Hamish & Andy - 345 - Brisbane Ben Meets Board Game Jack

Episode Date: August 19, 2026

Hamish presents the boys with an opportunity to score an exclusive invite to a very special opening (not honey-related!). A Song Sleuth puts one of the boys’ favourite artists into question, while Hamish makes the case for outlawing grey underwear. After a playtest with Brisbane Ben, Jack reveals where things stand with the long-awaited board game, and Hamish gears up for the imminent Pizza for the People challenge. 1. Magic Mike's Special Invite2. Song Sleuth3. The Board Game Playtest4. Grey Undies are a bad choice5. Last Minute thoughts before the Pizza Challenge

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. Ahoie to me, advance SP. Hamish. Thank you. It's not often that you use my correct title,

and I appreciate it. At least just for the top of the show, and then, of course, I'll put it behind me. Not that. In fact, we don't want to go down that path for the next one. Ahoy to me micro, Jack. I mean, come on. Yeah, and then I am the pocket.

The pocket, the micro, the advance SP. I think, are we gaming systems? Oh, yes. Or like a game boy or like a game boy. Oh, well done. Well done, boy. Yeah. Yes.

The pocket released in 19. The smaller lighter version of the original Game Boy. Yep, you could put that in your pocket, but it was a hefty lean. If it was a cargo pant, it would dack you no dramas. Yes, a sharper monochrome screen, they advertised in 1996. Color? No. Just sharper monochrome.

We're still doing green and black, but sharpened it up. Advanced SP released in 2003, the folding clamshell design, a rechargeable battery. That was huge. Backlink screen, depending on the model. People that are old enough to remember the original Game Boy, I was not lucky enough to have one, but I certainly saw others with them, and of course he coveted them deeply.

And tried to befriend them in the playground for a chance to potentially watch them play or to have one go every six affairs. From my recollection, it was about 90 AA batteries that you needed in the back of the game week. It was so much. Yeah, yeah, you couldn't travel internationally with one of them. It was so much.

So they were charged of a battery, you know, 15 years. years into its life would have been great. And then the youngest model, which which obviously sits well with Jackie here, the micro, released in 2005, very compact with interchangeable face plates. So, well done to all you three. Ahoy also to Emma from Scotland. Went to Hamishnanney.com. Let us know what she's been up to. Hi, Hamish, Andy and number six. Emma from Scotland here. Long time listener. I did it the recommended way. I started at the beginning and powered my way through it. However, I've recently introduced my husband Alan to the podcast and have discovered he's much more fast and loose than I originally realized

as he's listening to some from 2018, some from now, some from anywhere in between. Anyway, I thought I'd send this message as a nice surprise to him whenever he gets to this episode, which could be anywhere from next week to six months' time. Anywho, thanks boys, loving your work, and very interested in some international B sponsorship home. So, keep up. Great. Thank you.

Yes. And there's a lot of buzz on that front. I would look at Scotland for a highest hive situation, but again, very happy with our current locale. Yes, the recommended intake of the show is from start to finish. Emma's husband, a bit rogue there. He mightn't get the references, but we welcome everybody. If you're new to the pod, welcome.

I mean, it can be an exciting way to consume it. But, yeah, again, like, go entree, cleanser, Maine, dessert. It's getting such a big asker, though, to go, if you're new, to go all the way back eight years. Should we just, like, at the end of this year, do a refresh, and it's like no more jokes from previous years or references. So you can start fresh. Mate, we can't remember what we did two shows ago. Is it one we're going, that's a bit of a 2019 joke, Frank, come on. No, I remember what we should do.

What we should do is Instagram. have I had a millionaire, just put a safe level in. Just go, okay, do you know what? It's now, yeah, we've gone for eight, nine years. Just go back four years. You'll be fine from there. But it's also, it's what the government mandated break can be used for. It is a good chance to catch up.

I mean, we hate the government for make us go on this break. We'll fight a truth of know. I suppose, if forced to do some sort of, I don't know, like gratitude exercise or something by my mother-in-law or someone that's into that kind of thing would be, I go, okay, well, the one positive out of it is, yeah, it's like you get to, you can study the show over a summer break. You can do like a summer course and catch up, a remedial course. We could, we do talk about it from time and time doing a podcast, a one-off episode that we're just to try and explain like a glossary.

Well, we need somebody else to come in and help us do it. Yes, it can be for us. And we don't remember. We just don't remember what we've done. But we're so glad you do. So glad you do. Um, guys, I can get you an invite to a pretty special event that's coming up. I need to know now.

Not the bee. It'd not be honey related. It's not honey related? No, you will have to beg me dearly for the launch party, which is hand-sled in for November, although more updates to come on that for Hames Hives. No, no, this is a, what would you do if I told you I could get you an invite to a very small like a kind of a boutique crowd, maybe max

15, 20 people little canopets, beers, cocktail event for the opening of a billboard that sponsors one hole at my local public golf course.

Is it Bondi Diggers? No, not Bondi Diggers. It's the other way. I don't want to give away which golf course it is just so, because I don't want to create a stampede. Yes. So what's for you? So you're a company, you're going to be the sponsor of a home? No, although Hames Hives will absolutely keep this idea open in the future

because this week, last weekend, was a good friend of the show and host of Quismas, Magic Mike, his birthday. And being someone that cares about his business as a magician available for corporate events and birthdays, I thought a great present to look into would be sponsoring Hull 2, par four at the local public club. For people that have been on public golf courses, you'll know. This doesn't happen to private golf courses.

You don't see this. And it doesn't happen. On the pro level, like a car might sponsor the whole event. Yeah, roll-up. Or master card or something. But at a country club, like a club you might find in the country or a local course, a lot of the time there'll be a sign under each hole that says, you know, sometimes it's blank.

Usually a real estate agent or a travel agent or something. Yeah. It's absolutely the local. The local car guy. Yep. So it'll be like hole number two, proudly sponsored by Jefferson Egan. Yep. New and old cars.

And if they're smart about it, they'll have something like, you know, have your own drive, then come and drive one of ours. Yeah. Like I'll put a golf reference in it. I was able to secure 12-month sponsorship for Magic on hole two, which is actually a primo hole at the local golf club. Yeah. Because people are settled in by there.

You're often racing to the first T-Fat. from the car park and so you don't have time to take in this around? You'd never buy a whole one. No. I couldn't believe when I spoke to the guy, I got put in charge of the guy that runs the sponsorships. It's like, look, I've got a friend,

his birthday coming up. I think it would be a really nice gesture to buy him sponsorship of a hole for his business. And, yeah, he runs through the holes that are available. When he's like, hole two, I was like, are you joking? What, that's unbelievable. That's the jewel in the crowd.

Yeah. That's, because they also book people too fast at this golf club. So you tee off on whole one, and then there's like five. groups waiting already by hole two. So the linger time at the long, you're getting dozens of eyeballs. Anyway, Mike, through the roof. I was wrapped as well because I'd never really considered this.

And so what are you going to, are you going to consult him as to what you put on the billboard? He now gets to do the design with the preferred signage company that the golf club works with. And then it will be a few week turnaround. And then there will be a launch event, just a little red velvet curtain. I don't know if I're going to book out. a whole bunch of tea times and then everyone just makes their way to the second and we have a little unveiling or if we just, because you just walk on, if you're not playing golf, it's a public course, or we just walk on and have an event there, but you're not playing

golf. But then the groups that come through, you can give them a little cheese cube, you can meet them. I think that will appreciate that. Meet the magician. I mean, meet the guy from the sign like you do, you know, you have half an hour. So you're hoping we have through traffic. I was thinking like sunset canopays, most people would have absolutely gone through. and teed off from, they're going to be completing the round, so we'd have the whole to themselves, but you want the foot trapping. You want the foot trapping, but also people come through at all hours. Yeah, like people play till dark.

It's a big, I don't know anyone that's ever had whole sponsorship. And can I just tell you, it's competitively priced. It's not, like naming rights for the Australian Open. You might know that. How much is that cost? Or whoever. Yeah, yeah, it's in millions territory. Yeah.

Way lower to get the whole. And a public golf. Way lower. I'd love to come. I can talk to Mike and get you. Because if we don't want to overcrow it, we don't create a scene. In fact, when I told the guy what it was about,

this guy, Mike, a different kind of Michael, different Michael, the golf club. I go, hey, it's for my mate, he's a magician. And he goes, oh, mate, actually, I need a magician for an event we've got to come out at the end of the year. It's already working. So I was like, well, walk on down to hold two

and get his details. There'll be a QR code there. You can scan it. But I just say, I know, I know, We haven't talked about the price is correct for a while either. And I have run out of money. But boy, putting a sponsorship package in that, the prize pool for that would be huge. Oh, yeah.

Just find another club that I can get a hole on. I regret that we didn't spend any of our money. Well, if there's any golf clubs out there that have sponsorship available, any hole in their course, I reckon we could find some money. Do you know, it was competitively priced. You know, it's like, I won't give the exact, I don't know if it's confidential or not, but it's less than 90 bucks a month, right?

So if everyone chips in, it's a great present to someone. Great present. But the return on investment, too, you're going to get huge business out of it. It felt cheap to me, to be honest. It felt really cheap. So I went, but surely that's not the price for a hole too because it's the premium hole.

He was like, no, same price for all of them. And that just immediately I lost respect for the real estate agent on hole one, and these idiots that have bought the wrong hole. But I just thought, would we buy up as a business idea, all the available public golf course sponsorships. And then you resell them. Then on sell them.

On sell them. Come an agency. Jack, I know the board game's taking off a bit of your time. I am annoyed that I don't have a business to promote because... You're working on one though. You're working on the board game. Yeah, we could totally advertise the board game when it's made on there. But that's still like...

Why do you put yourself up there? Just go, do you want a funny video or, you know, looking for a content Yeah, I just think you get the wrong type of people. You don't know until you try, mate. Just buy one hole. I want to work with bigger brands, you know, who have a good budget. I don't want the local car guy. Big brands play golf?

Not at the public golf course. Oh, my goodness. It's so. Augusta or nothing. Haim, a bunch of these keep coming in, and so we have to be discerning. But I think this one definitely is a case. This sounds like this sounds like this sounds like this sounds like this If this sounds like that I'm your man

Andy Lee, song sleuth Yep song slooth is back And it pains me a little bit Because it's Robbie Williams And I love Robbie And he's on the show And he's been great to us But I think we have to put our hands up

And say look, we can't have favourites in this game you're meant to be, you know, I'm biased. So did you say unbiased? Yeah. Did it sound like I said biased? It sounded like I'm biased. You sound like you said you're meant to be full stop. I'm biased.

And I was going to say, well, I back that. That's fine. I thought we were having favourites. Yeah, we do send our favorites. So we'll see how Robbie fares with this one. His first song. The band's called Wet Leg. The song is called Shays Longe.

Is that how I'd say it? Let's the small almost couch, French almost couch. It's like a small, I think it doesn't have a back on it or has a very small back and one armrest. The L part of a big sofa. Yes, I think it doesn't have the back. It's the bit you lounge on. Shays, relax, relax, lounge, relaxing lounge. Not a direct translation.

Wet leg obviously loves. that part of lounging because they've dedicated a song to it and this was theirs in 2021. Right. That's the song. Good tune. I thought it was going to be mummy, daddy, look at me, which is what you would say if you're the person on the chaise lounge bit of the old shay couch because that is everyone's favourite part. If you're first into the room and you're all watching the footie or something,

you would, if you were smart, that's the best one day. And you're comfortable at the house because you've got to have probably just socks on shoes off. Yes. To lay out, but to stretch out, but that's the bit everyone's jealous of to go,

God, I'd love to be on the shade Lange bit because Jack's having, look at him, completely stretched out, salad bowl full of twisties. He's not moving.

I got to have to wait him out for a toilet break. True. Anyway, that's a song from Wet Leg. Robbie Williams just bought our new song this year.

Yep. It's called Bite Your Tongue. This is how it starts. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I accept your politicians I accept your attacks I've accepted everything

and then we're off and relax Hmm Now in Wet Legs Yeah In Wet Legs version Just starts that iconic drum

And that's just a bass playing I'm right aren't I Yeah It's just I wanted Before you guys kicked into all the technical music terms I just wanted to show that I too

Can I name the instruments And now you take it from Yeah. Well, you know, we often put these things to the lab and do the start of one and then into the other and then back to the other to see how it sounds. This is the two combined. Mm-hmm. Same pace.

Don't like it. Same key. Yeah, BPMs and the key is coming up a big match. So then I'm thinking maybe they depart massively in the chorus. You know, everyone can start us like that. but maybe Robbie brings it back to giving the benefit of the doubt and the chorus is so different. So this is the chorus of the wet leg song.

She's a Shays Long. She's all day on the Shays Long again, showing you the power of the Shays Long is such a relaxing part of the couch. This is Robbie's. It's further away. It's not as close as the verse part, but it's still pretty similar. I mean, does Robbie Williams write all his songs?

Or does he just write a lot of them? Don't know. I thought he was the writer of them. So maybe it's the benefit of that. Maybe I hadn't heard this song. like the Shays Long song and before it had come to my attention. Yeah, because I know that in the, yeah, I think he, I mean, I'm basing this on jumbling together a few facts, but I loved, you know, Better Man, the movie where he's portrayed

by an AI monkey. Great film, but he does give the impression that he is writing a lot of his songs. So on one hand, I tend to think, okay, he writes a lot of them. But on the other hand, you're like, well, he's not going to write all of them. And you know, I'm always amazed by the fact that these singers, like, people that have big hits are often written by other people. Then I put myself in the shoe of a professional songwriter

who has got the rent coming up and you know, you've been working in London or New York for three months. Charlie XEX said she was going to buy one of your songs and then it fell through and then it's been four months and you're like, shit, shit, I don't have any good ideas.

I've got to get something. I've got a meeting with Robbie Williams' guys tomorrow. I hate that. They're not going to listen to Wet Leg. No one remembers this song. I've always worried that at the bottom of a song sleet, he's a songwriter in a jam. Yeah, that's fair.

He's a LA dream. And maybe they're even hoping it doesn't get picked up. So they send it in going like, all right, I said I'd get them one this week. Yeah, yeah. There it is. He's not going to use it. I get paid on submission.

He's not going to use it. Yeah, even more likely. You don't want this one, do you? It feels a bit, probably a young French girl would sing this. And then nightmare when Williams is there going, I love this. This is my next song. And you're like,

well, I'm also, of course, excited because I just wrote it. I mean, yes, all of this goes under the insumption that Robbie Williams has never heard the song,

right? And that's the benefit of that we'd love to give our friend Robbie, which would be true. But then I found this, which is him in the Live Lounge, which is the BBC Live Lounge, whether you do a cover of a song,

and he did this last year. Mommy, daddy, look at me I joined to that got a pop star degree All my friends call it the big D A joint take that and I've got the big D He knows the song He has come across the song Okay this

The defense would like a quick recess We did not get told of this evidence Oh that does make it a bit tougher. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, let's just get out of here. Slip on the wrist. He won't do it again.

Big weekend last weekend. We've all been highly anticipating this. The update, we all need, Jacko. The board game playtest. I can't believe the board games been on the show three weeks in a row. Like, we're making progress. Do you know why? Because Brisbane Ben came along and he's actually done some work.

And you are racing to do. jump onto those coattails and cling to them for dear life. Jack, the board game's been on the show for two years. No, it hasn't been that long. It's been a while. Someone reminded me on emails this week and apologies for the no name check, but I was like, oh, yeah, I think it actually started when I was talking about how when you open a board game, there's not enough of the pad.

Like, all the score cards, yeah. And you run out of those and essentially it ruins the chances of you ever going back to that game. And I think I said back in that. I was like, if we ever did a Hamish and Andy board game, it would have the most pads of any game ever invented. Half the pack would be pads. And I'm keen. Have you wanted that?

Well, actually, Ben remembered that. He knows so much about the show because I said... He should be in here. Really, you're just Ben's interpreter. I said, how do we score? And he said, well, remember, Hamish doesn't like scorecards. And I had to nod along like I did remember, but I didn't remember. Oh, my God.

I'm just dying to hear the one piece of original content you've brought to this whole journey. First up, you said that you were going to negotiate it out with Ben before he arrives. Otherwise, it'd be a tough situation you were at your house. Yes, that's right. So we agreed that if his game was to go ahead, sorry, our game was to go ahead. So I was going to take one third of profits out of Hamish Andy Jack. And of my third of profits, he would get 50% of that. Okay.

So look at it at about 15% each. Yeah. Who do you think did better out of the deal? Well, it doesn't matter anyway. Really? Because the game will not be going ahead. You didn't like it. It just wasn't the game that I pictured in my head.

But you don't know what that is because you haven't put that picture down anywhere. So how do you even recall what the picture is? Can you reveal to us the game? You pictured in your head. All I said to you was I had the image of a family or friends sitting around and wanting to get the game out. I'd say it wasn't the environment. It wasn't the physical game I still can't see, but I know what the table looks like and what the faces on the people look like.

So you know what the user experience looks like? Yes. And it didn't feel like everyone feel like, great, this is so great. I want to unpack this. The game that I thought it was going to be. We would have preferred it be good. So how many people came to your house? So we did two play tests, one after the other, and some of the show listeners came,

some of my friends came. And when do you? you know, when did the feeling beginning you, uh-oh, this isn't what I wanted? Probably quickly into the game, which surprised me because Ben himself was a legend and he came down, we were having a laugh, but we had actually more fun hanging out outside of the gameplay than the actual board game itself. Maybe there could be a game called hangs with Ben. All the enjoyment of hanging with Ben now in a card game.

Obviously Ben would have wanted everyone to have fun. Yes. So was he nervous during the game and trying to, encourage people to have more fun with the game? He maintains he had fun the whole time. Trying to interrogate someone after a hang, to be like, come on, you didn't have to be honest. Not all of that was fun.

I did have fun. Jack, okay, give us a sneak pig as to what the game experience is a bit like. You don't have to betray any copyright. No, no, it's not. It's hard to sort of, like, I don't want to tell you the whole rules of it, But you're essentially getting cards and you're saying that your opponent, you know that your opponent is losing touch by saying, oh, I heard that Andy had a pool put into his house.

Or I heard Hamish. And they're on, like, is it a pool on a card? They're on a card. So you're drawing cards and you're like, I heard Hamish took a private jet somewhere. Somewhere. So, like, you're sort of in this, like, half semi-real, semi-fake gameplay of, like, who's losing touch.

but the cards are telling you who's losing touch. And I just, for whatever reason, I wasn't getting into it. It was all right, but it just wasn't the game that I had in my head. How many games of the game did you play? And that's the other thing. It went for like an hour and a half per game. Per game. He needs to be 20 to 30.

Yeah. I just thought of a new game right then when you were saying that. Hang on. I'm just saying this is my idea. But Jack, you can have 5% of it. You'd have to update it yearly with prices. but the whole joke of losing touch came from when politicians don't know the cost of milk and whatever.

You could essentially just have a card game that's like you get either items or you get their prices, right? So if you get an item, say we've got eight cards each in our hand or whatever, and it's just like designer jeans. I heard Jack's losing touch, he doesn't even know how much designer jeans cost. Now, if I've got designer jeans in my hand

and it says like $435, Jack would be like, no, I'm not losing touch. I think they're $435. $15, right? But you, because if you've got jeans in your hand, you know. But if you don't have jeans, you have to go, you panic and you have to guess the price of the jeans. And if you're more than $10 off, you have lost touch because you don't know how much things cost. But what if you have any of your thing is less?

Or you're going to say if you have dessert. But what if it's just staples, right? So it's like a kilogram of carrots. I know the price that's on my card. And then Jack has to guess a kilogram of carrots. And if he's off, he has lost touch and he gets a penalty card. So you play it through one. and then everyone knows the prices.

Well, you'd have 2,000 items. Well, we've got this game. Trivia heads at home. And it's just trivia, basically. It's like easy, medium, a hard, very funny. Have you played that, Jay? Yeah, it's good to play with different levels of...

Yes. The kids... It's good because it adapts for kids. There's 1,800 questions, I think, or something like that. Recently, the kids tried to memorize all of them. Yeah, it's very hard. It's 1800 times three. You get very confused because they do sort of remember,

but it's like what's the largest, by landmass, largest nation in Africa? And they're like, Russia? Because that was the answer to a different question. Yeah, yeah, right. So you can if you've got enough items. Do you think trivia heads is more fun than guessing items, the price of items? Absolutely. I'm not saying it's a great game.

I'm just saying that's other. That didn't take me any time. Well, this is what I'm finding with games. But I just say the scorecard now, if people have had an idea for the game is I'm on the board. Yes. But I've had ideas that I just haven't bothered to tell you because they're not as fleshed out. Like yours wasn't that fleshed out.

I haven't bought it to the table. But the hard thing about games is not the theme of it. It's just like the actual mechanics of the gameplay. What is enjoyable about playing this game? Yes. And the shame is, and thank you for everybody who's sending their game ideas on email or reaching out to me on DMs. But a board game, when you just read the back of it or say read the rules,

It doesn't sound good. Like, you have to play a game to go like, oh, this is actually good. But if you say like, oh, you'll have this and you'll have that, you just roll your eyes at it. So what I'm seeing is everybody's sending ideas to me. I'm finding them quite boring. Jack, you, this. So basically you're the guy, you're the guy in the brainstorm no one wants,

which is I'll just, just over on knows, I can identify bad ideas, but I, please don't ask me for the good one. I'll let you know it when I say it. I'll let you know it when I say it. I cite it. I want 80% of that just for the site. So that brings us to where we are. I feel like I am back at square one.

I am going to make the game myself. Okay. Because I can't put on anybody else to bring me a game and then I'll know that that's the game I wanted to make. Groundhog Day. You've said this. You said this only months ago. I think you've said it twice.

And you said it like to a revelation. 12 months. listening to this, he put his pen up in the air. Like, I will leave this team. This is like John Kennedy in 1971 going, we're going to go to the moon this decade, not because it is easy, but because it's hard. You said that 10 years ago.

Puzzles of you've been assassinated, but that's all right. It's a hypothetical. So you'll make it. I'll make the game myself. Is there a new time frame that you'd like? Oh. Oh, no. I'll still have it by Christmas

2027. Okay. Yeah. Awesome. I agree. I decree. I decree next year it became brainstorming year. Not production year.

You guys might remember a couple of weeks ago, remember I was wearing no underpants on the show? I had to go find some underpants. Yeah. I was thinking about this because... Hey, did you win at lunchtime and got some? I don't like them. He went and got...

I don't like... I don't like the brand. He was like, wow, I'm free. But I think it must have been... I didn't wear it because I was enjoying being free. I wasn't going like, this is the new me. I just had not packed them. Right.

Like, I had to get changed in the car park. Yes, that's right. And I just didn't have undies. Yeah. So I'm definitely still, I see the benefit of underpants. Great. Here's my question. And I know that I'm speaking here.

This is probably more of a guy thing. Probably more if you wear boxes, I would say, rather than like undies or a G string. But more like I wear like the, you know, the, what do we call them? Just like a short leg. Yeah. Brief. Is that what is a brief?

No, a brief is like a speedo, I think. No, no. Boxer brief, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so it's got the leg on it. Yeah. There is no need, I believe, if you're in the, and this is to everyone involved in the underpanth manufacturing game,

there is no need to make grey ones. Gray ones? Yeah. Light grey men's underwent. pants. There's no need. There is no need. Now, obviously, not every time. Like, what is the benefit of a light grey underpants? Oh, if you're interested in everyone seeing a little bit of a piss stain, you should get these. Or if you're a larger man, and it's a hot day. You've had to run and you weren't expecting to.

At the end of the day, you'll get, I mean, you're obviously going to sweat the same amount as in a black pair, but we can really see where it's sweated and it's a kind of a gnarled mess there. At the junction of the legs and the buttocks. So just go white or black? It's just like white's even worse. No, but it's for someone who might want to wear a white pant or a white chino, you don't have... Advise them not to. That's why.

That's why they did. Maybe we can get rid of them too. It's actually more the sweating situation. As a man that has friendly thighs, right? And it always has. I've always had thighs that I've never, I've never had the gap, never had a thigh gap. Yep.

At the top, on even a remotely humid day, it can get messy up there. And the grey is just, like, if you work, I'll say this, they should be completely outlawed from, like, New South Wales and above. Yeah, because it gets more humid. If you work at the, if you work at the Bond store in Darwin, and a bloke comes in and goes,

I just get a three pack of grey. I'm like, I strongly advise you don't. No, we should never. always had grey. How have you been in town for? Did you just move here? You definitely should not buy these grey underpants. While we're on outlawing certain types of boxes, yeah. Can you believe that we all wore satin boxer shorts? Oh my God, so often. Like that was the go-to growing up, you had a satin boxer short. Especially because, especially if in the 90s, you're also a skater. Yes. So you then had the biggest genes in the world. With a,

And you're trying to cinch them against Saturn. Yeah. So they were just slipping and sliding all over the place. They were the size of board shorts. They were crazy. They were crazy. And also, back then, you obviously were becoming a man and you get excited easily. And you had this satin that used to just really encouraging.

No, thank you for sharing. I was I, why was I wearing these? Yeah. Yeah, I know the enormity of how. But like you're right, there was also wailing. less privacy. Like, we're all staying over at each other's houses, flopping around, like, sleeping.

And they're just these giant openings in these essentially kind of satin netball skirt. Yeah. They're just wearing satin skirts around. They were kind of like shorts and skirt together. They say fashion kind of comes back. I don't know. That one should.

I think, and I think, I think, I think Davenport still exists, don't they? The underpants company. Maybe. They were one of the key. They obviously, Christmas, can I get some sat in Davenports, please?

A lot of the time, novelty. Yeah, Louie Chins. Yeah, Leutty Duffie Dach of mine. Unbelievable. Well, that's the other thing. If you're in Darwin at the underpants store, if you've sent the guy with, you know, with muscular thighs back with the grey three pack,

and he comes back with the silky ones, I mean, I don't think you know what you do it. I think you should be allowed to buy underpants. I think we're allowed to say that the pizza for the people, challenge is happening in the next 10 days. It's imminent. It's imminent. It's definitely like you're playing a lot of my mind.

It would be. For people to recap, Luca, who is the owner of a pizza shop in Victoria, came across you, wandered up and just said to you, hey, if you can make a better pizza than I can, I'll give you 100 pizzas. Yep.

And it was quite a cryptic. It was dusk, too, which I don't know if I mentioned in the first, telling of the story, but it kind of added a real air of mystery to it. And it got my attention because at first there was no downside proposed to the bet. There was no stake for me. It was, I'll give you 100 pieces for free, but then it wasn't like, but if I win, you have to give me your next born child or something.

It wasn't like a challenge of fairy tales that we used to. So it did seem like an all upside, neutral or upside only for home. But I also, my attention was certainly peaked at that time. I said, okay, who is this guy? Why does he think he can make the best pizza? It turns out he has won literally an award for best pizza. And this is your first ever interaction with him, wasn't it? But it got my attention, and this is something we haven't been San Luca before,

but I have made pizza before in a wood-fired oven. I have that as a skill. It's not my job, but you know our mate Vaughn, our buddy. Vaughan in America. When he was out visiting about a year ago, we're making pizzas. His stang-with, we're making pizzas in the outside oven, right? He picks up the dough and starts spinning it professionally, right? I was like, what's this? How can you do that? And he's like, oh, when I was in college, I used to work at a pizzeria called, I think it was called L.A. pizzas, but it was in Colorado. So very confusing. It was called L.A. Pizzas. They're in

Colorado and technically they made a New York deep-style pizza. It was just, it was a real mishmash of Americana, but he has taught me how to spin. This is something I was going to say for the night, but I can spin. I can stretch the dough in the air like traditionalale Italian style. And it's in my blood. I'm one-eighth Italian. It is, it felt right as soon as I started doing. I picked it up very fast. So when Lucas saw on this challenge at me, I'm thinking all these things going, I will take this on. And of course, I don't want the hundred pieces for myself. not only do none of us live near the restaurant in question. No, no, we're near it.

But we wouldn't do it anyway because we're the people show. Yep. And we want to win 100 pizzas for the people. And you just self-nominate if you feel like you're doing it a little bit rough at the moment. Or even if you just feel like, you know what, three pizzas for the family would just put a pep in our step. That's exactly why we want to do this. Yes. Well, he's now I'm motivated to win.

But I got something I want to bring up an email that came in from a man I'll just call Dicko. He called himself Dicko. He's in the food game. He has not involved in food jewels like this, but I suppose when you're in the food game every day is a battle. Could be. To win the consumers' trust, to win their repeat business, etc. He runs a food truck.

They sell smash burgers. He often goes around to breweries that might have like a tasting, like a cellar door, but not a food situation. So he's great business because after you've had a few beers and the burgers, he blocks up, amazing. He has recently started, and he said, he goes, I resisted for a while, but people kept telling me to do it. So I started doing it. He started putting MSG in his burgers.

I wonder whether you're going this way. I mean, it's not doping, but it's close. It's, it's, he's going, look, I resisted for a while, but I can't deny it. I started putting MSG in my burgers. He goes, it's been enormous. The change in attitude that customers have had, people even coming back, going. He goes, the other night he had someone to get three burgers.

The guy came back for seconds, came back for thirds, because he goes, mate, these burgers are addictive. Now, yes, it's a little bit of a hack. It's not a banned substance.

Remind me what MSG is again. It's like, it sounds like a salt. It's like a salt. It makes everything taste kind of bigger. But it gives, it's what gives like traditionally like Bay Marie food, that shiny sheem.

Yes, we discussed it, whether we put it in the dimies in the dishes. Really? Because I remember when we were kids, I remember hearing like, oh, if something's got MSG, it's bad. Yeah, my mum, whenever we ordered Chinese takeaway, I was like, no MSG. And they were like, no worries. And then 100% they just put MSG in it. Yeah. I think it is just delicious and addictive. I think that are the two things. I think society's come around a bit on it, though.

It was the devil ingredient in the 80s and 90s. But nowadays people, you know, like it has a superpower. It enhances flavor. Aren't they meant to be? Isn't it included in like a meaty type thing? How are you going to put it on a pizza? Well, that's the thing. I do think traditionally it's in, it sounds like Dicko's putting him in these burgers, like in the actual meat.

I would say if we're doing maybe a pepperoni, you could sprinkle it through. I'm not sure. This is why it's dangerous. This is why it's dangerous. This would be like at first, this would be like going, hey, I'm going to the Olympics tomorrow.

I've had a while I've had a brain snap, I am going to do steroids, but I've never done it before. Put it in my ear. I think I'm just going to, I don't know, just rub them, rub them under my armpits. Quick, quick, take them, take them. Take them. I don't know I want to do it.

Shit, I'm doing it. So you're thinking you're doing it? No, I'm not. I don't think I will. Is it consumer facing? Can you just buy it at the supermarket? I think so. Yeah.

It's just a big, I think it's not as scandalous as it was. I obviously think it's a banned substance in some way. It's not, it's not. And it's water approved. If you are at the Olympics, you can have MSG in your food. Yeah, yeah. But I think because I want to win this fairer. and square as a traditional Italian man,

I don't want to come out of this knowing that I leaned on a very non-Italian ingredient. Yes. And I would put in the same category as doping. It's food doping. I'm out. Will I use salt? You bet I will.

Heavy amounts of salt. Just not MSG. Honorable. I appreciate that. Yeah, that's great. Thank you. Thank you. This is, it feels lovely.

It feels like I've won. Just quickly then. We've gone down to, as originally we're talking around three pizzas you had two here's one we've scrapped all that it's just one pizza each is where we've arrived on i went back through all the rules we've been throwing around you get two attempts though ham that's right yeah if i don't like the way it comes out of the oven on attempt one i can commit to attempt to though i must serve the second pizza yes yes love that love people have been writing in saying aren't they going to just tell on the look of it

should they be blindfolded the jury but i think it's when you say the first bite is with the I mean, it's part of the experience. I think when you say make a better pizza, it's the all-round thing. It's the all-eat experience. So I think we quashed out. How are you feeling as the foreman of the jury, Jack? Well, I got one thing we haven't talked about with the jury is we're coming in. There's five of us?

There is five plus you. Plus me? Okay. And we're meant to be neutral so we're not going for Luca or we're not going for Hamish in particular. Though these are everyday people of the world who could benefit from. the 100 pizzas should Hamish win them, whereas they don't benefit in any way if Luke wins. Does that make the jury impartial by nature? There is some slight muddying of the water there. I'll give it to you, Jack. Well, the point of being is like, Hamish isn't going to come and

put his pizza out, and Luke is not going to come and put his pizza right. They're going to both be at the back, and they're both going to... If it happens that you could clearly tell that one's made by an amateur, are you more inclined to pick that one? Because you know there could be 100 pizzas for the community if you pick that one. Even the difference of the difference of going, are we judging the best pizza or are we secretly trying to judge which one's Hamish's pizza so that we win the 100 pizzas? Because if you think of a jury, if they were like, okay, is this man guilty or not guilty? If he's guilty, by the way, you win. You get for a hundred dollars.

Remember, for every guilty verdict, I get in my courtroom. There's a delicious pizza party afterwards, but I do not want that to sway anyone. You hear as justice fans. Yes. And we'll say, of course, we'll do a lot of like, yes, yes, neutral, neutral. But wouldn't it be nice to have a scrumptious pizza? Well, how do we fix that? I don't think, I think we are. I mean, we're trying to fix it by making it. They don't know which one they're tasting.

Yeah, I think also one to one. That was, I reckon we went some way to fixing that by, at first I was going to serve two pizzas and then there'll be his. That way, I think you could clearly tell the odd one out. And then you just vote for the other two. Now that it's just one and one, I think the margin of being able to pick will be, will be lower. You know I suggest this. Maybe this is where Jack, as the foreman, you really come into play,

and you guys all go out the back and discuss, and you have to get... Unanimous. Unanimous. That's good. And Jack, you can... You put the pressure on them to go, no, no, no, I think you're just trying to... And I remember what happened to the conclave?

Yeah, he was out there for hours. He could not get a decision made. Well, maybe the jury can't go and collect a pizza because that then does muddy the water. That's true. They're friends and family. Anyone associated with them or friends of family cannot accept one of the 100 pizzas.

Yeah, that's good. Or what about this, Jack? Everyone that serves on the jury automatically gets... One free pizza. One free pizza or two free pizzas, no matter what. Even if it's a fail, even if it's a pass.

So you remove the incentive. They've already... They get given... Do you get paid to do jury duty? You get a token bit of money. So they've already received like a payment for being on the jury, they're not then incentivised to win. That does actually feel better, Jack, to go.

I like that. You know, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, how do you find this man? You know, is he guilty remembering pizza party regardless for the jurors after the case? It doesn't have to go to jail to expect. We couldn't hit you lock this guy up for like for fencing stolen rubies. If he didn't do it, he didn't do it. If he did, he did, you're all welcome in chambers. I got 20 pizzas.

That's my. Much better. It's going to be a hoot. You don't have to worry. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamish and Andy.com.