Hamish & Andy - 2025 Ep 304 - The Pact That Could Change Everything

Episode Date: August 13, 2025

Andy drops a life-changing pact - and Jack’s way too quick to accept. Hamish admits he’s now reliant on ChatGPT (RIP Google), and worries what the robot thinks of him. The boys run a Gusto Check on a family business, pitting two brothers against each other in a tight battle, and Hamish kicks off this week’s Upset Andy with a personal account… involving the fruit bowl.  1. Andy’s $50k pact 2. Gusto check - brother vs brother 3. What does Chat GPT know about you? 4. Upset Andy 

A Listener Production Activate your internet Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three Two Sorry, still buffering One Ahoie to me frog Hamish

Yes, okay, happy to be famous amphibians or animals my daughter has in a razor form, which would be a niche topic. What's a razor? What do you mean? Like has rubber's little, like, you know, pencil erasers. Yes, yes. I thought he's got an erasure scooter,

and she was riding around with a frog. She rides the frog. Yeah, she rides the frog. She's too big for the tadpole these days, so she's on the frog. No, a hooy to you. Chip. Jack. Ahooy.

Frog and Chip. Frog and Chip. And I am the soul. Half, isn't it? Well, yeah, they do seem like three unrelated things, which I guess is the fun of the game. Yeah. If you're in woodwork, you would know it. I am loosely in woodwork.

Oh, yeah? What are you making? I drill. Oh, yeah, okay, okay. We are the three main parts of a hand plane. If you're going to plane, good. Yeah. Go electric.

Right. You guys, do you want me to tell you what the parts are? It seems like you're so disappointed. Jack, you're building a sauna. Wouldn't you be interested in some acoustic woodwork? Are you all electric? No, you can plug a planer in. I've got an electric planner, and it does the job.

Well, I mean, you own a frog, a soul and a chip. If they have the same items that a hand planer does. No, I don't think they would. I think they would. They would just jiggle faster. That's the whole, literally, when you add electricity to a tool, it just jiggles it or spins it. Yeah, that's true.

It is spinning faster. Ahoy also, to Isaac. Use the very easy-to-use system at hamishnety.com to tell us what he's been up to. Boy guy. Ahoy, two really quick ones here. This is actually from the Remembering Project, but, Hey, before you got into golf, you did talk about maybe playing a 500 round

just to piss off the principle of a golf course. Did that end up ever happening? Almost. I just think it would be amazing to see some footage of you just shanking balls for six hours. Now, the second part, the main course, if you will, for this voice memo. I was just listening to Amy Poller's new podcast,

and I know that you guys, guys are friends with Will Arnett and that's her ex-husband. So there is a loose connection, even though this is a bit of a stretch. But listen to this. I don't know if it's hitting you the same way, but there were just a few too many familiar notes in this little grab. Maybe she's a H&A listener. Anyway, have a good day, boys. Gus O'Tia. Got the grab for us now. Got the grab. Wow. I have heard a bit of Amy's new podcast. I mean, it's, I think it's on a completely different platform, but it is great. I'm a fan.

Great, she'll be three of the thrilled to hear that. Well, then she can't steal that bit because then it just sounds like her brag. It's an ad she's doing. Oh, I do skip those. No, no, no, no, you can't skip ads on that. And, no, no, I can tell anyone with the buttons. And I think when you guys hear it, you know exactly what Isaac is talking about. This episode is brought to you by Vokeswagon.

Ever look at something and think, wow, must be nice. Yeah, same. But here's the thing. The 2025 Volkswagen Tijuana makes all that really nice stuff totally within reach. A doubler.

She's a big, she's a fan. There's just no doubt. You've returned to favor. She's obviously a fan of ours. If she then goes on to explain how, you know, and you don't have to be a Noel Blake to get a Tijuana, stocks are now in perfectly, matched demand as opposed

to back in 2018 or whatever we're talking about my dad bragging about the fact you can't get a Tiguan. Yes. I feel like you can get a Tiguan these days. We haven't checked in on Tiguan. It was probably the original must be nice, though, wasn't it? Getting a whole I think it was, yeah. I think it was the original

my dad drives Volkswagen Tiguan. Let's just hear it one more time, Jack. This episode is brought to you by Volkswagen. Ever look at something and think, wow, must be nice. Yeah, same. But here's the thing. The 2025 Volkswagen Tiguan makes all that really nice stuff totally within reach. See, here's the thing I'm thinking is that obviously she gets handed the script from Tiguat.

She's not necessarily listening to our show that Volkswagen are. And it actually sounds like an ad that was meant to be on our podcast and it's been given to somebody else. I'm changing tack now, guys, because there's something I wanted to present to you, both and it's pretty serious so it deserves this music okay sorry just before you go on i've had a few people say there's a tiguan to me before and it's actually a t-cross so just be careful before i know we've moved on but just be careful before you um go going oh they're not that rare there's one yeah that's a t-cross i wondered whether both of you'd be interested in a pact

Okay. Yep. I'll have a good pact. I don't think we've had a pact ever or at least for a while. I think we've got a lot of unspoken pacts. But this one's a spoken one. Okay. It only works if we all agree.

Yeah, that's packs. Yes. There's a little bit of our name. And we came across the treasure in the Incan jungle and we made a pact to never reveal. Oh, Dave didn't. He said he's going to tell some pieces, but we map. we made a pact you all need to be in on the pact

risky could change the way we feel about each other forever it could mean that we start wishing misfortune on one another which isn't too different our kids if we have them or our wives if we have them

um so far maybe none for two on your count although you are working working on it maybe inuitous a little bit yep again not a huge deviation from the normal run of the mill it could bring us a small amount of happiness though that's good and a bit of comfort I feel like you're asking would you like to continue the podcast and comfort on what will be in the future a sad day you would assume okay so we're not getting that much out of it so far. It will guarantee two of us get $50,000. Oh, wow.

Well, I know Jack's involved. Unless there's some outlay more than $20. What do you mean two of us? Here's the pact I'm proposing. He's already to get all and smell a stitch up in the wind. Would we make a pact that whoever dies first gives 50 grand to the other two? Yeah, too quick for the yes, Jack, which makes me feel like he's about to mushroom manist.

Beef Wellington's wall to wall from here. Well, that's a good point. Maybe you can't be dying. You can't be killed. You can't be killed by anyone. I think the pact is out if it turns out that any of us have been killed by someone because you can't just be. No, and it's a car accident.

Like, that's someone else killing me. How do I know Jack didn't hire a semi-trailer to? I mean, it's 50 grand, though. We've seen what he's done for free act. No, yeah, no suspicious circumstances. Remember the lengths he went to to get free peanut butter. That was no money involved in that transaction. It was literally like $1.9 jar of peanut butter a month.

And he sold his soul to two companies. Okay, well, we need to, you have to put it in. That's why there's a little bit of admin, which worries me about Hamish doing it. But we have to put it in our wills. We'd have to say, you're already in my will. Yeah, and you're in my... You've got an absolute bonanza coming your way, mate. But again, I actually haven't put the, unless he does me in.

Clause, I just assumed, you know, that you wouldn't. You're in my will as well, Jack. Yeah, thank you. I've never made a will. It's definitely on my to-do list. Yeah, it's one of your monkeys, I think. Yeah, yeah, exactly. It's still, it's, every day I see it on that to-do list.

And I think not today, but soon. No, no, you're flat out. How's the job? Well, I don't have a job at the moment, so there's not a lot to leave in the will. yeah no that's good so jack i'm not telling you i'm not telling you oh no i can't tell jack what's in my i've and he knows what's in my will for you jack but well have you got like a booby prize in there for me or something i don't what is it what is it like the electric drum kit or something no you are you have that you've got that that's now like eight people removed from me i

can never be able to get that back all the money from my estate will be drained in legal fees is the executive tries to find the drum kit. Just puts 10 years of expenses in trying to find the drum kit. It never turns up. Give me a clue what's in there for me. Put something in there to deliberately confuse you. Oh, no, God, don't put a trick in there. I'll be grieving.

Well, that doesn't give you a little file. So here's the thing. Yes, I think that's a great rule. Can't kill each other. Any, any. Which is one of the unspoken backs I think I was talking about. Yeah. Any suspicious death nullifies it.

Also, anyone in your periphery, like, you know, if Bianc, that applies for Bianca as well, Jack, because she would benefit from the 50. I don't think she would kill you, but I understand. Yeah. So do we have a pact? Well, what about, can I throw him one more thing to it? What if we do, instead of just 50 straight,

we do like a percentage of our total prices? Jack's already trying to contra. I actually have quite a lot of mission corn chips left over from what I did to deal with them. So could I, could it be cash in time? We're not doing percentage of net wealth, Jack. But thank you for. Flat fee, you'll notice. Flat fee, we're doing flat fee.

He's tried to Jordan us. No fee, just 10% of the shoes. Oh, I'm definitely in. Definitely. Do you think that you're a better chance to win it because you're a bit younger? Well, I'm eight or nine years younger. So already there, I've got a head start. And I'm looking for money.

So there's two reasons. There's two good reasons. Not that I would hate for either of you to die, but what a bonus you would be? I'd say Jack seems too upset. I would hate it. Yeah, yeah. No, I've got no issue checking it in there.

I mean, you're already doing well. In my will, you're already, there's pretty well looked after, so why not put another layer of cream on the cake? I'm done. Hey, it's been a while since we've done one of these, but if anyone hits it up at hamish nanny.com And they'd like us to do a gusto check. In special circumstances, we'll do it.

This is where we call a business or a company and assess how much gusto they are giving when they answer the phone. How good are they at representing? the company. Yep. Because we all know that Gusto is the secret source of any business.

Yep. Small business and podcast. I mean, you can say the words, you can make the noises. You don't have Gusto behind it. No one's listening. You know what's really

falling off? Yeah. For AFL fans, very rarely is the song sung at the end by the team with Gusto anymore. In the change room. Oh, you reckon they're just getting through it now.

Oh, they're just getting through it. Really? It has, you do, I'd love to see someone graph it over time because it's wanders. so far away from the tune. This would bother you, and his musical theatre student. It's just, it's tempoed shouting a lot of the time.

And they really speed it up as well. They want to get it over and done with Jack. Love to see you come in as the choir master appointed to an AFL club. Okay, guys, we're going to go again. And if I see any more pushing and shoving and shouting, I don't care how long it takes. I don't care if we missed the flight back to Melbourne, We're going to sit here, and we're going to sing the song Broadway.

Exactly what that means music they used to do. Lock the doors. No one's going home. Do we get this right? This came in from Nick. He said, my two brothers are currently looking at taking over the family business. Wow. And the rest of us...

Sorry, what's the biz? It's hydraulics. As in, you know, for pumps and for tractors and that kind of stuff. Yeah, cool. Farm equipment. He said, the whole family is wondering who will be the better leader. He said, I'd love a gusto check comparison between the two of them. They work in the hydraulics field, so acting like a farmer will should get you the right results.

Yeah, okay, great. So, succession. Is it succession? Yeah. Any succession. Chris is the older brother. David is the younger brother. He's the Kieran, he's the Kieran.

and character. And the way he describes them that, actually. And Chris seems... We don't catch him at the window. Chris does seem a bit more straight-laced and straightforward and admin-heavy, but could run the business. And David, the younger brother, does seem like a bit more knockabout. Oh, a maverick. Maverick. Who will shepherd the hydraulic business into the next 40 years? So we normally judge this on a couple of metrics. The greetings, the first one, as soon as they

pick up the phone. Then there is, we've got to make one up. I'm going to ring and say my tractors lost its grunt. What kind of tractor is it? It's a Ford 4610. Asked my uncle. Well done. For a second, I was like, Ford, not a huge name in tractor. Now, apparently, particularly a while back bigger as well. So that's why maybe the hydrologer is. So you don't want to go a Massey Ferguson or a John Deere or one of the Cabotas classic tractor? Nah, I'm comfortable with my backstory. And what hydraulic on it? Like, front leaf, the pump?

Yeah, pumps gone. Yeah. So where would we be looking for gusto there in that response? I suppose we'd be looking for... How helpful is he wants to. Reassuringness? Yeah. Yes.

Like how eager is eagerness to solve the problem? Yep. Love that. What about Ando, if you say to them, like, I'm really on the fence about this, that's their chance using gusto to get you to make a decision. Yeah. I'm unsure whether to fix it at all or just get a new one.

Is that what we're thinking? So then they're going to convince us to come in. Because if you get a new one, you're going to the Ford dealers. Yeah. So we've got greeting, eagerness to help, convincing, and then when they hang up. We've got the number of Chris. We're going to start with the older brother. Chris there.

Yep. Is he at the shop? No, he's on the mobile. And sorry, just quickly, I'm just reading. Nick says, tell us. the older brother that someone from Ergon recommended you. Are you ready, Andy? It sounds like a, yeah, it sounds like a suburb of Middle Earth.

Here we go. Gusto, gusto check. We're going to do a gusto check. Numbers in. Hi, Chris speaking. Oh, hi, Chris. Dale here. Have I got the right number for Vision?

Hydraulics? Yeah, mate, yep. Oh, great. Yeah, someone from Ergon recommended you guys, so I thought I'd give you a call. Yeah. Yep. Me tractors lost some grunt.

I think one of the pumps needs a bit of looking at or someone. The track, what's sorry? My tractor. Yeah, my tractor's lost. I think one of the pumps and it's gone. I understand you guys do the whole. hydraulic. Tractor.

Tractor, you'll be wanting to talk to Cole. Cole. He's the tractor guru. He's my uncle. Oh, right. Yeah, he's, we don't touch tractors. We don't know. The old man hasn't touched them and we haven't even done.

Anything on them for as long as I can remember, mate. But me uncle, he's all over the tractor things. He does that side. I can give you his number. So what do you guys do? We're hydraulics as well, but we don't touch tractors. Would you make an exception? Just because the guys.

No. No. Why don't? Why don't you touch the tractors? Because we don't, like I said, mate, I've never worked on a tractor, be honest, myself, at all. So we've sort of gone away from that path and we're specialising in all the EWPs, crane boars, VLCs, that sort of thing. But my uncle is, that's what he does, mate. He does that. So, have you got a pen and paper, mate?

Yep. O4.2. What's his name? Oh, is his name? If you give him a call, mate, he'll be. all over it and yeah he'll have a chat here if it's on a tractor side of thing and he does all that sort of stuff he splits him down

does lift pumps everything in him so amazing all right thanks so much please mate see ya cheese mate bye bye we've been a hell of a bum's here from Nick haven't we? No you did what you could you could have just suddenly said I do need a crane ball

then you're really out on your own but you might have been flying with no instrument that's Actually, did you say crane boar? Yeah, I do one of those. Should I come in? It's a bad time when he asked you for the third time what a track was. Tractor.

And you're a farmer, you say? We haven't used tractors for years. No, mate. We do plows, all-strawn plows. As far as I know, that's the end of the line for technology. Okay, here's the thing. I still think we could score him on Gusto. Greeting, I was low at the start, but I bumped it to a five.

After you said I got recommended by Ergon. Gusto did move at that point. He went, oh, okay. And we're calling him on his personal number where we'll call his brother on the shop. So let's, I think we need to give a couple points. Five's a bump. Yep, yeah. Egan is to help.

Zero. Oh, actually, I actually think he wanted. I had eight and a half. Yeah, that's a good point. Because he did help out with Cole, didn't he? No, eagerness, eagerness. He didn't just, how easy would have been to be like, mate, we don't touch tractors, you're no use to me.

Yeah, yeah, sort of. Think about, like, he's, that was selfless, really. I mean, well, slightly keeping, you know, in the family. But I thought high on eagerness to help. And then convincing you to go to Cole was huge. I agree with that. And also convincing us of what they do. I mean, three more acronyms at me that I've ever.

heard over my life. It was, yeah. No, I mean, I knew what they were, but yeah. He said the phrase, he's all over it in regards to Cole. I counted four times. Wow. I thought that was high gusto by just continuously saying coal, he's all over it. He's all over it.

That's a high gusto to convince someone to see their uncle about a hydrolog. Yeah, I agree. I agree. And then the goodbye probably an eight, yeah? Yeah. It wasn't, didn't blow my socks off, but it wasn't lacking gusto. Well, that's a pretty good score. Pretty good for someone that wasn't what we were after.

Now, do you want to, it's not really apples to apples, but. I think I have to go to the same script because we can't judge him. You've got to give him the same material. Yeah, you're right. The younger brother. I've got Chris at a 315. Is that out of 40? Yep.

Yep. Yeah, decent. Let's see how David does. Here we go. This is David. Good luck. Thanks, man. Hi, David, speaking.

Oh, good. David, Dale here, mate. How are you? Good, mate. How are you going? Yeah, good. Someone from Ergon recommended you guys. Is that you guys from Vision hydraulics?

Is that right? Yeah. Yeah. Great, great, great. My tractor's stuffed. It's just lost its grunt. I think the pump needs looking at or something. Yeah.

You guys do that kind of stuff, don't you? No, not tractors or anything, mate. No, I wouldn't have, the old man, would have years and years ago, but I haven't looked at a tractor in, oh, well, I haven't looked at a tractor. Really? Wow. No, no. What are you guys doing then? Well, oh, yeah.

We used to do all the agricultural stuff and that, and we've moved on to like your EWPs, cranes, all that sort of stuff now. Still do hose, cylinders, motors, pumps, all that sort of stuff. but tractor-wise, they're a completely different game to pretty much any of that sort of stuff. Yeah, they are, aren't they? Yeah. Yeah.

My uncle, Cole, mate. That's all he specialises in his tractors. Yeah. Okay. Yep. So, yeah, Ken went off. Mild man, Ken went off in one way, and Cole stuck with the tractors, mate,

so he'd be the one to talk to. Okay. Do you have Cole's details? Yep. 040. Mm-hmm. Let me guess. What's the last bit?

yeah um great thank you not all good thanks mate okay thanks here cheers I threw him my saying let me guess because I got excited and then realized it would have ruined the experiment we would have completely tamed in the experiment no sorry wow it's close it's close I reckon he's

I reckon he's goodbye probably let him down but I don't think he lost it taking over the family empire on a goodbye But I threw him, I threw him. He was rushing. He was rushing. He was, he felt rushed to get you off the phone. He did.

But again, both of these young men have done a huge solid to a customer. I'd say he's greeting. It has nothing to do with their business and they're just chucking coal somewhere. I say his greeting was better. Better? I mean that as six. I liked the comedy in I haven't looked at a tractor things. Well, I've never looked at a tractor.

That gave us a giggle. Yeah. That's good gusto. That was equal for me. eagerness to help at eight and a half. Convincing of what their company does, that's got to be equal again. He almost went by the same script. I thought we were talking to the same guys before.

And then the goodbye, you're right, Jack. That's where he's losing it. I had him at a four on the goodbye. It was fast. I would not say rushed. I would not say he's had enough fun with you. And he's moving. I blame Andy a little bit for going.

Let me guess. I mean, at that stage, he's like, listen, what am I doing on the phone with this guy that wants to guess numbers with me? And isn't doing anything for my business? Let me bump them up then by two points for my mishap. And that gives him a 29-5. To be honest, it's too close to call. Who was the brother that asked us to do this? Nick.

Should we give Nick a call and giving them results? Yeah, yeah, we should. Because the results are in. Here we go. This is Nick, the middle brother. Hello? Is that Nick? Yes, very thing.

Hey, Mitch, Annie, mate. Hey, mate. Great. We are great, Nick. We've got some good news. We are hot off the gusto check of Chris and David. Well, it unfortunately was a slight... It was a slight...

I mean, the boys did really well. Both brothers did well. But I have to preface it with this. A slight fumble on our side of the... fence where Andy... And Nick, to begin with. Yeah, well, Andy interpreted your email saying be a farmer. Yeah.

Andy went in with the cover story that his tractor had, quote, lost grunt. Yeah, that would have been right. That would have been right. This is what it writes. And Nick, Nick says, acting as a farmer who needs a pump fixed on their tractor would be perfect. Yeah. Well, it threw the boys a bit because both of them went, we've never dealt with

tractor. Oh, that's full of it, mate. They're used to all the time. They both Honestly, they both said We've never worked on a tractor. Nick, wouldn't it be more accurate

to say that's more of a coal issue? He does do the... So you've heard the whole story. Yeah, they both directed us in the direction of your uncle, Cole, who does work on tractor because your dad and him split it off.

You've heard everything. They gave us a great story. And that's why they scored so well on the gusto test because you have to look at it through the lens of going essentially here's a customer that represents no revenue to the business at all, but they were still very helpful and keen to get coldic business. So that's why it was amazing.

They almost both followed the same script. We rang Chris first, the older brother, and then David Younger, more of a maverick. And the scores were so close. We've rated at a 315 versus 295. So what we're saying to you, Nick, is we don't have the answer. I wish we had a better answer. If one of them had just gone, you've got to talk to Cole, here's his details, it would have been a clear winner.

But both men, you know, stepped up and looked after Uncle Cole. Perfect. Whose decision is it? Is it your decision against the company? No, I've got nothing to do with it, mate. I left that company a few years ago. That's why you don't know what they do. Exactly right.

It's all changed. No, I think at the end of the day, it'll be both of them who will take it over. But it was just interesting. Well, our data would suggest they should. I think that would be perfect because they're singing from the same hymn book. Perfect tune and perfect harmony because they had it all. So, I mean, that's got to give you and the family some comfort, doesn't it? Exactly, right.

Peace of mind. How good that? And has anyone from HBO got in touch to do a sort of a succession-type story about the family and, you know, Cole? Cole's not in every episode, but he certainly pops in when there's a tractor? Have to think about it. Not yet. That sounds right.

Yeah. Well, thank you, buddy. We look forward to you hearing it back because I think they've done the family proud. Yeah, family's so much, boys. I appreciate your check. See, yeah. Bye. Are you, how heavy a user of chat GPT? I'm going to say how heavy are you? Like, well, I haven't done. Come on. We've got to get Jack's golf scores out. We're going to start tracking everyone's weight. I'm sorry. How heavy are you, mate?

How heavy a user? The last time I got weighed, I can't remember what it was, but it was like for something like a, I don't know, not at the airport, some situation where someone was like, oh, we quickly need to weigh you for something. He would have been going on a helicopter, Jack. Yeah, they don't do it on an airplane.

Yeah, it must have been for it. Like, I think I got a new butler, and he was like, if I'm going to piggyback you, there's an O-H-N-S thing. But I can't remember that was why I just remember going, yeah, but shoes, wallet, phone. Yes, yeah, it's eight kilos in that. There's obviously eight kilos in that.

No, how heavy a chat GPT user are you? How many times a day would you use chat GPT? Four? Yeah, about the same. Because I'm now at the stage where I realize, like, okay, I'm really leaning on it for everything, really. Like, I'm asking, just for asking questions. Not to do work.

No. Oh, no. Just like to go. Just, just, it's really kind of replacing Google. Instead of Google. But then you can't, then I've been taking everything as gospel from it and then realized, like, for instance, the example I have was I was trying to find something in writing for the animation

and it's like a fact about insects. And I asked chat TVT, but because, like, it's a kids program that actually gets fact checked and real people come back. And so. Oh, you try to put misinformation about bugs in there. Exactly. And so they go, you realize that's not true. I'm like, but chat TVT said it.

It was true. So, you know, every time you're correct it, goes, oh, you're absolutely right. Yeah, because, and then you're like, well, just do another check. Because I thought you're reading the whole internet in one second. And you just give, you distill it for me. I try to tell it, when that happens, I try to tell it like, well, remember this now for the next person. Oh, yeah. And it says it will, but I don't think it is.

I have one. Well, I've begun to worry what it thinks of me because now it knows you so well. And this newer versions of it, like, it didn't used to do this, but I noticed more and more, it will be like, well, remember, you were talking about kayaking three weeks ago. If this is about, if this is about a kayak paddle, then you would look for this. You're like, okay, so you're getting to know me. So I found the same track where it will go, I asked it for a fried rice recipe. And then it was like, do all this, you know, do the rice like this.

And then put the chicken in at the end. And I knew what it meant was you have cooked the chicken previously. and then there's the final bit you put the diced chicken in at the end. But to be a smart ass, because it just said put the chicken, I go, oh, really, put it in raw. I would have thought you'd cook it. And it goes, no, of course, you must cook chicken. You must always cook chicken.

Yes, I didn't say cooked chicken, but you must cook chicken until it's like 68 degrees or whatever. That's when it's safe to serve to people, blah, blah, blah. But I never go back and go, no, I know, I'm just joking. So the last interaction it has with me is me going, oh, so you put it in raw, do you? And it going while I corrected it. So it thinks I'm an idiot because it doesn't know I was joking because I, it thinks I genuinely went, oh, I served it raw, everyone hated it.

This is a terrible recipe. So every time I was smart-a-lawed, he thinks I'm being an idiot. The other thing I worry it thinks about me is because of this last interaction rule. Just quickly, are you a pleased and thank you person? Yeah, I remember reading. Didn't the head of Chachibitigo? Yeah, it cost billions of, like, hours of electricity every time someone says, thank you. Yeah, because they have to process it.

So they're asking us not to say please and thank you. I like to be friendly to it, though. Yeah. Well, maybe in that tone, here's the thing that I really worry about. It's this last interaction thing where you go, like, it must think, I know I'm a pretty erratic person anyway, but it must be like, who is this guy? because there was an incident where one of the kids got whacked in the face with a tennis racket. You know, my daughter was a genuine accident from my son,

but there was, I thought maybe she had a bit of a broken nose reasonably, and dad was on duty. So whilst trying to keep the vibe up, I was also going, how would you check if a child has a broken nose? And like, what are the signs? And I explained, I said, you know, we have a bit of an incident here where a young man's accident. me in the back, so we can hit a young lady in the face. You know, how would you check?

And so it goes, it's like, okay, you're doing the right thing. Look for this. Look for that. And then it's like, the worst thing that could happen, I wrote it down, was like, it's a septal hematoma. And I'm like, okay, what's that? And then it goes, septal hematoma is like a blood blister or pooling of the blood, like, you know, in the nose.

Could go onto the brain, could, whatever. Would you like a checklist of how to check for a septal hematoma? yes please gives you a list like look up their nose find a flashlight that kind of thing and then of course i go and look and it's fine like he's fine we just have a bag with frozen peas on her nose and life goes on but then the next thing i asked chat's your pt he doesn't know that the emergency is over so it's given me like five pages of like child facial health care and it's like you must check for this of course if there's any dizzy swelling nausea and then out to it out of nowhere i go how long should you put a mini apple pie in the air

right for. Okay. All right. So is your daughter okay or have we just moved on? They don't circle back. Yeah, because all in the one thread. So I always expected to be like,

he is this guy? Like I thought he's a kid out of facial injury. And he's just like, how do I take out pants? How would I alter the waist of a pant? Well, again, daughter head should be the priority. Ando, I thought we'd do some upset Andes because we do have a ton of them that are piling up. But speaking of piling up, I actually wanted to start with a quick, a bit of a personal upset Andy.

I haven't been to your place for a little while. Our catch-ups have been outside the house. Yes. But one thing always strikes me about your house that I have a lot of at my house and you don't have. at your house is piles of what piles of things stuff like yeah i i think and that doesn't even know what i'm talking about he just is blankly looking at me what do you mean mine's near the fruit bowl yeah because the fruit bowl's in the corner of the kitchen yeah the fruit bowl pile what do you mean but what's in that i get exactly everyone knows everyone knows what's in the fruit bowl pile so

all right well as a test ando yeah i have texted Jack a list of things, a list of household items. We're going to play a game called Where Does It Go? Okay. Where does this live? Because that's how Piles form is like it's miscellaneous stuff that doesn't have a home. Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I know you mean.

But you and O's say in your house where it would go. Yeah. If it has a home. And I'll say where the home is in my house. And then, Jack, I guess you just press correct or incorrect, depending on if you think we're telling the truth. Okay, go for it. Jack, what's the first one? Small tape measure.

Where does it go in your house, Andy? So that is in the pantry, in a box, alongside, we never need this, but needle and thread and some lighters. What's the box labelled? That's the annoying one. It's called bits and bobs. Very good. Fruit ball pile.

No, that's correct. That's where it goes at our house. Okay, Jack, next. adhesive backing for a whiteboard that was never applied. Yep, that's in a box in the pantry. This is crazy. And it's called tape and hooks. Great.

At my house, Jack, that goes fruit ballpark. No, Jack, that's correct. That's where it goes past. Sorry, I like that. Hair clip is the next one. Hair clip. Hair clip. Oh, I wouldn't have one.

What's a hair clip? What do you mean before? Fruit bowl pile. me. What I know? I'm like for kids' hair or something. Yeah, I suppose like maybe at Beck would have a, but I'm true. I'd probably have more unicorn hair clips at my husband than you do it.

Beck would be told to put them in her section. Where's her section? Well, just probably in there, I don't know, I don't go there, but probably in the bathroom where she's got every single closet in the bathroom. No, no, yeah. Fruit ball pile. So you have no poles in your house that build up with stuff? No.

That's unbelievable, isn't it? What's the next one? A double adapter. Oh, electrical. Fruit bowl pile That's a bulky item though So you tuck it under the rim of the fruit bowl To keep appearances

A sea cell battery That's in leptical Yeah Fruit bowl One usually one battery You're like okay one will keep you here Until your friend shows up And the key whose corresponding lock is unknown

I would never have one Fruit ball pile Let's jump into that All right, good to know Everything is neat and practical Because that's the way he likes it But what if it wasn't Upset Andy

Pile-free house What a dream Someone said to me the other day You can't be much fun to hang with Me No me I thought that was saying to you, Amish can't be much of my background. And I went, oh, why are you saying that?

You're like, oh, you come across a real stiff, you know, on the show. And I went, oh, but when you're hanging out with people, you don't do those things. But I'm always early and up for extra fun because I don't have to put away batteries and double adapters. You're always early. You're never early. Well, no time to dig into that. Hannah, Hannah. This is a fun guy.

Ohoy, ohoy. Oh, hi, Hannah. What have you got to upset Ando? So one of my friends, he works drive-in, drive-out, who works two weeks on, one week off roster. We're having coffee, and I asked him, when's his next three week off? He pulled his calendar out, to my surprise,

which was a screenshot of the Apple calendar. He then uses the edit tool to scribble on with a red line to show which days he is working and isn't working. Yeah, that's not great. I can see that upsetting. It's right in one of these absolute pet peeves, which is improper calendar or spreadsheet use. But why not just use the app?

Well, I did ask this, and he learned something that day. He thought if he wanted to spread something over two weeks, he would have to do 14 individual entries. But I showed him the aspect of the app where you can go, you know, from the first of the month to the 13th of the month, this is a continuing event. Oh, he didn't. So he was drawing the line.

Like, yeah, going across the day, see what it was a time saver. All right, love it. Yeah. Thank you, Anna. Love it. Sonia, that's hot on the, uh, up to Adi. That's annoyed him. Sonia, ahoy to you.

Ahoy. What have you got to upset Ando? Okay, so a while ago, we noticed a toilet shut off valve wasn't working so the water was going through the system. And my husband figured the best solution was just turn the tap off at the wall, which means every time we go to the toilet and want to flush, we obviously have to turn it back on. But it's situated behind the toilet. So the only way to get there is to basically put your face into the toilet bowl every time.

So you try to remember at least to do it before you sat down. So you don't have to build up the amount? Yeah, yeah, exactly. No, that's a fix instant. That's a stop what you're doing, go get your tools and try and sort out immediately that one. Oh, that sounds like a long time. It does sound like they've come up with a good solution. I mean, what's the difference between a button and a tap?

That's true. Having to put your, having come face to face is what you've just emptied yourself of, I think is the real problem for me. Good one. Thank you, so, one, Sonia. Dylan. O'oy, boys in the weasel. Oh, wait.

Not too many siggies for you today, please. Have you had more than 20, Andy? I've had zero. Simple question. He's very good. Dylan, what have you got to upset Ando? All right. So my brother-in-law, Brad, recently got one of those wall-mounted retractable hose reels for the garden.

Must be very nice. The only problem is he hasn't. mounted it to the wall. So every time he uses it, the entire unit just drags along behind him. It works. Oh, no, I hate that. Yeah, so eventually the other side of the hose would grab

providing enough tension for him to get a little bit of the reel coming out, I'd imagine. Yeah, it doesn't get very far. Nah, that's awful. That's the worst we've had today, I reckon. It's so fast. It's so fast and undone. It's the loosest.

Thank you, Dylan. I do feel him because I feel like every time I use, I do luckily have the similar system that I inherited at this house. I didn't put it in, and it's fixed to the wall. But any time I'm using one that's one of those like lawn stand hose reels, what are you meant to do there? You meant to take all the hose out you need first and then use it and wind it up? Because I just start walking and then it flips to its side and it's drag.

along and it always freaks out. Tell me, Andy, you're the kind of guy that seems to know the system. You meant to pull the hose out first. Yeah, I tend to just put, I don't like them. Can we put that out there? Yeah, we can, we can. You know, you'd prefer the fix mount like Dylan's talking about, but then you just secure your back, normally left foot for me,

on the sand as I wind out a bit and then walk off with it. And so you guess, you estimate how much you'll need? Yeah. But I never know where I'm going. Because if I have to use a hose, quite often I'll freestyle. It might squirt something, clean something, water something. You have a plan before you unreal it. Yeah, yeah, it's a set routine.

Not Lucy. Final one. Lucy, a hooy to you. Ahoy. Happy birthday, Andy. And congratulations on the SP, Hamish. Thank you very much, but we both plan not to mention those things. Superior bladder, Lucy, bladder.

Talk us through it, Lucy. What do you got from upset me? So my husband is really fast and loose like Hamish, and whenever we're going anywhere and he's tying up his shoelaces, he just quickly ties him enough so that they hold for like the length of time he thinks he'll be walking for. That is such a delicate call. That's such a minute effort saving to go,

I'm only going to put 60% pressure on this knot because I don't have done to pull it tight. That's great, but I would hate that. And does he sometimes underestimate and they loosen before he gets there? Oh my God, basically every time. Yeah, and will he walk a long time without even doing them up? Because that's the part that I get really worried. Well, I look down, as soon as I see an untied shoe lace, I have to sort that out straight away.

I can't let it ride. It's so fair. Oh, no, he's walking along and it's flapping away. And I'm reminding him maybe double knot it next time, but he just says he doesn't have time. Double knot. Jesus, I'm not running across Australia. Never need a double-knob. I feel like that's the difference between us in a nutshell.

You look down and see a loose shoe lace, and what is your thought? Your thought is like, okay. I might trip. I might not be able to get the speed I need if I need to quickly move off. I better sort that out. Honestly, I'm not even trying to be funny. I'll look at it.

I'll look down and I go, that's a shame. because I know that's not the optimal way for the laces to be. And, yeah, I'll have to look into that. No way is it happening now. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamish and Andy.com.