Hamish & Andy - 338 - Andy’s WhatsApp Mishap

Episode Date: July 1, 2026

Jack makes another huge statement in relation to the Hamish & Andy board game, whilst Andy falls victim to a terribly unfortunate (but relatable) WhatsApp mishap. Hame is a man of his word and performs a Gusto Check on a cafe he visited recently, which scores a record high! Plus, favourite human actor from the movie War Horse, Jeremy Irvine, delivers another hectic voice-note from the London dating scene!  1. Jack’s Board Game Update 2. WhatsApp Mishap 3. Gusto Check - Pedlar Project Cafe 4. Another Jeremy Irvine Voice Memo 5. A Dime A Dozen 

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. Aho to me Niru. Hamish. Better than being a faroo.

Keep your roos close. Ahoy to me Miku. Jack. Okay. Are we mascots? Oh, not quite. and I am Tito. Of course you are.

No idea? Can't say anything's jumping out of me. No. We are the three main vocaloids, which is this new rage of AI voices that sing. Sorry. I don't know the vocaloids. Well, I don't know.

90% of the sentence? This is what's written. Are they a band? Be careful what you say about them, the fan base are very aggressive. Gotcha. Not having a go. Like a Huntrix?

So they are made up like... Essentially, we're entering a world now where AI can create songs. And it's not like... These are the first superstars and they're a vocaloid trio. And these AI vocalists are called Vocaloids. So it's... So they're made up. No one's voice.

It's a synthesized voice. It's a synthesized voice. Okay. So it's not like Huntrix. I apologize to all the Huntricks fans out there. Of course, are huge stars, but their images are created. Yeah. No, this is an originally created by Yamaha.

Really? No, I do like them actually. Those vocaloids? You got a free guitar 10 years ago. You cannot reply. I still got a soft spot for it. You can't get a free vocaloid, mate. So, wait, and they're a band.

They come together as a trio of singers, but they also can perform individually. They can be back and they can do 100 gigs on the same night. That's the bonus. Exactly. Exactly. Who owns it? Like, says Yamaha own it? How do you... I mean, what do you copy right there?

Do you just copyright the EQ settings of going... It has 28 base, 71 treble. I guess that sound of that person, that vocaloid's voice becomes its own thing. And it will be like other people's derivative because it's AI, but hopefully uniquely its own thing. I think I'm right with base 21 treble. No, because our EQ's not like a... Someone makes your voice your voice.

It's not a recipe. I don't think so. Ahoi also to Trebs and Julia. Went to Hamishnandy.com to tell us what they've been up to. Ahoy! Hamish, Andy and Jack. This is Treves and Julia, bringing in from beautiful Oakland, California, where the sunshine is as strong as Augusto.

And it also happens to be the home of the socceroos for the next month and a half. So by the time we get this uploaded, they'll probably have won the World Cup. Now, being common people ourselves, we couldn't help. but notice that the Sokaroos are actually staying in one of the nicest hotels in town. It's actually branded as a resort. And it costs up to 1,200 US dollars a night. Or to put that into conversion terms that you might understand, that's 1,700 boughs from the Weasel King himself.

Clearly the tax dollars of the Australian people are hard at work. Must be very nice indeed. Perhaps that's something else you could bring up to all Jim Chalmers the next time you get to see him. Keep up the good work, boys. Love the show. No one is clamoring for the Socorroos to stay in worse accommodation. I think that is the one area. Australia's like, let them rest. I don't think the government pays them to go over.

I reckon Nike could have something to do with footing the bill. But I also don't think the government own the Sokaroos, do they? Yeah. I don't think so. Football Australia? Yeah, footie Australia. I think even if we're paying as taxpayers, let them rest. We're not.

Which we're not. I've got no problem with it. But, yeah, again, I reckon most of us would like, If we'd heard that they were staying in poor accommodation. Well, if they ran out onto the ground and they had, like, they were rubbing their days. Yeah, sorry, we're all couch surfing because we don't upset anyone. We'll move on. We'll move on.

Hey, it seems, would you actually, would we all agree? It seems more and more in this era, in this time, people can just make promises. Yeah. And with no intention of keeping them. It just seems. Yeah. I think it unfolded through promise. has become a much more common trait.

Yeah. And to me, I just, I reflected on that this week and going, are we living in a time where you can just do that willy-nilly? I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Ms. Lewinsky. There will be no carbon tax under the government I leave. Promises, promises, I'm up with promises, promises now. Read my lips. No new.

Access. No way that GST will ever be part of our policy. Never ever. Never, ever, it's dead. I want to say this to the television audience. I'm not a crook. Promises, promises. Jack, yeah?

How's the board game going? This is your opportunity to say I'm not doing it. Oh, I was about to say I'll do it over summer. I know. I can see these facts. I appreciate that. There will be a prototype to play. They will.

Jacko, how we're going with the board? I thought I bought myself another few months. I thought it was end of financial year. Well, it's been months since we last talked about it. So you have bought yourself another few months. How many months were you hoping for? Look, the problem with it is it's just so hard, so much harder than what I thought it would be.

Yeah. And every time I go, it's like sit down to do it, I'm like, oh, then you've got to like have all the characters print all the cards, make little plastic moving piece. I don't know, I just never thought of neither. But with round planks? It just seems so overwhelming that every time I sit down to do it, it's like, what's the point of doing step one

when there's a hundred steps to go? The spirit. Sadmitting Illinois thought that as he went to the time of... It is, yeah, one of that floating around the inspirational pages on Instagram. What's the point, man? Step one. Yeah, the greatest marathon begins with a single step. Well, if you know it's going to be a marathon, don't take that step.

Put your feet up. Jack, last time we talked, the board game program, and yes, Andy put that package together purely just to get us into this. Thank you. No, there was good. Slightly trapped. But last time we talked, you were like, I've come up with an idea. It's going to be about, like, lost touch, in touch.

Common man landia. Common man landia. It just didn't, it probably didn't catch fire like a quarter. I'm great. I'm so glad to say that because, you know what, I didn't like the creative. I didn't like the direction it took, and I didn't want to just shit on the idea. No, thank you for not doing it in the moment, because I was at the time really excited about it.

Oh, true. And ideas need time to grow. And when they're, like, you know, fledgling little saplings, you can't stand on them. Or Peter out. To grow or Peter out. But when I saw that sapling growing, I didn't have high hopes for it to become a mighty oak. I was like, I don't think there's enough in it. So, you know, even though you're still in development stage,

could I just, now that a bit of time is passed and you haven't done any more work on it, and maybe you're coming to the same conclusion that it's just not the rich vein that you hoped for. So, like, if people were crazy for it, like, yes, yes, yes, we must play. No one was. I mean, I saved a couple of screenshots that, yes, people were excited, but it just wasn't enough. I didn't see a single email. You just didn't hit reach the tipping point that I was hoping for.

I would say even calling it a smoldering level of interest would be optimistic. It certainly didn't catch fun. No, it didn't. Now, great to hear, because, yeah, didn't love the direction of the board game. So scrap it, we just start again. Okay. So you're saying that the task is still?

No, the task remains. I mean, you love board games. People have asked for a hamish and a podcast board game. What is wrong with, like, what if it was just, now we obviously can't call it monopoly because it can't. You can't. We can't just like re-bring. But, man, they've got every monopoly.

under the sun. Exactly. I just have a game called Solar Quest, which was going and buying the different moons from all the planets. I mean, that was just space monopoly. This is what I'm left with.

It sounds interesting. What was Mayfair? Mayfair. Ganymed. It was one of Jupiter's moves. Yeah, Ganymed. Ganymed. One of the big moons.

Yeah, yeah. What was, where was Earth's moon? What strip? Was it a utility? Yeah, it was more of a utility. Could you buy a planet? Yes.

Once you owned all them. It's a basic system and we're interested in the game. Once you owned all the moons, I think you got the planet. This is the problem I have. I have high ambition. Because people have been messaging me like, why don't you do a monopoly or why don't you do, I don't know, trouble or something, but make it.

Because, I mean, it could be like you pick up community chest. You know, you wheezel to free golf cart. You've managed to sell it for $800. Blah, blah, blah. Yeah. Blah, blah. It's better than nothing. I mean.

I can picture. like making a fully new game and people love it so much and it actually transcends just fans of the podcast and it becomes staple in everybody's home. Oh wow. That's awesome. Yeah. Okay, so what is it? So you pictured it, but is that bit, is it just the resolutions? That's what I want. Are they all in the room next? You make a cup of tea and you can hear them, but I can't see what they're doing. So when you picture it, can you see the rules? Squint. I can just see the goodbye.

in the room, but I can't see any... Pan down, pan down. You've got the camera too high. You can only see people's faces. Zoom to the floor. What is on the table? What are they playing? It's not monopoly, but it's something new.

It's completely new. You can see what it is. Sacks' eyes are closed, everybody. We're all trying to see it. We love to see it. The boy, are they having fun. Everyone's loving it. Move back. Move back.

Mom, you're blocking the kids. camera, can't see the game. I've only got a few more minutes of this hallucination. I need to see it. Whereas if we just rebadge Monopoly, all you get is like people go, oh, yeah, see what they did in here. Yeah, we're not doing that. I'm just trying to help you out here.

I'm trying to help you out deliver on this promise. Yeah. So here's the question. Okay, so we've imagined the outcome. So, you know, I can imagine me on top of Everest. Everyone's cheering. He's done it. One day a sentence, shorts and a t-shirt, no oxygen.

I'm high-fiving all the Sherpers. It feels great. How did I do it? How did I possibly do it? So here's Jack, I want to ask, are we off? Is this out? We finished. Give me three years.

You can have one and a half. Okay, deal. Jeez, it better be, it better be awesome. You've got till Christmas, 2027. Can it be released in time for Christmas, 2027? Yeah, it will be in store. for 2027. Of course it will.

We just ended with a big promise. Jents, I had a WhatsApp group mishap. What happened? I mean, you've got your traditional ones. They're easy to mix up. You know, not realizing someone was added to the thread and then talking about them, that's one of your traditionals.

It's also hard. There needs to be a feature on WhatsApp because group chats always have funny names. And then you're like, I can't remember our funny name for these three people. We were like, you know, like sense of Fiji or something like, what was our name for that, you know, like three-course luncheon? Like who is on?

I can't remember. What's the group of words? We've got one called the running golfers just guys enjoy running and playing golf. We're like, who is on this? Yeah, so yeah, that's another mishap. Posting to the wrong thread, something that may be appropriate for footy mates, not as appropriate for kindergarten.

Well, yeah, the only thing I, school WhatsApps are like a whole world. You're not in it, Jack, but you'll get there. You'll get there next year. And, you know, then you have kids in two different year levels. And then there's like the general year level one. Like there's like year three, all of year three, then there's just year three D. And it's just, you know, it can be like 80 notifications a minute. I have to mute those.

It's too much. It's too. In more than like three or four messages deep, I don't. go back to read what I've missed. And I cannot not think of a funny reply. Well, funny to me, but like a non-helpful reply. And Zoe's banned me from participating in the group. Because it'll be like, you know, oh, guys, what, like, what's going on with tomorrow?

Is it a gold coin donation? I think is it, like, is it casual or is it, is that just for you threes? Or is that, you know, is that for everyone? And, you know, I was more about stuff like, well, I'm, I always going casual. Like, you know, to the group and it's not helpful. It just adds noise. But it's all my brain can think of. So it's like, hey, man, you're not helping in the group chat,

sorry, I can just sit there one out. Yes. Well, this doesn't apply, like, into any of those traditional categories of error. In fact, it's not even user error. It's just unlucky. It's for my over 40s Masters hockey team group chat. How's the team going? Going well.

Thank you. Masters of the field. Yes. Gatto uploads a photo of his knee and lower. thigh that is very, very bruised and growing out, he's clearly got a ball there during the game and he's going, you know, wore this one, lads. Yeah, which is the kind of stuff. At a glance from a distance, is it clearly a knee and a lot of half or could it have been, yeah.

So that's got people on the chat saying things like, Ouch, Gatto. Yep. And poor, that's a good one. Or, geez, Gatto, that's nasty. Yeah, it doesn't look good, mate. It is hard. I know when you like, it's with happy birthdays I find as well, you feel like you have to variate it a little bit.

Yes. All variations. HB, man. But again, the reason you don't involve jump in on the class group chat too is because it's like, oh, here's the performance from assembly. Yeah. And then once a person are like, wow. And they're like, so good.

Like, kids aren't even reading this. They're not on it. We don't have to say, congrats, guys. Like, we get it. We all love them. They're our kids. So the standard ones had been going in with those type of... So I'm thinking, gee, I'm a bit late to this.

I'd better send off my equivalent of Oach Gatto. Yeah. At the very same time, someone else is also sending a message, which is a different topic completely. And theirs happens to come into the group before mine. Before you can send your torpedoes out. But I've sent mine. There's just appears first.

go, there's reads, Hey guys, just wanted to pass on the sad news that David's mum passed away. Thoughts are with you, mate. Love to you and the family. My reply? Yikes, exclamation mark, exclamation mark. Nothing, a few cold beers won't fix. Wow, so unlikely.

That's really a mucky. Torpedoes just crossed each other in the ocean. I sent and put the phone down. I've come back to just condolence, condolence, condolence. I was like, this is a bit odd. What have I missed here? And gone up, I am first reply to that message. But then people will be looking at it being like,

oh, that's what I normally write, nothing a few cold beers won't fix when someone's parent dies, but Andy's got him with that. So what's my variation I can do? Nothing if you nip nips of whiskey won't fix. All right, you ready, Ham? Okay, here we go. Let's jump into this.

Gusto, gusto check. We're going to do a gusto check. Fellas, I was actually in Townsville last week, quickly, and went to a cafe there. Cafe called the Pedlar Project. Was it good? It was lovely. It was actually a very nice cafe.

found out the history, because I actually went there two days in a row and got talking to the guy that worked there, the owner, used to be a coffee cart on the back of a bike. Right. You know, it's done good. And has cartels become a butterfly. It sure has. And now the butterfly has become Mothra from the Godzilla movie.

Right. Because now it's a big cafe that's, you know, doing very well. And, you know, he's a big fan of the show. And he knows his name. I think I know his name. He obviously knows his names. There's no need to say it. Before this break,

goes, hang on the second, guys, hang on a second, I'm just going to look, quickly look, something. And then you spent like 15 seconds? Yeah,

no, no, I'm good, I'm good. I think it's Joel, and if it's not Joel, it's so close to Joel that I think

you'll appreciate how close I've got it. Because if he's a true fan of the show, he'll know names up, my forte. Yes. Place is great.

I was in there two days in a row, and he was like, you know, big fan of the pod, doing some boughs, doing some, you know, well,

I guess not dollars. No addition to the tip jar, but doing some boughs. And he goes, hey, love it if you could gusto check at a cafe. I was like, oh,

mate, we don't, I've actually never had a request for a gusto check from like an in-person gustav. This is like that TV show undercover boss where the boss

reaches out to the show to go, hey, let me do it. Let me go on the factory. Yeah. So I said to him, look, it's big call because a gusto check can go either way. Come off looking real low gusto and that's not good for the business.

And then you'll be back on the back of a car bike. Yeah. If they have a skateboard project, bust you all the way down to a pair of rollerblades and just a tin of Macona. There's rollerblading around offering two scoops for a dollar. Yep. That's been going to make or break companies this. If you are willing to take that risk.

Yeah. Sure. I said, look, mate, all right, well, obviously, I can't tell you when. I can't tell you. I said, probably won't be for months. It could be next year, said to him. So are you ready to be at high gusto the whole time? He was like, when I'm ready.

Great. The genius of that is he won't be expecting right now. Okay. So I've told him to brace for a year from now, which. No, I think it's probably more front of mind. But let's just do it anyway. I feel like, I feel like the temptation would be to take the foot off the gusto pedal for us, Knowing, no, for him, knowing that he's not going to get audited for some time in Augusta audit.

That's why I think most likely to have his defences down now. And then we zoom in and Gusto check him now. Okay. So basically, for people who don't know what this is, we ring people to see, businesses to see how happy they are, how much gust do they have in customer service, their public facing approach. Hey, and we judge them on their hello? Yep. The greeting.

They're goodbye, but also something in the middle. what are you thinking? I noticed they do have a few specials. I reckon I'd be like, what's the best special today? The one I really like is when you say, I know there's a cafe around the corner or something, why should I choose yours? It's such a hard question.

I think what about this? Like, Mackay is some drive from Townsville, but to go, I'm coming in from Mackay. And I've Googled a few cafes. Yep. Why should I? Why should I come from Mackay to go to your cafe? Can you just go with other seats comfy as well?

I don't think you'd ever ask someone that. good seats. I have a hip issue. I have a sensitive. I have sensitive glutes. Okay. So we got four categories today. Okay, sorry, what's the best special?

Oh, special as well. How's your seats? And then I'm coming from Mackay. Yep. And then goodbye. Okay, gee, there's five category. All right. Yeah, five.

I mean, that will give us a good score. Yeah. Jack, you got the number? Yep. Good luck. here we go ahead. Good morning, Pedlar Project. How can I help today?

Oh, good-day. How are you going? Good. How can I help? Man, I'm just wondering, what's your best special today? The best special today, mate. I like all of them, but, oh, mate,

my probably my top two is probably the slow-cooked beef bolognese or the Wagyu beef burger. They're my two favorites at the moment. Sounds pretty good. I'm coming in, but I've got quite a bit of a sitting issue. How comfy are your seats? Oh, mate, I've got a wide variety. I've got a beautiful couch inside.

I've got a couple of soft red leather chairs, and I've just got a regular wooden chairs. Yeah, right, okay, that sounds pretty good. Actually, I live in Mackay, making the drive up, and just trying to figure out where I'm going to eat. why should I go there? Oh mate, I reckon we got the best food this side of the Murray River, if I'm being honest with you.

Murray? That's not just my opinion. That's, I reckon that's food. The best cafe in towns of 100%, mate. All right. What was your name? Mitch. Yeah, good.

Good, Mitch. All right, well, I'll come and I'll see you. I'll probably see you the salvo, Mitch. Mate, beautiful, mate. Well, kitchen's open until 1 o'clock, just so you're aware, mate. good gusto Mitch hey thank you mate hey we'll see you this afternoon

thank you very much okay cheers bye bye bye wow I mean it felt like such good gust I was like he been worn yeah it wasn't I don't think that was the owner

that I spoke to but rate tester at the end yeah because I mean he doesn't start with Joel if it was Joel I would be like all right this but I don't think Mitch was the

the name that I got. No. So I was just like, this feels like they've had a staff meeting and like if we get called on anything, go maximum gusset because it was just straight tens.

Let's quickly go through. Hello was an attempt. This side of the Murray, I mean, I'm in town for the Murray's in Victorian. The Murray is a good 2,500 kilometres away. He might have been this side of Antarctica.

Let's quickly go through it though. Hello, I had as a 7. I had it still as a 9 out of 10 because he went straight and to you, hello, how are you and what can I do for you? Yeah, to me it was... Which is a mate. I mean, he couldn't have known that's a gusto check.

The line was fine. I just didn't think it had enough pep in it. But, Jane, you were 10, were you? Well, I mean, that's the only true... If they're all, if they've been on guard for a week for a gusto check, he couldn't have known by that stage. Like, even though I did an amazing job of masking my voice, I feel like he could have more pep.

Yeah, okay, fair enough. But then it came a strong. Oh my God, the two specials. The specials was a 10. The seats was huge. The seats was incredible. That's what I started to smell a right. A selection of seats.

I was like, I'm this guys. These guys have been on the guard for a gusto check for a week. He's giving you options in menu. He's giving you options in seats. And then he said it's the best feed this side of the Murray. 10 over 10. And then the goodbye was heaps with a reminder that the kitchen closed at one. Let's call him back, though, because it was suspicious, wasn't it?

But I do respect. I mean, you know, you guys are in Melbourne. You know, we're all Melbourne boys at heart. It is generally considered the breakfast. Hello, Petal Project. Oh, sorry. Hello. Hello.

Who's this? This is Jordan. Jordan. Jordan, it's Hamish and Andy here. Hello. How are you? Jordan, did you meet Hamish in Townsville? I did, sir, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, close enough, him. Jordo, I, it is great to hear your voice again. We just spoke to Mitch. We just spoke to Mitch. You'd guess what we were doing? Manager Mitch, was it Augusto? Gusto check, mate. A man of your word, Hamas, thank you.

I told you to be on guard for a year, and I thought we'd sneak one in fast to maybe catch you off guard, but it didn't seem like Mitch was off guard. Be honest, Jordan. Was Mitch aware of Augusto? check coming? No, so I've just walked in and he's a bit flustered and he said, I've just had a weird phone call and I feel like I know who it is, but I can't put my finger on it. And then he went to answer this phone call and he just decided to pass it to me. He's had too big a day on the phone. He's got stoned. Tanks empty. Can you ask Mitch for us now? Actually, can you put

Mitch on for us, Jordan? Just quickly. I will. I'll put Mitchie on straight away. Here we are, Mitch. Oh, hello, this is Mitchell speaking. Mitchell, how much Andy here? You don't have to, you can drop the gusto, mate. If you've already passed this line colours, you don't need to use your full name. Did you know that it was a gusto check? No, I didn't, but I kind of realized when you said it at the end.

Yeah, well, I threw that in there to test because I was like, it just seems like you were ready for it. You were, you've probably scored the highest amount of gusto we've ever had during a gustow check. Oh, mate, I'm glad to hear that. I am glad to hear that. Mitch, where did you grow up? Where did this side of the Murray come from?

Hey, this, mate, I've been all over the place. Brizzy born. I lived in Aubrey-Wadonga. That's where the Murray reference goes. I was like, you just don't hear a lot of people in townsfield talking about the Murray River. I was born and raised by the steamboats on Murray River, mate. That's it. Okay.

Yes, hence the reference. Coal smoke in your blood. Mitch, thank you so much. Congratulations. It's a huge score at Gusto check. Just pass us back on to Jordan so we can, A, tell him to give you a raise and also tell him that Hames kept his word. Absolutely.

I pass him over. Cheers. Hello. Giordano. Gordo, great news. Mitch has scored the highest gusto we've ever had on the show. Now, do you know in America, I don't know if you've been to America, on up, but if they do this health inspection thing and you get like an A, you have to put it up

in the window. I think you, like an A, a B or whatever. Yes. We should do the same thing with gusto checks where you can actually put your gusto rating in the window, like, as determined by Hammish and Andy. Now, we can't be bothered making that graphic, but we authorise you. Harley just nodded and gave the thumbs up from our side. We're not doing that, but we all are authorising you to make your own graphic to say,

Absolutely. As rated 98% gusto on the Hamish and Andy podcast, and you can do like a little fuel gauge with the dial all the way up nearly at the top. Absolutely. We'll get it done. Yep. We'll, uh,

something that Jack can whip up. Graphic design is in my forte, Jordan, but I could... Don't get him to promise anything, mate. He never does that, John. What have you just tied to stuff? The rest of the year chasing retail. Hey, Jordan, before the lie came out of his mouth,

I thought I'd jump in. Just going to save you months of waiting, Jack trying to find someone traveling to Townsville with the top. He doesn't have the time. You're a cafe to run, mate. See you, buddy. Thanks, Chaudot. Thanks, guys.

See you, mate. Actually, just while we're, hang on, quickly, last bit on this side of the Murray, that's not even a good saying in Aubrey-Wodonga because it could be like 10 metres. If you go, this is the best, best feed this side of the Murray. If your cafe is 50 metres from the Murray, if you're in Aubrey-Rodonger, like you're on the Murray.

But does that include everything about it? love it though. Technically it does include everything. You know, best feed this side of the Murray. Oh, you include even the northern. Yeah, can keep going north all you want, but this is the best feed. North America, Europe, everything. Or it does it mean in the bit from the Murray to here this is the best feed, but then there could be another best feed further up?

You're right. It probably in the sense that Mitch was saying it means between here and the Murray and the Murray. Murray is the best fee, which is a great saying in Townsville. It's a terrible saying in Aubrey. You can be, what I was going to say before, at being Melbourne boys, I like that it does kind of give it,

pay his credit to the breakfast scene of Melbourne. You never fired it. Like, well, obviously below the Murray, we can't beat any of those. But this side of the Murray, we can beat those. Guys, you may remember that kind of out of the blue, well, I receive,

but it was kind of for us a voice note on WhatsApp from our favourite human actor in the movie War Horse. Yes, Jeremy. Preferred human actor. We like it in other things, but the horse, obviously, in War Horse was our favourite actor in that film. Did we ever get the horse's name? No, no.

Nor, to be really honest, did we see the film? But it was a, the reason we know the movie War Horse. Because when we were in New York, I believe, was it playing in the back of taxis when we're in? Yes, when you go to New York, in the back of a taxi, they play that there's like TV station. We've seen 90 minutes of it. We saw, we have seen 90.

30-second increments in the ad. Well, they play a whole film. No, just 30 seconds. We've seen 180 times that 30-second clip. And it just seemed to be everywhere. And we were living in New York at the time, so it was like saturated into our brains forever. I'd say most people, wonderful film.

by all accounts. Was it Spielberg? What about it? Spielberg. And then Jeremy came a friend of the show. He actually got Andy by Hamish and sprayed Pierce Brosland with it. Woffed it on Pierce Brosnan for us, which forever vaulted him into a Hall of Fame, like favorite human actor category.

Which I believe Pierce didn't love, but that's life. And that was on the set of Ma'amia. He has sent another voicemail in. The most recent one was about a filthy habit that he's mate had. and for some reason he feels like when he comes across another habit that stays full, he feels the need to send it to us. Where the choice. So this is the most recent voice note from Jeremy Ovid.

All righty. So, feral British person story number two. So again, one of my friends, and she's back on the dating scene and is back on the dating apps, which I know could be a minefield for, revolting stories, but you know, needs them, she's got to do what a girl's got to do. So she meets

this guy and ends up going back to his and he's got a dog. But anyway, they do what they do. And she then asked for a glass of water and he goes, oh,

I've actually got a system for that. He reaches under his bed, he pulls out a washing up bowl. the sort of thing you're keeping your sink. It's full of water. Grabs two mugs from the side of the bed, dips them both in the water,

and hands on to her. A bit odd. But then the dog jumps off the bed, which, yes, had been there the whole time, and starts drinking from the water. She goes, oh, the dog's getting in your nighttime water. He goes, oh, no, it's all right, it's communal. See, yeah.

Your nighttime water like it's branded or a common thing. I also like, don't worry, I've got a system for this. I have a system for this. In my mind,

I'm thinking, yes, we all have a system. Amazing. Twist the handles. Water comes out of the spout. It's almost like magic. Yes.

Twist them off. It stops. Unless the floor is actually lava and you can't get out of your bed. Yes. There is no reason to have nighttime water. It seems.

It seems like an emergency situation. Or if they're in a cottage in the middle of nowhere. And you have to go out to a manual pump out in the yard. The manual well or something where you brought a bucket in from the well that is some hike away. Because also if you have a faucet in the house, like a regular tap, filling up the tub and then like stocking the mugs, it's just more effort. It has to be more effort than a trip to the bathroom to put your head under the tap. Yeah.

We're at the stage in our house at the moment. And I remember this is a kid where you just, if you're thirsty, you shun cups and it's just head under the tap. Love that. Like when the kids are like during dinner, they're like, oh, can you get a drink? You're like, well, you know, the cups like guys, go get it yourself. They're like, nah, always to the sink. Like, always just pounding water from the tap.

And you forget, they forget to breathe kids. Yeah. And they just, and as they pounded. There is an age, I think it's probably around. It's like six to 12. Yep. where you're either you've had half your body weight in water or you're dying of dehydrated. They're never adequately hydrated.

So when they remember to drink, it is like a horse coming out of the desert. Like they either just full head under the water panting like, ah, I'm going to get more in. Or it's just, yeah, or there's just nothing. It's a great phase. It's a great phase to be. I still like a head under the tap. Really? Through in the night, I do, yeah.

Yeah. Well, that's very fast. and less of you in it. Because the reason I don't do the glass is because I'm like, what a waste of time the glass is. Exactly. It's like double handling. That's why the efficiency is what I like. Oh, you like efficiency.

Yeah. Cool. I like to keep a glass that's just my water glass that I know doesn't have to get washed again. And that can stay for like two or three days, then it goes back into the dishwasher. That's just right. Are you, do you put lips on the tap and or do you go from the stream? No, no, they're from the stream. Okay.

The kids, you don't do lips on the tap. I sometimes as a range finder but then when I'm washing my hands I'll try and splash it back upwards like up around the tap. Do you like wash it? Yeah, after a little while to be like, well I've been putting my lips on that so I'll wash the germs off. I think.

You can do lips on the tap. Yeah, but people come around. No one's coming around to the kid's bathroom. Oh, it's the kid's bathroom. Well, that's the one I'm next to so I'm just drinking, I'm just a little bit of lips on the tab. But especially for your hygiene is as much as much as much as leaving your DNA behind.

What about my hygiene? Well, don't put your mouth on a tap. The only other person that's drinking from that tap is me. You can't get sick from your old germs. You get your glasses. You get leg around for four days. Yeah, you get less sick, if anything. They're dead.

Most of them have dried out. Only the ones lucky enough to be near the rim have got enough moisture to live. Gentlemen, I think when one of us puts in a, fair bit of effort on a segment. We should celebrate it. And I'm the first to admit, sometimes we've come up with an idea and I'm like, oh, we should follow that up. This is one of those occasions where I had a thought and I just rolled up my sleeves and I got to work and I've investigated something. And it's not a blow something wide open, but it has a high level

of effort. Well done. Thank you. We'll see. Thank you, Jack. I'm happy to take it early. Well done. We'll lock in your response. Andy is reserving his rights to comment. If you were with the phrase, dime a dozen. Yeah. So essentially 10 cents for 12 would be a dime being the American 10 cents. Yep. So 10 cents for 12 or 1.2 cents each. Yes.

It's not as catchy a phrase. But yeah, you know, oh God, 1.2 cents each. Meaning they're common. Common. Meaning that there's so much of it. Is abundance of it, hence a low price. Wouldn't it be under one? wouldn't it be under one?

Getting 12 for 10 cents? That's what it is. I mean it's a dime a dozen. I mean, it's got to be less than a cent. I think he's doing the math saying if it was a dime a dozen, that would have... Oh, you're right, so you're point eight. Something like that, you're right.

I hadn't done the maths that way. Well, you said you did all this extra homework, so I'm just trying to say you're working out. You've already given you. You've been well done, so you can't come in. Yeah, so it's 10 cents for 12. You're right, Jack. That's about a cent each with two.

two bonus units thrown in for a good customer. And I actually, so the first bit of research that it was like, where did this actually come from? It's from the 20s. And you know what the first, it was actually used initially for eggs, which really just shows you how far we've come in 100 years. Because you ain't getting 12 eggs for 10 cents these days. Getting 12 eggs for 10 bucks. And some, depending what, if you go to organically, depending on how.

For some reason, things we have to go exclusively this. Oh, you can get even, you can get even. even more than $10 for a 12-pack. Really? Yeah, I mean, if you're buying them cracked and cooked at a cafe, you can spend hundreds of dollars on 12 eggs. Yes. No, yeah, some of it's going to be like $14, $15.

It depends on the state of chicken it comes from. I'm not an advocate for the right at the bottom end, but I do appreciate everyone's got different. Precious. Yes. I mean, there can be some really unhappy chickens out there. But anyway, that's where it came from, 10 cents for 12 eggs. So I thought that's such an, we all, we use, you hear the saying these days.

my quest was to go, is there anything these days? Oh, that's a diamond, does it? Yeah, it would be. Yeah, well, what is it? Mushrooms? No. 10 cents, 12 mushrooms for 10 cents. No, I don't think so.

There'd be a seed. There'd be like a, like a, like if you. I thought frozen peas. Frozen peas, yeah, so did you buy a pack? I bought a pack and I counted out the peas. And how many peas? Give you some maths. In the end, you get, from the pack I had, the frozen peas I had,

it was a 500 gram frozen peas pack from the supermarket. 29 for 10 cents. Oh. So far more. Better than five a dozen. Far more, nearly, you know, between two and a half dozen. A dime. So that's your frozen peas ratio.

So I thought, okay, well, we need a bigger unit then. Because I thought before I did this, maybe you could go rice. Do you go? No, rice, you're going to get white. Way more. And then I thought maybe sprinkles, but again, you're just going to get tons. There's thousands. You need, grapes is too many.

I think you're only going to, I didn't do grapes because I thought you're jumping up, you're jumping up a unit too high there. You're probably going to get two for 10 cents. You need it to land in the magic 12. So do you go to beans, frozen beans? The frozen idea is a good one, I think. What about corn? Chick peas.

Chick peas. That's good. Chick peas. Count of them out. Count of the chick peas. Do a little bit of rounding. close. Okay.

Close. What are we talking? How many you get for a dozen? Well, for a dime, for 10 cents, you actually, with rounding, it landed at 10 chickpeas for 10 cents. One cent a pea.

Wow. One send a chickpea. Yep. Now I thought, okay, we're so close here. Could keep going. But I think, what else are we going to find, really, that's going to land that close?

What? Did that big run off them? Hang on. And I thought, okay, what we really need to do here is how do we add a little bit of cost to this? What about a nut? Yeah, hang on. Listen, hear me out. Sorry.

So what do you get these days? There's 10 cents for 12. By my maths, if you added a pasta or a tomato sauce to the chickpeas, that would be about, that would be a little bit more expensive. And what do you mean? Like, so if you put tomato sauce on top of a chickpeas. Or get smaller chickpeas. Smaller chickpeas. I bought it. I think they were quite large.

Small chickpeas, I reckon you'd get a dime a dozen. Is this the end of this thing? It had so much promise because... Jack, I thought the peas were going to do it. I was so shocked that there was so much more. I couldn't keep up... I was okay, I've got all these peas and chickpeas out on the bench. And I kind of literally told her what I was doing,

and she was like, we have to get you working more than one day and week. I was like, this is the job. This is the job, babe. This is the job. put in. This is huge. Peanuts is a good idea, no, Ando. Peanuts, I'll...

Do you want me to look at it this week? I'd love you too. Well, just pretend I didn't. I was like, no, you get 15. I'm like, no, you get 15. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at hamish and Andy.com.