Hamish & Andy - 2024 Ep 277 - Jack’s Unbelievable Request!

Episode Date: November 6, 2024

Jack surprises the guys with an unbelievable request in classic weasel behaviour. Andy was perplexed by the name of a furniture store. Conrad Sewell joins the boys to prep for his appearance at ConCon, and a brand new merch launch for the pod! 1. Jack’s weasel request 2. Furniture Okay 3. Conrad Sewell at ConCon 4. H&A golf balls 

A listener production. Activate your internet because the Hey Mission and the podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. One. Ahoy to me, Bradycardia. Hey. Okay. Hey. Ahoy to me brattycardia. Hey. Okay.

Um, hey. Just trying to be a brat. Well, he got it the first time last week and he was saying it'd be harder. Mike is looking over smugly over there. He's done something gen Z, I reckon. Ahoy to me tachycardia. Oh, I know what we are. We're to do with the heart.

I think we're the... Are we the different... A orders? No, no, no. I think it's like the beats of the heart. Like it's machines you use for the heart. I'm going to give it to you to abnormal heart rhythms. That's what it is.

And I was a fibrillation. Hamish is familiar with abnormal rhythms as a drummer, so that's why he got it so easily. Yeah. Oh, yes. Good dig, but I think what you mean is sometimes when the guitar's so slow, you have to slow the beat down to try and catch the guitar

and bring it back to the band's pace. Silly I gave Hamish the, sorry, Jack, the tachycardia, which is the heartbeats too fast. That's when the hearts go out, the beats over 100 beats per minute. Your taco is going wild. Yes, and bradycardia is the disruption of electronic impulses conducted by the heart and fibrillation, a quivering heartbeat, which is me in that case. It should have been Jack because he obviously has stage presence like a quivering mess.

That was a long time ago. You guys haven't seen me play in a long time. Where are you playing? Well I'm not playing on stage but in my bedroom. We have to play again at some point don't we gents? Yeah I'm not. There's no way we're not playing again. Often I think about that song that Jack thinks is perfect for the band. Yeah. Haim and I had a chat about it the other day over beer.

We're like, Man, Jack, I send him, I send Jack songs. Sometimes Haim sends me like one question out of thousands and, well, tens and hundreds of thousands of songs in the universe. He goes, is it this? Yeah. Is he ever close? No.

No. No. Because the way I listen to it. It's got all, it's great, if you got, if you both got behind it, it would be a great song for the band. Yeah, sorry, just to catch people up, you know, obviously for Cool Boys and the Front Man, the band, our band we're talking about, it needs to have enough of an area for us to all show off. It needs to have a good drum bit that I can feel positive I'm showing off in. Jack needs to be able to show off on lead guitar and Ando, you need to show off on whatever the special instrument is. This has an exotic instrument.

This has an exotic, okay, great. It kills me, I don't know, I just wanna know what it is. Yeah, same. Hannah from Brisbane also has gone to hamishandy.com to tell us what she's been up to. Ahoy Hamish Andy and everybody's favourite little baby boy Jack. This is Hannah from Brisbane. I've come to tell us quick shout out to my housemate Bridget who

is off traveling through Europe at the moment. Hi Bridget, just let you know I have successfully caught up on the Hampton India podcast. I think when you left I was still in April but I'm up to date. So thanks boys, love what you do. Bye. Nice Hannah. That's lovely. Hey, Jack actually wanted to start today's show. Well, I've got something to bring up that has to do with the three things that Mike gives you for the start of the show. This is something that we did two years ago on the show. It's been in the

back of my head ever since waiting for the right time and today is the right time to bring it up. So this is two years ago when Andy used the start of the show in a Weasley type way. Ahoy to me zorb Hamish. Ahoy to me groomer. A zorb and a groomer. We are components of the latest Dyson vacuum cleaner. Oh, is this a Weasel? That's right. And then I think we allowed, we're allowed one weasel each for three things

to be able to get the product we wanted. Mine was a Dyson vacuum cleaner at the time. This is exactly what we got on to say. OK, now listen, we'll allow it once for the excellent Dyson vacuum products. Once only, I'll take it. Once only. What about once each? So you filter me what you want. I'll give you one and then Hank can give you one another day.

That's nice. What about, I mean, since we're doing it and sort of wasting the listeners' time for our own gain, what about once each but to satisfy our weasel hunger? Once each but we all get the thing. OK, great. Good new policy. Wow. Just three weasels deciding on what the zoo should feed them each day.

And opting for the most food possible. Just three fat weasels. Giggling like hyenas. Well, Jack, it's no, I mean, does it not take a weasel scientist to figure out why you've bought us here? You've obviously something's popped up in your world and you're trying to set the legal precedent to go, it's okay for me to bring this to the group now. And I remember I've had that in my head since we did it, but I've just been

waiting for the, I didn't want to waste it on just anything. That is so funny because I forgot that we did that immediately. Yeah, to me, I'm worried that a certain Mr. R has passed away and we're about to start connecting. 8380. Exciting you, Melbourne to Dallas. No, it is in flights, overseas flights. Because you are well covered? It is.

Although we do not talk about it. It is indulgent, I will say that. But I have a reason for wanting it. Okay. Because you don't want to pay the money to get it. Just out of curiosity. Yes, that's the reason. Just out of curiosity, heading into the government mandated break, have you been in touch with

Mr Ralph? We are underway with doing flights for next year. Is that what you mean? We are underway. By underway, what does that mean? It means we talk to Bianca's mum and she goes and talks to Mr. Ralph. The system is underway. Jack's saying it like that because he's like, we can't slow it down now. You can't catch it now. It's underway. So do you say the specific dates? We do, yes.

And then what if Mr. R comes back and says, I can't do those dates? Does that ever happen? No, that's why we give him such long lead time. Because yeah, doesn't it? This is until July next year. The lights open up one year out. So I would imagine you're on it 364 hours. You're pretty much.

We give ourselves plenty of room. And you've got to also I don't like talking about Mr. Rolfe too much, but we you got to know that he's like whatever he does, he's high up there. We've never had a problem where he's gone. Oh, we can't do those days. So you know how sometimes your Bianca's mum has to check the temperature? Yeah. That's why it takes a long time is because-

She's waiting for the right day. When you reached out, did Bianca's mum go, oh no, he's hot. That's the thing. We give our perfect dates to Bianca's mum and we leave it with her and then she waits for the right time. And do you ever- Yeah. This is like getting, I don't know, like a mobile phone into jail.

It's like, you just ask the guy that talks to the guy. It's like, you won't know when you won't know how. It'll turn up in your soup when it turns up in your soup. Do you ever follow up with Bianca's mom to go, how are we going? Or is that, would that be considered rude? You'd be pushy boy. No, we don't like to push. No, we just trust the system.

Okay, you don't want to be a pushy boy. One thing I would love to do, I know we don't talk about Mr. R Jack, but I know Bianca's family comes to visit Australia. People still pledge to not talk about it? Yeah, the t-shirt's still available to take the pledge. Well, we don't talk about it. We don't really bring them up. But since it seems we might be slightly talking about it. Yep. T-shirts still available to take the pledge. Well, we don't talk about it. We didn't really bring them up. But since it seems we might be slightly talking about it here, one thing I would kill to see would be Bianca's mom's performance to Mr. R.

Cause I assume they're like hanging out and just sort of like, you know, adjust the cutlery, like, Oh, actually. Would she ever record it? No, no, no, no, no, that's getting, that's dicing with danger that we don't need to douse. What I want to do is dress up as an old man when she's in Australia mixed and we see like a dress rehearsal. That'd be great.

Just for us all to see how she does it. Yeah. Would she do that? She is here over the mandated break. But we can't work. Is she coming to Darcy's it? Yeah. Would she do that? She is here over the mandated break. Oh, we can't work. Is she coming to Darcy's wedding? Who's Darcy's wedding? Darcy from the show.

Did you guys get invited to Darcy's wedding? We do not talk about Mr. D. Did you guys get invited? No, I'm just saying is she coming for that? Wow, usually when you're doing guest lists, you do like everyone at work or no one. I thought he was doing a no one. No, he's not doing any.

What, what day is the wedding? I'm doing a no comment. I think it's been. When's the wedding? I don't need to go. I think he cancelled it yesterday. That's what I meant. If you're coming for that, don't let a guy over at the cancelling. I'm not disappointed by that. I know it is hard.

Nothing's happening so it doesn't matter. I know it's hard to make a guess. It is hard. You have to make hard decisions. Andrew, I can't. Is she coming out for my wedding? Or, you haven't got an invite to that either. Sure not, you. I'm coming to your wedding. If she's coming out for Andy's wedding, hope her health is good because there's been no movement at the station, unfortunately, in terms of wedding plans,

despite me. Vlog engagement. When's it on the calendar for? Ballpark. The calendar hasn't come out. The calendar of which it could be... The calendar company that makes the calendars hasn't even been incorporated yet. The CEO of the calendar company is still in year eight. No, they still have everything about it. How do you think about it? Well, get a wriggle on, mate, because there's a bunch of us that are pretty keen on the bucks party. Don't try and deflect from the fact that you dropped the Darcy wedding situation on

Jack. How was I meant to know? Is Mike going? No. I hope not. Mike, you are invited. Mike was invited, but not going. So it frees up his part.

I don't want a charity spot. I don't want someone else's seat. I do. I, well, the thing is I might be in town for it, but so can't make it. I don't want to come. I don't want to come. I don't want to come. I don't need to come.

Can we get, can I ask for my thing yet? Yes, go for it. Did you forget? Oh, sorry. Yes, sorry. I was just on an invite to Darcy's. Cause we'll be legally bound to give you one. No, I want a golf cart. A motorised golf cart.

A motorised golf cart. Not like the one that you drive, the one that you're a moat. The one that you drive. A motorised golf buggy. No, the one that you drive. Where were you? What do you mean? How were you used to that?

Where were you keep it? Because my friend's dad. From Club Car. Isn't there only one brand that makes them? There's a few, but Club Car I would be very interested in talking to. From Clubcar. Isn't there only one brand that makes them? There's a few, but Clubcar I would be very interested in talking to. E-Car. He's already done the research.

Jack, they're like 15 grand, aren't they? Well, they've got to be expensive. This is what I heard. I haven't looked this up, but my friend's dad does this and he says it's true. If you, you can use a golf cart within a kilometer of any golf course. That's not true. So he can drive from his house just because he lives close without having it registered as a car.

That's not true. That is 100% not true. Where's he driving? On the road? And I live 600... Definitely doesn't sound true. I live 650 meters from my local golf course. So I could drive from my driveway down to the golf course.

If that is... Maybe on Hamilton Island. If that is true, we will look into this for you. But I don't think it's true. Well, this is also just an open letter to... Searching for a car. My point is, if that's not true, when are you ever going to use it? I'm searching now. Carly's saying you can.

Yes, you can legally drive a golf cart on the road Victoria, Australia, but there are some restrictions. Purpose golf carts can only be used on public roads for a maximum of two kilometres at a time and only for their intended purpose to play golf. Oh yes, this is exactly what I want to fall for. Registration golf carts must be conditionally registered to be used on public roads. So then you have to still register them. So you will have to be registered, so you have a little number plate on it.

But that's fine. Oh, mate, come on. You're so, I mean, I understand the laziness here. You can't be bothered walking 650 meters to the golf course and you're driving every round, but. You must have safety guards, horn and lighting and fishing braking system. I think they could do that.

The speed limit, the recommended speed and the conditional registration is 20 kilometers I think they could do that. The speed limit, the recommended speed and the conditional registration is 20 kilometers an hour. That's fine. You mean you just be like when you see a tractor on the, if everyone just sort of drives around. And you must have a driver's license. Why are you groaning at this Jack?

What did you expect to happen? Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Okay. If there has to be some restrictions. What did you want? A golf cart that goes 100 kilometers an hour and your own private road.

Just so you know, Jack, just because we mentioned doesn't mean. No, that I know how it works. So when you did the Dyson one, that was just hoping that Dyson listened to it and thought that it was a nice thing to do. And then you did get your vacuum cleaner. I'm saying to E-car, Club Car and you know who else manufactures golf cars? Yamaha. Yamaha.

I'm already sponsored by Yamaha guitars. Wouldn't it be so perfect? They weren't wrapped with that. I've actually spoken to the head of PR at Yamaha who said the fact that you kept referring to them as slow guitars. Well, I didn't do that. You can only assume they have the same engines in their golf carts. Okay.

Jack, but this is where you stumbled so often with Weasling. Your eyes light up so much, you list several brands. So now Yamaha hears this and goes, well, he listed all the competitors as well. You put it out to tender and he just listed one vacuum cleaner brand. That's how he got a dizer. Okay. Oh, well, I don't want to hedge my bets. That's right.

And then they don't come to you because you're naming all their competitors. The hedge is out there. Let's see. Yeah. Good luck. I've got three hooks in the water. That's all it means instead of one. Well, I tell you what, if you took two hooks out now would mean a lot to the remaining

hook, but who will you give the gesture to? Who do you think is the best golf cart? Who do you think? I think. From the research you've done makes the best quality golf cart. I am a Yamaha man through and through. They make the best guitars. I'm sure they make the best golf carts.

And I'm happy to put my name on that. All right, great. So he's put all his eggs in that basket. That is Obama, because I know the head of golf. I'm still interested to talk. No, you've I'm still interested to talk. No, you back together. Guys, Bec and I were getting some new furniture for our apartment. Yep.

We're waiting for the house to be ready in about 19 years. We're building. Yeah, this furniture. This might not even be the last couch you buy for this apartment. No, no. We've been there for so long. So the, the, the, the furniture we went to was a furniture shop we saw called

furniture. Okay. So I wanted to kind of troubleshoot with you or spitball with you guys, what they, what kind of tone okay is such a, as a word you can use in so many different ways. What kind of tone do you think they're going for? It could be furniture OK. So I'm like, what are you doing in there? Furniture OK, like a 16 year old yelling at their parents.

Yeah, or someone keeps coming into their shop for car parts and they go, it's furniture OK. Like, it's very emphatic. Is it, I mean, is it, is the most obvious definition here? Like, like it's missing a question mark and an exclamation mark, like furniture. Okay. Like it needed a comma, but there's no comma and there's no punctuation around it at all. What I first thought and why I said it's sitting at Barlow's, it sounds

like the furniture's it's okay. Well, yeah. I low is it sounds like the furniture's, it's okay. Well, yeah, I mean, it feels like the opposite of fantastic furniture. Yeah. But maybe they want you to go like, hey, we know we're not getting the best furniture, but it's got to be at a discounted price, you imagine. Let's be honest. I mean, you're getting it, it catches $180, so come on. It's okay.

What do you think? But then you need an it's, it should be called OK Furniture. Yeah, it confuses me it's not called OK Furniture. Seems a little bit like when they registered, like putting the business name in, someone was standing near the computer and they go and they were like, now you type in like what you're selling, furniture, and then hit and then OK. And they've just written it down instead of like hitting the

okay button on the form. Yeah. There's another, there's another way it could be read with like furniture submit. There's another way which we use okay, which is like when we're intrigued. So it could be furniture. Is that how bad it was? No, like, okay. Is this furniture, is it? Okay. I suppose it would be interpreted as furniture. Or when you go into a store and you weren't expecting to buy furniture that day, but you've walked in and you're going, oh, furniture.

Okay. It's a new thought. And I suppose I could get around it. How was the quality? Was it okay? Yeah, it was fine. It was good. I mean, it was named right. Furniture fine.

Furniture fine. Yeah, but I think you're right. It's not like it's okay furniture because that makes it sound poor. I think it's better than okay. Oh, there's your Google review. I actually think this is better than okay. I think it's the last one. I think it was like, and the shop was in a, we went out to

visit, it was in a really weird spot. Like in this industrial kind of complex and it was, it didn't really have any of a shop front. You had to like knock on a door to go through. So it's mostly stolen gear. No, no. I think it's- And the sign was on cardboard with a Sharpie. No, no. I think they just do most online. They don't have people visit that much. But you know that I'm not an online purchaser.

I like going into store. I think it was more... Yeah, I can't believe you would go into store. I think it was more what Jax just said in the last one. I think it's... You walk in there and you go, oh, okay. It's the feeling they want you to have. Okay. What else were you thinking was in there and you go, oh, okay. It's the feeling they want you to have. Okay.

What else were you thinking was in there? Oh, we're just inspecting rundown warehouses. What do you got? Furniture. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. We're going to mooch around and find some old theatre props or something.

What did you get? Banana lounge. For the apartment? Which one's a banana lounge? Just an outdoor lounge for like on the balcony. Oh, right. One of those ones that reclines all the apartment. Which one's a banana lounge? Just an outdoor lounge for like on the balcony. Oh, right. One of those ones that reclines all the way. Yeah. Well, yeah. Just like a sunlounge. That's the answer to the question.

Okay. Okay. Hey. A week and a half away from ConCon, there's plenty for us to get through. Let's jump into it. There's a cool new conference, no matter your biz. Con Con. That conference so nice you can deduct it.

Once at a maximum. Can't stress it enough. We're so excited that we've secured Conrad Sewell as a guest musical speaker. Certainly not entertaining. And we've got to keep an eye on him because he's got a brilliant stage present and he's normally very entertaining on stage. But I'm going to pair it right back. Jack, you're going to have to be on him coaching him how to reduce stage

presence. You're going to have to do a separate conference in another side room to teach him how to remove stage presence. separate conference in another side room to teach him how to remove stage presence. He's going to come perform his new hit. Absolute banger. If you haven't heard it yet, here's the chorus. I know we're going to make it as long as we're together. We got a different kind of love. You know we got a different kind of love. No know we've got a different kind of love.

No other way to say it. Yep. Nobody does it better. This is almost too entertaining, isn't it? 12. Really? That's the problem. That's 12.

He won't... We're like, if he does do that, that's just... No way we can explain that away to the tax office. Why? That's just sheer entertainment. If that happens, that probably does happen at other conferences. I bet other conferences just close with a song and they don't get pinged by it. Bing for it.

But we are under the eye. We are being screwed now, so we must do it by the book. The song is called, it's called, We've Got A Different Kind Of Love. The man who wrote it and sings it is on the phone with us right now. Conrad Sewell. Hello. Boys, how are we? So good.

Konkonkon, how are we, my friend? I'm very excited. It's all I've been hearing about since I've been back in Australia is Konkonkon, getting calls from all over the world about this conference. Yeah, you must run in a pretty businessy crowd. 100%. Yeah, it's all coming from the office, but yeah, very excited to be involved. Um, I just not sure exactly how I'm getting involved though. So I think we need to chat about a few things. Yes.

Well, we wanted to, the song as it stands is not instructional or business like enough. So we've gone about changing the lyrics and we plan on having a PowerPoint presentation that comes up behind you as you perform. So we just wondered whether we can talk you through where we are with the lyrics at the moment and see if they sit okay with you. Yeah, cool. Yeah, let's do that. That sounds like a good plan. I'm just gonna say, like, if we then if we pull this off adequately, the audience gets the experience of having had you sing a song very, very much like your current hit. But at the same time, they're taking away educational stuff.

And it means when everyone's putting their tax returns in, we're still very much above board. Sweeto Burrito. This is the way your song starts. You know that, but this is for everybody else. Now we have suggested you to start normal. How did we end up here? And it was Hames' great suggestion to show a graph of Prophet down behind you. So the song is alluding to the fact that prophets aren't going well. It feels like an all staff meeting. And do I stop like after each line and then the PowerPoint will come up?

No, I think the timing responsibility will be on our tech person to be scrolling through the slides properly. All right. So no new line has to be remembered for the first one. Then you've obviously got, how do we end up here with our eyes filled with tears? We think you can still sing that as long as you're saying tears, T-I-E-R-S,

and we'll show a graph of a tiered management structure. Different tiers of management, right. That's smart. That's smart. Yeah, it is. And then, can't we love like we're young again? Haim's suggestion, which I think is a good one, can't we lead like we're young again? So it's about being fearless as a boss.

It's about going back to when we were younger managers. Yeah, great. Okay. Yeah, for sure. I'm with you. Only you know the shit we've been through. We survived hand in hand and we'll dance again. So we thought maybe if we replace the word shit with sheets. And it's Excel sheets. Yeah, that's genius, actually.

Genius. Yep. Yep. Great. Yep. And then you've got, we survived hand in hand. We thought maybe we survived COVID plans. And then instead of, and we'll dance again, Andy? Back in black again, referring to being out of the red and- In profit.

Now, yeah, not, not ACDC's interpretation of back in black. This is more of economists. Yeah. Okay. Back in black. That feels good. Feels educational, but still sticking to the plant. I like it.

And there we would have actually the graph of profits turning around that would come up in the background. So we've been through COVID. I guess it's more of an industry that took a COVID hit rather than a COVID bump. And then, yeah, but then the profits come back. Onto the next verse. You're the missing link in my chain, even when it drives me insane. And I wouldn't change a thing about that. Hey, this was your suggestion if you want to pick it up. You're the missing LinkedIn, my supply chain.

And when it drives profits down the drain, I wouldn't go changing management. So we think it's a story of the boss. Hey, how am I going to sing that in that melody? It just feels a bit wordy. You say you're the missing link in my chain. All you have to put in is... You're the missing link in my chain. Yeah, but supply chain.

Yeah. You're the missing link in my supply chain. You are. You are. You are writing. You're the missing link in my supply chain. You are, you are, you are writing. You're the missing LinkedIn, my supply chain. The missing LinkedIn, comma, my supply chain. You're the missing LinkedIn, my supply chain. You have to just commit to it actually. I don't even think it is an exercise.

A bit of an Ed Sheeran flow there. And we've got to stress, your lyric was missing LinkedIn in and we're using linked in the business social media platform They're looking at the course of course we're looking at the script here and we can see the capital capital I but this would make more sense when you see the script. So we like I think the song What was the song about when you wrote it? Song was about me having kids and and how it changes your relationship The song was about me having kids and how it changes your relationship. The interesting. For better and for worse.

That's lovely. Ours is more a boss that is worried that he might lose his job. And he's going to try and turn things around. So that's why he says, I wouldn't go changing management. That's a really key line. And that's where he's hoping his staff are getting behind him. But it is similar to Conrad's song because he's going, look, we've had kids, things are different now, but I'm not suggesting a change of management.

We're not breaking up. I'm not suggesting we break up because we're in it now for the long run. And we have, we've increased manufacturing, we've increased manufacturing, we've produced more humans. But I'm suggesting management perhaps bonds more, perhaps produced more humans. But I'm suggesting management perhaps bonds more, perhaps in a retreat or we change our management style. Yes. So I think we're actually kind of just doing the same song.

Draw from the same emotions then, Conrad, as you sing it. That's actually really good. Point ham. Here's the second part of the pre-chorus. So yeah, you're the beat that makes my heart skip. I thought we could go with, we can offer more internships. Um, and you never let me forget. I think it's time to make some hay. Instead of I wouldn't want it any other way,

making hay, of course, making some props. Oh, time to make, yeah, right, okay. We can have this- Not the best one in the song, but- No, no, it was barely this one. But I think all singers have that, don't you? You all have a lyric where you're like, let's just say this- Just to get you from A to B. We call that a throwaway lyric, guys.

Yeah, throwaway lyric. But that's all right, they gotta be in there. Just to get you to the to B. We call that a throwaway lyric, guys. Yeah, throwaway lyric. But that's all right, they've got to be in there. Just to get you to the chorus. Throw that one away. Get us to the chorus. OK, yeah, great. So then we're into the chorus. Ando's written this and I really like it, but now I'm just hearing it to the music. But tell me if this is your interpretation, Ando.

So instead of, I know we're going to make it, I know the global market. As long as we're together. That's good. Following the plan outlined above. Following the plan outlined above. And that's right. And then then that's when we will put a slide up that shows the business forward planning. Yeah, I love that. That's great.

You know, I feel like you guys have really respected the art, but but also, it's got to work. We've got to get a bit of entertainment in there without it being entertaining. Too much. Careful. Careful. Don't be too entertaining. Don't be too entertaining. Don't run the risk.

Educational entertainment. Thank you. Yes, exactly. But yeah. I really like this, Ando. I've actually emceed a corporate conference before, and I was invited back a few years in a row, and it was always the format was, forget about last year, this is the next year's plan. And they really like next year's plan at conferences. And then

I come back the next year and the format was again, don't worry about last year. This next year, this is the one that's going to work. And three years in a row, that was the message. So it's very popular at conferences to talk about next year's plan. Great. So there's very little change to the second part of the chorus. We'll just round this up, Jacko. This is the second part of the chorus, Conrad's version. So we thought we could just go with no other way to say it's good. I mean, we could say no other way to pay it, so it's a bit more financial. I think it's fine the way it is.

Fine the way it is. Okay. Nobody does it better, which is true, because that's with these bosses going, come on, we can do this together. With this plan outlined above, we've got this plan outlined above. And we're all pointing at the plan outlined above. And then we kind of, I know there's more to the song, but we sort of feel that's it. Yeah, I feel like that's the high point.

Yeah, I wouldn't go on about it, you know what I mean? I feel like second verse isn't important. We've said what we needed to say up there to everyone. So yeah, that feels good to me actually. Yeah, I love, I love as a strategy. We wouldn't, anyway, we're not going to go on about it halfway through this beautiful song about your life changing after you have had kids. Anyway, I'm not going to go on about it.

Just going to stop the song there. Hey, the song's a cracker. I just don't have to remember that many new ones. Smart, smart. Well, I've got a proposal that has just popped into my head. So apologies to the other members of Con Con in here for throwing this at you cold here, Conrad. We've obviously, you know, the idea of having you there for a song is

awesome and that as we've said, you don't want to go on about it, but we are kind of finishing halfway through the song. We were thinking of having you, we've got two sessions in the morning, two con- business conference sessions in the morning, and we were thinking of having you at the end of session two. Andy and Jack, how would you guys feel about Conrad playing at the end of session one and the end of session two, Andy and Jack, how would you guys feel about Conrad playing at the end of session one and the end of session two? Same thing, same performance, but it's two half songs equaling a whole song.

And then immediately after that first course, I just walk off stage. You walk off, but then you come back and do the same thing again, like come back for the encore at the end of session two. Yeah. Yeah. It's going to be like a really abrupt stop, I think. I like having it. It's nice. Yeah.

Yeah. That's like having a matinee before. It's a move we haven't seen on stage since we brought Frank Stallone out. That's right. Sylvester Stallone's brother who sang one song we really liked, and we made him open with it, close with it, and then do it twice in the encore. Yeah, that's brilliant. That's brilliant. Great. Okay. Well, thank you, Conrad. We'll get all the lyrics to you. On the day, we will have some prompting as well, but that's largely for the person running the PowerPoint presentation behind you. By the way, I was on Spotify listening to your stuff. Firestone's

had over a billion listens. Do you know that? Yeah, mate. Yeah. And that's, that's the, thank God for that song. That's still providing. A billion. The marriage would be over by now if I didn't have that song.

A billion. A billion. A billion. What do you get? Do you get something from Spotify? You know on YouTube you get like a golden thing, like if you get a million subscribers or something? You get like a bowl., like if you get a million subscribers or something? You get like a bowl. You get a bowl and actually I'm with um with Mask Wolf at the moment.

He's the only person I know in this country other than me. Actually, Tony Deny's got one as well. That's got a billion bowl and I'm staring at one right now. Is it called a billion bowl? You get a bowl? Yeah, you get a billion bowl. What does a bowl look like? It's like a silver bowl on a plaque, but everybody like Drake ate his rigatoni out of it.

Like someone did cereal. You're supposed to eat something out of it. Oh, right. Have you? Bowl? Am I missing something? Like why is Spotify giving out bowls? I don't know, because they're not giving out any money. They're just giving you bowls. Yeah, if only I could fill this with food. Not everyone's Drake. Congratulations. We made a billion dollars. You get a bowl. Conrad, so thank you so much for joining us. We'll see you in a couple weeks time, buddy.

See you soon. Most love, man. Bye. Hey, I mean, risk of breaking the rule of too much golf chat. We weren't expecting Jack to bring up his request for a Yamaha Golf Golf Cart so he can drive to his local course. Sorry, just before we get to the next golf thing we're about to know, I promise after that we will probably do no golf for the end of the year, barring possibly playing some

at Con Con if time permits. I know we sort of got carried away and we're like, Jack's gonna, he's chosen Yamaha, he's weaseling a, you know, $10,000 plus vehicle from... That's what he's hoping for. Can you clarify the rules, Jack, of that bit you played back to us where we were like, okay, well, if we're all going to do this, then we all have to get one. Oh yeah. Just can I ask, just sitting here thinking about it, is the rule rule three or none like if Yamaha comes to you and says one I think Would do you guys want one? Yeah, you don't know what you don't know

I don't think you do We said didn't we Andy say the rules of weaseling on the show will be three or none I Don't think you want one. I do. Desperately. So do I. And do you want one? Oh yeah. Yeah, now. But you got to remember, you got to live within a kilometre of the front of the

golf course. I'll move. Oh yeah, you can put your, all requests are out there. We'll move house. We'll move house. Oh yeah, you can put your, all requests are out there. I think it's important to state, Jack, when, if and when Yamaha makes contact, it's three or nothing. No, I think it's- Actually, I think, I think my house that we're building, I think if I hit the apex on all

the corners, I'd be with you. I would be within a kilometer. Might be riding the curve a bit. I think a few people walking and talking. The request is definitely the asker should be the priority and then if carts permit, then you guys can have one. No, I don't remember that in the conditions. I think we all get one. Electric or petrol?

Electric. Interesting. But I know I was just saying to Jake before, I was like, don't you have to run the extension cable out your window already to charge it to Tesla? Why are you getting another electric car? In the future, they'll all be charged probably from the same port or something.

I haven't thought about where I'll store it at home, but I've got this image of me driving down the normal street on the golf cart straight to the first day. We know the image, but I do think it's worth pointing out that you don't have a carport even do you? No. Amazing. So where is it going? Well, probably in the backyard.

Just exposed to the weather for the weeks and weeks on end before you use it. Anyway, the request. It's real nothing. We'll get the request out there, Jack. For those who cannot clench their thirst with the free golf cart from Yamaha, we've got a golf offering for you. People have been asking us, there's been nothing in the H&A store for a while. Of course, we had the Mr. Ralph, sorry, Mr. Chertz. That

was meant to be a bigger hoo-ha. We had planned spinoffs, but it got kiboshed by Jack and his family. So that's fine. You planned spinoff t-shirts. Well, what's a spinoff t-shirt? We had other ideas. So it's true. We had other ideas for the Mr. Ralph range, but that's all right. That's fine. Plans can change and we run a pretty lean operation in there anyway.

But Ando, we have, we've been using ourselves a sort of a prototype almost of this product. Um, for times when we've been on the golf course, it brings, it absolutely brings the house down when, you know, you might run into someone that listens to the show, you do a bow, it's actually quite handy to stretch your hamstrings on the course anyway so I always enjoy that. But we also have had a few little Hamish and Andy balls that we have made that have got the show name printed on them or sometimes the words must be very nice printed on them. So people have asked where you get these and you hadn't been able to get them.

Until then it just had to be meeting one of the sort of golf course. Until now. What? When it comes to your golf, are you sick of slicing, booking, chunking, thinning and duffing? Yes! What about cranking, buffing and coiling? I don't think they're golf terms.

The last one's to do with pottery. Don't show off doing three things, mate. LAUGHTER Well, don't blame yourself. Blame the equipment. And specifically... Blame your ball. Here at Hamish and AMV HQ, we've independently chosen to team up with TaylorMade

to revolutionise the golf ball. We've come up with a ball that is as round, if not rounder, than any other ball you've seen. And not only that, it has writing on it. Wow! Yes, a ball that knows who you are, a ball that you can relate to. If you have a personal connection with that ball,

it is bound to treat you better. So if you're not fussed by the flashiness of high-tech gizmos and prefer to play a regular public course rather than a stuffy, snobby member's club, grab yourself a carton of the In Touch with the Common Golf of Golf Balls. But if you're a little bit uptight like Andy and you're a member at over 12 golf clubs... That's not in the script.

...you'll be drawn to the must-be very nice carton of golf balls. It's the perfect gift for Christmas and we'd normally price them at $1,000 a box, but we're having a 92% off sale. That's 92%, so they're yours for just $80 plus shipping. That's still a lot. That's how much golf balls cost, Mike. Yeah, that's true, Mike. The common golfer ones are actually even cheaper than that, meaning everyone is catered for.

Get your In Touch With The Common Golfer and must-be-very-nice golf balls only available at hamishnanny.com. meaning everyone is catered for. Get your In Touch With The Common Golfer and Must Be Very Nice Golf Balls only available at hamishandandy.com. If you don't see vast improvements in your game within 17 years, you can apply for your money back. For us to assess to give you money. Oh yeah, exactly, just apply. There you go.

Well, Hando, that ad, that ad will work on people, but this is legitimately what we've got. We've got two streams of golf ball available for a Christmas present. Must be very nice balls. Please give them to someone that you think is trying to weasel their way up in society at fancier clubs. But also the in touch with the common golfer ball. You know a bit more about this, Hando, but they're the more entry level type ball. They're actually a much better ball to use if you're just starting out the game because there's less spin so it's less sliding when I'm going into the boring parts. But we should also point out that we haven't developed the ball with TailorMade. They are very good balls.

Let's be really clear. We've just printed stuff on TailorMade balls, but they come from us. Presales at HamishNainty.com. We don't have heaps of them. I think there's about a hundred cartons of each. I think it's about 100 cartons of each. I think it's not much at all. So head there if you want to check them out and purchase some good Christmas gift. When was the last time you bought balls, Jack?

I also like tailor-made a lot. And they- You've said enough. You've said enough. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at HamishandAndy.com