Hamish & Andy - 324 - The Wedding Game Results

Episode Date: March 25, 2026

Upset Andy makes its return for the year - and you guys deliver! Andy reveals the results of the Wedding Game, along with Bec’s reactions to his questionable pitches during planning. Meanwhile, scientists in the UK have determined the most attractive dance style for men trying to impress women. Naturally, Hamish wants to put it to the test, setting up a dance contest between the boys! 1. Upset Andy 2. Andy’s Wedding Pitches 3. Hame’s Follow Up Wedding Pitch Attempt 4. Dance Contest 

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. Ahoie to me curved magnum, Amish. Not a product. I don't think it's an ice cream I'm familiar with. No, I don't remember the magnum curve.

A curved variety to satisfy all the customers that hate the symmetry. It's the standard plank of the magnum. Well, they were already quite curved. They are. I mean, you can find curves. Yeah, you can find curves on a magnum. Ahoy to me round the liners. Liners?

Liners. L-I-N-E-R-S? Yep. Are we something in like deep math, like trigonometry world? I'm a round shader. Oh, mate. Are we types of pencil? Gosh, you're close.

but Hamish should be more familiar with this than Jack. Some sticks. Actually, actually, no. Not the ice cream to be clear. Jack and Hamish. But you would probably be more familiar with the drumstick ice cream because I don't prefer it as an ice cream type. Jack and Hamish would be more familiar with this,

although Jack would have had it very difficult to see the person using all three of these when he got his. Give it to us. What was they having trouble seeing? The big tattooed birds on your back. Oh, they're their needles. They're the primary types of tattooed needles. Yes.

Yes, Jack. They would have had to show it to you first to go. I'm just going to show you this gun so you know that these, you know that these birds will be there forever. And I know we keep asking you, but you still want them. They didn't do that for the tattoo shop. Because I'm just showing you the needle. You must understand this is forever.

Yep, give me the birds. Wow. Right. I can't believe with somebody... What are you doing birds on that boy for? He said he wants them. I can't believe. With the tattoos that you have on your arm

that I'm getting made fun of for the tattoos I have. But you know I'm not wrong. Ridiculous. You know I'm not wrong. Ridiculous. I'm also. Stephen, who outbladed some audio at haemish dandy.com. Gidey, Haymish and Andy.

And gooday, Jack. Mate, holding the show together as always. Thank you. Steve here from Port Macquarie with a pleasure I reckon will land firmly on Andy's side of the fairway. Every year the boys and I do a golf trip. Usually it's chaos. So this year I went full Andy.

I built an app for the trip. Tea times, room allocations, itinerary. No printouts. No where to next group chat panic. The boys reckon it's overkill, but they're quietly pleasured by how easy it makes everything. Hamish would probably call it admin gone mad. But somewhere out there, Andy's checking his hogs in China calendar

and feeling a deep sense of peace knowing it exists. And if he ever saw the app himself, I reckon we'd hear not one. but two honks of the horn on the next pleasure Andy segment. Anyway, keep up the good work on the pod. Cheers. I forgot I honked the horn of pleasure. That is really good, Stephen.

Yes, nothing better than pleasing all the, pleasuring all the guys on a golf trailer. Hey, what are we starting to show with? Mate, I hate to take you from the giddy highs of pleasure and hearing about a two honk situation. But we're going to upset you. Thing is neat and practical because that's the way he likes it.

But what if it wasn't? Upset Andy. What a swinging around about, hey? I know. What the lies of a golf app. Because you would have to develop it, troubleshoot it, whatever. But then the guys on your golf trip would be like, just be texting you going, what's going on.

Be like, put it in the app, mate. Yeah, I can't use it. That is probably true. down to go to. Jordan, a hoy to you. Ahoy, boys. Jordan,

do you have something to upset Andy? I do. I've got a 2022, what my youth in 2020. It's got the blind spot sensors on the mirrors. Little orange light comes on

when you change lanes. Oh, you're Ute. Yep, yep. In my Ute, yep. It beeped pretty obnoxiously at you if you've got a car beside, you try and change lanes, steers you back into your lane a little bit.

A couple of months after I bought it, so it was about four years ago now, I got the, I've got a new tow bar put on it, and the installer put the sensors back in upside down. So it constantly reads the road as a car in my blind spot. Oh, wow. So the sensors stay on always. So constantly the sensor now thinks the road is a threat.

It just flashes. Yeah. You get flashed and beeped at the whole time. Every single drive. Every time I change lanes, it beeps at me. Even if I drift out of the centre of my lane, it beeps. I do. You can turn it off, but not.

once your car's in motion. So once you're on the freeway, which is when you notice it, it's too late to turn off. So probably 90% of the trips I make. Jordan, I'm with you, man. To get that fixed.

I have not had a chance. I have not a chance to get off. Life is busy. Life is so busy. It's what I mean he doesn't understand. We are flat out over here. And it's very, very hot that one.

I would hate that. And I'd be getting it fixed immediately. He doesn't have time. He doesn't have time. And I get it, man. Get it fixed. Alex, a hooy to you, Alex. Ahoy, boo.

Alex, what have you got to upset Andrew? So, yeah, so over the summer, driving home from the dog park, I've felt like the dog needed a drink, so I've poured a little bit of water in the cup holder for him. And he's having a little drink at every red light. Like a little trough. When we get home, there's a little bit of water left in the cup holder. Who's got the time to run in there, grab a towel, come all the way back out, dry it out. So just leave the water in there, let nature do a thing.

What is nature doing? Nature evaporates, always. mosquitoes, the stagnant water. Cetos. What an absolute panic merchant. Mosquitoes. Nature will, life will find a way, and nature will just turn that into a little cloud

that will float harmlessly out the window the next time you're driving along. This is a two-parter for me, because the idea of the trough... That's awesome. I love. Yes. But then the idea of getting the water out,

I really didn't lie. Leaving the water in there. I've got a cup holder between the two front seats. It's a sort of a double, I suppose, like almost an eight, a figure-eight. Yeah. the amount of like spilled coffee crumbs, there is a crust in mine. You can't get in there and clean it.

I think it's just too tight for a hand. I like the idea. I'd either keep a chamois close by for the wipeout, but I also just like the idea of a takeout, like building a contraption that can kind of. No one's asking for this, Andy. He's using what's already there. He's not going to extra effort.

He's going to less effort than having a cup even. Yeah, I know. But the dog, getting a spot for the dog to have a, have a glass of water. Also take it out and then use it as a dog bowl at home. You want to make a trough, you want to make a dog bowl that fits into the cup holder? No, no, no, no. I reckon there's a market for that.

Well, why says Alex? Because there's already a little trough in the car. Too much admin. Has it an admin nightmare. Thanks, Alex. Don't mind it, though. That's not entirely an upset, Andy, because it sparked. It sparked an idea, but I'm with Alex.

Like, oh, on the phone to China. No, that's not right. Yeah, we've already got one. have dog troughs in the car. Matilda. Matilda, go for it. What have you got to upset and I? Oh, hooy, Hayne. Oh, boy with the bird tattoo.

Oh, hoi. Okay, so my wardrobe has hanging space that sort of sit quite high up because it's above a set of drawers. So all the clothes hanging on the top rail are pretty tricky to grab at the hangar unless you sort of jump up and grab them. Gotcha. So it's sort of above your, you're reaching up sort of well above head height to get them? Yes.

Gotcha. Yes. I don't like that to begin with. No. Well, it's got its own handle you can pull down, which brings the whole rack down to you, which must be nice. Yeah. It would be great if I had all the time in the world, but obviously we're pretty flat out over here. So the system I run is like a firm grab and pull from the bottom of a jumper or a blazer.

Snap the hanger. Delivers the item straight to you. Wait, so you're snapping a hanger every time you need a coat. I'm familiar with this. I snap hangars all the time. 95%. And you can tell when it's going to snap, but you just have to send it anyway. And do you leave the snap hang?

Because my wardrobe's full of snapped hangars. And I just put them, I put him back on. I've got a half hangers in mine. Why, from the same thing, trying to grab something off a hanger. I just don't have time to, how do you do it? Do you just patiently take it out? I just, I'm just, that's where my snap hangers come from. I go, I go two tugs.

If it's not coming off in two, you're getting snapped. Do you know what? Do you know what? Do you know what I hate? Zoe bought these hangars. Hangers or wooden hangars? I love, I want plastic hangars, but Zoe bought these hangars that it kind of have a felt covering.

Oh, I think bought the same thing. I thought, wow. Why do we have these hangers? They're holding the t-shirt. They don't know when it's time to quit. Yeah, exactly. I snap those left right and center. All my, every of my shirts are like stretched necks, like any jumper that's on one

is just stretched because I'm ripping it off as hard as I can. I've even got in my cupboard, this will upset you. When you have little kids, like baby age, they have little satin hangers that aren't very big. They're for baby clothes. And I think it's like, I don't know, fancy dress like a dress a baby might wear to like a 40th or something yeah oh like a like a nice dress yeah like a nice dress i thought you're like i don't know why they're satin i think it's like yeah i

remember those yeah so it's definitely one of my daughter's old coat hangers i've got it in my room but the the stick on it is for a baby and it can't hold on to it can just hold onto it's a shirt and i do have the baby hanger there that i use in emergencies but it's satin so it really does slip off quite a lot. So I just have one shoulder kind of of a chaper put on and if I had time, I would replace all the hangers. We'd all love to have fresh hangars, but no one's got the time. I've never ever caught. You've got a little pile of broken part and they just sort of tangle and come out when you pull a clothes out sometimes. It's like a nice little Easter egg at the end of the day.

You pull up, yeah. Yep, I hear you so much on this before. Never snap to hang out. Cote hangers are the bane of my life. So much frustration in my life comes from coat hangers. Because also my cupboards are 110 percent full. Nothing can get out. Yeah, yeah, that's true. It's so jammed in there that you're pulling, it's holding onto it at the hanger level,

and then the other shirts are squishing stuff in at the table. Honestly, my, so many, I have so many piles of clothes, like, waiting to be put away. Not because I'm lazy. I mean, there's a little bit of that, but there's no space. I just don't have the strength to get him in the wardrobe. Like, I don't have the strengths to be like, but are you hanging T-shirt?

Not hanging, like a shirt. A shirt. A polo. Yeah, all right. Not often, but maybe. Beck asked, Beck said to me, with the new house, she's like, I think we should hang all your T-shirts. Well, you've got space.

I said, why? Oh, they got space. I mean, mate. Why would you hang a T-shirt? Because you have a 17-car garage, so you can just get some rats. Tim, final up, said Andy. Oh, hi, hello. Oh, my friend, mate.

Ahoie, mate, a hoie to you. So, at Christmas time, my miss is bought a bag of prines from Woolies or Coles or something. Yep. And we're just sitting there watching. and the cricket, and I look over, and she's peeling the prawns, heads, tails, entrails, all that sort of stuff, and just throws them back in the bag with the freshies. I mean, I get it. She's only got one bag.

You're not going to chuck them on the, because it's better than throwing them on the floor. Oh, my gosh. And so what then has to, like, sift through that to find the new fresh one? Not a big deal. Yeah, it's not that bad. You know, it's shell on shell. It's shell on shell. I mean, you know, rinsing them once they come out before she does her thing?

No, I haven't got time for that. No, no. What do you mean if you're accurate with the poo pipe, you need to rinse that? Hey, Tim, any thought of you going across to help? It's like the pistachio. I'll often have a, any time I encounter eating pistachia nuts. Who's got time for two bowls, shell bowl, fresh bowl? Oh, hey.

But then you're putting confusion back into the bowl. You can figure it out, mate. It's pretty easy to tell which ones are fully, which one's a shell. The time that you spend trying to find. Save it. You just keep moving. Keep moving. Don't go.

No one's got time to go back to the cupboard. Tim, that upsets me, but thank you very much for joining us, bud. No worry, Alex. All right, the results of the wedding game. Yes. Last week on the show, Challenges put to both of you to have a three-point idea, a two-point idea, and a one-point idea.

These are ideas that I was going to present to Beck as if they are my ideas. Yep. And if they were added to the wedding, you guys were going to point. I want to clarify something about the rules as we go through the results. Obviously, if it's a yes from Beck, that's maximum points.

I think it maybe has to be half points. Yeah, that's a good idea. Because we didn't discuss that. That's true. And some of them were bold ideas. Tough to get a straight, yes, I reckon on a few of them. And you've got, I mean, you've got months and months and months ahead of you. It's not like the weddings next week.

No. So you're not going to have a straight. Yep, great. That's in. Well, we just have locked this in. We should have organized this earlier. Yeah, exactly. So you are more likely to get, let's just sit on that for a bit.

So, and then, so maybe the half points and obviously a no is no points. Let's start with the one-pointers. Haim? Good luck, Jack. Yeah, you too. You suggested we use a t-shirt gun, the ones that you use the basketball to fire a bouquet. Yes, and if needs be, you could have a specially printed t-shirt, like, you know, Beck and Andy's wedding, as that you load in there to build up the air pressure

and you jam the bouquet in that, and that's how you get proper propulsion for those that are thinking of how it would work. I've got to say, it's been a busy week of trying to just splatter these ideas. I was going to ask if you tried to do them all in one go. Yeah, good idea, smart. And finally, I think we should have mushrooms at the wedding because I just had a heap.

That's what I'm going with all these great ideas. So I tried to pick different times. This one, in bed, 1123 p.m., both quiet, winding down. And I tried to wind in George and Fred, my nephews, who love the basketball, but the NBA's not on. And so this could be a chance for them to see T-shirt gun. Right. This is how it went. George and Fred were pretty excited about seeing T-shirt guns at the NBA.

But I'm not sure if the NBA is going to be on. But I thought, would it be, are you going to throw your bouquet? Yeah, probably. Would you do a T-shirt go? No, I'd throw it normally. Fair enough. And the kids won't even be there. It's another good point.

Mate, that is a terrible way. I knew I'd be played for this. How was that a good sell? You were surrendering. immediately and your cover story of doing it for the nephews, you didn't think that through at all. You didn't think that through. But once she said, no, there was no, it doesn't matter what he does after that.

There was no coming back from where she was out there. I knew the criticism would be of my delivery for this. It was a weak. I'm picking my parents. You'd be petrified with your wife. Remember when Mr. Burns throws out the first pitch on the Zimpsons and it just like dribbles out of his hands? The John Howard Bowl.

I'm going to say, it wasn't my way. biggest. But, you know, it did an important date. The absolute opposite of a T-shirt, Canon. That was one PSI. It didn't even sound like Beck was there for half of it. I thought you were speaking into the mirror. Okay.

Hey, Jack, your idea for the one point. Yep. Was a guess whom gift, which was basically guess who, but with all the guests on it as a gift for everybody attending the wedding. I like it. I attempted this Sunday Avo while we're doing the laundry. So if there's a bit of laundry sound effects in the background, bear with us. I was thinking it could be fun for a possible gift for like wedding party gift,

the whole congregation. You know how just like a nod to guess whom, which I had for the tennis, we could do a guess whom with like all of the guests. How are you getting any people? pick our best, like most interesting 30 or something. That's rude. Bit rude. People will be excited to see their faces.

What if we did multiple sets? You can do that. Could be something? Yeah, maybe. It's a maybe. It was the world's weakest maybe. That was the world's... There is no way that that maybe was just someone.

going, I need to get out of this conversation. It was a smokescreen maybe. There's no way back seriously considering that. No, actually, with multiple sets, and that's a great idea, I wish I thought of it. Yeah. I still wouldn't be surprised if you go with that at the wedding. It's a good idea. I would.

No one wants to carry around a board game all night. Like, not everyone at the wedding knows everyone at the wedding. No, so then group them with like-minded people. Oh, how fun, to have a massive logistical task before. before the wedding, you're going, hey guys, just before the wedding, please of these 80 people put a little tick next to who you know. I'm trying to get a complicated Venn diagram going on of who knows who at the wedding, can't say why.

If anybody can run that spreadsheet, it's Andy. Half a point to Jack. I'm definitely not doing it, but half a point, yeah. The two pointers, this is one where I tried to fold it back in together. Got home straight after the pod. This is midweek 7.30 p.m. started with Hames, to remind people, you were suggesting that Jack be a flower boy. Yes, because he felt left out.

Yes, so here's my pitch for Hames, two-pointer. Podcast was fun today. Is it? There was something that it came up that I thought could be funny, because it came up that Hame had a role at the wedding, and Jack doesn't. Would you be open to Jack being a flower boy? It's our wedding.

I'm not, it's not a podcast sketch. Okay. You thought about it though. But boy, did. That was the longest silence ever. I mean, there was a part of me hoping that she was going to start slowly applauding and going yes, yes, yes. But I guess is the silence stretched into its ninth minute at the beginning of the

I think this is the silence of a woman that it doesn't warrant a response. It doesn't feel that her fiancé is taking this act of public love seriously and is looking for more shits and giggles. And your retreat was as fast as I've ever heard. I know. You're going to hear a bit more of that. You're going to hear a bit more of a petrified man suggesting something, waiting for response and then really trying to move on.

Thing is, I really... I mean, we're not that we want to rush through this, but I have low hopes now of scoring. I have low hopes of posting anything on the scoreboard. I did, though, take the opportunity to double down in their conversation and keep going with Jack's two-pointer, which was him playing guitar. So unfortunately for Jackie, he is off a pretty sour bass. Yes, but this is less like a sketch,

because I would play real romantic guitar for you walking down the aisle. Okay, so let's have a listen. What about, Jack? Because the joke was he doesn't have a role. What about like just him playing some acoustic guitar or something as we go? Not really, but you can actually find something to go. Not the guitar.

Don't really want Jack. It seems. in terms of it makes it things about the podcast. Yeah, fair enough. Fair enough. What you heard was someone... There's that kind of screech again

as Andy peels out of the conversation. And what you heard was Beck, exiting the room. Those steps was like, I'm out of here, and that's the end of that. I mean, she raises a stunning point. Yeah. It's not about the podcast. I mean, it is actually little just you know,

oh, it's all about the podcast at the moment because I'm playing a game with you that you don't. that you don't know about because you don't listen to the podcast. I think the tough thing, I mean, yeah,

Jack, you were never going to score points. And I'm glad Beck held her ground too because I think we were all going, this is not what she wants. No. But I think when you started Andy by going, I'll look,

the joke was like Jack doesn't have a role, so how can we fix that? I think without me to speak for Beck, in her mind, she's rightly going. This isn't about fixing the joke. It's not my responsibility as the bride to fix the joke.

To make a special day. During that conversation, I'm sure we can find something for it, which I thought we're going to get. That's great negotiating. What she means is, hey, Jack can go and play guitar in the park around the corner. And if we get it. He's not the wind's going in the right direction. We may hear it.

He's not doing any. I think what Beck is trying to say there is he's not a flower boy. He's not the guitarist. He's not doing anything that would make the video. Yes. If he wants to be in the car park, helping people park, sure, we can find him a job, but not anywhere near my bridal walk.

Fair enough. We'll go with Jack first this time around. This is the three pointers. These were meant to be the hardest ones to get across the line. Jack, you suggested that we sing our vows. Yep. Just to give context, I just got back from walking the dog, and I found Beck in her wardrobe.

and so I tried to give an air that I had this great idea while walking the dog. Good luck. I had a fun film of The Walk. Would we, because we love our music so much, would we sing a little portion of our bouts? Maybe. Maybe? I don't know. It's like a pretty sacred thing.

I don't know. It starts getting a bit cheesy. I'll have to think of that. It's a maybe. It's a maybe. No, no, I don't think that's a maybe. I'll have a think about it. It's a maybe.

She sounded like she choked. I think we have to listen to her body language over her words. I think you're just hearing someone that, I think Beck's actually probably questioning this whole thing. Yeah, you're probably right. Like, Beck's tone here is of a woman dealing with, large internal shock going, I think she's going,

these are such bad ideas. Do I really want to marry this man? Have I made a giant mistake? I think that's kind of what we're here. Do I even want to do the vows at all? Well, I mean, if a third umpike comes out, the word maybe was uttered from Beck, and we'll talk about it later.

It has to count as a maybe. It takes Jack to two points. I mean, I have to get this now. I have to get a three-pointer to... A three-pointer from home will get you the win, though. Remind me what it was. Hames idea. We make a specialty box for the rings,

which is a golf ball, perfect shape, and it, you know, clamped shut, seals up. And when we're looking for the rings, Hawks, who is a groomsman and a very, very good golfer, reliable set of hands under pressure, he's, you know, five metres away off the altar or whatever, and he chips the ball, and it's ideally,

Andy, you catch it, but me and Cam, you know, your brother will also be there as sort of slipsfielders. One of us should get it, hand it to Ando, and that's just a bit of fun, a bit of a fun way to deliver the rings to the altar. This is the one I was hoping we could get across the line. And not only for you to have a ginormous victory coming back from two points down, but just think I would be great on the day. Setting the scene, I'm so hungover.

That's why my voice is a bit lower. I've just got back from a golf trip and that's why I thought I I'd kind of pitch to Beck that I had this great idea while on the golf trip I read it when we're playing golf we think it would be fun to kind of include a bit of golf at the wedding somehow

just a little nod to it What do you mean? Like would it be fun if like for the rings to come out or something like Hawks could chip chip up the ball? No. No?

Don't you? Just add a bit of... Are you serious? Yeah, just add a bit of... You don't like that. That is so lame. Cheesy. Oh?

Hawks, chips, what? I know, like, like, little contraption that has the rings. In our ceremony? Yeah. It'll take 30 seconds. Nah.

You be here. Yeah, I just don't have. be fun, funny. Do you want to add a bit of spice to it or not? Um, not really. Not, but not, I am shook. That is so cheesy. Okay, okay, okay, okay. And what, everyone's like, to hoard, shipping. No one cares, what?

I think the guys would love it. Some do. No break. Jack, a two new thing. Okay. Well, I mean, the thing is, you didn't explain the custom-made box. You didn't understand. That was the problem. You just said he just chips up a golf bar. I think that confused her.

I think if you said we get a custom-made, very good quality. Should we organise to do it and film it so she can see it? Yes. Do we get the box made? But do you know what I mean, Jack? In all fairness, he didn't really explain that the rings are in a car. You can tell as soon as you started speaking and you know that you hung over and just come back from a golf trip and you led with the boys and I thought it would be funny. Yeah.

You knew that it was... Beck's not doing a wedding for maximum lull from the boys, okay? This thing's probably going on in vogue. Okay, so it's not like if this was for FHM, sure. That's why you had to sell it in as a classy idea. You just kept saying, oh, this will spice it up, don't you want a bit of spice? I think, no, I want a lemon and herb wedding. No spice.

If you film it and make it as classy as possible, I would love to see that. We'll organise it. We'll organise it so we can. It'd be fun to see if we could actually even pull it off. Yeah. Yeah. I know we can, and I know it could be done really respectfully. We could all bow and everything.

Classy. Okay. We've just, Hamish is just to jump back in here. here. Hamish has continued the argument that I didn't pitch his ideas well enough to Beck for the wedding. And you feel, by your own admission for that last one, you said you were hung over. And so it came in going, hey, the fellow saw this it be funny. You didn't even mention the custom-made box, which I think is the biggest sell there for Beck. So I said, well, you put your money with your mouth there. And Ham said, I could. I reckon I could convince Beck of this.

So we're going to call her now. I think this will serve two purposes here. I feel like it might be a way off your shoulders, I need to be able to reveal to Beck that some of these ideas haven't in fact been the man of her dreams deciding that this wedding is more of like a carnival than an act of love.

Yes. And then, but also, I think once the dust settles on that, I do think I could get the golf ball ring holder sold in. Okay, I hear the number, Jack. Hello. Hey, sweets.

It's, uh, you're on the pod. Amish is here as well, and Jack. Hey, Beck. Hi. I've got a mouth full of food. That's okay. That's okay. That is okay.

We've been doing something on the pod and we probably needed to explain something to you. Have you felt that I've been very engaged in ideas for the wedding over the last week or so? Yes. Some terrible ideas. Yeah. Yeah, well, they weren't my ideas, so I'm not offended by that. Hamish and Jack were given, gave me a list of ideas to run by you. and it was a competition.

If any of them made it through, they would win a point. All right. So asking Jack to be a flower girl was... Boy. A flower boy, sorry. That was a, I believe... That was a two-pointer. That was a two-pointer.

That was a two-pointer that I didn't get. Like, if you'd have said yes, that would have been two points. If you'd have said maybe I would have won one point for that. So I didn't... That's a two-pointer that I wasn't able to get. You did say, though, during that conversation, we'll find some role for him. Do you expect me to circle back about that or you to circle back about what the

role might be for Jack? No, we'll find a role for Jack. What kind of thing? Lobster roll? You can sit out of the back and have whatever you want. Look, Beck, I detected, and again, correct me if I'm wrong here, but you weren't loving, not so much the content of the ideas, but more the thought that your beloved husband to be was not viewing the tone of the wedding the way that

perhaps you are viewing the tone of the wedding? Yeah, I think I said this isn't a content piece for the podcast. And Alas, here we are. Yeah. Yeah, it'll last. Yeah, yes. Yes, alas, here we are. But the good news is, a lot of those were expertly sidestepped by you.

The board game idea... But did he record me responding to... Beck, I'm sure you're joking. I'm sure you're joking about asking that question because I'm sure had he done that, he would have got permission to play the recordings as is required under law. So,

sidebar that. Yes, I did, Beck. How does I feel about that? Have you already played it? A little bit. Little bit. Look, you came across great, Beck, to be honest. I think, you know, not that I don't know if I did.

Yeah, absolutely, he did. You came across as a woman that did not envisage this for her wedding, didn't want board games or T-shirt cannons at her wedding. And it was noted that I was like, what are you even talking about? I think to be fair with the T-shirt canton idea, that does have merit because I think by the time it gets to the bouquet toss, that's a real fun moment of the wedding, isn't it? And I think you just have a T-shirt can and have gun it high up in the air.

Memorable, for sure. Yeah, you tried to put that on the kids. Who else? What else did you? I've completely, the guess who? Yeah. With everyone? And I was just like, no, we have, like, too many people to fit on and guess who board.

But you didn't say no to that, though. You said maybe. She said no now. Which I think should strip you from. Yeah, that's because he asked you last night at 10.30 as I was ready for bed. I was like, I'm not having this conversation right now. Yeah, great. So that is a no.

So points are straight from Jack. I thought one of the funner ideas that Andy had, well, I mean, let me preface it by this. I really got the tone from you back, who you detected that you want this wedding to be a celebration of who you are as a couple and what you stand for. And that's really what a wedding is about

is standing in front of your friends and family and saying, please witness what we have created together as a couple. We love each other and we love not just the obvious parts of each other, but we love the differences and the character in each other. And that's really what it's about, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. And that's why I thought that it was kind of interesting when Andy had that idea about the

golf ball, which he probably didn't explain that well because he was a bit hungover. But I think what he was trying to say in that is golf has been a very special part of his life. And of course, nowhere near as special as you, you're the most special part of his life. But as he takes that step, the level. last moments of him being single into then being a married man. He, I think, wanted to have a small touch of the thing that's been there for him for so much of his single years, golf, and simply have a very, very high-end, custom-made, beautiful golf ball-shaped container, simply chipped from one of his best friends, Michael Hogan, also has been there for the whole journey of his life,

chipped respectfully, gracefully into his hands to the we then open up the box and we see the rings and that's a really beautiful moment. Not happening. Absolutely not. I forgot to have that one. That was the dumbest idea ever. No, because maybe the lines breaking up

because you're not hearing about how high end the box is. And respectfully. What if it's a Swarovski golf ball? It opens up. Okay, so it's nothing to do with the packaging. I didn't explain to the packaging well enough. He didn't even mention that it was a custom-made box just merely in the shape of a golf ball.

No. We'll film it, we'll send it to you just for a final. No, you don't need to. A majority of noise. Okay, bye, darling. Thank you very much. I'm retreating again. Yeah, I've folded it in me too.

I was like, yep, yep, yep. No, let's film it. I think we can get this one through. Gentlemen, came across something. I had a tiny bit of downtime. So I was over the government, mandated break, or just in every way. It actually was over the mandated break,

and I just remembered it again today. And I thought, you know what? What have we spent today fighting the government? 18 hours, 19 hours? How about a little bit of haem time? So I hopped on the couch, and I opened up the app, Oh, yes. I've seen it. I've seen it and heard of it. And I thought, I got two minutes to spend.

Even if I don't learn anything, why don't I just enjoy some scrolling. Actually, funnily enough, because I do delete Instagram from, sometimes I just go, that's it. I'm deleting it for a week because I tried putting it on the back page, but your brain just no way. You know you know it when it's find it. So I delete it quite often, and I'll spend like a week off and then be like, I'm going back on. Every time you go to download it in the app store, it has one point. million ratings. So it's rated five stars, or very, very, very close to five stars. It might be a few pixels off. 1.9 million ratings. Who is still rating it? We've got a vibe of it already.

And even if you loved it or hated it, whoever's going to the app store isn't like, I haven't heard of it. I'll see what the reviews are saying. Before I do this, I mean, I read the reviews. I've got something going, I thought this was wonderful. So many things around the world I didn't know about some funny videos. and then other people going, did not, no, didn't do it for me, unfortunately, you need to try a little bit better.

Anyway, on Instagram I come across this thing that's like from one of these, and it's like a kind of a science page, it was like scientists in the UK have, like, I guess mathematically or scientifically analyzed what is the most attractive dancing style for men to do for women to attract a woman. And I guess, you know, they had thousands of women and looking at it going, I like it when he does it.

I don't like him who does that. So they're sort of kind of like amalgamated them all, and there's this like 3D rendering of a figure doing the dancing. Right. So have you seen the dance? So you know the dance? I know the dance. No, no.

Okay. I'll be the control where I'm going to look at the dance. I'm going to try and do that dance. Now, I propose we go from here. Hang on, so what's the competition? Are we all trying to do the same dance or we're trying to do the most sexy dance? You two have to do what you think is the most attractive dance to the opposite sex. At the same time that you're doing what you're doing.

We don't get to see each other's dance. We'll be alone in the room. We go next door to the studio I've set up. 30 seconds of you doing what you think is the most attractive dance of the opposite sex. And guys, don't be embarrassed. This is nature. Bird of paradise. Many animals have a mating dance.

In fact, that is what it's all about. So how often has Bianca seen you dance? Oh, in the last, it would be, I reckon about 10 years. Yeah, 10 years since I've danced with Bianca. There you go. Zos never. You're finding that you're getting less active with her. It's like if you've not been as sex as you possibly could be around the house.

It's just back when I was dancing and that was even far between. It's not like Bianca is. ever said like, that's turning me on. No, no. I've never got the impression from Zoe that... Doe and I have never been intimate and me go, oh, I better was that dance I was doing earlier. Would it be fair to say, though,

that back when you were dancing, you were more active with Bianca? Yeah, probably actually, probably... It was time goes by. There's more chores to do around the house. There's things to do. It could be the dance, though. It could be the dance.

Well, Ando, you know, you're about to be married, but childless. So what should be peak active years? And are you dancing much in front of Beck? I haven't. I haven't, but obviously there will be our first dance at the wedding. And I think if I know all going well, I'll show you this dance before the wedding and we can teach you.

I mean, you should be able to seal the deal on your wedding night without the dance. If there's ever a night. But I don't want either of you doing the dance in front of Beck on my wedding night. because if I learn this dance too well. It would lure her away from me. Can you imagine the absolute, I mean, on multiple fronts, that would be a disaster. Yes, but I'd have to forgive you. It's the dance.

Or Zoe? Yeah. We'd talk about it. Remember an Andy's wedding? You accidentally seduced the bride. Because of your bad dance that was more powerful than the decision-making part of any woman's brain. Yes. And it would make the first show back awkward as well, having that in the air.

I'm always going to pledge not to do it. Can you pledge me not to do the death? Not at your wedding. I won't do any wedding. But we will do it today. Great. We will do it today. We go next door, 30 seconds dancing.

Here's the second part of it. Hang on, just with the 30 seconds dancing. That's all I need. I know, but like, do we get a little bit of, like, rhythm into it? Or it's like, so like, when does our... Do it as you want. All I'm saying is if we, if the music starts and we're immediately going to do the move, don't you reckon that's...

Yeah, that's hard. Sure. Okay, okay, go, relax. It's like... So when you, when you, I don't know if you've ever done like a medical, test you have to give a urine sample. You take it midstream. So we'll do a midstream dance example.

So you dance for 30 seconds. We'll take the middle 20 seconds. You've got five in five hours. That feels good. Yeah. Because anytime I'm, it's someone who doesn't have a dance lined up in the back of my hand and I don't think you do, Andy. You use part of the night to sort of feel some things out.

You've got five seconds. You got five seconds. Get into it. Okay, yeah. Our mate Vaughn, who lives in New York. I was sort of thinking, how can we get, we need some women to judge this, objectively. They can't know who we are. I thought, well, let's talk to Vaughn.

He's going to organise five of his female friends to view the videos, and they'll simply notice as numbers one, two and three. Yeah, okay, great. And we'll vote on that. They don't know that it's us. They don't know it's for a podcast. It's just simply an experiment. Now, yeah, go.

Well, are we covering our faces? That's the last bit. I have got paper bands. to put on our heads. Yeah. Because it's not an, it can't, you can't use. No. Yeah.

You can't use a wink or something. Jack, you won't need a bag. But Andy. I actually, I've worn shorts today and I don't think that's as good as well. Do you know what? I forgot we were doing this and I've got shorts on too. Would you both like to borrow my jeans for the debt? I don't know.

Are you going to? Well, in that case, to be a fully controlled environment, I'll borrow the jeans as well. So we're all in the same jeans. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm in shorts. And a Tokyo Disney resort shirt from 1983.

You're in nice jeans and a white t-shirt. Could we all wear your clothes? I think we should all wear my clothes. So, again, the ladies aren't distracted by that fashion. All in your bag on our head. I'll stand in the corner of my undies. But don't, I won't watch you guys. Just go outside.

Go outside studio. I'm not going to go and sit outside my undies. We're not taking your undies. You're just in your undies. I know, but it's just like going to the pool. Yeah, but. Andy, we bought 15 years on radio, we did pants off Friday. We sat now under pants.

Yeah, but it's very different. What's so magical about your nipples? No one cares. Okay. It's science. I'll go for a walk. Right. So that's what's going to have.

Midstream sample. Same song. Marci's just got something queued up for us. Yeah, what song? You can have, you can listen. I can't, I don't know. I think you can just listen to the dance. You can listen to the music if you want.

Can you give us the song now? Yeah, yeah. Oh, Jay. Oh, it's on here. Okay, great. Yeah, just to get us in the mood. Oh, wow. Okay.

Don't do that, mate. I haven't. That's not to be judged. That was low voltage. Well, you didn't even move, so you've got a problem, mate. If you're immune to that beat, at least the music is moving me. That's a great sign for me.

Exactly. Exactly. That was your first five. You were fine again. Can I just ask a good question? With the footage. That seemed like I didn't expect it to be that pumping. Yeah.

I mean, it's a classic dance song. If we're all wearing the same clothes and we have bags and our heads, how will we know who we are? Watchers. We've all got different watches. That's how we'll be able to identify ourselves. Because God, I would hate there to be a mix-up. Number two gets number one votes.

So Vaughn's in New York. We'll send it all to him and then next week we'll... Yep. We'll find out who the women picked. Number one, two, three. and I'd like to give you a feedback from them too. It's what they liked about moves. They didn't like about moves.

Yeah, great. Okay. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamish and Andy.com.