Hamish & Andy - 2024 Ep 279 - ConCon - A Conference For All

Episode Date: November 20, 2024

ConCon is here! Did Hamish deliver on his biscuit promises? Did the controversial Session 3 go ahead? Did delegates walk away with all-education and no-entertainment?!  Hamish Still Hasn't Finished his slides Networking Welcome Drinks Jack and the WhatsApp Nerves are Kicking In Session 1 Mid Session Break Session 2 Testimonials ConConConrad Sewell

As a famous person who could have easily been googled before finalising this script but wasn't once said, only two things are certain, death and taxes. Hamish and Andy smartly realised there's not much you can do about reducing the first, but perhaps there's something you can do about minimizing the second. So ConCon was born. A conference for all where everyone in attendance would have their industry talked about by Hamish, Andy or Jack. A two or possibly even three session educational and by no means entertaining learn fest Across two days with more facts than biscuits, and that's saying something, as there were 3,000 biscuits. 300 tickets were sold in minutes.

Merch was secured. Australia's best biscuit-themed band, Kingston Crumb, was sourced to play mood-setting music. Tea times were booked, but strictly only as a backup in case Session 3 didn't go ahead. All that was left was to deliver the best damn conference the business world had ever seen. However, that would have to wait for one more day, as we pick up the action in Hamish and

Andy's hotel room at RACV Royal Pines Resort, minutes before the welcome drinks and registration. Business ladies and business gentlemen, get ready to hold on to your receipts. Welcome to CONCON24. Friday 10 past three, we've arrived at CONCON. Lovely rooms, tax deductible. You guys both feel it. My room isn't as nice as this. This is a very nice room.

We're in Andy's room at the moment. This must be very nice. And BVVM. Well, I don't know who is doing the administration of all this, but I guess that's just how the cookie crumbled. I'll go down and have a word to receptionist right after this, Jack. Thank you, guys. You didn't get as good a room as us.

Well, it actually says, so I'm on floor 15, you guys are on floor 19, and in the lift, there's a little plaque next to 19 that says executive rooms. I don't know how you got up here, to be honest. Okay, Mike, we haven't updated people. We've got the conference tomorrow, biscuit hour from 9 to 10. Can I say, yeah, that was way too casual, that intro, because we're on. Yeah, we're at the conference.

We're on. My mind is racing. Can I tell you how excited I was when we landed? I realised, we're at the conference. We're on. My mind is racing. Can I tell you how excited I was when we landed? I realised there's an hour time difference. New South Wales to Queensland. I need... Oh, you picked up an hour to do your work. I needed that hour. But we're done.

Wednesday. I finish on Wednesday. Yeah, I mean, we've given Mike the stuff, but now it's like, OK, so what do I put there? What, so you went slides first and then you're going to fill in the blanks? I'm still refining some stuff. I am still refining a little bit of a few ideas and a few presentations. Well, people don't know this, but Mike has been given the job

of putting together the whole presentation. He's proved himself. But we made our own graphs, our own pictures, that sort of thing. What many graphs did you do, to be honest? Oh, I have some graphs. I think you'd be surprised. I got a text from Hayme. What many graphs did you do, to be honest? I have some graphs. I think you'd be surprised. I got a text from Haim on Thursday morning. I'll let you bring it up. Thursday, which was after the much-hyped Wednesday deadline.

But I will say this. I wrote what the content of the seminar was going to be, and then I made a picture or a graph to match it. I didn't make the graph first, and then try and fill it in what, tonight? Well, that was the hope, except I got I got here and then because Magic Mike came on my flight so we actually went and had a steak. And then I was like, keep your receipts.

Yes. And then I was like, oh God, I've got that extra hour up my sleeve. That's used. Then I did the daily chess puzzle on chess.com. Then I had a nap. And it was a hard one. Here's the annoying thing. No, wait, hang on.

This is Hamish on Thursday at 6 a.m. Be honest, comma, what quality are your graphs? Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! That was it.

Were you honest with him? That was a private correspondence, Andy. This was a big response. Second question after my response. That was a private correspondence, Eddie. This was a big one. Second question after my response. Are you doing actual PowerPoint slides or just sending a gist to Mark? The reason that was Wednesday morning,

key bit of timing here because... So last bit of correspondence. After I replied, he went, this is so university. Because. I agree with that. Because this whole Wednesday deadline has absolutely ruined my week, right? So Andy is like, Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday, everyone's going to have it in by Wednesday,

which is outrageous for a Saturday event. But anyway, that is why I'm like, all right, got to try and, you know, meet the deadline. But I just physically can't, like my brain physically can't. I've been shooting Lego Masters at the moment. So it's actually landed in the five weeks of the year that I have a full-time job. Yeah, about Meg, there's so much downtime on that show. They built something for Finn and now

as you can tell them to start and finish. What about a bit in the middle, right, till I'm halfway? Do tell them halfway. I'm gonna just never watch the show for a bit, because I do about the bit in the middle where I tell them halfway? You do tell them halfway. I'm just here to watch the show for a bit, mate, because I do a fair bit around the halfway boat. He took me to the set once, which was very nice of him. I saw his trailer and he was like...

Slow week. Slow week. He's bugging people, the staff of the show, to like hang out with him in the trailer. He's got nothing to do. That was a slow week. I think the most I hear from Hamish is when he's actually got his full-time job. He has to be there, but he doesn't do anything. So we had an early wrap on Tuesday, right?

Which means that actually this doesn't happen for the whole rest of the production run. We'll finish at two o'clock. It's been just so much work. I was like, well, this is like a sign from the conference gods. You've got, you finish at two o'clock. Everything's due in Wednesday. You would think that's the time, but something inside me just went, you know what?

If I sit down and I start making conference slides to fulfill Andy's deadline, just another example. It's the whole deadline for us. It's just another example of the man winning. And it's about time Haim got one back. And so I actually went and played golf on Tuesday afternoon because I was like, look, I'm not even late yet. I'm not like the deadline's even passed yet.

That's why on Thursday morning. At 6am. I was like, okay, let's, we're now into overtime. Let's have a think about some of this stuff. Mike, you had a bunch of questions for us, you said. So you've got all the slides. You're going to establish the order which we go in? Mike, although since Thursday, hasn't it been an avalanche for me? Yeah, it has. And I was, I did get a few emails from you while I was on the plane here just a

few hours ago. Last minute updates and changes. I sent mine, I can say I sent mine in a neat package. I had all of my slides at once sent to Mike in a bowl. I will say... Good for you. Isn't that much more enjoyable, Mike, than receiving drips and drabs all the way through the week? I think you really all showed your own personalities through this. Andy's came in Tuesday, so they were actually a day early. And that was a really big help because it allowed me to offset

what I knew would be. It's not nerdy behaviour, it's helping a colleague. I knew. I don't know why the competition has been who can make Mike's day the nicest. It's actually about delivering education to conference participants. And that's why I'm fine tuning up to the buzzer.

And that's why tonight will be where the bulk of the work is done. Well, I rang Jezzy yesterday. He goes. Sorry, sorry I didn't pick up your call. I was working on something famous. Have you outsourced anything to Jez? Jez has been a great help. Great help. Okay, so Mike, you've got all of the details. Yes. A big concern I have is whether we're going to either go over time or under time. Yeah, I don't know either.

Mike, what can you gauge? I think you've all done actually a similar amount of work and the quality is really similar across all of yours in different ways. Bad news for you guys. I think it's evident how much effort you put in, but I think that, you know, at the end of the day, it's going to be a great conference. You've all prepared some great stuff. And every single industry is covered so everyone else can come here and learn, hence get the tax deduction. Yes.

Everything is covered really well. We're here to educate. Can't stress it enough. Okay, great. I'm not entertained. Who do you think should kick it off then? What, have you decided the order? Yes.

I think the order is going to be you, Andy, followed by Jack and then Hamish, which is the same order I got the slides. That sounds great. And would I have to be on stage for the first two or could I just be clean polishing some stuff out back? Can I say I don't want any changes after like six o'clock tonight? I would not want anything else to come through. Noted? If possible. Noted.

And that is your preference. Your preference is noted, but it's certainly not a hard and fast rule. Yeah, can't be. I think that works well that I'll go third because I've got it in session one that this mega moment that I'm planning, the mega moment I think will finish session one well. Haim said to me on Thursday, I'm not sure if I'm going to get him all in on time, even though he'd already missed the time.

To which I wrote back to him, just send a Wingdings doc, because back at university, Haim used to always just type out Wingdings and just send it in and go, oh sorry, corrupted to buy himself two or three more days. If this is getting any Wingdings files, mate? No, I didn't get any Wingdings files. Okay. This is telling me anything. It's that my brain is far better at getting out of the work than doing the work.

Yeah, yeah. You know how I was going to do a cooking demonstration for one of my seminars? I just think time-wise, we're going to scale that right back. Might be a personal story. And what's the mega moment? Should we get our hopes up or should we lower the bar? Don't get them too far down.

Really? Mike, have you seen past the mega moment? I actually don't know the Mega Moment. That's been kept strictly. Yeah. Did I send that Dropbox to you? The Google Docs? Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, that's true. It's just a flashing background. Yeah. I know. I saw that. It's still a little bit enigmatic. If it's a video of Michael Jordan passing to Pippen.

I promise you I don't have any videos of Michael Jordan passing to Pippen. Okay, good, good. All right, good luck everybody. Let's get down to the truth. You did say I could have one Michael Jordan video. We'll add one video each, I think. One video each of just something random, like licensed, someone else's IP. Yeah, yeah. Good luck everybody. Let's get down to the truth. You did say I could have one Michael Jordan video. We'll add one video each, I think. One video each of just something random, like licensed, someone else's IP.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Don't worry about that. Phew. We're on track. Because otherwise I'm going to have to rewrite 795. Registrations done, 300 attendees were wearing their ID lanyards and were keen to quench their thirst for knowledge and for beer at the welcome drinks and the energy in the room was electric.

But the mood quickly changed as this question was posed. We've been a housekeeping, we have ready winners, ah and you have to say yes if this is true otherwise it's entrapment. Is anyone from the ATA here? And there was someone who claimed to be from that particular organisation. I'm not representing them, but I technically work for the ATO.

But they also claimed that everything was going OK so far. I mean, I can't say whether it's sitting in the rules, but it definitely seems very educational. So with that unofficial tick-off and sage advice, it was time to get networking, work the room and meet some attendee. I'm Shay and I'm on the Gold Coast. My name's Ben I'm from Brisbane. Eliza from Melbourne. Aidan from Brisbane. I'm Nikita I'm from Brisbane. Lucas from Melbourne. I'm Chelsea Barber from South Australia. Ella from Gatton. Bailey Scott

from Melbourne. Jacob from Red Lumbar. Lockie I'm from Queensland. My name's Patty and I'm from Melbourne mate. We came from WA, so big tax rider. Yeah. And hopes were high for a conference full of knowledge. 100% education. I don't want to laugh once because I need this deduction. Learning about further business developments and knowledge and just furthering my skills in all business aspects.

With Andy's ability to be so organised and Hamish's fast and loose-ness, I think they can do really well to get it into a minute, yep. The networking was in full swing. I've already met Nikita, who is a dog groomer, and I'm in doggy daycare. So we're teaming up clients to send across the border to each other. It'll be great. Yep, pretty much everyone was there for the same thing.

I've met at least like eight deductible people, so you know, there's a lot of claims coming, I'll tell you that much, that's all we need to know. We've been shopping today, we've kept all of our receipts. Yeah, Mum's bought some shoes and she's wearing them now, so she'd love to know if she can claim them. Yeah, but I mean, check with your local accountant, but it clears everything on my end. There was also excitement in the room about the possible third session. Hoping to hit some good putts, some good straight drives

and just hope the wedge game's on for tomorrow. But let's not forget the most important thing people were there for. Ah, free biscuits. The biscuits is very important. That sets the tone. They better have the homemade biscuits. They did speak about that a lot. There's a lot of hype around them. So hopefully tomorrow morning we turn up and there's a tray of them. So after a successful group networking and a successful private keynote speaker dinner,

it was time to check in with each other before bed. Just returned from dinner where we've kept receipts. That's all above board because of course... I guess I needed a lot to fuel my brain for tomorrow's conference. And tonight's writing. Let's keep this absolutely possible because I've got a few things I'd like to go over. A few things I'd like to fine tune script-wise.

You know what's funny? Like by you going to bed late tonight, you also make Mark go to bed late because you've got to send him the slides. Yep. Do you know what that's actually quite reminiscent of? by you going to bed late tonight, you also make Mike go to bed late because you've got to send him the slides. Yep. Do you know what that's actually quite reminiscent of? The hat, making five hats. Yeah, it's reminiscent of everything you've ever done.

It really reminds me of hat night. Because my brain before we went to dinner was like, should I knock off a bit of fine tuning of the slides now? But then my brain was like, you know what, have dinner, relax, you'll be in a much better mindset. But after dinner, you actually find yourself quite tired. And that was like hat night. I'm not as angry as I was on hat night.

But I certainly, I'm a little angry. I can see some benefit of the old Tuesday or Wednesday system that you guys have gone with. But I also just know that it doesn't matter, we'll get it all done and the ideas are percolating I see some benefit of the old Tuesday or Wednesday system that you guys have gone with. Yeah. But I also just know that it doesn't matter. We'll get it all done and the ideas are percolating and they're gonna come out stronger than ever

from letting them brew this long. One thing we haven't checked in on is the WhatsApp, Jack. You've got 300 delegates. Oh yeah, Jack, you've been on the WhatsApp. So I am managing all our conferencies on the WhatsApp group. Has that been an onslaught? No, Mike, you're on it, aren't you? I'm on it as well, yeah.

How many messages do you think have come in in the last, what, 48 hours? A thousand? Yep, it's been great. You would say, Mike, I've done a great job of answering people's questions. You don't have to give Mike a yes, no. You can say, Mike, what kind of a job

do you think I've done? Yes. I think you actually started really strong. Like, it felt like a peter out, like you were really excited about it. I actually heard from someone just tonight when we were at the welcome drinks, they said, Jack's been good on the WhatsApp, except then he said, I'm going, sorry guys, I'm going to offer a really long dinner. And then didn't appear back on the WhatsApp for like 12 hours.

Yeah. When it started. I didn't say really long. I said, I'm going to dinner. No, no, you definitely said long dinner. Yeah, well that was... I had to eat all of my dinner. You can't blame a boy.

You can't blame a boy. Can't blame a boy for anything. He's to finish his dinner, mate. What's been... They are definitely nitpicking because I have above and beyond looked after that group, answered their questions. Have they abided by the rules to only use the WhatsApp

for like important bits of material and questions? There have been some funny buggers in there. Can you say that? Can you say that? Well, I hope we don't get ripped off the air, because Jack said funny buggers. I think we're pretty safe. There have been some troublemakers in the group,

but mostly I would say... Have you had to ban anyone? No, I haven't had to ban anybody, but I give them the silent treatment. So if they post like a photo over Weasel, say it's meant to be me, I just went right back. Oh, yeah, that'll went right back and then I won't give him an emoji or any thumbs up or anything. So you've given

well you're basically gaslighting them so you're giving all your positive love to yeah so if you've done a real comment like oh I hope there's lots of biscuits tomorrow I'll give you a thumbs up if you do a funny thing against me you'll get nothing. He's using carrot stick. Well actually, carrot, silence. Yeah, yeah. Mike, we've let Jack give a summation of what he thinks the job he's done and how good the job is done. What's your take on it from? Is there any other insights from out there?

I actually, a girl came up to me at the welcome drinks and said something to me and then I asked her to say it again on record because I thought she would say it better than me. Do you guys mind if I play it for you? Oh, man. Well, don't if you've gone to extra effort. That's the kind of thing people could expect. I didn't know we were allowed to go to extra effort. Me neither for the conference tomorrow too, just to get that out of the way up front. So this is a real customer testimonial.

Okay. So this is Vienna. Can you just say exactly what you just said to me? No, I just wanted to know who made Jack the head of the WhatsApp because every question that got asked he didn't know the answer. So it's a bit dumb, isn't it? Right. Okay, that is kind of true. While I was very active at getting back to people, a lot of the time I didn't know the

answer. Right. I actually didn't even know, when I flew in, I had to ring Mike to find out where the conference was. We've mentioned it several times, mate. Jack was like, that is a good point. Jack got a lift here from two listeners going to conference. I heard you jumped in someone's Uber.

They offered it. Unbelievable. Your whole thing's taxiductible and Jack's still weaseling for you. But he makes a very good point. Like we thought a triumph like the actual WhatsApp, but he has no idea what's going on. He doesn't know what's going on.

It's like a concierge on his first day. So everyone's come to you and you've gone, I don't know what's going on. Pretty much all of my answers started with, I think, and then what I thought. Outful format. Let's wrap this up because you obviously you've got to get to work. We've got a fine shooting to do for sure.

And we need a big night's sleep. Yeah, we can go to sleep because we've done our homework. You know what? I think my best bet is to get a good night's sleep. Get up early, hit it over breakfast. Let's go to bed. Okay, night guys. Saturday the 16th of November. The sun rose early on a beautiful RACV Royal Pines Resort.

The greens looked fast and the biscuits looked plentiful. As cover band Kingston Crumb sang songs about Bickies and Con Con to warm up the crowd. MUSIC PLAYS Backstage, amongst the keynote speakers, with just moments until they needed to cover over 100 industries in 90 minutes, the nerves were starting to become apparent.

Alright, this is a rush because hey, there has been some last minute bits put together. We've got six minutes before we go in there. Doors are open? Yep. Doors are open. People are coming in. People are coming in. Biscuit hour.

Absolutely rocking out there. All I've heard so far is people come past going, gee, there's a lot of biscuits. So many. People keep going backstage and going, I don't think they're getting us through the biscuits. And having seen the biscuits, I am not shocked. For this morning, came in before the biscuit hour open, talked to Kingston Crumb, legends. The band was playing great.

When I saw the piles of biscuits, the two Arnott's towers, I mean, the towers are no joke, those biscuit towers. Man, they've got a replenishment team. Yeah. They're like ball boys. Yeah, you're right. It's not even the full amount of socks. And then the homemade ones.

The homemade ones, I mean, so you go, Jesus, you've got to be so careful about which ones you hit first, how many you get. Sorry, guys, we've got like two minutes. No, sorry, I was just going to say, for the first time ever, once I saw all the biscuits in the flesh, or in the crumb, I went, it's possible, and I'm not saying it is true

but it's possible we have too many biscuits. They haven't had morning tea yet. They're gonna have another crack at them after the first session. I saw so many biscuits I was actually overwhelmed. Did you feel like you didn't want a biscuit? I've sent the video to my wife and my daughter lost her mind. It's like the greatest thing she's ever seen. Yeah I've never seen it. Because you don't know where to start. You don't know what to do. True or false, are there more biscuits out there than you would find in a medium to large supermarket shelf? Like if you opened all the packs?

We opened all of them easily. So just trying to give people the picture. You imagine going to the supermarket opening all the biscuits up, spilling them into the aisle, right? Then going to the bakery getting all the homemade cookies and biscuits. Sorry guys, sorry. I said, we've got like literally two minutes. And we still have more biscuits than that. Yeah. So, okay, this was meant to be in, what are we gonna say?

Everyone's got their- We're gonna do the conference. Yeah, at the top, we just, quick introduction. And then- Yep, everyone got their cue cards. Are we just gonna repeat now and go, we've got each other's backs out there? 100%.

I think, remember Remember if it is not educational this whole house of cards falls over and it's not a house of cards. And it's not a house of bricks. It's not a win and lose thing. There's no loser today. Things you don't often hear before a company does a conference. Yeah. Okay. But if needs be, I will tear you to shreds. Good luck guys. No, good luck. Hey, you got your cards?

Yeah, I've got mine. Look how many Andy has. I need a bulldog clip. How many cue cards do you think you have? I think I've got, well, over 50. Oh my god. Where do you go? Just the one?

Me? One card. That's not cue cards. That's a cue card. I got all my speeches into one card. No, come on, where are the rest? That's side Me, one card. That's not cue cards, that's cue cards. I got all my speeches into one card. No, come on, where are the rest? Side one, seminar one. See, it finishes in mega moment.

Side two is section two. You've done nothing! Ah, correction Jack, then how do I have this card in my hand that has the full list of seminars on it? You've got even small writing. Alright, we've got to go. Mate, I've also got a backup card in my back pocket in case I need to take seminars on it. It's not even small writing. All right, we've got to go. Mate, I've also got a backup card in my back pocket

in case I need to take notes. If any ideas come to me... Don't you be writing some of your seminars on stage while we're talking. No, we're talking. That's so rude to the other presenters. Have you ever seen a debate? When debates are happening, people are so against each other. Oh!

Well, thanks a lot. You just cut out an hour of prep for me. Thanks a lot, people are against each other. Oh! Well, thanks a lot. You just cut out an hour of prep for me. Thanks a lot, my so-called team. Let's see how we go. 300 biscuit-fuelled and ready-to-learn attendees waited with bated breath. It was time for CONCON 2024. Can you please welcome your keynote speakers, Andy Lee, Hamish Blake and Jack Post.

Thank you very much. Morning everyone. Thank you so much. Hello. Great turnout for session one. Yes. Who's ready to learn? Yes! Thank you, everybody. I'm so happy to be here. Our first seminar is called Mutton as Lamb. How to dress up your job to make it appear cooler. Sorry, there won't be a lot of interruptions, but quick question.

Have you rebranded boring jobs? We don't have time for questions. Question. Have you rebranded boring jobs? We don't have time for questions. This is for the government and Queensland government. Are you guys here? Woo! This bit's for you. Firstly, when asked about your job,

there's the option to lie. But if lying's not an option, there are phrases that are technically not lying that can make your job appear cooler. For instance, I can neither confirm nor deny who I work for. Let's just say it involves the government. It gives you an air of being a spy. This is another option for you.

I work in a certain government department that will remain nameless. It's shitty resources, but again, it sounds like you're part of ASIO. Thanks so much for your time. Yeah, great work, Andy. 150. 150. Shit. Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Post. CHEERING

150. 150. Oh, shit, I was a bit wrong, Jack. I'll try to keep it a little bit shorter. I'll catch up the time. You don't. Do as you... Oh, Mike, cut a few of my slides. I'll be doing my first seminar for the following industries.

Fast food, sports science, data analytics, if that's you, give us a yell. Alright, let's learn. This is you, give us a yell. Alright. Yeah, good thinking. This is called, Is Fast Food Good for Athletes? You might think yes, but the data tells a different story. And so we were underway, and Haim was even impressing early on with audio-visual presentations. Let's see what the people of Australia say about what the commonality between these three industries is. Excuse me sir, excuse me.

Yes? Hi, do you mind if I ask you a few business and educational questions about fire sprinklers, civil stormwater pipes and interpreters? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Don't you think all three industries are all about getting something through a pipe? And with interpreters you take one language and you put it through... The interpreter's like a pipe, aren't they? It makes sense now that you're saying... Let the witness a little bit.

And a spoiler alert, that's Hamish's personal assistant. It makes sense. Thank you, sir. And thank you for participating in our market research. So it makes sense. But let's not lose sight of the real issue here. Fire safety. It's not to be messed around with. Let's hit the streets and see what they think. safety it's not to be messed around with let's hit the streets and see what they think What do you think the world would be like without fire protection? We'll be dead. We'll be dead. Pretty powerful stuff what have we learned?

What have we learned? What have we learnt? What have we learnt? A lot, thank you. As the seminars rolled on, so many industries were covered. HVAC air conditioning, automotive hail repairs, fitness and travel, sugar, steelmaking and wellness, clinical psychology, military memorabilia, automotive, ice cream, four-wheel driving, and jewellery. Bridge building construction. Video games. Oil and gas. Software sales.

Digital services. Software design. Digital marketing. Web design. Home loan lending. Dental. Kids sports. Professional services.

Aerospace logistics. The real estate industry and dog grooming for a seminar called Can a Dog Buy a House in Australia? What doesn't normally happen at conferences is a stop down to complain about the graphics on the PowerPoint slides. Hey Mike. Yes. Is there like a little glitch at the top?

It's upsetting me. So I thought it was on your document. It's part of the PowerPoint template I used for the master doc. So on the title screen it's horizontal but on every other page it's vertical. Sorry about that. It looks like a cursor about to write something. Yeah. Do you think, should we do it?

I'm fine with it. It's definitely too late to change it. Well, I'm just wondering, do we cancel? Do we do a five minute biscuit break to try and get rid of it? We could take two hours and go out the back and just relearn our, you polish on stuff. Yeah. We push on. We push on. We push on.

Despite Hamish teasing a mega moment, Jack was the one starting to knock off industries left, right and centre. Alright, I'm going to do a lot of industries at once here. If you're in... LAUGHTER ..defence, manufacturing, landscaping and irrigation, the garment industry, imports and exports, or early childhood education.

Give us a yell. Yeah. This is called Know Your Tanks. If you match the right tank to the right industry, you'll be in good stead for your line of work. Firstly, we have the Army Tank. Yes. Army tanks were developed by the British during World War I and originally called land ships.

To keep their true purpose hidden, they were shipped to the front labelled as water tanks, leading to the term tank. Now for the education. That was the noise of people learning. Jacko, well done. We need more of those. No, no. There We need more of those. This is all great.

As Jack continued to sprout the facts, suspicions were starting to be raised about the origins of those facts among his fellow keynote speakers. Brazil stands tall as the largest sugar cane producer globally, harvesting over 757 million tonnes every year. Oh. Wow. Don't think about a sigh. Don't they do a lot of a sigh? I... That didn't come up on ChatGBT for me. What's that? That didn't come up on ChatGBT.

LAUGHTER This does look... Have you just printed out ChatGBT? No, no, no, no. I've got it on my own. Jack GPT? LAUGHTER Suspicions confirmed Have you just printed out ChatGPT? No, no, no, no, no, no. Jack GPT? Suspicions confirmed Jack GPT was definitely a thing. Carpentry and construction, if you're in the room, give us a yell. Alright. And if you don't have access to ChatGPT, give us a yell. You're about to learn a lot.

No, no, no, this is homemade, this one. This is called Know Your Drills. The modern cordless drill can rotate at speeds of 2,000 revolutions per minute. I did get help with that. But using technology to teach was another common theme, as Hain tried to demonstrate. That's why I've put all my effort into a 10-minute 3D animation that will take us into the future. Mike, let's have a look at the animation. It's just on the desktop. I'll just get it up. I forgot to embed it, sorry.

This should be fine. It's just under my hard work folder. Here we go. Play the animation. Oh, no. Mike? Mike? It's corrupted. Mike? Tech person at fault. Well that's you, Mike. Sorry, man. Is there any way you can get the data back?

I don't think so. It doesn't look like it. Sorry, everyone. It's all been lost permanently. Do you know what, Mike? You've had a lot on and I'm not mad at you. Thank you. Sorry, man.

Well, what have we learnt? LAUGHTER I think we've learnt... No, we've learnt... I think we've learnt that this is the 10th time in 20 years that I've seen you pull this same maneuver. 45 solid minutes of education with zero entertainment. The attendees hooked back into the mountain of biscuits and the keynote speakers regrouped in the green room

to debrief. Well. That's a conference. Yeah. That was like a conference. Jack, yours was so informative. Thank you guys. Did you use chatGPT a lot?

No, not a lot. I'm sorry. I mean, some of that stuff about, some of the stuff about facts about drills in Brazil. Is that all the just from your head? You just knew all that. No, sorry. Some is from chat GPT. Oh, I did notice.

Oh, like, yeah. Did you just generate a lot of images from chat GPT to match what you're talking about? Guys, inputting into chat GPT is just as tricky as writing something yourself because you got to ask the program to spit out the right thing. It's the horse, but you must learn how to ride the horse. Exactly. And you don't, when someone wins the Melbourne Cup,

you don't go, oh, well, the horse did a lot of work. You go, well done, Jockey. Well, the horse does win. But Jockey also gets something. Yeah, but you don't go, oh, well, that Jockey could have won on any horse. Yeah, but you definitely don't go, oh, he could have won running around against the horses. Is that still the right analogy? It gives people a sneak peek into how powerful the analogies were on stages now.

Well, and Ando, I mean, you're... Ando kicked off with a flow chart. Yeah. Yeah. You came out graph heavy and I thought all your slides were going to be like that. Yeah, my knees were absolutely knocking at that stage because I knew the first graph. And then they calmed down a lot. That was the first one I did. Yeah, you can tell because it had so much effort in it.

Yeah, you can tell, can't you? That makes me nervous about the second set of seminars. Yeah, I've got to stay focused in this session. I loaded all my good ones in seminar one as well. Is that what you've done? Oh, gosh. I have two in seminar two. I have two in session two that I haven't quite thought through.

Really? So why don't we just watch out there? Because it looked like you were making a lot of stuff up on the spot. Do you know what worked for you though, Ham? Like a trained eye, Jack and I, knew that the pensive walks and nods and the circumspect type appearance on your face looked like you were about to deliver something with gravitas and profound. But we just knew you were searching. with gravitas and profound. But we just knew you were searching. Yeah, I was just thinking. You were thinking I want something to say. Well, you guys are reading off of your cards.

I'm not. I live my cue card in my seat every time. So I'm up there flying very fast to lose going, what would someone at a conference like this say now, at a moment like this? Thank you. That's good though. It keeps gravity.

It's actually, he sounds the most like an actual TED Talk because he does these long pauses where people can reflect on what he said. And the thing about a TED Talk is it's 90% pause, 10% substance. If you cut the 10% off at the end, you still did the 90. And that's still an A.

Andy, I noticed a few times your seminars were like, you had one about pools, could we swim in something other than water? And then you showed a whole lot of things and then you said, no, water is the best at the end. We didn't actually learn anything from that. Yes, we did. It was worth the exploration.

So you're saying you can't test any other method unless it's a correct one. Okay, but I felt like we just came back to the start. Which is a really important thing for them to learn because otherwise they might go out and fill a pool with sparkling water and waste their time and money. Okay, okay. Well, I know we learned,

everyone learned something from my seminars because I always end with what have we learned. Yeah, some people, half the time people yell something out. Yeah, I've never seen it. It's up to them. I mean, I can't just stand up there and give them all the answers. I think majority of the time when you say,

what have we learned, people are, I see't just stand up there and give them all the answers. I think majority of the time when you say, what have we learned, people are... I see eyes roll up and... Because you want to get the answer right. ...and going, yeah, what the f*** have we learned? No, you want to get the answer right. And a lot of the time they're getting it right. They're shy. Yeah, which is good.

Were you hoping for more crowd participation on the What Have We Learned? No, I'm fine with that. We're getting some great answers out there of people... Because it's always interesting for me as an educator to hear what the students are learning too. So I've been doing this for such a long time that I know what the lesson is.

And as the other speakers on stage, it's interesting to hear if anybody learnt something from your seminar. Yeah, you've got about a 40% hit rate. So I reckon that's a dead up pass. If you thought the infographics were powerful, wait and see what I've got for the second session. Really? Thank goodness we've got Conrad still to bring us home though.

Conrad was up soon with the business twist on his new single, Different Kind of Love, but before that it was time to start session two. And it seemed Andy had learned Hamish's use of the dramatic pause during the break. This next seminar is called Breaking the Glass Ceiling. Can we push through stereotypes when looking for a new career and when changing jobs. This covers off vocational education, recruitment and class and glazing. As we progressed further down the list of industries, some holes in the speaker's preparation started to show through. This relates to drafting, plumbing, signage, landscape, supplies and marketing.

I'd like to share with you an incredibly personal story, if I could. My dad, some of you, if you're in the irrigation game, you might know the name Noel Blake. He was the registered director of small business Blake Irrigation. How many employees? Employee count, one, including Noel.

Sometimes two casual worker Amish Blake. When he was suspended from school. We don't know when he worked. He was paid cash and files a murky. But Dad... LAUGHTER Sorry, I'm having a personal matter. Sorry, it looked like you were thinking of something to say.

Sorry. It's really hard to discern whether you're being emotional or just basically scrambling for things to say. It's hard to weigh it up. I'm choking up. Okay, choke up. And I think I obviously have something to say because I've pulled all of those things together to talk about my father who isn't with us.

No, he's alive. He's in Melbourne. Yeah. As we know with this team from their days as the Cool Boys, when you sniff blood in the water, attack to help deflect any blame or spotlight away from you. Whose job is it to name a street after somebody famous? In Australia, the responsibility... What did Chad GPT say?

The responsibility of naming streets after famous individuals lies with local government authorities, not town planners. Local councils manage this process guided by state set geographic naming standards. When a proposal is made to honour somebody, councils often consult the community and consider if the individual has made a significant impact on the local area, state or country. I mean, look, I know I got choked up with emotion and my delivery stopped and started, but it feels like this is the first, at maximum second time you've read this. So in short... In short, this information can be found if you type this question into ChatJet.

Why don't I just give you my printed out handout and you can pass it around? Why don't I just give you my printed out handout and you can pass it around? LAUGHTER By this point, all support from the sidelines was pretty much abandoned. Wealth management, private health and furniture restoration. It's all about protecting what matters, whether it's a health fund and the future of that money.

LAUGHTER Wealth management and the future of that money, wealth management and the future of that money, or furniture, restoring it so in the future it can be worth that money. That's easy to say, but how can we demonstrate? What else will I say? Not easy to remember. That's easy to say, but it's only 15 seconds. But it's only 15 seconds and I'm glad. I'm very glad.

I'm very glad. Because I think it would be more powerful to demonstrate. Yes, that's true. LAUGHTER But everyone was still learning, even our keynote speakers. There are many buildings that may seem great architecturally, but are not possible. You've got to talk to an engineer about that.

Is this about your house? LAUGHTER It feels that way sometimes. If you're going to tax deduct your house because you gave this talk, we'll be right back after this short break. A short check with my local accountant. So in the words of Hamish Blake, what have we learnt? Well, if you're from a particular taxation organisation listening to this, use your proof. The biggest takeaway would have been that learning is just all around us

and that education and entertainment really, really don't mix. I was learning far too much to ever be entertained. It's very intense. We came ready to learn and it definitely delivered. Didn't take as many notes as I probably should have. I think they did a very good job to not entertain us at all. Just feel like my brain is overflowing with knowledge. Like, I'm ready very good job to not entertain us at all. Just feel like my brain is overflowing with knowledge, like I'm ready to get back to work on Monday, I'm prepared and I'm gonna probably be CEO by the end of the week I reckon. I think for the small investment I'm

gonna see an ROI back at least 10,000%. It's an investment in your future really. The graphics are great, especially the ones that still had the watermark on them. Sable Water Room for biscuits because they do not disappoint whatsoever. Biscuits, absolutely immaculate, perfect, 10 out of 10. The biscuits were amazing. I had my 10 biscuits that were allocated to me. Love a good Tim Tam. I prefer the premium macadamia white chocolate chip cookies.

They were, for me, the best biscuits there. Andy did an amazing job. The research, the attention to detail, the preparation. I think the preparation that Hamish put into his seminars was what really stood out to me. Jack Post really impressed me with his presentation. The way that he was able to demonstrate all of his knowledge just based off his own human thoughts and no AI whatsoever.

So I was really impressed with that. Well, I'm in the travel industry, and today I learnt that an alternative means of travel from Brisbane to Tasmania is swimming. So it's nice to know that I can now offer that to my client. The main thing I took away was that when I breed horses, I should not do cross species breeding or breed them with a whale.

I've been to a few conferences, never has it come up before, and it's so relevant. The different types of stems, that was my industry. I had been getting confused with the different types of stems, so it was really good to have mine clarified. I've learnt that using a high pressure hose or a gurney with alcohol is a really good way of rehydrating yourself. Responsibly, of course.

I'm in performing arts and I learnt to make more famous people. With my industry, I did get shown a video of Michael Jordan's best basketball dunk and that was very metaphorical to me and I did appreciate that. My industry as a sign language interpreter it was just phenomenal how they were able to really explain that to me and relate it to firefighting. Wow phenomenal. I haven't actually started using chat GPT yet so I think after Jax I will definitely start to implement it.

Be prepared to learn and that's it. And deduct it once at a maximum. My tax return will be pretty lengthy this year I reckon. There will be a few deductions, which must be very nice. So I'm looking forward to those deductions. Look, as an accountant I've learnt about so many different industries. There was just such research into every topic I think yeah check with your local accountant. So after two days of networking, drinks, golf, I mean unstructured networking and

solid educational learnings there was only one way to bring this baby home and that was with Con Con Conrad Sewell. His new single Different Kind of Love is out now but Conrad was there to present a business twist on that single called This Plan Outlined Above. Will you please make him extremely welcome Conrad Sewell everyone. Business musician. Hug it with the biscuits everybody? So good. Now I am in no way here to entertain. I have a message to deliver and it's purely educational.

How many of your latest album tracks are like pure business? It's a very business driven album. You know I just found myself after COVID really wanting to succeed in other areas of my life. And, you know, I went the business route and I was very inspired. And it just created this album and it's great to be here sharing the message and educating everyone. Well, I mean, it's not common for an artist to release their song with the first draft of lyrics and then later refine the song into

the version they meant all along. But you did it in an unorthodox way. You put it on Spotify, people loved it. But now imagine their surprise when they find out the real lyrics you meant to do that were business related. Yeah, it's just, you know, it's been an evolution, I'm sorry. You know, and I'm very proud of it. As you should be. We'll stand over here and point to appropriate slides to again emphasise how business this is. Ladies and gentlemen, what a legend, Conrad.

CHEERING Give it to me, John. Okay, final bit of learning. Soak it up. There'll be no clapping guys. And no singing along either. Thank you. Bit faster. How did we end up here with our eyes filled with tears

Can't we lead like we're young again? Only you know the sheets we've been through We survived COVID plans are back in black again You're the missing ligament of the play chain. When it drives profits down the drain. I wouldn't go changing management. We can offer more internships and you never let me forget. I wouldn't have it any other way.

Come on. Let me forget I wouldn't have it any other way Come on I know the global market As long as we're together Following this plan out line above Following this plan out line above No other to say, it Nobody does it better Oh, follow the planned outline above Following the planned outline above Oh

If you're following the planned outlined above, following the plan outlined above, oh yeah. No second verse needed. Thank you very much. That's educational. Amazing. Amazing. I don't think I've ever done anything serious with these guys. LAUGHTER

Jack might come up here. Wow, thank you so much, Con. Thank you, mate. Ladies and gentlemen, Jack, very informative speaker. Thank you. I can't wait to follow that plan out light and above. It was such a detailed plan. Technology might jump in the middle. Couple of hiccups, but he did grind.

Couple of missed files. Thank you very Technology, Mike. Jump in the middle. Couple of hiccups, but he did great. Couple of missed files. Thank you very much, everybody. That's education, baby. And, hey, I've just done the maths. Where are we with session three? I think we absolutely crammed so much in. Session three is officially Unstructured Networking.

Yay! Enjoy the weekend everybody! Thanks so much for coming, really appreciate it. That concludes the official event. Keep learning, thank you for listening, keep your receipts. Have a great time, thanks everybody. Cheers! Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.