Hamish & Andy - 2025 Ep 308 - A Guinness (and a) World Record

Episode Date: September 10, 2025

After months of planning, meticulous engineering, and the looming threat of catastrophic neck injuries, it’s finally here. It’s Tall Hat Day. Who wears the hat? Will the record fall? And can Jack beat the traffic? With the trustworthy listeners watching on, Hamish, Andy and Jack take us on one of the wildest rides in the pod’s history.

A Listener Production Many months ago Hamish mentioned in passing the Guinness World Record for the world's tallest hat But that's not really something this show would be interested in Everyone's had a crack at a Guinness World Record

Every single radio show in the world And we've kind of always viewed it as With all due respect to our brothers and sisters in radio It's kind of easy, low-hanging fruit, yeah Like if you got a hack job If you can, if you like that content, with all jurispractic content. However, the sheer volume of emails suggested the boys should change their minds. It struck a nerve, everyone's then, so many people put on board.

Truly stuck a nerve can be a bad thing. It's struck an erogenous zone. More accurate. So it's hit one of them and people feel good about it. Don't they? But if you're going to break a record, you need to know the rules. How far do you have to walk with the hat on? Does it have to have a brim?

And it was 10 metres? Then wear a must walk 10 metres while wearing the hat. Okay. The hat must be wearable and worn. It must be a functioning hat. It's not. And this is the hat you wear around? Yep.

Yeah. Just to the beach and stuff. Good sun protection. People don't love it when I wear it to the movies. But yeah. The offers of help started flooding in. Offering their assistance. Grace, 21.

I am fourth year aerospace engineer. Hired. The world's tortoise hat has piqued my interest and I believe I can design a 10 metre tall hat that meets all requirements. As to not take the record from you, I would merely like to do the design and build the hat for you and you take all the glory,

which is something that does appeal to us. That's generally... referred terms. And design ideas were blowing them away. Adam is having a thing. He goes, think I got the perfect solution. Tall chef's hat, but made out of the same material, the wavy tube men at the front of car dealerships are made of.

Then we just pump her full of helium. Helium's not a bad idea. Helium's a good idea, and I think we absolutely employ it. You really would need the chin strap, wouldn't you? Man, it could create the hilarious miss hat where Andy floats away. early on the question of neck strength was raised this comes from nat hello boys just listening to you deliberate

who would wear the world's toss hat had immediate concerns about little boy jack and his extremely weak neck I must remind you that while you were bringing peace to the north in Darwin you travelled on a slightly bumpy road this resulted in Jack kinking his neck

and ruling him out for the day so I think it's best of you Hamish or Andy to carry the load and the help of an outsider was floated Daniel Ricardo because they have to have Formula One drivers have to have really strong necks I feel like of all the years of his career to test drive the world's tallest hat

this is the one Yeah but I think he regards himself as being pretty cool So you gotta have a cool hat What are you saying mate What are you saying? We haven't even built that out, mate You can't say it's just You don't think a 10 metre

I think a 10 metre I think a 10 metre that's going to be cool As always the boys were looking for loopholes Is there anything in the rule book to rule against them? Not saying a chin strap, but you create a neck brace for the wearer that keeps the head very stable, but the neck brace does not connect to the hat. Could you hide it in the collar off the shirt?

Yeah, a cravat. Yeah, but the hiding is the problem. The word hiding is the worry for me. We're not going to know, but we're not going to. Yeah. That's right. Remember? Yeah.

We are going to wear a cravat. We're not going to hide anything. I might wear that big bag for a bat. There was a lot of palava and cost associated with an official Guinness World Record. Was it worth it? Don't the Guinness World Records have a duty of like, if you say you're going for a world record, they should really come out and be there to look at it? No, that would be if they're a government body, I suppose.

They're not the police where if they hear a crime happening, they have to go. They're not like the positive. of police, where if they hear something good happening, they must attend. There's a guy getting in a swimming pool of baked beans. Hold the phone, roo, woo, roo. But deploy two of our agents there because we've got some of the longest nose ring.

Do not get in that bath. We're wearing the most amount of women's suspenders until we are next to you, and we count the suspenders. If a record is broken and someone from the beer company wasn't there to measure it, but others were who were just as trustworthy, did it still happen? I say yes.

So do I. And I think... Yeah, I say yes too. And I say they should. Well, that's three yes. I mean, two more OKs and we've got a full house. You can't argue with that. I think we get people's officials to be there on the day.

Trustworthy people. Listeners of our show, that will authenticate it. And we'll all know the rules and we'll play by the same guidelines. But we get, let's say, ten government officials. Things a lot. Five of the people. People's officials. Speaking of, is it worth it?

Andy had received a breakdown of what a carbon fibre hat might cost to make. It's crashed to talk about numbers, so I'm just going to hold it up on a piece of paper. Well, you can't even say it for the podcast listeners. I don't think so. Do you think it would ruin people's enjoyment of this? I do. This is the minimum cost. No, it's not.

It can't be. You're not doing the Euros thing where they... The decimal point in the wrong spot, I? That is the best possible outcome price. There's no way it's worth it. It's more expensive than con-con boys. But what price can you put on a world record? Maybe the price of your neck.

That's what I'm worried about. Worried about the possibility of catastrophic neck failure. Given projected weight of hat could be up to 20 kilos. What? What? It's a 20-kilogram hat. That's huge. That's huge.

Of course it is. It's the tallest in the world. It's never been done. So to help tame such a large hat, some help would be needed. Alongside, you've got two people that are sitting there corraling the hat. Yep. So very, very long sticks, maybe four to five metre long sticks with a big rubber stopper or a big buffer or even just a big soft catcher.

Yes. Which means if it starts to fall, you've got a hat. tamer that can catch it and obviously the record attempts over for that particular run like you haven't said the record but it stops the hat making it all the way to the ground and dying. Most important thing is that have the hat and neck intact

another run. Yeah, mainly the hat. We've got we actually have two backup necks in the room and no backup hats. So this would be a team effort but only one person can wear the hat. Do we let the hat decide?

How? Do we, when we make the hat We tip it upside down, put two names in the hat. Pick a name out of the world stalls out. Yeah. So all that remained was to attempt a non-Ginnis, people sanctioned, world record. Not anti-Ginnis and I might even suggest we go and have one to celebrate. Oh, would they like that, do you think, or do you think, is that a... Wouldn't it be nice to be able to say, and you know what the other day, we had a Guinness and a world record?

We had a Guinness and a World Record. And when we post a picture of it, we can just do Guinness, comma, World Record. That's the caption. Tuesday, the 9th of September 2025. 2 p.m. Org's warehouse in the outer suburbs. Record day. A day that you'll live in podcast history.

This is awesome. We are out here at our big hogs factory and it's a big factory. We're in his warehouse. We're in the book warehouse. We're actually in the same room. Andy and I went and visited the Power Moves books earlier, Jack. Oh, well, I signed 1,000 Power Moves books here. And we appreciate that.

Well, it's like $6.50. It's so funny. There's also a different warehouse. It did look different. Is it different? I mean, it looks like a warehouse, but nothing's really ringing a bell. A different suburb. It's different suburb.

Yeah, yeah, he's changed. But anyway, just to paint the picture, we've come in, there's a huge structure up that's meant to be the launch platform. That actually looks like the most dangerous part yet. That looks, to be honest, flimsy as hell. I think they're worried about health and safety. The most dangerous thing will be that structure falling on any of us. Well, it's an eight metre high, just wooden kind of frame.

Then there's a giant red curtain hanging down the front. I mean, I wasn't really across the launch platform thing. And I don't think a lot of listeners were, though. Sounds like he's trying to distance himself from this. I would also love to distance myself as well. I remember taking one look at an eight-four piece of paper and said they had a tower and it was like, what's this for? This is on you because this is all this stuff that you were like,

I'll be revealed on the day. Remember all that? Yeah, there was the pretend conversations like we had some sort of agency over it, but he wasn't really asking us. He's not on my head. Why do we need it? Why do we need that? We don't need it.

Is it for safety in case the hat falls either way? No, no. I think it's for theatre. Well, it was so someone could be high enough to help put it on the wearer's head. And I think that's still the case where someone can stand up on the platform. There's another platform coming up and behind that.

But why does the tower need to be eight minutes tall? Well, that was just for theatrics. It was just so then you can draw a curtain. The giant recurton, well, it doesn't look like it's a split curtain. It's just a long piece of fabric. So that's just going to tangle the hat up. I think the... Wait, is the idea, we walk through the curtain to reveal it.

I know, I don't think that won't work. No, the curtain's meant to... The curtain was meant to come apart to walk through, but that's a one piece of fabric. Yeah, I'm not sure about it. Easily the hardest part of the walk is having to get through a 10-meter-high curtain with the world's largest hat on. Why have we made an eye for ourselves?

It's not wipeout. What do we've got three big red red... balls next we have to jump across. We can bring scoop up another record which is like, yeah, exactly. I'm not in tallest curtains. Okay, so let's just paint the picture though.

We've got a launch platform which was not necessary, but it stands around about seven metres in height. It's a large straped curtain in front of it that I think will have to remove the safety reasons. It's sort of a person who's going to stand inside there. Yeah, imagine like a rocket launch, like a SpaceX rocket launch,

but they also have put curtain over the rocket. And then they're going, hey, this might get the rocket tangled up in. And they're like, yeah, but it's good for theatrics. Yeah, but we've got space people in there. I think we just stick to what we do, which is space or hats, depending on which story we're in. But also, for theatrics, so we're going to see the hat beforehand. Who's it for?

I don't know. It's not like we're live streaming this around the world. Well, I mean, it will be exciting to see someone come out from behind the curtain on its head for the first time. It's not seeing the hat for the first time. But again, I am nervous about it. Should we go have a look at the hat? Yeah, let's see the hat. Is the hat in the building?

The hat's in the building. It's arrived by a semi-trailer already. I'm interested to find out what they got the weight to because that is going to be important news for us and our necks. God, let's go and see the hat. Lying nonchalantly on the warehouse floor, a six-meter carbon-fiber beauty, designed by Grace and manufactured by Sam and Freddie,

from top stage advanced composites. Wow, standing over the hat. Let's start with you, Grace. You did a lot of the design work. How are you feeling about it? It's much bigger in person. I'm very excited to see it vertical. I feel like it would be much bigger than I anticipate.

But the way that Sam's built it is like very, very well done. I'm very, very impressed. I'm very excited to see how this goes. Okay, so you're happy with the result. Oh, I'm happy with the result. I still think it would be hard to walk in. That's all point. I think it will be a challenge, but this is probably the best level to go off.

How do you feel hearing the compliments to your work there, Sam? Relieved. I mean, you know, all of us at top stage, like we've put a lot of time with this. I didn't have a beard when I started this. Like, that just tells you how long we've been going. Congratulations. Beautiful beard. Thank you.

You're having one of the beard balls. Exactly. Just for the carbon fibre fans out there, when you look at the joins on this, What makes you say that this is so well constructed? Is it the smoothness of the joints? Yeah, just the smoothness of the joints. I mean, talking with Sam as well, they've done a lot of different layering,

so it's heavier at the bottom, trying to get that centre of mass down. They've done a really well-done job. So how thick are we at the bottom, like say for the first two metres of the top hat, how thick are we there, Sam? Off memory where three plies thick versus one at the top. And what's a ply?

A layer of kind. No, just how many mill? You have to ask Freddie for that. It's only only only five-ply at his house. He has three-plies still very thin. We're about a mill at the biggest point. Wow. So what did our final weight come in as?

3.8 kilos. Oh, wow. That's so good. I think all next should be okay. Congratulations. That is fair to light. We might float away. It might be like the hat from up.

So it becomes... We were looking at 15 kilograms at once at one point. So is it too late to make this a... 20 meter hat? I mean, we've got all this weight to spin. I know how much Carmen Freddie bought. Well done. That's a shock to the system, but also triumph for our necks. Oh my God. And our family so that we can now still turn to them on any long car ride if we are in the driver's seat and they're in the passenger seat. It's fethylite. A lot of people worried that in a triumphant moment, obviously the hat will come down. Just be aware that's where most of the people are at the finish

one. Well, you can't hurt anyone with this hat. It's only three kilos. Is it fragile, Sam? Will it smash if it hits the ground? I think the ground might smash. This thing's strong. Really? Oh, what a flex from top stage. Whether this record would be achieved today, nobody knew yet.

But standing by to witness and judge our hero's attempts were a panel of five of our most trustworthy listeners. Hi, my name's Melissa. I'm a trustworthy individual because I'm a nurse, which is the most trustworthy profession. My name's Ben. I'm a registered surveyor and a justice of the peace. My name's Alex. I'm an account director in a brand agency and I'm trustworthy because years

ago I declined 10,000 pound for the apron I was wearing. Hi, I'm Callum and I'm very trustworthy because I have Andy's personal email address and I've never shared it. Hi, I'm Alicia and I'm trustworthy because I used to be a lifeguard. We had a hat, a giant launch platform and a judgment panel, but not yet a pilot for the hat. It was time to chat to the trustworthy listeners and find out who that pilot would be. A hush over the waiting crowd at the moment, isn't it? There are about 50 people to launch. We're here with our trustworthy listeners.

We'll start with you, Melissa. You're a registered nurse. Yes, I am. I've noticed that you've brought a long and neck brace for us. I did ask also that you wore a tooth mouth guard, but I apparently got a talk so you can't wear it. He has a habit of tooth accidents. I know. I've been listening for a long time and I know about your teeth.

He's known as a clump. How is the teeth ever going to be exposed? I mean, the hat kind of... You find a way. We thought... I would say the person not wearing the hat was more likely to get their teeth hit. That could be you as well.

Yes. We worry. I'll make sure that I'm catching right underneath. If you fall, most people tend to put their hand out and get a fush injury and they're not protecting their mouth. Do you know what a fush injury is? No. Fall onto outstretched hand.

Really? Thank you. I'm not the clumsy one. I'm not the acumen in one. Do you have children with those injuries? Yes. Yes, I've done them. And then I've had to say the kids, I can't wrestle today because I've got a foosh.

Melissa, what is the ethical dilemma if, let's say between Annie and I that there's a medical condition that we maybe should declare before the drawing of the hats, but we worry it will rule us out. How often do you see in a line of where people just keep things a bit quiet because they don't want to be excluded from piloting a hat? or another important job. So in the emergency department, the ICU that I work in, we don't generally come across that.

Although people do keep things to themselves, but it tends to come out during the problem. Are you carrying an injury into this? I'm wondering if you are or I am. I'm not, but I'm just saying you've got to put your best person out there. What are you carrying in? I'm fine. I'm okay.

I'm okay. How importance is, I mean, balance would be important for this. No vertigo. Anyone got vertigo? No. Anyone been drinking? No. No.

We went out. We actually declined the beer. We declined. We did. We're so proud of ourselves. We're actually very good boys. Yes. No.

Yes. We were at a quick question. So you're on medications. It's all really good. Illicit or prescribed? No, either. Yeah. I mean, what are you got?

No, thank you. All right. Well, I feel like we're ready to draw. Yeah, no, I didn't want to bring it up, but months ago, I did get vertigo. I had an inner ear problem, but I'm good now. Surely that's not a problem now, you know how light that is. Exactly, and I've been just embarrassing for that. That would be embarrassing.

Yeah, it was my daughter's birthday, and we went to a play centre, and I had to get out of the play set ground, and I vomited. That's terrible. Because I went upside down. So as long as I say, head over feet, I'm good. Yeah, I had a chat for myself, I'm all good. All right, as our trustworthy official, We're going to now pick who is going to be wearing the hat today.

It would be a triumph for that person individually, but mainly a triumph for the show. So I'm excited to either be as a catcher or as a wearer. Jack, you've devised the idea today. In my pocket, I have the world's smallest, tallest hat. This is a perfect replica. Jack, well done on making this, by the way. I know you're not busy with no job and everything,

but still, you made that this morning. I made that this morning. You've progressed further with that than your sauna from the last three months. Well, it is a complete hat, so I guess you're right. So inside this little cardboard hat, which I have painted also, is... Where's you going to paint? It's actually the colour of our kitchen.

Wonderful. Great, so just to describe it, Jack does have a hat, probably the size of their top hat and monopoly, but it's extended directly proportional to the size of our top hat. 15 centimetres. It's about the size of a pencil. Yeah, that's right. And inside are two thin bands of paper.

One has Andy's name on it, the other has Hamish's name on it. Are you ready to find out who will pile the hat? Maybe we should let an official select which piece from the tweezers. Yeah, sure, okay. I mean, but I made the hat. Yeah, but you could know which... All right, okay, let them pick it out. Okay, your turn.

All right. I can see two pieces of paper just for clarity. God, you're so trustworthy. This is great. Hang on, just before you do, Andy, I want you to know. If it's you. It's the best man for the job. I agree, mate.

And if it's you, I think we should do a redraw. Someone want to count me down. Okay, here we go. Three, two, one. Oh my God. Oh, my God. The Virida guy. The Woozy guy with Vertigo.

The Woozy guy with Vertigo. He's going to throw up on the hat. I know. I believe in you. Let's do this thing. You've got my full support. My only worry is it's going to be too easy. Thank you very much.

So, Hamish. would pilot the hat, with Andy and Jack as hat tamers. But how would Hamish's wife, Zoe, feel about him putting his neck on the line? Only one way to find out. We're now in the breakout room, which is normally where factory workers come to have... Really nice, is it? Probably a dare ice coffee and a donut, but it's changed down. Got your water fountain, big double fridge.

What we require is a man with the people's expectations resting on his head. No weight on my shoulders. No. You're looking about 40 centimetres too low. the expectations are up on my head. Exactly. How are you feeling it's now real for you? Yep.

I know what I would have felt if your name came out. There would have been a secret part of you going, yes. Mixed emotions. Your neck will be fine, but you also won't be held accountable should it not happen. Oh.

I'm not here to blame you. Oh, Jack, that's exactly what we're here to do. Completely honest, hadn't crossed my mind that we're not achieving this today. Yeah, me neither. Now that that has entered my mind, yeah, there is a good scapegoat, isn't there, Jack? Pilot or car error.

They always had that in the Grand Prix, don't they? It's the car quick enough. And we're not going to really blame the heart. No. You might. I might. Are you going to call Zoe and say that... Yes.

Very big day, Blake household. Today, my daughter is auditioning for the role of Ursula, the Sea Witch in The Little Mermaid, her school production, and Dad's wearing the world's talls out. Wow. Wow. She is very busy. Yeah, she's always busy because she actually has a real job.

No, in particular today is a busy day. Okay. She might not answer. But we're busy. I know, we're very busy. So what world record is she breaking today? Yeah. Busiest woman.

But let's, do you know what? If she is breaking the record for being busiest woman, wouldn't it be even more impressive to take a phone call in the middle of all that busyness and be even more busy? Yeah, tip it off at the edge. Okay. You're more scared to pilot the hat or call your wife? Honestly, he calls Zoe in the middle of her day.

That's what it seems like. Hi, honey. Hello, darling. How are you? I'm just here with Andy and Jack. Hey, Zoe. Hi. I know you're busy.

Well, I know you're busy. Just only that you know that the pilot selection for who's wearing the tall hat just happened. Yes. And your husband will be wearing the hat. This is great news. Yes, great. That's what we'll hope you for. I'm very busy as well, so I'll jump off the phone in a sec,

but Andy's got one question. If he does have any neck injuries, what kind of nursing can he expect from the household, yourself and the kids included? Oh, no. Is this the thing? Could this really be a thing? It could be a thing.

It's the main concern from our health and safety people and the insurance company. Oh, I'll probably send him straight to the osteo, There we go. Yeah, outsource it. Okay. No worries. Thanks, honey.

Good luck with everything you've got going on. I'll send you pictures of the hat. Okay. Work hard, boys. You do all great. Thanks, honey. I've got to go busy, but. I love you, but.

Wow. Yes. Well, that's good. That's a nice, that's a nice endorsement, though. Okay. We did say that the top hat wearer would be in a tux. It makes sense. It will look silly to wear a top hat in a puffer jacket,

which I'm in now. So I guess I better get dressed for the big show, the big dance. And then, Jack, you and I need to switch on. I feel like you might turn... You especially, Jack, you are feeling a little bit like a spectator today. That's how I felt like as well. Don't you reckon? You felt like he was one and done with his tiny hat.

I think you've just slipped into warehouse mode where you were just wandering around. No, no, no. We don't have to start the playing game because you might... I know you're just preparing for fingers to be pointed later I am laying some ground work. We don't have to start that now. No, I know what my job is.

Catch the hat if it tilts either way. Gently. Gently. Gently, and don't do it, don't make such a sharp movement that it would spook me and cause an error. I would hate to speak,

spook you. And I'm telling you now, I'll be there on your left or you're right, so expect there to be some movement as I move alongside you. I will expect reasonable movement, but if the hat starts to fall and I can't get it back,

I hope it's not because you've I hope it's not because you were moving in an unpredictable fashion. Because when someone gets spooked and when someone gets startled, it's unconscious. You can't consciously not be startled. Well, it will be somewhat unpredictable because you've never seen me move with a giant pole with a hook on the end. I've never moved with a giant pole with the hook on the end. I'm just saying I hope unconsciously it doesn't startle me.

I don't think it will. It might. Okay, so I'll have the pole from the get-go. Andy's going to help you put the hat on. And then I'm going to race back down it and also... And you'll grab a pole. Yeah, but I'll do it really calmly in a way that you couldn't possibly be startled.

The handle of the pole, is it a matte finish? Oh, our pole? No, it's metallic. It's metallic. It looks like... So light can bounce off it. Yeah. But where indoors, there's no sun going to reflect into your eyes.

Yeah, I hope that doesn't start on me. You're not... Not a crow that gets startled by mirrors and won't land on the farmer's crops. I hope not. At the time, my head will be getting pressed into my neck and the blood flow will be restricted to my head. So that could happen. I hope that doesn't start on me as well.

Do you want blinkers like a horse would work? In all seriousness. Just move appropriately. I will. How many attempts, do you get it? I believe you can get it. I am. How many attempts do you reckon?

I'm honestly worried that this would be anti-climatic because he just be like he smashed it. Is there an amount of attempts where you relinquish the hat? 30. Okay. We're going to stay here that long. You got something else on, mate? No, I just thought, like, after 10, why we get bored of it?

We've been building up for six months. We're not going to wander off because we had 30 attempts. It seems like a lot, doesn't it? Well, 30. Then we'll get, like, then we'll be going home with the traffic. Oh. I think 30's a lot. Guys, I'm going to do it in a few.

I'm just saying... 30 feels like... I actually think it should be left up to the pilot to go, mate. Neck fatigue should be when... Sub me out. Sub me out, because I think the more attempts, should something happen when we get down and we go, oh, okay, this is actually way more of a head balancing challenge

than we thought. I think the more you do it, the more you get used to... I agree. I agree. I agree. And so you want to fish me out and he goes... If it goes through home and he relinquishes due to net fatigue, goes through me, want to go at it. Bearing in mind, the traffic will be horrendous by then.

At this point, we might as well keep going through the traffic and go home at night. After the traffic. They don't do too many launches at NASA just based on. We're reporting the mission. What happened? Oh, mate, obviously the time we get it all back in the shed. That's five o'clock. No way am I driving at school pickup time.

No way. Let's get into this. So after months of talk, design and construction, it was finally time to let the hat do the talking. Would Haim get vertigo? Would Jack distract him? Would they smash the hat or the record? And most importantly, would they beat the traffic home?

Let's find out. Pretty weird to have something on your head that's as high as the roof. Hope that backlight doesn't distract him when he's putting a big hat on. It's not about being distracted, about being startled. With the hat upright for the first time, the daunting task of protecting it was becoming apparent. Hey, Ham, as far as like if it falls, we're going to try and catch it, and then you'll just pick it up.

Yeah, you're just correcting, you know? Then we'll take it off? Yeah, well, then we could just walk back. Okay, we'll try and walk it back. Just correct it and then go again. Okay, cool. But I guess not everyone was laser-focused on the record yet. Jack, did you sneak off?

and get a... A biscuit. I wouldn't mind a biscuit. Melissa made cookies. Melissa made cookies. Yeah, I made cookies. Oh, Melissa. Oh, I'm not going to do this with low blood sugar.

Will that be good for vertigo or bad? They're really good. Blood sugar. Oh my gosh, yeah. Thank you so much. Oh, yum. With a mouthful of chock chip goodness, it was time to talk game plan. I don't want to look down, Ando.

No. I'm going to have my arms out for balance I'll be locked onto the distance if it falls backwards that's the only part that we can't really save you like from the get-go but I reckon Jack you're in charge

of left-hand side round to the front okay that's good and you go through the back and then I'll come around the back here hand and I'll be in charge of my back grabber every world beating athlete needs to start somewhere maybe with some training wheels.

How did you guys feel about me holding the hat for a go? Oh, yeah? Sure. Because I think if your arms can... Gee, it's a tall hat, no. Actually, get your sticks out, because I might need them. Okay. Oh, yeah, you can feel the weight.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's going to be tough. Yep, oh, it's going to be tough, yeah. Oh, yep, yep, yeah. Yeah, you can't chase it. It's a lot of hat. It's a lot of hat to control. Yeah.

Be really nimble, Jack. Yeah. But not in a way that would startle me. We've come so far. Over many months, the time was nigh. Boy, should we give on a bash? Let's give it a bash. Good luck, mate.

Good luck, haim. Good luck. But there was a small issue. Literally. Oh, she's a bit tight. It's sticking into the back of my head. We have a hat size issue. It feels like it's sitting too high on my head.

The swagger and confidence of our hat heroes was starting to slip a little. God, it's so much different when it's on your head than in your hands. Hamish is inside the tower. He's got the hat on his head, but so far he doesn't have control of it on its own. Just feel like it's not quite. Quite steady.

No, it's not. Okay, I'll let you take it to wait. It's, well, big lean back towards me at the moment. Yep, no worries. I mean, he's still got hands holding the hat, but it's leaning against the frame of the tower. And he's just trying to, let's say he hasn't even left yet, but he's just trying to work out how he's going to even balance it. Now it's coming forward. All right, why don't you get it set with the stick?

Yep. I think what we're finding out before we even begin is it's going to be way hard. It's going to be way harder than what we thought. You got it? For Hamish to balance the heart. Now it's just, like, he makes the smallest movement. It just goes haywire at the top. But not a team to be defeated.

They tried to push the hat down and push through with an attempt. Good luck, Haim. Oh, no, it's going forward. Where is it? It's got quick. Do you need help? Okay, it's going to be so hard. Here's the problem.

It's a huge hat? Yeah, it's a big old hat. It just doesn't fit on my head. Do you want it to? It's too shallow. Yeah, we need to like crunch it down your head more, don't we? It's not moving, it's carbon fibre. It's not going to, you can't squeeze your head in it?

My head's too big, though. Do you want to try it on your head? I mean, not in the moment. It looks really hard. God, it's a real Cinderella moment, isn't it? I'm an ugly sister, and it just doesn't fit. Despite some tumbles, luckily the hat had not cracked.

However, there were a few cracks appearing in the teamwork. Get ready to catch, Jack. You're not even paying attention. I'm not ready. I told you, I was worried you were just a bit too loose today. Hamish, because he's got a big hand out of me. No, I'm not. Can you hear that?

Ready? Yep. And letting go. Oh, you're on, you're on, you're on. Old Yaco. Check. Man, catch it earlier. I thought you might have like...

How would I be walking with it? It was at a 45 degree angle. You know that thing where you... What are you waiting to catch it? Get it up to it. Up to it. I thought you wanted to do that thing where you like... You kept telling us that when it's falling you can walk fast into it. Yeah, a little bit like that angle, not...

Not horizontal. We made what? One and a half minutes too. Two minutes? Here. Only eight and a half meters left to conquer. And see if you can tell how the next attempts went just from these noises. And after an hour of unsuccessful attempts, the situation was dawning, Jack.

And after an hour of unsuccessful attempts, the situation was dawning on the boys. It just doesn't fit. It was at this point where the crowd began to wonder what they'd spent their afternoon. I think we've got a situation where this does not fit on our heads. Yeah, I think we've made a giant hat that doesn't feel. Freddy from Top Stage Advanced Composites to the Rescue. Angle grinder in hand.

A larger, haemish. sized opening was carved into the carbon fibre hat. At the moment, it's like balancing a broom on Hames' head. It's not even getting down low enough to him to have any interaction with it. I feel like every millimeter it sinks actually onto your head. Ideally, we want it right near the eyebrows.

And at the moment, it's near the airline. Which is high because, sadly, it is high. With a much bigger hat hole, it was a whole new hat game. Let the record breaking commence. Okay, I have to considerable grinding, extra foam. We're into our second hour now.

Moulding. Oh, so sorry about a traffic, Jack. The traffic's okay. I just want to give a picture for people who are listening at home. Well, I think if we listen back to it, it sounded dejected. But the spirit should be high. Because unlike Cinderella, where the slipper didn't fit the ugly sister, they didn't have a Freddie.

It was able to get the angle grinder out and grind the slipper down and put packing foam in it until the slipper did fit. bit better. Exactly. Freddie is our cobbler. The old head cobbler. I wish there was a name for him. That's as good as we've got. Head cobbler. So yes, it is a much better fit. Now we hopefully have a little bit of leverage, a little bit of control as it's just slow. Some kind of a chance. We just need to get down there. It's an absolute balance challenge. Yeah. You can do it. Balance is my life. How do I manage school drop-off golf and school pick up in one day.

This is what I trained for. That is looking... I'm coming out. I'm coming out, and I say we do it. I have control. That's all you, mate. Give me space. Do not startle me.

So Hamish set himself with a far better fitting hat. It was time to launch again. Three. Two. One. You actually had control. Put me back, put me back. You at least consent it this time.

You actually controlled it. You were doing well to control it. Yep, okay, let's have a few more of those. Yeah. With every attempt and ultimate fail, valuable data was gathered for the next run. And you look very steady and stable. That looks really good. Great.

Ready? Yep. Launching. Okay. Go again. Four meters. Four meters. Okay.

You feel like you're getting better, though, H? I'll say that. Safety was a huge priority. And whilst neck integrity was spoken about a lot, it was ultimately the hat tamers who were in the firing line. Here we go. Pushing up. Oh, this, this, this, this.

Thank God we're wearing helmets. I got hip in the face by Jackson. That was amazing. Oh, God. Like any great athlete, our hat pilot was tweaking technique and incrementally improving with every attempt. I know what I'm going to go for now.

I'm going to go for a much faster one. Okay. Ready? Give us some space shirt? No. But maybe. You did. Shocked away! We caught it.

We caught it. We caught it. We caught it. Yeah, okay. Good data. That's great data. They were so close to success. I believe in you, mate.

It's feeling better. It's feeling much better. And after 23 attempts in a little under two hours... Give us a little bit of space. It happened. Okay, here we go. Three, two, one. Yep, yep.

Kick on, kick on, kick up. Did we get it? Have we done that? Did we get it? Did we get it? Do we get it? Do we do it? So smooth.

Like a night out at a fancy restaurant with a big hat on. It's not for us to decide. We've bought five people here. This is, oh, they're all going in. They're having a harbour. Having a whisper. Oh, no. While the trustworthy listeners decided the team's fate,

they reviewed the footage to see if Andy had touched the hat with his taming stick before or after the 10-meter line. This is the wide angle. We can see everything from start to finish. I never expected it to be so, so just a lay. Wow. It's an absolute bad dash for the border. And our trustworthy expert panel agreed.

Record achieved. Yes! Thanks guys! Sorry I started running. Jack startled me. I didn't know what was going on, and I saw something, and I just panicked, and I ran. Well done, hey.

And so, after many attempts, the beast had been tamed, although to be clear, not tamed by a tamer, just a human neck, and for the required ten meters. Turns out it wasn't just the trustworthy listeners who needed to duck for cover. It was the doubters, the naysayers, and those who believed attempting this was sheer madness. Well, it didn't look like sheer madness to Hamish and Andy.

It looked like a very formal man in a warehouse, going for a well-in-control walk, stopping briefly, turning, changing his mind and spinning the opposite way, then going for a casual and extremely in control run in the opposite direction, until he crossed the line. I guess we better have a Guinness. Get us in a world record. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at hamish and Andy.com.