Hamish & Andy - 346 - Pizza for the People?

Episode Date: August 26, 2026

The pizza challenge has happened: Hamish (1/8th Italian) vs. Luca (full-blooded Italian), and it came down to the wire! During Upset Andy, Andy shocks the team with a fireplace revelation about his new house, and a new, unsuspecting team member is under the microscope!  Pizza For the People Challenge - Hamish vs Luca. Upset Andy Jack Under the Microscope

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. Ahoie to me, tape in Hamish. Okay. Ahoie to you, Ando. I think we might be methods of concealing.

Is it preparing to do a drag queen show? Okay. Ahoi to me tuck away. No. A hoi to me weft. Jack. Okay. I thought taping might be something to do with painting. Like you tape before you paint if you're doing it trying to do a good job of it.

Yep. And I am... But when do you weft? Well, if you're trying to do a bad job, maybe you just fast and loose, just start wefting all over the place. I am a keratin bond. Okay, that's something to do with hair, isn't it? Well done, hey, the girls out there know exactly what it is.

Couldn't see the girl nods to, so I didn't get that. Is this a type of straightening? We are the three main professional hair extension methods. Extensions, yes. Oh, yeah, tape in sounds a bit too sticky for hair. Bexley doing the tape in lately, and then she always chose Hey, I'm not sure if I'm oversharing here, she goes, can people see the tape? And I'm like, oh, I actually can.

You can just see a little bit of tape that sits inside this. Is it just a tape? I spent my life trying to keep tape away from the kids' hair. Yeah. Because you don't put tape in your hair, I explain. I don't know the type of tape. Is it painful for her to pull it off, though? It says here, according to it, it has to be refitted every six to eight weeks.

That's a strong tape. Oh, that's a big tape. Do you wet it? Can you wet that tape? She's swimming with them. She's there. The girls out there are nodding and going, you guys are idiots. Maybe it's the strength.

Sometimes you get a band-aid on you. And it just stay. Sometimes you get ones that just you cannot make stick for lov nor money. Like two minutes later, it's just like, no, just don't have the grip strength today and it falls off the mountain. Exactly. And then other ones get that little black edge of the skin. Little black edge.

It's usually the fabric ones, isn't it? They're a little black edge and you're like, my God, you've been on there for weeks. I wonder what's under you. Maybe it's that kind of tape. Exactly. Ahoy also to Steph Jones, who is on the Sunshine Coast. She went to hamishandadden.com.

Let us know what she's up to. Wow. Hey, boys, Steph here from Sunshine Coast Private Hospital. Just relaxing in bed here after some back surgery. And I thought I'd give you an update on my latest power move of my husband. And that is that we like to do the New York Times Whirdle and Australians and connections in the morning. Yep. And he doesn't realize I've been completing them on my phone before he wakes up.

And then we do it on my iPad. Great. Together. Look like a savant. And he thinks I'm quite smart. Needless as a say, gusto to me. No, gusto. Anyone needs gusto and someone recovering from back surgery.

So full gusto. Full gusto. I love also to do, like, I love going, I'm relaxing. In hospital, not even recovering. But I think is it relaxing a better form of recovering? Yeah, she's probably gone past. She's probably not feeling so sore anymore. I reckon that's when you transition for recovery.

If the doctors came in and went, have you, you know, have you been resting? If you went, I know, I've actually been relaxing. Yeah. Oh, that's better. Oh, no, we told you to rest. Oh, okay. I thought it was a higher form of rest was to relax. Haim, it's happened.

It's happened, God. The pizza challenge has happened, everybody. Hamish versus Luca, who is a pizza, make a pizza lover. Yeah. He challenged Hamish and said, if you can make a better pizza than me, you win 100 pizzas. We headed out to his store. He had a home ground advantage. That's tricky.

And, I mean, we talked a lot about it. It was quite a hike. It was not a nearby shop. No. I've involved an interstate flight for me, and that's okay. But as we arrived, Jack, you were going to be the foreman. We had six listeners, one when I was running late, as you'll find out. They were outside, so they couldn't see who was making the pizzas.

You both had a chance to make a pizza each. Haim, you got actually two chances, but you can only serve one pizza each. That's correct. That's the rules. That's the usual rules of a pizza showdown when you have a Grandmaster versus an amateur. One thing, and I think we need to point out here to the people before you hear this is one of the, and I mentioned this on one of the previous shows, one of the whole reasons I was so, you know,

it would look like I was so courageous to take this challenge was because I have made Woodfired Pizza before. Yeah. I've stretched, I'm not a complete novice, but I think Luca thought I was. So that enticed me. Listen out to it. There is a point where Luca realizes, oh,

okay, he's not a complete amateur and it's exciting. But it was a hell of a battle. It comes down to the wire. Enjoy. As we approached Lucas restaurant La Calabresi, we saw Jack and some jury members sitting at the front on a long white table. Importantly, with their backs to the restaurant

and the kitchen so they could not see which maestro would be at work. Hello, guys. Hello, Jerry. Nice to be, hey Emma. Foreman. Hello. So Jack, isn't they meant to be...

Yeah, someone's late. I'm not responsible for that. Well, I can't control traffic of people's ability to leave on time. I can't even get that with my wife. How am I going to get it with a strange right, don't know? That's fair. How are you feeling? Look, I'll be honest with you.

I'll talk to you out of the way. In front of the jury. Don't tell us anything. We actually want to stay impartial. We don't... Good. I want you to be impartial. I want to win fair and square.

You obviously aren't going to know which one's which. You don't know if it's first or second. But just all I would say to you is... Hang on, we've got to check with this. What are we mean? No, just treat each pizza with, you know. We know how to judge a pizza. Do you?

Yes, we do. What have you told them? Have you given them a speech? I was going to when our fifth person comes. Okay. I worry that you're not going to talk to them about how to do this seriously. Why, I don't have something prepared, but I'll flow something. Okay.

Okay. Okay, Emma, I'll ask you a question. Yep. If you had to pick someone you want to win, who would you pick? I refuse to answer on the grounds that may incriminate me. Oh, that's exactly right. You just want the best pizza to win. Yes, yes, okay, that was a test and you passed it.

And do we agree that you all already have won two pizzas for a right being here today? I think we did. Yeah, Angela and you? We better because otherwise I'm walking. No, congratulations, you've already won two pieces. So that was an effort to try and make you more impartial. You don't have to rig anything. You're not trying to get further pizzas.

You're already pizza winners. Yes. You guys go start... I've got prep to do, so we won't start cooking to your... You're going to talk to Luca about, like, I don't know, safety and washing your hands and stuff. We'll talk about what the jury has to do when Keeley arrives. Maybe Hamish's secret is not washing his hand. That's the secret.

Please wash your hand. Of course. We left Jack to address the jury and headed inside to meet the man himself, Luca. Here he is. Oh, here he is. He's got his corner man with him. How are you, mate? Good.

Good to see you. Welcome, man. Andy, nice to meet you. Welcome to my humble happiness. Oh, it's amazing. It's gorgeous. Are you nervous? No.

Why should I? Why should you? Because what if I come in off the street and accidentally perfectly harness my 1-8 Italian blood? Yes. And just happened to make the best pizza? I consider that. And I promise I didn't do the mistake to understim him.

to under the steam you. I know you're full of surprise. And the judge is going to taste the flavour. So it's a very personal test. It's all about the topping. That's why I pick my best seller on the menu. Oh, yeah. Before you say what pizza you're going with, I don't want them to hear about it. But I also don't want it to influence what Hamish goes for, because I'm not convinced you thought about it. I got one question. Do you know what you're going with? Yeah. I'm embarrassed because I'm in racking my brain. rackered my brains. I haven't given a lot of thought before. I know you have. We drove out today and you were like,

gee, I better think about this pizza. That worried me. I'm embarrassed because at the moment, margarita seems like my frontrunner to make a margarita. It's a good idea. What is your pizza? I'm not going to tell you. You're going to tell me. Forget about it. One group we hoped wouldn't be engaging in skullduggery

was our trusted jury. Jack gave them their instructions. All right, jury, under your plates, you will find a score card. We don't not know what Pizza A and Pizza B is. One will be Hamish's, one will be Lukers. When you eat the pizza, first feast on it with your eyes, then your mouth, let it savor in the mouth, and then give the pizza a score out of 10. Got it.

Yes. When you have both scores, circle which pizza is the winner. Pizza A, Pizza B, hide it back under your plate, so that Hamish and Luca can't see the results here. Do you understand? Got it. Yes. Yes. Do all jury members plead to the world that they will do the right thing? Yes. Yes. Yes.

Do all jury members promise to be unbiased? Yes. Yes. Do all jury members promise to eat their pizza enjoyably? Yes. Great. Who's hungry? Absolutely. Yeah. I ate lunch too near.

to the judging. I'm annoyed by that. I even had dessert. Did you have pizza? I didn't. I had chicken and chips but with a chocolate moose on top. A dessert at lunch. I know. Must be nice. Luca wouldn't tell Hamish what he was making just yet, but he would tell me. It was, oh, I have some tomato butter ends. But you know, also I'm afraid, Auntie, if they see it looks really good, devil knows me, maybe. No, I think they make my argument. That's up to you. You can, I mean, I can't, I can't coach you.

I can't coach you, but yes, if you would like prefer to make an uglier looking pizza that still tastes delicious, that would might throw them. But don't overthink it. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Okay.

So Luca was going with a meatball pizza with egg plant chips, possibly, possibly, um, ugly looking to try and trick them. What did Haim have in mind? I think a pepperoni pizza, if he gives me access to the right herbs, can bring the house down because you know what, I'd like to put on the top of pepperoni,

a tiny bit of aniseet. Really? Okay. That's... Well, this is exciting. Just so you know, I've heard yours with 30 years. I think I prefer to eat yours so far.

Really good. Are you trying to scam me? No, we're not scaring you. All right, so now is it because I'm actually going to have, I'm going to have to ask Luca where the ingredients are. Yes, so I think now. So now we've locked in our choices. Yes.

We can reveal. And I think it's fair to reveal. I need to get, I need to ask you where these ingredients might be. Yeah, of course. So, so Luca, what, you can now tell Hamish what you're making. Yeah. He won't change. What's, okay.

I'm going to make mozzarella and tomato base. My house-made meatballs. I made a special tomato puree to put on top as well, some of the fresh starch atchatella cheese, cherry tomato confi, and eggplant chips. Shit, okay, so you're going mozzarella and stretch, two cheeses. Yeah, correct. One is fresh. Yep, yep. Okay.

I'm going to go tomato-o-o-mozarella base, a bit of pepperoni, classic. But I need access to some herbs. Do you have a spice rack? I do have something, yeah. What more spicy would you do? I like on the top of a pepperoni to sometimes put a little bit of aniseed. Do you have aniseed? Wow, I don't think I have.

I think you just realize how good that will taste, and you're lying and saying you don't have it because you know it's a winning flavor. I think that's terrible. I will give you. I will buy for you. That's why I don't have because I hate it. So he sent someone off to buy the aniseed while Lucas showed Hamish all the other pizza toppings in the kitchen. As Luca listed the beautiful fresh ingredients, I was worried Hayne might be swayed from his pepperoni and aniseed decision. Italian ham, champignon mushroom, roast chicken, artichokes.

Italian olives, zucchini, cappucc. Pass, pass, pass, pass, pass. Because you don't need any of these things. No, but although caramelized onion? Caramelized onion. I'm not saying it's going on, but the tiniest amount could... That's good. Okay, don't...

No, I'm not. Don't keep thrown by him. No, no, I'm going classic. Do you have any fresh garlic? Fresh garlic. I do. I'm going to, I'll make my own tomato base with that, but I might add a little more garlic.

All right. I have garlic as well to make it softer. I'll do that. I'll do a confier garlic. Thank you. Meanwhile, outside, Jack was bonding with the jury. Do I ask you what you do, Angela? I'm on a career break.

I used to own... Me too. I know. I used to own a company and I sold my share at the end of last years. Are you happy to be semi-retired? Yes, it's great. What a life. That's the life that you're living. I'm saying, like, how lucky we're weak.

Hamish won the toss. He'd be going first as Pizza A. It was time to draw on all my Italian heritage and make the best damn pizza anyone had seen or tasted at 3pm on a Tuesday afternoon in the eastern suburbs of Melbourne. But I was in the zone, and I don't think Luca was ready for my dough skills. I didn't make any special dough for the bag. We only use the usual dough we use. Perfect. Which is, sorry to tell you, but it's 85% hydrated sour dough.

Ooh. So it's probably, it's going to be a real challenge for you. But man, if you are able to stretch it and put it in there, let me know if happens something, you want to work with me because I never saw someone able to do it straight away without experience. I'll polish the gold medal because you're about to see it for the first time Wow I'm not joking I'm serious like wow it's taking me a lot to train my team to stretch it proper I'm a fast learner Out comes his dough yes how did you know how to do it how did he know how to do it just seems right

This is the first time I've seen the champ worried And oh what I'm expecting that he knows how to do it. It's a very delicate dough, though. It is. He does have some skills, and the champ is starting to look nervous over there, Luca, in the corner.

Oh, no, not bad. It's stretching out nicely. It's stretching out nicely. Oh, no, he's trying to do that thing where they throw it up. Oh, dear. He's throwing it up. He's catching him.

What do you think of that? I respect you. You have my respect. Oh, my God. Luca has got a safe. hat, but he did, he didn't mind taking his hat off, because Hamish did the double fist toss up in the air catch of his fists, and Lucan now knows that there's a player. He is up against an opponent. He trained at a time. He's, it's right, hey, I told you, you're

intimidated now, aren't you? I saw you look across at the register wondering how many thousands of dollars is a hundred pizzas. I know. Better regret that. Jack was using the time outside to outsource his work again on the board. Can't you just take a really popular game and do it? Yeah, like Love letter? Love letters. Yeah, have you ever played that?

Yeah, I love that. It's a great game. It's easy. Low entry point. You don't have to learn rules. Yeah. Surely you can do something. That's kind of like, the game I was thinking of is kind of similar to that.

All right, so I want 5%. My dough was stretched and ready. My special pasta with extra garlic was made and my pepperoni was sliced extra thin. Now, I just needed my special ingredient to hope. tip it over the edge. Special delivery of Aniseed if you need it, I'll pop this over here. Yes, yes, yes. Hamish has popped his pizza. Oh boy, okay. On the pizza spatula. What do you call a pizza spatula thing? The pizza pill. Pizza pill. Pizza pill. Pizza pill. This one, no. Yeah. Yeah. A pill, pizza pill. Peel. Yeah. Peel. Yeah. Peel, pizza pill. All right. I think you

just made that up. Did you know? Why did you take it so long to know what it was? You've used this all the time. Because they're English. All right. A pala in Italian. I was like, does this go own this? We are all Italian, so I'm sorry.

Give me the palla, okay, okay, okay. Okay, the aniseed has arrived in time for the delicacies around the world. This is the controversial moment. Or just how much is he sprinkling on? The tiniest sprinkling of anisele. But it's gone. It's gone in.

I love it. The peel is in, or the parlour. Oh my God. So while things were looking good in the kitchen, outside the jury, we're getting a little restless. Where are these pizzas, by the way? Points off, definitely, for how long this has taken. That's what I was wondering, did they heat the oven up before?

Because that takes like an hour. You've got to burn the wooden stuff. Can you imagine? Of course we'd fight up the oven, guys. But yes, yes, it's a lot. had been a while, and whilst Hame's pizza was in and cooking, he too was eager to get it to a hungry jury. I want to touch it, I want to touch it.

Don't touch it? No, Hame, wait for it to crisp. I mean, it's such delicate dough. Yeah, but I think it can sit for a bit. Yeah, it's not cooking soup, but I'd say this, maybe about 400, 300, 350, 350, around that. I think you want to do, just going off my pizza, actually I'm not meant to say, but my pizza oven at the beach house. I reckon he wants at least 90 seconds.

90% more. Like this. Hamish looking deep. Into the beach oven. Oh, it looks good. It looks good. What are the chances, ham, of this being the actual pizza and not the practice round? It's close.

Because there's a lot of... I've been through a few choke points and like... There's a lot of variables. The fact that you got the dough out well was impressive. He was. And then... I think this could be it. That does just so thin.

It's like I could just see it tearing or ripping. Yeah. Yeah, he's sliding it back out. It looks like there's been no disasters in the... Oh, wow. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool.

It is. Wow. I think it does have a little hole in it because it's... That's okay. You can hear it sizzling on the ground, I don't think they'll detect it. Oh, there's a hole. We can disguise it with the cutter.

I know there's cheese dripping out the bottom of the dog guy. You did break. It's got a hole in it, which I could disguise with the cutting. Hey it's pretty good. What do you think? It's impressive, to be honest. Impressive. With this dough, that would you done, it is impressive.

What do you reckon? I reckon it's bloody good. You're a good job. This is looking really good. Now, we'll cut it and send it out, yeah. Guys, I wasn't expecting that. That's good? It is.

It is good. Well done, Hayme. Better off son of my stuff. of my stuff. Better than some of your stuff. Impressive, yeah. This is a good pizza. Okay, cut that into six.

Hey, Luca, you start your pizza. Whatever he's going to go, you have my respect. You did a good job. You did a good job. You're expensive. You kick into yours straight away. Okay, good luck. Okay, good luck, Luca.

Luca jumped into action, and I presented Pizza A to the jury. Hungry jury members. Oh, mate, we are. We are hungry. What's been going on in there? There's been a lot of discussion about the rules of people cheating and etc. But I have for you, Pizza A. Wow. Well, I can say it looks good.

Yes. And because you took much longer than we expected, we are all hungry. So we're looking forward to it. It looks and smells great. Doesn't it? I don't want to lead the jury. We've all agreed to be independent. Impartial.

Score independently. Yes. So remember, pizza A, have a taste. Give it a score and then you'll know your preferred. I'll see our pizza bees going. Good luck, Jura. That's good. That's really good.

Wow. While the jury munched down on my pizza, Luca wasn't finding his own dough that easy to work with either. This kind of dough, you need to show. Look at that. I got a small hole too. What's happening here? Because I only have one shot, right?

I cannot mistake it. The jury had finished their first slice and had some thoughts. It was delicious. It was really good. I will say that. Mine was very, very, very slightly undercooked. I feel like the sauce, there was something about the sauce. Interesting.

Yeah, I definitely tasted a bit of lapsing consistency through the... Yeah. Yeah. I think a part of the crust at the back and I looked at it on the side. It looked a little doughy. Yeah. I had a nice, really crispy bit of crust on mine. Towards the back.

Which also speaks into the cooking. The cheese distribution was a little bit... Funny. Uneven. I would say my first bite was so good. But by the end, I was like, it's okay. I had the exact same experience. It was the tomato sauce for me.

It was missing a little something. And I felt like the herbs were a bit recklessly tossed. The herbs were reckless. But just tossed around like, no. Did you say fast and loose? Yeah, I would say fast and loose. Interesting. I feel like pizza B is at a disadvantage.

I agree. Because we were all so hungry. We worked ourselves up with such anticipation for pizza that pizza A gets a free kick. The first bite was. Yeah. Yeah, amazing. Uh-huh.

Back in the kitchen, Luca worked at, to be honest, lightning pace and had his meatball pizza in the oven already. Oh, wow. We just had a quick look at. Luca's pizza has puffed up significantly higher than Hamish's. But it wasn't. It's not a puff competition. He looked very light on what he put on.

What the thing is, he's doing, double cook. Ah, double cook. Now he's putting on that zucchini, strachitella, the tomato confi. So it goes into two-lay of pizza. Now they're going to think. One, going to look a beginner. Looks good but beginner.

The other one going to look a little bit more. But you know, I hope they come, they say, oh, that's the strategy. They're dropping, you know what I mean? Like, too confusing that. It's a strategy game. I think they're both overthinking it, but with a few final touches, Lucas Pizza B was ready to go. The eggplant chips being placed on, they're kind of thinly sliced,

dried out eggplant. Amongst meatballs, confi tomatoes, there's an extra sauce that's going on top. It's a very skilled. It's a skilled pizza with an advanced shopping list. This is a man right at home. Good luck to us. Good luck to both. You also have my respect.

Thank you. What a pizza. All right. Thanks. A lot of respect in the kitchen, but the power lies with our respected jury. All right, everybody, Pizza B. Ooh, okay.

Yes. Wow. There's meatballs, eggplant chips, comfy tomatoes, some stratatella and another sauce. It's hard to know if this is made by professional or someone who's trying to appear. Yeah. Yeah. Mm. Yes. Or someone that's really YouTube some things overnight. Thank you, Andy. All right. We'll let you enjoy the pizza again. Guys, we'll be back for your final scores. Thank you.

Hmm. Interesting. Yeah, I'm a bit tall. It's a bit of a curveball. It's not an easy one. Wasn't my favourite type of pizza. I was also feeling that, like, the crust was really good for a second pizza. Really good thing. But then the first pizza, the flavour, was a personal preference. Yeah.

This one got lucky because I like this kind of pizza. But it does have a little hint of someone has been on TikTok. Oh. I thought the crust on the second one was a little bit. bit burnt, at least for my piece it was. But I think that speaks to how it gets placed in the oven. Everyone can have a different piece. Emma?

I preferred the crust on the second one. Mine was better cooked. And I think I like vegetables. So I quite enjoyed the experience. Interesting. Yeah, I was the same. Preference personally for the first pizza. I like that style of pizza bitter.

Angela. The meatballs on Pizza B, I've never. had that before, which tasted 1-8 Italian to me. Okay, some mixed opinions. Both pizzas had been consumed and scored. Time for the jury to seal these Italian men's fates. You both have to stand here neutrally. We will not reveal who is pizza A or PTA B until the final results are in.

Okay. We understand. Okay? Yeah, we do. So no fist pumps, no yeses. Just stand there neutrally. Jack, do you want to direct the jury as that? Foreman? We have as a jury deliberated, but before we give our verdict individually, we'd just like to say

both pizzas were very, very tasty, so thank you for making them. Oh, that's good. Did you guys reach a unanimous decision? We know only a vibe of what each person liked. We didn't reveal to each other what we've voted for. Okay, well, starting with Keely, pizza A or pizza B? I would like to vote for pizza B. Okay. Callahan, Pizza A or Pizza B? Pizza A. Oh, Emma, Pizza A or Pizza B? We didn't plan this. Pizza B. Pizza B. Caleb? I'm Pizza A. Angela. Pizza B. Oh, it comes down to Jack. Bearing in mind you did do scores. We have previously written them down.

If there's a countback, I'll go back and to the Armaghard Safe and retrieve the score. and then be able to do the count back. Jack, are you pizza A or Pizza B? My favorite pizza was Pizza A. Oh. It's a tie. It's a tie. It's a tie.

We now go back and we count the scores. Okay, I'm going to count the scores quickly. I'm just seeing patterns with this might mean nothing, but the females amongst us voted for Pizza B, the men voted for Pizza A. Interesting. Not often are the accused left with the jury without the judge. This is very intense.

You feel like you should be making a case. But the judge did soon return to deliver the final verdict. I have the count back results. Pizza A received 47.5 points. That's out of 60. Out of 60, yeah. Pizza B received 45 points, some 2.5 lower, making Pizza A, the winner. Hamish Blake.

Oh my God. Pizza A! 100 pizza for the pizzas. Pizza for the people. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Wow. Wow we. That we must say they were both. brilliant people. One-eighth Italian, what can I say? Ciao. Grazie meale, grasse mealy, chican, chate.

The Italian bloat work it out. 100 pizzas for the people. 100 pizza for the people. Well done. Well done, Hame. Just unbelievable. Now, look, I think it's also, it's a fascinating sport, pizza jewels.

I'll say this up top, in case it wasn't clear enough. What a legend Luca was. I mean, he let me use his dough. And I know we said that kind of had to happen because you'd be very easy to tell which pizza was which if I had to make my own dough. But when I was talking about the dough,

it's like he spent years developing that dough. And so it's really, you know, you've got to tip your hat to go a lot of the pizzas of the dough. Yes. But I feel like I beat him tactically. Yeah, I do feel like I beat him tactically. I mean, when we got there,

it was like it was kind of a chilly afternoon and you're feeding hungry people pizza. I mean, going first was a huge advantage. It was a great to win. Winning the toss was an enormous win for me, Ando. And I also need to admit something. The idea of putting aniseed seeds on pepperoni, not my original idea. Well, actually it is, but not deliberately original.

Because there's a pizza place in Sydney, people would know Bella Bruder. Like, it's out west. I think it's probably the best pizza in Sydney. Well, I like Pinoes, but they also don't like ZO Pinos. If you can't be at Zio Pinos, they do a Pia. It's a, turns out I'd misremembered because I went there last night. They do a pepperoni. It's actually fennel they sprinkle on, not aniseed.

Oh, so I kind of misremembered that. And so I've gone for this avant-garde ingredient, misremembered it. I didn't sprinkle too much on. It was up. So as you get it still, I don't know, pretty similar aniseed and fennel, but I do have to, just in case, you know, the powers that be a bellabruder or a listing and going, I'm pretty sure that's our idea. I stole it off you guys, and I won.

I won Fren Square, and we have won 100 pieces for the people. You and I thought exactly the same thing when it came down to Jack with the deciding vote. I just knew. I was like, there's no way that simple boy. He's going to go for something with Strachita Tula, a meatball, an eggplant chip. He is a pepperoni boy, and that's why I did it.

He's a Ninja Turtle. He's a little bit of pepperoni. And that's again, Luca left his flank open. You've left it over here for someone to win with a crowd pleaser. 100 pizzas are available for everyone to go. How are we want to run at him? Head in.

Look, we just said to Luca, I don't know how you're going to do this. It's not a system that many pizza shops are up for, but this is the way we think it should work. You just have like a little tab next to the cash register. That's like the Hamish and Andy 100 pizza tab. And anyone that's in the area that's like near, Or wants to travel there. I guess the system is they're good until they're gone. You do have to assume the risk. If you travel there and go, hey, we're here to eat one of the free pizzas from Hamish and Andy and they're gone, it would be polite for you to stay and still order a pizza.

Yeah, yeah. But I think it's just essentially like, don't be greedy. Don't abuse the system. You know, don't take 99 clients with you. No, it's a two pizza or per person max. Is it? Or do we just want to go like take it as needed and just leave it up to people's decency? Okay. It doesn't sound like you do want to leave it up to people's decency. There's a loophole for the 99 clients. All right, two pieces max.

We'll check it with Luca in future weeks and see how they're going. Well done, hey. And these keep coming in, hoaring in. and I print them off and then put them loosely in an in tray that's... If no particular order? I put them, if the in tray is flat,

I kind of let them spill out a bit onto the desk because they are upset Andy's. Everything is neat and practical because that's the way he likes it. But what if it wasn't? Upset Andy. Can I throw... I know this is Upset Andy, but the please Andy thing.

You get it once a year on your birthday week, which of course it is always your birthday year, but on your birthday week, you do get, we need to get to pleasure, Andy. Beck and I are looking at a lot of different kind of joinery and appliances and stuff. Oh, yeah, okay. There's so many specific. You need most of the available joinery on the Eastern Seaboard. There's so many, like, perfect compartments these days for different things. Yep.

You know, like within the fridge, without the fridge. And like, even when you go to, like, kitchen cabinets, they've got drawers for everything. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you would love it. I'm loving it. So, yes, I'm on that high at the moment. It'll be tough to upset me.

Do you get private viewings or are you in the shop or? I'm just saying, like, you know, how excited can you get? Don't say with such an every man. Yeah, I've been in the shop. I was in a shop. The size of the place your furnishing does not give you common man stuff. Mate. They would be, that would be, that would be, that would be,

lying internationally for one second of an audience with you. If we land this job, it's 65 square kilometres of kitchen. If we land this benching job, we are set. Quick question, no mucking around. How many fireplaces do you have? Because last time I walked through, I lost count. Unless you hire a professional firelighter, it's like Game of Thrones in there. I was shocked to hear that Andy had any other lighting going into the house.

figured with this many fireplaces you've gone from medieval feel. He's right. You won't say the number. You won't say the number, will you? It's up. It's up. It doesn't. Whoa.

That's all, there will be castles with less. Castles with less. Huge. Four inside, two outside. Yes. Any in the dogs room? No. Two outside fireplace.

What, you've got a front yard one? No, we've got like a little. By the time you light one, then you get in the golf cart, drive all the way in the backyard and you like that one. You have to go back to the front and keep throwing logs on it. We've got outside a little Argentinian grill. You know where you can hang meats? Oh, yeah.

That's what I'm excited about. And then we've got like... It is a King's Castle, isn't it? It is a King's castle. He's flaming a boar that he's bo-hunted earlier to give to all his preferred knights. And it's right on the river, so it's almost like a moat around the little half of the building. The Yarra has been repurposed as a moat. We'll now know it as Andy's moat.

That's where the... The other one is it's like a little fire pit down there so you can see it beside the river. The guards keep warm. The soldiers on the front gate. Andy's the two guys with crossbows having to lazily man the note entrance. All right. Well, not you. The jester.

Both little jesters can come around whenever you like. Thank you so much. Yeah, bought up from the six floors below from the dungeon, dance for the king. Stephen, Stephen, have you got something to upset Andy? Don't tell me that you work at a fireplace company and you've only got four available. No, no. Yes, so my upset, Andy, I've got a home automation setup at home, like the Google speakers. Yeah, no, nice.

there's like smart bulbs and you can voice command the TV and that. And I've got a smart kettle as well. Oh, wow. So you can turn the kettle on just with the voice command. How many kettles do you have? Yeah, well, well, that's it right. So I've got, I've just got the one kettle. I can't imagine how many Andy will have in his new home, but I've just got the one.

But the speakers, it's set up wrong. And so it thinks there's multiple kettles. So when I say boil the kettle, it says which kettle. And I don't even know what to answer. Like, it doesn't have a name or anything. That doesn't work. Instead of, like, fixing that, I just say, Google, boil all the kettles in the kitchen. And does it work?

It does the trick. There you go. You've just got one extra layer in there. This is such a few serious. Absolutely. I would, yeah, I would absolutely fix that. I'd be going, okay, straight away, I'd be trying to work out why it thinks there's more, and I'd be resetting it.

I do like the command of, it is set to Andy Lee mode. Boil all cattle and house. But, sir, there's not enough power on the grid. Do it. Yes, your majesty. Stephen, thank you. Daniel. Ahoy, boys.

Ahoie, boy, mate. Hello, mate. And the little boy, how you going, mate? Aoy, Daniel. That's good, mate. That's good. Okay. What have you got to upset Ando?

Okay, well, my granddad is a bit of an odd, odd fellow and he actually, when he has a sore eyes or maybe a bit of an earache, he doesn't tend to put the right stuff in. He just thinks, well, if I've got sore eyes, I'll put my ear drops in there, that's right. And if my ears are sore, put your eye drops in. He thinks when he's approached about it, he just says, well, they're all just holes in your head, so they're going to connect up eventually.

Ointments or ointments. Ointments. That, yeah, no, I'm not doing that. That's wild. I mean, I don't think you have. as a fast and loose comrade. Maybe accidentally, but if you had both, you wouldn't put ear drops in your eyes.

I don't know. But they'll connect up. Yeah, they do connect up. But that's not the basis of head medicine to go. If it connects, if it connects, it takes the same. I recognize that being an E&T, obviously, is a long degree, I'm sure. And if I have a hearing problem. If I don't connect to the ears,

ears, nose and throat, that's what that stands for. That's right. But if so if you were like, I'm going blind. I wouldn't go and see the E&T and go, come on, mate, it's all holes. They're all going to connect in there eventually. Throw some nasal spray in your ears. An ophthalmologist. Medical fast and looseness is the wildest frontier of fast and looserism.

A nasal spray in the ear. It's not crazy. I don't think that's one, but... No, but that doesn't sound as crazy as an eyedrop, oh, sorry, an eardrop in your eye. Why don't you give it a go? I won't, but thank you for offer. If you had a block to you, because doesn't it, nasal spray,

sort of dries everything out. Can't imagine, and again, this isn't medical advice, but I can't imagine a suitor-fid spray in your ear. You had a blocked ear. I can't imagine it doing too much damage. Worse comes to worse, it could dry everything out and it could all just fall out. No, no, no. That is that... I'm not medical advice. It's a medical

wonder. An experiment. Thank you, Daniel. Jack, go-hoi. Hoi. Gosto to you, two big boys and one little boy. And also to you. Thank you, Jack. All right. So I've got a stand-up desk at work, and at some point one of the legs, obviously, it's got two mechanical legs. At some point, one of them got slightly bugged, and it sits about five centimeters lower than the other leg. So the whole desk is sitting at about a 10-degree angle all the time. But happy days, I've got a four-way monitor arm, so I just kind of angle that the other way,

counteract the angle. So the desks, the screens are still in line. The neck's happy, the eyes are happy, the hands just kind of figure it out. Yeah, just got a keyboard slope. I, yeah. That's exactly why they build monitors with an adjustable... Not exactly why they do it. They expect it to be on a level spot. They prefer it.

But they're set up to go. Otherwise, you just wouldn't be able to adjust the monitor. That one's probably the most annoying so far. Yeah, I'm not doing prizes. Who's got time to get down, get out your desk leg toolkit and fix that? Charlie, Charlie, ahoy, gusto to you. And hopefully rage to Andy. Yes, I think we might have rage here

because I consider myself fairly fast and loose, but this even got me, so we'll see how we go. So I've got a colleague at work who she is very fast and loose and certainly puts me to shame. In the other week, it was spicy hot. We take a lot of clients out for dinner and things like that, and she's at the company for over 15 years and has just never ever learnt her PIN number to her corporate.

card. Never reset it, never bothered. Normally not an issue. You can know, you can just tap away things under a hundred bucks. For most of us, you consider a bit of an issue when the bill is $2,000. And in front of the clients, she just asked, can you just do multiple $99 transactions? I'll just tap away at it, thanks. 20-99 transactions. And then I guess number 21 is you just clean up the rest? Yeah, a little chip at the end.

Yeah, so we just sat there and witnessed it for about 10 minutes. Beautiful. Oh, Charlie, I love that. I mean, I hate it. The system works. That is a great workaround. All right, Charlie. I feel like we go one more.

Alex, a hoy to you. Ahoy, boys. How are we? Yeah, good. We're very good, mate. Okay, so I drive a 2001 Holden Commodore, and you guys might remember in the early 2000s, if you let the battery in your car go flat,

you have to put a radio code in. Oh. Don't remember. In your car radio. In the car radio. Yes. Like it resets it. It was like an anti-deaf.

Yeah. Security device. So people that had to take it out once you've, once you re-inserted it in your stolen vehicle or someone else. Yeah, got you. We're doing the car radios where you can detach the face. One of those. Yes, that's right.

Yeah. Okay. With buttons. Yeah. So I lost my radio code. I don't know where it is. Sure. I mean, it's been 25 years.

But I actually worked out that if you click the number one four times in a row, the radio will come into like a test phase. So the test phase lasts for about three minutes before the radio then shuts off. So while I'm driving, I can listen to my radio for about three minutes and then it's back to nothing. So I'll just click the number one four times in a row each time it shuts off until I'm at my destination. Just jump up credits. Does it remember your presets? Like, do you, or do you have to retune the radio quickly to find your favourite?

It does remember my presets, luckily. Oh, right. So you come straight back to where you were. You just miss, you know, say the middle aid of Ariana Grande's latest song and then you straight back in there. That's right, yeah. Do you ever take, like, if it's hitting ads or something, do you ever go, well, I'll just give it a rest and I'll come back in a few minutes because I don't need to dip back in for

three minutes of ads? Yeah, well, you can do that. I can sit in silence for a few minutes and then click my ones and, and, where, back into it. It's pretty good. It's not good. It's not a bad workaround though. Like, what a hack.

Yeah. Alex, that would absolutely infuriate me. I wouldn't notice after a while. Thank you, mate. It's about four clicks to get to work. All right. Yeah, there you go. Four times.

Lerce is sitting in the car, figuring out the pin. That could take years. Well, and he is just on his way. No one's got time for that. Love it. Haim, from time to time, we like to put someone in our team under the microscope. Information is power, and we like to use that power responsibly. But I was going to say, you know, to hear their side.

Yeah. Not often. Often it's just to make them hear what we heard. Exactly. Let's do it again. You're out of the microscope right now. A powerful microscope. We're all going to be under a microscope.

You know what? I think maybe it's time you put Jack. Under the microscope. Oh, no, Jack, with the head shake. He knows the switcheroo has been pulled. It's not Darcy under the microphone. I think he knew when we didn't set up another microphone for Darcy. Because you're always so good at it.

And then I said, do you need Darcy's microphone? You go, nah, we'll just share one. The first time you knew we've been last day about something on the podcast. Can't see us needing it. We encourage anyone of our listeners. When they see us in the wild, and they see something quirky, report back. And then we can talk about it

because obviously we can put up a front public facing when we do our shows, etc. When someone sees it in the wild, maybe they're seeing our true cells and it's nice to report on. Jack, this one came in from Josh and he said, I think we need to put Jack under the microscope.

Would you like, do you know what this is about, Jack? Would you like to admit ahead of schedule? I will be doing no self-reporting. but I can't even think of what it might be. He says, I was listening to the latest pod where Darcy was under the microscope, and he referred to Andy and Jack as both being dog owners. And it reminded me of the time when I saw Jack walking his dog. I think you boys will both be interested, microscope worthy.

I always pick up the poo. It better not be a poo. Josh says, I was kicking the footy around with my dog. when I noticed Jack arrived the park with his dog walking at a very slow pace. That's all right. You can meander with your dog because you're not in a rush. He looked like an extremely disgruntled dog owner.

A few minutes later, I noticed that Jack and his dog were no longer at the park. I thought to myself, that was a quick walk. But didn't think much of it. until five minutes later I see Jack walk back into the park without his dog but now with a golf club and a handful of golfs

after the shortest of dog walks after the shortest of dog walks I've ever seen Jack dropped his dog off at home at scenes and came back to practice chipping hitting golf balls at a public football oval full of kids and dogs

for the next 30 plus minutes. Wow, time Luna would have loved to have spent chasing sticks. It's her own fault. If she didn't chase the golf balls, we could both spend the day down there together. But she tries to chew on them and then she wrecks them. And it's, so I can't take her. So she gets five minutes.

Like people in maximum security prisons get more yard time than that. It happens like this every time. It's like, I'm going to go, he chips some golf balls. Then I'm leaving the house. And she knows, you know how the dogs just know, your energy when you're leaving the house and going to the park. And so I'm like, well, you can't come because you chew the golf balls. I don't understand you.

Let's, I'll take you for a quick, brisk walk. I'll have a look at where I'm going to. Take you. Take you to Disneyland. We're not going in. I just look at all the other kids having a ball. I'll just do a selfie, send it to Bianca. And then I can walk the dog off my list of my strenuous work day.

And then I'll practice my short game. Yeah. Is this a regular occurrence? I'm not chipping the golf balls as much now, but now that we've got a different problem as my son's getting to an age where we can go and kick the footy. Of course she sees that we pick up the ball, she runs to the front door, she thinks she's coming.

I have to go, give her another fake walk, come back in, get the footy, get my son, and we go over and keep the footy, or else she just choose it. So, but why take it to the park then just to look at it all? She gets like, we get like, I try and do one lap of the Oval. Yeah.

I try to do one. Man, if they invent dog VR goggles, she's in big trouble. Just me like, all right, here we go. I'm just going to pop these on you. You can imagine what it's like to go for a walk. Wouldn't this be fun to have an owner that takes you around? I wish, honestly, I think about it every day almost that if you could just understand, you would get so much park time if you didn't grab the ball.

And we've tried taking other balls, but she wants the one that you're playing with. So you can take a tennis ball, throw it to her, she'll come and, you know, bring it back to you, but then as soon as you start kicking a footie, she wants the footy. Yeah, it's her fault. Yep. Did she get other walks? Yeah, I mean, sometimes I just take her on a dog walk, but if it's, but a lot of the time, she just gets a shore. Wow.

No, the other day, she gets a really long one. A dog-only walk. Yesterday she got a big, chunky, chunky 45-minter. Yeah, right. To make up for the last four months. She has over a heart attack, 45 minutes. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at hamish and Andy.com.