Hamish & Andy - 2025 Ep 281 - What a relief, the Mandated Break is over!

Episode Date: March 5, 2025

Fresh from their mandated break and a ’business trip’ to the States, the boys give us the lowdown on the opening of their new pub, Old Mates, and bring you "Who Did I See?" – the New York edition! Hamish stirs up some cracker callers to upset Andy’s start to the new year, plus Jack drops a huge bombshell regarding the free golf cart he weaselled… 1. We’re publicans now, and ‘Who Did I See NY edition’ 2. Upset Andy3. Hotel poo etiquette4. How is Jack’s Golf Cart going? 

A listener production. Activate your Internet because the Hey Mission and the podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. Ahoy. Actually, Jack, I stop. Oh, no. Ahoy! Actually Jack I stopped. Oh, a change up.

I called start of the year. On the government mandate a break, which was bloody quick if I might say. That was a very fast one. Happy New Year everyone. Straight back into it. Blink and you'd missed that break. That was a fasty. Felt like a fast one to me.

But look at this. That was a fasty. Felt like a fast one to me. Um, but look at this. For everyone that's going. You can get slow ones. Yeah, I reckon, I reckon 2022 was a slow mandate of break. Cause this felt lightning quick. Anyway, we're back. Splash of water on the face. Back into podcasting.

Barely enough time to unpack your briefcase. I didn't. I didn't. I've still got the same pen. I've still got the same pens in my top pocket. Calculators on the same batteries as I was the last working year. But Ando, for people thinking, yeah, oh, this will probably just be the same old same old.

No, no, no. Change is always happening at the Hamish and Andy podcast. Will we know that Mike left? Yeah. It was a conscious uncover. Freely. Freely. Like we support him, he supports us.

Happily, sadly. He was actually really sad to leave. He was sad, yeah. He wouldn't mind me saying him, he supports us. Happily. Sadly. He was actually really sad to leave. He wouldn't mind me saying that, he was really torn about leaving. But onto better things, he's just onto other things. Very hard to be better on. There'll be an awkward moment in August when he's like, look, I've made a huge mistake, but obviously the position's been filled.

Yeah, exactly like me crawling back to Beck after my six month hiatus. Yeah. Did that happen? Is that how it happened? You had to beg to come back in the relationship. Yeah. She said no. She said yes.

That's why we're engaged. No, no. I mean, I thought there might have been a period where she also said no. No, no, there was no period. But don't think it'll be that easy, Mike. Andy got lucky. Anyway, so we don't have it'll be that easy, Mike. Andy got lucky. Anyway, so we don't have Mike anymore, but we have someone who's equally as wonderful.

Liza has just joined the team. We used to work with her back in the day. She asked me over the break, are we still doing this, say, the three things? Yeah, that was Mike's domain. That was Mike's domain. And I said, I think the guys like them. I really enjoy the three things. I think the listeners like the three things. It's a little puzzle to start the show with.

We do know it took Mike upwards of 20 hours a week. So we understand that there's a huge drain on the three things. The worst part of the three things was the moping that we would get before the show. Well, just so you know, Lysie has felt under pressure this week to make, and I said, just don't overthink it. Don't overthink it. The government mandate to break would have been the fastest for her because she would have been going, oh my God, there's only six weeks left. And I've only got one of the things. And the first thing's the easiest. You haven't correlated it to anything yet. I've only thought of Rockmellon, but I don't know what else is in the set.

So we're saying yes, Lies. So she's I'm not sure if she's I don't think she's happy about that, but she knows she's shaking her head. So we've got the same at least the show won't be completely different this year. We've still got someone that's not happy about the three things, but I can now go into what she has presented me for the first three things because we did have one just in case.

As you were, Jack. Ahoj to me, Shenzi Hamish. Okay, cool. Ahoj to me, Banzai Jack. Banzai like a tree? No, but I think it's Banzai or Banzai. Jack. Banzai? Like a tree? No, I think it's Banzai or Banzai. Banzai. Are these things that people yell at? Are these Japanese phrases?

No, and I'm Ed. Okay. Are these people that Eliza met over summer? Because we should explain to her it has to be something that everyone can get. It can't be personal to you. I did actually have to explain that to her on one of the things she sent through. It has to be like my favourite series. We are the three hyenas from the original Lion King. Oh my, I can't believe I didn't get that, we watched so much Lion King in the last six

months of my house. She's off to a flyer. She's off to a flyer. It's a three. It's a good three. That's a great one. It was undetected by us, it's obviously from a flyer. It's a three. It's a good three. It's a great one. It was undetected by us.

It's obviously from a popular franchise. And I did actually know that from one of us, which is always a good hallmark of a good one. Shinze was played by Whoopi Goldberg. I'm not sure about the others, but Haim, let's just... So the same level of detail that Mike gave about the three things as well. It is the least out one. Okay, well. Lies off to a fly. Congratulations.

That's really good. Haim, big news for us to kick off this year. People may have noticed we were over largely in New York City to try and lobby the UN to put pressure on the Australian government to shorten the government mandated break for our podcast that requires podcasters, which is us, to not perform for 12 weeks, normally in the period over Christmas and summer. For Christmas and the Australian cricket season. So unsuccessful there, which was an absolute summer. So we're asked, is it those three months specifically, or could you shift?

It seems to be. It does seem to be from the directive we're getting from the government department of podcasting. However, one of the other legitimate business, keep your receipts, reasons we were in New York for was to be there to witness the opening of the pub, Old Mates, that we each have a slice of a small- Congratulations guys. Yeah, thanks Jaco. I would say small on the, somewhere in the scale, people are like, how much do you own of this pub? I'd say, you know, small to relatively still quite small, but notable. You'd be notable.

But the kind of slice that if someone was watching their weight at chocolate cake, they go, just have a sliver. Just give me a sliver. We have a slice where, yeah, if an office birthday party is, I really shouldn't, so I just want to have a taste. But it's still a taste. You still get the, you still know exactly what kind of cake it is. It's certainly enough to know the flavor of the cake. It is open this weekend. We had a pre-opening party, which we embarrassingly sold out of beer. So we're wondering whether we're going to be allowed back in the country.

That is a bad move for a pub. Because it created some hype, Jack. I was at the back pouring pallets of beer down the drain so we could get that story out. But 170 John Street, if you're ever in New York City, we aim to be open 365 days a year, so you won't be able to miss us. And we'd love you to come down for a cold one hand. Christmas in New York. One thing we do need to cover up, obviously it's a lot of, obviously it's like full of expats,

lots of Aussies there that are traveling and great fun. And we should put in others with a slice. Ash Barty's got a slice. There's some wonderful Aussies that have a slither of the cake. Yeah, Pat Cummins got a slice, Patty Mills got a slice, Hugh Jackman's got a slice. Has everyone got a same size slice of the cake? Yes. And Mick Fanning's got a slice.

It's been fairly sliced up. Huge. Yeah. Yep. And then of course, it's actually, then there's the other guys that are actually- Yes of the cake and Mick Fanning's got a slice. It's been fairly sliced up. Huge. Yep. And then of course, it's actually, then there's the other guys. And the proper people. The proper people that actually run pubs and hotels over there. They've gone back for a second helping. They're actually doing the work.

But Jaco, the big question from so many Aussies over there, it was beautiful to see as well as having a few, I will never mention, t-shirts floating around the pub. Still available. How many t-shirts do you print? Well you put a real clasp on the momentum of selling them, mate. It's pretty hard to sell a t-shirt when you can't talk about it. So there are still some available, wonderful collectors items, a gift for any fan of the show. But it was nice to see people in the pub wearing them.

I had mine on them. So we were in those secret meetings taking up the back where everyone's lifting up their jumpers to show their t-shirts, but also the loyalty card. We had a few people on there. My one big regret was because it's obviously, it's a lot of them staff or Aussies, but they live in America and there are obviously American people behind the bar and stuff like that. They didn't, there were some teething problems

with the Hamish and Amy loyalty card. And I don't have anything to do with the operational running of the pub, but I did say to you, and I said, mate, we've got to fix this. If I can make one thing of the issue, I don't know, get a staff meeting out, get a staff memo out. This is what this card means. Anyone caught not honoring it will be thrown in the river.

And that's when I was gently guided out because there are lots of unions and stuff in America. That was great learning for me. I learned a lot about labor laws and who can and can't be thrown in the river for not accepting a card. But if you are new to the podcast, welcome. But we do have a Hamish Nanny loyalty card. It entitles you to 10% off every store worldwide. You immediately give 5% back as a goodwill gesture and the Hamish Nanny loyalty card is accepted at Old Mates, meaning that you'll get 5% off. Which is great.

Jack's pick on the SFX these days with the applause. Nice. Hey, Jacko. Here's another thing that I wanted can click on the specifics these days with the applause. Hey, Jaco. Here's another thing that I wanted to raise on the podcast. And I mean, it's kind of a, it's a bit of an awkward one, but I thought this is the best place to do it. This idea, you know, for the pub, I've been floating around, you know, a little bit Nando's sort of came to the group last year and was like, look, this is happening. There's these guys, you know, in New York, they've run great restaurants. They run cafes. They know what they're doing. This idea to run, to open an Aussie bar in New York has come up and this is the

plan and yeah, look, it does look good. And then Nando was like, you know, will you invest, you know, requires some money to invest in this and you look at the list that we just mentioned, you know, your Jackmans, your Fannings, your Bardis. It's been incredible people on that list. I felt under an enormous pressure, Jack, because on one hand I have Andy here going, come on guys, I think this is a good thing. Put some money in, put real money in.

And then on the other hand, I knew something about Andy that I don't think the others did. So I'm torn. So here I am in a quandary. I've got my best mate of 25 years, but on the other hand, some of Australia's most beloved people that they've ever produced. Do you remember a couple of years ago, we were talking on this show about what job we think we could do for one day?

Now, don't worry about what job we think we could do for one day. Now, don't worry about what else was said in that particular moment. But there was a moment that Andy popped out and I was very surprised to hear this, but this is all that was ringing through my head as Andy's like, Oh, I can't remember what he said as he's gone. And he's like, Oh, you know, Hugh Jackman's interested. You know, Mick Fanning's keen. He loves this. I was like, really?

Do I speak up? Do I speak up or do I hope Andy has changed his ways? Because when we talked about what job we thought we'd be good at, aside from podcasting, this is what Andy said. I feel like I'd feel pretty confident at the top of a pyramid scheme. I suppose like- That's your pick? I was like the top paying like everything else for my skills.

I wouldn't, I would not be able to have the upside. So ripping people off, trick people into investing. Wouldn't feel good about it. But I'm answering the question. Yeah, it's true. Actually, if you came to me and said you have a great investment opportunity, I would, I would believe you. Yeah.

Yeah. That would be the smile there from Andy was so telling. He had a little flicker of mental note. I should actually get that. I should do that. Wow. Wow. Wow.

So what am I to do, Jack? As Andy tells me like, oh yeah, Paddy Mills, he's keen. Like, I bet he has made a few. Is a year a perfect amount of time as well for him to go just put that in the back of his mind and come back around to that golf with Pat Cummins. He's like, mate, how good is this bar? You know, I mean, it was like, Oh God, if only you knew what I knew. I mean, I hope he's telling the truth here guys. So really the reason I went across was to go, okay, pretty easy for Andy to be

sending around to the group chat like, Oh, look at this, you know, we've found a location, you know, just, yeah, his brother, his brother works with computers. Pretty easy to scrub the Getty images watermark off, you know, pub under construction photos. So I really felt like I had to get boots on the ground to then turn around to Australia's most beloved people to go. I'm 98% certain Andy Lee hasn't stolen your money here. And that's the level of-

Yes, and he didn't hire 4,000 actors to come try it out. Well, we don't know, because again, that's the thing of the Ponzi scheme. It seems good at the top and everyone's like, oh, look at't know because again that's the thing of the Ponzi scheme, it seems good at the top and everyone's like oh look at all this payout that's going on. But then you go to buy a beer and there's no beer. That did worry me Jack. That did concern me, that's why it's 98%. Alright yes well people can go check out Old Mate for themselves.

Oh yeah but just give Andy plenty of warning because he's got to rush in there and quickly set dress it as a bar. Hey, the other thing that I and you have jumped in on, like to do when we're away, particularly in the USA, if we see any celebrities, we play a game called Who Did I See? And we reveal different clues and you guys normally have to guess who I saw and I tell you where I saw them in the wild and what they were doing. Or me. Let's not forget who I saw in Denmark.

I have forgotten. Oh, it's very forgettable. Bruce Springsteen's wife. That's right. Bruce Springsteen's wife. Patty Springsteen. Who is not a recognisable person. But she is when you Google her and it's exactly who I talk to in the lift. I told you that I've seen some people you've encountered with.

I also saw some people. I know. And I was so happy to see some people because usually you kind of have the, you know, you've got the lion's share. You go to LA. I didn't go to LA. I just sort of flew straight to New York. So, and we did, you know, you and I obviously hung out for a lot of the time in New York.

And I was terrified of seeing someone with you because they didn't want to waste my celebrity points with, we were together. We saw James Marsden. Yeah, we did see James Marsden. I was at the basketball, but it's still, that's still counts. So I've got two, I've got two goodies that luckily I didn't spot with you. So we're doing it to Jack, I guess. We'll do it.

Well, you don't know mine. Yep. So you can do- We just play as normal. Yeah, you don't know mine. Yep. So you can do- We just play as normal. Yeah, that's true. Two rounds. Yeah, yeah, two rounds.

But at the end, Jack, you can discern who saw the better people. And can I just ask this, is it a famous person's partner or wife? No. Or you- No, no, these are two global names that I saw. Okay. Let's play Who Did I See? Do you want to go first or do you want me to go first? You go first.

I reckon he's one of the most famous Michaels of all time. Michael Fox, Michael J Fox. Wow, he's got it! And knows him as Michael Fox and then remembered that we would know him as Michael J Fox. Well done, Jack. I would have thought Michael Jordan would have come out of your mouth first. That's what I was going for. Hence I had, in order to see him again, I'd need, in the same situation, I'd need his flux capacitor was going to be my next guess.

That's good. Do I close? Sorry? I actually watched that on the weekend. I was a little bit stumbled up there because I almost went for Jackson and then I went off, no, no, he's widely believed to be dead and I say Widely believed because um at Christmas time one of the more interesting conversations I had with my mother-in-law who I adore but who is prone to a conspiracy theory or two

Was about how she'd seen the footage of him walking out the back door of the morgue I've never even heard of that conspiracy. It's out there, baby. That's why my brain jammed a little bit because I was like, Mike Jackson, no, he's dead. I know he's not. I know he is. Some believe him not to be. Michael J.

Fox leaving a restaurant as we were arriving. We crossed paths. That is a great get. That's a restaurant as we were arriving. We crossed paths. That is a great get. And that's a great one. Huge stuff. A little bit of Blake Family trivia. Yeah, we watched Back to the Future on the weekend for the first time. Hold up.

Yeah, hold up. What a film. All three? No, well, got them excited for number one and then I was like, guys, how's this? Number two's even better. They can't believe it. And Rudy goes, is Biff in it He gets pretty prominent in number two

She really is talking a lot about beer Home with her not so much stock and Marty anyway, all right Okay Whilst beginning my career as a somewhat... Sorry, the pause sounded like... I haven't written any of these clues. I'm just trying to... I just remembered who I meant to write clues.

Whilst beginning my career as a somewhat niche reporter for the BBC, my documentaries and factual specials have... Oh, you're Lucy? beginning my career as a somewhat niche reporter for the BBC. My documentaries and factual specials are your... Louie Theroux? Louie Theroux. Well done, Ando. So, Louie Theroux on a bus. Connecting between the bus that takes the passengers from the plane to the terminal at Dallas. Oh, not a common man bus. No, no. It was pretty common, man. I think, um, I think there are nicer buses.

There's no other way to get there. Yeah. There might be a limo, but I didn't take it. Um, yeah, no, sorry. I'm on the, yeah, he was very close to me on the bus. Was he reading? No. And he-

What are you doing? He's just sort of staring. And I was like, I sort of gave him a nod. There was parts where I was sort of looking at him like, you know, nodding big fan. He was probably five or six heads from me. So we couldn't have a conversation. They're pretty packed those buses. But he seemed a little taken aback that I was nodding and looking at him.

But I am sure it was Louis Thru. Oh, this is so funny. Easily. Really? Louis Thru is a pretty big name. Michael J. Fox is a huge star. Also you definitely saw Michael J. Fox. Which adds extra points. I would be very surprised if this guy wasn't Louis Thru.

Although you do wonder why was he flying Sydney to Dallas? We don't know. Yeah, you do wonder. You do wonder. Anyway, here's my second one. He was a little south of his birth home of Canada. Will I net? Not Will I net.

Tom Green. Tom Belushi. No, I didn't get a sn. Tom Belushi. No. Mike Myers. No, I didn't get a sniff. I'm another famous Michael. Mike Myers. No.

I didn't get a sniff, but Hamish's dad would have thought my breath smells like lettuce. Justin Bieber. Wait, what's the lettuce word for it? One of my dad's weird burns to Justin Bieber. We had this. When we did the ping pong back in the day. Because Justin, I mean, God, let's see if I can remember why this happened. But for some reason, we're like, we're going to interview Justin Bieber. And they were like, he loves table tennis.

He loves table tennis. He really loves table tennis. Every show. Can you incorporate table tennis into the interview? Exactly. They're like, in every show, he plays table tennis before he goes on. He loves it. And so like, all right.

Well, my dad at the time was my stepmom's PA at a law firm and was running their intra-office table tennis championships. I was like, my dad is actually decent at table tennis. Let's get Justin versus my dad in an Australian Canadian table tennis cup. Dad had no idea who he was, kept calling him Jason Beaver. And Justin Buble at one point. Beaver came in eating Subway and just like had a lot of swagger about him and was just, you'd have to say objectively if you didn't know that was Justin Beaver, you go, this

guy looks pretty bored. And so was just chatting to dad and continued eating a foot long. And then he said, at one point he said, what we were saying, like, can we please just get some kind of rivalry going? And he said, bring it on old man. And your dad went to go and jive back and said, yeah, well, your breath smells like lettuce. More confusing than anything. It's the least smelly food.

It's a very neutral food. Saw a beaver. That's great. Where did you see him? Japanese restaurant in LA on my way to the toilet. He was at a obviously a very good round table with just his mates wearing a beanie very high on his head. I was in a tent in the car park for overflow patrons. Were you really? Yeah.

The common tent. Yeah, Bec was very disappointed. We booked the restaurant knowing it's a good one and turns out that was going to be a tent in the car park. That was going through renovations and ended up in a tent in the car park. Was it a good tent? Like a yurt? Or a...

No, no, no, no. It's not even a good tent. Could have got it from Harry's. Oh, so more like a marquee. It was just a white marquee. Yeah. Um, of which we were... But you were still allowed to use the inside toilets, you didn't have a Portalew or something. So you were allowed inside to see what better people could do.

And the prices were the same, which I would also... Sorry, you haven't applied the car park discount. Okay, let's see if Haim can knock off Justin Bieber. Okay, let's see if Haim can knock off Justin Bieber. Walking through Tribeca, a well-known, trendy neighborhood in New York City, home to both Jay-Z, Beyonce, and Robert De Niro. All three of them. Not in the same house, but that's the kind of people.

Well, Jay-Z is Beyonce, I think. Yeah, yeah, I was just saying, but Robert De Niro is not their kooky, you know, spare room guy. From what I understand, everyone's doing fine and they got their own places. Who should I see strolling along but none other than this actor? With an amazing IMDB spanning dozens and dozens of films, he's perhaps best known to this generation as a key character on Game of Thrones. Playing a Lannister, nicknamed the Imp, he is of...

Oh, Peter Dinklage! Peter Dinklage. Peter Dinklage. Game of Thrones, I mean global superstar. Yes, but it's no Bieber. It's no Bieber. And my first thought was, he does look taller off screen. Although you make him shorter, you're a Peter Dinklage? Oh my! A regular person.

Look, to me, I was like, that is dead set Peter Dinklage. But you can't deny he's He's not as short as I thought he was Really? Yeah, I mean, I don't know but it was he was his face Andy wins hands down really And I I mean it's it's been a big summer.

And if you think people have been out there 24-7, 12 weeks of mandated break, just pure pleasing you, they haven't. They haven't just been pleasing you. They've been upsetting you as well. And it's time to check in with them. 🎵 Music 🎵 Everything is neat and practical Cause that's the way he likes it But what if it wasn't? Upset Andy!

God, there's some crackers that have been coming in. There's an Upset Andy going on in my house at the moment, which you... Just on a day to day basis, you'd sympathise with Zoe. You know, if you and I were married, Ando, of which there would be some upsides. I'm not lying. I think we'd have a great time if we were married, you know, physically. What's the biggest upside? Oh, just same wavelength, like golf.

Just very relaxed. Yeah. Just super duper relaxed with calendars and stuff. Like, yeah, sure. And what do you want to do, mate? I'm just going to take off for a few days. Take five. I'm not saying it would be, you know, but if we were married,

there'd be other, obviously other issues. And I, you know, I'm very happy with the choice I've made. And so, but at the moment we're going to, in six weeks time or so, we're going to Africa. We're going to Uganda, right? As a family, big trip. To go to Uganda, you need yellow. And somehow it's fallen to me. I'm in charge of getting the family's vaccinations. Like yellow fever, you need to get into the country and I'm organizing the

visas. You would not be enjoying my updates of which kid has had what, where we're at with the visa process, lost the email, don't worry, no, I am going to talk to the travel agent tomorrow. I'm sure when we get to the airport it'll be fine. Why does he persist with you doing that? I'm going to prove myself worthy. The downside, Jack, of getting a Ugandan visa wrong is us all at an airport in Uganda with them going, you're not coming in. Yeah, because it only takes one to be wrong as well.

Yep. If it's mine that's wrong and theirs is right, I think they'll go on without me. Speaking of upset Andes and travel based, I saw a guy at the airport and one of his clasps on his bag, you know, wasn't clicking in, you know, to lock it. And I went, oh, I'll make your bags unclip. And he went, oh yeah. We didn't have a zip. Just walked off, you know, like sending it through. He was about to send it off.

Checked baggage. Checked baggage. And it just didn't have the clip. I was like, oh, man, the bags unclip. He's like, oh yeah. And he just looked at me like, oh yeah, whatever. And I almost wanted to chase it down the bag's un-clipped. And he's like, oh yeah. And he just looked at me like, oh yeah, whatever. And I almost wanted to chase it down the conveyor belt

just to clip it in. I wanted to go, hang on, it must be broken. But it didn't seem broken. It seemed like a perfectly new bag. Just seemed like he didn't care for it. And that made me and- He would have been fine. He would have been fine.

And God bless these people that are out there because we don't have time to check every class man. You know, he's got time for this kind of stuff. We're living fast and loose. John, ahoy to you. Ahoy boys and happy birthday Andy. Hope you had a good party over in New York as well.

Looked a hoot. He did. He did. Mandatory hats for everyone. Hey John, is this you or someone else that you've got 12 cent? This is someone else I work with. Okay. Are you a bit more like me, John? I this you or someone else that you've got to upset? No, this is someone else I work with. Okay. Are you a bit more like me, John?

I'm very lucky. I'm very regimented, organized. I like things in place, processed, but my colleague- I might get you to do some visas for me. You've got a bit of time. Happily. Happily. Send it through.

But no, let's just call her Izzy and this is the lady I work with. Her and her friends, whenever they go to a sporting game or a concert or something like that and there's a group of say 10 to 15 of them, one person will buy all the tickets in bulk and then instead of allocating them one by one to each person, bang, group dump all the tickets all in a group chat and then everyone kind of just is a free for all for tickets. But the first person that goes through is fine because they're fine, you know, they're fine. But the last person, he's at the gate, you know, scanning one ticket, burnt the client,

second ticket, burnt the client, all the way to the 15th. Sounds like a treat. How fun. I mean, imagine how fun you are if you find out your number 15 and you got it on the first hit. You've had a fun little win. You're like, guys, I hit a 15 to one shot before I even got in to see Bruno Mars. Hey, John, by comparison, I'm normally the one that's getting the tickets for everybody. Downloaded, saved, named, then sent individually to people. On the same, on the same. Thank you John.

Saved in a Google Drive. It's all labelled, all everything, but thank you guys. Hopefully you had a hoot out of that. Thanks John. Self wrap up. He's out. He's got stuff to do. Hey, Jordy, Jordy, he's an organised mate.

He's an organised mate, he's got stuff to do. Jordy, a boy to you. How are you boys? Very good mate. Something to upset Andy? Well, while you guys were over lobbying international governments about the fake mandated break. No, no, that's fake news. They've obviously got to you. I checked with Albo. Albo said free country, do what you want.

He has to say that. He's wrangling hard for boats at the moment, he'll say anything. But anyway, yeah, during the Mandator break. Well, back in Australia, back in Melbourne, there was a series of a couple of little heat waves and I had a wet pile of washing, I don't have a dryer. So I just took it all out in one big lump, threw it on the washing line, and it's 40 degrees and sort of UV of 11. I figured it's gonna get dry at some point.

Hang on, hang on. So in a glum. So just a big old ball, like an enormous spitball. It would have steamed the clothes on the inside. It would have been like manure. And that would have kept the outside fresh. Yeah. Did it work, Jordy? It was't have been like manure. And that would have kept the outside fresh. Did it work, Geordie? It was fresh as a daisy. And now it was like it had just been at the dry cleaners.

Yeah, I believe that. Well done. I think that people go way too far with the, got to peg it here, got to stretch it out. It's going to dry. Just the air will do its job. What a system. Taken down big clothesline. You know who Joey's saying, big peg. Pegs. The peg industry want us to think we need a hundred of them. We clearly don't. We just need the clothesline and the willingness to drop it all in one load and a 40 degree day. Think about the environment. No pegs, no plastic. Thank you, Jordan. That's disgusting. Ben. Ben. Hello, boys.

Do you think you might have something to upset me? I think you'll actually probably like this one, Andy, because I know you love efficiency and saving money. So, hey, be honest, how many minutes do you reckon Andy wastes per week measuring out half a grain of rice worth of toothpaste? Yeah, we saw when he brought it in that time a couple of years ago and said, this is how much I put on on it was microscopic. As proven by dentists, all you need.

Yeah. So mate, I reckon he'd be wasting half an hour a week. You'd still be on that same tube that we did the test two years ago. Nah, Beck's a fiend for it. She goes double. And then often this is a little insight. For some reason we've got this thing where one of us in the shower and one of us out we go, can I have a treat? This is weird. Can I have a treat? This is worse than I'm a little boy.

What's the treat? To brush your teeth. And it's the other person will put toothpaste on that and you get to brush your teeth in the shower. That's the treat. That's the treat. What a hoot. Wow. Wow, we're not bringing these things up, don't you Jack? No, it's awesome. I'm thinking of a birthday present for the dog.

That's a great one. Got a little treat for you. So Bec said the other day, can I have a treat? I put my amount of toothpaste on and gave it to her. She's like, no, no, no, no, no, that's not enough. I said, actually is. We discussed it on the podcast. Oh, no, no, that's not enough. I said, actually is we discussed the podcast. Oh, what a treat.

A treat with conditions. Just do a squash frog like everyone else. Anyway, we're getting back to the topic here. Okay, Ben, what's your toothpaste tactic? And I've got a simple solution for that exact problem where you've forgot the toothpaste in the shower. So once a month, you just squirt the entire tube of toothpaste, just along your bathroom vanity.

And just the last little bit that's left in the tube, you just put that on the little soap holder in your shower. And then twice a day, you're walking past, you're brushing your teeth. So you just take a little swipe and brush your teeth. And if you've forgotten it in the shower while it's there ready on your soap so holder I've run the numbers on this it saves you two minutes a week and so Andy at your early rate of a thousand now it's now 45 saved a year so that's 1700 net and then minus the 200 extra you're paying on toothpaste,

you're coming out 1500 a head. That's 1500 bucks, Ando, that you're missing out on per year. So what happens to the toothpaste on by day like 20? Yeah. Is it a bit dry? Oh, yeah, but that just adds to the texture of the brushing. You ever been to the dentist and they use the fine granular sort of stuff in the little... Yeah, yeah, yeah. Elevates the dental quality. That's just the old stuff. A few hairs add to the flossing. What about all the other stuff that happens in the bathroom, Mike?

Because, you know, a lot of stuff happens in there and you see those things like, you know, on TikTok and Instagram about... No, but even just like when you flush the toilet, like... Oh toilet, like aerosols that get puffed up into the air. Andy would be the only man in Australia that repackages his toothbrush into the little plastic case that it came in when he bought it each night. I only do that when I'm traveling. I say let it fly. Let it fly. One of the most audacious toothpaste tactics the world has ever seen. Guys, tell me whether you think I'm being unreasonable.

No way. Bec and I were staying at Crown in the city for a function, right? At the hotel. Ambient. And Bec was off getting ready hair and makeup. And I was watching the cricket in the city for a function, right? The hotel. Ambient. And Bec was off getting ready hair and makeup and I was watching the cricket in the room. Lovely. And I get a text from her stylist that says, are you in the room? Are you in your room?

Uh huh. All right, yes. You know, great. Because I'd like to come up and do a poo. Who wouldn't? I mean, it's a wonderful hotel. I said, no. No, you can't. Yeah, I mean, I mean, has he got access to other toilets?

Well, I said, no, you can't. He's like, I'm busting. I said, we'll go to the lobby. And he said, the lobby's public. It's like, well, a hotel room's public. Like, and a lobby, a crown, like that's, that's, it's not a public toilet on the street. It's going to be a nice toilet. They are great. They have the lobby hotel. Yeah, the lobby toilets are great there. Yeah. So he says, top notch. Or the casino floor or go to the gym. Yeah. There's plenty of options. He said, you're being unreasonable. Just let me come up and do a poo in your hotel toilet. But hotel toilets, they've got a joining door. It's like doing it in the bedroom. It's all one room, let's be honest.

It's a glass door. Smell doesn't respect a glass door. Especially if you're in the room. So I said no. And he's like- As someone that I have to schedule my hotel bowel movements so carefully, as someone when you're on holidays or whatever, so I rarely really, like I rarely would I even go in the room. No, I'm a lobby guy.

I think I've even talked about it before on the podcast. Like we were away on holidays one time and there was a gang of us, like a gang of men, husbands that we realized after breakfast every morning we were all meeting at the pool toilets. Because we knew, we knew we weren't welcome to go back to the room after having three or four Greek coffees or whatever. And we're like, oh, I know what's going on here.

We're all the same blokes that have just gone for a walk before we go back to the room. Yes. So I say no. Where are you now? He writes back, I'm in Carrie Bickmore's room. He was doing her dress styling. Yeah, right. And I said, well, do a poo in her room.

Yeah, drop one on Bickmore. Sorry, on her room. Yeah, drop one on Biggmore. Sorry, on her account. He writes, no. So I wrote back, I'll ask her and then waited 30 seconds and wrote, I've just texted her, she said yes. She said, don't be weird about it though. And just, just go in there. Don't mention it.

She'd actually like you to. Yes. I still don't know to this day whether that's happened. Well, he didn't come to you. That was the end of the text. Odds are, yeah, odds are it probably happened in her room. And he probably just gave her some kind of silent nod that's not addressing it verbally. I hope he just said, okay, you're all finished, you know, whatever, like, here's the last

zip. And then when Diddy's business came out and just quietly said to her, all done. And to this day she's like, why did he do that? Cut your message. All done. Hi, and first show back of the year. And last year, the show ended with a triumph for One Jack Post. A lot of people have been emailing us direct messages about an update on this.

But if you missed it and you're new to the show, welcome by all means. people have been emailing us direct messages about an update on this but if you missed it and you're new to the show welcome by all means but here's a little recap. I want a golf cart. Not like the one that you drive, the one that you remote. The one that you drive. The one that you drive. Jack, they're like 15 grand aren't they?

We will look into this for you. Hey Andy, it's Andrew from Club Car here. We'd love to help out with a golf cart. We'd only be able to provide one no due to expense, but hopefully you can understand that. I would be happy to accept one golf cart and for you guys to not get one. Brutal. We saw a man stab two people in the back at the same time, which is difficult, requiring

both hands. Why did we let him back there with so many knives? But he got us and he had nothing but the dreams of driving a golf cart in his eyes. Number one thing I've been asked over the break is- me too. How's Jack going with his golf cart? But club car club car and engulfing utility that came here and said yes, we'll do that for Jack. My Jack I Then text you the next day after that said hey the guys are ready to deliver it probably in the next week or so when's Convenient for you. There's a long stall hand. And then I got a text message from Jack saying, can I call you to talk about this?

So I was like, oh, is he going to ask what colour, what kind of leather that is the seat? Because where we left off, there was a boy giddy with excitement. I was so happy. Even in the face of logistical questions like, where will you keep it? You don't have a garage, let alone a carport. How will it be charged? You already run a power cord outside the window of your house to charge the Tesla. So how else could you charge such a car?

But it didn't matter because Jack, we should also point out to the, because you'd figured out this loophole, that if you live within two kilometers of a golf course, you are legally allowed to drive it. That's where it started. That's where it started from, hearing that information. We're like, well, well played, Jack. You found the loophole. You called in your one big weasel last. Well, I- You did everything right.

I called Jack and recorded the conversation. And if people are wondering how much he's been enjoying his golf cart, this might give you an idea. Jacko. Andy, how are you? Yeah, good. What's up?

I've been calling about the golf cart and thank you again for all the strings you were pulling behind the scenes. Very appreciative to know that there could be one on its way. Yes, yes, it will be arriving soon. I'm in a very, I find myself in a very difficult place. I'm so excited to have one,

but the more that I think about the practicalities of owning my own golf cart, it just doesn't make sense. That was the start of the call. I'm so sad, I can hear in my voice, I was so sad. I'm so sad. But so accepted. You know, like, I mean, you're the boss of this scenario here.

I know. You lobbied so hard and you got it. I remember after we got off air on that last show, Jack, and you were like so excited to get a golf cart. There was a moment where I said to you, when we're talking about storing it, I said, well, I think it would just come with a cover. Like you can just put a cover over it in your backyard.

Like you don't have to keep it in your house, which I think was one of the suggestions for a while. And correct me if I'm wrong, but it seemed like that was the moment where you went, hmm, a cover, and you went like a barbecue. I mean, yeah, exactly. But it's custom made for the golf cart. And then Jack said, yeah, I don't even use my barbecue

because I can't be bothered taking the cover. Yeah. It does. And I felt like maybe- It's got all that rainwater on it, and like spiders are under there. So it does deter me from using the car. Yeah, it does. It's got all that rain water on it and like spiders are under there, so it does deter me from using the barbecue. And I reckon that's where maybe the first cracks in the fantasy began. Is that a fair thing to say? Yep, yep. It was that drive home though. From the

podcast, I went from that happy at the last episode of last year and by the time I got home, I thought, So the last year, and by the time I got home, I thought, where does this live? Where does it go? Well, the conversation continued. The main ones are, I honestly don't have a garage or undercover spot to put it. So it would be about building some sort of shed or I was looking at polycarbonate online

to see if I could build some kind of lean-to on the side of my house. Every time I wanted to play golf I would have to move my regular car out of the driveway, drive the golf cart down the driveway, move the regular car back in, drive to the golf course and by that time I already could have driven to the golf course normally. True and they don't go very fast. I mean even a kilometer at 20 k's an hour it's quite like it'll be quicker to drive up. Yeah. Particularly the fact that you have to rotate. You have to call Bianca who's like managing the kids like hey darling can you just move the car for me while I grab the golf cart? Yeah, I did the test.

It added five minutes. It added five minutes. It takes two minutes to get there in the normal car and at 20 k's an hour, I got down there in seven minutes. So you drove, did you drive in your car at 20 k's an hour? Yes. Why? Please tell me you filmed that because just to see your face, even time lapse, to

see your face getting grimmer and grimmer and more and more annoyed as it went on, just to go, I've made a huge mistake here. The conversation continued. Since you offered it to me on the show, I have gone to bed every night thinking about it I so so badly want it and I'm so excited to drive it around but it just does not make sense and I can't as a true weasel-hearted man I can't fathom the fact that I've done all the weaseling I've done the hard part and now the present is coming and what am I just gonna say no to it? Is that what I'm hearing? I think I'm sending Santa back up the chimney with the present

I've looked at every which way I made a lot of phone calls a lot of Well It's okay. I think it's... I even talked to the golf course and asked them if they would like, is there somewhere I could store it on the golf course? But they don't do that. It's also better that you're not really having a golf cart, are you? It's not really your...

You have done the equivalent of a kid saying, I want a puppy for Christmas, but you don't want to take care of it. And you're finding it annoying. Exactly. And what, and kids accept the puppy and then the parents find out during the first week that they have to do all the bits and pieces.

Yes. And I guess what I'm maturely trying to do here is go, I don't think I can look after this thing. Yeah, that is mature maturity. This, this is sometimes what people think like with the robot shoes that I bought that, um, you have a cell phone. No, no, people would think, Oh, hang on a sec, but is it more annoying to charge them,

lug them around? Even though it does- Even strap them on when we did the live at Concord and it took you a good 10 minutes. No, yeah. People think it can be, it can be frustrating. You know, in the time you gain by the walking part of your life, now being accelerated to a slow jog, is that worth all the hassle? For me, it's still, yeah, that's, it makes great sense everyone. I don't remember, I gave them away. Oh, that's right. I gave them to a guy who

couldn't believe it. Then I couldn't believe I'd given them away because it was in the euphoria of the end of Konkon. And then I said, I'm lending them to you. I was like, mate, have them. And then he goes, really? I went, no, I'm lending them to you. He goes, oh, okay. I said, we'll just enjoy them over summer and then I'll get them back in a future date. Which is all your body needs. So put that down on something.

Put that down for us to follow up this year. Did you got to get them back on from him? Get them back. I actually just remembered I gave them away. Yeah. Because I said they were in my golf bag and they were so heavy. And your electronic drum kit from the guy we can't find. No, no, no.

I know his, it's Martin or Marfan's. I can't lie stuff. I need to get back. I didn't get to the bottom of that. Thank God because the golf cart would have been given away as well. It would have been. It would have been given away to someone else. And we'd be sitting here going, you know, is Eric or Edward or someone's got the golf cart.

Well, no surprises. The conversation did end up taking a turn. And I think everyone probably predicts where it's going, but this is how it turned out. Is there any chance to get like, you mentioned off air that there's these things like a golf buggy, which is a little remote controlled buggy that... Oh God, I'm hanging up on you. Can I get that to Club Cartoon, though? I don't know.

Is there anybody? All right, good to chat. Bye. Sorry. So, Jack, you're still trying to leverage it at the end into another thing. I just hated the fact that I'd done the weaseling. We'd had the agreement and now I was going to get nothing. And I've actually got, I thought of something over the summer that might be

able to work because we gave Clubcar all the like cheers and said like, thank you, thank you Clubcar, Clubcar. We mentioned it a hundred times. You're coming to the list now. No, no, I just thought maybe because my local, I thought maybe a good way to solve it. And I'm not taking the car. So they save money, but they got a whole lot of promotion for free. Yeah.

But that's just cause you fumbled the past. Would they, my local golf club has club cars. Would they do like a voucher system where I don't have to pay for a golf cart and they just give me like 10, even 10 vouchers. How much does it cost to hire a golf cart for a round of golf? $40. So you want to go to your club and go, because I said the brand name of your carts a lot on a podcast, could you now negotiate with the company that gives us the golf carts,

gives you guys the golf carts for me to ride around in them for free? No, the company, the company would issue a voucher and I would just have to give it to the golf club and they would know what it was. I wouldn't have to explain it to every- A voucher, just get money. Like what is the- Confusing vouchers. No, Jack, I've never heard anything more complicated in my life. Hi, yeah, um, my name's Jack and I actually did a summer promotion for Coca-Cola on Instagram. I know you're McDonald's, so like it wasn't, I didn't do it for McDonald's, but I have a deal with Coca-Cola where I am allowed to drink as many Cokes as I want anywhere that

sells them and I have a letter from them because I did this, yeah, it's an Instagram thing. So does that make sense? So yeah, I get up to $8 worth of Coca-Cola products per day, it could be a fan day, it could be anything I want. But is that, is that, could you, is your manager here? Because the voucher would just say, they would just scan it and it would tell it in the system. What? This system? This system doesn't exist. No. No.