Hamish & Andy - 333 - Chipping for Approval

Episode Date: May 27, 2026

Andy and his groomsmen (and Jack) gather to film the sacred “Chipping of the Rings” wedding rehearsal - a full-scale simulation designed to win Bec’s approval for the wedding. Bec delivers her final verdict. Plus, an update on Hame’s Hives and another instalment of The Lady of Stain! 1. Horgs Chips the Wedding Ring & Bec’s Reaction 2. Lady of Stain 3. Hame’s Hives Verbal Agreement 

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. Ahoy to my ridiculous, humaneus, capitus. You did all three at once. No, that's just one. How dare you reference my humanus?

It's actually pronounced huge. No, ahoy to my. by ridiculous, humaneus, humaneus. That's Jack. Double humanus, great. Yeah. And I... Insane in the humannus.

I am the thyrus pubis. Well, I mean, we're all... I think we're all hanging around the huge anus. Are we in the pelvis? You say that we're like tendons or bones or something around the pelvis? I would say, having... Jack probably hasn't encountered this yet, but you having young kids would have encountered at some point...

Oh, vasectomy. No, we're the tubes. No, no. The kids have it. The kids have it. Don't give kids for a second. Don't give kids for a second. Particulous, humane.

Unless they've been very naughty. You're threatening, but you never followed it. You never followed through. Particulous, humannis. Heard. Cappardous. Yeah. And you're miming putting a cap on.

Yeah. So it's something on your head. Is it the soft, the fontenelle is the soft part of the skull? Is it something? It's, it's, it's. So then if you find out you've got it in the classroom. Oh, lies. We're different types of lice.

And I bet it's because Liza had head lice herself last week. She's not going to declare those. God damn it. She's borrowing from her real life. It's like slumdog millionaire. Yes. Oh, God. Yeah, we've had lice.

Many times. You are, Capitus being head lice, humanus, humanus. That's body lice. And I'm thyrus pubis, which are. Pubis lice. The other lice. Not adult, up late lice.

Yes. Pubis lice. Yes. They, with the three types, the three main types of lice that you can encounter. Could a head lice ever go

for a bold run and go down to the pubis? Do a bit of a Leroy Jenkins. Yeah. For a huge run. Where are you going? I'm going down the face. See Edmund Hillary.

You're mad. Yeah, a reverse. Hillary. A descent. A famous descent. I hear there's a promised land of tighter curlier hair than this. No, it's not what you do. You'll never be back.

I don't want to be back. I think they're different species. Yeah, so you never... It wouldn't know what to do down there. No. No, I don't think it would survive. Kind of like for a tiger said, I want to go to the bottom of the ocean.

Yeah. Yeah. You have to adapt. You can't do it in one generation. Yeah. Wild. Yeah. Good news, though, I mean, as a PSA, J, have you had last...

Yeah, it's got to... We haven't hit last? No. Usually longer hair. is tougher. Gordy must be trying to stop himself from getting last, just this morning. I left my clippers out and he shaved a bald spot in his head.

It's smart. 10 minutes before I left with the podcast. No, that's a cool look. Yeah. But it's not as bad as it used to be, because now there's, it used to be like a seven-day arduous thing, but now there are foams and stuff

that will knock it out in one. Yeah, yeah. You just, I think it's like a 15 minutes in your hair. Yeah. All we had when we were kids was the tight comb. Very little space. You still do the tight comb. I think you do still use the tight comb.

I have experienced this, not my hair, but hair close to me. Oh, you're pubis. No. In the fair. I don't want to do what you did, Jack, and just out-lice people. But, yes, you do the treatment, and then you comb it out, and you see them all in the tight coat. You see all the lice. Eggs.

Yeah. Was this a pubis combing? You had to know when you dad? Nah, capitalist. Pure capitalist. Pure capitalist. With love. Yeah, yeah.

He'd love to go to the chemist and go, need the lice comb and I'll need the... Yep, okay, here it is. I need the pubis one. It's the same cone. Oh, I forget what I just said. Shouldn't have said. Should have said.

I should have said. Kate, who went to Hamish nanny.com. She's in Ozzie living in Canada to upload what she's been up to. Ahoy, SP, birthday boy and number six, little boy weasel. Kate here from Vancouver, Canada. I'm also getting married this year, Andy. Congratulations. I wanted to let you guys know that there will be a nod to the podcast at our wedding.

A little bit of an accident. We're having welcomed drinks on the Friday night. And when we made our website, it was the same time as you guys created the world tallest hat. Congratulations. As a joke, my fiancé put. dress code, wear your tallest hat. And then we forgot about it.

And now a month out from our wedding, we're getting photos and questions. Is this hat tall enough? Is this what you mean by wear your tallest hat? Over 60% of our guests are Canadian. And they don't really know what's going on, but they're leaning in. So we're going to have a tall hat party in the podcast on it with no one really knowing what it means. I love that they've lent in. So we'll keep you guys updated with some photos.

Please. I love the podcast. Thanks for being my dose of home over the last eight years while I lived here. Keep up the good work. Kate, tremendous. And another good idea for a wedding that I'm sure Beck will poo-poo. I know.

She's so traditional. Which brings us to the matter at Hanham. We've got to jump into this. Because earlier today, we got together with all the groomsmen. It was yourself, hogs, Cam, my brother, to basically do a rehearsal of what we are hoping will be a feature. at the wedding. The very special moment of the passing of the rings,

the chipping of the rings, which is a really special moment for weddings that are brave enough to do this ceremony. You were hoping to get a little box made up so rings can go in, which is exactly the same as a ball. Horgs would be doing the chipping. A small golf ball. Yep.

Cam, my brother, the best man, would do the catching and then we'd present the rings. In this recreation, which will send to Beck, and then we'll get her live after you've heard what it went down. You played the celebrant just so you could kind of direct traffic and you'll pass that script onto. Yes. The idea being that you're celebrant for the day, can just look at this video or listen to this audio and go, great, word for word, please just do this.

There's an indoor basketball court here at the studio, which we didn't know about, but that's what we booked. It does need to be said, not owned by the studio, just in the same kind of trendy office building. Yes. It's kind of, I think, in this whole world of like, end-of-trip facilities. Yes. You know, why not get in 10 minutes early and shoot some hoax? I guess this is the idea of when they built the building. Which would have been heavily used in the first two months of opening.

It's surprising. It was free today. We were able to book it and we were able to use it as the simulation. I've never heard somebody talking about it. Have you? No. I don't think it has anything. Darcy goes down and plays.

Okay. Yeah. So, weirdly, that it's still being used. But anyway, we booked it out this morning. And this is how the rehearsal went. Okay. Oh, hello. Gentlemen, come in.

This is quite exciting. This is the first time we've all been together. Congratulations. Feeling good? Good much. Welcome to Andy's sacred chipping of the rings. Wedding rehearsal. Yeah.

Sorry, wedding rehearsal and simulation. As you'll see, this gives us a loose idea of what the setup's going to be. Horgs, you'll be chipping. Not many people at the wedding. Imagine more. And I also think on the day, it'll be a much nicer basketball court that you're getting married on.

But for the simulation, this works. Yeah. I didn't know this existed in the building, Ham. No, neither. You put together a couple of neat rows. I've noticed that you've positioned my mum on the left-hand side, Beck's dad at the front, and there's kind of, what, two rows of five people going back.

Yeah. It's pretty thin, aisle. Do we want to give Hogs more? I think if we show he can perform on this, he can do it anywhere. Yeah, and now why is there a cardboard cutout of Harry Stiles? That's me. It was just about what cutouts were available.

Okay, that's generous. That was good luck for me. Yeah, and then AFL star and now commentator and radio personality, Nick Rewald. Yeah. In a wig with the veil on, he, Beck. Again, just how many just cutouts available. But that's Beck. That's your beautiful wife.

God, look at her arms. Wedding shredding. Wow. It looks like it's what a, is it a 9-meter chip? Yeah. something like that. 12 metres? Nothing hogs can't handle.

No, no, he's actually a very good chipper. I think what we should do is start all the groomsmen here. So, Cammy, as best man, you're, I think, closest to Andy. Ando, you're up next to Beck. Cammy, you're there at Hawks. You're probably, you're on stage, and then I'll, as the celebrant, I'll guide you to the chipping position. Okay.

What order did you think you're going to be standing in over here? I guess I'd be in the middle where Harry is, or do you think on the end? I reckon that makes you up a hierarchy, of hogs or? It's just a nice place to see me. Am I holding the club at this point at all? I think in a dignified, what, can I just have a look?

Hold it like a palace guard would hold a rifle. That's nice. That's beautiful. Yeah, that's nice. So, Kemp's going to catch it. Yeah, Kami, you good to catch. And we're going over people? Well, I think during the ceremony, you will move here to the catching position.

Okay. Between Beck and I. Yes. Favit, get in front of Beck. Okay. Because we've got a couple of nightmare scenarios. One of the nightmare scenarios is a golf ball to her head, to Beck's head.

Yes. That's our real no-no. So, what club are you bought? Inport your own club. Yep. I've got the 58 degree. You did say a pitching wedge. I've got a pitching wedge in the script.

Right. You've gone back to 58 degree. I agree that you want a higher loft, but in the script it's a pitching wedge. Can you adapt the script? You'll see why not. I'll do my best. I don't think people are going to check.

It refers to the club as a pitching wedge in the script. It's a pitchy wedge. Do you know what? I'm just thinking, I reckon during the catching, maybe we move Beck back, even she takes a few safe steps back. Because I think, Cam, if you're standing in front of her to protect her, that also does induce hogs to aim, So it's like, do we protect her?

I think she'll be fine. Yeah, Hawks is confident. Hulgs is confident. What's Jack? He's in over there. He'll come in in in a moment. Okay. Jack, you'd be pleased to know as someone that didn't have a role,

you do have a role at the wedding now. Yes. If we get through and do this for real on the day, will I be the medic on the day? Yes. I thought I was pretending to be a medic today for some people do it real. This is your role at the wedding. But he wouldn't have first aid training.

I don't have first aid training. We'll get you some. It's months away. Jack, do you want a roll at the wedding or not? I mean, yeah, I guess there's plenty of time to learn CIPA. Well, you were complaining about not having a role. Yeah, no, you're right, actually. Plenty of time.

Okay. I think I'd prefer a proper medic. Mate, how's Jack, though? I don't have a role. Wanted a free suit just for turning up. Yeah, that's right. Jack, by the way, we'll all get some suits together. We're all getting suits.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, you did mention this one. know if you want this on air or not, but you did mention you have a double eye infection at the moment. Which is just, yeah, it looks like I'm looking through a jar, smudged in basaline. Right, okay. So I've got confidence of holes. You see okay?

The hog is going to put it right on my hands. Okay, but can you? Yeah, sort of, yeah. 30. I'm sure that won't come back into play. If I had medical training cam, I would treat your eyes right now, but I haven't got it yet. Yeah, but you've got to remember on the day, you'll have a whole thing of... Yes, I'll have lots of eye stuff.

Lots of ointness. Fush that out. Bring your head kit. Bring your head injuries kit. Anything neck up, favour. Yeah. This is great. This is beautiful.

Thanks guys for rocking up. I'm not sure if we explained to them what we're doing, but... I had no idea. Sorry, yeah. You got it now, or do you want a quick rundown? On the day, the rings will be in a perfectly, like, anatom. correctly correct golf ball. Do you know what?

It will weigh and feel exactly like a golf ball that will then unscrew and the rings are inside. This is the delivery of the rings to the altar in a very exciting and meaningful way. Yes. And Becca's at this stage. She's lukewarm on this. Well, she's lukewarm.

Luke warm. So we thought it was best to show her exactly how it would look to get her across the line. Yeah. This is basically like our Olympic host city bid. You didn't want to get Beck here for the... Asked her, she said no.

So what we're doing, filming this, very respectfully, and we'll cut it together like a wedding video so we can show her straight after. Her special day. Her special day, and we think that'll get across it. Like a little bit of a future echo of her special day. Okay.

Were you happy to pick it up from... This is it. This is the moment. So I'm about to change character now. I'm going to be the celebrant. Not Haim. Hames Harry Stiles. Yep.

Generous. We now come to the most sacred part of the ceremony, the exchanging of rings, rings around as they are a symbol of eternity both into the future and where we've come from. Andy, a large part of your life has been small ball golf. Andy often talks about how much he enjoys the space and quiet of the golf course as the ideal place he can think deeply about his love for Beck. True. That's why he goes out there.

Beck, in your professional life, you are often giving or receiving pitches. Yes. Therefore, groomsman Michael Horgan will now chip the rings to Best Man Cam using a pitching wedge in a beautiful gesture that combines the two things you love.

Lovely. Golf and pitches. Yes. I mean, option. Yes. May your love take you to new heights. may it loft you up higher to the angle of 58 degrees, almost the highest loft a golf ball can achieve.

Yes. That's the option. I think the pitch is a bit better. We resume. The chipping of the rings ceremony is a very sacred part of any wedding that conducts this ancient ritual. It beautifully symbolises the chain-like supporting effect that friends play in both.

Beck and Andy's lives. Whilst Cam will be catching the rings, Hamish and Poppy will assume a backup catching position to further symbolise additional support. Non-groomsman, but friend, Jack Post, will now take his place as medical runner, near the altar with a full medical kit ready to discreetly run out and administer very quick

and very quiet first aid to any head injuries in the extremely unlikely event of an errant shot. Jack's role as medical runner is also deeply symbolic of the fact that we should never take our head, health or full health for granted and to cherish every day. That's good. Michael will now move into position to perform the sacred ritual of the chipping of the rings.

Pause one second. Yeah. Just think we just have a quick chat. I think it's important if we pull it off not to celebrate. I don't know, I guess. I think it's... I think our instinct... No, no, I don't think we need to say it out.

way. Please refrain from celebrating when Cameron takes the catch as this is a sacred moment, not one for cheers and beers. I just think that she will think it's about us if we pull it off. When Cameron catches the ball, there will be an impulse to cheer. We will allow a small cheer but only because it symbolises how excited we are for love rather than a great chip and catch. Yeah. Great, okay, that's good. Michael, will you please take your place? Do you want to do a damn center? How many years have you guys

have been together? Mike, Hogs and I? No, no. We're together forever. Been him in great sense. Yeah. 12. 12. Michael, you'll now take 12 large paces from the altar, very large paces to symbolize

how long Andy and Beck's life. Start from there, though, Hawksie. Yeah. Oh, wow. 11, 12, perfect. Michael has finished pacing. Cameron will now move into the sacred catcher's position. Perfect.

Well, here we are, folks. Michael Horgan with a tough lie on a concrete basketball court. He's a big game player, though. Shouldn't affect him. In front of him, a skinny aisle with 10 cardboard cutouts symbolizing Andy and Beck's loved ones. And don't forget cardboard Nick Rewalt in a wig and veil standing in for Beck. Okay, I think he's ready to Chip.

Chip when ready. Let's watch this very beautiful, yet technically and skillfully impressive. Expression of Andy and Beck's love. Here he goes. Oh no, it's hit Beck in the shin. Oh gosh, it's bounced under cams hand. It's hit Beck in the shin. Oh, no.

Oh, sorry, that's my job. Do I stretcher her off? Jack has picked up there will be a brief intermission As Beck takes a moment to By rings hitting us in the shin

It symbolises that rings are a lot Yeah just roll away We're not going again I don't think so With love comes pain But we must have both together they are two size of the same coin.

Becker's learnt this the hard way, as Michael expertly showed that a marriage can be nothing without the necessary pain that we all must endure, but that is the cost of love. Michael will now, for real, chip the ring all the way to Cam

as Becker's rejoined us and told us she enjoyed the symbolism and would now like to see the real catch. So I just want to quickly pause for a second, Do you think there's any scenario where Beck gets hit in the shin? Yes. Well, we just saw it. I know.

Has medical attention and then it's willingly coming back and letting us do this again. What's Beck's dress like? You don't know, do you? No. Full length? Would have to be. Yeah, it's full length. Shing guards. You'd never notice. Yes. Yes. We'll ask it. Yeah.

Hey, if we're going to get this across the line, we need to bury what this happened. Okay. Michael, now, for real, chip the ring to Cameron for the first time. Michael Horgan with a 12-meter chip for love. Oh, that's high. Oh my God. Oh, oh, who's that? It's hit Beck's Dan in the face of the rebound.

Beck's dad has calmed down. Oh, no. Beck's father has always been special to her, and in a wonderful show of symbolism, what father amongst us wouldn't also throw themselves in the way of anything that would hurt our child, a beautiful gesture. from Beck's father on this special day.

As Andy becomes the main man in her life, he showed us the true pain of fatherhood of giving away your daughter, but at the same time, this true fighting spirit of the Harding bloodline, he's back and smiling. And now Michael, for real, we'll chip the ring to jam.

A sight we've never seen before. A true display of skill. Michael Horgan, with a chip. For love, quiet please. He's ready to go. Oh, beautiful. Oh, great, catch. Thank you.

Thank you for your small cheer. Michael, you may now rejoin the wedding party. Medical runner, Jack. Thank you for your service. Thank you. Well done, Hogan. Depending on the edit, we didn't need you. Cam has opened up the ball and passed me the rings,

so I now have them. Andy now has the rings. Beck, take a moment to wipe. your eyes, tears of joy, nothing to do with her shins, tears of joy at the majestic arc of the rings as they landed safely in Cam's hands as all, so many of Andy's hopes and dreams have landed in Cam's hands over the years and carefully cradled by his brother to now flawlessly become part of the ceremony. Good on, guys.

Good on, guys. A couple of hiccups, I'm not going to lie to you. Two people down, one was the bride, but. Yeah. Make him piss the bride. I'm not going to make out with Nick Rewal. She's limping. So what do we do?

Jorg's, how confident are you now that you've had free goes that you'll be fine on the day? Yeah, well, what am I going to be hitting on the day? This is rock hard. Yeah, yeah, it was a tight lie. We probably need... We did talk about getting a little bit of turf. Yeah.

The slow-mo bounce under your hands into Beck's shins is something I do want to have a great. quick look back at, but we shouldn't let Beck see. No. Because that was the nightmare scenario as we... Yeah, well, in the version we show Beck, we're just going to show the last one. Yeah, and then we'll see if she says yes.

All right, I'll look forward to doing it for real. It was quite confident. Yeah, the last little bit. That last one was really good. And it is very hard here. That's... Yeah, rock hard. That's a tough lie.

But that's lie. symbolising the tough lie we sometimes must play off in life. Yes. God, this thing writes itself. Okay. So there you go. We agreed that we would take out any of the teething issues. A mishaps, yep.

Yep. And we have put together a beautifully cut video by Cambo. We made a decision, obviously, to go, obviously, you know, if we show the version where Beck's getting knee-capped and her dad's getting one in between the eyes. Like, that's going to be hard to get across the line. That's not going to happen. No, we've worked it out.

There's just no need for her to see that. So we made the call to go, let's send Beck now, which I believe she's got a couple of minutes ago. Yep. A best case scenario edit. Yep. And we cut it like a wedding video. So it does look beautiful.

There's some beautiful slow-mo overlay with the celibates, which is celebrant's words echoing over the top. Not the celibate. We don't know, actually. You might have a celibate. We don't know. I go this moment when Zoh goes, you know, what are you doing today? And I was like, oh, we're actually going to do the chipping ceremony rehearsal.

Zoh goes, oh my God, he's not going to want this. And I was like, you don't even know. How dare you? You haven't, it hasn't even happened yet. You haven't seen the video. Please don't write it off before you see the video. And I think, let's just hope that Beck's open-minded when she sees this and feels the power and the very respectful power of that ceremony.

Well, I've just got the double blue tick that she's seen it on the WhatsApp. We've sent her. She joins us now. Hey, Becker. I am so confused. By what? And Gusto to you. Hello.

Hello. Hello. Hi, Beck. Good to have you on. Have you watched the video? I have. And I guess I'm confused because Jack's not in it. Yeah, no, well, he's not, he's not, he wasn't required.

Yeah, he's, he was the medical runner in case something went wrong and he could run out and administer a very quick, discreet first aid. Yes. But what else was confusing? But I love that you cared that I was not part of the ceremony, Beck? That makes me feel good about myself. Well, I thought that that was what you were wanting, you were wanting Jack to be the flower, uh, ring bearer.

Oh, yeah. No, that was one of the other ideas where Jack was going to be the flower boy, but we thought that was silly. And now this was the ceremony of hogs. So remember, the rings are in the golf ball and hogs chips them to cam. Yeah. Yes. So don't worry about Jack.

What did you think of the chipping of the rings ceremony? Why don't we start with the pros? I did notice that you put in Harry Styles, which you may have thought might have got it across the line. He won't be there on the day. That was just standing because I was playing the celebrant in this version, but on the day, Harry Siles won't be there and I'll be where he was standing. I mean, yeah, all right, okay.

Yeah, I don't think there were, there were no pros. Okay. But were there no cons? So like, there were plenty of cons. Okay. No, that's not true. Why? Why? Why?

Why? It's not like, Hawks is not chipping our wedding ring down the aisle. Do you want me to chip them? No, no. Okay. No one is chipping. Now I'm confused. How the hell the ring's going to get chipped if hordes or hain doesn't do it.

And he can't chip him. He's got to be up there with you. I wouldn't trust him. And we don't even know if this celebrant can chip. It's just not happening. Like, yeah, it's not happening. Also, like, where did you shoot that? You said that the basketball court for some reason.

You really didn't make a very good case. You're looking at the wrong stuff. You're looking at Harry Stiles in the basketball court. Of course, those things are not going to be there in the day. Beck, I suppose what you're saying, even though this doesn't make a lot of sense to my years, are you saying you didn't like the feel of it? Like, Andy keeps on telling me they need to stop using this word, but hated the feel of it. Hated the field.

Okay. How much was it the basketball court that was contributing to the hate? Because remember, we're not going to be on a basketball court. It was the chipping of the rings. Damn it. That was my number one. That was my number one. Also, really offended that you guys put a wig and avail on a Sinkilda footballer.

Who was that? Nick Reward. Again, you just. Can you look at the thing He's not going to be there? You are going to be there. And you're going to look way better than him. Not if you're chipping,

not if you're chipping rings down the aisle. Oh, okay. An ultimatum, Andy. So you're saying we can keep the chipping of the rings but not with the current bride. Beck, I would prefer to have you as a bride. Oh, what a... No, take Nick Rewalt.

No. You can take Nick Rewalt. I'm hearing you loud and clear. Yeah, we put a lot of effort into that. I can tell. That's right. So what is going to happen? Just Cam has them in a pocket.

How does Cam get them? I don't know. What normally happens in weddings? Chippin. Okay, what about this, Beck? Just for our own amusement. Before the ceremony, because we'll probably be in a hotel or something somewhere. And we chip them in the hotel room to each other.

and then can't put some in his pocket. Go for it. And can they still come out of the ball-shaped box on the night? No. No. They'll come out of a regular ring box. Okay. Private shipping, I don't want to see any of it,

and I don't want any guests seeing any of it. Okay, that was the other question I had. All right. I know how your brain works. That's right. Thanks, darling. Thanks. Appreciate it.

Oh, by the way, back. Get Andy to show you the full version. Yeah. Now that you've made your call, There was one version where hogs chipped the ball into your knees. Yeah. And then the next one bounced off the backboard and hit your dad in the head. You know what that might have got it across the line, guy.

No, don't lie now. Then anyway, we'll put that up on our socials. But thanks, darling. Okay, so no chip. We're down a chip. Yeah, we're up a bride. What a shame. What a shame.

Hey, on the way back from hockey, Monday nights, 10 o'clock. I heard the lady is staying back. Yes, yes, yes. She's back on. She was giving out. I never know if this is, I'm always so conflicted because, you know, we are just taking another radio show and then like going, but you, as you pointed out last time, we're not just doing that.

We're making a game out of it. So some effort has been displayed. We haven't just printed something off the internet and put it on and handed it in as our project. No. We've cut it up. We've done headings. Yes.

We've put it on a poster. We've drawn our own. pictures. We've done thought bubbles and like breakout boxes. We have done some work here. But I feel a guilty pleasure because I love this game. This is a game where I love this game. A lady on the radio normally helps people with remedies to remove stains. I chop it up and I'll give you the remedy. You guys have to guess the stain and the item. I'm bad at this game too. Like that's the other thing. I've got to kind of lock in this week because I've been panced, I think, every time we've done. I don't think I've got.

one right. To prove that I am putting a touch more work in, I've made an opener. Not really sure what this dirty blob is, but I need it removed. What is the stay? First one today, let's just jump straight into it. You guys will hear the remedy from Shannon the lady's day. Really simple. Stick it in the bath and you fill the bath with blood heat water. So test the water on your wrist like you do a baby's bottle. So you run the water across your wrist. If you can't tell what temperature is, it's the right temperature. 36.

And then you add a small amount really cheap shampoo. One of the non-branded varieties, because it doesn't contain so many fruit oils. And then you go for a stomp on it in the bath, stomp up and down on it. And then all you need to do is rinse it in exactly the same temperature water. I'd never heard blood heat before. I thought you were saying wash it in blood. I know, same. I was like, oh my God, we've gone straight to the top shelf here.

Okay, the stain I have is from a werewolf. Okay, well, you must wash it in blood. So don't declare anything yet, guys. We're looking for the item. Essentially 36, 37 degree water, baby shampoo, stomp on. And then an item big enough that it needs the bath and not the sink. That's right. Here is the second part of it.

One question. How long do you stomp on it for like? Well, you can tell because all the muck keeps coming out of it. Oh, I see. You can see it. It's quite visible and really satisfying. Satisfying muck removal. Like a dog bed?

Kay Jack's going with dog bed. Got a feeling when she's saying it's satisfying. That makes me think of when I clean the vacuum cleaner filter. You see all the stuff come out and I get quite satisfied. satisfied seeing that. But you wouldn't stomp on that. I'm just saying maybe it's some kind of filter, something that you need to,

it's like hidden inside it. I don't know if, is it a, Duna feels crazy, but I got nothing else. I'll go for Duna. Go for Duna. Let's have a listen. I've got a queen-sized,

um, well, underlay on the bed. Your beauty. And I won't watch it while the weather looks like to be good the next few days. Well done, Hame. Thank you.

Well, though. If I was you, Jack, you could be protesting going, you guessed dog bed, and he's watching a human bed. And he hasn't even really said. I think Duna. But I would over all that by going, Amish was closer with Duna, and we're going to give it to Hame.

Closer to a wool and underlay. Dog bed, when, Jack, when you registered dog bed, then I was like, this is going to be a tough bed. Then Hame was talking about crunching filters under these feet, but I was, I'm going to. you took a U-turn. All right, next one. Here's the clue.

What you need to do is wipe the interior down with black tea. So you make a cup of tea and you just sponge down the inside of it and then put an open packet of a whole packet of tea and shut the door. And do not open the door for a week. Right. I think it's if you've got a troll living in your back yard and you find a trolls cave. Hey, you have to serve first this target. I'm going to give it away here, maybe.

I'm just going to go oven. I'm having. Yep. Pantry. I'm guessing that's a no. No, no. That's the laugh, Andy does, but he's so happy for you getting it correct. It was, Jack, as if it was deal and no deal with a hundred grand of the line.

We take this game really seriously. He just really sucked it in. Pantry. Okay, survey says. Do either of you want to know, that's the item, do either of you want to have a guess of what they're trying to get rid of? I mean, what would tea grade? It's just a bad smell, I reckon.

I think it's going to be something to smell, because leaving the open tea and they would absorb, you know, be an absorb of something. So maybe it's a smelly microwave or a smelly oven. Okay, let's have a listen. I've got two cupboards, Shannon. One is a very old antique cupboard. that's very musty.

I'm going to have to give that to Jack, a pantry. It's all the type of cupboard and oven. But not really. An oven is also a type of cupboard. A hot cupboard. A very high-tech cupboard. Jack's is more of a food cupboard. That going goes to Jack.

But you guys, close battle today. The tiebreaker is something I heard and I nearly had to pull over because I didn't know that she did this as well. But she does pest control. Okay. But with everyday items in your house. So you guys both have to guess...

Guess the pest. What the pest might be. Right. Okay. Jackie'll be serving. It comes in two parts. Here's the first part. Oil of clothes doesn't work.

You need to use lavender oil. Oh. They're not interchangeable. Oils contain different volatiles. With lavender oil, it acts as a barrier. Spraying it at them doesn't kill them. What it does is stop them crossing it. That's the first part, guys.

My other part, what I love is just listening to how much Dennis Walter. He's in deeper than I. The only man into this morning, Jack and I can you see it, is her co-host. Yes. So this is the second part of that. If you want to kill B-Bu-Salt is better. The salt sticks to the underside of the carapace, and they dehydrate and die without dropping their egg casing.

Oh. Oh. Took the words right out of my mouth, Dennis. Oh. Jack. I'll go for snails. Snails. You're an idiot.

No, good guess. Well, they hate salt is what I was thinking. Yeah. Cockroaches. Okay. It was sent in by email, so Dennis had to read it out. Mary is in Clayton and has a problem, Shannon. How to get rid of cockroaches.

I sprayed them with oil of cloves, but they are still crawling. everywhere. What more can I do? How vile to have, you know, multiple cockroaches? Slam dunk. Yeah. Bad luck. Now, sorry, Jack, at first time I thought it was spires, but he did say egg, like, they're not going to drop the egg from the bottom of their carapace. I mean, kind of gave away a bit there. Well, do not, don't they do eggs? How does a snail birth a snail? Great question, to be honest, but I can't imagine they lay and sit on eggs. Their life slow enough. They'd never get anything done. That was a bit of an unfair advantage.

you because you had that cockroach problem, so you were lucky there. But I didn't use life experience. I didn't use natural remedies. Because your dad kicked the ball with you more and you're younger. That's not life experience. Yeah. And, I mean, you've got, you've had a pantry just as long as I have and you did well there. But I certainly wasn't throwing lavender oil at them.

I went full biological. Yeah, well, and as fierce as I could. If lavender oil is a barrier and the salt will get. their job done. No, no, no. So will Morton, I found. Gentlemen, you know, if I seem distracted, because I'm toiling away on something in the background,

but I thought I'll keep you abreast, even though you have no financial interest or actual interest. No. From Andy in Hames Hives, my disruptive beekeeping operation. Yes. Shaking up the honey industry, whilst also still paying respect to the traditionalists

and all the work that apiurists have done, to get us to this point in the honey game. It's funny, though, because Jack, when you said, you know, you want to invest because you're worried a bit, you get, I would just hate the storyline where people are like investing in IBM in the 70s or whatever and people like, oh, you could have invested in free. But there's heaps of options. I know, I know, but I just, wouldn't we feel so silly that we are right here?

And so people would have gone like, you would have been, I won't die. I'd be fine. And that's kind of naysaying that bronze me to make is the best to be. B operation at the world's ever seen. In London, bumped into a guy called Andy, right, who is very high up at Warner Brothers International. He turned...

He turned... I don't know if Water Brothers. I would have a big honey name. It was a fleeting, passing by because he was deep in a conversation and I was in the same restaurant. And I saw him when I wave. And he stopped what seemed to be

a very important entertainment-based international-level conversation and said to the person he was turning to, sorry, one second. Should I be investing in Hames Hives? That's what he yelled across the restaurant. And I went, no. You're banned. You're banned from talking about Hames Hives.

Anyway, what I'm saying is the feedback internationally. I've never received, I mean, the avenues that stuff's coming in, just now, true story. Put this jumper on, a business card fell out of my pocket. because I'm like, oh, that's right. Last night on the plane, a bloke walks past and just slips me a business card, and he's the CEO of like a B logistics company that uses, like, oh, we're cutting edge, have a look, Google us.

I did actually look it up. It seems good user technology. Okay. But what have you done? Swarm management and swam management. Well, using AI. Yeah, Jack, using AI, that's, how many times I have to tell you, I'm disrupting the B game? Well, we heard from people that were offering to help last time.

And you said you're going to reach out to them during the week. Have you done that? I haven't caught up with all of them. Have you caught up with any of them? I found it hard to catch up with all of them. Can I just say this? Before we get to this. I feel sorry for it because you said to him on the phone.

I have caught up with some. Some we're not answering and then some is an email. Some is an email. And if I didn't talk, if I haven't caught up with you yet, don't worry. You're on my radar. Thing is, I've got movement. in other areas that are going on. I said from the outset, we want to run a bespoke single origin,

high altitude, alpine, New Zealand honey operation. We've got manuka in Australia. There's a great manuka scene in Australia. Great honey scene in Australia. Yeah. Nothing against our bees. If you hit, if you land on manuka and you can't force the bees where to go, no, you can't, you know.

Yeah, because the manuka is the plant, isn't it? The plant, flower. And you need the bees to. only eat or take in that particular flour. You need them to get a taste for the nectar. And then they make a honey that's just so strictly. If they're dark enough and having a rose, that can ruin your whole manuka. Well, it doesn't ruin it, but the only way you get it certified as manuka honey is

once you're on flow and the honey's flowing, then you get someone to test it. It's a very rigorous industry. Have to test it. You get given something called an ultimate manuka factor or whatever. The higher it is, better your bees have done. What's the highest you've seen? 500. I don't even know the measurements.

We're not in there yet. 500. Wow. It's out of six. Wow. First of all I just want to say thank you to everyone in the honey game that has reached out because they're a friendly bunch. It literally is a hive.

It's a real hive and there's enough honey for everyone. There's enough. We need more bees. Bees do all the pollen. Bs are great for the food supply. Everyone's up for it. Everyone's like, great, how can we help you get maximum bees? I have made a commercial commitment to a company to supply Hames Hives.

This is the exciting announcement to supply Hames Hives with 200 hives. Hang on. So I bought 200 hives. Oh, right. From who? In New Zealand. There's a company over there that we're working with, but that's the commitment I've made to them.

a financial commitment, a verbal financial commitment. So have you paid it for them yet? We're working on costings. But I've agreed we have a deal to get 200 hives. And where are you going to put them? Don't worry about that. Everywhere. And then I've got a separate agreement with a beekeeping.

I'll find my head beekeeper. Then the beekeeping and bee management side of things comes in. We're going to have them in about 20 different locations through the South Island of New Zealand. And I pledge for one of the hives, we will have the highest altitude hive ever. Well, not many bees will go that hive. Yes, I know. And so that will be in experimental hives.

The honey that comes from that hive will be none. By evolutionary science will have to be from the strongest bees only. And that honey will be the world's strongest honey. The world's strongest bees. Well, strongest. See, I am a sucker for that stuff. And you know what? I'm going to put it in.

That is going to be an offshoot. We're going to have three main honies, like different flowers. Then there'll be a premium manuka brand. But I'm thinking of doing an offshoot, like an energy honey shot. And it comes from those bees, strong bees. I'm strongest bees.

What do you mean an energy shot? Like a can of be or red boasts? Well, think about like a little sachet of honey that you have before a workout or a bike ride or something. Are you interested in investing now, Jack? I am interested in investing. Because that strong bee shot will be, that's going to make some wave. The world's highest hive, the world's strongest bees

producing the world's most powerful. Yeah, I like that. Here's another thing, Jack. I've been actually on the phone a fair bit this week to fashion designers because I'm not going to say what, but we're not. The traditional white beekeeping outfit ripe for disruption. What? You're going to do a different...

You know how SpaceX has way better spacesuits to the NASA. All right. You just want a different, but people don't see that part of it. Like, who cares what you're in? As long as the bees are well-behaved.

We all know. Actually, it's funny. We don't want well-behaved bees, we want them to do whatever they want. We want renegade bees, especially these high-altitude ones. You'd prefer them to be making honey for you, though. Well, we want them to come back to the hive, yeah.

But I think you've got to let them do their thing. You can't enforce your rules on them. Wow, okay. So a verbal pledge for 200 hives and another made-up thing that you're going to put a hive high in a mouth. It's not a made-up thing. We will have the world's harsh hive.

What's the highest hive in existence at the moment? 700 metres. Hang on. It's one more thing. Start reaching from the bell. I brought you twice. Andy, there's no interest in the bee operation. And I'll be honest.

I'm no interest in the lies behind. Whilst this began almost despite Andy, a honey business, despite him, things are picking up steam. We're bloody excited at Hames Hives. I've hired. I've enlisted my New Zealand friend, AJ, his head of operations. Why did you say higher than stop?

I haven't given him any money. I haven't given him any money, but he has a slice of the company. He's a slice of the equity because he believes in the bees. So he's got sweat equity, is he? Is he going to do work for you in exchange? How much what percentage have you given away to him? That's classified. But here's the other thing.

You guys know I'm filming a TV show at the moment. A new TV show that's quite time-consuming. Couldn't be a worse time, to be honest, you start up a hunting operation just in terms of available time for Hame. That's why I got AJ Mbler just to go, mate, look, do you believe in this? He's like, yeah, 100%. This is the world's crying out for this,

and Hames Hives will be a go. So we have staff. We have verbal hive commitments. 200 hives incoming. Just found out today that Jimmy Barnes is in the B game. Did you know this? Really? Barnes Bs.

Wow. Are you excited about that or you feel threatened by that? I'm not threatened and I congratulate. Jimmy on. Okay. I read somewhere this might be true, might be not. There's only produced 40 kilos of honey. That's not a lot.

Right. How much are you going for? 500. And we may get more. Good luck. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamish and Andy.com.