Hamish & Andy - 340 - Risking Bec’s Life for an AirPod

Episode Date: July 15, 2026

Andy turns private investigator when his AirPods lead him on a stakeout through a notoriously dicey LA suburb. Hame interviews for the job of 'office's worst employee', and there's a shocking reveal in the ongoing Fisiocrem saga after a decade of the boys calling it "the world's number one creme." Plus, Upset Andy is back for a special international edition, and there's a huge (but top secret) update from the Hame's Hives world. 1. Risking Bec’s Life for an AirPod 2. Worst Employee 3. Historical Bombshell - Fisiocrem / Sudocrem 4. Upset Andy - International Edition 5. Bee World non-update 

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. Ahoy to my id. Hamish. Are we parts of the brain? The ego, the id, the super ego, super id.

That's it. Is that us? Yes. Oh, mate, there we go. Part of the psyche, is it Freud? It's the three parts of the personality, according to fraudian psychology. You're right.

Id, you'd be my ego, Jack, and I'd be super ego. Id is impulses and desires, so I reckon that matches up quite nice. You're Ed. Oh, yeah. You used to be a cop with the Wizard of I'd over there. Yeah, the Wizard of I'd, and I always thought he was the Wizard of ID.

And too much, much, too late into my... I'm four. Can you get me into a club? There's only one man that could make a fake ID for a four-year-old. The Wizard of ID. So, So, I want it now. That's that part of your brain.

Working on curbing that. The ego, the practical decision maker. How can I get what I want in a realistic way? That's you, Jacko. I got it into this order. Super ego, your internal sense of right and wrong. What is the right thing to do? They all match very well.

They do match for it. I mean, actually kind of like freakishly well. Yes, are we all. Maybe that's why the show works. We're like all perfectly represented three parts of the psyche. Also, Ahoi to Clancy, who went to Hamishnini.com. Anyone can head fair and just upload an audio message of what they've been up to. You've got a chance to be on the show.

Ahoy, Hamish, Andy and number six. I'm coming to you with a public service announcement, if you will, in particular for those GIS enthusiasts. My partner is not a gist enthusiast. In fact, he is the polar opposite of fast and loose when it comes to his toilet habits. He likes to take, I would say, a good 10 to 20 minutes when doing a number two. Recently, we were in Adelaide for a wedding and we're on a bit of a pub crawl. We didn't have much time. So he decided to attempt his first gist. He did it. However, he did feel a little bit of a little. bit of discomfort at the time.

It will happen. Fast forward now, a week on, and he's currently in surgery to have a perianal absus drained. So not saying that it was caused by the gist, however, I don't think it's a coincidence that he only felt the pain after his first gist. So I just wanted to let everybody know out there all of those gist enthusiasts or the potential giss enthusiasts, just be sure that you're gissing. safely.

Great message. Okay, there's a lot to time hack there and not just in the sense of pus and, you know, and infection from the bum. First of all, you know, of course we all love to spend 20 minutes on the toilet. This is the, I'm not doing gone and 60 seconds at home. No, no. This is when, if and when needs be, you have to evacuate your boughs in under 60 seconds to confuse passes by the think you couldn't have possibly pooed that fast.

You must have done a way. Therefore, even just going into the bathroom after you be like, Well, it wasn't that guy because it was barely in here. So that's really the point of a gist. Now, of course, that's why I made the instructional tapes, and I think it's 12 cassettes in the set. You can't just go, oh, I'm going to have a crack at that, and just blow it out as hard as you can,

because that's what happens. We've seen someone now a man get injured because he tried to do a professional level thing. Which is good to hear about the losses. You know, you always hear about the winds. Like Campbell. Yeah. And it's like social media.

It's like people are only putting up the fastest poos they did. What about the ones that blew their rings apart? You know, no one shows you that side of the life. But of course it's happening. And so it's good to see it. Guys, I wanted it at the start of the show. Yeah, what have you done? Because I've been accused of risking Beck's life.

Oh, my gosh. Which I believe... By Beck or by a passerby? Well, pretty much everyone I've told the story. No one's been on my side yet. Oh, boy. Well, good luck. We'll try our best.

I think my AirPods got stolen in America. I may have misplaced them. That doesn't matter. Yep. The matter is you can do on find my devices. Yep. Yep. Where your stuff is, you know, whether it be your phone or...

You have to register that? No, it just automatically happens. It automatically does it. Yeah, right. Because I'm not doing it if you have to register it. No, automatically doesn't. Okay. So we had a high car.

Beck and her parents were staying on in L.A. I was off to the airport. We had to check out early. So I dropped it at their new hotel. And I had a couple of hours to spare. So I looked up on five-mind devices. And I'm like, hmm, I know where these, my AirPods are. They're in a suburb called Goddina, I think it's called.

It's alongside Compton to give you perspective. As kids that grew up in the 90s, we only know from boys in the hood, the ice cube. But we know it as a, you know, back in the 90s. could be a dangerous place. Not sure what it's like now. Not a tourist destination. Yeah, traditionally. Could have been generous.

I don't know. So I said, guys, I'll leave you to it. I'm going to go get to the airport early. And Beck said, are you going to go try and find your AirPods? And I said, yes, I am. She said, I think that's really dangerous. You shouldn't go. Were they in the hike?

So someone's just picked him up, you think, and... Well, you don't know. All you see is the last three days. They've been driving around. They're being used. They're being really. recharged. There are sometimes out in this guy's ears or girl's ears and then they're back in their case and they seem to be going back to this same location each night.

I mean, there's nothing, to be fair to this person that found your AirPods. What are you meant to do if you find a pair of air pod? You can't get them back to the person. It doesn't go, this is this person's email address. Like, no. You just enjoy them. Yeah. That's where I think that, I think they've been stolen. What should this person do? Well, I think they hand them in. If I had left them at the airport, they should have hand them into a lot of them. You probably, what if you left him on the seat of a cafe? Well, leave him at the cafe.

So I can go back. I just think you go, look, chances of someone coming back are pretty low. I think that, okay. Anyway, so Beck's dad said, please don't go to this place to get the airports. I said, it'll be fine, be fine. He said, let's ask the bellhop who was just taking their bags out of the car. He said, would you ever go to Gardena? And he's like, why would you go there?

To confront a thief. And I said, oh, my AirPods, you go, mate, just leave them. Yeah, leave them. Oh, yeah, okay. I'll leave them. I was never going to leave them. You know, you know this with me. It was just itching at me like I can go and confront this person.

But you also like to get to the airport early, so you must be between two worlds. I had plenty of time, Jack. I had plenty of time. So I go to the car. Beck chases me down and she says, you're going, aren't you? I said, yeah, I'm going to go. I'm going to go and just see if I can find. She goes, I want to come with you.

So her dad's not happy with me for this. We're off on this adventure to find the AirPods. Cute. Cute in the way that taking a human shield can be cute. So we drive out to Gardena. It's like 20 minutes from the airport. It's not too far. Nice.

Anything. Quite like the efficiency. Even if we do get shot at, this has at least hasn't been too far out of our way. So we're going down and we're trying. tracking them, because you can get it to like the nearest 10 metres. Yeah, great. And so we pull up in the street and there's a lot of people looking at us.

And there's a bit of, what are you up to? So we get out and this guy comes out and goes, what do you want to me? And I said, I'm looking for my AirPods. Tough guy. They track to this kind of area. I mean, have you seen any AirPods? Said, no, I haven't seen any AirPods. I said, okay.

See ya. Well, we tried. So then you can press a button. You can make it a good. That makes them ding. Okay. So I'm like, okay, cool. And I press the button and we think we hear something,

but it's not from his house. And I'm like, okay, thanks very much. And he said, man, I wouldn't be doing this. It's AirPods. Just get some more this other neighbour. I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They told that. That's registered.

I've decided I'm going to go out a different path. Across the road, there's a set of apartments, flats. This guy hurries out, backpack on, air pods in his ears. And he starts walking on. I look at the tracker. I mean, you are in California, the home of Apple. Yeah. There are going to be more than one of the AirPods around.

So. Are you look at the tracker, you think? The track, it looked like it was on the move. It's moving at his pace. Yeah. So I ran up to him and said, hey, hey, hey, mate, mate. citizen's arrest. He pauses and takes an air pod out.

I said, hey. That looks exactly like my airport. Where's Beck at this stage? In the car? She's loitering close to the car to be able to get back into it. Not thrilled that I've tried to make a citizen's arrest. So I said, hey, mate, just wondering, just looking for my AirPods. Have you seen, have you had any AirPods in your ears in the last 10 seconds?

Would you have one in your hand right now? now. He said, these are my AirPods. Yeah. And then he took him out of his ears, and he did have a lot of wax on them, but you could do that. It's been three days. You see, they're pretty old. And I said, oh, do you mind if I see the case? Because on my case, I have a printed out label that says Andy's AirPods. That's right. Didn't you do this to stop Beck taking your AirPods? Yes. But it's obviously got another opportunity. God, this is where Andy's just neat and practicalness meets this could be life-threatening for you.

He pulls out the case. It's one of those custom-coloured cases. It's like a rubber, like a silicon thing around it. It's not mine. How do you know he's not hiding it in that case? No, no, it had like it was. Well, they did like a colour run. Yeah, colour run on the case.

Okay. And I'm really sorry. And he's like, that's right, man. No problems. And he walks off. And we watch it and I'm sitting there going, could be in his backpack. No, he leaves, but it doesn't keep tracking.

It's still right there. We're out in front of the house. Okay. So how many apartments are in this building? So this is where you're like, okay, now I just need to lay siege to these apartments for only two weeks. I mean, people must come out. Yes. There's about 12.

House next door, huge signs saying dog will attack. Don't come on the trespass. So I'm like, okay, we're not going there back. I think compared to what Andy could do. I press the button again to play it. And we hear the little sound. Jeez. Just a little.

And then this man. on the third floor balcony, we look up, peaks, and then like a tortoise. My shave, that is a guilty peak. And I said, hey. And at this point, Beck's like, no, no, no, no, let's go. I was like, hey, woo. And he comes back out. I said, hey, how's the day going?

He's like, good. I said, have you seen any AirPods? He just shakes his head and walks back inside. I've said, hey, excuse me, sorry, sorry. He keeps coming out. And he comes back out again. He does have the option to get it. He's a bad turtle because you've got your shell.

Go in the shell. Don't keep coming, popping your head out of the shell. Yeah, but he's on a third floor of these apartments. He feels pretty confident. That's when Annie pulls out. He's grappling with. So I said, sorry, just can I grab a couple moments? It may have been by accident because at this stage, I'm like,

there's no set, like he's obviously taken them. So how am I going to convince him that it's okay to give them back? You probably took the meaning to give them back to the owner. Great news. Yeah, that kind of thing. I said, have you seen them? And he goes, no, no, no. And then walk back inside.

Yeah. I then see, which you can see on the device, the AirPods taken out of the case. He's having one last last one. I'm like, go down with the pods. All right, listen, we're surrounded. I love you. I've never had sound like this.

Never been able to afford AirPods. I usually have wired $20 headphones. Let's do it. Let's play Queens of the Stone Age one last time. Full bore. And then he comes back out. And I go, hey, have you just taken the AirPods out of the case? He's like, no, I don't have the AirPods.

Yep. I went, all right. He's got a pretty solid position. He's got the opportunity to just keep denying. Yes. So I go, okay. I'm setting my girlfriend up. Is this the bit where you respect life?

I bet you this young woman's life, you do have them. So I go to Beck. Hey, Beck, I'm just going to go up and knock on the door. Have a chat. Have a chat. She's like, please don't. Please, please, please don't. Like, I feel, I don't feel comfortable.

Yeah. I said, you don't come up. You stay here. I'll see if I can just get the tour. us out of his shells. And she's like, please, please don't. And I look across at the original guy that I'd ask for the AirPods. And he's there with a rake in his front yard.

And his dad's now beside him. Doesn't sound like boys in the hood. And that guy just looks at me and shakes his head. Shakes his head. And I thought at that point, hmm. Do you think he was shaking his head like, don't listen to Beck? No, I think it was, I wouldn't head on up there. Yep.

And your girlfriend literally saying to your face, please don't do this. Yes. So, but it was the man with the rake that finally made you turn around? Yeah, it was a man with the rake. If rake guy's not thinking about it, maybe Beck's got a point. The rake guy knows this guy better than Beck does. Yeah. That's good intel.

So we went back to the car and we left. And this is a few weeks ago. now, but once a week at least, I look it up. Are you there? Yeah, okay. And it's still in the same spot, and they're charged. They went to Manhattan Beach the other day. They're having a good life.

They are having a good life. Air pods are never meant to be yours forever. Mine certainly aren't. You get a year out of them. Mine, I've told you this. I've got a case in my bag that has no AirPods in it. Yes. But I still keep the case wondering, maybe I'll see him again one day,

because I'm sure I'll find them in the pockets of a jacket or something like that. You realize you could do, or not anymore, they'd be under charge, but you could have done fine mine. Oh, yeah, they're probably been through the wash a few times in an area that I don't know about. Yeah. I mean, I know this is, this, I'm outing myself here for a giant must be nice.

But when your AirPods connect to your phone, you know, you can name them or they just give themselves a name. Yeah. Mine are AirPods. Hamish's AirPods number five. Yeah, Bianca's up to three. So they're not, you never truly own an airport, Andy. You merely look after it for the next lucky person that finds them.

I can come to terms of that. Yeah, he's having a good time. Because a mate of mine has just had a gut full of one of his co-workers. Yeah. And I'm not doing that thing where, you know, a mate of mine, it's actually, I'm talking about me. It's jackposts. It's not jackpost.

We have a bloody great time in here. And we're not workers. Yeah. So we can't be classifieds. How can you co-workers? there's an element that doesn't do any work. That's true. I'm co-hobbies.

No, but even within the greater team. Yeah. What a team. What a team. But I can imagine it is super annoying to work in one of those kind of nine to five. Well, Andy, we've talked about this before. Like, we know we live a completely charmed life because I have never, apart from my casual jobs we had at uni, but since the age of like 21,

we've never not worked with our best friends. Yeah. Like, we've never had to be. to turn up to a workplace where you're like, oh, great, Daryl's here. I hate him. I have to work with him. And it seems to be the gripe of my mates that do work in the environment, they do have a person that's just a P in the A. I mean, we had a situation back on our team where one of our team members asked to have another one fired because he didn't like him.

That's right. Back in the day, yes, we haven't enough water going. Have we talked about that before? Yeah, but I think we don't need to bring names back in there, but we know who we're talking about. Yeah, yeah. Just said, yeah, look, unfortunately, I've tried to get on with him, and I find him annoying. So could you let him go?

And we had to say, well, he's actually not employed by us. He just works here at the station. And we don't find the same thing annoying. Yeah. Yeah. So, my mate, he had a guy that every time we caught up for a beer, he'd be complaining about this guy, Dave. He's like, oh, God, Dave did this, Dave did that.

Dave's annoying. Dave never follows up, et cetera, et cetera. Dave got fired. Oh, it would be so happy. So I caught up with him and I said, hey mate, how things goes, Dave got fired. I was like, oh, fantastic. And he goes, yeah, not really. I said, why?

He goes, it's really put me on notice now that I'm not the worst. And I think I had a level of comfort being at work knowing that if there was anyone going to be fired, it was going to be Dave. He was the heat shield. He goes, it was actually, I'm actually now more anxious at work because there's no dunce in the office. If you were impalas in the wild and there was a notoriously slow and limpy impala, it'd always feel good because if you're like, next time the lions come, it's not me. Then when that guy got eaten, you'd be like, okay, now we've got to be on alert here. Because we've lost Steve, limpy Steve.

Now it could be any of us. It would be any of us. And so I said to him, so do you think that you're performing worse? He goes, yeah, I think I'm performing worse with the anxiety that I'm not better than anyone in the business. I said, well, do you think the company should employ someone just to be the worst to make other employees feel better about that performance? And he said, yeah, that'd be a good idea. And we wondered how that would work.

Come in. How's it going? Is this the position for the worst employee in the office? Yes, you're an hour late. Great, and I intend to be most days. Right. Will it be consistently an hour? Well, sometimes 20 minutes, but sometimes up to four hours.

You never know. Impressive start. Thank you. Will you tell people that you? you're going to be late? No. Will there be any explanation as to why you're late? I will usually just say it was a personal matter,

which just means no one can ask questions, and it makes them feel a bit awkward too. Very good. Now, the purpose of the job is to make others feel better about what they're doing. Yep. So that will require you to have a sloppy appearance. Can do.

To never meet deadlines. Absolutely not. To send passive aggressive emails. Yep. So are you going to note any of this down? No, no, I don't do notes. I usually just do stuff verbally. So then later on, when someone goes,

you didn't tell me about that. I'll go, yeah, we talked about this, and it makes them feel silly. So you don't leave a paper trail. Yeah, great. Now, this is the tough one. The boss plays golf. What do you think that means to you? That works well for me. I also play golf, so I can ladder it up with him when he's in town, and he'll usually take my side on disputes. Yep. I might also actually, sorry, further to that, if I ever go to a golf tournament, I'll buy him some specific merch, then I'll present it to him in front of the others, just to get a bit of favour. That's exactly the type of brown-nosing we need in the job. Done. Quick fire questions now.

Yep. Do you need a desk? Definitely, yes. Will you use it? No. Will you talk loudly across the office? Absolutely. Will you put your hand up for extra work?

Yes. Will you do any of that work? Never. Great. Are you open to feedback? Absolutely not. Will you shoot down ideas without offering solutions? Absolutely, yes.

Great. Will you gossip? Oh, all the time. Create factions of conflict. Yeah, that's fun. Get hung up on small things that slows down any team progression. I'm very, very nitpicky. Great.

Park in a space is not allocated to you? Well, I sort of feel like all spaces are allocated to me in a way. And finally, never once clean your dirty dishes or offer to unpack the office dishwasher. No, never have, never will. You know the sign I saw out there, you go, we don't have cleaning fairies in this office. I actually think there are cleaning fairies.

Looking forward to meeting them. I think you're perfect for the role. I think I am. Do you want to start at 9 a.m. tomorrow? Absolutely not. Could be in tomorrow, it could be the next day, but it certainly won't be 9 a.m. on any day. Thanks, man.

What was your name? Darrell. Don't care. He's going to be great. And I want to take your memory back. And Jack, come along as well. Okay. Because you were there.

Way back when we started playing, tell us someone we haven't thought of, we had a dud hat. Yes. Yes, I remember. A purple hat. Physiochremm. Physiochremm. And it was terrible. No one wanted the physiochremm hat.

And we, maybe we pushed it. We were like, this is the worst hat. It's the worst hat. Still to this day, the worst hat that I've ever come across. We just have a really low-fet hat. And it made us wonder whether they didn't. care about the company, or they put so much effort into the crim that the hat was an afterthought, which would make better sense.

Yeah, if you're a fan of physio crem that's used in sports and kind of physiotherapy settings, they choose to shun all traditional spelling because it's F-I-S-I-O instead of pH. And then C-R-E-N, C-R-E-N. Instead of cream. So what is it? It's a cream for physios. How do we say it? Physio-Crim.

So we would often refer to it as the world's number one crem. And I think here's a few, I went back through the archives and here's a few examples. Physio crem, world's number one sports crem, and world's number billion hat. That was a terrible hat. Yeah, the physio crem. Great crem, wonderful cream, terrible hat. What is physio crem, you ask? It's the world's number one pain relieving cream.

They have produced what can only be described as the absolute bottom of the barrel. If the crem is on top, this is from the bottom of the barrel. This is the Dregs. Stederman. Of the hat, of the hat world's most famous crem. I do write it, physio crem. Still, very bad hats. Physio crem.

They are the world's number one crem. The world's number 5,000 a half. Great crem. Great crem. Name a better crem. Have you ever used it? Physio crem? I've had it used on me by a physio.

I can't say I've bought Physio cram. No, I don't think I've used it. Again, in an episode with Giggie, like, just not sponsored. No. I mean, Physio crem, I had it on good a third. Sorry, I remember meeting someone that knew someone at head office going, what you've done for the crem is huge. I would have thought it was a negative thing.

Because when I'm in a physio and I see physio cram, all I can think is you do bad hats. That's not what they're trying to do. That doesn't bother their mission statement. It's not a two-pillar admission statement. They only care, I think, about muscle relief. Yeah, yeah. Here's the crazy thing I realized the other day.

we spent years and I've always said I've stood by our assertion that it's the world's number on crem because I didn't know of any other crems I couldn't think of another cream Jack I'm very annoyed at me for this I'm only a little bit angry at Jack for this and I'll give you a pass pseudo cream it's not pseudo cream you know the thing you put on babies for nappy rash

yes it's not pseudo cream It's pseudo cream. It was right. Like for anyone that's changed nabies like when babies get nappy eyes, it's like a pseudo cream on the bums. I mean, what do you spend in nappy world? Two years, a year and a half. We were definitely calling it pseudo cream though.

Always pseudo cream. Always pseudo cream. I was looking for a bit of pseudo cream the other night because it's like, we had something behind her knees, like an itchy thing. I was like, put some pseudo cream on it. I'm sure we still have a tub or something like rattling around the bathroom drawers and get it out. I'm like, well, I'll be damned.

It's actually crem. It's like all these years of thinking there was only one crem commercially available to us as Australian consumers. And physioCrem, just this complete free run of, they would have known. Yeah. This huge free run of just being known as the world's number one crem. So then I'm like, hang in a sec, what have we done? What have we done? We've been, we didn't look into this.

And you would have used studio using pseudocrem. Sudo crem five, six times a day. when you're in the nappy world. And you've had physiochremen on you once. Once, and I didn't buy it. Applied by someone else. Bought so much. It's like a Maltese's Maltese's situation.

We've just always thought it was cream. Anyway, so I go, how bad is the damage we've done here? Yes, there is another crem, and I didn't know about this crem. Maybe the other things we've said stack up. Maybe physio crem still could be the number one creme. Yeah. So do a bit of a deep dive. Now, first of all, I'm like, what other creams have we missed?

Good news is, according to my research, a little bit of chat on thinking mode. So don't just give me a quick answer. Yeah, yeah. 26 seconds of thinking, can't find any other creams. Outside of the pharmacy. Worldwide. Worldwide, in the pharmacy. Oh, so it's two crems.

Physiochreme, pseudo-crem. One relieves pain. One relieves itching. Yeah. Like, okay. I don't go into the details to chat and I go, listen, I've made a big error, but don't make me feel. feel better by been telling people that physiochrems and the more crumb.

I said, look, between the two of them, who's selling more units? Great. Thinking, thinking, thinking, does about 40 seconds of thinking. They're owned by various conglomerates. Yes. But it's like, look, even conservatively, physiochrems are kind of localized to Australia. Yeah. Sudo-crem is global.

I'm sorry, sorry. We have got it wrong. Pseudo-cram. This whole time was by far the world's number one crem. So we stubborn and we're going to keep, because, you know, we're living a world now where you can just say something enough and people believe it, or are we going to be mad enough? I think you've got to own up.

I think I agree. Except I think you've got a couple of mistakes. And I think it would be after all the free advertising, for the last 10 years that PhysioCrems got as the world's number one Krem. Now number two. They should do a pamphlet in the, so they don't have to change their packaging, but they should do a little.

They should do the retraction to be like, look, because they would know. If you're in a category of two Krems and you hear these guys calling you the number one Kremm, and you know for a fact you're not the number one cram, they would have known we're getting illegally branded. It's not on them. Let's make it on them. I think they should do a retraction and go like a product recall, but a slip just to go into the tube.

I know you're saying that, but I don't think it's upon them because they're, then anyone can say anything about a company and it's on the company to turn the of attraction or attraction in a pamphlet within their box. All right, well, I'll give them the opportunity to go, you knew full well what was going on. You chose to be crowned the world's number one crowned. They never reached out to us to correct it. We now know, PhysioCrem, does any spokesperson there want to come forward? Please contact the show and make a statement.

We'd love to read it out. Why didn't you pull us up on it? You damn well you weren't the number one. Damn, damn well. They might have thought you were going for a subjective number one. Like, to me, it's the world's number one crew. Inquirer. Send me an email.

Check. Ando, we get so many upset Andy's coming in, but occasionally... I just delete them. Yeah, no, you do. So I only see half. So I do say... Oh, apologies to those people. Send them twice, it would be my...

Send them three times and you're a chance to land on my side of the fence. What we should point out, though, is there is an catch system. Carly does review email. from both sides. She does. She's the only person gets to see both patis. So she's like the council.

Yep. You and I are neighbours, and we tend to toss things other side of the fence, but she comes past and really, neighbourhood watch, make sure that nothing's being missed. Just send them three times anyway.

We get some international ones from time to time. And I like to collate them because of the time difference, though. Very hard to get on time. I'd like to go, okay, reach back out to people and go, give us your upset Andy.

If you live not in the time zone we're recording this in Australia, we'd love it as a voice memo. Oh. Got a few times. We have an international edition of Upset Andy. It's neat and practical, because that's the way he likes it.

But what if it wasn't? Upset Andy. Now, we talked about doing an international version opener, but that would please you. Yeah, that wouldn't be. They would upset you. We do the normal opener, even though it doesn't fit the segment. Yeah, that's fair.

Got you? I mean, there was a please, Andy, for me the other day when we're doing your TV show, where involved me having a sponge with paint in it. And I yelled out my system to you both about how I had different colours and different corners to blend and I could flip the sponge around, etc. And I could see both of you just lost attention fading away rapidly.

Actually, I don't remember. But you both at the time went, great, mate, thanks heaps, with a thumbs up. And that was a morale boost at the time, but I realized that you guys didn't care. No, then I turned around. I was like, great, cool, I'm wasted time listening to that. and now have to go even faster and looser on what I'm doing. No time to think. Jack, you mentioned you've got one and I'll allow it because you have Dutch heritage.

Thank you. Or I could be representing Australia. This is Jack from the Netherlands, Andy. Hello, Andy. Hello. Does this upset you? I bought a cheaper alternative for my electric toothbrush heads online. And when they came, they didn't fit on the toothbrush properly.

Awesome. But I bet if you squashed them. If you squish them, they see them. still vibrate and you get maybe 30 or 40 seconds before they vibrate off. And I'm through my, now on my second toothbrush head of 12. No, no, that is at a huge upset. Yeah. You get 12 in a pack.

You got 12 in a pack. Yeah, for roughly the same price as the two pack of the branded version. I haven't looked through toothbrush too and you, Zoe buys the refill every now and again. Because I know when I'm on to the last head, I'll then have to remember to buy the other pack, which I see never happening. I'm more like the idea of having one spare in the bathroom. I will run that first one until it's like one bristle left, like a guy with a one hair comb over,

just rattling around in my mouth just so I don't have to change it. How do you guys go about shopping lists? I don't do one. Sometimes Zoe will send me a shopping list, and I, because she doesn't do it in the order, you walk through the aisles, I'm bouncing around all over the shopping center or over the supermarket. It's just known in our hands.

house that one to four items, 10% won't be got. But I'll get 30% bonus things that you were never expecting me to get. I'm in charge of refills. So anything that is refilled, toothbrush heads, bin bags, etc. Sponges, that's my job. And how do you go about remembering it? I'm actually pretty good, except for times where I try to buy the cheaper alternative and it doesn't. Yeah, how it added Yanker feel about the... She hates the toothbrush, because she's on the same toothbrush heads and she's hating squishing it on, where for me it's very easy. What about it a bit of blue tape? No, I wouldn't be strong enough.

Liquid nails? Yeah, that could work, but then hard to get off. That's a down-the-track problem. All right, here we go. International opposite Andy's. First, this is Jesse from the UK. O'hoie to the big three. It's Jesse calling from the UK.

I'm currently sitting in my car, which has broken down, so I thought I would use this time fruitfully to tell you about an annoy, Andy. That annoys me? I have three bank cards. each with a unique pin, but I can never remember which pin goes with which card. But this presents no problem to me

because each card allows you three attempts when you're entering your pin. And so inevitably one of the three put in is going to work with every single card. So happy days. No need to change this. And what a little bit of excitement to build into your day to go, oh, it's going to be a good day.

I got it on the first try. It seems like you've hit a little jackpot. I run the same, essentially the same thing with passwords. I got three different passwords that rotate, and I never know which one suits which account, but you're eventually going to get it. Oh, gosh, no, I don't like that. I'd be straight on the appropriate app corresponding to my bank

to make sure that I knew what pin it was. No one's got the time. This is Grace from Sweden. Could be Aussie and could be Swedish. Hey, Amish and Andy. It's Grace here, Australian living in Sweden. I've an upset Andy for you. So my boyfriend hates it when the towels on the back of the door

in the bathroom or in the kitchen fall off the hook. So he has cut a hole in every single towel that we own, including all the tea towels. So we don't have that problem anymore. No dramas. Don't hate it. Except I know full well, you do hate it because he's cut it rough for sure. He's cut it rough.

You would hem it. I would hem it. And even if you cut it smooth, it's going to fray. No, no. Not the way I cut. If you could do a punch, material punch, and then a hem. Is that a special tool, the material punch? Yeah, yeah, you've got material punch.

Like a whole punch. Yeah, like a whole punch. But there's ones for material. There's one for belts. Have you seen those ones that you've got a swivel? So much faster. I've tried to use a belt hole thing before and it's like, it hurts your hand and you're getting sweaty and it's getting frustrating.

You get a drill. You're not going to regret it. I don't want to put belthole punch people out of business. We had a similar thing the other day with Ruse, a hell of school jumper, a bit tied around the cuffs. And I was like, you know, because you do have that, you know, is that a hem? Cuff, I suppose, like that line of sewing around the hip, around the wrist.

And she's like, I don't like it. It's too tight. And I'm like, you got to wear your jumper. Just listen, come here. We have good scissors. You know the ones that can cut a chicken bone? And so I get them out of the knife block. Let's go, look.

No one's going to know about this. Just snip, snip, snip. Just cut that hem a little bit. Yeah. Just to let out the tension a little bit. Didn't quite work. But same principle. I mean, it eased it off a bit, but thenzo was like, what have you done to the jump?

Yeah. I mean, dark on dark, you can barely tell. I think if a player comfort, you can allow that. Yeah. Well, again, going back to my dad, he would do that, but then properly hem it. No time. Okay. Next one.

Jason. Jason from the US. Jason from New York. here. I've just turned 40, which means I'm at a phase of my life where I've got to take all sorts of vitamins and supplements and stuff. And it's a lot. It's a handful of pills. It's four different powders in four different glasses of water. And there's all these rules about like when you're supposed to take them. You're supposed to stagger them out across the day and eat before them or something. I don't know. I wasn't really listening. I'm busy man. Moving too fast. So what I do

every morning in the office kitchen is I just mix them all together and chug it down all at once. It's just a lot faster and more convenient. Unfortunately, it does give me mild but immediate diarrhea every single time, but that's okay. Off to the office bathroom, a quick squirt, and then I can get on with my day. Cost of doing business. Well, what does he mean? I'm well over 40 and I'm not taking anything. Well, I guess he's doctors, you know, this is doctor's orders. Yeah.

He's going for longevity here. but I do like that. I don't think the order is we need you do small amount of diarrhea every morning. I've fallen for the same trap. Like you get fed this thing to be like, hey, listen, if you want to, you know, live a long time. Starts now in your 40s. Absolutely the kind of guy that we'd have on these. But then you go, but then you buy, so you go, yes, I will do this.

And you buy a three months supply. And then on the third morning, you're like, wait a second, every day for the rest of my life. I'm going to spend my whole life taking this powder. I can't do this. I think I'm not doing this anymore. And then three months later, the next one arrives, because you realize you subscribe to save 30. Shit.

Now I've got six months minus three days worth, and I'll just put that in the very, very top shelf. Think about that when we move. Last one. Josie from the UK. Ahoy boys, Josie here and Aussie living in the UK. My upset Andy happened at my second job. Yes, very in touch, I know, working at a pub.

So one of my co-workers was asked to cut the live. lemons and limes into wedges, obviously to garnish the drinks. But I don't think he understood or knew what wedges were because as I went to grab one from the tub during rush hour, I noticed they were literally all cut in just randomly shaped large and small chunks, like picture two-thirds of a lemon cut into a rectangle. I'm usually fast and loose, but I had a hard time. I'm convincing most customers that this was an acceptable addition to their drink. Love the pod.

It's a nice taste of home to listen to, but what would be even better is an old mate's pub in London. I would definitely love to work there and cut lemons and limes evenly. You mate won't get employed. Thanks, Josie. What a legend. She attached to picture. That does bother me.

That does bother me. Look at this. It looks like the way you would cut it if you were using the community. communal juicer at an airport lounge. I don't even, I actually feel like cutting it that different requires effort. I was like, someone's, it's, it reminded me of like it's the variety of pieces you get in Tetris. You go, okay, well, it's always four squares, but how many combinations. Everything is a unique shape.

How many combinations give it for the four squares? Like, it's always the maximum amount of shape variations you could make out of a lemon. It is a budget holiday puzzle that your dad would give to you and say recreate the lemon. If COVID had gone on for another year, that would have been like, oh, guys, we're playing Lemon Quest again. Now make it back up into a lemon. Look, I know I said we're going to leave this lie for a bit,

but there's been some developments in Hames Hives in the bee-world, beekeeping world, largely. So has any developments in Hames Hives? Yes. Or just a development in the beekeeping world that you're going to tell us about, and you're going to say it affects hames hives, even though you've done nothing.

A bit of both. Okay. Have a huge announcement. Remind me not to let this episode finish without telling you about the huge announcement. Okay. Great one. Huge announcement will be at the end of this update.

Yep. Great. Celebrity beekeeping seems to be booming. I think we mentioned last time that... Did you mention this last time? Yeah, Ryan Maloney, Totey. Barnsy? Do I tell you about Barnsy?

You told us about it. Guess who else is it? Buddy Franklin. Really? I think that was in the last update as well. No, I don't think Buddy's fresh. And guess who else is in? I'm pretty sure Buddy was in the last update.

Nicole Richie. They're not even. Nicole Richie just joined the beekeeping world. Yeah, okay. That's a new one. So I'm just tracking. So far one bit of information isn't you? Just saying Nicole Richie,

nice to have someone who's not bee like, I think, you know, Hames Hives, Blake's bees, Barnesys B's bees. Like anyone with a bee in their name, it just seems very tempting. Nicole Ritchie, you believe her, because it's not an. immediate brand.

It's not immediately catchy. Are they all selling honey or some of them are just keeping bees privately? These are all commercial operations, I believe. There's two big announcements for Hames Hives. Plus the huge announcement? Oh, sorry, one of them's, I'm obviously categorizing a huge announcement as it's big. Okay. Do you want the biggest?

The biggest announcement or do you're the second biggest? Have we heard of them? Have we heard? 75% of it before and what have your previous announcements? Like, just this new one we just had? No. Okay. Build up to it.

Give us the not as big one and finish with the huge. Give us the big and we'll finish with the huge. Okay. Got a legitimate email that came to my side of the fence. I can only imagine how many have been coming to your side of the fence that have not passed on. I would pass them on, but there's a very small flow. Well, I just know as someone's the same amount of honey that you're creating. That's about the flow speed.

Actually, had a suggestion from someone which I don't. don't mind for when we do later on in the year, the price is correct. Someone said, would it be possible to do a VIP section for people that are subscribed to Hames Hive? So maybe I could have five seats that I could. No, no, I remember missing streams. We've talked about this. Don't mix the stream.

What if I paid as a sponsor? Yeah, maybe. Yeah, he can. Yeah, and he immediately's going to $1 million. Well, we need us. You do need some sponsorship. So we'll see if Hames Hive could afford. to sponsor one or two seats in the audience

and then give that to a hive member. Okay. I'm sensing some reluctance there, but that's nothing new on the beekeeping front. Got a, got contacted by someone who said, please don't use my name. Okay. But I am a category manager

slash purchasing manager, Australia-wide for Woolworths, watching Hames Hives closely. Sorry, Coles. Cole. So you don't even know. So you know. So the answer.

Coles or Woolworth? It's from goals. You can only imagine the producers outside yell colds. It doesn't matter. Well, I'm not using their names. So you can only imagine that as soon as cold, either or as soon as someone else hears this, I'll be like. Of course they are. All they're using you, you and this show is an opportunity to get a mention on the show.

Well, we're back by because I mentioned the competitor. And that's just, do you want to do business with us? Yeah. That's how we roll. Okay, cool. Once the honey starts flowing, just interesting to know that already shelf space has been. being made for the honey. Well, what have they said?

She said we're watching very closely. Is that one of the big announcements? That is a big announcement. Jack, that's a potential Australia-wide deal. Yeah, but it hasn't promised anything. Yeah. How can you, well, I think watching closely is a great first step. I mean, do you know how much output you have to do to service, like, a major supermarket?

You know what? You know what? You are not in the mood. You are not in the mood for the biggest announcement. You know what? I'm not even going to tell you the biggest announcement because you're not in the mood. Give us a clue.

You're not in the mood. I'm sorry, can we have it? No, it's marketing-based and you don't care and we're ending the show. I will tell the Hames-Hives community who we have on a mailing list in their own time and you will be left out of this exciting adults. Come on.

What do we need to do to do? We're out of time for the episode. We're out of time for the episode. Hit the time. Ding, ding, ding. You don't have a huge announcement. I do have a huge announcement. I can't really say it.

He doesn't have one of the chat. I probably is better. I don't want to give the competitors, my competitors a jump on this. Nicole Ritchie. Go ahead and Buddy Franklin. I don't want buddy. I don't want Barzie knowing about this because I'm going to catch him flat-footed. But we'll come back to this app.

You'll see the thing when we launch the honey. Oh, that's easy to retrofit though. You'll see the thing we've launched the honey and you go, that's pretty brilliant, Ham. Is that the thing you were talking about back in July? Give us the initial. initials of what you're talking about now. B. Brett,

have a think of an idea and then go, that's what I was talking about, because I'm not convinced you have an idea. This is, I can't actually think of a better two words for this, but it is B.S. It's not B S, but it is. B.

The first word is B. The second word is S. We'll come back to and you'll go, brilliant. Was that what you're talking about? I'm sorry we get you in the wrong mood. Well, I'm always excited about the honey. I'm just sad to see that you guys continue to resist this potentially million-dollar idea.

I've got to get me one of those bells. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamish and Andy.com.