Hamish & Andy - 2025 Ep 291 - ⁠The Fate of Specials Skills

Episode Date: May 14, 2025

Special Skills Judgment Day has finally arrived! Will the Special Skills prophecy be fulfilled? We discover the fate of the segment – and whether listener Lari really is the true Chosen One – as we put his skill of running on his knees to the ultimate test. Meanwhile, Hamish realised he bit off more than he could chew when taking on a cockroach infestation. And after hearing listener Christian’s million-dollar business idea, we have been absolutely flooded with “even better” pitches! 1. The Chosen One sprints to save special skills 2. Special Skills Royal Commission 3. Hamish's roach raid 4. More million-dollar ideas 

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Heymish and Andy podcast starts in 3...2... Sorry, still buffering. One! Ahoy to me flush, Hamish. Thank you. I hope we are exciting things you can do with a robotic toilet and Jack is the bidet or

the drying mode. You can flush with a normal toilet. But we could be, I mean if we're poker hands this is soft. Pretty easy. Ahoy to me bung. I've never had that in poker. Something to do with boats though. No? No. Pretty easy. Ahoiding me bung. I've never had that in poker. Something to do with boats though.

No. No. And I am the J-loop. Let's hear it. It does sound a bit like toilets. We are the elements of a cannula or an IV drip, as you would say. Yes. Took me a second.

Yes. Yeah. Yeah. The flush is a small amount of fluid that's injected into the IV drip to keep the line clear of blood and medication residual. The bung is a small cap or valve at the end. The J loop is the short extension tube shape,

a letter J that connects the IV to the cannula. Good on them. I would have thought if you had a bung that would be slang, but good on bung for being an actual medical tube. Because if they were like, we're just going to bung it in. Yeah, bung on. Maybe that's where bung comes from, like bung it in.

Is that a saying? Oh, it is a saying. Well, the bung's on a boat are the little plugs that you put in the bottom to like either stop it leaking or drain water out. They're your bung's on a boat. And you do bung those those in. And that is a small cap or valve in the boat. Yeah. Guys, we've accidentally started off with a great origin of a word. But we are here for grander things, Ando, but before we do, who's gone to the massive annoyance of going to the website. WhatsApp's not safe. Very safe.

HamishNaddy.com is where you can go and upload your audio. Chloe's done that to let us know what she's been up to. Hey guys, I just moved into a place a month or so ago and realized that there's an army of ants that loves to come out in the evening and cover my kitchen. No matter how clean I keep the kitchen, they're very persistent. So they get into the kettle and water jugs and everything. I used to tip out the water in the kettle and give it a good clean and whatnot at the start, but they just get in every day and you know you gotta save that water so now I just so the ants are in the kettle I just boil the kettle anyway and I just drink the ants.

Fast and loose. Very fast and loose and yeah I mean that's bad news for the ants but you hope the signal is getting sent but that's not the place to go. If one escapes and goes back, yeah. You should let one out every time. I mean, fast and loose, is that fast and loose or is that too much for you? Well, no, I thought you'd like it, Ando, from not wasting water because you'd have to pour the water out. And extra protein.

I'm not sure. Anyway, we've got bigger fish to fry. Today was a very important day for the show as a whole. Episode 291, something we'd done from the very beginning. And it was all placed on one young man's show, it's called Larry. Of course, I'm talking about special skills. Last week, the almost flawless system of a conclave was able to elect Larry as the chosen one to save the segment. Essentially it comes down to this. If you heard last week's conclave, you know exactly what we're

talking about. Larry says he can run faster than anyone else in the world on his knees. It's amazing. Yes, he's an able-bodied guy, but he just obviously kneels down onto his knees and goes, okay, that's my skill. And gone, I'll give Andy a 25 meter head start over 50 meters, I'll beat him. We said, okay, we took him down to an oval this morning as the chosen one. If he wins, he saves the segment. Never have the stakes been higher. Wow, okay, here we are, day of reckoning. Larry, how do you feel?

You've had a week now as the chosen one. How is it sitting? Good, good. I got my preparation in. I've been well rested. I've got my training in. I'm ready to go. Do you always go barefoot?

Oh yeah, typically. Is there an advantage to that? Feels better to be in touch with the earth, I suppose. I can feel my surface. Yeah, but your feet won't be on the surface. The knees will be. Good point. Just in case they happen to touch, because the surface, the knees will be. Good point. Bye.

Just in case they happen to touch, because the top of your foot, Yeah, it can graze the top. because it's not giving you an advantage. But I would consider that poor form if my foot did graze, I suppose. I've got a few questions about how the race is going to go down itself,

but first I kind of just want to acknowledge the moment. We are here at a usually kind of nondescript oval in the Melbourne inner city suburb of Albert Park. Whichever way this goes today, this will become historic turf. It's either the place where the chosen one has saved special skills or, no pressure, ruined it. No pressure. For everyone. What I like about your demeanour, Larry, is you're a lovely guy, but also, dare I say, Ando, hair reminiscent of another famous

chosen one from your street. Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Jesus-esque hair. Yeah, exactly. The fact that you're going to have, again, to some passers-by, they might look over and go, that's some bloody Jesus riding on his knees. Or just something like you don't have the beard.

Andy's going so fast, it might look like he's floating. Yeah, like I thought he did it on water. Hey, you can do whatever he wants. You know, whatever the conversation is, the fact that we might have a bit of that going on is great. We've paced out here, the rules of the race. It seems too unfair to me. You're doing 50 metres, Andy's only gotta do 25.

It looks so close for Andy to get to the end. Are you sure? It looks close, I'll give you that. I just, I don't know, it's your first time running. It's, this is something I've trained in, it's something I specialise in, I just... I mean, if he gets it from here... That's the words of a chosen one. This has got the makings of excitement, because I'm like, Andy's gonna get this.

Yeah, Jack on the way here said, am I conflicted? Because obviously if I win, I also... If you put a grapefruit on it then you've killed special skills. I kill special skills. Yeah. No Jack, I'm not conflicted. My want to win is too strong. You would still internally be a hero to yourself going, wow, I beat the guy that was meant to be the best in the world. And you know I like fairness. You know I'm the one. Yeah, yeah. I'm the one who...

I've got a question about running on your knees. So you said before that the soles of your feet shouldn't really touch behind you. What about any hands touching the ground? Hands never touch. Yes, no, I think for you they won't because you know what you're doing and just in my imagination your arms are going to be pumping, those little pins of yours are going to be moving to catch Andy. I'm worried about him falling forward and he falling forward. I want to ask the rules on that. Then he could be galloping.

So but I assume I'm not allowed to crawl. I don't want you to. No but I assume that's not the skill. Yes and this is what you'd never have to talk about in full leg running. It's clearly not an advantage to bend down and use your hands. But in half leg running. I think it would be against the spirit because there is a coordination aspect involved. There's a balance of being on your knees. What about this? Because Andy is new to the sport, two strikes. You're allowed a stumble and a fall and you get back up to running. But I don't want to see any use of this.

Is this an equivalent of hitting a hurdle say, well you're not out of the race because you hit a hurdle But it's gonna slow you down. Shouldn't be doing that. I think if I stumble and fall like twice within the first three meters, it's a disappointing race I just think I should never be able to use my hands to go full. Hand propulsion. Yep, great. Yep.

Rulebook. Yeah. No hand propulsion, just corrective manoeuvres, then back to running. Are you sure, Larry? Like, it's... It's so crazy. I look so close up there. You look so far away here.

I just... I don't know. I just can't imagine you knee running. I just, like, I can't... Have you tried at all? To a pace where I'm not confident. I don't know, we've been out every night this week practicing knee running, you're a bully.

Okay, okay. Well, I mean all I'm saying is, to me it looks astoundingly hard for you to win this. Yes, we will be perplexed and in awe if the chosen one pulls it off. That's why there is two eight coin coins on the line. Oh yeah. Now you're talking.

Well if you're the chosen one, I mean we can't shortchange you. Which is wild and hence I'm going to be going very hard Jack because two eight coin coins. Protect the treasury. Protect the treasury. I want to see you both give it 100%. Okay. 110. I see you both give it 100%. 110. Alright, Larry, take your mark.

Andy, you go halfway down the track and take your mark. Jack, let's go to the end. Yeah, yeah, you obviously start the bit. Don't go near that cone, we just marked out some dog poo over here. So Andy and Larry moved to their respective starting blocks and started getting into position on their knees. I don't normally do a warm-up, I'll be honest. Seeing Andy with a 25 metre head start really did emphasise how impressive this feat was

going to be if Larry could pull it off. I honestly cannot see him gaining that amount of ground. I noticed immediately that Larry, as a professional, knows what to do with himself at the start line. He was in a great position. Larry's actually side-on, like... He would start for a sprint. Have you noticed that? And Andy's like...

..facing forward. Andy's facing forward, which you would never actually see at the start of a sprint. Like, with a man two feet beside them, looking forward, it looks so strange. Larry's, he's out. He's gonna push, he's gonna push off his bike. Larry's life's actually like, as you would start a race.

Whereas Andy's like a security guard. He now has things to do. He's gonna start moving forward like a robot. So it all came down to this, the chosen one, Larry, with 50 metres of grass in front of him and history to try and save special skills and cover himself in glory. Bit nerve-racking. Bit on the line.

And the most competitive man I know, Andy, doing his darnedest to try and win at a sport he's doing for the first time. And also simultaneously ruin a treasured segment forever. Who would triumph? Let's find out. Larry, you good down there? I'm ready! Andy, you good halfway up the track? And confident. Right, like seriously confident. Yeah, I actually don't need to yell to you, you're very close. Yeah, I actually don't need to yell to you. You're very close. I'm just going to do survivor rules. When my hand drops... Yeah.

Knee racers ready! Yep. Set... Go! Oh no! Oh, they're off to racing. Oh my god, Andy looks like he's going through porridge. Andy's actually not too bad.

Oh my god, this is going to be close. Oh my god, this is... Oh my god. No, no, no. Andy's actually pretty good. Larry's just passed where Andy's left. Andy's gonna win. Andy's gonna win. No! No! Andy's gonna win. Larry's...

Special skills is over. Andy's won. Larry did pretty good. Larry was very good. Larry was very good. I would say he won by about 4 to 5 metres. Larry you were very fast but yeah, you won. Zero hate from behind.

When did you guys know it was over? Even up until the last two metres I was like, well this is going to be a miraculous win. Larry, you used to get going here. But you were very fast, Larry. Yeah. I mean, you would have killed him off a standing start. Some would say I was optimistic. Yeah, that's the problem with running.

Some would say the heat of the moment got to me and I want to be big but... We're really gambling with the entire segment there. Yeah look, that is... I also felt that I started pretty slow and then found my stride. And Larry you did fall a bit at the start. I did have a bit of a slip. Yeah, yeah I did slip. That was my first time ever doing that. Well, maybe Andy's the chosen one, and Andy has so many special skills,

our special guy, he was amongst us all along. Oh dear. Does that kind of work? If you want special skills to keep going, is that what you're saying? I think so. It'd be nice. It'd be nice. Hip hip.

Hip hip hooray. Yeah. Endy, for losing by not too much. Jesus. Oh, we'll have to have a good think about this. Thanks for coming back down there. I hadn't mentally prepared for that to happen, so yeah. We'll process this. Thank you. Thank you for having me. I believe we're not giving you two coins.

But well done on the journey and... Yeah, thanks. Thanks. And really, very impressive speed. Just not twice as fast as I did. Yeah, look. Yeah, maybe a third is fast. A third, 1.33 times as fast. Sure. Well... And some could say that's special, you know?

Yeah. We kind of relied probably a bit too heavily on you to set the distances. Yeah. And I'm just really sort of realised now we've possibly gambled away an enormous benchmark. I gave him heaps of options. I did say... We said the whole time, I'm sure you want to do this too. It seems to him too. And again, like all great specials, because the thing we can take out of this is, it felt amazing before we did it. Because imagine if they get this right. Even halfway through it felt amazing,

thinking, wow, Larry's really got a lot of ground to cover. This is going to be so special. I can't believe I get to witness this with my own eyes. And we nearly did. Well, very familiar territory. Okay. What a morning. Now, even listening back to that, I go and this doesn't come as a surprise, but like we were just talking on the way back in the car. I was not ready for Larry not to win.

No, no, any of us were. And I think what it comes down to is this, all my experience of chosen ones is through film. And they always succeed. I actually can't think of an instance where I've seen or heard of a chosen one. That does not succeed. Good point. I mean, I'm sure they exist. I'm sure before David versus Goliath, there was other people that fought Goliath and would

have been lovely for them to win too, but they got crushed. You're right. We don't know their names. We only know David because he was sort of the chosen one and he won against the odds. And you have moments in the film where the chosen one is a little down and out and doubting himself, but by the end of the whole experience, you wowed. And I thought that might have been during the race. I thought, gee, it looks like he can't win, but I know he will win.

So I wonder how he's going to do it from here, because he's only one meter from the line now. And Larry is 10. I look forward to the next one second. And remembering that I doubted Larry as he zooms past Annie, but it did not eventuate. And just for completeness, when we finished the race and we went, oh, well, bad luck, Larry, he didn't knee sprint back to the car like quicker than we've ever seen in wowers then.

He tried. Like there was no comeback. That was it. That was it. He tried his best. He absolutely tried his best. So I was sort of thinking on the way back, I'm like, I think what we need, what we have here, let's be really honest and close up front, Special Skills has now, according to the prophecy, it's dead.

Yep. So you go, okay, well, when a disaster like this happens on the show, I think it's responsible of us to, just before we let it go, call a bit of a Royal Commission to have a look at what went wrong. Because I think if you can't learn from the depth of a segment, you know, we could make the same mistake down the track in another five or six years time. So on the way back here, I was just writing a few notes down and this is of course an evolving thing.

I don't really know how Royal Commissions work. And look, bloody big two weeks for us to have a conclave and a royal commission. Yeah. It's huge. We add in a coronation and we've had three of the biggest ceremonies you can have. So top of the list and with all due absolute love and respect to how you conducted the conclave here, Jack, question one, did Jack make the right choice for the chosen one?

No, I feel the pressure on me. And because I don't know if you remember correctly, but there was a lot of issues within the conclave and I had to put my foot down and say, well, I'm going to sway the vote here and I put a lot of emphasis, all my emphasis on Larry in the knee run. Yeah. Cause he- Listen back to the conclave when you said, um, as the guy that's running it is, I

guess meant to be impartial. We guess, meant to be impartial. We never told you to be impartial. It did jump out at me as a bit funny for you to go, if I may cast my opinion as the one man in charge of this, but I have a favorite. Well, we're in a situation where we didn't know how to undo the debt lock. Just like we're in a situation here where we didn't really expect Larry to lose the race and now we're doing a Royal Commission. And I do feel...

I love finding a scapegoat as much as the next person. And that's what a Royal Commission is, I'm realizing. It's really weird as the blame line. So I will put my hand up, but Ken... I don't... I actually want to defend you on this, Jeff. Oh, because I was about to come at you. Sorry.

So before... hold that. I was about to come at Andy and go, you could have just eased off 10% in the race and let him win. How would we have known? Don't blame us and Andy for trying too hard and not throwing it. I actually had not thought of that, Jack, but I'm not going to throw a huge rocket, Andy, but I might throw a handful of gravel in his eye because yeah, now that you mentioned that some of the blame has to lie with Larry, but not of course, if you fail as a chosen one, don't be shocked if we're going to lay a bit of blame at your feet.

But Larry and some of and then all three of us, the blame here is on us as well. He was so quick to suggest half the race length as the handicap. It was a stupid amount. It was a stupid handicap. It was stupid. It was stupid. And Andy said, he said more times than we even heard there, are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?

That's why Jack, that's why when Andy was on the cause, he should have known how stupid it was. And I'm not saying Andy should ever throw it under normal circumstances, but we were under stupid circumstances. And maybe that is why he should have eased off a little bit. To quote you, how would we have known? How would we have known? I think our listeners are so good and they look into things so... I mean, all I'm saying is I think they detect, they would detect if I eased up. I mean, no one even knew to have me running was a narrow. We'd have no nothing to reference. We had a list challenge with a Pino was actually an Italian man. And

we did the right thing and I went down there in a wig. But, Anto, I think- I'll take, I'll take, I'll take 5%. We'd like you to take 40. No way. No way. Larry can take- Larry's got to take 90. Okay.

Well, so there's still five on the table. No, I think, I think Jack has to take more than me. I can take more than you. I will not take more than Larry. Because the other thing is, so not only was he not fast enough, he kept giving us an air that he would be very, very, very fast. Yeah, he was. And let's not. He was pretty fast.

You know, hang on. He was pretty fast, but he wasn't speeding on Tarless. If he was racing Andy, don't forget, if he was just racing Andy, he would have smashed him. He would have been Andy by about 20 meters. Right. He just lost. He was about five meters behind. He'd race, he ran 45 in the distance at time of the run 25. So he's very good.

It's just the handicap. He was so stupid. That's on him though. The stool, there's no handicap race in the world. Like could I run 50 meters in 10 seconds and beat Usain Bolt? Yes, I could. Yeah. That tells you that that's a bad handicap.

That is a bad handicap. And no, we didn't catch it. We were so excited. Well, no, we caught it. Andy did to be fair. We caught it, but we allowed him to carry on. You should have been smarter than him. He's 22. He's just a boy. He's just a boy. You should have been smarter, mate. You're twice his age. Yeah. But the thing is, if he had at any point gone, oh, yeah, good point. The fact that he was so adamant.

We all fell for it. We all fell for it. Yeah. Yeah. So what did we? OK. Is that what we were looking for? Yeah, I think we're looking at percentage split. What, Jack, you said you, you're happy to take some. I'll take some as well for letting it sail through.

I was so excited to see him. I didn't call it either. I think it's, I don't think, I think let's. I didn't do, I was pretty asthmatic at school. So I just put my hand up there and go, I'd never really ran that many races at school. So I don't have the experience of sprinting that I know Andy did.

I would just like. Probably he needs a little bit more responsibility than me. He's got the track experience. I don't mind where my percentage sits, but I want it to be less than Jax. Should we consider giving Hame some percentage split because- I'll take some, yeah. I was there. Okay, that's good.

Okay. Got to have some. A very small amount, but I'll take a token amount for sure. Let's go. H very small amount, but I'll take a token amount for sure. Let's go. Hame to myself five, Jack 10 and that leaves 83 for 83. I'm happy with that. And is this how a role commission works? I think so. Yeah.

Actually think about this kind of thing happening. I don't think they do the split though. I don't think they do the split though. Well, often it's within fines. It's often people lose their jobs. I mean, Larry would lose his job. He would lose. Okay, so we've got the blame proportioned. I think moving forward, you've got to go, okay, so what happens to the segment? Is it dead?

Has the segment died? I think we have, you got to go, okay, so what happens to the segment? Is it dead? Is that as the segment died? I think we have to pronounce it dead. Yeah. The last thing I'll leave the commission with. Someone might roll the stone away. Like Jesus might not have ended. I think there's a chance that if you're talking chosen ones, this does set itself up for a comeback, although now it'd have to be a real chosen, chosen.

It's got to be, do you know what? There's only one person. I reckon it'd have to be a real chosen, chosen one. It's got to be, do you know what? There's only one person. I reckon it's going to be at least a six month pause. Yeah, six month pause. It can't be. And it's gone for a long time. Even though we've got a lot of email correspondence about it, it's not going to be the guy that can do the nut

bullshit and the macarita at the same time. Because we talked about that. That is just an upper body and a lower body dance combined. So he's actually the best dancer in the world. I thought you were going to mention the person, Ender, that I think actually is the true chosen one and he's out there still. René? No.

The guy that can get undressed in under two seconds. But he doesn't want to do it. But we never heard from him again, but don't you think he's the real chosen one? And it's actually sometimes in movies, the chosen one is reticent to be the chosen one. Neo didn't want to do it in the Matrix. They wanted to give away Conclave. OK, that's that's the only thing that can bring this back. Is if the real chosen one. What was his name again, Carly?

She doesn't remember either. I think it was Liam. Liam. OK, that was Liam. Liam. Okay, that's again not something. I was gonna say Luke, so it must be Liam. Yep, you don't see that in a lot of movies where you forget the chosen one's name. But it's... Neo, Ned.

You know, guy from Dillon Tens. Guy from Dillon Tens. Looks exactly like the guy from Dillon Tens. Great, if Liam, oh, I can't keep using the name. If it's not, it's not his name. But if, yes, the guy that can undress himself in under two seconds, wasn't it? Two and a half seconds. Two and a half seconds.

If he or his partner reaches back out and says, yes, he's going to do it. It's on them. It's on them. Cause there were so many clauses. It wasn't, weren't we going to have like, he did choose you, he requested you. That's right. And you didn't want to get seen naked by many eyes. And he said, only Andy can be in the room.

Yeah. So Andy, be on call. We'll get you a pager if needs be. And as soon as he's like, I'm feeling it, I can do it. That is the new chosen one. And it might be two years before he comes out of the woodwork, but I think it's sort of got to be that. For another amazing ending.

PBT. I mean, and I know you're living a rented spot at the moment. So, I mean, it could just could be just as bad. But do you anyone here got cockroaches? You got roach problems? Any roach problems? Yeah, we've had them. Have I think it's also in Melbourne. Have you had them? Yeah. But less in Melbourne, Sydney with the temperature.

Sydney, it's just assumed that every house has cockroaches. And it's wild. It's wild in Sydney. We had a, they were building up. And I suppose they like, they just, it's just the thing of as soon as you turn on the light in the bathroom, there's one or two that just disappear. And you're like, what are you guys being up to in here?

And sometimes like, I always think, where have you gone? Cause when I look at a bathroom in particular, Oh, it's not good. You don't want to think about it. It looks, all the places to hide, all the places to hide, have your personal items. And again, we've talked about this before in the past, you just wish you could negotiate with them to go, what do you want? I'll make you a shoe box somewhere and I'll fill it daily with peanut butter. Like you will live like kings, should just stay out of the rest of the house.

But you can't, they're aggressive, they want your territory. That's where the battle lines are drawn. So it's annoying and you whack them if you can and that's just the ongoing battle. I opened the bin the other night. So we've got an island bench in the kitchen. It's light, must be nice. Pull the, draw the bin out. The bin drawer is in there. You roll it out.

And as I rolled it out, cause they don't, they're happy in the dark and they don't like the light, you pull it out, they're in the light and there's like five and so they like scurry down into the bin and I saw a few jump, like kind of run over the back of the bin. Enter like the cavity that you've slid the drawer out from, the bin drawer. And I peered back behind there in the cave that the bins live in.

And in there, the pipe for the dishwasher runs in and it goes through a hole like into the floor, like into the water. And so there's a circle cut out of the bottom of the cupboard, the podcast. And I saw two go down there. I feel like I can hang them out. Okay. To answer Andy's question, we know where the headquarters is. It's like 1030 at night, which for Zoe and I is past bedtime. So this is sort of in the

wrap up of the evening. I went, I'll just quickly murder some cockroaches here before I go to bed. Go to the laundry, get the mortaine with the long, the long, I'll just quickly murder some cockroaches before I go to bed. Yeah. Go to the laundry, get the mortaine with the long, the long, the long yellow nozzle. Yeah. The straw. Yeah. The gonzai. I was like, that's, that's the weapon for the job.

Cause I just pop the nozzle in there and I just pop it in there, honk on it for like 20 seconds. Yep. So I'm like, just absolutely leave no doubt that, um, if you're in there, I'm sorry. Yeah. This is it. Close the drawer up and I was like, I just assumed they're hidden away. They're sealed in the island bench.

Yeah. And it's not nice for them, but that'll be that. It's a tomb to them now. It's a giant stone tomb. Probably expensive one. So it's like a very nice stone tomb. Yeah. You were only the best for the deceased.

And so, you know, that's a decision that's going to, you have to, you can't scrimp on that. As I'm cleaning up the sink, I notice at the, where the island bench hits the ground, you know, it's joinery, there's a little gap between the kitchen tiles and the joinery. And a cockroach shoots out in the death rows. Because as we all know, and I have mentioned again before, one of my big gripes in pest control is fast kill is the biggest lie in the world. Yeah. No spray kills bugs fast.

Was he, was he hurt? It just sends him into death rows. Now he just zooms out like, yeah, he's dying. So he's gone. So it's okay. So it wasn't like he's escaped it. Well, yeah, he's run out. I mean, he's obviously been dealing with some things in there and they've just run out and he's just like bonks into the wall opposite and is kind of flipping around and zooming.

So he takes you off a nice squash and like, okay, one got away. Then another one shits out. Then another one shits out. So the poison is acting on them. And in their last mad dash, they all decide, okay, we're escaping. We're getting out of here. Yep. So they're shitting out. Zoe's in bed.

Like, this was the end of the night. Which is probably a good result, isn't it? Yeah, she's in bed. I'm in the kitchen with the cats. The cats sleep in the kitchen. The door, we can shut the door. They start chasing around the cockroaches. They're like, what a night.

Like, this is the greatest things ever happened to us. Gumballs are falling out of the machine. There's like 15, like by this stage, there's like a dozen zooming out. There's like new cat toys. Like, this is the greatest. Thank you so much. Like we thought we were going to bed.

This is the best. So I'm like, no, no, no, don't eat them. Cause they're trying to get them and eat them. Yeah. Oh yeah, they're poisoned. These are poison. I mean, just don't eat a cockroach anyway. House rule. House rule for everyone in the house. Don't eat a cockroach. Don't eat them. Yeah. Like these are poisoned. These are poisoned. I mean, just don't eat a cockroach anyway. House rule. House rule for everyone in the house.

Yes. Don't eat a cockroach. Don't eat a poisoned one. So I'm grabbing the cats. I have to run them upstairs to Zo and go, hey, I got a bit of a situation here. I have started something downstairs. I've started. Yeah. I've just started something. I don't know how it's going to end.

You look after the cats in the bedroom for a sec. I'll go back down to the kitchen. Lock yourself in. I thought it'd be over in 10 minutes, right? I'm getting messy. So I start whacking them as they're coming out to just and I'm whacking them, cleaning them up with like paper towel. Where's the bug assault in all of this? Yeah, bugs on the garage.

And also it could have been you've got to shoot them a few times. Bug assault is great for one. And I do enjoy that. But these are like tanks, armoured vehicles compared to a fire. You can, with the right salt, you can absolutely get through a cockroach. OK, and also you aim for the head. Anyway, but they're flying out and I'm just killing them as they come out. And it just occurs to me this might never stop.

I'm there for half an hour. I reckon over a hundred cockroach. Oh my god I'm out because just when you think it's over then like a big boy will run out and then go They've just he's been able to hold his breath the longer I hate this. I'm out of here. They're all going for these like glory runs at the end. It was Like it was it was quite scarring but at the of it, and I was down there for about an hour, I just texted someone and said, go to sleep. Put the cat somewhere else because they can't be in here tonight. No. Sort of like my favorite films, Braveheart, I've said that before.

At the end of a battle, there's that part where you're sweaty and you're looking around and battle, there's that part where you're sweaty and you're looking around and did you have that- And you're like amazed that you haven't died. There were so many of them that they could have overpowered me. Did you have that kind of feeling? No, it was more just a great, it was so quiet. I should have put some music on, but then what tune do you pick?

It's that eerie late night quietness. But if I put on, Boppy seems wrong. No, that's wrong. Peaceful seems weird. I think you had to go with- Like ACDC kind of thing, I guess you could have had like pump up tunes. I would have gone Scottish bagpipes. I killed so many that I was like, this has to be, I actually have to have won. Have they gone?

Like, this is a decisive moment in the war. I feel like I should give a press conference afterwards to be like, that has to be it. Like this is, I'll now negotiate a surrender for the rest of the cockroaches in the house. You guys can all go to Gordon and Margaret's next door. Like you can leave peacefully. I mean, nothing against Gordon and Margaret, but that's the- That's a classic evacuation point for them. That's the game. That's the game. They got to live somewhere. And then I saw one this morning. I saw one this morning. Somehow, they're still having a go.

Do you reckon they're still in that hole? Like if you were to send another nozzle in? I mean, it'd be the worst ad for whatever bug spray we've got if someone survived that. It was 20 seconds in a confined space. Keep us updated. Yeah. Healing me softly? Not the best choice. Haim, we were going to let this go.

Yeah. But... Too much correspondence. I checked with you on your side of the fence. The email's at haimishaney.com and you can email us about anything. They always get split 50-50. So we don't know each other's and we get through them. Christian's million dollar idea about hairdressers in airports, there's been a heap of correspondence. I felt semi guilty because Jack and I were trying to honor Christian's wish for people

that heard the episode a couple weeks ago. We promised him we wouldn't say. We literally said, I'm telling you guys because you won't dog me. And then he told us the idea, it's hairdressers at airports. He sent through the rough math, which did, and I have to say, I think the reason I didn't get a chance to go back to him on this off air, but for you listening, the maths he sent through sort of assumed 365 days operation, 20 hours a day, three hairdressers working

at full capacity, no breaks. And that's how you're generating, you know, a huge revenue, which is lovely. But I think any small business owner will tell you that there are ebbs and flows in foot traffic. That aside, we, Jack and I, we felt bad because like, oh, he did come to us with this thought. We kind of, you made the call, you made the call, and then I go, look, I don't, I think that's okay to just, I don't know if he has any proprietary ownership over there.

I feel a bit better when I saw all the emails because unfortunately, again, Christian, if you're listening, gosh, I got a lot on my side of the fence, I'm sure you did too, of going, not only I've seen this, I got a fair few of, I've done this. Someone was like, I used to run it. People are people who have done the same idea. They said, I opened a barber at the airport, it didn't work.

Yeah. Haircuts or Hairport were the two names of different ones that have been seen. Someone was like, I had a Just Cuts franchise. We tried an airport or they tried an airport thing for a while at Absolutely Tank. So I was like, okay, well, this doesn't feel like we've given away too much. No, we haven't scuttled the plans too badly. So for me, on my side, the emails coming in fell into three categories. One, people saying we should invest in it.

That was, I would say, three percent. Wasn't a lot. Okay, I didn't know we should invest in it. That was, I would say, 3%. Wasn't a lot. Okay, I didn't know we were doing percents. But Charlotte, she wrote in and said, I really think you should invest in Christian's balochot idea. Today, I started pet sitting for someone in Sydney and he told me he needs to leave early enough to get to mascot for a haircut before his flight. There you go.

He obviously could have done it at the airport. Now- That's the risk of just doing a one person focus group. 100% of the people we interviewed said that they would do it. Then we had, I think probably about 15% of people that have said, I have seen it. The ones you've just covered off. I've seen it or I've done it. And don't do it.

Yes. That leaves 82% of other emails which was I've got my idea and it's better It's a true million dollar idea and they just went on and on and on So we've got a bunch of them to send us voice memos just to do a pitch Ahoy gents, Jesse here. My idea is so much better and I think far more realistic for getting off the ground. It will cost significantly less to invest in and is actually achievable in a very short space of time. Plus, I will be willing to give you guys a very generous portion of the business, even you as well Jack. Guys, this is no joke, this idea, it

has not been done yet, which is so exciting, and I just know it would work. So hit me up if you're interested. And it always goes on and on and on and on and on. Ahoy, boys, I was listening to the pod recently, and I also have a million dollar idea that I cannot believe no one has done it yet. And it doesn't need that much startup cash, but we need to move quick, call me. Oh, I actually have a million dollar idea that I cannot believe no one has done it yet and it doesn't need that much startup cash but we need to move quick call me. I actually have a million

dollar idea and I reckon it can be taken internationally and I don't really want to put the idea on here because I don't want to snatch by any weasels but if you're ready to become a millionaire call me I'm happy to chat. And it always goes on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on it goes. This is it lads. This is the big one. The numero uno, the slang dunk. Richie's guaranteed billionaire business opportunity. A simple yet oh so effective idea to which you guys are the first in line to jump aboard and live the high life. Give me a buzz and we can talk turkey.

Richie was my favourite. I'm such a sucker for that kind of talk. I really want to be first in line. This is exactly why I own every ad that's served to me on Instagram. I go, well, you got me mate. I don't even know what you're selling but I'm interested. I am ready to be a millionaire or a billionaire. I mean, when someone tells you this is it, this is the big one. There is a part of my brain that goes, thank God the wait is over. So we're left with this predicament. Yeah. Are we the show? Are we the show?

They've got a whole other TV show for this. It's called Shark Tank. What was the original one? Dragon's Den. Yeah, they speak to different animal and container. So they've got a whole show for that. Are we the show for this? I know you're both enticed. I just would hate the scenario where that person then goes onto Shark Tank and they all become even more filthy rich and we were sitting here thinking we could have been there at the front of the lines like he said. Like someone in 2003 going, hey, you remember silly old Zuckerberg that we used to laugh at?

Yeah, what's he doing these days? Knock man, we should have. We should have put a hundo in when he was at the pub saying would anyone like to invest in Facebook? So yeah, you don't want to miss that. But I mean, someone said it before, someone said it in there. I think they said, this is the true million dollar idea. And I thought that little part of my brain went, that's the segment.

True million dollar idea. We're none of these pretend ones. We want the true million dollar idea. How are we going to, I mean, how? What about this? Let's get a list. Jack, I know you'd like fresh off the conclave, but is there something? We'll give Jack a list and he'll sit down to find it.

Then we get for our hour expense D3. If we got all that conclave set up, it would be easy to do another conclave. A business conclave. You want to do another conclave? I can do a billion dollar idea conclave. Million dollar conclave. Million or billion dollar conclave. Let's sit on it.

I was going to say, what if we get 25 good submissions for million dollar ideas? And then- We've got that. And then conclave them. All right, 50. What, so you want more? Jack, I mean, the thing is,

the conclave didn't work, by the way. No. I mean, you're throwing around conclave like it's the foolproof way of selecting anything from anyone. They wouldn't agree. Oh, so why are we letting them decide what we're investing in?

Like this is of anything. This should be us. What's a conclave then where I'll just choose? Like they send all the ideas to me. It's not a conclave, it's just a meeting. That's a one-shark tank, yeah. Can we do something like that? This episode's gone way too long.

We'll come back. We'll sidebar this. We'll come back. There's something in this. If we let this drift away, I just have a bad feeling. You just want the money. Just be honest with yourself. The only thing that's exciting you is money for free.

We'll come back to it.