Hamish & Andy - 2025 Ep 299 - The Jingle Joust

Episode Date: July 9, 2025

Jack and his golf cart have been spotted in the wild! Hamish confesses his guilty sneezing habit, and the boys take on the dying art of company jingles in a “Jingle Joust!”. We go deep inside the Tallest Hat Dream Team WhatsApp for a very important brim-related discussion, and love is making Andy do strange things! 1. Jack In The Wild 2. Letting a sneeze off the chain 3. Jingle Joust 4. A tall swagman’s hat? 5. Partner requests 

A listener production. Activate your Internet because the Hey Mission and the podcast starts in three. To. Sorry, still buffering. Ahoy to me, Stuart. Hamish. Hello. Please be famous, Alphs.

No. Ahoy to me, Bob. Oh, Bob Stuart. Bob Stuart is where I used to get my school uniform from. Ha ha ha. But that won't be it. Yeah, that's not it. And I'm Andy and I'm simply the full stop after Bob Stewart.

And I'll be Kevin. Who was I again? Stewart. Stewart, Bob and Kevin. Were we all in Jebediah, the Australian band? Are we all prime ministers? No. Apparently we are...

Stewart's a friend of mine. We're apparently the three main minions. Ah, yeah. Have you ever seen the minions? I have seen a bit of minions, yeah. Kevin, Kevin comes up a bit. Bob, yeah, there's a bit of Bob in there. When you've thrown Stewart in.

You guys don't like this one, do you? It's good. It'll resonate with a certain type of Despicable Me fan. Huge franchise. I get it. I don't remember them using each other's names. Gru does yeah. They don't speak much.

Gru does a bit of like, you know, come on Bob. You're better than that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We doesn't say that. That's what we're saying to L lies with regards to these three things. I reckon what's happened with lies is we all, you know, there's a lot of celebration over, you know, there was a there was a Pokemon one. Yeah. And then there was another animation based one, wasn't there?

Wasn't there? Are we saying none of that anymore? Well, I think she's just gone, oh, let's just pick popular culture. The other one was the hyenas from Lion King. That's it, the hyenas. She's gone cartoon crazy. She thinks she's fair. I'm actually going to call her, I'm going to kibosh this loophole that she's using. She's actually just disappointed outside the studio here with a darn it type fist stamp on it.

Yeah, like we're onto you. And we can't just keep doing this to go, oh, you know, pupper, clumsy, and some other smurf. Like we just don't, we're better than that. We want the, I don't think there's a clumsy smurf. We want the brain stretch.

Don't we want the brain stretch? Wasn't one like types of katana swords or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's learn a little bit about the world. No, we'll improve them. Ahoy also to Jamie, who's in the US, who used the very easy to use system at hamishandy.com, much better than WhatsApp.

Tell us what she's been up to. No, it's not. Hey Hamish, Andy and the Weasel. I have a message for the Berg boys. Berg boys. For about a year in the 70s, the government paid my grandfather to break into planes, and if he could get in,

he'd leave his business card in the cockpit. When the pilot found it in the morning, they knew who to call to get their security system in order. I think I have to go on record and say my grandfather wasn't a criminal but if you're thieving to test a security system you're not only entitled to leave a calling card it's the responsible thing to do. Sick. We haven't been talking about Berg Boys but we are working on it behind the scenes. That's all I'm going to say about that. We don't want anyone to pick up on what we're doing. But again, I knew this job existed. It's died out. Or maybe it hasn't died out. But I mean, we just bring it back for one time only. Are we going to leave a calling card?

100%. Can I please be in charge of the calling card? You can absolutely be in charge of the calling card. in charge of the calling guard. Good boys. Heyne, people often write in at heymeshaneity.com and say that they've seen Jack in the wild. Yeah. Or you, unfortunately. Or me, yes. Pushing past them at a smoke mark, some other disappointing examples of behavior.

And I think since Jack has recently become unemployed, I'm out and about more. You were asking me out and about. Far more wild time. Yeah. Far more about more. You were out and about. Far more wild time. Yeah. Far more wild time. Which leads me to a brand new segment. A fascinating creature is the Jack Post. But I'm just a little boy.

Often wandering aimlessly in the wilderness, he presents himself as having a lack of purpose. I actually didn't listen again. But don't be fooled. He is a sophisticated animal. And it's very exciting to see. Jack in the Wild. It's nearly there, isn't it?

The AI Attenborough. Yeah, no, we actually, there's a, some legal issues with using a better one. Gotcha. So it's going to be changed enough to not be un-broke. As I was like, that is someone who, if on a cruise ship, they did seven other voices, you'd be like, fine. They do an 80% of everyone.

Yes. That is old man nature voice. Very distinct. Not referencing anyone in particular, just a man born in the 1920s who loves nature. This came in from Callum. I saw Jack in the wild today. Okay. Was driving into golf listening this morning on to the show and I hear Jack talking about selling the people's trolley or marketplace.

Which I haven't done. I've got the buggy. You guys, I get to golf and he's in the group in front of me. Oh Jack, there's eyes everywhere, man. You got to be careful. Late to his tea time, by the way. I'm thinking, oh, at least the trolley is getting some use. On hole 15, Jack's fussing about with it. I can't believe this is seen. The battery has died. Yeah. He's playing partner who is actually carrying his own bag when he's back, says to Jack, that thing's more trouble than it's worth.

This is not good for your resale value here, Jack. You've got working legs don't you? Jack replies, clear as day. Yeah, you're right. All I can think of is poor Doreen or whoever that old lady's name was that really needed the trolley for medical reasons so she can keep playing golf and maintaining a connection with her community. Think he needs to give it to the old Chook live on air or an apology song. I'll attach a screenshot of Jack's golf score for evidence. I did have a bad round. You ever had a shot?

Did you send that to Deander? Double bogey on the first. That's right. Don't read that one. Oh God. He's had a good triple bogey on the first. Then this went double, triple, double, bogey, triple in succession. Wow.

Finally has a par on nine. I can't laugh, but I am. Doesn't bother finishing a hole ten. Double. Triple. I don't know why this feels so vulnerable. Like, I'd rather naked photos of me being put on the internet. As someone, Jack, I feel you, as someone that's trying to learn golf, this feels like being hazed.

This feels like you've been strung up in the locker room and you're just getting your bare butt spanked. Hole 15, where the trolley dies. He then gets a par after the dead trolley. Wow. Anyway. What was the final score? Might as well. You shot... Well, there's no... The pick-up's not counted. You counted if that counts as 10?

So we put that as a 10, 106. I can't mate, I can't laugh. I can't laugh. And for people who don't know golf, par is 72. And more is worse. And that was, I know, let's just stop now. But yeah. When you start playing golf, you're actually afraid of people who are good at golf, like Andy.

This is absolutely, the beginner golfers worse than us. They're laughing at schools like that. And people tell you, don't worry. What you'll learn on the golf course is that everybody's only interested in their own game. They're not even paying attention to you. Then to have Andy read hole by hole. It's horrible. I would hate that to happen to me. I'm with you, then to Fandy Reed. Oh my god. It's horrible. It's horrible. I would hate that to happen to me. I'm with you, Jack. Can I just say, I'd be happy with that score.

More than happy with that score. Many a day. But can I just, what I want to focus on is the trolley here. Yeah, I've got- The first round you played with it, after all, can I just say the reputational destruction you endured as you stole it, as you decided where you thought fair was on that game and you won it fairly under those rules. Most people I bump into, especially those who are part of the 10,000 people who put themselves into the lottery, didn't see it as balanced as what I saw it.

So you did, there was a reputational cost for you to get that trolley, but then the first time you took it out on the golf course. And again, I know for non-golf understanders or carers, shout out to my wife if she's listening, as Ando said, 106 is a kind of a score you'd be like, okay, that wasn't my best day out there. You shot an 88. 89. 89. Still easily my best ever score. And it was the first round with the and you're like oh my god this has been the missing link which really spoke to me on a personal level because I do firmly believe that spending more money on gear is the answer to getting better at golf not improving your own skill. It's probably a gear problem so you probably can buy your way out of it. So I was like oh my god this sounds great Jack I can buy your way out of it. So I was like, oh, my God, this sounds great, Jack.

I can't believe this. But now it seems like the cart isn't the magic. No, it's not magic. Like, I do like not having to push the cart and it drives around like on its own. But it is definitely not magic. And I've been getting worse. And can I say just like one bugbear with it, even though I'm very thankful for the company is it gets,

you meant to charge it. It says in the manual many times, charge it every round, but at the end of the round, you can check the battery and pretty much at the end of every round, it's about 50% left in it. So you often get to the end and you're like, oh, I probably can not charge it this time and just run the gauntlet again next time and get another 50% out of it. So what happens when it runs out of energy? So you think the second 50s goes faster than the first 50? And then the second 50 on this occasion was only he really had 14 holes in it, not 18.

And then it's because you walk from side to side the whole way down the 50. I've got to say that's very cruel, but I must hand it to you. Wonderful golf burn. Oh, this is tough. It is so awkward when it dies because it's got something in it that doesn't let you push it because the motors are meant to resist it. Resist the wheel. So why this guy, Callum, has seen me is like down on all fours. You have to unlock the wheel from the motor to right.

And I should be dragging. There's just three skid marks for five holes as you drag a stubborn mule of a cart along behind you. Not a great look. Callum, thank you very much for your jacksiding. We only want real ones. But if you do, I'm just referring to my sightings, which tend to have a- We've never had a falsie for anyone. I appreciate the people's honesty there.

Keep them coming in. Can I hold onto it though, Trolley? I'm going to hold onto it, yeah. Couldn't we give a quick update on the piano that you had to get shipped off to the guy in Tasmania? Yes, it is going very soon. Very soon. Oh God, I thought that was months ago. I thought we were just happening.

Apparently the guy who's coming to pick it up had abdominal strain and he can't lift it. Did you get the cheapest? I outsourced the logistics of this to Liza. Sorry. Who have you picked? Why have they only got one person? One person that's going to saw abs. They can't come to see me. It's like no one else in Melbourne willing to move a piano.

It's been months. Jack, why aren't you more across this? This was to rebuild your reputation. I know. I actually keep asking what's happening with the piano. She told me this morning before we started, he's got an abdominal strain and he doesn't want to lift the piano right now. Did you say, don't worry, I'll do it because I don't have a job?

No, I said, yeah, good point. Cause it's really heavy. It is really heavy. I think it's safe to say we all, if COVID taught us nothing else, it taught us how to sneeze, right? Like it taught us the elbow trick. Yeah, into the elbow. I don't think we were doing, were you doing the elbow before COVID?

No, I think we were doing bubble hands. Yeah, hands. We were doing hands, were we? And that turned out to be bad. Yep. Because hands go elsewhere. Yeah. And so we all learned, I think we all learned a lot about sneezing.

I feel, I still feel that there's an element of when people sneeze now, way more, way more post COVID, where people are like police the sneeze a little bit and go, you know, we're not back in those times, back in COVID, remember she sneezed, it was like, it was like you bought a gun out. Yeah. Glad. I don't know what you guys are like, but I don't think anyone needs to actually outwit these things.

Can't you just hold it in? Like, can't you just... No, I can't. No, sometimes it's... My son can. He can do... Yeah, we all can. It's like when you...

Why can't you do it? I don't think I can hold it in. I can deaden the explosion, but I can't contain it completely. I could soften it, but this actually leads into what I want to talk about. This soft, like the dead-end one, it's like when you, yeah, like someone like, you know, in old Western movies, like an explosion happens in a mine and you like hear something and then just a puff of smoke comes out the tunnel.

That's what I'm running with. Yeah, Sunny can do those and I admire his ability to completely do it. But we're all sneezing into our crooks and I'd be interested to completely do it. But we're all, we're all sneezing into our, into our crooks. And I'd be interested to hear your thoughts, Ando, and other people's, as people that kind of are able to like choke out their sneeze and muffle it. When you're by yourself, do you ever just let a sneeze off the chain? I do that as a choker. So I will use the silencer, but then if I've taken someone out into the forest and I want

to take the silencer on, that's... It is like singing at the top of your lungs. It is like an elephant. Sometimes if I'm by myself, and because the sneezes sneak up on you, so you only have a really one or two seconds to make the call. Yes. Are we suppressing this or are we going full noise? Yes. And when you realise, you check your room. I'm in my bedroom by myself here and you can just, whoosh,

just let it out and like a sonic boom comes forth. It is great fun. I did one the other day. The spray though, the, when you. Oh yeah, it's got, it's a, it's a dirt bag move. But that's one, an outdoor one is absolutely the best. If you say, if you're on a walk by yourself, nobody around. I'm just remembering I wasn't in the bedroom. That's right.

That's right. There's so many trees around. I thought it was the wallpaper. But you're right. Yeah. That like, that's why I was so excited the other day. You're right. Because of the outdoor one, the wind can take it and no animal, it's just animals out there. So I had one the other day where, cause it's that really, really fast window to make the calculation of like, hang on, what am I doing?

How am I controlling this? It's the closest I ever feel to being an elite athlete when you've got no time to think and you've got to get the pass. But it slows down. So you're like, okay, what do we do? Yeah. Suddenly you're like the quarterback seeing all the options in front of you. Am I indoors?

Am I outdoors? I'm obviously outdoors, indoors is a pig maneuver. So I see, I had a bit of a, I had a bit of a blocked nose, like, you know, been like blowing my nose and a sneeze came on. So the algorithm comes down and I go, you know, first on the decision tree, soft or loud, and I go, yeah, go loud. You buy yourself. And then,

And then elbows, elbows take the day off for that one. Yeah. And then I went, there's a whole new thing you can do here. What if I tried to, if I took a big breath in, cause it's the, the breath in indicates how loud the sneeze is going to be. It's like when they say the tide goes out before like a tidal wave. So you breath in, like, this is going to be huge. And then I made the call, keep your mouth shut.

Wow. And try and get it all through the nose. You're in the bedroom. I was in the bathroom for this one. But I knew I almost needed to put like tarps up on the wall. As it's coming, you're like, I don't know what's going to happen here. But there's such a thrill when you're doing an experiment with your own head. Your own head is the apparatus.

I was like, here we go. Hold my lips. It's not good. It's not good. I felt like I almost blew the top of my cheeks out like it just came. Like all the spit erupts out through your lips and everything. So it's not it's not hot and it's not good. No. But walk it back one step. And I say, hey, it's just you. You're a consenting adult.

By yourself. by yourself. Enjoy yourself. Let one off the chain out again. We discussed this during the week. A dying art, I think, is taking a popular song and making a jingle out of it. I feel like it was huge and prevalent in the nineties. Yep. Well, making almost like a song about the company.

Yes. Yeah. Famous ones. Those were the days. Famous ones in the past. It's Mack tonight as in McDonald's tonight versus Mack the Knife. This is a bit of that one. We grew up with it.

Yeah. Half past six to bed, time to head for a cold little light. It's a good time for a great taste. Dinner at McDonald's is McDonough. Come on make it McDonough. Killer. Killer. Now... Giant Moon singing it from memory? Yes, yes. And I can't remember who the artist was. It was a famous artist singing it. I just thought they'd written that for McDonald's. I was shocked to find out later that was a song. But it was, did it die out because McDonald's started focusing more on the breakfast menu?

Probably. That's steering too many customers in store for nighttime. Yep. I think that's probably why they- Probably from your franchise owners, you have the pushback to be like, Hey, that's, we're a 24 hour restaurant. Another one that we remembered was Banana Boat. Amazing. I thought there was an ad, the one I was singing was, maybe reminded me of it was, I thought it was an ad for a carton of ice.

I thought it was a drink. No, no, yeah, I know the one you're thinking of, but it was just an ad for putting cans on ice in the nineties. I think we talked about- What do you mean? It was just an ad for cans. No, it was an ad for cans. It was really just an ad for-

Like an aluminium Australia. We know that you love- It must have been, Jack. It must have been from the Aluminium Producers Association, because it really was just an ad encouraging you to have a preferred delivery mechanism of soft drink, like between bottles and cans. Yes. And it was an ad about just how great cans are. Yep. Have just love it. Every time. Nothing refreshes like ice cold can. And they just had heaps of brands of different cans. It was like a We Are The World moment because it was like Coke and Schweppes and everyone

had just come together to just be cans. Like what unites us? We're just cans. So we wanted to say to the biggest companies in the world, there's still an avenue for you and remind them that this could still be done. We've shown some big hitters there. Look at Cairns haven't gone anywhere. It worked for Cairns, it could work for you.

So in a segment we're doing today called the Jingle Joust, we put in eight big companies that may not normally turn to a jingle or a hit song to turn to a jingle. And then we put eight big songs in a hat. Have you got the company list? The companies were Worksafe, ChatGPT, All Brand, LinkedIn, Louis Vuitton, Tesla, Durex and Metamucil. Could really could go anywhere. Although too heavy, you've got Metamucil and All Brand in there, so too heavy on the bowel movement. So it'd be unlucky if we pulled both of those.

I don't know what you guys, I didn't get either of those. I don't know if you- Neither did I. Okay. Okay. So we've dodged a heavy fiber, two heavy fiber jingles. The songs were All Star by Smash Mouth, The Macarena, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, Cake by the Ocean,

those boots are made for walking, Oh What a Night, December 1963, Spinning Around by Kylie Minogue and Riptide by Vance Joy. Now we all dipped our hands into a hat for both the brands and the songs. Haim, you kick us off. Okay, great. Do you want to go song first or brand first? I drew LinkedIn. Oh.

So initially I was like, okay, that's, I'm not on LinkedIn. Jack, you might be because. I should be. Yeah. Job. I'm looking for a job. Um, but, um, I, I'm not on LinkedIn, but that's okay. You didn't have to be a power user of the product to write a jingle for it.

And my song was Riptide by Vance Joy, which I now have, and I loved the song before, but now I have even more of an appreciation for it, specifically the singing of it. It's right in his key, isn't it? Yeah. He's done well. I mean, good on him. He's good on him.

He's not going to write himself a hard song. He's played to his strengths and good on him. Good on him. All power to him. He wasn't to know that I would be needing him to write a song that we both could sing. At some point in his life. Several tones lower. That's all right.

He's just thought of himself. And again, I say good on him. He's the one out touring it. You can see how long these things are. How long is home's jingle? 55 seconds. Wow. Wow.

You have to buy a double ad spot. Well, usually an ad is 30 seconds, but I guess you can buy a double spot. This is a cinema ad. LinkedIn with Riptide. did with Rift Hide. ["Rift Hide"] ["Rift Hide"] If you are a dentist or in PR. If you are a project leader needing work connections.

Oh my friend, we are a dream. Best professional networking site that you've ever seen A-oooh, and we're totally free! Asterix Yous us, we are the guys at LinkedIn We know what the world's thinking Specifically about business things Like job posts, statistics on engagements of posts

And also thought leadership posts. Those are the posts you'll love the most. Asterix details. We're not totally free. Our free version is free. Premium is expensive. Now that's a website I'd go to. I like it.

I really liked it. I appreciate it. To be honest, I don't remember hearing or seeing a LinkedIn ad before, but I reckon that's on them. They probably have done it. I really liked it. I appreciate that. To be honest, I don't remember hearing or seeing a LinkedIn ad before, but they don't think that's on them. They probably have done it. And I don't think that it was memorable as what you've just produced. They wouldn't finish the ad with our premium version is expensive. I would argue to them that's the, that's why you get someone, just a man on the

street to write your ads for you. Yes. Cause that's how we would see it. Yeah. Just more honest. I'm not saying it's the most expensive thing in the world to write your ads for you. Yes. Cause that's how we would see it. Yeah. Just more honest. I'm not saying it's the most expensive thing in the world. It's certainly more expensive than free. So it's a consideration.

Yeah. I will though. But then if I was allowed more time in the small talk, I would go, yeah, I mean, it's more expensive than some things, but you know, you go spend money to make money, I mean, do you want a job or not? Get in there. And you'd already gone for 55 seconds. The ad you gave us had two minutes of small talk.

It flew. Which I think a testament to the song. Some credit to Vance, to be honest. I take all the credit. I pulled out of the song hat spinning around by Kylie Minogue. Yeah. Okay. I then pulled out Louis Vuitton. Wow.

Now there's a brand, of all these brands brands that's least likely to get a jingle. Yes. I don't think Louis Vuitton is going to go for jingles. The stuff that Louis Vuitton does just never, it just doesn't seem like it's one step away from a jingle. And there's nothing in the lyrics of Spinning Around rhymes with Louis Vuitton. Well, yeah, no. And the tough thing about a jingle is you kind of need the name of the

brand in there. Yes. So what do you think, I'm going to ask both of you and hopefully you get the right answer because this leads me into where the direction is. Is it something like, you know, owl bags around, you know, long shaped? No. What colours defy Louis Vuitton do you think? The most famous colours.

Would it be sort of a brown? Yes, very similar to that. And bags that you simply can't miss. Handcrafted goods from France and from Spain. For every look, Beth got something that fits. Louis Vuitton, since 1854. Sling a touch of Paris over your arm. Really good. Well done. Really good. And congratulations. You took the world's, possibly the world's premium fashion house and made it sound like a discount outlet chain. But it's so catchy.

I reckon it would work if that was an ad that was always on TV and radio, you would start going like, which one's Louis Vuitton? You know, John Lennon. John Lennon. John Lennon is on Brown. Oh yeah. That's the one you can never forget. Jack. You know, John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton.

John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton.

John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton.

John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. John Leverton. I was surprised to see WorkSafe even on the list because it's really more of a government organisation. I just thought it's the kind of company that you're not going to see a jingle for because they're normally doing really brutal ads where someone's in an industrial accident and listening an arm and they're like, come on, take care of your mates. So that was the challenge on that one.

That's tough, Jack. That's what I remembered of WorkSafe ads growing up, was either the horrific injury ones, or there was the easier to digest one where the work site is looking out the window, they see him rock up in the car park and they go, oh no, WorkSafe here, did you put the metal guard on, et cetera, et cetera. That was more of a precautionary one, wasn't it?

I feel like, is WorkSafe a Victorian thing, or is it national? Oh, I would have thought it was. I reckon it could be, you know, I feel like is it work safe? Is work safe a Victorian thing or is it national? Oh, I would have thought it could be just in case people in other states are listening. I mean, people could figure this out. I feel like it might be work safe Victoria, but we all grew up in Victoria. Maybe. But surely every state has their own version of like a work safe inspector coming around to check on you. I'm not saying that Victoria is the only state that makes you have the rules. Everyone else, no hard hats, no scaffolding. Wear what you want and just, you know, if you're getting really antsy up on there, tie a rope around your ankle and then tie it to a beam if you're really worried

about falling. So I've been inspired by those ads of the guys looking out from their work sites, seeing their work safe man, inspector rocking up. This is sung from the perspective of the work site. The work site? Yeah, the work site. So the workers, they are talking about the work safe man. And I've also bought a double ad. Oh, thank you. He's bought a double ad. Oh, offent. He bought a double ad, it's longer.

What I like about this, Jack, is I could, and obviously it's your vision, but I could see the start of the ad where they've got the radio on during the work site. Love that. And then this song comes on. And they're in their high vis by the end, they're dancing and singing.

Yeah, and it's like an audio fade from radio music to kind of live action singing. Is that? Yeah. Wow. You've sort of written a musical, have you? This is exactly my vision. Here we go. Okay. Says no more smoke, go buy the diesel drums Or he will call us non-compliant

The work safe guy He strongly recommends we change our shoes Steel cap toes instead of cowboy boots They might look nice but they're non-compliant He says that we need to comply or he'll suspend us He also thinks it's time to untie the apprentice Do that don't don't don't do that Do that don't don't don't do that I mean, I can see them all singing and dancing and they're pointing out things not to do. And it's got this kind of village people vibe to it. That guy wasn't really a construction worker, but he got into it.

It's the village people if they're all the construction worker. Exactly. I mean, it adds way more to my mind since we're kind of painting a visual picture here. There's a lot of finger waggling from the works. I've got it. Yeah. Which you don't see in the ads. And I think in real life, they're probably a bit sterner than that, but it keeps it lighthearted, you know, it keeps it lighthearted. And there's a lot of finger waggling.

Don't do that. Well done, Jacko. Well done guys. Like to be honest. The tricky part for you, Jack is, cause you'd have to have that as the ad, but then it has to get into the serious bit at the end. Like you have to be going from singing, don't, don't, don't do that. Then you would have to like quite quickly power down and then have like a voice over,

go, you know, seriously, don't do that. All jokes aside, spoken by B. Bankrupt for work safety. Haim, as we strive to make the world's tallest hat, in the war room where Sam and Grace are, they still continue to chat on WhatsApp. And now I'm monitoring it. I've also entered the chat to throw our ideas that we have in between the weeks to them to see how they respond. Time for another one of these.

The inside word conversations of tall hat construction. By way of background, Grace is the university student aerospace engineering. I think she's studying and so she's doing design and Sam works at a compositing manufacturer so he's gonna do the lightweight structure. We're going a top hat and the idea of making a lead rim. Yep. Did you mention to them the lead corks of a Bushman's hat? I did and that's why I wanted to show you where we're at and then I did throw that. It's the first time I had the courage to enter myself into the WhatsApp with a suggestion from the group that we could do a corked hat and have lead instead of corks to counterbalance the weight of the hat itself.

They began the conversation talking about how thick the lead rim was going to be. I think Sam was trying to work out, he's our manufacturer, he was trying to work out how much of a tubular, I suppose, end to the brim he will need to fill with lead. This is how it started. How thick is the lead? Yep. Like is how it started. with him about making the lining. Okay, perfect. Can definitely use any metal if they are easier to manufacture or even getting curved sheet metal to embed.

I'm good mates with the manufacturing supervisor at uni if we need anything like that. Yeah, perfect. Might need to keep that in mind for the buckle. Now it just showed to me, gosh, they're really going down this lead brim and I hadn't spoken up yet from our point of view. It is also interesting because they don't know each other, predominantly just through the chat. It's, it's a mate off, isn't it?

Yeah. I've got this friend. I've got this friend there. There's guys I've been, okay, cool. And what's an ingot? An ingot is just like a bar of, bar of like a gold ingot. It's like a gold brick and an ingot. Like, so it's just like a little bar of, um, you know, the

material. Oh, so he's just got to mate his bars of lead. He can get bars of lead. I guess he has a little mold that he can like heat up the lead and pour it in and make little bars. Ah, okay. So yeah, a bit of a made off. This is when I thought cheapest, they're going heavy literally on the brim of

this. Can I just ask, I just want to speak up for anyone trying to visualize this. If they're talking about attaching, so you think of a standard top hat, felt, felt on felt, right? Felt brim, felt hat. You don't really need to think too much about the structure. You're not going five meters in the air. When you've got that kind of a situation,

that thinking about the brim of a top hat, you kind of need to know how stiff that brim is, because if you start weighing down the outside of the brim, I worry it now begins to droop over the eyes. And I wonder if the whole brim being led like a halo is a better structural option. So it still gives you the weight because we're really trying to make it. You're trying to connect the brim to the hat. From what I can gather, the whole brim is carbon fiber. So it is super, the whole thing is rigid carbon fiber. Didn't know about that. With a curl at the end, which they're going to build in the mold,

that they can then just push the lead in on the outer curve. Is that making sense? So they hide the lead in the curl up. Yeah. No, no, no. Okay, no. If the brim is carbon fiber, no problemo. Yeah.

That's great. Cause I'm just worried about how you transfer the weight from the edge of the brim through the brim to the hat. And if it was felt, we've got a droop city on our hands here. But that's okay. That makes more sense to me. We do need to cover, we'll need to cover the carbon fiber with felt. Yes. Yes. I think they plan on doing that. So a very rigid brim. I like it.

So this is where I went, oh gosh, I've got to jump in with our idea for the corks hat and instead of corks with lead. So the weight dangles lower, which would be a better counterweight as you were suggesting Ham. Hames got obviously our physics. Maybe, maybe. So I plucked up the courage and I jumped in. Hey guys, Andy jumping in here.

I'm no engineer, but this was discussed on the podcast. What about we went with a corked hat and instead of corks there were lead weights to counterbalance and improve stability? Low key not a bad idea but we'll add extra weight. I think we can get away with just an absurdly wide brim hat. Agreed. Just needs to grab the head well. Okay, I'll butt out of this. I quickly just got it.

You really didn't. I can't say you this. I quickly just go. I can't say you advocated too hard for the idea. I panicked. Hey guys. I just sort of jumped in with an idea. Sure. What's up Andy? No worries. I'm out. Yeah.

Well, it got dismissed pretty quickly. Yeah. No, it wasn't actually dismissed. She said low key, a pretty good idea. Low key, not a bad idea, but we'll add extra weight. I think we can get away with just an absurdly wide-brew hat. And then we actually can't have an absurdly wide-brew hat. Cause how wide is absurdly wide?

Well, that's the thing. I, we haven't really passed. I didn't want to, I was too nervous to jump back in and say, Hey, Hey guys, I'm going to try something again, because it seemed like they're really tight and I'm just third wheeling. What we're doing now is going back a few weeks where I'd got an email from a guy that claims to know the American guy that holds the current record and he said one of the rules he was following is it has to kind of be.

A standard hat. They used a Santa hat that's just been stretched or lengthened height wise. Well, that this they think a wider brim would be better for us. So if we were like- I know, but does that violate the top hat? But on one hand, we're stretching it one way, can we stretch it another way? I don't know.

I think, well that's- It comes down to, for me, because we've decided to not embark on all the rigmarole and palaver of using the Guinness Book of Records, because we're just gonna have five honest citizens see it with their own eyes and judge it off the criteria. Comes down to, it's a question of honor.

Do we believe it's honorable to win this thing with a wider brim or not? I think so. Or we just pretend that we're doing a wide brim hat. We change it from top hat to wide brim hat. I mean, some people... But how wide is wide? Do you know what this... What if I right now I ask ChatGPT,

has there ever been a wide brim top hat accepted in society as a version of the top hat? And we let ChatGPT decide, has there ever been? Because when they say it has to be the existing hat and we let chat GBT decide. Because they're ever been. Because when they say it has to be the existing hat, like what, just the same base size and then just heaps taller. Yeah. I think what they're saying is you can, you can alter it vertically, but you can't alter it in different ways.

I'm just looking to cherry pick the answer here. And this is rare for Chach-e-BT to do this to you, but it says historically and formally, no, a wide brimmed hat is not considered a legitimate form of top hat in traditional fashion or millinery classifications. I say we switch to Sombrero then. We got to ask him how wide they're thinking, because if they're thinking, okay, joke wide, like we, and we've already done wide brim hat before, then it's not going to pass the test of this is a real hat. I still- Now it says here in exceptions under, sorry, I'm still in Chetchabitie, mad hatter hats sometimes have a very wide brim. They really do. Exaginal.

So we could do the Mad Hatter hat. That's a hat that exists. Yeah, that's nice. And then it says the Guinness world record's tallest hats sometimes extend brim width for stability, but the record is based on height only, not fashion correctness. So I would say, I would think we would still claim the honorable win if we have a moderately wide brim, but not an absurdly wide one. In which case I would support going to a sombrero. Okay.

I'll plug up the carriage to chat to them again on the WhatsApp. We'll know how this will go. You'll say, why don't we do a sombrero? They'll say no, we're right. Thanks. And you go, all right, bye. Sorry, this was Jack using Andy's phone. Bye.

Fellas, I found a category of things that people in relationships do. And they simply do them because they're in love with their partner. And love is a spell, isn't it? They cast a spell and you, and you end up doing things. And obviously sometimes the spell wears off and that's sad for those couples. But I find myself doing extremely annoying. Say if you asked me to do it, Jack, I'd go, no way. Yeah.

But that doesn't surprise me because Jack's not your fiance. I know exactly. But that's, that's, that's the power of, that's the power of love. You know, and I'm not talking about just, you know, bins or spider removal or, you know, the Andy jobs that we've said in the past. Yeah. Like me asking you to take my bins out is a lot to ask you. You shouldn't live at my house.

Yes. No, agreed. But you still do love Jack a bit. Would you go and take his bins out? If you were in the area, would you take my bins out? If I was leaving your house and you said, can you take the bins out on your way out? I would. Yeah, thank you.

But my point is- I'd take your bins out, Jack, if I was in the same city. Thank you. No. Okay, next time you down test that, Jack. Because there's no way. Not if you're abusing it, but if you're like, mate, I down test that, Jack. There's no way. Not if you're abusing it, but if you're like, mate, I'm absolutely up against it. I need you to take the bins out.

And it was moderately convenient for me. No, moderately convenient. This is where best endeavours comes into contracts. Very hard to argue. I make best endeavours. I absolutely will. Best endeavours. I mean, those are things for the betterment of the household, even though they're annoying

for me personally, and I think I have more of those jobs than Bec does, but they're a joint benefit for that. I'm talking about things that only benefit Bec and don't benefit me whatsoever. Obviously something's happened. What's the job? I've got to. In fact, I'd encourage people to write in because I think this happens a lot of couples where you just find yourself doing something and you're like, God, I wouldn't do this for

anyone else. Maybe people write in homechannel.com. First one, every night, Bec asks me to set the alarm for her because she doesn't trust her own phone alarm. That is a bit too much to ask. So this morning, it was the same type of phone. So, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, much. So this morning, So, she doesn't trust her phone. She goes, I've got to like, if we have to go somewhere, she'd be like, got the alarm set for 5.15, you set one too. But if you've got it set.

Well, Bex like, I'm getting up for Pilates at 5.15. Can you set my, set the alarm for me? Just set her, her phone. No, on your phone. On my phone. And so I wake up at 5.15, roll over, wake her up. She goes, thanks very much. She goes, I'll try not to wake you. Like, no, you have. And then she goes in and gets ready quietly. And I get up at seven or 7.30, whatever time I'm getting up. That to me is odd, but I don't care about it whatsoever. That's love. That's love. That's love. Yeah. Here's a second one.

Beck has a coat that she likes to travel overseas with, but doesn't want to pack it in the bag because it would get crumpled. I carry the coat on carry on everywhere we go. That's good. And I was just sitting there. In your bag or you just carry it in your arms? No, carry it like draped over my arm. Yeah. we go. That's good. And I was just sitting there. In your bag or you just carried it in your arms? No. Carried it like draped over my arm. Yep. And I was, Bec's easy getting through passport and control and everything because she doesn't

have the coat. And I said, hey, maybe you should carry the coat. And she's like, oh no, no. It's like, you've got longer arms. You've got a longer arm. You're a better coat rack. And I was thinking, I would never, if we got to the airport with you and I, you and I got to the airport home and you said, Hey, can you carry my coat for the rest of the trip

until I get there? Cause I might want to wear it once. I'd tell you to f off. It's true. I mean, it is, it's love. It's love. These are nice. These are beautiful things you do.

Um, I mean, I'm only saying this cause I'm a few more years down the marriage track and maybe Jack has the same feeling, but that is a great little rehearsal of marriage. You are a Sherpa, you're a coat rack, you're an alarm clock, you're a concierge. You report directly to management, but you're not management. You have a great relationship with management and you're often invited to drinks with them. It would be nice one day to have them see you as management. Yeah, exactly. But they see you as a very, very, very reliable worker. And there's nothing to be ashamed of there because you have the honour of serving management.

And long may you have the honour of serving management. And long may you have the honour.