Hamish & Andy - 2025 Ep 294 - The Relationship Bird Test

Episode Date: June 4, 2025

Hamish gives Andy and Jack some homework; an at-home test designed to act as a barometer for how healthy their relationships are! Power Moves are back in full force, and on a long road trip Andy discovered a funny fact about Hanson’s song “MMMBop”. Hamish reveals his bold attempt to dodge a red light fine, and puts a burning salsa theory to the test – is there really a difference between Doritos Hot and Medium?  1. The bird test 2. Sneezing through a red light camera 3. Power moves 4. MMMBop 5. Hot takes on hot salsa 

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hey Mission and the podcast starts in 3...2... Sorry, still buffering. One. Ahoy to me war tortle. Hamish. Ah great. Do you know what? And I'm gonna shark this from Jack. We're evolutions in Pokemon. For what evolution? From Squirtle. I've got it haven't I Jack? Yes, yes. Thank you Sunny for your two year period of being into Pokemon. You get full marks if you can tell us what Andy is then.

What's the third evolution of Squirtle? Blastoise. Sorry, I was about to give you the middle evolution of three different Pokemons. Okay, I know what they are. But well done Ham. So Squirtle is then, yeah Blastoise. And Blastoise and war turtle or something like that yeah okay I'm a hoiter jack who is a Chameleon yeah

yep so it goes Charmander, Charmileon, Charizard who cares and then I am Ivysaur yeah Bulbasaur, Ivysaur, Venusaur wonderful okay cares? But poor Radio Mike would be turning in his grave, if sadly he's died recently. Because after years and years on this podcast, and he was the biggest Pokemon fan of all time, people might remember, he probably resisted so much knowing that we would have just accused him of doing something he was into and now... He was probably at the top of his notepad everywhere, can't do that. Can't do that. Anyway anyway he's also not dead the um no that's why i said if he's shock shock died in the last you know hour or so um ahoy also to

wesley ham he went to hamishnanny.com uploaded very simply a piece of audio to tell us what he's been up to give us his thoughts he's just the evolution of child Wes. He's the middle one and then old man. Old man Wes is the final evolution. Boys, how you going? I wanted to bring something to your attention that I have a theory on and I was just wondering if Andy could speak on it. The Is Josh an arsehole segment, enjoyable. I liked it. I initially thought arsehole, arsehole, all the way arsehole. However, presenting the arguments from Hamish and Jack, I felt kind of softened it up a little bit. For me, I especially understand the whole four pounds is worth ten minutes thing. The more the story went on, the more I became suspicious that this Josh person is the equivalent of

oh, my friend likes you. In that I believe Josh might be Andy. The whole time I was thinking, this is a bit random that he just met some random dude playing golf. I know that happens. I know it does, but the other thing that made me a bit suspicious was towards the end

of the conversation when Hamish said, oh, you know, was she dressed up? Did she have her clubs? And Andy, rather than saying, oh, you know, Josh didn't say, or he, you know, he described to me what she was wearing, which would have been weird anyway, he spoke in the first person. He said, oh, no, she certainly wasn't dressed up. Maybe she was getting changed when she was getting there. Now, it's a bit suspicious. And I have a feeling that Andy is Josh. Might be a case of Hamish needing to blow this one wide open. Oh no.

Ooh, Fingal is on-horn. Yeah, look, I'll pop it on the list. I'm not Josh. I can be an arsehole. Which is exactly what a Josh would say. Do you remember what he was talking about? Most of that I didn't understand what he was talking about. It was from a few episodes ago, but you're gonna get that when it takes so long for people to upload the audio at the website. I do remember deciding whether it was an asshole or not,

but he was so specific in what he was talking about, I couldn't remember a lot of detail. He's clearly listened to it. He's listened and sat down and talked in that moment as if we've just done the end. And it has does take time to get. There's a lag. There's a lag.

There's somewhat of a lag. But people go back and listen back. That's the excitement. Decide for yourself. Yeah, decide for yourself. Is Andy Josh. Haim, you asked us to do an at-home test last night. I did Joshy, I did.

Which involved. Sorry. Which did involve us using our partners and recording them unbeknownst to them. Some partner research. People might have seen this going around. I'm sure it's not a new thing. Just happened to see it on Instagram the other day and I thought, I actually

questioned its efficacy because it's called the bird test. I think it goes by other names based on a theory of psychology that in relationships, there's always an ebb and flow of attention, right? And we were trying to get attention. And so it's called when you, when you do something and you want your partner's attention, it's called a bid for their attention. So you're like bidding for their attention and how they respond to that bid. It's meant to be like a barometer of how healthy your relationship is. Oh no. We didn't know this.

I couldn't tell you this because you'd perform up to it. I wanted just a cold, yeah, I just had to do like a cold test. Would have had to make a script. So, oh, Andrew, my Andrew, my sweet Andrew, what canst I do for you? So I just said, really simple guys, we'll all do the same thing and see how our partners react. The test is meant to be, you go, you're meant to, it's meant to be an example of something mundane, So I just said, really simple guys will all do the same thing and see how our partners react. The test is meant to be, you go, you're meant to, it's meant to be an example of something mundane and how they respond to something mundane.

Like are they interested in you? Will they show interest in something that they wouldn't normally show interest in? So you're meant to be near a window, I guess I added that bit in and go, oh wow, there's a really interesting bird outside. This is my understanding of the test. Look at that bird. Then according to sort of the data, they either go, oh, what is it? Tell me about the bird or like, oh, that's cool. And come over and be interested. And that's a good thing for your relationship. That's good because it shows that, hey, well, I'm actually over here, like putting the washing in

the piles. I'm not really interested in birds, but I will be if you are, because I care about you. I've made a whole error with mine. Okay, wait, wait, wait. Will you wait till the end? Or they go, the example I read, the article I read was a bit harsh. They go, I don't care about birds. What are you talking about? That's bad for your relationship.

Which I don't think you need to do a test for. If you're in a relationship where you go, oh, hey, I'm looking at an interesting thing and they go, I don't care about that. How dare you open your mouth? That's always a bit of a red flag. But I was like, what will our partners do? Does this test work?

Why don't I go first since I made us all do this? My era was, and remember yesterday, I sort of read it yesterday morning and I was like, we should do this on the pod tomorrow. And I was out for a lot of the day. Finding the right window was tough. I was out. The window in the day like time-wise or the right window to find the curtain? No, because Andy has over 400 windows in his house.

And sometimes the butler will kind of close up a whole room, like in the summer wing, if no one's coming until the summer. And the velvet curtains, as they get so dusty, they get taken down. Hay made his own personal aviary, so it was very easy for him to see. Imagine how interesting I had to say the bird was for it to top some of the birds that we have in that aviary. The window of time, because I know we're getting to mine but that was tricky because if sundown was coming and if you like, oh you want to see that bird in the daytime definitely.

Well in Sydney, because I'm in Sydney you guys are in Melbourne, this sunset's like almost an hour earlier so like because you're further north so I got home, I was texting Carly who's the producer I was like remind me, remind me, must record the bird thing. I did it pretty soon after getting home, but I, even as I walked into the kitchen, I was like, I've got to record the bird test. It's heavy dusk. Heavy dusk. This is how I went. I think that was cooking rice. And I had to go over to the kitchen window. I was sorry, well, I think that was cooking rice. OK. And I had to go over to the kitchen window. We got like a breakfast nook, breakfast table, and I had to lean out the window

and try and turn the phone on and leave it subtly on the ground. Yes. And my big thing was getting her across to the window as well. But as I looked out the window, I was like, I'm going to have to really sell this because it is legitimately dark. So I knew we were on shaky ground anyway, but this is how I went. Oh, wow. There's such an interesting bird outside. What's that? Yeah, there is. He's up on the like up on the pole. Why are you filming? I'm not filming.

Definitely are. Why are you filming? I'm not filming. You definitely are. Dammit. Are you interested in the birthday? It's my birthday tonight. Damn. Should have done it earlier.

So heavy dust really meant not a thought. Did she immediately come back with well that's a lie? Yeah, the first thing she said is that's a lie. Which I was like, that's a pretty accurate snapshot of our relationship. Listening back to my voice, I probably sold it with so much mayonnaise on it. You definitely decided to do the play school version. Let's have a listen just from the start again.

It was so funny. Oh, wow. There's such an interesting bird outside. Here's the PlaySchool version. That's where Andy comes in and goes, I know a song about interesting birds. Great. Anyway, yeah. So I got, that's a lie. Hard to tell with yours.

That's a lie we gave, good insight. That's me and Zo's relationship in a nutshell. If something's a little bit off, so I was like, what's up? That's a lie. I'm onto you. I've got no wiggle room. Jack.

Okay. Ours takes place at home. Bianca was actually wearing headphones, listening to something. That's tough. While doing stuff around the house. So I waved her down as if I had something very, very interesting to say.

So this is her taking her headphones off as I'm saying there's a bird outside. Hey babe, come and look at this. There's the most amazing bird outside the window. Do you want to see the most amazing bird? Why are you being weird? I'm scared. I'm not being weird. I want to show you an amazing bird. You're being weird. I want to show you a bird.

No, you're being weird. Come to the window. What is it? It flew away. I can't tell you being gay. Come to the window. What is it? It flew away. Okay. What are you doing? What's your comment on that? What did you say?

You're not very good at acting. What do you mean? I saw an amazing bird and I wanted to show you. What was it? You can't even make it up now. What are you saying? What colour was it? You can't even make it up now! What colour was it? It was a parrot. What are you doing?

I love you. I love you. Wow, the immediate response is, you're being weird and I'm scared. That one is not a great response. Jack, if I was play school, you were stranger danger. Absolutely. Come with me, I've seen the most incredible bird. Yeah. Jack, if I was play school, you were stranger danger. Yeah, absolutely. Come with me. I've seen the most incredible bird.

I should talk to someone. No, no, no, just you. Come with me to this room. I'm the example of the person you wouldn't follow. Well done though. I love that you hadn't thought through what bird it was. Well, I didn't know. I didn't really know what the test was.

So when we got to the window, I didn't know what part two was. Yeah, that's a bit confused as well. And in hindsight, maybe I could have dodged the test, so you knew what it was about. Because yeah, you were left with nowhere to go, except you knew it was a relationship test. All we were told is, all we have to do is around your partner, say, there's a bird outside the window.

And that's all the information. So we did that. I couldn't give any more. What am I doing now? Can I read this out? There's a bird outside the window. And that's all the information. So we did that. What are we doing now? Jack just threw in an I love you at the end. For good luck basically. Basically just like getting a garlic bread with your order. Who's not going to enjoy a garlic bread?

Just throw in an I love you. But he got one back which is nice. If we head to mine, I had a few competing factors. It was dusk as well, but Beck was getting home with a small window of time before she wanted to go out to Pilates. So I knew I had to try and get it in quickly because she was leaving in the next 10 minutes. Good work. And look, and I'll just say too, we all got it done earlier than we do most work for the

podcast. Even doing this at five or six o'clock at night, that's prepared for us. I'm surprised mine wasn't at two in the morning. Wake up. I heard an amazing bird outside. One error I've made, which I've realized, I said in past tense, I saw a bird today. There's not much to go with there. There's not much to go with there. That's a weak bid for attention. So there's no Beck charging to the window or anything. The other thing that becomes evident here is as soon as Beck gets home, I am normally

referred to second with salutations and the dog takes up a good three or four minutes of her talking to the dog. She's above you in the pecking order. Asking what the dog's been up to. I think mine starts with the end. I think the last 20 seconds of Bex two minutes with the dog. So I'm waiting patiently for that to finish. Before she looks to the runt of the litter to see how he is.

You should have said Henry saw a great bird today. Then Beck decides to wash her hands in the key moment where we try to hear an outcome. So that's going to damage the audio here. But also Beck then picks up the dog and is still playing with it, not really listening to me. So that's all the things in J.J. We almost don't need to listen to this, but I don't have high hopes for you getting the response of her going.

That sounds incredible, darling. I love everything you see. And if it matters to you, it matters to me. Yeah. Bezel, bezel your toast. Oh, that's so lovely. That's so nice. That's so toast! Oh, that's so lovely! That's so nice! That's so nice!

Oh, wow! Cold nose! Cold nose, little one! Yeah! Yeah! I saw a beautiful bird outside the window. Oh! Did she?

Yeah! I thought that was birds, wasn't it? What kind of bird? I don't know. I think it was a parrot maybe? Like a... A panama? It was a... well, it was just... it was certainly of a parakeet top thing Yes, I could have told you guys more about what this is about

When put on the spot took a good three to four seconds and both went with Parrot. The problem is, we've seen Amazing Bird. Sorry, I'm saying that. It was the one from Up, the animated movie. I can't say Flamingo. They're not in the local area. That would be amazing. McCaw.

We didn't know what we were trying to do. I've stitched you guys up, but that's why you both had a big freeze and both said parrot. I think it matters what Andy said there. Beck wasn't more interested in Andy than the dog. My dream would have been Beck and Bec can go into politics together last night. I remember going, that's the weirdest thing to do. He saw a parrot. Jack saw a parrot.

There's a bunch of parrots flying around. But good response, the best you could hope for from Beck. She did say what kind of bird was it. And I think she even said, that's cute. That's cute. I think you win, Andy. She tried. It's an amazing honeymoon phase, guys.

Mate, she tried. I mean, it was never as good as the dog having a cold nose, which she seemed very interested in. And I attempted something recently that I think you'll be proud of. Um, I was issued a red light camera fine. Oh, and it was turning left on a red left arrow. Yep. Was me in the car. I do remember that.

Was it a quick orange? Very quick orange. Remember I tried to. Yeah, you contested it. Yeah, short orange. Short orange. Very short orange. And I was, I know where I was, I was driving back from picking up Indian takeaway.

So just, just putting it out there in the listeners minds. Of course, I respect road rules, but you know what the pressure is like with hot takeaway. Not saying I deliberately run it. I had no recollection of doing anything wrong. But you get home at premium temperature for takeaway food. And do you know what it probably was? It was probably one of those ones where it goes red arrow and then it comes off again straight away. So you know you're always going to get the almost permanent left-hand turn. But they put the arrow there in case someone's crossing the road. So no one was there. Maybe that's how I've inched through and I was just

over. Yeah. Just over. So they show you the photo. I get the fine. It's huge too. I was on clean points. Like I had no demerit points and it's three demerit points and like 550 bucks. Did it tell you how many seconds that you... like 550 bucks. Did it tell you how many seconds that you'd... 550, whoa. Did it tell me how many seconds that you... Because I've had that before with a red light. And it tells you how far you missed a pot. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I would have been very, very, very close because my front wheel just inched over.

So I was like, I could contest it on that. And on the app, or on the website, you can go and I contest it. I go, you want to contest this? And he's like, yeah, I can test. You could get on good behavior for being so good. There's a jet, there's a drop down menu and it goes, what are you contesting it on? There's all these different options. And one of them was excellent track record.

Never hadn't never had this offense before. So I was like, I was picked that and it goes not available for this offense. I don't know. Don't put it there. Cause I thought that was the easy one. Just to get, you get, well, you kind of get one of these. And so I said, okay, other. And it was like, takes you to this page and it goes,

here's all the documents you need to supply for the, to support your claim. So what's your excuse? And I was like, I've already spent too long on this. I'm so bored. I just thought, I just thought this would be easy to go, let us off and hopefully they'll lay off. So I came up with an excuse and tell me if you can remember where I got this from.

I said, um, I was sneezing. Just in case they get snarky and review the podcast footage here to I was. Yes, exactly. You were sneezing. I was sneezing and I wrote, my wife said to me at the time, you might have gone through a red there during the sneeze, but I wasn't sure if I did. And do you remember? And I was like, yeah, I think you can make a legal claim

that you're not in control of your body while you're sneezing because at uni, we got taught it. We got taught it. You and me. Yeah. I can't remember what class that was in, but there was some lecture where they explained that someone got off something because they said they were sneezing. Yes.

And I don't remember what lecture we were in either. We weren't in uni. I've used that as a fact for the rest of my life. That was like 23 years ago. And I've always told people that's a legal fact. You know, you're not legally responsible for yourself while you're sneezing. So you can commit micro crimes during the sneeze. At the time we were talking about going into 7-Eleven and pocketing extra

as long as we're sneezing. But what is it? I don't think that now I'm interested to know if it works. Well, then it goes upload medical records, like upload all this. Like you actually can't submit the excuse without uploading files. Yeah, right. And I was just like, no, no, that's just it. I was like, my file is my store.

My this is my excuse. I was a little letter from Zoe saying he was. He was so bored. So bored. It was just too much admin. So I took a photo like camera right up against my jeans. It's like a black photo. It was just just to trick the system.

Just to go and just go upload something so I can send the form away. I go back two days ago. No, we don't accept. We don't. We don't accept. Were we wrong? I mean, we could appeal. Well, no, I'm just talking about were we wrong from university?

Like, that's what I mean. We'd have to find that lecturer and drag him in and go, he told us and they'll go, well, so are you saying you were sneezing? Or are you just saying you thought it was an excuse? No, I was sneezing. And again, to be really clear, if they're listening to this, because at the end you have to say, like, I'm not lying. It's so in-depth, David. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that's why I'm saying I was sneezing. Shame it didn't work.

Hey, it's been a little while since we've done this, but they keep flooding in. For a while there, we still remain it. but they keep flooding in for a while there. We still remain it. The show that you should come to if you want to get a superior advantage in social situations through listening to power moves. Submissions keep coming in, so let's jump into it. Want me to kick it off?

Go for it, Ander. From Reese, got a power move for you. Interesting to see if this actually would work, but sometimes... I love those ones. And remember, it's okay if it's very niche. Sometimes it might only work for one person. It's a wedding power move. Great.

Mid-ceremony power move. Great. When someone's getting married and they're up at the altar, wait for them to look at you and then do a fake yawn. Hopefully they catch your yawn. Making their spouse and the rest of the wedding guests think that they're uninterested in the nuptials. That is big money. If you can do that and get the groom to yawn on vid.

Because that's making the wedding video. That's huge. I love that one. And a very simple one here from Mitch. Tell me if you guys pick a target, pick a bloke that has a full head of hair. Now he doesn't say this, but I reckon this would work well in the, let's say, 35 to 45 year old male range. When you're in a group, ask them what they would give or pay to have a full head of hair again.

They will be left scrambling trying to explain they still have all their hair. I like it. It's from Troy. left scrambling trying to explain they still have all their hair. I like it. It's from Troy. Go up to a stranger and say, Hi, my friend set me up for a blind date. Is it you? When they reply no, say thank God. Yeah, well, interview completely out of things to do in the day. This comes in from Lily. It's sometimes we get these two, like it's recording of how it happened to her in the wild.

She said, I just ordered a bakery item in a drive-through. I don't know if that's a drive-through bakery or a chain that offers bakery items, perhaps like early morning. And it was given to me frozen. When I asked the cashier, what am I supposed to do with this? He just said, wait and close the window. It's time we'll fix that. Thanks for the frozen croissant.

What a deluxe Parisian breakfast. Again, I'm not sure if this works. This is from Sam from New Zealand. Sam Cam. G'day boys. I had this happen to me the other day at the pub and it was effective. So, he's got to wait. Find a sports bar where there's a TV on the wall.

And sit underneath it. Wait until the big game is on. And then just sit there watching everybody Find a sports bar where there's a TV on the wall and sit underneath it. Wait until the big game is on and then just sit there watching everybody watch the TV. Proceed to stare at everybody. It'll distract them and put them off their important match. Mate, ballsy, the reverse watch. I think it probably would work, wouldn't it? Yeah. Especially if you're not threatening about it.

If you're just pleasant. If I was in the pub and a guy sat directly under the TV that I was watching the whole day. You'd absolutely put your hand up to cut him out. Yeah. Well, it's the whole reason, you know, like butterflies have like fake eyes on their, on the back of their wings or whatever. Yes. Because like the thought of being looked at is just off-putting. People don't like being looked at.

All right. Quick one for Max here. Um, he's, he's coming, he's coming up through the podcast. He said, brothers have just recently got me into the podcast. He's just yet episode a hundred. So we'll be a while till he hears himself in the pod, but Max you've made it. And welcome. Congrats on the catch up.

It's done. If you're still doing power moves. Yes, we are. I think you need to hear this one. It was done to me a little while ago. It's still living in my head rent free. I'm driving on a country highway. And this is a very simple one, Ando.

But it's effective. I'm driving on a country highway and a fellow youth was coming towards me. You're like, all right, here we go. Two youth owners, maybe even the same model. You know, there's that thing we call it. Oh, we have the same model. You know, there's that thing. Yeah, you give each other the same car. I go for the wave, but I get hit with a solid middle finger in return. Never met the bloke, but I can't stop thinking about it.

That is such an asshole move. Guys I was driving along with Beck in the car and she nominated herself as car DJ. Do you guys ever get a chance to DJ in the car if your partner's in there? Yeah I think it's just whoever the passenger is. Really? I'm never the DJ. No. Kids overrule me.

Yep. I was telling you before, Jack, about the play. I had to listen to two hours of- Of that cat. Longo cat. Yeah. Longo cat. Who just sings popular songs, but with meow.

So like- Oh my gosh. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. That's a long car ride. It's a long car ride. It's a bloody long playlist. And about... Well, because they can't do every song ever made.

Yeah. I think it's a program. Yeah. Half, I sort of five or six bangers in, I went, I think, I don't think this is someone singing meow and then putting a filter over it. I think they've created like a button and you just feed the song in and it's a filter. That just does it. Oh yeah, that's endless.

But I just sort of give up. I've stopped trying to fight in the car. And then if Zo's in there, yeah, she's the family DJ. House music, car music. Yeah. My musical muscles have completely atrophied. They've no... You never... I didn't even know what I like anymore.

I don't get a chance really. I have like one album I listen to in the garage while I'm exercising and it's just one, the same playlist every single time. And the rest of the time I don't know, I don't know about any other music. Beck will occasionally go to me, what have you put on what you want? Right? And I'll put it on. That would terrify me because I'm like, I don't know. Fine, Bongo Cat.

And she immediately goes, no, no, no, that's not the mood for this trip. And I was like, oh, sorry. And she's like, you know, I'll put Bonnevere on. She's too droopy, too sad, you know, we're going to be here. And I'm like, okay, well, you take over. But then on another day she puts on Bonneville and I'm thinking, hang on, this is the same car ride. We're going down the beach and this is the move.

But anyway, she regains control very quickly. She chose to put on Natasha Beddingfield's Unwritten. Do you know that song? Uh, no, to be a hundred percent honest, I thought that was a news reporter. that song? No, to be 100% honest, I thought that was a news reporter. Natasha Belling, I think you're thinking of. That's what I'm thinking of. Yes, you know this song.

You know this song. It was a really, really famous one back in the day and she's chose it for radio. So she's obviously wanting like 90s soft pop bangers. Gotcha. So this was a 90s song? Yeah. I do know this song. You know this song. Anyway, so she's going with that one. Just.

I don't say it like, yeah, I don't really know it, but I have heard it. You would not want to hit the hook. Anyway, we're not going to get there, Jay. She says it fits the mood. We might have time. I think I can play just the hook here. Oh god, we don't. Yes, yeah, okay. It must, all the girls outside here have just started dance. I think it must be right in

that wheelhouse. You could have given me 10,000 shots to name the title of that song and I would not call it unwritten. Oh there it is, it's in the song. Alright, I'm downgrading it to 50 shots. I think by the 50th I would have gone, okay, let's just calm down, listen to the song carefully, is there a word we're missing in here? And I would have got it within 50. But before, before I heard it. Moments later, cause it was unwritten radio, obviously Spotify players, suddenly we get served Umbop.

Yeah. Right? By Hanson. You can see the, you can see the link. I said to her, to Bec, Hey, should we to Beck, hey, should we skip Umbop? Are you driving? Yeah, I'm driving. So you can use the steering wheel control.

I could have, but I just wanted to ask. Respect the DJ. She said, no, I'm loving it. I said, why? She goes, she said, I saw them live like last year when they came out and they played it four times. I bet they did. Obviously that's the part where I couldn't believe it.

So I heard that at the time. Yeah, that rings a bell because... How is that discussion going? It made, well, it just made me remember when we bought Frank Stallone out. Yes, and as a joke, we made him play it four times. We made him sign a contract that he had this power ballad far from over. We're like, right, you're opening with it. You're playing it in the middle just in case the energy drags. You're closing with it and you're coming back out and you can do one.

You can play it once or twice as your encore. Yes. So it was about four or five. And that would have been, I assume, the pattern that. And that felt ridiculous on the night, even though it was about four or five. And that would have been, I assume, the pattern that the... And that felt ridiculous on the night. Even though it was the only song we really knew of his, it felt ridiculous to play it four times. I reckon by the third time it was getting old, and then as it came back up, it started getting funny again.

So who do you think... Do you reckon it was the band? Like, are they discussing their own set list? Or is someone coming in, like a manager coming in in and going, give us a little set list? We just did a bit of market research. You're not going to love what's come back, but here's the ideal set list based on suggestions and you've got to play it four times. Because we were trying to not break the rule, you don't want to play it back to back. So I assume they would have gone the same. Did she tell you what order they played it in?

Yeah. I think they did what, I don't know. I didn't ask her this, but I think they did what we did, which was finish with it and then on with it. So they would have had one back to back. Wow. That's a lot. Four is too much. The funny thing is that most bands, like if I go and see like Pearl Jam last year, so excited, they came out, they start with quarter round like, ooh, okay. They're not, I thought they'd hold onto that one. But they have a lot, they have a lot up their sleeve.

They got a lot of songs. Most bands abide by the rule that it's once and once only, don't they, so you're left guessing. Yeah, they wouldn't have even played them up once, I wouldn't have thought, Pearl Jam. No, so- That's how good they are. So when you unlock getting to play the song again, that must be a strange feeling for the band.

Yeah, because even though it's played, the audience still has an anticipation of, well, it could be played again. We're known for double, triple dipping. We'll continue. So I'd imagine it started out with, should we play this twice? Yep. How long before someone's... They loved it at the point...

Drew Zeman wrote Rogue, the singer went, all right, thanks guys. Do you want it again? And the band's like, oh my God, we do it three times. Yes. And then it just, they got carried away from there. I wonder if they've ever gone... So this was in Melbourne, obviously, and they've done it four times. Have they ever gone five or six and they've gone, that is too much. We defined the ceiling.

So, going to a restaurant and, you know, if it's a set menu, they're like, now we know you've had the chicken and sweet corn soup, but we're going to do it again. Oh, okay. We've already had it twice. Who doesn't like chicken and sweet corn soup? I love it. And for dessert? No. Chicken and sweet corn soup, baby. Four soups.

Four of the same soup. Well look me in the eyes and tell me you don't like this soup. You said you liked it. It's a great soup. It's the king of soups. Give it to us. Guys, as you know, I take my role of blowing stuff, things wide open, very seriously. Well, you haven't blown stuff for a long time.

That's right, I'm just taking it so seriously. I won't just blow up things willy-nilly. I thought I only believed you were serious about something, you're into it all the time. When was the last time you think you blew something wide open? No, I think it's different. I think if you're so serious about something that what you might be thinking, if you are frivolous about something. No, no, no. I'm thinking if you were seriously into it. I'm seriously into golf.

I play golf all the time. All the time. You don't go, I'm seriously into golf. When was your last round? I wait. Three years ago. I make sure conditions are correct. I can see your point.

I can see your point. But I had a case come across my table. This is from Tom Rodman. And it's not quite a blow to something wide open. There's no way he's got the opener ready. I don't even know. Jack goes to anything with this bit and I said no. So I actually wasn't quite paying attention when he asked.

I asked three times. But you know what? Because we don't know. I don't have it. I don't want it. We don't know if we're buying something open yet. Okay. So this is a, this is how serious I take it. This is a possible pre-blow scenario. It's a theory that's floating around that I want us to test today. Yep. So this just comes in from Tom Rodman. He goes, I thought I should take a look at this test if it's true or not. Diabolical if true. And just a link to a Reddit thing. This has been going around, I see on Reddit for a week or two now. So people might have seen this around. It's a theory about the beloved Doritos corn chip,

but salsa sauce. So more of the Doritos sauce. The theory is that obviously much like many of the other big hitters in the salsa category, your old El Paso, et cetera, they have both a mild, medium and a hot offering. Well, Jack said that once about Old El Paso. Old El Paso, and I was talking about the sachets of taco mix. And I didn't think that they had a three heat taco mix. And eventually they did bring one out. Do you know why? I think it was it because of this podcast.

It's because of you, Jim. We do a lot of the... We've covered Old El Paso very heavily in the past and they've held up to scrutiny. But I'm talking about the seltzer in the jar. Now, Old El Paso used the same system as Doritos. Don't know who came up with it first. Green for mild, yellow for medium, red for hot. There are...

You can get some extra hots, but we're talking about the main three here. The traffic light system, basically. No problems, some problems, all problems. Okay, so the theory on Reddit is going around that medium salsa, for people that love very spicy, that medium salsa is hotter than hot. And of course no one notices because if you enjoy hot, you only buy hot.

You never go, oh, I better just get the other two to gauge it. You wouldn't know that it's hiding in plain sight right next to the hot. Anyway, a couple of other people have jumped on and gone, I've tasted this before, I have noticed. I thought the only way to handle this properly is to do the experiment. That's why I've got this silver briefcase here. Well done. Thank you. See, some of us can be organized, Mr. No-Opener.

And inside- I just wouldn't have been shocked if you said, so next week on the show, why don't we get some salsas in? Inside we have, and I tell you what, and this killed me, but I've gone original salted Doritos. I think you have to. You have to because you're tasting salted. Do you know how difficult it was

to not get like double cheese, nacho cheese? Or even if I'm being honest and again, hashtag not spawn, the mission nacho cheese. That's unbelievable. Anyway, we've gone plain to do the right thing. I think the best way to do this is... Are CCs still a thing? CCs, yeah.

Yeah, CCs are still there. Yep. So you can say no to them. You didn't mention them in your list of... I easily said no. I walked straight past them. I could have, I probably should have got a different brand of corn chip to show that we're bipartisan on the show and not just trying to make this a Doritos promotion.

And this could come out looking terrible for Doritos too. So I think the best way to do this, having just thought about it now. Even though you bought the whole cake. I'll be honest. You made your big reveal. I'll be honest. I was standing above everybody else to say how organised and ready you were. All fair.

I had got so proud of myself for bringing this stuff in and hadn't quite thought through then how we do the next bit of the experiment. Shouldn't be difficult though. I think like a communion, I think you step forward. All right. Receive your chip. Receive the chip and you'll obviously be three, but I'll mix up the order and you tell me. Oh, okay. So we're not just going to take one and go that's- I think it has to be blind to be blind blind. Okay, that's interesting. Sorry just Scientifically, I think it has to be blind because otherwise you could be influenced. Yep. So I need the most mild one there What do we need the most mild one? Should we just do medium and hot? Yeah

I'll have mild. You just like mild. Come on. What does that prove about the test? I don't know. It doesn't all have to be fine. Some of it can be enjoyable. Okay, so we're going to put... You're right. You're right.

We didn't need mild. Well don't open it. I'm opening red. From now on, you're just the lab rat, enough feedback. So are you opening the hot one? Yes but you won't know what it is when you come and eat it. Okay. So I'll do it in an order but you won't know the order. Okay. Okay. I'm sure you don't want mild in the middle to cleanse the palate. No, I should take a glass of water to cleanse the pallet? No, should take a glass of water to cleanse the pallet before.

Sure, also a good idea. Okay, so. So am I stepping forward? Yes, and that's why I'm gonna put the seltzer here, it's obscured from view. It is, it's working well. You've got it behind your big silver briefcase. The seltzers are inside the briefcase.

That's right. You'll reach in, you'll get a chip, I'll walk forward to you. You just stand over here so you never see. And Jack, don't, try not to see. No, no, no, no, I can't see. What side I'm doing. Yeah.

Hamish is now going in. Looks like he's applying salsa to a chip. Am I gonna receive two chips or one? First, this is your first chip. There you go, please enjoy. He's eating. And is he having a guess now or is he just thinking until he's until... I'll do this first.

So we've got the sound effect. Okay, so I've had either the hot or the medium. Yep. Let me have a quick squeeze of water. Yep, great. I almost forgot which one I'd given him. That one I have remembered. This is the other one.

That one's slightly harder. Okay, Jack we'd better get you as well. You go around any side. You need to write down the results? I can remember one thing. I'll just have a quick medium. Okay, Jack. Hamish has reached in for chip. You know the corn chips that we get at our house are like a, not a famous brand, but like a supermarket does their own brand and they're actually circular chips and I just realized it's Bianca's

been buying them but probably why I like them is no corners like on a Dorito. Oh you worried about the sharpness? Like a table run. Careful. Okay that's the control. That's either medium or hot. May I have some of this water? You may. Careful, careful, the... The aim... The glass isn't too sharp.

Have you got the other one ready? This is the other one. Same order as me? No. Okay. Or maybe. Second one is hotter. The second one I ate was hotter.

Jack, you said hot was the hottest in accordance with Doritos brand marketing. Andy, you said medium was the hottest. Really? Interesting. Giving us inconclusive, yet interesting. Yeah. Did you see, do you feel it was like definitely different? Only a tiny, tiny little bit hotter. Is that, are you eating another mild or are you? Yeah. Okay.

So is the experiment over? I guess, I guess we're not. No, no, that when I said before, inconclusive, but interesting. That was it. Like that's why I said it sort of in a bold voice. Is that bold, was it? Inconclusive, but interesting. That's why we're not blowing it wide open.

Full stop. No more to be said. Well, interesting. You've, they're very close to each other. They're very close. I'll say that. I'll say that. I'll say that. I'll say that. I'll say that very close to each other. Yeah. Yeah. They're probably too close to each other. I was actually about to say the first one I ate was hotter. And then

just as I left it a couple more seconds in my mouth, it got spicier. So this, if our feedback is anything, it's like guys, you've got make a bigger, you've got three models here, like one, you've got three cars, one goes zero kilometres an hour, and your other two models have top speeds of 195 and 200. So could you do a middle car? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. Having said that, the zero is delicious. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at hamishandandy.com.