Hamish & Andy - 344 - Hamish's Glory Days

Episode Date: August 12, 2026

After a hiatus, Hamish returns to his so-called “Glory Days” - this time as a coach. Andy shares a workplace pizza order that takes a bizarre turn, while a Gusto Check puts a nursery owner’s patience to the test. Plus, Jack is put on the spot about the long-awaited board game and his negotiations with Brisbane Ben. 1. Hamish is back skating 2. World Cup pizza delivery 3. Gusto Check - Craig from Oakdale Plants and Bulbs 4. Jack’s board game negotiations 

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. Ahoy to me, Gem. Hamish. Thank you. I do what I can to find out that I'm one of your gems

is a sweet compliment. Could we be tough? The first thing that comes into my mind, which would be unlikely for a few reasons is pet names that our friend Ryan has had for the family dog, but they only had one dog. It was called Gem. Yeah, they never had any more dogs, so I don't know what you guys would be. I don't know how interesting it would be for the listeners.

No, it's not that, nor is it subsidiary digital television channels. Oh, that would be good. That would have been a good one, though. That probably would have been easier to miss. Obviously, referring to nine gem or 10 peach. Is that still going? No. They're still around.

I don't think peach is still... Be easy to keep them going and wrap them up, wouldn't it? Just put it on loop. I think you just put it on loop. Yeah. Just run the nanny. Ten peaches. I've said it before.

I've said it again. It holds up. In between the cube. No, ahoy to my Pereira. Ahoy. It's very difficult this one. But you've been told to do a mixture of easies and hard. We've had a few hards in a row.

We also had a couple of double-ups. That was a complaint that came in. A couple of donuts. I heard just have won. There's been a few. Really? And because we have... Which one was your double-up that you...

I think the Dromedary's one was a double-up. Someone said camels and another one were double-ups. Oh, there was the egos. Yeah. Yes, yes. The ead, the super-in-b-y. Well, guys, we really need to look into that, don't we? Because podcast, Mike, who's, you know, no longer with the show, he's still alive.

No longer with us as we record this. So the best of our knowledge, he remains alive. Thoughts and prayers should, you know, we not get that right. Don't say that, because then what if something happens to him? I think it's pretty likely he'll remain alive between now and a few days from now when this goes out. But now that you're going to go out, now you're freaking us out. Probably on you, Jack, that made it real life. Yeah, I reckon.

I didn't jinx it. You did. I hope to God you've got blood on your hands because I think you jinxed it. Should we call him? No, no, he's alive now. But I'm just saying in a couple of days when this goes to air. I just say, don't do anything dangerous for the next three days. Is he skydiving this week?

Jack Jinks, you're doing it. You probably will make it to Thursday, but we're worried you won't. And of course, as well as the tragedy of you, your life being cut so short, there'd be the tragedy of us looking insensitive by having outdated content on the podcast. And since your nickname was, podcast, Mike, we know how upsetting that would be for you. Anyway, I was saying is podcast, Mike, who used to famously spend 20 hours a week putting these together. Then Lisey's come on the team.

She's, as part of her portfolio, she's doing it, and isn't, I think it's just unlucky for her that she's straight into territory that Mike had strayed into. And maybe it wasn't documented as thoroughly as it should have been by her predecessor. I think I think podcast Mike was no note-keeping Mike. And he was just all up top, Mike. And she's weighed into this mess of a system.

Or he spent the full 20 hours a week thinking of them. And just when he was going to go write them down, his buzzer went off. And he's like, well, I'm out of time. I can't write them down. Exactly. Anyway, you're doing a great job of cleaning it up lies. No one, we definitely haven't had this one. I am Wingfield.

I forgot the others. Jim. Yep. He'd be Harry Jim. Harry Gem. Oh, their last. names of people. Yeah.

Ogario Pereira and Walter Klompton Wingfield. I have no idea what this is. Go for it. The top naval commanders of World War I. No. They are the inventors of something. We've been talking about how at primary schools here there was invention of a certain type of this game.

They invented tennis. Really? Were you man job? Well, you know, this is sort of a moment. reminds me of the board game debacle, but you're at the moment. Hey, funny you say that. Walter, which is me, Wingfield, he's noted as being the inventor of tennis.

Who's Brisbane, Ben? Gem and Pereira actually invented it. Wingfield just patented it. I'll take that in for you guys. Leaving with me. I'll get this straight to the post of us. You're into the pub for celebration drinks. Maybe Jack, you're the Wingfield in this scenario with Ben.

I'm sure someone's done a book on it. I'm sure it was written down. You'd just love to know who came up with what. Well, historians, I've got one quote here. Historians generally agree that all three played an important role in the sport. I still want to know who can. I still want to know who went. What about a net?

What about if you have to hit it over something? Because it seems a bit easy just with these lines on the ground. You're going to make it a little trickier. And then if one guy's like, oh, maybe the net should be a centimeter shorter, I've contributed as well. Wingfield, mate, we know what you're doing. Stop trying to put your name on the baton.

What if I specifically just dictate how wide the stitching of the net should be, mate, we thought of this game. Was it called tennis when they registered it or was it called like? Well, they didn't register it. They didn't register it. He is the first wingfield. Wingfield's the first person to apparently registered and

patent lawn tennis in 1874 and then it was that that helped popularize the game internationally according to Wingfield his PR team Jack, you got a patent we need to file some patents to protect you from then

exactly but it's clear that Jim and Pereira got together on it like they feel like they would have been like the Lenin McCartney, like the engine of it. Yeah. And we can build the Beatles loyal. Yeah. So apparently Pereira had the idea for the rackets.

Okay, so this is what I'm interested in. See, that's a huge part of tennis. But did Banbinn already exist? Great question. I don't know. It's his favorite subject. He's not just quickly reading the book of the media. Guys, I must admit, I have exhausted the facts.

Pre-written facts. Can I come clean to you? I am not a tennis historian. It is me and your friend, Andy Lee. Ahoy also to Gus, who comes in to us from the Southern Highlands. I think you did your wife grab up in the Southern Ireland? Yeah, that's where's O.G. Born and Bread, Bundan Noon.

Shout out. Well, Gus is knocking about down there and he went to Hamishnan.com to tell us what he's up to. Ahoy Hamish, Andy and the Duke of Weasletown, Jack Post. Gus here, sending much gusto your way. Was it go, yes? Currently getting some corn for the cows in the beautiful Southern Highlands. Nice.

On my third or fourth rerun through the pod, just want a clarification from Mr. Post. Have you returned Magic Mike's golf jumper and have Hamish and Andy receive their new ones? It's been a couple of years since this has happened, so surely you're not holding on to them. Thanks, boys. Every Thursday,

have a great laugh. Keep up the good work. On your gas. Well, legend. I brought, I played a round of golf with Mike and returned his jacket. And then as I was doing so, we said, why don't we play for the jacket?

And I actually won his back, fair and square. I did not know that. Yeah, I put it up on Instagram, but I forgot to come back here and tell you that I am now the legal owner of the jacket. I will have to verify that with Mike. Wow. Incredible.

Great. Well, nice, nice Gus for, and thank you for going. We said he's worked his way through a number of times, but we do prefer people going back to the start. It's our preferred method of consumption. We know some people are fast and loose, but thank you. We'd love the Gus method, though. Do it four times.

Keep lapping it. Keep lapping it. I mean, we forget what's in the shows, clearly the amount of times we do things we've done before. So trust us. Once you get to the end, go back eight years, you'll forget. Just keep lapping it. I've got some exciting news for you. Interesting that we're talking about sports to start the show

because I have, after a hiatus, returned to what I think you guys would easily term my glory days. I'm back doing something. Do an arrow? No. Archery? I haven't picked up archery, still thinking about getting the compound bow, waiting to get right back into our tree.

I'm back doing something that I'm very well known for, and now I'm doing it in a coaching capacity. Rollerblading. Yeah, rollerblading. He's back. Wow. Was one of your last rollerblades with Van Steward? I think it was my last time I rollo bladed when I rollo bledledded with Vanstststoy.

I was one time on Lego Masters where I had to be a vampire, and I said, get me rollerblades, and I'll glide through the back of shot. But that was about five years ago, and I did only skate. And I got tangled in the cape and I fell over. Yeah. So I haven't really seriously bladed since the year 2000. Wow. And I find myself back in the skates.

Well, I sent you a video not long ago because they play roller hockey near where Beck and I are living at the moment. And I sent him home because Hayme used to play roller hockey. Yeah. And so I sent me a video saying, hey, there's a game. There's a scratch match going down here if you're in the area to come down and roll and hock it up. as you used to say to me. How do you have a field hockey players look at roller hockey players. Jealous?

Jealous. The deepest of respect. Yeah, interesting. Is it cooler than field hockey? Both are very cool. I'm happy. It is. Roller is cooler than field hockey.

Wow. Cool than field hockey. That really. Roller hockey was an interesting one because you wore all the pads. You wore all the pads of ice skating. I mean, there's no specific roll hockey gear. It's such a niche market. but it's essentially ice hockey,

but on a netball court with a collapsible, padded fencing system that you can, a guy called Mike can pack up at the end of the day and put it in a storage container, and he gets paid 30 bucks to come early and set it up each week. But that's how... Was it a puck or a ball? You can have both.

No, we actually use a puck. Like it kind of slides along on the ground. Yeah, the puck. But you use ice hockey gear. They're using a ball. You can also use a ball. It's not as fun, not as authentic. Yeah.

You use the ice hockey gear, but it's non-contact. Yeah, you don't check each other, D. Like, ice hockey is the fullest contact sport you can possibly imagine, but you meant to not really touch each other in roller hockey. Anyway, so that was the year 2000 for me. I've briefly talked about my relationship with rollerblading before. Got into it mid-90s back when we thought, okay, skateboarding and rollerblading.

It was neck and neck and neck. There was probably one year about 1994. where like these are the two coolest wheeled pastimes. You turn on the X games just as much coverage for the inline as it would be for skateboarding. I placed my bet. I'm back to the wrong horse. But I had unfortunately just mastered the motor skills needed for rollerblading. And I couldn't be bothered starting from scratch on skateboarding.

We always dreamed of a day when skateboarding would die out or at least rollerblading would come back. As the 90s wore on, it just seemed like rollerblading was hanging in there but not doing great. Then I doubled down, as we mentioned in U-2000, I doubled down, maybe roller hockey is the way back in. That also sort of faded away. Shocked actually when, first I'd ever heard of it in decades when you mentioned Ando that they were playing it near your house. However, recently for my daughter's birthday, I took her and a friend ice skating.

and it awoke within them. They're like, this is really fun. This is fun. I like ice skating. But ice skating, there's a temporary rink in winter in Bondi. Part of the winter festival, Bondi is not a place you think of as having a winter festival. It's quite a summer-associated place.

And it does have a warmer climate. And the rink, I don't know if it was because it was the last week that we went, the rink was a giant puddle. It had melted. A lot. So you're skating through like three centimeters of water. But still enough for them to get the first fall. There is ice under there.

Yeah. So you are sliding along. But any time you fall over, you're just saturated. Okay. And so as an adult who's like ice skating is a pretty similar thing to roll-blading. But when you get on you like, oh, mate, this is, and I love that my chance is here. Because the rental ice skates are the worst pieces of shit of all time. They are two, basically, it's like they've got two sand.

buckets from the beach and just put metal on the bottom. And you're just rattling around in these things. I'd imagine in Australia even more so. Because Beck and I went for an ice skate in New York last winter. And they seemed like they had a fairly good gear set up. Because they're an ice skating culture. We didn't have an ice skating culture in Australia. Anyway, so I've gone to the girls.

Tell you what, rather than us trying to do this as like one place to do it, who's interested in which you guys want to learn how to skate? Huge response. So it's Ruin her two friends, right? Now, Ruth's last name was obviously, is Blake. The other two surnames are J and P. So it's P, B, and J skate club. Okay, well, this is huge.

I'll coach you girls. We're going to start this. Good news for me is this means an avalanche of gear. I can buy myself skates. I'm like, this is going to be terrific. My skates came. Yes. Yeah, during the week.

Zoe was busy. Zoh's often busy, my wife. She has a lot on. She works from home. When she came upstairs, like she came up from like sort of the garage area into the kitchen and found me gliding effortlessly. The kitchen.

I think as a husband, we always like to be able to make our wife say, oh my God. Sometimes she can say in a really excited way. That's the dream. Yeah, that's the dream. This was not one of the excited, oh my God. This was a sad, oh my God.

Yeah. I'll still take it. my wife say, oh my God. If you have to read it out in court, and whatever tone you want. And was she, how did she feel? Well,

let you be the judge, mate, when I was age. She looked at me and said, oh, my God. Oh, my God. Anyway, last night, first skate club at the netball courts near our place or near the kids' school.

So after, you know, some netball courts have like an almost a rubber, or is it just, because it's dash felt? No, it feels it's smooth. These are good quality. Yeah, okay, great.

There's 12 of them. Because I was like, everyone's like, where are we going to do this? Yep, the girls are keen. How do we do this? So they've all got like, you know, either borrowed or found or, you know, I've got skates. We're all committed. And I'm like, okay, I'm going to be the coach. And I was like, you know, I drive past these netball courts during the day.

And I'm like, no one's ever using these things. There's 12 netball courts that's obviously been put in the wrong spot. So I'm like, this is where we're going to do skate club. Pick the girls up from school. We go there. There's one netball team using the courts. But we're like, yeah, we'll just pick a court. So we get on a court, we're sort of putting skates on, learning the basics.

Then another netball team turns up. They're like, oh, sorry. I was like, yeah, no, we'll just move over this court. Move over that court. Then, like, two or three more netball teams turn up. And they're like, we're on this court. And I'm thinking to myself, just go to another court. Stop kicking us off this court.

Yeah, yeah. There's enough courts for everyone. Yeah, now there's a system, isn't it? We move. Then a few more netball teams turn up. And they go, oh, sorry, we've got training on this court at four o'clock. And I'm like, well, you know, I think. there's a few other courts up there.

Because by this time, we're moving all the gear. Yes. And they're like, yeah, but we booked it. Like, and I was like,

is there a booking system? Is there? Yeah, we're court eight. It's like, sorry, our whole school's booked all of these courts.

Like, I'll just let you know. And she was probably like, you know, a year 12. Yeah, okay. I was like,

okay. So court five, we haven't booked. There's like some guys playing basketball up on court five who were, we sort of all had to move up

to court five. There's now like 200 girls playing. Netball. And I'm realizing these courts are empty during the day. Yeah, when you drive past. Yeah. But after school, it's heaving.

But I quickly went from being the hero with my little class of three girls who were really impressed by my rollerblading. To now when you're rollerblading around as a grown man. Like, I'm rollerblading. And now there's like 200 or so high schoolers, like all play. playing netball and really good, like, doing dreams going. And I hear a few whispers like, Hamish, like, Hamish Sandy Lego Masters.

And also the most humiliating bit was, because I left all the bags and I was like, come on girls, because they're brand new at skating, so they're waddling like ducks. I get them on court five. And I have to do, admittedly, a cool fast skate back to get all our gear. But when it's just me, like, not near these nine-year-old girls,

I was gay robobating. I felt like I was nude. I actually felt like a bit of and I was naked at school. I was just having this shock going, what am I doing in front of these big? What a challenge for you. I mean, there's an oxymoran to say you had to do a cool fast skate. Like, that's impossible.

In my head, I'm like, still got it, Blake. And I look up expecting to see impressed high schoolers. And I think it was like, there was definitely confusion, but maybe pity. Still, I'll do what it takes. He's back. Coaches in. I'm back. Guys, this happened months ago, but obviously wild scenes during the World Cup, right?

Yeah. And I know there's a lot of things that happen, but I think this is the wildest. My brother and I decided to, we were close to it, our production company and then his offices are close by. So we decided that we'd have a joint party for the Australia match. and order pizzas for the whole, like everybody. Great, which matters. The knockout one?

The Paragai game, the third one. Yeah, so it was like a midday kind of game in Australia. And so we've put an order in, and I won't say the company, but it's a known franchise company, not one of the big ones, not a pizza heart, not at that level, but just. Yep, but more than one store. Not Luca. Yep, not Luca.

So we've put the order in, and we put in really early. because we thought a lot of people will want to have pizzas. Let's get it even early. We've got the ovens here at the offices so we can keep them warm. Great. Half time, bang, or organized. No word from them. And it was one of those ones where it was a delivery, but we hadn't used an app or anything.

So there was no tracking or anything. We'd call it in. No word for them. Very 90s, isn't it? I mean, even 2000s, I suppose. But, God, we just put so much faith in deliveries back in the day. And like Uber Eats was always coming. It had to be always coming because it was the ultimate.

It was so easy to just order 10 pizzas to someone's house. Yes. Because the whole system operated on trust. And, you know, they put callbacks in a little bit later. But it was wide open, was it? Just a huge trust system. We thought they'd arrive around the start of the game. We kind of left ourselves a 40-minute buffer.

Midway through the first half, they know where to be seen. And we're getting close to it. It's going to be like a 1.30 now, 2 o'clock. I'm like, oh, that's a bit of a worry. So we call. It rings out. Call again. Go straight to message bank.

Do you pay with a credit card or are you going to pay cash? Already paid and the money has come out. Yeah. So in between calling, it rung out and then the next call, they've turned off their system. So we're like, oh, okay. So someone's there. So someone's there. So I think.

Oh, no, but sometimes, you know, sometimes you ring and then if you ring too fast, It's like the phone doesn't, it's not ready again and you get the message bank. Have you ever noticed that? That's when someone's trying to ring you back, I think, and you get them on their message bank. It's a machine jack. There's something to that.

I think if you try and call back too fast, you can sometimes get their message back. Again, I just sung the whole song. I just sang all the rings. I'm breathless. So I said to Cam, let's got to get in the car. Got to get in the car and go check this out because it had become half time.

and, you know, 40 staff members are sitting there going. We will promise pizza. Have you announced pizza already? We'd announce pizza. Everyone can't. Oh, boy. Yeah. And it's announcing pizza in a social situation is exciting, but it's not the end of the world if you don't get a piece of pizza in a social situation.

It's, you prefer to. But in a work situation, if you're promised pizza, you better get pizza. And people were told, don't bring your lunch in. Yes, that's the part. That's, it's pizzas. So we drive up and, I kind of park illegally quite close to the pizza store, probably like three car spaces down.

And there's about 13 Uber drivers, Uber Eats drivers out the front. And they're all kind of knocking on the window. That's a bad side. And my brother gets out, he runs up, and I see him go to the... My brother's big in stature, as in tall and strong. And he goes to the door and he starts banging. Yeah, the door. Right.

Maybe we weren't banging hard enough. So then I see Kim trying to put his shoulder into the door. I don't know if he's going to break into a looting situation so fast. Andy, help me flip this VW. Let's light it on fire. They'll have to make pizza then. So what's going on? So what happens now is not an eyewitness account.

This is an account of what Cam explains to me has happened when he returns to the car flustered. Okay. Right. He barges in it. Was there someone in there? I said he got into the shop or he could get into the car. And I said, why was it taking a so it forced?

He said they'd barricaded it with chairs and tables the front door. But why did it slip to anger so fast? Like was a guy in there slowly eating pizza in front of everyone like a kid at five school? He was looking at your name on the front of the pizza so you knew it was yours. Just throwing money in the air and eating everyone's pizzas. He came and said, we could see a guy in there, but he was kind of trying to hide. He barricaded it. He's barricaded the front door, but not locked it.

So I kind of had to show him to get an answer because we had 40 staff that we promised lunchtime pizza to. So I've got in, and there's a chair's kind of scared. This kid, I think he's head around the corner. And the guy's like, I'm really sorry, I'm really sorry. And Cam's like, yeah, we just need some answers, like some communication. I'm not here to have a fight during thing. We have broken and entered, but now it's peaceful. Yeah.

And the kid comes around and corner, he goes, the oven's broken. I don't know what to do. The oven's broken. Yeah. And Cam goes, well, where's the manager? And the kid said, he's fled. He's fled. Leaving this guy.

alone on the barricades to face a starving army. It's been a 17-year-old kid just there going, I'm sorry, but he's fled. Now, I've never heard of that. Fled is also so funny because he, if you flee, you can't go home. Like, where did he go? Is he hiding in a park?

I don't know. Is he just heading for the state line? Yeah. So Cam's like, oh, that's fine. We'll order different pizzas. We're paid for it, though. And then Cam looks round and he's got third. grateful Uber drivers understanding what's happening.

Yeah, this man's broken the barricade. They're like, okay, we'll cancel, we'll cancel. And they're like, you shouldn't have done this. You've got to tell us, etc, etc. But Cam comes back to the car with that exact story. And I just love the idea that this pizza merge is still on the run. He's somewhere, yeah, because you can't flee home. No, no.

I just don't think you can flee home. I think, yeah, fled involves. The problem is going to, it's going to catch up with you eventually, Unless you are on the run forever. It will. It will. I mean, I was thinking, I was like, is this a scam where someone's just gone,

hey, listen, we only get one crack at this, but we wait to a big pizza day. We take all the orders and we flee. And when Andy called with the order of 40, they said, this is the day. Today's the day. Guys, we're getting out of here with 22. The pizza shop.

Just never exist. Getting out of here with 2200 bucks. What about the doors? They auto lock. We'll barricade them. It'll hold the mob back for a while. Hame, it's time for another one of these. Gusto, gusto check.

We're going to do. I think we've mentioned this before, but it always strikes me as a low gusto. He's done a little bit. This was after we were accused of lacking gusto by a client on the show. Someone sponsored the show gave the feedback to our bosses here saying that the boys, just came back, liking a little gusto,

to which we took offence but have been, but gusto checking each other. But then we did have emails coming in saying how happy they were without gusto. Yeah. Except one person was liking Gusto and it turned out to be Jack. Yeah. No, I don't remember it that way.

So we thought, if we would you like us to check your business, please nominate yourself or a family member, and we will do a cold call just to check the amount of gusto you have when you're working as we were judged upon ours. Do you know what? Gusto does make the world go around because the gusto is everything that's sort of unquantifiable

past the bare minimum. If you had a person in your head, you know, from history, that personified it, I've got one, who do you think it would be? I mean, Truman from the Truman Show? Yeah, he definitely...

Not from history, but Jim Carrey in general is high gusto for a lot of his characters. I was going to go with Steve Irwin. Oh my God. Perfect. Gusto. Huge gusto.

Yeah. Like, there's that thing of going, it's everything else apart from the actual words that are being said. On the other end of the scale, for anyone that's ever travelled to America and met someone in a service job, no gusto whatsoever, just legally saying the things that I'm required to say

as I stand here and I'm furious that I've only had to turn up to work, but interact with a customer. That is the lowest gusto you'll ever find, especially at airports. A customer officer. If you find someone with Gusto and a customs officer in the United States, it is such a shock to the system if someone goes.

Because you know they'll get it beaten out of them. Over time, it will air the way. But we love it when we come across people with good Gustave. Because it's a daymaker. When you talk to someone, actually a shout out to a local, I mean, no one really said to my Pat knows what I'm talking about here. But Marcello, local barista, insane Guston. Next time you're in Sydney,

I've got to just take you to his coffee shop. Oh my God. He's Brazilian. Everything's fantastic. Just deeply in love with life. I think South America as a whole have pretty good gustav. High Gusto continent.

I know I'm just generalising, but yeah. I mean, Carnival. They get it. What is that if not a gusto check? An annual dancing gusto check on the whole of Rio. Yep. As I hope we got to make that. And this comes in from Jared.

he's nominated his father-in-law, and his father-in-law is Craig. Craig runs a nursery in Tazzy called Oakdale Plants and Bulbs. Okay. Now, Jared's like, look, Craig's a lovely guy, retired school teacher, legend, salt of the earth. But running a nursery keeps him incredibly busy, and some of the callers do test his patients. He deals with some quite fronies. frustrating phone calls from people who, you know, for example, don't know their annuals from their perennials.

Oh, I don't. Yes, I don't either. For a second, I thought the perennial was near the annual. The annual. I feel like, I know what an annual and a perennial is. Or do they know what its cousins are? Your perennials are, you're seasonal. Seasonal, yeah.

But so are your annual annuals just flower. annually. Yeah. So a bowl would be an annual because they're the ones that come out and then receive, but perennials, I suppose, are there all the time. I guess so. Well, here's my thing. This is not what we normally do in the gusto check.

It's a slightly different one. I mean, normally it's very down the line. Like, if we're calling an optometrist, it's like, what glasses do you have? Why should I come and visit you? This seems like one where we have to think of things that are deliberately frustrating. Yes. Like, do you have any evergreen trees that still go orange for a bit,

but the leaves don't fall off. Yeah. Or you're just not knowing stuff. Like the perennial example is perfect. If you just don't know. I'm not sure if I want a perennial or an annual. Because I don't even know the difference. Is there a difference?

Is there a difference? Is there a difference? Yeah. Is there a difference? And is there a difference between a bulb and a seed? Yeah, great. Because he does, I think, is it got bulbs in the name? Yeah, plants and wild.

Plants and bulbs. Yeah. Maybe what's the difference between a plant and a bulb? Great. Because aren't they the same thing? Yeah. Plant and a bulb. What?

And then like a general greeting? I mean, do we go with five here? I think we just go to the three there. I think those two questions are great. Yep. And then we go the hello and the goodbye. Yep. So it doesn't go forever.

That's fantastic. All right. You got the number, Jack? I've got the number. You ready, Hame? Yep. I'm thinking of coming down, sprucing up. I guess I'm just, yeah, doing the small courtyard.

Now, are you going to say you're new to gardening, or you're just going to go in with, I know a fair bit about gardening and then ask dumb questions? I probably know, yeah, I think you've got to go. Look, yeah, I'm experienced, but help me out with a couple of these. That's a good approach. Right. Okay, here we go.

Hello. Oh, yeah, is that Oakdale plants and bulbs? Yes. Oh, lovely. My name's Briley. What's your name? Craig. Great.

Good to meet you, mate. Hey, I've got a courtyard. I've just moved into a new place. It's got a courtyard. Not a lot of plant life in it. Pretty sure I know what I'm doing. Got some ideas. But just wondering, before I make the trek down,

I'm just thinking, is there a difference between perennials and annuals? Yeah, well, annuals really last only the one season. Perennial should come back year after year. And then the annuals come back annually? Well, annuals generally die off, and then you need to replant them again next year. I thought they sometimes survived and they might come back.

Like pansies, for example, you can call them an annual, I suppose, but they'll reseed. But they're also a perennial. Well, it's not the same plant that comes back. The plant probably dies, but they throw out a lot of seed that grow fairly easily on their own, so they come back as new plants. But that sort of is the same plant, isn't it?

So they're both, are they, a perennial and an annual? Well, it's not the same physical plant. It's the same variety. Right. So the plant grows obviously has a flower. the flowers drop seeds, that plant will die, and so the new seeds will come back. So you've got the same variety of plant, but an actual different physical plant, if you get what I mean. How do you know where one plant stops and the next one begins, though?

Oh, well, that's a good question. So it could be the same plant. Well, possibly, but anyway. Okay. And the only other, your plants and bulbs, what's the difference between a plant and a bulb? Well, bulbs have like a tuber that grows underneath the ground, and that sends the flower out, whereas a plant grows and it has roots underneath.

But they're both underground and above ground. Yeah. So are they the same thing again? Well, no, a bulb is different than a, like a tree obviously grows with a trunk and roots underneath the ground. A bulb grows for, it has a storage bulb underneath the ground. That's where all its energy comes from. You've seen tulip bulbs and daffodil bulbs and that sort of thing.

I think so. Well, they're obviously different than a tree root, for example. Yeah, no, you're right. What time do you guys shut? We're open by appointment. Oh, right, okay. What, are you open at the moment? I'm here at the moment, yep.

So it's just at my house, and we've got two and a half acres. So I've got the nursery sort of down the bottom of the block. and if I gave you a buzz, do you reckon later in the week, you'd be open to showing me a few of these things? Yeah, sure, yep. All right. Well, thanks for your help. Really appreciate Craig.

I'll give you a buzz back. No worries. Thank you. Cheers, Hamish. No. Craig, when did you pick up on it? Craig, when did you pick up on it? Just the sound of your voice at the last moment.

I thought he hasn't done that. Surely he hasn't given me the whole trees and plants explanation. Craig. Just about to go down and do some gardening and I get this. Craig, you were nominated by Jared. Good on him. Yeah, well done. And we were testing your patience in it's a, we test different businesses and how they're customer facing. It was a, experience.

Chas a gusto check. It didn't sound like a gusto check. Craig, you know, it was a slightly different gusto check this time around. Craig, you're a retired school teacher. Why don't we let you grade yourself and you spend your whole professional life grading kids? How would you grave your performance with that man who did require some education? What, grading my patients. Yeah. My patients, I'd give myself probably an eight or a nine out of ten.

I think you was an age as well. I think he did pretty well. It was great. I was trying to work out, you know, the bulbs and the trees. How are they different? Well, how can you not know that they're different? Yeah. Hey, Craig, how many dumb questions were we away from you snapping? It felt like you still had a few in you. No, look, I'm very, very unlikely to snap it, I would say. Oh, nice, mate. You work in an industry where really information is the gusto. You've got to help educate. people for their gardening and I think it was very informative. I think it was a lot of gusto. Yeah. Very good.

Yeah. Congratulations, Craig, mate. And we will book an appointment if we do come down. No worries. Also, I'll come across and I'll have a game of golf. Oh, yeah. Great. Gusto's off the charts here.

If you want to book me into that, I'll be over. Yeah. Nice, Craig. Put him in a club. I'd happily have him. Just give us a ring and I'll be over. Cheers, Craig. We're going up.

Well done. Fantastic. Thanks, this is the Augusta's off the charts. Okay. Cheers, boys. Cheers, mate. Thanks, mate.

Thanks, mate. Hey, and before we wrap up today and also get to the next bit, small little announcement, the animation, do not watch this show, is on the BBC. So for anyone that is listening in the UK, you can watch it on CBBs or BBC. BBC 1? I think CBBs is their kids. That would make more sense. Then it's being like, you know, the bill straight into.

Straight into it. Watch this show. Sunday's 7.30 are mentioned on BBC. Yeah. You would think so. Can I raise one flag? You say the bill going into Andy's cartoon wouldn't make sense for a kid. Yep.

We're watching this season of Lego Masters and we're a bit behind now. So we're catching up on the 9 streaming app. You guys have got to change your ads that are inside a. children's TV show because it will go like, we're watching. I'm just on the computer now. I'll just, you've correctly assumed that it's me programming this. No, but you pass it on to the right person. Yeah, I'm just redoing the code here, delete, delete, delete.

Okay, new line, C colon, C-Dos slash ads slash ad drive. What ad would you like run during Lego Masters? The channel 9 promos, it'll go into like, so I'll go from you going like, after this, we're all going to judge whose Lego is the best. watching with a four-year-old. That's not that easy. Then it'll go to a 60 Minutes commercial. All right.

And it'll go like, she was murdered in cold blood. And they never found her killer. I don't think you could accuse him. I think kids like Lego Masters, but it's not making. Kids are watching. Kids are watching Lego Masters. They are, but I don't think.

Fair enough. So delete, delete, delete. C, DOS, Run. 60 Min Pro Mode underscore Delete. underscore replace with what ad would you like? Kellogg's?

Like just something neutral. Cerellas. No like even beef for Channel 9 but just do like another show. Another show.

I have to think what shows are on what channels but you know anything Antiques Road show. Okay. The block. Okay. So we're placed with

blog. D.XXXXXR. It's a big of show. That's probably what's on 730 Sunday nights on the BBC. Come full circle. We've gone full circle.

Sorry, no, I'm just uploading the file now. I'm going to say, yes, are you authorized to do this? Yes, are you sure? Yes. Do you acknowledge that this will change all broadcasting across nine-n-hour platforms? Yes. Families with young children will know what I'm talking about. They'll be nodding.

It's not easy for me. There's only two of us in there coding the entire back end of that whole thing. You got to jump for the remote, get mute. I haven't seen it. I'm hearing the feedback. I'm hearing the feedback. I just don't believe you're passing it on. I haven't.

seen arguing like this since the rat and the bat in Do Not Watch this show. Right, Andy. On BBC. That should be fixed for you now, Jack. Before we go, Jack, how have you gone with a negotiation with Brisbane Ben for the board game? It's been a week. That's a long time. Aren't you doing the, isn't he flying down to this?

He's flying down Saturday. Yeah. Are you looking at the sheet because I said, hey, at the end of the show, I want to talk about cat news, and you're now realising that that was a cover because we want to ask you about Brisbane Ben. So you don't need your cat meowing sound effect after all. I thought that would throw you off even more

if I asked for a cat meowing sound effect. I haven't negotiated with Brisbane Ben yet. Do you think it's important to do that before he arrives on Saturday? He's actually been on my to-do list all week. It's one of those things that I see and go, oh, that'll be a tough, uncomfortable conversation. So it keeps getting pushed. Maybe it'll get easier if I put it off.

Tomorrow will be the last day that I can put it off because then he comes Saturday. And you would want the negotiation to happen before he gets here. Oh, it's much easier beforehand. I mean, we've all seen the social network, a bit easier to negotiate this when it's a fun website rather than when it becomes a billion dollar. When it's successful. Yeah. But what are you, because I sat down a couple of times ago like, okay, this will be what I negotiate.

This is my strategy. And then I just knew nothing about like, what do you think? I think I offer him. Well, it's up to you because it's coming from your third. I mean, it's not, it's not for us to say that. It would be so. But and, and we're talking about as in thirds, you guys only get a percentage of the profits, right? Because if I'm outlaying money to like make the cards, print the box, yeah, ship it to wherever it goes, etc. This is a new thing. So you think. Well, this is a different question. That would be

so you're going to manufacture. Am I manufacture? Am I, Am I making the whole game? Yeah, that'd be fun. I'd love to see you have to do that. I thought I was. That's why every time I look at the board game, I think. I got my hands full with friggin' honey business. I've already got enough logistics going on in the background.

See, Jack, the money to me. The construction money for that, like, you know, the initial outlay, the way normal business would work is that's his startup costs. That gets paid back with the first money that comes in. Yes. Then it gets back to zero. then anything after that would be a profit. Okay.

And do you expect me to do that? Because I'll be honest, when I keep looking at the board game and why I ask for three years to make it, is because I keep looking at like a to-do list that's first make the game, the idea of it, then make the board, make the packaging, make the photo on the front.

I'd like to nominate Jack two foot the costs. And I mean, you'll be... Well, then it will never get made. You actually... Jack... shouldn't use the joint fund to up front the cost of the... This is so far from where...

I always thought we were doing that, but the fact that you've been saying, now I need to make the board. Yeah, it's going to make the box that the board goes. It's going to be the first board game that's on paper to save money. Yeah, you printed out. You just get a link to a PDF.

You print it out at home. What you need to do, Jack, is just work out the deal of Brisbane, Ben, because we need to unpack this a lot more. Because, Hame, we're then risking our brand by having an inferior product out there

if I feel like if he was smart he'd realize he does have us over a quality barrel to go if you want it done well you guys have got to pay for the development

yeah okay so you guys I'll put in 100% effort into the making of the idea I mean for 100% effort sorry just in case you thought

that was capital no effort I mean zero percent capital but 100% effort yeah I think you're right you guys pay for the manufacturing But you get that back, you get that back.

Hang on, so has Brisbane been flying himself down? He's flying himself down. This is our thing, Jack. What does he expect? He keeps, you know, I didn't. I said, I said, can we chat this week? And then I haven't chatted to him yet. So he's aware there's a chat coming up.

He doesn't know what it's about. What an update for next week. Not only has Jack either had the conversation or put it off. He'll be at your house in the flesh with the game on Saturday. Jack, we're playing. I don't think, I don't think, I don't think you can look at it before you've decided who owns it. Because if he's bringing down...

He's already looked at it, though. If he's bringing down all... They're all his ideas, Jack. You can't look at it and then go... It's got a lot of flavour of my input as well. Is it that he's... I love the flavour. If this was a food test of Mastership,

a lot of the contestants would not be out of detect the flavour. It sounds a bit salty? My idea to put salt in it. But what worries me is, I think from last time it's spoke, you said, hey, it's about common manlandia. And he's going, yeah, cool. Well, I've developed the game around that concept. Hasn't used that title.

Well, he didn't even say that. So even though it is the same concept, he goes, how funny is it that my game is sort of the same as the game you came up with? Again, giving him more distance from. Yeah. But isn't it amazing that if he comes in and plays hardball, we could be looking at a situation where it's a third band, a third hamage, the third.

Andy. And the guy that was in charge of the project is on the sidelines putting in a hundred percent effort to a project he's 100 percent locked out. I'm calling Ben on my way home today. You're right. It's lingered too long and I have to talk to him. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamish and Andy.com.