Hamish & Andy - 2025 Ep 316 - Most Irrelevant Purchase of the Year

Episode Date: November 5, 2025

After a weekend clean-up, Hamish hosts the awards for “Most Irrelevant Purchases” in the Foster-Blake household. More of you Upset Andy, and Power Moves features one for Facebook Marketplace enthusiasts. Hamish proudly declares himself an “angel,” and the boys take “ball golf” very seriously - including a full-course ring-around. Plus, Andy admits how Bec got one over on him.  1. Irrelevant purchases awards 2. Power moves 3. Hamish the angel 4. Upset Andy 5. Ball golf 6. Bec power moves Andy 

A Listener Production Activate your internet Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three Two Sorry, still buffering One Ahoie to me M Hamish.

Pass, pass That's a hard. Because, Andy, just before we started, Andy, goes, oh, this is a hard one. I was like, well, I won't waste everyone's time guessing, you know, people that James Bond knows. Well, yeah, that's what I thought. Isn't that one of the characters in James Bond? Yeah, I'm not going to say a hoie to my cue, Jack, but I am going to say, a hoie to my S.

Jack. Letters of the alphabet. I don't go. You're right. I guess it wasn't that hard. No, it's a popular trio. Ahoe to me, N, Andy. MSN, but they are, it's not Microsoft-related.

Not Messenger. Football fans would know exactly who this is because they are referred to as an unbelievable attacking trio called MSN, the best of all time, apparently. What type of football? Soccer. Oh, ball football. Ball football.

Round ball football. Round ball football. Oh, great. I'm Talasando. Well, who's the biggest M. M buffet? No. No, like I would say more.

famous than him. No, probably the best of all time. Messy. Yes. So it was the, at Barcelona, it was Messi, Suarez and Neymar were the all-time attacking duo of all-time. And to watch them kick the round ball between them. Absolute ballo.

They were the best at roundball football than I've seen. Ahoy also to Ella, who is in Singapore, who went to Hamishanee.com. To let us know what she's been up to. Ahoy, I'm Andy and the little boy. Ella here, Kiwi, Kiwi, living in Singapore. Hey listen, I'm really glad that jingle joust is back on the pod. It's such a great segment, maybe a little bit too great, because I keep finding myself going back to episode 306 to 36 minutes and five seconds

so that I can listen to Smart Machina. I'm just wondering if we can get a Spotify release on this one. Anyway, well, I've got the mic. Shout it to my brother Nowhu introduced me to the pod and is actually getting married in December. A bit of an extreme way to get. get me to come and visit him, but anyway, that's that. Cheers, guys, love the pod.

On your Ella. Jack, would you put out Smart Machina on Spotify? I don't know how you do it. I do have a Spotify page. Yeah, you've released songs. Yeah, I've got a smart machine on it. Yeah, I should do it. And what's the handle for it?

People can find it. I think you just searched Jack Post. All right, yeah, that makes sense. Put it out. Or ask your smart machina how to do it. That's the joy of the song. Hey, you wanted this top of today's pod. Thanks, guys.

Look, it's, to run a, this is a bit of a personal one, a bit of a one that relates to my household, the Foster Blake household. Coming towards the end of the year, we're kind of packing, we're cleaning it, we went through a big clean-up on the weekend. I'm like, let's clean up the house. And I just thought, look, there's,

we all know this, we don't know the problem I have with buying stuff online. Oh my gosh. The hard rush collection outside of your place. It's too good for hard rock. Oh, at least you know, you are good at putting your hand up and going, saying, hey, I never used that

flame-throwed dog lead or whatever it is. And I'm going to move that on. Rather than this board it. I'm curious about what a flame-throwe dog lead would be required. You actually incinerate the poos straight up for it happened. Now we turn around and just point, use the laser site to line it up. Actually, a really good invention, Jack. No, don't have that.

Do you remember I had the flaming wallet when you could open up the wallet and I think it was just for flair. It was when you open your wallet at a bar, there was flames that came out. It was a little squirt of something and it ignited with a flint. It did soak your money. Like, you did, you...

It was terrible. All your stuff smelled of lighter fluid. And there was one incident where my hand quickly, quickly and not dangerously caught on fire. So I'm not having a go at the makers, but you could see why I had to get that from overseas. That was not available in Australia.

I'm going to have a small awards ceremony today for the most irrelevant purchases in the Blake household, the Fosser Blake household this year. Good luck. It's between myself and my wife. We'll see who takes out. Let's run through the top five. And we'll see who takes out the prestigious awards here. Jack, go for it. I might do it third person too, so I feel I don't. feel as bad yeah good idea okay welcome everyone to the most irrelevant purchases in the foster black household coming in at number five the winner is hamish blake congratulations hamish with a therogun now not normally an irrelevant purchase but hamish you purchased this because you believe you had lost your other fairer gun or left it somewhere then when you

bought the new Therogun, you thought, where's a good place to store this? And you thought, I know, under the bed. When you put it under the bed, you found your old Therogun. Thank you. This is a truly expensive and irrelevant purchase. Same make and model. You're slightly updated, so there is a silver lining. All right.

Coming in at number four, the winner of the number four most relevant purchase is Hamish Blake. Oh, well done. Well, congratulations, what was it for, Hamish. You bought not one but three golf training aids that are the same thing. You bought them because you were sure you would lose one and it would be nice to have one at home and one in your golf bag. The training aid is an inflatable ball to put between your arms to keep your arms in the right shape.

Someone at the driving range showed you that a balloon can be used for the same thing and is more convenient. They were right. You did not need three of these custom-made inflatable balls. Oh, well hard, well hard. Coming in three. Coming in, at number three, the winner is Hamish Blamey. Well done.

Well done. Congrats. This is for a recent purchase from the other week. It's the brand new Oakley Mehta sunglasses. These haven't arrived yet, but since you don't use the meta-ray bands that you do own and have own for a year, This was a very curious choice to also buy. Now, the Oakley models with AI on them. Possible fact that you bought it is because a guy on the golf course told you

you can ask your glasses how far it is to the hole. And simply by using the camera on board, your glasses can tell you, you were sold on that fact and you immediately bought a pair. That fact later turned out to be not true. The glasses cannot do that. That is not a feature of the glasses. And he was just saying something, I guess, for the fun of it. Congratulations.

Congratulations, Hamish, and enjoy your new glasses. All right. Coming into the point he is. Coming in at number two. Yes. Number two on the Blake family's most irrelevant purchase list, the winner is. Hamish Blake. Yes.

Yes. He's my favorite guy. He's now in a striking distance of a clean sweep, baby. Number two, most irrelevant purchase was a stretching stick. This six-foot-long stick An incredible piece of equipment was marketed to you as an essential piece of mobility equipment

It would help free up your back, your hips Any number of joints across your body If you own this special stick To lean on while you stretched The stick came in four pieces You had to screw them together After you screw them together And set them up on a yoga mat in the garage

To start doing some stretching You couldn't help but notice the broom stick handle that was also in the garage. Curious as if to whether the broom handle provided the same benefits as the four-piece stick you'd bought, you tried the broom handle. It was the same. You did not need a four-piece screwable stick.

You did not need to own that. Well done, Haynes play. It's also quite heavy and a real nuisance. Now the big one. Ladies and Germans, you've stuck around this long. It's been a long ceremony, but this is what we're in it for. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the big one. The number one, most irrelevant purchase of the Blake family household this year goes to...

Please, please. Zoe Foster! Wow! Oh, my gosh, crazy scenes. Wow, that is crazy. All right, congratulations Zoe, making her debut on the list and taking top. spot the gold award for useless purchases does go to Zoe for a device she bought that is best described as kind of a chin brace that is designed for people who are looking at their phone

too much so they can rest their chin on it and not get neck pain rather than avoiding your phone simply put the chin rest on and scroll away despite the invention having a somewhat practical use, the chin rest has been observed to be used zero times in the house, making of this year's grand winner. Congratulations, Zoe. That, I mean, it's a shock. Look, against a formidable opponent in Hamish, you've got to be proud of Zoe to be able to stand up and take one out this year because...

Honorable mention for Zoe, too, she... Because I was just like, mate, what is this? She's like, oh, so I think you wouldn't see that. I was like, this has... And I was like, in this house, this is crazy. This has to be the worst thing that's been bought in this house. And she's like, well, I don't know what you're up to. I don't know what's in all your packages.

I was like, look, there have been some stinkers. There've been some stinkers on my side. The chin rest is... Amazing. That's a peach. Well done. You might be getting it for Christmas. It may be the last time before the government mandated break kicks in ham.

But power moves, keep flooding in hamish nedy. dot com, 50% fall to your side, 50% for to mine, so we've got to reveal them to each other. Let's do it. Don't we kick it off? Go for it. From Maddie Finn. On you, Maddie. Or do you.

Works best when in a big group, when a new person comes to join the table, say in front of everyone, or you're up to something. Immediately this puts them on the defensive and they deny it, but everyone's very wary of them for the rest of them. And nothing screams that someone's up to something like saying I'm not up to anything. It's a good move. Blake Dylan, a hoity, Blake. Demeaning power move used against him.

These are often some of the best ones because this is from the field and you go, okay, that was well played by this guy. Blake was selling some shoes on Facebook marketplace. The buyer comes to the house and is keeping keeping. Blake updated with arrival times, like I'll be there in 10, I'll be there in 5, etc. When he gets to Blake's house, he hits me with an, I'm here. I go to the front door, says Blake, and he's not there, but sitting in the car waiting as if I was a drive-thru, I'm barefoot in a singlet and footy shorts, and it's pissing down with rain, stood at the doorway, looking at him, he looked at me.

No one moved into like cave. And I took the shoes to his window, massive walk of shame back into the house. Would you have already paid for them? I'm interested in that transaction there. When you're selling something on Marketplace, and only do it a few times, you know, like, you just, you're like, maybe this time it'll be different.

Every time you go to Marketplace, maybe this time it would be a good trend. I'll get a good price and it'll be a pleasant experience. But when you go into the sale on Marketplace, your hopes are high for big money and a fast transaction, and then you just get smashed on price, and there's always conditions on everything. So by the time you're at the guys,

I do. He's just like, mate, just take the shoes. Like, I'm so over this. I've had the worst time doing this. It's just that one final bit of power from the buyer. I think I mentioned on the pod where that guy bought the dining table chairs from him and there's kind of 12 of them. Yeah. And rocks up. By himself.

By himself. He goes, oh, sorry, the kids seats are in the car. I'm going to have to do multiple drops. Where do you live? He lived 40 minutes away. I'm like, no. No. He's like, well, can you help me get a few in here.

I can maybe get it down to two trips, not three. It's like, I'm not waiting here for the next four hours for you to go back. That is the thing that Facebook marketplace is. I know we've got to move on, but it's that thing going, no, no, I'm wholesaling this item. I'm not a retail experience. I don't owe you customer service. I'm not here to spend half a day with you facilitating the transaction. This is a wholesale experience.

You just get the goods and you're expected to deal with them after this. And I had another lady come from a filing cabinet, which is on wheels. And she said, hmm. That's right. She had a wheel at home. took the train here. And I was like, okay, well, there's the filing cabinet. Well, she pushed it home.

She said, what do you propose? I was like, oh, you get an Uber. It's because that'd be a bit much. And I was like, well, Tom Wheels. And then she just wheeled it back to the train station. You don't have to buy the ticket. Just take it to the train. But at some point, it's on the person.

That's the buyer's fault. At all points. At all points. You work it? This is from Ben Bachman in Norway. Power Move. When emailing a resume, or CV for a job, name the file on your resume

resume dash English version. It implies you're fluent in multiple languages. Really good. Really good. This is from Dixon in the UK. Can be using a group setting or one-on-one. Ask someone what they're currently reading. When they answer, no matter what the book,

you reply with, still? I love it. This is from Corey Bernston. I'm not sure whether this is one or not, but you guys can be the judge. Best used at any social setting, usually between males. I suggest when you first meet your girlfriend's father for the first time.

After shaking someone's hand, immediately sniff your hand, raise your eyebrows, go, hmm, interesting. It's a bold move. It's a bold move for her dad. All right, time for one more. This is from Jordan.

Jordan, Salmon. Works best for males for reasons. It'll become parenting. You see a male colleague that's sporting a new haircut. Compliment them by saying, wow, nice pixie cut. This gives an impression that they have accidentally gone and got a hairstyle very popular with women. Guys, something very special happened to me a few days ago.

I discovered something about myself and I didn't become a new person. I guess it was revealed to me what I was. I'll paint the picture for you. Near the kids' school, they're like assembly hall, right, is sort of semi-connected to it. It's part of a church. There's a church next door, not part of the school, but it's next door. Went to one of the kids' assemblies.

It was milling around outside. And a lady, who at first I thought was another school parent, came up, but realized she wasn't. A lady came up, she was quite flustered. And she was a little older, but kind of like grabbed my arm. It was like a little bit unsteady on the thing. So can you please help me? I said, yeah, what's going on? Of course.

How are you going? I said, I really need your help. I'm sorry, I've actually just come out of hospital. I'm okay, but I just had a trim. I'm a little bit woozy. I'm a little bit weak on my feet. And I've dropped a box that I need to get to the vicar of the church, a wooden box. If I put it on his doorstep, but I'm worried it's going to rain.

But around the back, there's a bit under cover, but it's up heaps of stairs. And I said, I've just come out of hospital. I don't think I can do the stairs. I was like, oh, absolutely. Don't worry about it. I'm so sorry. Are you busy? And I was in golf gear.

But I said, no, absolutely. Of course I can help. You know, come up here. Show me where the box is. Shows a box to us. Shows the box and it's like, you know, can you take her on the side? Yep, absolutely. Come with me.

Show me this. And you trusted this woman. It's like something out of a British countryside movie. Like she's dropping a box off of the vicar. This wasn't a drug deal I'd walked into. Heck of a drug deal of it was. Good way to do it though. Make it as innocent as possible.

I mean, again, I believed her character of an older woman that had just come out of hospital. I mean, she was having trouble walking. Look, if it was a bikey in prosthetics, well done, well done. But I believe who she was. She was doing some work for the church. So she grabs my arm and I'm like, you know, box goes to the vicar's door, come back down and she's like, oh, thank you so much. She said, I'll let you go.

I said, no, no, let me walk you back to the car because you was a little bit unsteady on her feet, needed the arm. So as we're walking back to her car, she explains that she does work for the church. She said, that's lovely. And she said, I just was so worried that I couldn't get the box. It was going to get rained on. The box would get ruined. It was some pamphlets or something.

And she said, and I prayed. I prayed for help. And then there you were. You were a miracle. No, Jack. I'm an angel. But I can see the confusion. I can see the confusion.

Miracles a lot. Miracles a lot. Miracles a lot. An angel is about right. Angel too much as well. No, it's not. No, it's not. It is.

Here, I've been thinking about this, and here's how it works. I'm not religious. I'm not of a particular origin. I welcome and celebrate all faiths, but personally I'm not religious. I would say I've got a spiritual side to me, but I'm not religious. And that was the curious part. This was a Catholic church. So she's obviously prayed to the Catholic God.

And what fascinates me about what's clearly going on here is, why would God use me? Why would that God use me, a non-religious person? what it probably means, and again, I'm brand new to this, so I'm going to get something wrong, but what it probably means is I'm some kind of freelance angel. So depending on what faith you are, if you pray to God, whatever your belief system is,

be you Muslim, be you Hindu, be you Jewish, you pray, and if I'm nearby and I'm the most available, God will activate me as a one-off as a freelance vessel. of his, you know, or his will. I think he's a servant. I think you have to do it. That is what an angel is made at the divine servant, you idiot.

You're not divine. And I'm also part-time. You're just easily manipulated. Part-time, angel. Because you don't have a faith. Not saying full-time. Not saying I've got wings in a halo, not say I can fly. I'm saying I'm a casual.

No, I think you have to do at least two different religions before you can say you're a freelancer across all. Who knows? I might have actually done other things when I've done good deeds and it wasn't revealed to me that it was. I was activated through prayer. I'm probably done other stuff, and I didn't know I was activated through prayer on the other times.

Here's the way I look at it. You know, sometimes you see, like, delivery drivers who do work for Uber, but they also work for menu log. Yes. That's what I am. Spiritually, that's what I am, just whichever God activates me, I will do. And, you know, I don't know.

Again, I don't know the system of how it's picked. Well, what did you say to finish the conversation with it? because often when you, whenever seen movies or TV shows, the angel says something quite profound as they leave. Couldn't hear it over all the trumpets and me floating slowly off up to the sky. Ando, you recently came back from a very pleasant trip to China where the entire country's efficiency and organization

can deeply soothed your mind. Oh, absolutely. This is the future. Sign me up because there's zero spillage and zero wastage. Not all of us can live that way. And still in life, there are many, many examples of things that do not adhere to the principles of order and efficiency you experience in China. And that is why we do this.

Everything is neat and practical. Because that's the way he likes it. But what if it wasn't? said Andy. All right. They never stop Ando. No. I mean, that's one of the laws, I think, in science.

One of the laws is the thing called the law of entropy, which is chaos is expanding. The universe is not getting more ordered. It's getting more chaotic. So this segment will never stop. Bailey. Bailey joins us with a great upset, Andy. You've proved.

You've proved that living with Hame for 25 years or whatever has proved that there's new ways to be fast and loose. It does not quieten down. Bailey, Ahoy to you. Ahoy, boys. Gusto to you. And gusto to you, Bailey, sir. What have you got to upset, Andy? Well, recently I had a globe go out in our bathroom. And so the next day, I did the responsible thing and went to Bunnings to get a new one.

Oh, you didn't go to your globe box within the cupboard? No. Not everyone's fully spent for a disaster. Must be very nice. I have so many globes on tap. But anyway, when I was there, I didn't really think too much about colors and styles or anything. I just grabbed one that sort of looked like it would be the globe I need.

And when I installed it at home, I realized I've put in a cool white globe when the existing light is warm white. So now I've got one warm light globe and one cool light. It made me shudder. Giving you a slightly warm. Oh, you can mix temperatures. No, that actually makes me shudder. Does it really?

Yeah, I really, I mean the cool light I don't like at all. all. Yes, Carly outside's giving me a big, big shake of the head as well. No, Beck would immediately have me change that, but I'd be changing myself. I wouldn't have made the mistake in the first place, but if the company had accidentally put the wrong one in the box or something. Yeah, you'd send it back. The Globe Isle at Bunnings just gives me just wonderful memories.

Anytime I'm in there, and I've been sent by Zoe, it will be me going, oh, God, was it the screw, or a little push? And then I'll go, I don't feel like there have any screws in the house. I think they're all pushed these days, aren't they? I think we're phasing out the screw globe and then I'll buy it. It's always the wrong one when I take it. Thanks, Bailey. Dean.

Dean, ahoy to you, Dean. Ahoi fellas and the whittal boy. Happy birthday, and commiserations on the IP, mate. He'll bounce back. Well, you can't bounce back. No, I have to sweep things this evening. I should see it. You don't want to be embarrassed.

the third time. Dean, take us through what you've got to upset Ando. Yeah, so my mum wanted to put a carpet runner down the hallway. And instead of going out to buy a proper one, must be nice, she used a rug that she already had that was nearly half a metre wider than the hallway. In the hall, okay. So for nearly six months, we just had it rolled up. So just rolled the edge of it up. And it'd be underneath the rug.

Oh, absolutely. Sometimes you'd go up the wall. Yeah, such a surplus of rug, isn't that? a nice feeling to get we're overrugged. It was fantastic. We're overrugged in the hallway. It's just nice to live it up. Yeah, great.

How long? Six months, it was there for. Sometimes, to make it better, it had sometimes even go in front of a doorway that entered into the hall. Right. And we just, as we walked through, we'd just shift it. If it had to be shifted, it wasn't. Yeah, whatever.

Thanks very much. A, Chloe, a hooy to you. Aoy, gentlemen. Chloe, try and upset me. So, when I do my dishes, I rinse my, dishes before I put them in the dishwasher. And I always have the strainer there to catch the food debris. Like in the plug, in the sink hole, the plug strainer?

In the plug hole, yes. And then instead of turning 45 degrees and tapping the strainer in the bin, I basically just tap it straight down the plug hole. And then just push it, push it, push it through. Wash it down with water and I just put everything down that I captured. Yep. Yeah, I mean, look, I am a take the plug out and give it a little. little tap. But if there's, you know, bits that aren't going down, I have done what you've

done, Chloe. I'm very good. I'm very good at squashing food through with my fingers. That's one of my skills because, and it annoys me every day. This upsets home. This is one of the few things that upsets home. I do take the strain around and tap it in the sink. And if my wife is ever around, I always make an habit of turn to and going, gee, it would have been great to have the insincorator. Yeah. Because this is the one thing I tried to get included in our house. as renovation, I was overruled for some reason to do with shelving or draw space. And so I've put two in my house. Which would only cover 10% of the sinks from what I've seen on the floor pane.

Thank you, Chloe. Haley, a hoi to you. Oh, hoi, ando. What have you got for it upset me? Well, so a while ago, I had to print an iron-on t-shirt transfer on my printer and spent ages trying to set the printer up. up to print on the transfer paper because you've got to print it with the special settings so that it comes out really slowly and it doesn't smudge and that it comes out like

mirror image. Yes, of course. It's been, I reckon, about a year and a half and I simply do not have time to figure out how to change it back because there's like the settings in the Apple menu, then there's like in the Canon software or the program I was using or the printer. So every time I print, I forget that that's what's happened. I wait ages, the print starts to come out, then I'm like, oh, yeah, that's right.

It's coming out backwards. So I just cancel the print. Then I go into my computer and I just print in mirror image. Just for this print. Quick, quick, yeah, quick math. Mirror image plus mirror image equals perfection. And so they just cancel each other out, over printing every time.

I hate this so much. Perfect every time, Andy. No one, when you do a deep dive on settings, because you're usually like on chat GPT or something, and it's like going, now go into advance, now go into presets. Like, you're never going back in there and undoing that. Well, you are.

Plus, if I ever have to print an iron on transfer again, I'm saving myself time again. You are ready. You're ready to print T-shirts at the drop of that. Easily the worst one we've had today for me. Ali, ahoy to you. Ahoy, boys. Ali, you're joining us from the UK, so just triple points already for upsetting Andy from a different hemisphere.

That's, are you, Ellie? I'm in Scotland. Awesome. We're about in Scotland. Edinburgh. Not far. Some great goal courses. Yeah, very nice golf courses.

No, no. Let's steer the conversation away from things that please, Andy, and take it to things that upset him. Allie, what have you got? So I used to know a guy who, when he'd make a cup of tea, you know, he'd take his tea bag out, put his milk and sugar in, and then rather than waste time getting a teaspoon out, he'd just take his glasses off,

use one arm of the glasses to give it a stir, and he just whack his glasses back on, and he's good to go. Did he... I don't learn that. lick the glass before putting it like the arm? Sometimes you just give it a shake and put them back on. Sometimes they just went straight back on. I suppose when you're Jack's making a face and I think

it's because you're thinking about behind someone's ears, aren't you Jack? It's a sanitary place. Sanitary and then when he's putting him back on, he's making it worse back there. Whatever was already going on, he's on there making it worse. To have lactatee. To have milk scum behind your ears. But I do love the ingenuity of it all.

You don't like my ear. Because it's like a lot of people think glasses are a one-use tool. So to come up, to go, hang on, no, no, I'm walking around all day with two spoons on my head. You just failed to see it. You guys have all got it wrong. You've just, what do you use glasses for? Just for the look-ins. Ali, weirdly I don't hate it.

And that's the strange thing about upset, Andy, is someone's found life efficiency. Ali, thank you. you for getting up and sharing, though. No worry. Thanks, mate. Enjoy the cold government-mandated breakover there. Hey, at the start of the show, we often hear from listeners telling us what they've been up to.

They upload their audio at haymishnay.com. Especially hard because of the rigmarole involved in getting that audio onto that website, considering the prevalence of easier technology. So we really do appreciate it. It's very easy. Nick sent in last week his message about his friend, Matt, who plays Frisbee golf or disc golf, as they call it overseas, and was asking whether we could refer to our golf, we play as ball golf.

So it's really clear, kind of how they went with ice hockey and field hockey. I immediately told a story about golf and forgot to reference it as ball golf. And I need to apologize for that because we did. We put a flag in the stand and said, we'll be going on this course. I think because I was so fascinated by the story you were telling, which was hogs, you know, not taking any underpans on the golf trip. ball golf trip. And, you know, we just got lost in hogs as well.

That, it just shows how powerful the marketing of ball golf has been since its invention in Scotland, how many hundreds of years ago was it? I don't know. You probably know 200 years ago, whatever it was. I think so about that. They have brainwashed us into calling ball golf, just golf. And we, you know, we took it on the chimney like, yeah, that's right. We actually made a pledge and we went back to just calling it golf, which is insensitive

to all the varieties of golf that are out there. And then we jump on Google and then there's every golf course in Australia just says, you know, something public golf course. It might be the Waterford Valley, public golf course. And we're like, well, what type of golf? You mean ball golf. You mean ball golf. I bet you mean ball golf.

But you are arrogantly assumed the world marches to the beat of that drum. And again, it comes from the top. It comes from the big ball golf, you know, industrial complex. And so we thought. It's incumbent on us to fly this flag for those that want to distinguish Brisbane golf from ball golf. And how do you make change, Andrew? How do you make change?

You make it at a big top level? No. You make it at a grassroots level. And you make it by calling the nest, the hive of ball golf, which is ball golf courses, specifically their pro shop, who handle all the bookings. We thought today, do we just randomly select a couple of ball golf courses? Each call one? call one, and we, you know, have to start now from the standpoint that there are two golfs.

It's very confusing that they're not putting it in the name of their company and their golf course. And they're going to get a lot more calls like this. So we're really just warming up the front line. Well, we'll start with Yarrabind public golf course. I don't know whether it's ball golf or frisbee golf. It doesn't say here or just golf. It doesn't say you assume looking at the website that there are some giveaways that it's ball golf. That's only because we know the sport of ball golf so well that we're able.

able to make that. If you're a beginner, you wouldn't know what kind of golf they play. Jack, I pop the number even. Here we go. Yeah, we'll see if we can write this wrong. Narban Golf. Tom speaking. Hey, Tom.

It's Devon here, mate. How are you? I'm good, how are you? Yeah, good. Is that Yarabend public golf course? Yep. Yeah, what kind of golf? Sorry?

Just wondering what type of golf that you offer there. It doesn't say in the name of your, it just says public golf course. So just what type of golf course. So just what type of golf? We have an 18-hole golf course. Yeah, but what type? A driving range of mini-golf. What do you mean what type?

Well, is it ball golf or is it frisbee golf? It's normal golf with clubs. No frisbee golf here. All right. So, again, I don't think you can distinguish it as in normal golf. There's obviously ball golf and then there's... I mean, a very old golf with clubs and small balls with dimples on it.

So, a ball golf. Yeah. I mean, well, then the soccer golf is also a ball golf, I suppose, if you... Big ball golf. But, yeah. Yeah, we're just a normal, old school, normal golf course. No frisbee's involved. Right.

I just don't think you can call it normal because there's obviously lots of different golfs now. Okay. Yep. So, your small ball golf. Yep. Little white ball golf. Thank you. That's great.

Yeah, I might pass another game. I'll ring you back. Okay, no, it's... Bye. Bye. Little white ball golf is being more descriptive. He does. He's going to point with soccer golf.

I love that that's trying to pretend that that's why he's not calling it ball golf. Out of respect to soccer golf. Okay, well, at least they are understanding it. Yeah, let's keep going. Okay, next one is Brighton Public Golf Course. Here we go. In your hands, it's one hand. Good afternoon, Brian.

Golf course. This is Stefan speaking. Good afternoon. Stephen. This is Marshall. How are you? I'm good. How are you?

Very good. I wonder if you can help me. I'm getting into the game, but I'm brand new to the game, in fact. But I understand it's quite common knowledge that there's two types of golf. What kind of golf course are you? So we are a public golf course We allow

Bookings for everyone from But bookings for what? For which game? Oh, for golf, we offer 18-hole course But what kind of golf? Like 18-hole golf, yes. Yes, I'm not making myself clear. What word comes before the golf you play?

I'm sorry, I'm not. Trying to understand what you're trying to... No, because there's two kinds of golf, as I understand it. There's the... You throw the discs around, sometimes called frisbee golf or frivolve, and then there's ball golf. Oh, okay, okay, yeah. Do you... Are you a frisbee golf course?

We're not a frisbee golf course. Are you a ball golf course? Well, ball golf course, yes. Like, we play with ball and clubs. Yes. No, well, that's the thing I've got... I'm interesting in getting some ball golf clubs because I have a friend that plays ball golf. And I thought we could play ball golf together at your course.

So you do cater for ball golf fans. I mean, ball golf as in like you use the actual clubs and hit the tiny ball, correct? Yeah, yeah. That's the golf we do here. That's wonderful. Oh, that's great news. Well, I'm going to tell my friend his name's Mark and he plays ball golf. And we're going to come and play some ball golf with you.

It's great to hear. We look forward to welcoming you. Thank you. Likewise. Bye-bye. Thank you, Marshall. I really just wanted him to say we play ball golf. He did.

We're doing our part. It's now slowly going to get into the vernacular. It's getting into, you've got to be more specific. It's psychologically pinned me down so hard that it's still bubbling away. And I need to chat to you guys about it. Do you want the sound effect? No. I don't.

It's not gas lighting, but we're getting close. But I know that's what power moves are a bit. You know Ham and Jackie know me. I never ran out of battery on my phone. Oh, I wouldn't like that. You don't. You don't. For me, it's, there are some days where it's,

just to give, like I wake up and go, oh, okay, you haven't charged my phone for two days. We're going to play single digits today because the charger in my car, the cable in my car, adds about 1% every 10 minutes. There's some bad charging. Yeah. My car charger will hold the line, but certainly really make no inroads into the battery. I treat power supply at the utmost importance. I've got, you know, if I was on Apollo 13, Tom Hanks,

Kevin Bacon, whoever the other guy was, they would have just come back fine and not worry. Houston, there's no problem. That wasn't because someone was being selfish with the charger. They just had a bad power supply issue. That's my reference. I actually don't know what it's about. I think it was somebody to do with power.

Some were a bit broke off during the launch and like, broke damage the outside of the show. It's not like, it's not like mission control went. Wait a second. Have you guys been playing PlayStation? Yes. Well, you know you've only got a certain amount of power. No, sorry, it's days until we get to the moon.

Is that music playing in the background? Yeah. Did someone make a smoothie? Yeah, we thought we're allowed to just free time until we got to the moon. We got the kettle on. Did someone plug the shuttle? Is that a heated blanket? It's freezing in here.

Do you guys bring heated blankets? But I understand what you're saying. You would have certainly, had it been a charging issue, wouldn't have happened on your watch. I have charging points around the house. house. So whenever I'm doing anything, I know I'm getting souped up to the point where I like a rock climate clipping into different delay points, always holding onto a

and to the point where I wanted to label them because they do go missing from, but I knew that's one level of psycho that Beck will like, you know, you've got to get a, you're saying you feel like you've bought a lot of charges for the relationship in I don't think he's more. Yeah. Yeah. But it's more about the location. I know that where you're like, that's where I keep my charger,

and then I go to plug it in, and it's disappeared. And it's one of the good ones. You're like, that's the fast charger. I count on that. So you can imagine my frustration when Beck and I overseas, I'm about to head to China to catch up with the guys, so we're splitting ways. And I see that she's charging her computer with my charger,

which is fine. It doesn't sound like it. I go to wrap it up. because it was where my computer was, she's obviously unplugged that while I was out, come back, plugged her in, that's fine. I'm going to wrap that up. I'm going to start keeping a tally.

And Beck, if you're listening, you keep on to it. How many times does Andy say that's fine and mean the opposite? I grabbed the charger and say, hey, is this my charger? No, it's my charger. Yep. And that's fine. That's fine. She says, no, no, that's my charger, which is not, Jack.

It's not. that's fine. I was like, and I said, oh, right, well, have you seen mine about? Because I actually haven't seen yours on this trip. Yeah. He goes, no, that's mine. Yeah, I'm not, I haven't seen yours. I'm like, hmm.

And then she goes, but take mine. I'm not as funny about these things as you are. No. She's giving you a that's fine. Take mine. That's fine. I, I mean, yes, I am funny about these things, but I can't. I'm like, well, no, if it's yours, let's find mine.

No, take mine. I'm not weird about these things. You can. This is a master class. Now he's regretting not labeling those charges. Fando, she's only going to live with you so long before she picks up some tactics. And so I'm wrapping it wanting to go, great. Outcome's great.

In my negotiation brain's going, great. Negotiated outcome is what you wanted. The childish petty part of me. that you can't listen to when you're in a marriage but does still exist would have, if you're in a hotel room, would have gone, right, quietly got like a hotel pen,

then drawing a little H on it somewhere. I'm like, oh, it is mine, because I have a little age on mine. Now, that's a big gamble for me because I could easily have been using Zos. Because then if she was like, well, I just found yours in your backpack. It doesn't have an age on it.

So you must have put mine in your back. I would, that's what I'm saying. You shouldn't act on those impulses, but immediately the dodgy part of my brain goes, let's do that. I wish I consulted you because I 100% would have done that. But instead, I packed my charger and thanked her for borrowing hers as I went off and embarked on my own trip. Still bubbling, obviously.

This has been very helpful to get it off my chest. So there was no investigation when you got home to go find. The other charger proved that it was, well, Beck has not asked for her charger back since We've been back for some weeks. So I don't want to circle back and go, hmm. And you're, you know, getting married, we'd say odds are next year sometime. And, you know, Jack and I are a little bit down the road, far be it from us to marriage counsel you.

Yeah, please say that. But there is, I think one of the hardest things in a relationship is to go, I know I'm right, and I have proof. A key one would be when you have. have a screenshot of something, you know, like, well, I told you, I told you to get potatoes. And you know you have a screenshot of the shopping list, there's no potatoes. Resisting the urge to go, hmm, that's weird. I'm not going to be able to do it.

You must. You must. You must. You must. You must. You must go. Yeah. Well, sorry.

You know I get at the supermarket. 80% is pretty good for me. You must. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamish and Andy.com.