Hamish & Andy - 349 - Hamish’s Paints the Mona Lisa

Episode Date: September 16, 2026

The first prize for The Price Is Correct is revealed - plus, find out how you can apply to be a contestant! Hamish & Andy reminisce about the extraordinary moment that unfolded during their weekend away at a “very special painting club”. And after Jack’s new personal assistant Daultaugh meets his boss for the first time, he reports back to Andy with his thoughts. 1. How to enter The Price Is Correct 2. Hame’s amazing art weekend 3. Jack’s board game assistant 

A listener production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. Ahoy to me service alas. Hamish. Okay. Well, it is a, that is a service we aim to provide here in Latin.

And it could almost be our Latin motto. Let us serve you through laughter. Service Alaphas, the Hamish and Andy show. We should get blazers with a crest. Well, then this particular thing would be on the crest. Ahoidemi dama, Dama, Jack. Wait, so the things that make up a crest, like shield? No, no, I'm just saying if we were putting a crest together,

this thing, you would have to be our mascot now. Service a laugh. What am I, Adama, dama? Yeah. Okay, play on. And I am a Rusa Unicolor. These sound like either... Are you saying words backwards?

No. Okay. These are obviously the scientific names of three types of something. And they aren't native to Australia. Are they birds? Is the Cuckabar, the Lafuss? That's a great question. No, they are.

Hamish, you and I... I know we didn't. We saw a few of these in search for its bigger brother in New Zealand. Bad, bad, bad clue. Are they dears? Yeah, we are the three main deer species of Australia. Hame, the service alaphas, is the red deer. One of Australia's best known introduced deer,

and you're a fallow deer, Jack. Widespread, but particularly in our South Eastern Australia. And I'm a Samba deer, the Rusa Unicolor. And what's the Samba deers? They run faster, jump higher. Usually you are the best deer. The largest deer species in Australia. Interesting.

Large dark brown deer with a shaggy coat, prominent ears and large branching antlers on the males. It is a common, yeah, you're right. I mean, I don't think we'd have it as our crest. I don't think we'd have the deer as the crest of the show. No, but the service laughus is the red deer. That'd be the one would have to put on. Why, I mean, is it laugh?

Is it spelt like laughter? It's, or elipus, but that was told. No, no, that's fine. I just, not their most hilarious animal. That's what I'm just saying, I don't know why it gets laughter in its name, because it's just not a funny animal. I was told to emphasize the laugh aspect of it through pronunciation,

but I would have pronounced it Elephus. Yeah, gotcha. My favourite part of this is any time it is like a different language or Latin or something, your face of the nerves. Nervous. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And coming with having to pronounce the different language. He is deferring to the Latin telling us that we're getting to the end of three things,

and there's not that many three things loved. There is no way to get to the end of three things, Jack. You're mistaken this. You're just mistaken. Liza out there went, maybe. No. Jack, you're just mistaking what is, and I think I speak for the listeners as well,

a kind of a boring one. You're just mistaking this feeling of having a non-exciting one. There's no interest to this. We're just three years. I mean, Twilight people were the last week. I thought that was too easy. But is it just because how much? I do.

I disagree where now we're setting a precedent where if we can just do things in other languages. I'll do it. I'll do it. I'll do no scientific names for the rest of the year. For the rest of the year. Thank you. Lines is so devastating. For a second there, she was like, oh my God,

I've got the rest of the year off, and now the rest of the years just got harder. What she was thinking is like, oh, just go back to the start of the list and we'll do it in Japanese and start of the list and we'll do it in Chinese, start of the list, do it in Greek. Well, it's scientific names, and it's not different languages. Yeah, this isn't just, it's not in Klingon, we haven't just gone. He's three different names for chairs.

But I think, no, I'm with you, Jack. It's a tough one. It's a tough one to get the three things right. It is. You have to admit when one feels a little vanilla, because you're looking for that little special something, I mean, you want it to be achievable, but you want to maybe learn a little bit with it.

Yeah, that had neither. The, I also to Cassie and Jethro, they're in Australia, went to hamishaney.com, uploaded the audio. Very easy to do it there if you go there. To tell us what they've been up to. Ahoy, Hamish and Andy. Ahoy, boys. It's Cassie and Jethro here.

We got married six months ago and we thought we'd head out to celebrate our half anniversary. We're heading to Melbourne and listening to your podcast and we just heard you'd won the Pizza Challenge, Hamish. So we are swung into La Calabrese to get ourselves some pizzas. It's five o'clock and the podcast episode was released yesterday and there's only six pizzas left. Hamish. Thanks for shouting us dinner, mate.

We really believe that you're the people's people. And you got very lucky with that, Anisead, by the way. I did. I did. I did. But that's the game. That's a pizza jewel. Pizza for the people. All right.

So I think they ran out in like a day. Would have been just over 24 hours because, yeah, they'd have just been there. They were a day later, hey? Fantastic. What a triumph. And the fact that they've adjusted a road trip, which wouldn't have included heading out to the Endeavour Hills,

the deep, deep east suburb of Endeavour Hills, and they've got themselves a free pizza. I can't recommend it highly enough. The feeling you get knowing, because it's different, like, you know, we all like doing things for other people. If you just donate money, it's like, okay, I helped out with a good cause,

but to know you've donated pizza, it's tangible. It's just something, you can imagine. Yeah, it just feels great. Yeah, I can understand that. It feels great. I don't know, they want to do it again. I don't know.

Pad Thai for the people. I don't know. We have a game show coming up. The price is correct, which is very exciting. Price is correct. Featuring the tipping point. We don't know if we... Because we still haven't figured out in the format,

will the whole game be the tip-in point? Yes. Or will there still be the price's correct component where we're guessing prices? Yes. And then you don't want to get it wrong because you approach the tip-in point. I don't mind having two game shows merging as one.

I don't mind that at all. Lots of shows. I mean, hey, hey, it's Saturday, had red faces in the middle of it. That's true. You can always have the strongest segment of a show within a show. And also, I think the tipping point would be. It protects us a little bit because if we get prices right coming out of us going, hey, that's our show.

Be like, what are you talking about? A, we'd change the name to prices correct. And B, where's your pool? Yeah, where's your pool, mate? And if we get Man O Man, who I feel like we do need to constantly remind people what Man O Man is a game show from the 90s that feature pushing hunks into a pool. Yes. A pool still exists.

Somehow it's never been used since that show and we're going to get access to it. Used ones by Nicholas Cage. Nicholas Cage has been in the pool, which is awesome. If Man O Man comes and goes, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, boys, out of respect to the industry never touched that pool again because that's our pool. Yeah. You're like, what are you talking about? Nick Cage is correct.

Oh, yes. So we can really play off everyone. And then if the host of the tipping point, which I believe is Andy, Todd Woodbridge. Yep, great. If he comes at us and goes, boys, what am I hearing about the tip-in point? It's a pool-based game. It's more man-o-man. Man-o-man goes, I heard that.

Go, Robert, talk. Private conversation with a Woody. Not really. In the pool you go. Anyway, it just covers us. By that time, the show's done. Yeah. Exactly.

And it's a one-off game show. Hame rings me during the week, Jack. and goes, you know what, if any other radio show in the world had $75,000 of giveaways, they would be pumping, oh my God, that's a huge price for radio. Particularly these days,

they would be promoting the heck out of it and there'd be some kind of thing to drive more listeners because that's what they do. They do these cash and prizes to try and get more lists for ratings, etc. Think about back in the days we're on radio. Sometimes it would be, you know, like,

and this is great and good on them for going, you know, we'll pay your bills, like all day long, you know, we'll pay a $200 phone bill, $200. And all day long, they're trying to make more people listen to win that $200. Here we are sitting on a $75,000 prize hall. And we're actually not telling anyone what it is. We're not leveraging it for more audience. Now, a lot of people go, well, that's good on you. That's nice that you're above that.

We're not above that. No, we've done needing that. We don't love that at all. I don't think we're better than that. We should be leveraging this for more listeners. Yes, yes. 100% we should. So what do you do?

That's what we came up with. Yeah. So if you head to hamish and any.com, you'll see a link there where the application form is to be a member of the audience and your chance to win the prize pool. Or some of the prizes or, you know, have a crack at winning. Yep. You've got to be in the audience to win the prize. during the game show. Yep.

But if you get wet, that's all you get. You get wet? We're sticking with that. Yeah, I like that. So you'll have to, on 25 words or less, as you fill out this form to be a chance to be an audience member, you'll have to write,

who have you also enticed to listen to the podcast? Or how... Should we make it 50 words? Yeah, 50 words. Or how do you propose to get more audience to the podcast? That's good. Yeah. How are you getting the show out there?

What are you doing to boost numbers? Yep. As an additional click bit of video, upload. Yeah. We thought it would be good to put up a video of you getting pushed into a pool or a body of water just to prove that you can swim because the health and safety people are coming at us hard, Jack.

It would make a difference for the insurance and the safety people I'm hearing if we said, hey, look, we have a video of Jeff being pushed in the pool. He's a great contestant. He showed us he could do it. He wanted to go in the water. He's got shoes on. It's not a problem. Because in watching a bunch of old shows back deal or no deal, prices right, etc.

There are some very old men and women that they get to play those games. And I'm just not sure. We don't want to push them in the pool. Well, I just feel like if they get close to the tip in point, pushing Grant in and not being at a retriever. Yeah, that's true. Having said that, we don't want to discriminate. It's not live. It's not live.

We can edit that out. Yeah, bring a stunt person in to put Grant's clothes on. and we just shoot... I was meeting editor out. All right. We could just like stop the record, stunty comes in, gets dressed in,

Grann's clothes, puts a wig on, and then we just shoot it from behind or with a fast one. Okay, so we have another tick box saying, I'm not a strong squeam,

but I would like the stunt double. Because everyone's going to do that. Everyone's going to do that. But we'll just say, video or request a stunt double. Nah. Because then it's just, yeah.

Because the videos, then you've got to get a friend to fit. You've got to upload it. You've got a better chance if you've got a video. If we sniff that you aren't the kind of person that needs a stunt double and you're just requesting this so you can say you've had a stunt double, we're probably not going to invite you. Yeah, exactly.

I'd like to see people willingly able to go in the pool. But if it's like, to not discriminate. Marjorie Dorim, you know, Fidleston, 87 years old. Yeah. She's great TV, but she doesn't want to go to the pool. And she ticks, I will request a stunt. Oh, that's probably fair for Marge.

Do you know what? If you take you want a stunt double for the pool, there's another 50 words or less to explain why you think you need a stunt double. Bearing in mind, we're probably going to have a max of two stunt double pushes on the day. So you're doing yourself into service here. You're now in a much smaller pool of people that don't want to go in the pool. And then one more question. Will the health and safety people who don't want us to push people in the pool on the day

have any problem with you encouraging people to go and feel? themselves pushing their friends into a body of water now. They don't because we're not in charge of that pushing. That's voluntary. That's not a condition of entry. No. We're just going to say that could help your application. Yes.

It's not completely necessary. We're not asking you to do that. And I'm sorry, I was a bit ages before. There are 80-year-olds that would be very comfortable being pushed in a pool. Absolutely. Yeah. These might not be, you know, there might be some that aren't. Yes.

So maximum two stunt doubles. I think that covers that. What else we need? The actual format of the show, we'll figure that out. What about this? Here's the other thing I wanted to bring up. I know we liked the idea of like just waiting until we record the game show to reveal all these prizes,

but I've got... It goes back to the radio thing. It's like when you've got a prize, you talk about it non-stop. I don't know why we bring this up, but I just remember Ando, one of our years on radio, they were given away Kelly Clarkson's convertible. Yeah.

I felt like that contest went for nine months. It just went forever. They didn't go, we're given away a special something that it's owned by a special someone. No. Really let you know it was Kelly Clarkson's convertible. Yeah, exactly. So I think we have to start talking about the prizes, and that will encourage more people to click on the form, apply and click. And even if you're an

unconfident pool for a lot, it might give you time to go. Okay, yeah, I don't love my chances of being one of the only two selected that will be using a stunt double. I'm going to take survival courses, pull survival courses to put me in, because if we say it was about 134 people in the audience,

that's the bleachers number. Something like that. Yeah, yeah. They're like, I want to be in the 132 that are willing to, you know, go in the pool by themselves. Can we also, with the people that select stunt double, it is assumed that you,

you're bringing the same pair of clothes twice or that you're happy for us to dress you on the day because I don't think... No, you don't... I think... I mean it's just a bit of a stop down. Well, if they want them to get out of their actual clothes and then put it on the...

Man can wander off, get in a robe and then the stunt... What do you think? We have to give us... All right, if you're doing stunt double, yeah, fine, bring doubles. And give us your dimensions. It'll be quicker.

It'll be quicker because time is money. This is like... Dietary requirements. We're like, guys, this is so much... easier for this. Yes. No dietries. But this is like, okay, we need your dimensions too, because if Nan's 5 foot

nothing and we've got, you know, Rachel, who's the stunty and she's 6 foot six. Yeah. People are going to know. But we don't want people to know. We don't want people to know there's a stunt double. That's true. We'll never reveal it. By the time the broadcast goes online, we shouldn't be able to tell as a viewer who the stunt

double is. Yeah. Okay. Maybe we'll reserve one of the prizes and go play along at home for everyone if you accurately guessed who the stunt double push in was. I think you'll be obvious. A bit of home interaction.

You show no faith in the stunt community, Jack, and you show you no faith in our... Well, I'll just look for the one that's shot far away and blurry. If no one picks it, the stunt double gets the price. Yep. Great, great. Okay.

Okay. You've got to put this, you've got to just check this stuff off. The other thing we were thinking of doing was do I announce, yeah, every week, one of the prizes. So there'll still be a lot of mystery prizes left. But just to give people a little taste. How many? I've got 30 prizes, don't we? Yeah, there's 29.

So if you do one a week for the next 10 weeks, that takes us to the show. Still a lot of surprises. I'm also, do you know what? Because I only looked at the list like last week. And I was like, man, there's so many things on here because it was a frenzy. I actually felt the pressure to just pump out some prizes. One I think is bland. Okay.

Do you want to stricken it from the record? I want to sell it. Okay. I'll sell it on Marketplace. I know we're going to take a hit. But then I also saw something awesome on Instagram the other day. I was like, I wish we had more kitty. Yeah, right.

Okay. So you're going to sell it and buy something new. Do you know what? We're in the room doing it. In the room was like me and Carly. She was doing a lot of the admin. Yeah. Should have seen him, Jack.

Cambo is filming. And I'm like, you know, I was. like for a second because Instagram couldn't give me ads fast enough. So I'm bouncing out to other websites and things. I'm like, what do you guys want? What do you guys want?

I'm not having you got Canbo here, but he goes, what about those TVs like a frame TV, a flat TV? So I'm like, boom, bought it. But then after I'm like, that's, again, I appreciate people want TVs, but it just doesn't feel incredible.

It feels like a normal game show. Exactly. Very normal. I'm going to be selling that in the background and reinvesting the funds. So we're going to take a little. little haircut on that because I paid full retail. I think I just went straight to a retailer.

Yeah. But I think for what I can reinvest, it'll be better. Great. I like that. And if anything else just feels not right to me, I'll probably, you know, I'll sell those, reinvest the product. So there's going to be a little bit of that going on in the background. How much you sell on the TV for?

No, Jack. No, no, Jack. You might want it. Hey, Jack, did he live? I think we've already this already, but. On Hamish, my first TV show, which is in the exact same studio, which got acts.

We had a contest during it, and they came down and said, hey, we're giving away a, I think it was a TEC. Yeah. Whatever, whatever. Something like that.

JVC, one of not the top tier electronics brands. Yeah, we're giving away a JVC television. And can you please say that you win the JVC 40-inch television? And we're like, oh, great, do we have a sponsor?

And they went, no, but we'd like to make it look like we had. So we're gone and bought. We're going to buy it. General 7 is buying it. I was like, so wouldn't you be happy if you're from JVC, it looks like you're getting an ad or whatever? Yeah, they'll be delighted. A, they've got a sale and a free ad.

Well, that's kind of what we've done on this. We spend our own money buying these products. And did that work? Did it encourage other sponsors to come aboard? because they saw the JBC. We'll go on by then. Academics. It would be a nice case study to look at,

but yes, we burnt the house down before they had time to find that out. Can I say this then, to anyone whose products we've bought, if you feel that we've done a good job presenting the brand, you can retrospectively pay us. You can reach money or product.

Pay no money. You can reach out so then we can put it back into the kid to do more fun things. So if you feel like you did get a bit of worth, be good, be kind. I should answer that. It's going to be so slim. Well,

imagine that could have got Jacks running the company. Hmm. I did like that. I thought they could have done better. I'm not going to open the checkbook on this occasion. We might be surprised. Yeah, we might be. And doesn't that open up a new area of concern

because we weren't allowed to mention who the sponsor of the game show is. So if someone retroactively goes, yes, that was my frame TV. I consider that a sponsor. Here's the money. Now we've again had a sponsor on the show competing. with the primary sponsor. Oh, yeah, we've accepted money for a brand we did mention. Maybe just under the table.

Do you want to just do that? Yeah, absolutely. We'll just go la Jack, like preferred method. So when you go around to Jack's house, why are the table so high? I prefer. So there's more space under the table. The dealings.

Hey, more price. That tables are dealing at the roof? Yes, another table under the table. under the table where we can meet, catch up, show each other laptops. Okay. What prize we have today? First prize reveal.

All right, here we go. Here we go. It's jam here. Table tennis training robots. Table tennis training robots. Table tennis training robots. From what I remember, the Omni S Pro

table tennis ball picker is a robot from a company that makes table tennis robots. Think of it like a little tennis ball machine that fires balls over your side of the table so you can hit them back. But, again, from what I remember, there's sort of like a net system behind the table that catches the balls you hit back, returns them sort of a feedback down, back into the robot, and it just keeps pung and balls at you, and you can train table tennis by yourself.

Pretty good. I love that. I can't say how much it is. No. Because obviously it could feature in one of the games where you have to guess the price, but let me just say this, it's more than you'd think. Does it come with the table or you B-Y-O table? It's a robot jack.

Does it ball machine come with a tennis cord? It is the technology itself is the outstanding part. And the net system. Again, from what I remember, it was very big, and it would all kind of feed back into the robot. I think there's different settings on the robot. I love it. I think it would even put spin on it.

It might be making that bit up, but it seemed like the color. of a machine that could do that. Head to home machine.com, guys. That's just a taste. That's better than a TV. Yeah, easily. Hame.

Well, we have to, let's not just discuss this very, very quickly, but we are talking about it a lot off here, but as we'll get it off our chests. But also acknowledging that we know this can't become a golf podcast, even though three of us enjoy playing golf, but as we've previously agreed to on the show, you can sometimes talk about painting, Painting something we all understand, painting something everyone likes.

And Anda, you and I went away for a very special painting holiday on the weekend where we were not only lucky enough. Took all our brushes. And painted for four days in a row. I was so excited. I haven't bought a brand new smock there, a couple of smocks. And a couple of new painting hats. They're berets, I suppose, but that had more of a peaked beret. You'd call it a cap. At this very special painting club we went to over in New Zealand, a very family. a very fancy painting club.

One of the best painting clubs in the world, isn't it? Yeah, it is. The kind of club where if, you know, Leonardo da Vinci did get reincarnated, he'd be kicking himself that he couldn't paint there. It's a real nice place to paint. And what's the best way to describe? I went to paint my picture during one of the painting sessions.

And if you've ever had the experience, this is very rare in painting where you put the... You just go, I'll just do the undercoat and then I'll paint the Mona Lisa. You put the undercoat on, and lo and behold, you've accidentally bloody painted the Mona Lisa

with the undercoat. In one stroke. You've accidentally painted a complete picture. He's had a hole in one. A one is what you'd call it in golf, but a one stroke Mona Lisa is what you'd call it in painting golf club. Very rare to do as an artist.

Just to put aside, the analogy for a second. He's had a hole in one, Jack. Incredible. Now, this was incredible, right? Couldn't believe it. My soul left my body. It was, it was, it was, it's quite wild because of course, okay, we probably just have to use

the terminology of golf, small ball golf here to, to clarify. I have had a hole in one at foot golf before. Which is, but I think we're just going to keep him separate just because small ball golf is a bit harder to have a hole in one in. Because the hole is very small, and it's a long way away. Long way. When you hit the ball down there. For this particular shot, 165 meters away in a tiny hole, it's the size of a coffee mug.

My eyes aren't that great. And I've been in that position before where you're like, you think something good has happened, but you just can't see the ball anymore. And it's about 20 meters away from the hole and it's, you know, rolled off the back. But we're with people who are like looking, everyone's looking down there going, No, I think it's here, I think it's in. But you just dare not believe. You're just looking at those lot of numbers.

You're looking at the TV. They're lining up. It could be hiding behind the pin. It could be hiding behind the pin. Just, you know, playing a little tricky. I've not won powerball, but it would be like that feeling of going, hang on a sec. Are those numbers these? You just keep checking.

Don't celebrate too early. Actually, am I watching something that I taped from last week? And I'm watching an old Powerball telecast. That would be horrible. Just check everything. You just don't want to be the guy that takes your top off skills around your head, runs down there and then finds the ball 10 metres away from the hole. So disbelief.

It is disbelief because we were very much lost for words and you see a lot of men just laughing, laughing and giggling and almost delirium. This is so confusing for my wife. Yeah. So, I mean, it's not going to mean much, but my brother was filming and you'll hear how lost for words, but how high on giggles we are. It's just delirium. It was just pure delirium.

Can I ask something? This special fancy course in New Zealand is also where Andy got his hole in one. Yes. So it's an easy course to get a hole in one. That's what my dad. First thing my dad said was like he'd got confused. It must be an easy course. He goes, he goes, oh, didn't Andy get a hole in the same hole?

What's going on with that hole? Is it like the hole? Was it the same hole? No, it wasn't the same hole. And you and Noel Blake can join the The Air Poppers Club as you try and take the wind out of our sales and deflate our balloon of excitement.

No, I think it's interesting that Andy got it there and Andy's friend Marty got a hole in one there. Is that, am I getting that right? Years ago, though. People get them. People do get them. Maybe they make it easier at a fancy course. To use the power ball analogy, Jack,

maybe this is like going, oh, hang on a sec. someone's bloody winning this every week. No, but it'd be like you... Every day you open up the paper, someone's one power. No, but it'd be like Andy winning week one, you winning week two, Marty winning week three.

This is what I find interesting. Basically, people have been split between two different things. One is jubilation. The other is a little bit of anger. It's jubilation and jealousy and they're coming in equal parts to me. You were the first jealous

cab off the rank chat. I'll give you another one. Mike Malloy this morning. He's jealous. He came up to me. This is what he said and I had to quickly write it down so I got it right because he just said this and then walked off. Can't buddy believe it.

I'm not happy with him. I'm actually shitty with him. You have to earn this stuff. Shook his head and then went to the toilet. Have to earn it. What more can I do? I've played for almost five whole years. I have every training aid you can buy off Instagram.

None of them get used more than twice. Oh, I've earned it, mate. This cost me thousands of dollars in full. purchased training aids. Our mate from New York, Eddie Bucks, who runs old mates with us, he rang me this morning and goes, did Hamish really get a hole in what? I know, the hoax. You were on the hoax team, Jack.

So basically for the next, you know, after the hole in mind, I was like, I couldn't focus. I started drinking a bit of tequila. So I was like, you know what? This is not what you normally do during a painting club session. But I'm going to take the next couple of holes off. I'm just finished. I'm just, I just, he's next.

He's next art pieces of artwork were swaps. And people were like, what is this? Is this one of those paintings that elephants do? This is terrible. Mate, I couldn't, I was just like, this is silly. I'm just going to enjoy the moment. So basically, I was drinking and just texting everyone that I never played golf with in my life. And you were very, you were quick off the rank there, Jack.

You were one of the first people. That video that we just heard, you didn't send that. All you sent was a photo of you crouching and getting a ball out of a hole with a smile on your face, which could be, you could set that up. That doesn't prove anything. Not that I think you're that type of person, but I wanted to believe it was a hope. Well, you didn't. Because I can go back and find the message, but it was just, it was a few photos of us just all losing it.

And then going, I gave you the quick story, can't believe it, this is incredible, I'm in shock. You just sent back the emoji of, now I know this is an audio medium, so I'll have to make the noise that you would think this emoji makes. But the emoji just going, ah. Yeah, he's rubbing his chin and he's having a thing. And that was me having, like, is this real? He's a bit angry. He's been angry. So you were more in the jealousy camp, right? That was the instant reaction.

Over the day, I've become happy for you. There's actually a third camp, and I'm sure a lot of people listening are in the third camp, which is if you don't care about golf, you don't know about golf. You don't know how hard it is. It's a different camp. So I could tell, she could tell how excited it was. She was my first text. I was like, I know this means nothing to you,

but you have to be the first person I tell because I love you, and you're my wife, and also tell the kids, because this could get a bit of traction there. I could tell she was trying to be excited for me, but I know to her it sounds like I've got a strike in bowling. Way, way, way, way, way. We went bumper bowling.

I got a strike, didn't even touch the sides, and now we're going to drink for two days. Like, well, mate, that's very good. Yeah. Beck was a bit the same. She's like, oh, wow, everyone's getting one. That's why, it feels a little bit like at this certain course. It's easy to get a hole in one.

That's what I had to sit back down and I said, Beck, it's a one in 17.5,000 shots. On a normal course. No. And then I said, Beck, and she's like, oh, well, okay, okay. And she still didn't, she said, you take a lot of shots in golf. Like, well, yeah, sometimes more than we meant to because we're not that good. But I said to put in perspective for you.

Remember, you can only get a hole in one from the first shot. Yeah. Your last shot on a hole is always a hole in one. Yes. But you've had 12 before that. You normally get three goes around because it's normally only three par three. That you could possibly make it. I know getting too technically here.

So I put it in this terms to Beck. I asked AI, I said for someone of this handicap, how long would it take them normally to get a hole in one and put in Hames's handicap? They said 89, he should have waited 89 years. That's amazing. Head of Skedge. He's a head of Skedge. Why wait, get it done.

Tick it off, get it out of the way early in your life. I tried to explain it. I went another analogy because I was like, okay, what's a sport that's kind of universally understood? Soccer. I said, all right. Think about in the World Cup. When the goal he gets it and he kicks the ball

to the kind of the middle of the field or a bit longer, that imagine he went to pass the ball close, right? and the goal goes to pass a ball close, but suddenly the ball just magically seems to like pick up into the air and start weaving and curling down the field. Just around everyone, and even the other goal, he can't stop it. And it's just started as a pass and it's ended as a goal.

Now, maybe that's not the best analogy because you are actually going for the hole in golf. Yeah. It sounds like when it's... That makes it sound like there's elements of metric involved. Yeah. Okay. Well, all right. All they can say is... He's line up at the city to surf.

that you run every year and a good, maybe you run an hour and a half and a fun run, 14kmour fun run, Australia's biggest fun run, and you've done it for 20 years, and you're just jogging along, do with your friends, and you cross the line, and you're watching, oh my God, I did it in 10 minutes. How did I do that? All I can say is there's been seeing, I know, I've got friends that have been playing for over 50 years who have never had it. And as Eddie Buck said this morning,

He said, you have to wait longer for golf's greatest joy. And I said, no, you don't. No, you don't. I've experienced enough of the agony, don't you worry about that. This is, do you know, do you know, do I think that this is all wrapped up in it? Because anyone that plays golf, it's a game of extreme frustration. And it basically exclusively never goes your way. Yes.

Like the whole day is golf just. Reminding you that you're not good enough. Yeah, absolutely, pulling your pants down. Like absolutely, you have, you have, you're, The whole day is hoping, like, please don't go in there. It goes in there. Please, let me go. Oh, my God, that was the worst thing I've ever done.

And you're like, you hate yourself. You're like, I've spent all this money. What am I doing? This is just so dumb. Yeah, exactly. This is the worst person. Like, that's just golf, mostly. And so for one moment, you pulled golf's pants down.

Yeah. You did the thing. It's been doing to you for all these years. And for this, like, once in a life moment, you're like, hang in a sec. I'm the boss of golf right now. It's not the boss of me. Then it goes straight back to being the boss of you and that's that. But for one moment you experienced it.

So happy I was there. Well done, mate. We should paint again soon. I can't wait. We're painting tomorrow. Yeah, yeah. Jack, a quick update on the board game because we obviously last episode offered you an assistant

in an Irish chap called Dulta who was out here working for 100 got junk at the moment. He was able to squeeze one day off a week and could be your assistant to help you at the board game. We do mention that coming a fair bit. There's no financial kickbacks going on here. No, is there another one that we can name?

Well, the only reason I mention is I've used him a few times before, and they feel like I've overpaid before. So I'm like, I don't take it down a bit more. I feel like we keep doing ads for them. I'm happy to if we could come to some. some sort of refund agreement. Works at a removals company. Yeah.

Just junk removal. Yeah. I'm not saying, I mean, I just feel like I, yeah, I just feel like I hate through the nose a few times. But that's all right. That simply balances it. I think that's, that was my opinion. But they do, well, I don't know, what I'm doing here.

We're not, they're not a sponsor. They're not good or bad. They're great. Yeah, whatever. Anyway, I don't think Dulta will mind because why he is working for them, that's not his dream to be a junk removalist. He is... Would you now, without giving too much a way,

is it his dream to be a board game founder's assistant? No, that's not his dream either, but I will say that he came with a good energy. Great. Well, he's Irish. I mean, that was the walk-up start. I mean, Irish people have great energy. Hamish and I are paying for him to be your assistant

because you request it from us. And hence, he actually reports back to us, even though you're his boss. So, there's a few things. I asked him to secretly record the day. Yeah. So we're going to get a sense. Now, boy, was there a lot to wade through?

Well, because he was an eight-hour day. It was a lot to do. Oh, my God. Nick's meant to record so much. And you guys, Jack, my first instinct from me was you didn't really prepare for the day. well I didn't I didn't prepare eight hours worth so when we go

when we were like an hour in and I was looking at my watch thing it's 10 am then I started it felt a bit more like babysitting because I was it actually took up my time trying to think of things for him to do

interesting question is this the first time you've ever had an employee of course yeah it's not a of course I mean it's not no well I this is the first time I've ever had somebody

who I had to even give tasks to yeah and I don't I actually don't like that feeling. Yeah. I feel like going, well, you need to be prepared. Yeah, but even like doing something hard,

like, oh, could you do this? Like, oh, you probably wouldn't want to do that. I would be terrible to have a real assistant. Okay. Even though you ask me what. You do have a real assistant. You literally demanded one and we got you one. So, yeah, I mean,

we haven't like pulled a prank on you or anything here. We literally just followed your request. No, well, you did. I felt like there was a little bit in bad faith. I asked for a paid assistant. And I assume that would be somebody either with board game experience or studying board games. But see, this is the confusing part. That's not what that means.

That's not what that means. That's not what that means. It seemed for me listening to everything throughout the day is you just wanted him to come up with a great board game. And you go, yes. You wanted someone else to solve the problem. No, well, I didn't. I ran out of things for him to do. So come up with board games ideas was like the first thing on my list for him to do.

Yeah. So that's, say, hey, he starts the day. But aren't you meant to have the idea. And he kept telling us you have the idea. I'm not ready for, yeah, I'm not ready. We're not saying tell us the idea, but it can't be his main task to come up with the idea because the idea is meant to be there. Yeah, so you, he didn't start recording from the start.

He must have been nervous. But I can only assume from the conversations I was listening to that you had started with a task of research board games. Yep. I think it was this. Research board games. Tell me what type of board games are out there. Oh, my God.

James. This is hard from a standing game. start for him. I mean, what else can he do, but come back and go, right, so there's this one called Monopoly. You're like, yes, I know about that. He came and he, I asked him what he's good at, and he had just finished doing a history degree at university. He said, I'm very good at research. Yes. So I said, okay, well, and this was off the top of my head. I didn't have this one down. Oh, no shit. Why don't you do some market research on board games? And that will, This is not what I said to him, but they'll buy me some time to think of more things.

So you're learning. You don't say that to your employees' face. Why don't you do this while I go in the other room and breathe into a paper bag and just think about what I could get you to do? Dalter's answering the brief that we've given in, which is just assist Jack in any way you want. So then Dalter's now asking Jack questions about what he might want to try and get it out of him. This is the first little grab that I'll grow. Okay.

What is the objective of the game and what purpose is it so? if I, like, is it collaborative and social, strategic and challenging? Personally, if I was choosing, not worrying about the audience's expectation, I would make it strategic and challenging. Okay, yeah. That would be my priority for it. So he's now interviewing you. Is that what's going on there?

Is he saying to Jack? Also, the founder said not caring about the audience. He also said not caring about the audience. I would just like, the whole idea is to care about the audience. I know I said that was a qualifier. If I wasn't caring about the audience, obviously I am, so I won't just make the game that I want to play. So then Dalta's like, well, Dalta doesn't, he's from Ireland.

He doesn't know about the podcast. He's now trying to catch up on two things. Our whole back history of our careers and also trying to get a scope of what Jack can do with this game. So then he, he, is asking Jack, well, how much of the podcast needs to be in this game. People feel connected to E, and I think that's what you're building on. You're building on this kind of

relationship, you want to have a relationship, I guess, with your players and audience, because it is it's not just a board game, it's one that is connected to you guys as individuals. Yeah, okay, that's important. Because I think what I was trying to do was make a game

that didn't really didn't have to have themes from the podcast. Which makes it no sense. So, the Amish Indy podcast, the board game, featuring no connection to the English Indy podcast coming soon. So, can I just say,

if someone just tuned in there and they were asked, what do you think the relationship between these two men is, it sounds like that Irish man is the other man's mentor. Yeah. And it's not an electrifying conversation by the

That is 20 minutes in. That is 20 minutes in. He's the best grab like I could get. It sounds like he's the guy trying to help like you find your way. It sounds like you've paid in a few hundred dollars to like do a mentoring session. It's like a live coach.

Yeah. Minute 34. This is the next bit where it got to. Dult is still trying to get an understanding from his boss as to what's required for this game. Some games I think really find out of parrot. They say that they're from two to four players, but if you have two, it's quite awkward. Yes.

So I think... I pictured more people playing it. I pictured it more social. Yeah. Okay, so it's still this picture, which I think you keep picturing people playing the game and having fun. You're picturing the outcome you want. vague about what actual game they're playing. You have mentioned that a few times, Jack.

I know the feeling that I want people to have while they're playing it and the fun experience I want them to have. Yeah. That's like me going of... I've got a movie idea. Now, the audience is absolutely howling with laughter. Yeah, that's good. And then after the show, after the show, they're coming out there,

high-fiving me. And I'm buzzing, because it's gone so well. It's gone so well, and all the acting was amazing. What's the film about? Dolton did a great job. Dolty did a great job, Hab, of...

Mentoring, Jack. Continuing to try and ask him questions to work out what he should be doing. What am I doing here? What am I doing here? And it hits about minute 46. Right. Gosh, this was a long listen, by the way, of two men.

Well done to you, mate. Hey, well, done to me as well, because I took time out of my day to have meetings with him. Okay. But you're meant to be, this is your job you said you would work on. He was an assistant, he's meant to save you time, but I actually felt like, if anything, I just spent more time yesterday than I would have. Because you haven't been able to clearly articulate to the assistant what the purpose of this, company is, what are we making?

He's turned up, he's turned up for day one at BHP, and they've gone, look, we know we want to do something with getting things out of the ground, and he's having to go, okay, well, iron ore is valuable. Have you thought about iron ore? Yeah, yeah, that's a good one. We're imagining how that would be, yeah, by managing a lot of trains filled with iron ore, okay, how are you going to get it out? Have you got a digger?

Right, yes, we need a digger. We will need a digger. Don't play any more of this. I feel like we get the idea. This is where, and I've taken it out because it went for too long, Jack, it dawns on Jack that you haven't done any prep or thought of a board game, and he's there going, what are we doing? And you pitch back to him common mannolaneous.

The pitch goes forever, right? So we're not going to listen to it. But you're slowly trying to remember it. You're pitching him. the board game that both of us have said we don't want to. Yeah, even I have said on the show I don't want, but that's all I had to work with. So at that stage you're like,

it's more important for this guy to think I've done something. And did you, I couldn't work at that, but did you play it like on Friday or something again, like to try and remind yourself of Common Man Land? Like you referenced, you've played it recently with the, did you play it with the professor? No, no, no, the board game professor, the only helpful person I've actually met in this whole thing.

He came and played. Like the new version of the game I'm trying to work on. Right. We played that on Friday. Yes. And that was revealed that the game wasn't very fun. So that news. So, because I'm sitting in the whole time going,

why are you telling him about the game you thought of? Yes, because the new game I've thought of is now in the bin as well. So, Jack. Wow. Jack, hang on the last time we checked into you. You said you thought you were like out of 1 to 10. You thought you were at a 7.

You found out you were 1. Now you're at a 0. Now I'm back to zero, yes. Right, yeah. So he then tells this whole story, which goes for a long time, and this is the end of that. This is going to an end in Dulta's response.

And so if I can ask, you said that he had some objections or something that kind of style, that's momentum? We just played, like we played, the idea I had we played it, and it just wasn't that strong. Okay.

It just, it was just actually a bit boring. I can't believe. I thought we were getting along, but that sounds like two people who were having trouble having discussion. It sounds like he's absolutely your business coach, your wife coach, trying to untangle this.

So that is me referencing playing with the board game professor, the new game that I thought might be fun. So after an hour, after an hour, this and probably close to Dultes, phone running out of space, memory space to actually record this really slow conversation. This is where it gets to. It's just way harder than I thought it would be to make a good board game.

So, I definitely need to have more of a think about it, but that's good that you're here because today is making me think about the game. What? What do we do next? What? It's a good question. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. What?

What? You've got to go into it. How's your first that work? I think work is a strong word. I'm really sorry. Here's the kicker. And this is the final question. Did you then ask him to do personal tasks for you?

He did some yard work so I could think about the game. Sorry, I wasn't ready for him, and I don't think you should come back next week because I'm not ready for him. So then I text him and I said, how's your first day on the job? rides. It was good. He's getting 50 bucks now. It was good. Better than I expected, given our first introduction.

We might make a board game yet. And I'm gone, hey, mate, I've listened to this. It didn't sound like it was good. I didn't write that. But I just wanted to get a sense from the Irishman who needs a job, how he would approach the feedback. I went great. So you'd be keen to do more days if required.

He wrote back 100% really appreciate the opportunity. Jack, he's in, he's in, is his boss. I think that was just a waste of time for both of us, I think. Good that he was getting paid because he deserved to, but we didn't. Especially for his yard work. Yeah. Well, I'd say, Jack has to pay us back for the yard work. Like, no, no, no, no, because I lost time with the bond game.

I lost time doing the meetings with him. What were on time? What time I could have used on the board game? No, you wouldn't. What board game? I could have, the two or three hours I spent giving him tasks and coming up with tasks, that could have been spent thinking of the board game. So it's better to not have the assistant going forward until I'm actually in production.

Okay, so you would like to pause the assistant? Yes, unless you're willing to give the money to the board game professor who's actually helpful. No, no. That's crazy. We've got a person who has all the knowledge of board games you can possibly have. You want someone to do it for you. I don't want him to do it for me. I'm very close to having a breakthrough idea.

I just need a bit of help. In the yard. Didn't he save you raking and mowing time? Mainly splitting wood from the audio. He didn't end up splitting wood. He just filled the green bib with some weights. Thanks for listening. The Hamish and Andy podcast will return next week.

Catch up or contribute at hamish and Andy.com.