Hamish & Andy - 323 - Hame & Jack Join Andy’s Wedding Planning Team

Episode Date: March 18, 2026

Hamish and Jack set some tricky challenges for Andy to weave into his wedding planning. You try to stump the boys with the first batch of Tell Us Someone entries for the year. With golf an unpopular topic on the podcast and at home, Hamish has come up with an interesting way to conceal it. Plus, the boys catch up on some important loose ends! 1. Tell Us Someone We Haven’t Thought Of In A While 2. Hamish Paints The Mona Lisa 3. The Wedding Challenge Ideas 4. Jack’s H&A Boardgame 

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. Ahoie to the end, Hamish. The end? Yeah. Sound pretty ominous then, didn't it?

And if Jack's the beginning and you're the middle. It means me a pronoun. It means me. This could be the end of this game. Ahoi to the overworld. Jack. Oh, okay. That sounds like it exists in some kind of fantasy, bland.

I was going to say, new trilogy. Yeah. And I'm the never. Yeah. Something like Narnia or like stranger things or something. You can't even in the world. I thought you would be the best chance to get this, Hame, not for just general intelligence.

Thanks, ma'am. I think he smiled at me then, Jack. Just a quick week. Yeah, of course I'm going to get it. Because your kids may be at the level. Oh, Fortnite. or Minecraft. It's Minecraft.

Minecraft. It's not a Minecraft. The three primary Minecraft dimensions. Yep, the Nether. The Nether. The Nether. Overworld. And Ahoi also to Kim Wilson

who went to Hamishaneda.com. And she uploaded what she's been doing lately, very easy to use system. Ahoy, Hamish and Andy. This is Kim from Queensland. I'm currently climbing up Mount Fox Glacier hike in the South Island

of New Zealand. And it just struck me this piece of information. I've been sitting on that I better share with Hamish and the people. Hamish, next time you're on one of your must-be-nice holiday adventures and you get a little bit of backdoor difficulties, try vitamin C. Really? It's nature's own natural laxative.

So I'm not sure if it's as potent enough to squeeze a couch through a cat flap. But hey, if you don't have one of those little glycerine capsules handy, it's worth a shot. let me know how you go. Bye guys. Powerful analogy is obviously stuck. Yeah, that was a quote from her, quoting you. Quoting me back and to keep it or delete it last year. Is it just me or a lot of our listener send in?

First of all, well done on your hike, Kim, but... Heavy breathing. Everyone's out of breath. It's on a walk. I think it's because it must take so long to sort of upload this thing. People associate it with an arduous event. They feel exhausted. while I'm on a difficult

you know, I'm doing the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. What's the second hardest thing? Oh, uploading something to the Hamish Nandy website. I like that people are in these moments. They're out and about their thinking. I was going to say, I'm all for it. I love the adventure feel that we've got with these listener messages.

In fact, I'm almost, can't make it a rule. No, you don't have to be puffed. You don't have to be puffed. We'd like to know why you're puffed. And, you know, let's get some variety in there. I'm starting the pod today with Tell us someone we haven't thought of for a while. The best time for anyone to participate in this game because we can't have thought of them this year, obviously being March.

Have we thought about them in the first two and a half months? Your chance of winning a hat sent in have greatly increased when you play it at this time of year. Ham, what are the hats today? Three hats in front of us, hando. The first is sort of a trucker style, country trucker style, if you know, that has kind of like the band around the mesh. Navy blue, Fluro-Green embroidery.

Appreciate that, not printed. On the front, smaller hat, not quite the quality, not the highest quality truck you've ever seen. But the business, there is a lot going on with the business. It's in futuristic print. You know, well, the futuristic print from the 90s,

where it's almost like the digital clock readout, Dubbo mobile locksmiths in fluoro green. Okay, this is the company. Then it shows you a padlock next to, to that with a whole bunch of kind of like grid lines or it almost looks like a train map systems kind of. Well, it's almost like things labelling the lock, but there's nothing written, but it's how you, it's sort of like almost like it's analysing the lock and it will crack this padlock.

Yeah. So it's trying to give off this sort of, I guess, like high-end AI feel to mobile locksmiths in Dubbo. But you know it's probably just Dale turning up with the regular tools, which I'm I respect because it's a skill I don't have. But you do, you'd have to admit from the people at D&L that your hat is giving off severe AI vibes in an industry that I don't think so far would be utilizing too much AI. Try to make it appear a bit more sophisticated than he's. I would say the hat has, there's been investment in it.

I think there's been poor style choice. Yeah. I mean, but some people might like that futuristic feel. Middle hat is, yeah, it's not the best. This is easily the worst hat. Plain black Velcro back out at least. favorite of the fastenings. Actually, even cheap Velcro when I felt it there. The least favorite of the fastening systems, real simple. It is embroidered, so he points there for a

slight price increase, cost per unit, but not by much. What's the brand? Oridon, protect style drive, no idea what they do. Difficult to discern what that business is from the three words they've used to advertise it. The next hat is a fascinating hat. They've gone all out. Okay. This is a people familiar with the brand. This is an actual country trucker cap, CTC, which is a higher quality hat. Yep. It's not mesh. It's a full fabric backing.

It's a deep hat. It's got a mobile number on the bar. The company's advanced droning, right? And I assume they mean drones, like, you know, flying drones. Giving you the advantage is the tagline, again, seems a little bit spying. Yeah. Like advanced droning. Remember we had the segment years and years ago.

It was like, what have you spied on with your drone? Yes. So it's a bit of that. On the side kit, is someone's mobile number? Just on the side of the hat, they've gone. I feel like this might be a one-man operation and that's his number or her number. On the brim of the hat. Yeah, you never see this.

They've gone extra embroidery for, I was going to say the company tagline, but that company tagline for advanced training is giving you the advantage. It just says, let's hook in. Yeah. Yeah. So what does that have to do with? That's a fishing. I don't know.

Are they fishing with drones? Is this a drone fishing company? Not to our knowledge. A bit of a shake of their head from outside. It would have been huge if it was. They've gone from embroidery pretty much on every panel. And I think they've run out of things to say. Every possible embroidery.

Then they put the logo back above the snapback as well. Like that is, this is the most expensive hat by far. Yep. I reckon that'd be my pick today, although none of them are that great. I'm fast. I really want to call this number and go, what does Let's Hook in mean? And does it just mean, like, let's do business. Let's do that.

We've played this. I think we should. It's been a while since I've thought about Gabriella Chilmy. All done. Yeah. And it's been a while since I've seen them. In any given year, I think you could win in December with Chilmy. Yeah, in a while.

Joining us now, James, a hoy to you. Oh, boy. Gusto be with you. And Gusto to you, sir. James, tell us someone we haven't thought of for a while. Thinking the 90s Ironman superstar Trevor Hendy. Oh, bad luck. Oh, no.

You're joking. I have been thinking about Iron Man. Not specifically Iron Man, but I wouldn't have thought of Trevor Hendy. But I was actually chatting with a mate the other day because we're kind of like, this is a common refrain for parents. Hey, you're like, guys, you know, you're telling your kids, we had nothing on the weekend. We didn't have screen time because there was nothing on.

Like when you grew up in the 8th,000, 80s. And then on, remember on Sunday morning, surf life saving. If you're, if you're born kind of after 1985, you'd remember in the 90s, you can't get up. He's got up to watch. Yeah, they must have had a major channel 10 or something. Grand Kinney. It was filmed like it was our national sport. Yeah. And it's just guys on kneeboards surfing and then running up the beach. But we watched it because we had no choice. James, unfortunately at old mates, our pub in New York, we were bringing out Speedos, old mates. Speedos and we're talking about could we track down

one of the old life-saving champions. That was a conversation. Guy Leach or Trevindy. Guy Leach is the other one. I think that's three. Give us another one behind Grand Kenny, Guy Leach and Trevandy. They're the top three. Yeah.

Name the fifth tenor. Yeah. We don't know. Thank you, James. But I'm sorry about that. Harry, what I have made. Harry? Gusto boys.

How are we? Gusto to you. Gary, give us someone we haven't thought of this year. This is a bit tough after the recent Olympics, but have you thought of 2000 Olympic legend, Eric the eel? I don't think I could say of specifically, oh, mate, I might have mentioned him. I don't think he did. No, because I want you to get a hat, James, but I know in my heart,

I did because I was explaining to someone when we were watching the curling about how you and I and oh for one hot afternoon on radio. We thought we'd be an Australian curling team. We thought we could just, no one had thought of it. And we're like, let's start curling for Australia. Cool running. And I explained as I was like, we thought we could Eric the Yilet where no one from that country had entered into swimming. So anyone that entered goes to the Olympics. We thought this was our magic idea. We were going to go to the winter Olympics. So it would be so funny. Then we found out Australia does have a curling team. They're actually very, very good. They're just outside Olympic qualification.

Yes. People have thought of curling in Australia. And the other thing about it was you don't necessarily get in as your team. They pick the four best curling. Yeah. So on the off chance, one of us actually was amazing at curling, like, and made the national team. Because we were like, you, me, Jack, Hawks. Let's all go to the Olympics. And, yeah, it's a bad dream. But Eric the year was kind of our inspiration. I think I have mentioned him. Sorry, Harry, but commiserations. Sorry, has. From Harry to Leon, Leon, a hoie to you. Ahoy, boys. May it Gust to be with you?

And also to you. Okay. Do you recall the famous singer from, I think it was the 90s, Merrill Bainbridge. I do recall her, but I haven't recalled her this year. I would not have, this would be the, you'd be watching the freshest recall I've had for some years. What is Merrill sing? I'd be close. sing, I'm a bitch, I'm a lover.

Was that a bandage? No. That's your thing of your ringtone. But she doesn't sing that. It was kind of like that. Mouth.

She sings that. That's right, yeah. When I kiss me on mouth, that one of taste. That one. Yep. Leon. You've got it.

You've got yourself a hat. Well done. Yes. Which one would you like to go with? Well, they all sound pretty terrible, yes. Yeah, yeah, it wasn't great. You'd have to be between Dubbo Mobile

locksmith if you've got a smaller head or advanced droning if you've got a deeper head? I think a deeper head, so let's lock that one in. Let's hook in. Let's hook in. That's hooking. Well done, mate. That is coming your way. James, wrap this up for us.

Tell us someone we haven't thought of in a while, James. So this is someone who's very big in the 2010s, but I haven't really heard from them much since, but Rhonda Rousey. Oh. I do think I've mentioned her. And I'm sorry about this, but I think we had a chat the other day about, I was a Chantlemaid of mine about, she's a WWE fighter now. Like she's in the wrestling.

She's gone to, yeah, she's gone to wrestling because someone, you know, almost as if they knew this conversation would happen. We're like, whatever happened to her? And I was like, I saw her as a wrestler. What a strange change up. Well, she's got the athleticism. She's an entertainer. It's a real pipeline, though.

It's a real pipeline, I reckon. Yeah. James knows. I mean, you've got the ring experience. You know how to entertain. You can give press conferences. You don't actually have to get hurt anymore. That's a huge bonus.

And then it is a gateway to a Hollywood film of some description. She just, I think she was in one. She just took, she just saw the opportunity. I mean, no harm to her at all. Hey, Ron. Go for it. Ronda's got to pay the rent. Bad luck, though, James.

James, we had Rhonda Rousey on our radio show. She was at Australia for a huge. UFC file. She was massive. She was everywhere and then just... I always think of this story when we think of her because we wanted to do this thing where we made a realistic cake of Andy's head.

And we wanted her to punch it so we could just see the force of her fist going into Andy's face. And her handlers wouldn't let her punch it because they're like, she injures her hand before the fight. It was like a $50 million dollar file or something. And we're like, it's cake. What type of cake was actually? Yeah.

Yeah. Not even a fruit cake, not a hard cake. It was actually quite a soft mud cake. And I punished her and I survives. I think I'm tougher than wondering. What happened, James, was, this happened in radio all the time. You had an idea. You put all this effort into it.

She says no. So she just watched Hamish punch a cake. And that was the segment. Not quite too. Checking her what's going. I wonder if I've contractually fulfilled my promotional obligation. See you, mate. Thank you, Dave.

Thanks, guys. See you. Gentlemen, I find myself, well, this is a conundrum because I need to tell you a golf story, but I know it's not popular content on the podcast, but it's not popular content at home. I've got nowhere to talk about it. I've got no way to talk about it because boy oh boy is golf not popular at home at my house. I heard you copy it from all ages, Zoe and Rudy. My daughter, Rudy just has it in her head.

And, like, you know, I think I've mentioned before on the podcast, like, even if I'm in the pool with her and we're just swimming and playing, and I might be maybe underwater, just thinking about, like, the golf swing, the rotation, you sort of, you know, when you get into go of you're sort of practicing a little bit all the time. It's a real middle-aged, I'll say man, middle-aged man thing to do. You see him at the airport all the time, just guys, just practicing their golf swing. Anyway, underwater, like, Rudy will pop-ups, you're like, I know you're doing golf under there. And you're like, oh my God. I wasn't. And you're like, I know you're doing golf. I'm so sorry.

I've got a club, like an old golf club in the bedroom behind the curtain. It's hidden. And it's just for, if I ever alone, have a bit of dead time just to practice. That's the way. I just like have it just to, because I've come to golf later in life. So you're trying to learn this skill. You're trying to learn. It's like trying to learn violin when you're 50.

Like, okay, you're not just immediately going to be good at violin. Got to kind of practice the whatever you have to do to violin. It's a motor bat. I was just going to, you know, you've got to practice like fingers and the stick. Yeah, you know, you're going to practice. Yeah, so hide them around the house. So you're going to find the amount of violinists that have got hiding bows. Just under the couch cushion.

Are you doing violin in there? I wasn't. Put that coat hanger down. It's not a violin. I'm just practicing the movement. Anyway, there's an old club behind the curtain, Roo's in the bedroom the other day. We're having a chat while she's rolling around on the bed.

It kind of rolls off the bed, lands sort of near, on the floor, near the curtain, and it peels back a bit. She sees the bottom. She goes, oh, my God. It goes right over there. Pulls it out. She's like, really? Like it's a bong.

And I promise I'd stop ripping bong. in the bedroom. Really? I was like, Roo, it's just for when I'm alone. It's like, no.

Right? So golf is not welcome. And I have to hide it. Girls made dirty secret. Obviously, don't play on weekends, but I, if I've got a chance

and can squeeze in some, just managed to in my very, very busy week, sometimes might find a Wednesday or Thursday or whatever to play. Both. Both. Ideally both.

So it's always during school hours, right? So you guys know a bit of this story, but I haven't told you the full scope. But I know it's a golf story, so I'm going to change the analogy. I'm going to pretend it's about something else. But just so it keeps people veryly interested. Good idea. But I played in the club competition like last week. Okay.

When does the analogy change? Okay. So imagine you are part of an. art club. Okay. And every week, all the people in the art club get together for a couple of days on the week and you go in the art club comp. Yeah.

And it's just for the members of the art club who like to see how they're going with their painting compared to the other members. Yeah. If you win the art competition for that week, you feel great. You're the best artist of that day at the art club. How the handicaps work in this art analogy? A number of brushes you can use. More colors.

You've got a bed of paint. So I've gone to Zoe. Hey, I'm happy to, she's like, can you pick up, you know, you pick up, would you be able to do school pick up? No worries. That's at 3.30. Art club started at 1130. Now, usually it takes about five hours to do a painting. So you're looking at that, Matt, so you're like, that's going to be tough.

I think we're going to finish painting. at about 4.30. So I go, I'm just going to paint half the picture, nine holes of the picture, if you will. So, and I'm with my friend, I'm with my friend Barry. And I was like, Baz, you know, and he's like, great, I've only got time for nine holes. So it's like, great. So we go and we're, we're painting away. And we get to the halfway mark. Now, it turns out, imagine if you were just painting for fun and you're like, I'm going to paint the Mona Lisa today. And you get halfway through the Mona Lisa and you're like, Oh my God, I'm actually painting really well.

This could be better than the original. I mean, I've done most of the mouth. I haven't done the eyes yet. But everything, if I just do the eyes, this could be the best Mona Lisa I've ever painted. But I'm meant to be going. I'm meant to be going home. If you're on a roll creatively with the paint.

So I message, though, because now it's sort of like, whatever it is, like 1.30, 2 o'clock. And I go, yep, still need me to do big. I'm just like, actually my days change around. I can, I'll grab the kids. But if you could be home at four, remembering the painting might not be finished until 4.30. Plus travel time.

Yeah. If you could be home at 4, that'd be great because I'll be a bit cooked. Like, yep, might be a sniff after 4. I guess. That's my response. You know, I don't tell her I'm halfway through painting. No, Lisa. I just go, I'm going about my.

my day, you're going about yours. It might be a sniff afterwards. She goes, okay, well, you know, can you take them out as soon as you get home? Yeah. Proceed to just then knuckle down and just like just focus one one paint stroke at a time. Just can I keep making this masterpiece? I happen to win the art competition. Wow.

So you paint the whole thing. You finished the painting. Finish the painting. I've won the art competition. Great. Congratulations. In this art world, there is an objective system where there is an art judge who says, got 42 points for winning that.

Oh, that's very good. Painting's worth 42 points. And the nearest artist had only managed to score 39 points that day. So it was a decisive win. Usually when you win an art competition, you would love to enjoy it with the people that you've been painting with. Fellow artists who understand how hard it is to get the eyes just right. Get that smile, just smirking. You should smile and it's like.

And it's rare to win the art competition. It may not happen again for years. Yes. And, you know, yeah, you want to win every time. But of course, that's the nature of art. So I couldn't celebrate. I had to, I was like, I thought, this is great, but I've got to run to the car. Like, run to the car, pack up all my out, rip my smock off.

I actually didn't take my outsmok off. But I put all the brushes in the car. Can I get home? We're pushing, you know, $4.50. Traffic wasn't on my sign. Quite a stiff. Open the door. Quite a sniff.

A deep sniff past four o'clock. I open the door and I hear, I was like, sorry on my traffic, I'm here, and I hear this chirpy, you know, everyone's in the lounge room. They're like, no worries, that's fine. Great. And so I'm like, okay, good. This isn't perhaps as bad as I feared. But then I walked into the lounge room.

You still had your arts mock on? I still had my arts mock on. Oh, no. And that's when the mood soured. I hadn't mentioned I was painting that day. And I'd paint all over me. And even though I'd painted the Mona Lisa. And the best Mona Lisa anyone had ever seen that day at that course.

But club. She just wanted to see the page. She didn't matter. She was like, are you in kidding me? Rudy goes ballistic. She's like, oh my God, he's been painting. And we actually went out for dinner that night. So I took the kids like, all good, all good, all good.

You know, ran into the other room, you know, quickly that took him out. We haven't played. We earned for an early family dinner that night to the local Chinese place. And I hadn't, remember, I'm still privately on Cloud 9 because of the painting I did. But I wasn't allowed to enjoy that with anyone, anyone. Not the family. Couldn't enjoy it with my fellow artists. And at dinner, I would, I would,

very rare for me to drink during the week, drink alcohol, but I'd miss the celebratory beers. So like the waiter comes around, is like, you get you guys a drink. Very, very normally, I'd be like, no, no, all good, just water's fine. I was like, I will. I will have a beer.

Because I'll have a single. I'll have a same time. I did the best. And I, and I was like, okay, like, you know, for a Wednesday night or whatever. And so I had to sit there at dinner while everyone's having the spring rolls and just go, good on you, mate. That's a great party.

I should have got two beers, so I had someone to cheers with. I'm just like a heck of a painting today, mate. That's what we're talking about. Keep those brush strokes up. Good on you. Good on you, Da Vinci. I'm, um, and Jay. Hello, mate.

Do you still, Jay? Mate, stick around for the whole show, if you want. We talked last week about my wedding is happening later on in the year. The suggestion was a game, because I'm in the planning phase at the moment, a game where you both have to come to me with three things to try and weave into the wedding as a suggestion for something we might do in activity. Yep. Some element of the wedding.

Element of the wedding. And I'll try and bring them up and record them during planning with Beck and the wedding planner. It's a game between the two of you. There's going to be three things. things each, but all are varying difficulty. We have your 1.1, which is something simple that we might be able to put in, a 2-pointer, and then a 3-pointer. I will try and lay all 6th of the table, and we'll see who takes out the victory.

Jack, I don't know how you've gone with this homework assignment, but the mine races with excitement. Now, I think I was split in my incentives. Obviously, I want to win this game just due to my competitive nature. I want to score more points than Jack, and that means getting more ideas accepted. But then I am also, if I'm being really honest, tempted. To go bold. Well, tempted to go bold, but also to go...

To embarrass me. No, not the embarrassment to you, but this will be fun to hear Andy have to sell this here, knowing that it might not be something that Becca proves of, but I'd like to hear Andy have to earnestly sell this in. So I think the higher mine go in points value, maybe the more I was thinking the latter. Jack, kick itself. What's your one pointer?

My one pointer I actually think is a great idea that you should execute. Great. Because you do the Guess Who game during the tennis, I thought, get a custom game of Guess Who made with all the wedding guests as characters, and you can have them made and everyone takes it home as a gift. Oh, right. There's a lot of people in there.

Maybe just the top 30. Because remember last... We are ranking the guests today. We were talking about... You've made the top 80, but how many people are. any, you know, lower do you think you would have been on the number? This would, you would find out if you're in the top 30

if you make the guess who board. Do you think you're ever going to sit down and play a game of guess who with my mate? I think your Andy's auntie. Not invited. Oh, sorry. No, he's probably something. No, I love him.

Yeah, I'm couldn't do it. It's probably something that you play once, but it's a great, keep safe for you guys as well. Is that your one point? That's my one point. Oh, jean. Because I thought that was realistic that you could do that. A lot of effort and a lot of money.

And I think Andrew's right. He's got people for that. But I think Anna's right. Like, as a guest, you'd be like, I don't know who these people are. Like, not all of them. It's a great icebreaker on the night as well to go like, oh, is I saw it.

There's 80 boards floating around. What are we all carrying around with us like to the dance floor and stuff? And the cards? So you don't carry around, but you can chat around. about it. Like, oh,

have you seen the game we've got? When do we give it to them? Give it to them at the start. Yep. So everyone carries a board game for the entire wedding.

Okay, there's a board game table that you leave it on until then. Before or after all the men get given suits, which was right here. That's just making this like the Oscars.

He just wants it to rain down gifts on the guests. I'll try my best, but I have an easy one point of free. Okay. Easy. Let's have a little bit of fun to when Beck has to throw the bouquet.

the reception, let's get a T-shirt canon. Oh, great. That's a good idea. Easy. That's fun. That's how you do a one point in a day. Great, okay. But how are you going to do that?

You need to be a high roof. But how you get a bunch of flowers to work in a T-shirt canon? Because doesn't it have to have high pressure built up from the T-shirt roll out? My God, mate. Stuff him in a roll of T-shirts. It doesn't matter too much. Have a T-shirt, mate. Beck and Andy, you know, married.

Just married T-shirt. Wrap up the flowers in that. Pop it in the cannon. Okay. Jeez. Jack, your two-pointer. God, this is why you're not a wedding planner. You can't just fall the furs a hurdle.

You solve the problem. My two-pointer is say to Beck that Jack will play beautiful acoustic guitar as we walk down the aisle. Okay. That should have been your one-pointer. I think she's more likely. Okay, this is interesting. This is interesting because I've also got a Jack-related two-pointer. I would like you to say to Beck that because it came up on the show that Hames are groomsmen and Jack feels left out,

I would like you to put forward that he is the flower boy. And say it would be really meaningful to him. And it's because Jack's not in the official party, it's affected the on-air mood of the show. Have you chosen a flower girl or flower boy? Yeah, well, you have. Because you've got nephews and nieces. Yeah.

I mean, that's pretty fun. There's no rules. You can just have someone special to you. And you are a little boy. This discerns the order now. I'll have to start with the flower boy and then reach back to the guitar. That means we're not going to get Jack as a flower boy, doesn't it, realistically?

Please try. You're never going to. Please try. A lot of this depends how well you can sell something in. You must try. Flower boy one, I'm going to have to say to Beck, I think it'd be funny. It would mean a lot to him.

And his nickname on the show he's just a little boy. And people will get it. Yes. People will get it. People get it. People get it, but actually would mean a lot to him. Okay, I'll add that bit in, but all I'm saying is she will, if I go earnestly to say Jack, I think Jack should be the flower boy,

she won't believe me. Okay. Yeah, so I'll have to dress them up somehow, but that's fine. But me playing acoustic guitar could be earnest. I think that could be earnest. Okay. What's your three-pointer? My three-pointer is you suggest to Beck that you both sing your wedding vowels.

Okay. Mm-hmm. Hame, your three-pointer. I saw something on Instagram. Sorry, with the singing, is it too like a tour song, like a parody song? Acapella. Acapella. Okay.

Like meaningfully? It has to be. Yeah. You can't, Andy, you can't do parody wedding fails. Why not? Fair enough. I mean, but usually that is the one bit. Can we take this?

The whole point of this is we have gathered here too, like rather than to do, you know, I like big love and I cannot love. Save a bit of the reception. I saw a thing on Instagram where the guy, instead of a ring bearer, had his golf cart, like electric golf buggy bringing in the rings. Now that's been done,

but that was like a bit of a golf touch to the ring moment. Would you get, instead of a box that has the rings in them, a you make a little golf ball size box and hogs, who's the groomsman, chips the rings for you. That's a lot. It's like, from off the, off the, it's like, does anyone you have the rings? And so you make a custom-made golf ball that has the rings in them.

Yep. And he's got a little bit of astro-turf, you know, 10 metres off the podium or wherever the, you know, the main stage. Yep. He's a good golfer. I'd volunteer, but. No, I don't know. Too much pressure on the chair. And Cammy, who is your brother, who's the best man.

He doesn't play golf. So he'd happily, we'd all love to see Hawks have a go. Yeah. Exactly. And then I think it would be, I mean, now I want to do this. I'd like to catch you. So, yeah, you and Cam and a slips squad, and Hawks is going for you. Yep.

But obviously, Kemp can be a first slip. It actually should be going for Kamm because it is the best man hands over the rings. Right. I will be the backup catcher. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the archer lighting the flame at the Barcelona Olympics. Yes, but better.

Flaming golf ball wouldn't be hard. I don't know how much it adds, but we could easily just have leather gloves on. I love that. I kind of want to do that one. Yeah. So that one I'm going to... I have a four-pointer. Okay.

I think we should run that experiment with hogs anyway. Yes or no. Just to see how well it goes. Yeah. What do you mean? Like bring him in and get him to just practice it. Well, you guys line up as if you're at the altar. He chips the ring.

We get the ring ball made. Yep. Chip it in, run it. we even film it and then you can give it to Becker's to say this is what we want to do. If she says no to it, I'll say, let us show you. And we all get dressed in suits and run a demo. Yeah, great. Four-pointer.

And again, this is just to like, I just want to hear you propose this, but you have to do it straight face. Just be like, look, you know, you've been together a long time. You know, you're getting married. It's wonderful. But as a testament to who you are, the individuals you are now coming. together in marriage as a union. There's a testament to where you've come from. You create a memory walk as people are coming into the,

wherever it is, church function place. A memory walk with all your ex-partners. And so it shows like photos of her exes, photos of your exes. And it's like, these are the, you know, these are relationships that helped Beck and Annie learn along the way. You have to put it in. And they girls could be black and white, but Beck's in color at the end.

That's nice. Oh, no, no. A couple of loose ends to catch up on. First one, Hemsworth, hitting a ball out of Rod Laverina. Good news. Rod Laver Arena reached out and said, yeah, we'd love to have. Great, one piece of the puzzle. Operation.

They had said no, that was going to be tricky. There would be no reason for them to say no. Like, it doesn't degrade. No one loses respect for Rod Laver Arena that it can't contain all your balls. Like, you know, it's, you're, all balls can escape. It's not a ball jail. It does a great job as an arena. It's not its job to contain all the balls. It's the, it's real. It's going to say, it's the person who's claimed, and I quote, I'm 150% confident that I can hit a ball out of here. It's their job to hit one out. Jake pointed out to us, he got confused

when he was listening to us talk about it. We didn't specify what type of tennis, whether it was table tennis or court tennis. Yes. Fuzzy ball tennis. Yes. So, um, so, I'm sorry, but yeah, it's definitely court tennis, not totem tennis. Or small ball tennis. Alex wrote in and said at a recent Australian Open, the Italian Dardernie, angry, hit a ball out of Margaret Court Arena. Now, I'm not sure.

Much smaller. How much lower is the roof? Off the top of my head, I couldn't tell you. Yeah. But it does seem smaller, doesn't it? Significant. Yeah, if you just vibe enough how it feels in there. Also, too, the way, you know.

It went easy. Easily. Yeah. But to achieve escape velocity that ball, it gets harder and harder. And every meteor actually is exponentially harder than the previous metre

to get that ball out of the... I could hit a ball out of Margaret Court. Oh, right. Here we go. If you don't get a limb. Sounds like we have a song. Sounds like we have a signed shot at hand. I did get an email.

It's not at hand. I'm only just remembering it now. And apologies to the man that sent it in. He'll know who he is. But he told me a tale and I'll find it if we need. this. He said when he was growing up playing junior tennis with his mate, sometimes we're waiting for their mum and dad to come pick him up from tennis. They would play a game where there was

big, big, very, very tall tennis lights. It might even be near, you know, Mark and a court or whatever. Like, it sounded like they were good young tennis players. And it would be nighttime. They're waiting for their lift. And they'll get a ball and hit it, like, hit it up past the lights, like into the darkness and then stand there and wait for the ball to come back down and can't play chicken with the balls that got back through the light. And he was saying his friend could hit it. And sometimes it'd be gone for like five or six seconds. He says, like, we've gone for ages.

And it became a thing that his friend could hit it so high. Yep. That you just seemed impossible that it was up there for that long. And one night, now this is their story, and I'm not adding mayo here. This is, that's why it stuck with me. The ball came down. And then a little bit later, a bat came down. It hit a bat.

It hit a bat. It killed a bat. Wow. What dazed a bat. Wow. Dazed a bat. That's what the joker needed in the batman. So, and I think he was saying, if needs me, if we can't get onto Hemsworth or if you need someone to draw,

if we find this guy looks like Hemsworth, that would be huge. He's got like a bat concussion on his record. Well, Hemsworth is in Australia. I have had that confirmed. Hemsworth is aware of the invite. Aware of the invite. Yes. How do you know?

I just know because the friends of friends have passed the back. on particularly, and we've gone out to management, but we, people that know him have what have we learnt on this show? There's only one way to get movement on this. We contact his hairdresser, like we did with the treasurer. And we have a groundswell campaign. Yes. And I think, I think if you run into Hemsworth, the message should be not in, not, we don't want to bully him into this. I think we want to support him. We want to see him do it. We've had that, we've had that problem in the past where someone declared that they could eat 100 dumplings and And they backed out.

Lawrence Peck. Yeah. The name that she'll live in it for me. And so, and that probably was too harsh. We probably tried to push him too hard towards the dumplings. Yep. We would have been, hey, there's 100 over here if you're feeling hungry. Yeah.

What do you recommend people say if they see Lee? They can't wait to see you do it. Can't we see it. Just positive. We're on your side, mate. We know you can do it. We're 160%. Or even just can't wait to see how a crack at it.

So it doesn't even feel like he has to do it per se. You're right. You're right. Good mindset. Anything else, Sam? Loose ends? Yeah, I got a loose end. I thought I'd leave it a few shows before

bringing this up just to allow fair play. Jack, could we please see the prototype for the board game that you made over the summer? Yes. I have made progress on the board game. Well, for people who don't know, this is what Jack said last year, last show, I think. Jack, how's the board game going? The way you said, oh, just about.

You can't even say you're busy. No, I can't, yeah. This is your opportunity to say, I'm not doing it. Oh, I was about to say I'll do it over summer. I know. I can see these faces. Appreciate that. So when we come back, when we come back, when we have some progress?

Yeah, it will be, there will be a prototype to play. Jack, he just went, damn. He was listening to the whole thing going, I can get out of that. I think if I can demonstrate any progress I've legally won here. What a shame, because as you brought that up, I was like, yes, you've done work on this. Oh, you have? Yeah. So I've got, but I don't have it.

I'm not a prototype stage. This is like when you go to international car shows and they come out on stage and they go, now, I know you're all expecting us to unveil the new models. We've done work on it. We have done work on it. But unfortunately, this giant sheet is simply covering a cardboard box. Because we would love to have a car here But I think a round of applause

For the work we've done So I am at that stage I'm not ready to pull the sheet off But I can tell you, I can give you the title And the theme of the Hamish and Andy board game All right, this is better than nothing. Well, this is an interesting hammy Are we going to say, do we have any say here?

I think if the board game's being made with our name Well, maybe it's good that he's saying this without a prototype Because we could like You guys can definitely knock it back Because eventually, like if you say, oh, we're not endorsing this or part of this at all, I'm not going to be based on. There's a chance I won't even keep making it if you say, if you do endorse it. So currently, current signs haven't been strong.

I mean, it wouldn't say it's been runaway progress. No, we're close to getting the bees. Can I? Tell me you're warming to the bees. I'm not. I'm not. All right. The Haymachianney board game.

Now, this is the direction I decided to go down. When I was a kid, we had the Hey, Hey, Hey, It's Saturday board game that was a bit like this, you know, a spin-off of something that was popular. Yeah, well, I hope not like this because I think when you look at it, if you look at it through adult eyes, it was certainly a cash grab. It was. And that's what I was going to say. We never played Hey, Hey, Hey, It's Saturday, the board game.

It wasn't good. But against other board games, you're not going to play. It wasn't good. So we could do something tacky like that. Oh, put Hamish and Andy up there, roll the dice, collect some Hamish and Andy coins. You know, we sell a few copies, but we're not proud of the board game. I actually happen to be a big board game fan. Yes, you might remember.

That's why three or four years ago, whenever this started, that's why we gave you the job. You're a board game aficionado. Yes. So I look past your monopolies, and I go for games like, Set Elizabeth Catan, ticket to ride, Evadale. Any I've heard of? No, see, you know.

Are they strategy games? They're just more. You would have heard of Catan, surely. That's where you're trading wheat and resources to build cities. No. Yeah, no, I was going to say, Jack, I would, as your legal counsel, I'd recommend you not pursue this line of encouragement. Oh, well, the whole game.

Well, we do have, we have Settlers of Catan at our house. And I have the app on my phone, which is how to easily learn Settlers of Katan. Right. To teach the kids, the game is still sealed and I've never looked at the map. Is it like Monopoly? You just buy things. No, no. It's, the problem with these games is,

It's a steep learning curve. But once you've learned, the payoff's huge. The game is really fun to play. Okay. And all these games... This isn't the ad, by the way. You don't see that advertise going, okay, look, I know it's a steep learning curve.

That is what's stopped us from getting into... But I do hear people say, especially as a family board game, you know, the rewards are there. What's wrong with, like, a taboo or scagery? No, no. These games are different. Unfortunately, I face also a pretty low attention span in our family when, you know, trying to learn games. Yeah.

We tried to learn backgammon the other week. It was a three-minute YouTube explainer. 40 seconds in, Zoh goes, this is pointless. I go, well, I think we should stick it out. And she goes, this is unnecessarily complex, right? And it really wasn't. I think she just doesn't, that's not the way she likes to learn. And it said something like, you know, there are four quadrants of six points.

And so I was like, oh, my God, what's with all the math? I was like, well, we, we. we must give it a chance because it has been around for thousands of years and millions of people do play backgammon. There could be something in this. Anyway, we still, we haven't learnt backgammon yet. Well, she would hate these type of board games because it's not... She doesn't listen to the podcast,

so I wasn't expecting her to be the number one customer of the Haymish and any board game. Games like Settlers of Catan, it's not uncommon to have a 10 to 15 minute YouTube video explaining the rules. That's why I've got the thing on my phone. There's an app to explain the rules. Okay. So a lot of themes of these games exist in either, like fantasy or hark back to simpler times.

So that's where I just wanted to give you a bit of a setup for the Hamish and Andy board game called Common Manlandia. Players compete to have the nicest homestead in the ancient land of Common Manlandia, but they mustn't lose touch along the way. Oh, it's good, Jack. I'm all for a complex board game here because we want the, I know it's a niche sale. It is a niche sale, but we'll be rewarded. What's more important to us?

total sales or people coming to us on the street and saying, I love, I love common manlandia. One person. And when we find them, that will be like, what we'll tell Jack. So the idea, I haven't worked it all out yet, but the idea is you start with like 10 touch points and you don't want to lose touch. So if you, as you're building your homestead,

the goal is to build the nicest homestead. But as you put in things like a pool or a tennis court, that's going to get you homestead points, but you're going to lose touch points along the way. So if you finish the game and you've lost all your touch points, you're out. I think I'd still have a few left with my house that aren't buying. You would be out before you've even moved in. You tried to tell me in Jack yesterday that literally the sentence is this,

we've just finished putting in the second spiral staircase. The second spiral staircase. And then we're like laughing, just general shock and all. from us. And then you actually said with a straight face, no, once the furniture's in, it will actually seem a lot smaller than it is. We're like,

and he would lose on the first term. This would be like Andy going straight to jail and monopoly and never getting out. You would have huge homestead points at the end of the game. There's not enough points in the game. But you've lost touch, so you're out. So it goes to the next person. Right.

Me. Very in touch. Oh, gosh. So, wait, am I continuing or is you putting a pin in it? Yeah, see how you go. We'll check him. when? It's five months? Yep. Okay.

Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamish and Andy.com. Hi, everyone. Actually, Hamish returning here. Returning with a slight favour to ask if this applies to you. I've got a bit of a side project that I'm working on that's going to be, we're going to be doing something later in the year. Essentially, though, I need people that need a job done, a task done, if you will. There is a website that sort of handles this, but for legal reasons, you know, I can't use their website. I need your jobs, your tasks that could range from like a couple of hundred bucks or a couple of thousand dollars.

It could be, it really could be any field. It could be you, someone you know, family member community thing. It could be DIY, you know, farm work, auto repairs, clothes making, baking, basically anything that you or someone you know would pay a specialist to do. If you can go to haematarsker.com, haemtasker.com, register your interest there. You never know you might get that job done for a better price and to a very, still a very, very good degree. You can help us out. That's great.

If not, sorry for taking up a little bit. bit extravitant.