Hamish & Andy - 343 - ⁠Slow Down the Matcha

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

Andy reports back after encouraging Bec to slow down her matcha routine and embrace a more formal ritual. The boys investigate a seemingly unbelievable ad starring Sydney Swans star Isaac Heeney, Jack finally delivers an update on the long-awaited Hamish & Andy board game, and Hame's Hives returns with a genuine buzz. 1. Bec is rushing her matcha 2. Jack’s H&A board game progress 3. Isaac Heneney’s completely realistic ad 4. Hame’s Hives cocktail party 

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. Ahoy to me Theo fighter. Hayish? Well, he started it.

And so I'm not as you're going to let Theo run his mouth. You step to me, Theo. You're going to get fists thrown at you. Ahoy to me Roto Fighter. Same thing Roto was talking up to me. Just because we seem like nice guys. You just can't keep stepping to us. This may give it more of a thing.

Chlorophyter is me. Oh yeah. Are we poor cleaning ingredients? Ooh. You, oh, we kill germs maybe. You're not killing the germs. Are we within the body? Trump hated this happening to him a couple of months.

ago. It was a great embarrassment and he suggested that it was sabotage and that it was curated by biologists. Oh, this is tough. Oh, no.

Did he get sick of it? Aging? No, it was something that he spent a lot of money upgrading in Washington, D.C. His ballroom. Oh, it's the outpull. So is the D.C. reflecting pool.

Yeah. Oh, the reflecting pool, yes. Well, is it pool cleaning chemicals? We are types of algae. We have the three. Algae. We are the three major classifications of algae. You're a brown algae ham.

You're a red one, Jack, and I'm a green algae. A chloroform. Or chlorophyll. I think the fighter was the threat. Like, you don't think of algae as fighting anything. No, we thought we were the ingredients to kill the algae, if anything. Yeah, that's true. No, different type of fighter.

P-H-Y-T-A. You should have pronounced it a bit differently. No worries. We also to Jenna, who went to hamish-dandy.com to let us know what she's up to. Hey guys, gusto to the two big boys and one little boy. This is Jenna here from Sydney. I was hoping you could help me out with something. I have some family members and particularly a brother-in-law, Luke,

who loves to listen to your pod. And I thought, what a better way to announce something exciting that's happening in my life. So here goes to the family and to Luke. I'm pregnant. I'm 11 weeks at the moment and very excited. Probably that 21 by now. This podcast is getting me through some rough morning sickness days. But guys, I'd really love to announce this before the baby's born.

So we'll see if it takes longer than seven months to upload. Otherwise, there's going to be quite a surprise for the family. I think. Thanks so much, guys. I'd be. Love you too. Unless that was your family. Gets, good to hear, love them.

I think it was for her family. I don't know. Because she, that last bit was for us about the upload speed. So I feel like she'd changed. She was addressing now the team. I think that surprise will have remained. I've fast-tracked that one through the system. Well done.

The sub one year upload speed. What a lucky duck. Guys, last week, Hame, you raised a challenge. We're doing the group of threes at the top of the show. and if people who might remember, it was the utensils, the three main utensils used for a matcher tea,

being the bowl and the funny little whisk, the chashen or someone, something like that. And the scoop? And the scoop there, yes, the spoon, yes. And I was saying that Beck uses, does her tea every day,

she makes it. And you were saying, hey, in Japan. Yeah, we've been to a traditional marcher ceremony, much. It's like a green tea ceremony, which is the same. And, you know, you put the powder in and you whisk it. But in Japan, or the ceremony we went to in the hotel foyer, where they ran the complementary traditional experience, we learned all about the stages of the ceremony.

And really, it's the opposite of, if you're doing it in the morning, it's the opposite of how I would run my coffee ceremony, which is like harassing the machine to speed up, like banging it, like going as fast as you can. Yes. It's in Japan and traditional Japanese culture, the way I remember it, the macheteering, you take your time, you're all kneeling. And as the host, one of the key steps, yes, was handing out bowls. And as a guest, it's very polite to what's required. It's part of the tradition to comment on the bowl. Yes.

And you chat about it. The host might have a fun story about the bowl. Just all the things you don't see happening in most kitchens of a morning as you're racing to kind of, yeah, make the school lunches, get everyone out the door. Oh, wow, anco mugs. Yes, I was at Westfield, and I remembered that we beat in mugs. Wonderful. Did you get a boost? I did not.

I got a bubble tea. What a wonderful story. Yes. Oh, yours is also an anco mug. Very similar to. So the suggestion was made by me that I think Beck is rushing her marcher. And the suggestion was made by you ham to tell her that in the throes and boarding. She encouraged her to do a more formal ritual.

So she enjoys it. the marcher more and respects the journey. Yes. So I did attempt that while recording. I mean, I had it lined up for one day, but she was in a mood. And so I scurried away, scurried away in fear. Yes. This is very, I mean, you don't even marriage yet.

Yeah, but we don't. We all know. You're so ready for the marriage. Yes. But then I came back the next day. I was like, oh, this is a better day for it. So she was getting her marcher. We should point out just as by way of background,

Henry sometimes has an allergy where she itches. Apparently she's allergic to grass, which is bloody annoying because there's plenty of other. Dogs love grass. Yeah, we love it. And it's very difficult to tell the dog what it's allergic to, I imagine. Yeah, yeah. Like you can't go, if you've got a kid,

you can be like, well, you've got to be very careful about peanuts and they'll understand and their teachers will understand all that. Dog don't care. Yeah, a dog doesn't care. So often Henry will, Itch through the night or through the day. And I coined a phrase itchy one. So she is like a Japanese kind of nickname for her.

I didn't know if we do that anymore, but it's sort of in the 12th man category. I think that's a line ball. So itchy one. So what you're hearing is the start of a conversation where I was explaining to Beck that Henry was itchy last night and we both started. saying itchy one. Right. You're doing the traditional greeting for the dog.

As she goes into making her marcher. Okay, so here we go. Gotcha. That's what, little itchy one there. Itchy one. Itchy one. Itchy one. She was itchy.

She was itchy one. Itchy one. Itchy one had her dumplings yesterday and then peeped and duck. Yeah. Wait. Wait. Wow. Can we stop there?

What? I don't think of sorry. I don't have to live around this. First of all, boy, do you love the nickname. Second of all, she had peaking duck dumplings. I'm sorry, did she turn into a human and was having her 16th birthday? Whoa. Fancy one.

Surely she ate dog food and you just pretend like, here's your peaking duck, Henry. Are you joking? We went for a long walk to get yam chab and she was there with us. Yeah, and she did that. But that's a human restaurant. She didn't sit up at the table. She actually did sit up for a bit. It was outside, but yes.

Oh, my God. And we had a spare little bit of duck, and she didn't make the pancake for her, and, like, put the plum sauce on. She should have just been gnawing the carcass out the back like a normal dog. Anyway, yes. Wow.

And she had one for nothing. At Yom Char, just, people don't need to be reminded of this. But obviously, when you get the menu that they rapidly stamp or tick, you start with the standard dim sum special. Peking duck is down in the lost touch region where they actually have to write down Peking duck. Peking duck for a dog. It was a little bit of duck. It was a little bit of extra bit of duck. Oh my God, it probably goes on an ancient Chinese like scroll or something that they bring to the table.

That's incredible. There was, you always think you're going to eat more dumplings than you are. We over-ordered on dumplings, that's this the natural want when you go for yum chard. I get them away. Yeah, so there was one prawn dumpling left over that... I know we're not talking about this, but since we are, the, my natural, you know, you think at yum, most yum chas, most run-of-the-mill yum chas, I know you can get some outliers who do it very well, but you go to a standard yum chai.

You think there are more dim sum available in the universe of dim sum than there are. So you always start with prawn argale. They're the classics. Everyone loves prawn, R gale. Yeah. Then the trollies come around and you try a few things. I always hit in the jumpover. I go, you know what, just bring back the prawns.

Exactly. Like, we're chasing it. What are we doing? We're chasing it with these other ones. And I feel sorry for the cart lady who has all the things that aren't a dumpling. Yeah, we're not doing chicken feed. We did it as a joke. Bring back the prawn hug out.

She's just doing laps and laps without getting any takers. Steam barn to front hunk out. We're basic. Just give us the good stuff. Anyway, we've got passed. Okay, so sorry. Let's just try. Can we pick this up again?

Okay, continue. I'm going to essentially, she's just, yes. We're about to find out that she's now gone and picked a live lobster from the tank. And Beck is over near the stove. You can hear she's, I think you would have heard the... Was that her heating the water? Water going in, yeah. And I think she's getting ready to fire up the stove because she puts a stove.

So can I just say as an outsider peeking into the inner workings of the secret recordings of your kitchen? This sounds like she's in a great mood. Yeah. So you're making your marcher? Yeah. I was reading the other day about marcher. Yeah. And I think you rush making the marcher.

I'm in. I think you, you just, it's meant to be like a Japanese ritual or something. You never watched, you, you never watched me, make my marcher. I haven't watched you make your marcher. All I'm saying is, if you're so into it. I think you're rushing. I think you've got no idea what he's not doing that. I do.

So you're hearing a man was going to press the point and then retreat, scurried off again. So I went, I think I, anyway. I think I do. I think I know what I read. Where did you read it? Okay, well, I'm just vaguely, I'm remembering third hand what Hamish remembers from the hotel lobby three years ago.

Which is never trust. But then I did have the confidence to go back and press her because I remembered. I scarred away and then I remember it. I was like, hang on. It was the complimenting of the bowl that I thought was the important part. Tell the story of the bowl. Okay, so we pick it back up.

What do you know? What's involved? What's involved? Well, you... Firstly, the bowl you put it in, you meant to... As far as the ritual goes, you're meant to actually hold the bowl and say something nice about the bowl. I strain it.

You just rush it a bit. Good. What are you swelting about? I don't. You meant to hold the bowl and say something nice about the bowl. Yep. Where is my milk fruffet thing? Down there.

You always put it in the spot. No, don't I put it in a T spot. Well, why wouldn't it be with the teas? It's a tiny pot. It's a pot. Well, he eats for teas. No, it's milk. Okay.

We'll say something nice about the pot. She's offending your Japanese her. Say something nice about the pot or I can't let you drink fat. You're not doing it properly. I feel like you rushed it, to be honest. I think it was the request. He wasn't confident. Always.

It wasn't. Cause it's not confident, Jack. I'm about to. Unarmed. You didn't have any of the reasons to tell you. It's part of the tradition. Maybe we should serve it to each other. Maybe you'll get more out of it this way.

I think you just came back to going, where you're rushing it. What do you mean? I just think you're rushing it. I mean, you couldn't really back it up. That was the tough part. Well, yeah, I was petrified. As I mean, you guys always criticise the way that I bring these things up, but you'd be scarring away from your lives.

You walk out of here and go, I'm going to record back. I'm going to get it tomorrow. I'm going to get it. And then in there, you're like, hey. Served it with an arrest warrant. And it's like, where's your evidence? I don't know.

You're just under arrest. I'm just, that's what everyone's saying, that you're under arrest. I'm just saying everyone at the courthouse is like, I need to go away and have a think about it. I'll get back to you on the charges. Guys, you will be shocked that over the last few weeks, I have made progress on the Hamish and Andy board game

a full year ahead of its release date. More. I am shocked. And I thought the Haymes Hives update coming up with the most shocking news of today. It's in very primitive stages, I will say. Of course, of course. Caviour, caveat, caveat, caveat. Hang on.

So where we got to last was, Heyman, I think we voiced that we weren't so keen on the original concept. The first concept I pitched was called Common Manlandia. And the idea of the game was too high concept. If you play a lot of board games, you'd be used to these games that have heaps of characters, heaps of cards and powers that you can pull. Not for me.

But it's a lot. And I think that's what we said last time. We said we want the kind of game where if you bought it away on a holiday. You're like, hey guys, let's play this. And everyone goes, oh yeah, I'll give that a crack. And it's like cards of humanity level of difficulty. Yeah. Funny you should say.

The game has been condensed from the big board that I originally imagined into a card game. Great version. of it that is a lot simpler than the many ideas that I originally had. So it will be played hopefully by a broader amount of people, enjoyed by more fans of the show. Do you have to know the show to understand the game? That's what we're hoping not to,

that you can play it and be a fan of the show and go, oh, this is a nod to the show, but if you've never heard the show, you can enjoy it equally. Still a fun game. Yeah, great. What? Can you give us an insight, about from just changing the format?

of how big the game is. I can't even tell you too much about how the game works. Because you haven't invented it? No, well, that's where enters a guy will call Brisbane Ben. His name's Ben and he's from Brisbane. Oh, this stinks. No, no, no, it doesn't stink. Someone's done this for him.

No, we're working collaboratively on. Hey, Jack, did you actually think of doing a car game? Do you think of doing a card game? Because I thought it could be a bit like this. You're not going to believe this. I had the exact idea as I was reading your email. I'm trying to do a bit of that because at the moment, I don't want Ben to think that this is fully his idea.

But it is in the lost touch world. Common Man Landia was built on. Hang on, let's go back to the splits of like, let's be honest, how much of this is Ben's idea and how much it is yours. Well, it has definitely flavors of the original board game I pitched. But he, this version... Which was based on content from this show. Yeah.

Pitched, pinched, pinched. whatever. Ben's idea extends the world that I had in my head. Wow. And it's mostly his idea. Okay. Yeah.

Because I can't. Don't say that on the record. Do you need to do it? Is this a key to it or delete it? You're surrendering the IP. Well, I've noticed he's used like, when I'm chatting to him back and forth, he keeps using a lot of language. Because I thought it was like our game that we were working on together.

It was my. original vision, just updated onto cards. But he keeps using language like, oh, my game, my game, this, my game, that. He stole it. My version of it is this. Because it's based on this show, he's hoping for you to sign off on it. So he just goes, I made a board campaigns on Hamish and Andy's podcast, and that's it. So I'm battling that with a lot of...

Interesting. How, like, I want our board game to be this. When we do this, we will do this. And how is he responding to you? that. Yeah, he keeps using language like, yeah, yeah, no, that's good. Like, your, your original idea is different to my idea because, and then again, I see that and go like, yeah, but it's our, isn't it ours? Anyway, he's coming. Isn't it ours? Because I'd prefer that outcome. I would really like it. Isn't it ours? Because if it's ours, that really presents me with a

wonderful path, which is, I can say I did this, and I haven't. I didn't have to do any of the yucky work, but I still get to take the credit. So what about it else? And it would be, it is collaborative, and it would be even more so if we're in the same city, we're not. So he's even been doing things like, oh, I did a playtest with my friends. How many times he caught up? One Zoom, three messages.

Okay. So the play test he's done with his friends. Message change? Changed? Message change. I was three messages. Not just three messages. Hey, mate, this is Jack.

Oh, great, Jake. Nice to meet you. Yeah, nice to meet you. too. Anyway, which you could do, game going. Remember, owls. Can I just ask, Jack, when he did this play test,

what materials did he use? Did you both develop those materials? Or is he using materials he developed? He hasn't developed the cards yet. He's just written them out on paper. But he's done some content. Yeah, he's done the work.

I actually said, hold up on doing all the cards. If you have, If you do it, now I've got no claim to this idea. Wait, wait, wait, let me, before you, God damn it, before you click on send for this album, let me put some drums on the back. That's why it's our album.

So, Ben, is flying to Melbourne in a couple of weekends time. At his expense? At his expense. Okay, so more of a claim that he'd have that he's spent money developing this. But I'm hosting it at my house, so equal there. Okay. because I'll, you know, put on paper or whatever. What's that costing you?

Well, it's the venue. Venue hire. Can I just, just on a completely separate matter, how much does it cost to hire your house? Because I think of having a function. I've got an important small meeting coming up. I don't like the book, Jacks. I think you're doing company retreat.

Just some brainstorming for the animation. Is it okay if we could buy it? And you would get mates rights, obviously. Okay, great. What's the right? You really don't want to go back to work. Any revenue stream possible. $1,000 for the weekend.

Okay. Are you still there? More if you want to use the sauna. Okay. How much more? $50 a head. Okay. Okay.

Are you still at the house? My beach house and didn't leave a gift. This is the mates, right? I was thinking of leaving a present, but it seemed to be. That's on the top. Okay. We are getting off track. We are.

What I need. So Ben is coming to Melbourne so that we can do a play test in person. Because I said, I can't understand all that's going on with the cards. I need to see it in person. So we need some play testers to come over and play the game. Now, I can invite some friends, but I thought maybe it's a good opportunity to get some Hamish and Andy fans there as well. It would be good to have a blend of non-fans because we do need a test for the fact that it's...

I think you should, you know, maybe just go through the emails and we'll grab a few people from that. But you should also have some people that have no idea of the show. Yeah, okay, I can organise some people that don't have an idea of the show. And then maybe just two or three people in Melbourne would be easy, like don't fly them in or anything. Yep. To play test the version of the game. And we might find out that it's not good and this isn't it and we go back to the drawing board. And if you think you should have a difficult conversation with Ben before this about the actual percentage speak.

Because remember, don't Andy and I get it. 50%? Is that what we negotiated? I can't remember what's negotiated. Well, we just assume equal thirds, wouldn't you assume? No, I think we made you the generous offer of going, we'll take 50%, and this is back when you were going to do the work. Like, I'm 25, and he's 35, and you're 50.

I don't remember that. I'd take that. He'll take that. I don't remember that. We're still getting 50, but now it sounds like you've got to split your 50% with Ben. I feel like it should be a third, a third of third. What if we go quarter, quarter, quarter, and Brisbane Ben can have some. We don't know this.

You're just farming out the work to him. All I'm saying is you were commissioned the job. So it'll be out of your split that his split comes. That's probably fair. Okay. I forgot to tell you about his credentials. He's made games before. That's why I picked it.

Because lots of people came through with their ideas for games. And they were lots of good ideas came in. But he said, I've actually made games and been a game tester for some of the most famous games of all time. I'm sure he's great. I think I'm just getting my head around the fact. that this whole thing started, I think nearly a year ago, with you saying, I love games and I'd love the opportunity to create my own one. You came up with a title, hit a creative jam,

someone else has come up with the game, and now you are racing after their coat tails to leap and grab on, like T-1000 in the Terminator movies when he jumps on the back of the car with sword arms. I think we'll find when he's in Melbourne. I'm just not a Zoom person. I don't like collaborating over Zoom. In person... It'll come together.

It will come together and we'll have, we'll feel like we close. Do you think he has, though, over the game? How much do you think he feels he has? Because I think that's an important thing to kind of tick off, don't you? Should I message him? No, that's... I don't know, man. I mean, this is your project, but it seems like you've got a guy here that keeps saying it's his idea.

All it is. And you're hoping to kind of cut the amount. It'll come out of your third. That's... So I have to do my own negotiation. You can do your own negotiations up to you. And then also, if you do have this. play test and the game is no good, is it still ours?

Oh, no, then he would be, then we would say, thanks for your time, Ben, and I'd go to the next email or come up with an idea myself. So it's no longer ours. It's back to being here. It's ours upside only. Obviously, upside only, it's ours. What's it called at the moment? Is he calling it Common Manlandia?

No, we're just going to call it must be nice because this idea is the same. Common Manlandia, you were trying to not lose touch. Yeah, no, no. That was the only what piece of content they were ever heard was the title, but you've lost that. Yeah. It came up with Must Be Nice. The idea of not losing touch in the game, that theme has carried over into Must Be Nice, the card game.

Into his idea. Into our idea. Sorry, yep. Who suggested, let's call it Must Be Nice? That was his idea. And he actually said, oh, funny that I thought of this idea before I heard you talk about common manlandia, which we could never verify. whether that's true.

It sounds like you've got someone quite feisterly pursuing ownership of this. Jack, good luck. Good luck with the play testing, but also good luck with the negotiation. Negotiate first, do you think? Up to you, mate. No, wait until it's a hit, then go back and go, no, sorry, we never talked about this, but I don't think you should have any of this. This show, we pride ourselves being at top of our game on a few things.

One is if we see an ad that's a little bit off or a little bit unrealistic, we'll look into it, weren't we? We're the ombudsman. Because I don't know of advertising. Does advertising have an ombudsman? I don't think so. I mean, they have like regulatory standards that they have to meet, but I don't think that pertains to errors in just ads that are meant to often look like regular life,

and you're like, that'll never happen. A lot of the time it's us. I was actually reminded of this yesterday. It was a sort of similar thing. Remember when we did the investigation into, have you been, were you a child involved in a private school billboard or marketing campaign? We saw that guy,

there was a photo of a guy coming so far out of the water, playing water polo. You could almost see Speedos a level of thrust that is impossible at Olympic level. No, so he really jumped off the... So we've gone in and either put a platform underneath. I've just shot it in the show. shallow end to go, look at our strong boys.

Would you like your son be such a strong boy? And he's also probably learning. But you know, you've got to have strong legs, strong mind. Boy, a lot of those gave in. So yeah, similar thing. Alert listener John brought this ad to my attention. I've printed it out. I've placed it both in front of you.

You can turn it over. So it's not a TV ad. No, it's a print ad. Oh, it's actually online. Straight away. Straight away. See it. To describe it to people at home,

it's for a Phillips countertop water filter. It involves AFL footballer, star Sydney Swans player Isaac Heaney. Yep. He's actually being... He's happily using it. Yeah, who's actually been in one of our other ad investigations because he was the man

that took a mark on Christian Petracker for Colgate. Yes, and we wondered whether there was a conversation between him who would be taking the market and who would be getting... Obviously, you know, superstars, all Australian players say, like, did you know who was getting used as the... step ladder.

You've never got to the bad one with that one. You assume his agent's gone, yep, that's a can of worms when you're in an ad with a different AFL player because one of you's going to be in the alpha dog position, one won't be. Yeah. So his manager's obviously gone before he's done this ad. Let's stay away for those. Heady filling up his water from the Phillips water thing. And we'll get into it in a sec, because there's a lot of other elements you don't want

to talk about. But he's obviously gone. Now, it's not two players trying to battle for the spout of the water filler, is it? I've had some problems. You can run into problems here. Is it just one man filling up one bottle? Yes, it is. Okay, yeah, he'll do it.

He'll love that. So, to describe it for everybody, Isaac Heaney is shirtless, which is a great thirst trap because he is well-built. I mean, he's a very athletic man, so, you know, get your pound of flesh, if you need your Phillips.

And he is using the Phillips countertop water purifier. He's got his drink bottle underneath it. But the interesting part is he's also carrying a surfboard. He's got a surfboard in the kitchen. So I suppose the question came up is like, do you think he's having a drink on his way to a surf? Yep. And he's already got his boards.

None of it makes sense. No scenario here. It makes any sense because he's in the kitchen. Looks like in an apartment, because you can see that that has to be the front door in the background because it's got the dead lock on it. It's like that runs a really tight security throughout the internals of his house. Yes.

But I think it's more the front door. So he's got the water filter taking up too much bench space, to be honest. Yes. Just in the middle of a bench. Yeah. Of course, we know it's opposed for the ad. But you wouldn't put it there. Okay, let's start it with that.

He obviously would. He was going to put it smack bang in the centre. It's an island bench top. Yep. And he's put it in the middle of the island bench. Nothing else can be used. Nothing else can be used. But also on a 45 degree angle, which is clearly so you can see the Phillips logo.

But again, they were having a nightmare. with the composition of this ad too, because if you can picture this, and I know we're describing a visual, so to open him up together, because obviously you'd go right hand onto the water. Yes. He's got his left hand,

so his body can be opened up to the camera, so he can see his abs and he can see his musculature across the top of his body. But he's now able to go sort of like a backhand tilt into the water. So it's not a natural way to do it with your left hand anyway. But if you were holding a surfboard in your right hand, You would have to go that way. I guess you'd have to do that with your surfboard.

Yes. So the question is... Do you think he's on his way for a surf? Or do you think he's come back after? No, neither work, because I'm not a surfer, but I know enough people that have surfboards in their apartments. Surfboard either lives on the porch or very close to the front door. Surfboard is not often taken into the depths of the house.

Might live in the carport, might live around the back or whatever. So true. I just unbiasing. I text Mick Fanning. Okay, great. Because here's the only thing that would work. That spot next to the front door might be where you leave your surfboard. Your board, yeah.

He might have got the surfboard under his arm and it's in a comfy. Again, I'm not a surfer, but I assume they're kind of annoying to carry. But once you've got it well balanced, maybe you enjoy, you go, I'm not going to put this down because I've got it in the sweet spot. It's not tipping forward. It's not tipping back. He might have gone, oh, actually, I forgot to have my water. I didn't go back into the kitchen.

But you just worry with a surfboard. You wouldn't with a certainly, it's a tight stuff over. Only if he's had difficulty carrying the board before. Look, it's a tight quest apart, there's no way you can walk around. You know how much difficulty he's had carrying the board before. The problem with this theory is, not to shoot down my own theory. It looks like a short board, which would be easy to carry.

So if he had a long board, I can imagine they're a nightmare to carry. And so if you did find a nice balance tipping point under your right arm, I can see that you wouldn't want to give that up. But I still think you'd put it down to go and use the filter. Yes. Anyway, what did you say? Mix, I said, I'm biased, I didn't want to show him the ad yet. I just said, hey, mate, have you ever taken your surfboard into the kitchen?

Ever. Yeah. Anyway, I try to avoid it. Yep. I wrote back, no, but, yeah. Could it happen. Have you ever done it? If you were really thirsty.

Have you ever done it? What if you're on, what if you, what if you were in a situation? situation with your coach had made you promise to drink what looks like four to five hundred mills of water before every surf. Yeah. He said no. Now, I mean, that's not to say that he's the same as every other surfer. He's just the world's best at a point in time.

So that's, so then I'm thinking, okay. I mean, I've got to throw one more thing out too on the ad. Again, they've gone, we want him topless and they've gone, well, if he's just in his undies, this is, this is an ad. This is nothing to do with being top of us. We have to give him. the surfboard to justify the toplessness. That's what I'd have done.

The way they've got it, the surfboard's angled down, it just goes across his, for people that are into this kind of, into the anatomy of the body. Yeah. It just intersects, the line of the surfboard, goes from under his right armpit,

cross his chest, comes down under his left oblique. But you see no board short. No. So once you start imagining his mood, you can't actually get it out. They did need. He did show a peak of board short. Because now it looks like he's off for a nude surf. Because he's also not in a wedding.

Like if he's ready to go out the door, don't you get in your wetsuit? No. But he might be surfing, and you normally have a rashy, but he might be surfing up north where you don't require a wedding. But we know he's a Sydney Swanspires, so this has to be in Sydney.

Yes, unless he's taken his water purifier on his trips to play golf post. Yeah, yeah. And that's why he's in the apartment. You're going to love, you're going to love, War of Purify so much, you'll take him to an Airbnb in cans. Yep.

I don't think he could have returned from a surf. No, he's got dry hair. Dry hair. Dry body. Dry board. Dry board. The hair's too good. I then went on the website, had a good look around.

As soon as he doesn't have the board, he's got his shirt back on. So for other commercial promo picks. So you ride your right, ham. they're like, they would have had a situation where they're like, well, we can't just have him shirtless. They're like, we want him to be using the product. We can't get him getting out of the shower. It doesn't make sense for this water purified to be in the bathroom. Yeah.

We can't just have him in track suit pants with his top off, even though that's what we want. And, but we have to have the device in the most inconvenient spot in the kitchen. I mean, a beach towel could have done it if he just had a beach towel under his arms. Like, I'm on the way out to the beach because then you're in boardies. but can't wrap it around. And more likely you would carry it through the kitchen on your way to get some water on your way out. I feel like a beach tower could have done it.

I wonder how much of the backstory Isaac is filled in on. Like, does he question it? Does he get here and go, what am I meant to be doing? We've all been on, you know, the tricky thing about a photo shoot, when you turn up like this in there, everyone's kind of like freestyling it. Yeah. If you're not used to that environment and there's 10 people, and you've gone, he's realistically probably going to look,

I've got an hour. Yeah. So they've got, you know, you do lighting, you do hair and makeup, like everything's ready. By the time you're on set, he's already looking at the watch. We doesn't have one on. So, but he's looking at the oven clock, which would be nearby, going, oh, my God, I've got 18 minutes left. Yeah. So when someone starts imagining things like, let's just give him a surfboard,

most of the time you're like, yeah, sure. Just to hurry a lot. Yeah, we love it. When you ask the opinions, it's 10 to 1 generally, isn't it? We've been in that situation where you're like, are you sure this is. George should be like this and there's 10 people behind the camera go, yeah, it's awesome. It's good. I don't think I would ever get the surfboard and come back into the kitchen.

No, no, it looks awesome. It's great to see the shot. Looks so good. Okay. Look, I, you know it wouldn't bring a Hames Hives update to the table unless there was significant movement. Another genuine Hames Hives update. Well, we're still waiting for the huge announcement is where you left it last time.

No, you didn't deserve the huge announcement. What happened? Remember he said It was just like this, the end of the show. And he said, I've got a big announcement and a huge announcement. The big announcement, I can't even remember what it was. It was low wattage and the huge announcement was. It was that the product manager from Coles or Woolworths.

I remember which one said we're watching it very closely. That's right. And then the huge announcement, we weren't allowed to know because. I didn't care for your tone. I didn't care for your attitude. And I'm sensitive. a similar swell here again. And then he said, I'll never tell you the huge announcement.

You'll just, when the product comes out, you'll know what it is because you'll go, ah, that must have been the huge announcement. And did he say, and I stand by that? Did he vouch never to bring it up again until the product's out, or is he allowed to talk about other announcements? No, I think he's allowed to talk about other announcements. Okay, great. And look, these announcements, I apologize, because if you have gone to hameshives.com

and you're part of the mailing list, as 6,000-plus people, are part of the hive, you will have received this already in a newsletter update. How many newsletters have you put out? That will be today's newsletter, or last night's newsletter. Okay. Yeah. So just one last night. So that's the first one.

Went out last night. No, God, no. We've had them going out since the start. Yeah, but how many of you sent out? Last night, just one. What are you asking, man? I'm very confused by the guy. I think I've answered your question, Senator.

Asked and answered. Sure. No, two. We sent out the initial one. Including the one that you said last night. Yes, too. You haven't said because we're pre-recording this. Two days early.

That means you have to remember you have to remember doing that in the next 48 hours. I'm not going to forget. We'll not forget this. This is all, I'm basically reading from now. the draft of the newsletter here to give you the guys the exciting news because I know how it's naysaying there was last time. Mr sneaky man must have it all. Go for it.

What a whistleblower. We're rare to have a whistleblower, not even at your own company. Standing outside the business blowing the whistle. Yeah. This is the, um, fair. Sorry. Hames, Hives, an exciting new honey business that is, you know, disrupting the bee farming world.

And, you know, look, until this point, I did try and flag with people. Like, A, I didn't pick a great time to start a new business. I was kind of going into a few weeks of filming a TV show, and then I went away on holidays for a few weeks. I know it came in with a full head of steam to go, I'm going to prove you guys wrong and make Haymes have a wonderful business. But I'll be really honest with you as friends in the background. There was part of me going, you've picked a poor time of the year.

If there were as a board of directors that you had to be in front of now, and they went, great, so we've invested in this, how have you been going over the last six weeks, eight weeks? I mean, I could give them, I could do a bit of paper shuffling, give them some answers. Here's the exciting part. There isn't a border. It's just me, King Bee, plus my mate, AJ, who is from New Zealand,

because this is a South Island, Alpine Honey operation, Australian company, all tax money will stay on the shores. I'll look after this country. And I think out of respect to Australian bee farmers, who I adore, and I've met a lot of bee farmers in my travels, big keepers. I like to think we're in the bee farming business. You know, I say to them, they're like, you know, this is great, how are you enjoying it? To a person, the bee people are wonderful.

They care about the nature. Everyone's very into it. Love that. I very happy to be part of the bee farming community. And that's, I think, another reason why starting it in New Zealand is a good idea because you're just like, I'm just not going to encroach on your turf guys. The Aussie bee farmers. Yeah, leaving...

They're doing a great job. Let them be. Let them buzz around. And then we've got this Alpine honey that maybe we can sell overseas into other markets and whatnot. The other side of Australia is doing so well as well. So if you see, I'm certainly before Hames Hives launches at least,

if you see an Aussie honey, get it, go for it. So you say you won't launch your bees in Australia? I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. You're just talking about Woolworths and cold. I'll launch the honey in Australia. That's what I say you will. Well, I won't go and put my hive next to your hive

and be competitive like that to an Australian bee farmer. But I will be that balsy to the Kiwis. Sure. Our hives be in the same place. But on the shelf, you're competing? Yeah, look, honey dollar for honey dollar. I think all the more honey sold, the better for everyone. I think we all agree on that as big farmers.

A rising bee flood lifts all hives. So that's good news for the industry. But from a business perspective, do you want some exciting stuff. Yes. I have actually paid out the first money to put the deposit down on our hundred hives. I bought a hundred hives. The deposit has been paid. $10,000 has been paid for the hives. That's just the deposit. We're not going to go into the whole accounting of it, but an actual check has been written for hames hives. We want to get them in. We want the hives place site selection is happening this week. AJ is going to New Zealand to liaise with our

or bee associates in New Zealand who are going to be managing the hives because obviously we can't be there. Site selection's happening next week. Great. Yeah, these are two very big milestones in the industry. And, yeah.

No, please ask questions. How long does it take, like once you're stuck with a hive there? We want spring, springtime. We want the honey to be flowing. You might have honey in like two months. Let's say three, but yeah. Let's not pressure the bees too much. but a lot of these hives are going to be at high altitude

to create the highest hives in the world. What we think is the highest hives, therefore the strongest bees, therefore the strongest honey. That's it. I heard that disclaimer in there. What we think are the highest hives. I'm not going to go and check every mountain in the world to make,

so there's not a beehive on it. To the best of our knowledge, these are the highest hives. We believe these to be the highest hives, and we believe these to be the strongest bees, and therefore that's the honey that we're going to put into energy gels. That's how our honey.

So you can enjoy some of the cross-special benefits of eating some honey produced by the world's strongest bees. They have to be to live at that altitude. And then seeing what it does for your performance, if you're into this kind of thing, like if you're a runner, cyclist, triathlete, endurance. It's a good area to play in. Yeah, I've got a good contact in that world,

and I'm confident we'll get that product flowing as well. So looking at three flavors of high. Honey, three types of flour. It depends what flower the bees land on. More details will happen later. Money has been paid. What else did I need to tell you? Money, a location thing?

Oh, yeah. And I would assume you two will be pestering me for a ticket to the launch. Cocktail party. When is it? Tell us about it. November. 10th.

Oh, my birthday. Is it? Yeah. I won't be there. Why not? I'm playing in the Vig VGAGA championship. What time of the day is that? You get, well, I'm going to be down the coast, like, they play it down the coast, so I'm going to be down there.

Jack, would you like to come for your birthday? Yes. Now, people might think, from all the pauses. Happening here. We're just making this up as we're going. Secret location. Right. Wow.

Now you've got my interest. So, but will Jack have to pay for his flights to get to this thing? Just be careful what you're saying you'll be at, Jack. Like, you usually like when a brand launches something, they invite you, it's kind of like a free drinks and free. Okay, if I'm inviting you as an influencer, I want big promo for it from your socials. I thought you were inviting me as a friend. Then I'm not paying for you to be a friend.

Do you want the free package where you're an influencer or do you want the friend package where you just come along. I think you would invite a friend for free. Especially on his birthday. Yeah, it's true. But I think what we're saying here is if you have to fly yourself to Sydney, you're probably not going to go.

Is it in Sydney? Secret location. Will we have the honey ready to taste? At this stage, I can say yes. I can say yes. November 10, the honey will be there. I will be there.

I will be there. If it's in Melbourne, I will travel. I'll travel back. I don't think we can have any of the bees there because I think there's, I don't think you can just bring a bee, not just ship a bag of bees from you. But we might have a live satellite cross to some of the bees. Well, that sounds fun.

That's great. Yeah, there'll be some other stuff to. A couple of surprises. That has been a good update because things have happened. Things have happened. Money's being paid out. And where do you think the equipment for the satellite cross comes from? That's not going to be free.

So the business is now operating. Obviously, at a loss for the first bit of it. But then once the honey starts flowing, things should turn around. So bloody exciting. Also, oh, sorry, the other thing that went out in the newsletter is... The one that's gone out or the one that you will forget to put out? The one that's gone out, the one that's heading on out the door. I'm just putting the finishing touches on it.

I'll write this in now as I remember it. you will have the chance to name a bee after you will be able to buy naming rights to one of the bees at one of the hives. No, no, you don't buy the bee, we own the bee, but you've named the bee. It's an NFT, it's an NFT. You get a unique photo of the bee.

You get a unique photo of the bee and a certificate with its name, signed by me, 10 bucks for one of the regular bees and $20 on for one of the strong bees at a high altitude. I'll take 10. Great.

Given as a present. It's just helped with the satellite crosscast. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamish and Andy.com.