Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2018 Ep 12

Episode Date: May 16, 2018

1. Hamish’s Mum – international correspondent 2. Jack’s trip to London3. James Bay4. Gus the Page Turner5. Sonny’s birthday party6. Jack’s bully song7. Tell us your best ...upset Andy

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 A least-snap production. Activate your internet. Cos the Hamish and the Podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. Jambo, jambo Jembo Jents It's my favorite. I don't mind Jembo Jembo Jembo both. I Fick country all the language. I'm getting here. I'm getting a Caribbean vibe. Oh, yeah, probably the way I said it
Starting point is 00:00:38 Jack where you've got that placid in your hair with the beans and I'll go You've got that platter in your hair with the beads and I'll go Mauritius it's hello hello hello in Swahili. I can smell you But yeah, Jambo good. Jambo man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's cool. That is the best so far I'm gonna keep we're not gonna pause on this but I wouldn't think though I'm gonna keep going or drinking maybe I think now it puts too much weight on the one you pause on because it would be, do you say it was Swahili? Swahili yet. It would be, it just be like a big thing
Starting point is 00:01:13 to pick Swahili as our, and no known ties to either of it, any of us to just consider language. Just be a big call. That's what I'm saying, it would be huge call. Do you want to open that can of worms? You'd be answering questions on it forever. Yes. Where this is for you. I don't think so. I think it and also appreciating people from around the globe. Sorry in requests. Yeah. It's equivalent of go to Cambodia. Have a great time. Get a Cambodian word tattooed on you.
Starting point is 00:01:40 Yeah. That's a big call. You're still traveling. You don't know what other countries you might go to. You've picked Cambodia. Now is the main country you identify with. No one said you don't like Cambodia. You didn't have to get a tattoo. I think if we picked this, it's the verbal tattoo. It's the verbal tattoo of the show.
Starting point is 00:01:57 Let's love the language and the people. But let's keep traveling and not get the tattoo just yet. Sounds good, hey. Speak you of traveling. Jacko, drop the video game music for us. Question for the team. We're doing well as a three this year. We don't have any extended members of the team reporters, especially in Vessigiv. We're not the project.
Starting point is 00:02:24 We don't have Limo going out, Jenny, the kids. Tommy Little, do it all. Do it all people. We don't have those field reporters that maybe we're lacking if we want to rise to the ranks. I mean, of a globally renowned podcast, do we need more field reporters? That's a good point.
Starting point is 00:02:42 Are we against it? I would say no. We're not against it. It's come to my attention that the Royal Wedding is coming up. I like to delve deep in the news and find the stories that people aren't talking about. And there's a young woman I'm aware of that will is she's treating herself to a river cruise with some friends at Amsterdam this week. But come Royal Wedding Day, she'll be in London. Is she going specifically for her? She's not.
Starting point is 00:03:07 She's just happens to be there at the time. I have access to this one. So she pre-booked trip. Pre-booked river crews through Amsterdam. Nothing to do with the Royal Wedding. It's your mum. It's mum. Yeah, mum's going with, I don't know,
Starting point is 00:03:19 she's going with possibly one of the margs. She's friends with three margs. Could be one of the margs. As far as if a mag was on a betting scheme because there's three of them, yeah, be paying very low. Could be one of the mags. Actually four mags, your mum's mag. It's not your mum. No, that would be high on. So I don't think they've ever hung out individually, socially ever. It would be a huge leap to go straight to an Amsterdam river cruise through France and Amsterdam. So mum, the other day goes, I'm actually going to be, you know, in London, she's just about to take off. I'd be in London for the raw wedding.
Starting point is 00:03:51 So, no, right, what's going on? She was, I'm staying at this place. She's, and I got an email from them going, well, we're doing, we're having a function for the raw wedding. She was, you know, it's 95 pounds. But, you know, you do get, you know, there's stories that Mum's tell, and this is a bit of one of them, where she'll get stuck in a detail that you just don't care about. It's like, you know, £25, I mean, you do get three courses, champagne, and a, not tapas. Come back to me. I just can't, doesn't matter.
Starting point is 00:04:20 Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. No, no, no, no. Whatever, cocktail, no, or do it. Or do it. Okay, okay. So you get value fee, no, so you go, G-95 pounds, no, that's like 150 bucks. Yeah. You sure it goes with black tie.
Starting point is 00:04:35 Yeah, but it's in the hotel. Yeah. It's in their lobby. Exactly, yes you could go to a dress code or it doesn't mean they can't be like, it's actually a double here on you. So you have to bring a fancy outfit. And now they're making your payment.
Starting point is 00:04:47 And I'm going, but guess who's talking? And so I go, I don't know. Well, I've got the name wrong here, but I will get it right if we go with this. Lord Farquah, also, but right. Lord, Lord someone. Not putting, but it sounds like putting. Lord putting or Lord Farquah is talking.
Starting point is 00:05:03 And I go, who's Lord Farquah? He's Harry's cousin. Oh! So he's Harry's cousin. Oh right. So he's Harry's cousin. What's he talking about? Well, he's could have been talking for an hour about the royal about about what it's like to be in the royal family. So is he being invited to the wedding? No. So this is the thing. This is one's founder guy that's so low on the run. He's not going to the wedding and he's doing a cashy on the day of the wedding. He's doing a cashy, he's going, he's going a football, he's doing a sportsman's dinner,
Starting point is 00:05:29 and he's going to like give him a glass of what it's like to be a royal. He's, he had a dinner. He's Harry's cousin, and I reckon it's my marriage. I reckon it's my marriage show, I don't reckon. He's got no wins or blood in him or like, no world's one. Farquhar, Lord Farquhar, he's just, he's been probably hitting three events that day.
Starting point is 00:05:46 I wouldn't be surprised if he speaks with 20 minutes, comes in, probably got a photo of him in a Harry from when they were 12. That would be like his ticket in. My question to you guys is, do we want Mum to give us a report on Lord Farquhar's speech from when he gets his name right by there?
Starting point is 00:06:01 Cause I'm pretty sure it's not far. It's not far back, it's like I'm from Shrek. But when, do we want Mum's report on this guy doing a cash gig on the day of the wedding? Yep. Not good enough to be invited but has Matt Harry. Oh, absolutely. Can we get an exclusive interview with him? Well, that's why I wanted to, well, not hear him. No, I mean, I could send Mum, I could ask Mum, do you want to get a list of questions
Starting point is 00:06:21 and we try and get it a record them on our phone? Even just one, yeah. Just one would be good. Not bad. Yeah, I'll get that, Jack. Can we, can we have, list of questions that we try and get it to record the monophone? Even just one. Yeah. Just one would be great. Not bad. Yeah, get that, Jack. Can we, can we have, can we guarantee that we can just bearing in mind, we're asking my mom now to use an iPhone for something that's not texting your voice. Mm-hmm. Then, then figure out how to record it, send that attachment internationally from a hotel's Wi-Fi. Hi, Bar.
Starting point is 00:06:41 Hi, I love the excitement. We've always dared to dream in this show. Can we confirm though that we'd be getting your mum exclusively? We cannot. Hi, Bar. I love the excitement. We've always dared to dream on this show. Can we confirm though that we'd be getting your mum exclusively? We cannot. We cannot. Daily Mail has her slightly stitched up.
Starting point is 00:06:52 No, I'll get mum exclusively. I'll get Lord Fargo exclusively for this show. Go on, you run. MUSIC Well, well, well. MUSIC We've been looking forward to this. Yes. Now, it's getting in Britain for a moment.
Starting point is 00:07:09 There was a cat quenchat. There was a cat amongst the pigeons in Trafalgar Square. Last week, as we released, cackling jackpots into London. Yeah, Jack, you had to go over for other reasons. We didn't release you over there, but we decided to pretend your trip was about you going to meet London podcast. Yes and I didn't go to Trafalgar Square, not sure if I was meant to but you're going to be a big Ben to recap from last week. We asked Jack to be on the 10th at the strike of 10 underneath Yeah, and the first podcast that account recognized him would win an H&A coin, a coveted H&A coin. We already started getting people emailing us and direct messaging us through the week going,
Starting point is 00:07:52 hey look, I work opposite big Ben, look at the House of Parliament, big Ben underrennows at the moment. It's not Bung and hasn't Bung for a while, I won't Bung for a while. What's Bung till 2021? We were hoping to have the audio on the 10th bong. A spirit dog. I think big bean bongs. It's a bong. And then Jack would say very good time, Jack.
Starting point is 00:08:15 What actually transpired was more of a cuffuffle than any sort of slickly timed operation. We told Jack to wear a red hat. He sent us a picture before he went out of him in a red beanie sunglasses and beats by Dr. Dre headphones. Over his heads because he was going for an unapproachable look. I wasn't trying to look intimidating. I was because people started to message me directly
Starting point is 00:08:39 on Instagram to say they'll be at Big Ben to pick up the coin. They'll come and fill up. I was worried about a couple of days out that we didn't have enough coins. I took three with me. And you'd already said to people, you're gonna give them five pounds
Starting point is 00:08:51 if they had their bank details with you. Jack was shitting himself because he's terrified of, he was being terrified of parting even with an H&A coin, even though he doesn't own one. Well, Jack, over to you, talk us through it. So I was lucky that Big Bang is not charming. What's he saying?
Starting point is 00:09:08 Big Bang is the charming. Is what they have an in-ben. It's like the Big Pineapple. Big Bang. I didn't get there for the times how'd it been charming anyway. We like it. I was walking down there and then I forgot
Starting point is 00:09:21 the left of the coins. I looked at the hotel room. That makes a bit more sense, because here's what I was observing down there and then I forgot the left of coins. I looked at the hotel room. I looked at that makes a bit more sense because here's what I was observing from Michigan Control. We get the thing from Jack going, I'm gonna try and be unapproachable. Then I go, great, I wonder if anyone's seen him down there. So I got an Instagram, look at direct messages,
Starting point is 00:09:36 50 messages from people going, where's Jack, where's Jack? People were trying to get the hashtag, sack Jack trending. People going, he's a bully, he's a bully. Look, so I did get down there and then they did start coming up to me, loyal H&A listeners for their coin. But have a look at, I'll just show you this quick video,
Starting point is 00:09:56 I took of how many people actually rock up there. It's crazy. So that was the first people on one side of Big Ben. But by the time I left, there was at least 40 or 50 people there. Can you have a pause there? Because it's great news for the pod. So, it only takes 30 or 40 seconds for Jackson Till. Thank you for the British pod, so it's becoming an amazing people. There's 50 people there, and Jack, you've only got three coins.
Starting point is 00:10:19 How did you work that out? I was, I filmed a bit of video of me when I was first getting to Big Ben. I was doing like diary entries. So I could scroll back and see who the first person was. But you wouldn't know that because I mean, the first person to whiz, not like there's a start in a finished line with big Ben. Oh, the first person to say,
Starting point is 00:10:37 hello, hello, hello. Yeah, good. I also gave one to the first British voice I heard. Yep. That's fair, that's good. I'd already done that. And then watch back the video. He's not even in the top 10.
Starting point is 00:10:47 So people weren't happy about that. And so we've got one guy who's pretty unhappy with the show at the moment. His name's Hamish. He was the true second person there on the video. Right. But I got scammed by the third person. Yeah. I've got scammed by the British guy.
Starting point is 00:11:03 Yeah. So he has a beef with the show just if I, if he emails, just like you guys know, I went over to win friends and I've created an enemy. And then, and then the next, the other 45 people hanging around went too happy either. Right. Okay. So I got another success. Okay, okay, this is not so far. And I can only really think of two or three people that are having you manage. You do take some people for beers. Yes, well, that was damage control. Okay. So I said after the people who got the coins vanished immediately.
Starting point is 00:11:38 They run away. So customer service kicked in for you. Then everybody started handing in their bank details, which they all prepared earlier. So then everyone's handing them to the front of the mob. And while they're handing them, I can see people, you know, ruffling through their backpack, starting to write their bank. It goes through the way, 10 bucks if you can write down your details.
Starting point is 00:11:59 So maybe half the mob was happy that they handed their bank details in, they left and then the last people who truly had nothing, I said, well, do you want to go for a beer? And it was 10 a.m., so we sort of hung around a pound until 11 a.m. To love it, yeah. I got someone going, I got,
Starting point is 00:12:17 I got, I got someone, a message and go, I jacks off at the tag everyone for a beer. Good move, it's 10.35 a.m. there's no pubs open, you won't have to buy a beer. But you managed to hang around until they were open. Let me ask you this. Oh, don't make it. And I've got my guess of the title here.
Starting point is 00:12:31 When you say they handed their bank tag to the front, did you then process their payments? Well, I was actually was gonna ask you guys what you thought about that because. I'm not sitting there saying, well done, because I think you think he's paid all these people $10. I do, I do think. How many $10 as of right now have you paid?
Starting point is 00:12:50 I haven't paid any yet. Well, I haven't even packed my suitcase really. But I was gonna ask you guys what you, if you thought, what did you think about that? I do think you know what we think about it. I do it! I do it! The deal is the deal. Look, I want to do it, but the only reason I think it's a waste of time is, is you need to make the money. No, well, these people are angry already, and the $5. It's a short money after that. It's not going to cheer
Starting point is 00:13:18 them up. So let it be angry at the show. We lose. We lose high terrific, a lot of the favour. We lose high full of witness in the UK. Oh, I want value-view put on a list of ser, obviously less than $10. $10 of my own dollars, yes. I think it would go a long way to trying to smooth things over if you could start. If you ever gave you their details, if you could make those payments,
Starting point is 00:13:40 I've never seen you glare at me like that, Jack. Jack, what if you were angry? What if it went your half? To your Jake. Jack, what if you were a anger? What if he went you have? He's done it. Hey, nearly this morning, international singing songwriting sensation, James Bay. Responsible for these songs. I wanna give you a ride. Tell me how I believe in something.
Starting point is 00:14:12 I believe in those. We got him in, and we got him in for a very special, special moment. Yes, he's new albums out tomorrow. It's called Electric Light. And we'd always stated this because you and I interested in writing a song at the moment about surfing and people that have been tracking the progress of our surfing song would know after last week's writing session which you did have to leave early from I didn't know you had to leave early but it came apparent at the 20 minute mark you wanted out after the our writing session we were armed with a fully written now
Starting point is 00:14:46 our writing session. We were armed with a fully written now, quite a short song, a fully written short song about learning to surf, and we promised ourselves the next musical guess we had on. It was their job to put it to music. It's a little bit nervous about asking jazz. So it starts with just going to start with the chat. We were interested in with fans of him. We think he's great at what he does, but obviously you'll be able to tell from our voices in the back of our minds. we're waiting for the right moment to broach the anyway. Could you write us a song issue? Now just so everyone's on the same page, we have the lyrics. If you didn't hear the episode last week, we've got the lyrics here for the song that we wrote before any had to leave. These are the lyrics we come up with that will be handing James, or we hand James a version of this.
Starting point is 00:15:26 So, the first verse, how you know the feeling, your mate says the waves are peeling. Cool your heels, Bolly, you can't surf. You know you're going to look silly in the air, that's feeling chilly. And your body's old, like Colin Firth. Yes, not Colin Firth's. It's actually old, like Colin Firth. Like Colin Firth, the peas old. Yeah, that's a good distinction. The line-up demands respect, which way does your wet suit zip up?
Starting point is 00:15:48 Have you checked? Remember the zips predominantly at the back? I was nervous about him going with the word predominantly. You don't often find it in a song, but I think he'll do well. You can drive to the beach with your wetty half on. How are you enjoying the song? Arguable that it's early for that question to appear in the song. But it stands.
Starting point is 00:16:07 Eat now because the water's no place for snacks. That was a good tip. Pre-chorus. So, grab a shell from the sand and put it to your ear. The message from the ocean is loud and clear. To the chorus, you can be a one-nee-none, but aim to be a two-foot-tony. You'll be in a barrel, Darryl.
Starting point is 00:16:21 Get ready to shred Fred, because it's well worth learning to surf. Good luck. Then it goes on and on and there's a repeat of the chorus after that. That's what we handed to James. James Bay, welcome to the podcast. Thank you very much.
Starting point is 00:16:35 Very trick-light out tomorrow. It's indeed around the world. If people are listening to this, bang on the 17th of May. I mean, it's the day they all are, right? Oh yeah, sure. People rush to their internet every morning with the podcast. We know in smaller villages where you have to line up
Starting point is 00:16:49 for the internet, you see about 11 PM at night before a Thursday, people are queuing up the internet window. That's great. Come and get their ration. It probably will be there. Congratulations on the album. We've heard of three singles off it.
Starting point is 00:17:03 So if I had the latest ones, us. Your previous stuff sold 3.5 million albums. Exactly. At a time where people aren't really buying albums. Oh man, didn't it? Yeah, no, that's a really cool reality. How do you feel when someone goes, can you sign my CD? Do you feel like saying to them, hey, do you know about digital music? Or do you just go, thank you for supporting physical science?
Starting point is 00:17:25 I don't want to patch your nose too odd, because I know I can't sign their MP3, I guess. But you can even know them in digital signature. What about comparison? 2.7 billion streams. Yeah, that's insane. Of your music. Yeah, it's very, it's a mad and wonderful reality, you know.
Starting point is 00:17:43 I make music and I tour hoping anyone will come to a show and hoping, you know, there's all the bonuses on top of it, like people learning the words, you know, honestly, they sound like basic things, but they are the most magical moments within all of it. And when they happen, it's the best kind of daunting. It's that sort of deep breath moment. Yeah. I mean, the first album was cast in the carmen obviously so huge Is there another kind of daunting sitting down to ride definitely a new album?
Starting point is 00:18:09 Is it hard to get it out of your head to go because the temptation of it if I'd written that album Which I was going to by the way And so I was like great. I didn't know It's the only downside to being on separate sides opposite sides of the world exactly fair play The Victor go the spoils. Well done. But if I had have done it, for going around to the second one, the temptation would be, well, this worked.
Starting point is 00:18:31 Right. You know, like you're always kind of like feeling that battle of going, you're not copying because it's you, but like that temptation to go back to doing something that worked already, but then pushing yourself into other areas. Well, that artistically, like, of course, there's the feeling that,
Starting point is 00:18:45 well, that worked. We do that again, right? Yeah. But from an artistic perspective, that's the last thing on my mind. I'll be honest like that. And I say that as somebody who just sort of straight up, like pretty much every other artist on the planet,
Starting point is 00:18:59 adores so much music. More than a couple of records have inspired me. And more than a couple of records and inspired me, and more than a couple of records and artists still inspire me. And within all of it, it's me. You know, it's me writing the songs and it's me singing the songs and making the music. So, and that's something that definitely fans and everybody else involved have to sort of bear in mind, because I, and also I made the first record for me because I didn't have any fans. Yes.
Starting point is 00:19:25 So to some degree, I'm going to make this next record. Or I've made a huge bloody family listening to this. But I know what you mean. And you can't say because it sounds arrogant. So we'll say it for you. The common thread is it's you. And that's what worked the first time. And I mean it.
Starting point is 00:19:40 That's what worked the first time. And that's what people want to hear because you've connected with them. People listening to the radio would have heard us, which is the single that dropped a few weeks ago now. But we don't play songs anymore in the podcast. When it was a radio show, we did. I mean, we could leave people amendment to pause and go and check it out.
Starting point is 00:19:57 We'd encourage that, but I just wanted if you could play three notes of us. Oh, yeah, that's nice. Just three, just three best notes in that song. It's such a piano-led song, and I'm sat over the guitar. Yeah. I think of it as like a vertical string-restricted piano. So that's the sort of verse five, and then it goes.
Starting point is 00:20:15 Tell me how to be in this world. Tell me how to breathe in and feel no hope. Tell me how, because I believe in something, I believe in this. Wonderful. Yeah, people are going to get, that's good. Hopefully they're my special.
Starting point is 00:20:31 My special over here. I saw you, I don't know what you grabbed for, but you grabbed parts of your body when he started. Unless, unless Eliza's kept giving her a phone above her heart, and she got a call during it, that she went to reach for it, I mean, she's crying. No, no. Sorry, she's to reach for it. I mean, she's crying. No, no.
Starting point is 00:20:46 Sorry, she's not crying. She is. No, it's gone. She's, we just go quite a dusty room. And unlucky piece of dust landed right at that moment. The crowds are getting bigger for you. Yeah. The shows are getting bigger, which must be really exciting. Definitely.
Starting point is 00:20:58 When you have a show that's like truly amazing, the crowds gone bananas. Have you ever walked off and said the security guy backstage went how's the show? Have you ever said it was absolute bay him out there? Never! Okay. Would you call your next album bay? You said you wanted to push, you wanted to push boundaries. I love that so much and I'm a bit worried about how publicly we've let that out to the
Starting point is 00:21:21 Internet. I was calling yourself the bay. Can we copy right now? Baniak I've heard. I'm right now. Baniak I've heard. I'm into it. Baniak I've heard I'm into it. Absolute bay him out there. Yeah. That's great.
Starting point is 00:21:31 OK. Good. Well, let's encourage anyone that's going to a James Basel as a show to go as nuts as possible and create the bay. Of course. Absolute bay. James, we've got a request for you. And a lot of our listeners would know where this is going.
Starting point is 00:21:46 I think your manager gave you a little bit of it. It's been brought up. Hey, machine I've been working on our own song. It's a song about learning to surf. We're waiting for a musician to join us to see if they could put some melody to our lyrics that we owned out last week. We have baked, if I may say, an incredible sponge cake, but it's un-iced. Un-iced.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Luckily we need the music to be, you are our fondant, you're our marzipan. Yes, yes. We need this to be iced. Okay, look at them. This is the song, these are the lyrics. We have no music or structure to this whatsoever, but the lyrics we've come up with last week in a really intense... Just as a basic stretch.
Starting point is 00:22:26 We're going first, pre-chorus chorus. Pre-chorus is very posh. All right, here we go. And then we've got a pop it in. We've got to do a new thing. Yeah, pop it in. Pop it in is a new musical term. What was he saying there?
Starting point is 00:22:37 It's like a bridge. It's not a bridge. It's like, it's just a literally, it's a pop it in. It's a lyric we liked. And it's on the bench. And if you find yourself playing some music and you've got no words to back it up, poppin' I wonder if I'll see how long can I hold my breath.
Starting point is 00:22:53 Steph Gilmore was an Australian Serpent Champion. So if I'm a champion to that. So it's all on me right now. If it could be, yes. Is there any lyrics you have in trouble with? So yeah, that's a one knee-none in the... No, nice. Okay, all right. I'm down with that. So what we said if you move the Paul Simon song 50 ways to leave your lover Oh, wow about the back Jack making you plan Stan so using that Idea of kind of like name checking certain people but also buying yourself a convenient run
Starting point is 00:23:21 So you can be a one knee no knee or but a bit aimed to be a two-foot Tony. That's referring to the way you stand up on the surfboard. One knee-noney is like a, you're on a knee, but obviously a two-tony, that's what you want to be. Getting a barrel d'arre, or getting ready to shred Fred. Love it. The rest is English, you're from the country, you know the language.
Starting point is 00:23:38 Take it away, right? You just do it, okay. Well, you know, when crafting a song, this is great, This is what we wanted You got a focus on the chorus first the most important part. Okay, that's I would never I'm not of you You've given me some great pointers. Okay So If I if I'm gonna put this chorus together first and I'm taking some pointers from what you see there
Starting point is 00:24:06 Maybe we go you can be a one-learned But aim to be a two-foot Tony you'll be a barrel you'll be in a barrel Darryl Get ready to shred red Because it's well worth burning to serve We're like that. Can you, we got, we got to do that again. We're just going to get that. You can be a one knee lonely. But aim to be a two foot Tony.
Starting point is 00:24:31 You can be in a barrel, barrel. Get ready to spread. A spread, spread. Because it's well worth learning to serve. Hey, hey, you. Okay. Alright, well that's a cause. That's an inspiring feel.
Starting point is 00:24:40 I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. I'm going to be a little bit more. Because it's well worth learning to say. Hey, you're good. Alright, that's a cool one. That's an inspiring feel. I think that's so good.
Starting point is 00:24:51 That's so good. That's so good. That's so good. It's not so good. It's from what we have. Because all I had in my head, something good. Wouldn't make the finals at an ad agency if they were thinking of a window washing companies jingle. That's what it's that was the tune I have. They would have
Starting point is 00:25:10 gone like that's not in the top five we're not taking that to the client. Okay so where do you go after you've got chorus? Well we've got to get no we go sit up with the song. Okay that's where you head. So interesting. It's like a quick turn to know if it was there. Yeah. Will you build the steeple of the church first? Then you build the doorway. It's tough. It is tough. Okay, okay. You listen.
Starting point is 00:25:29 You know the feeling. Your mate says the waves are feeling. Cool your heels, boy. You can't surf. You know you're gonna look silly. And then the air is feeling chilly. And your body's old like calling for. That's good.
Starting point is 00:25:40 Hopefully that doesn't hurt. I wanna look silly and in the air it's feeding chili and your body's all like calling for That's good, hopefully that no good The mind up, the man's respect Which way does your wetsuit zip up? Have you checked? I'm trying to be Paul Simon, am I right? No, you're trying to put the wrong idea in your head
Starting point is 00:26:01 Remember the zips predominantly at the back Predominantly hard work to sing it, you did it. You can drive to the beach with your, with your wop. With your wop. With your wop. How are you enjoying the song? Eat that. No, I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:26:17 I'm just kidding. That was a, we had this stage in the writing session, it had taken way too long to get to that point. I'm we were struggling for a lyric. We've got a pretty course coming No, just a quick question on that one. Yeah, yeah, have you ever Too early to put the lyric in how you're That's a third that's a third verse that's absolute first line fifth line that's a third verse line at least Okay, great so Okay, picking it up from pre-chorus.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Oh, okay. So, go grab a sh- we go here. This is lyric. Grab a sh- from the sound and put it to your ear. The message from the ocean is on. Okay. Okay. Dracon, are we going to break it down from the mood?
Starting point is 00:26:58 Or are we going to start building it up? Like, what kind of pre-chorus you're looking for? Um. Do you have a little build? Can I make a suggestion? This is a huge call,course you're looking for. Um. Do you think we've got a little build? Can I make a suggestion? This is a huge call, because you're in the zone. Do you think we just say like one chord than single the words?
Starting point is 00:27:12 Now the chord, single the word. Essentially, that's exactly what's coming. It's a grab a shelf from the sand, put it to the ear, the message from the ocean is loud and clear. Two chords just all on their own. You can be a one knee lonely, but aim to be a two foot Tony. You can be a dattle, dattle.
Starting point is 00:27:35 Get ready to shred for it, because it's well worth learning to serve. Oh yeah, now this is the poppin in. Ready to get poppin? I took it, I freaked people out. Oh wow, yeah, that's a good poppin. Freak out, Lyric. I wonder if I'll see, I don't know how to put this in. Oh, I wonder if I'll, no, we've got nothing.
Starting point is 00:27:59 So, so we have to put, you don't have to poppin in though. Yeah, again, it's like a bay leaf when you, James Bay leaf, when you're doing, when you're cooking a ball of nae's. My mum likes them. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't. You don't, you don't. It's not like it means you don't have to have it. Okay.
Starting point is 00:28:14 So then after the chorus, then we wanted a 20 second instrumental. Oh, yeah. This is about a breath-holving exercise, because usually if you get dumped, you can get hold of breath for 20 seconds, you'll be all right. Are you timing this? You can stop watching.
Starting point is 00:28:28 At gigs, we'll get the crowd to hold their breath for 20 seconds. OK. And instrumental starts now. Halfway. Three, two, Halfway What we talked about James the back story is relevant here We like if you good to have like an instrumental that everyone could sing in their head.
Starting point is 00:29:07 Oh, we've got enough for that. When they get dumbed. And the other is getting dumb going, you need to do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do Remember this was that chord move. Oh, it's something pulling. It's something pulling stronger than a rip. The C is close. You can taste it on your lips. Just two empty chords, I guess. Like that, yeah, the buildup. You can be one, we know it. But it is me and you put a Tony.
Starting point is 00:29:39 You can be a barrel, barrel. You've made it a shred of friend. Because it's one, one, one, heaven. Oh, you know we could have had there Oh, you know something like That's what I like Oh yeah To say They're starting to run this thing easy.
Starting point is 00:30:08 Yeah. Just because in the film clip that's you just riding it all into the shore, the board into the shore, then you hop out the ticket, grab it. No, no, we're going out into the water. Wave comes up. Wave goes down. I'm not there anymore. I've died at sea.
Starting point is 00:30:23 I've died at sea. Like the end of point break. James Bay, thank you so much. Thank you very much. It's an electric light. We did it. It's out tomorrow. I can't guarantee any of the songs a bit of a nut. I'm just kidding.
Starting point is 00:30:42 It's just too late. It's incredible from what we've heard. So congratulations on all of those man. Thank you very much, Joe. That was a real treat. Thanks. Appreciate it. All right, Andy.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Last week, a majority of the podcast was taken up with duck summoning where we were in our sniper suits, which I maintain were a good investment. He didn't in a bush watching what we thought, what we hoped was an incredible skill at work by a young lady who claimed to be able to make such an incredible duck noise. If you haven't had the episode, again, many refresher, that she could summon ducks. Kate said she could summon ducks ham for within a 50 meter radius. We flew it down at our expense.
Starting point is 00:31:31 And she bought the fan. Yep, we allowed her 20 minutes. And I think it was clear to us at the two-minute mark that it wasn't gonna go away. No ducks were taking a much of an interest. But she persisted. And by the end, this was the mood. Duck!
Starting point is 00:31:46 She's clicking at her. I'm not sure if I clicked in this. I mean, she's got a minute to go and that's supported off of the clea. There's a sea girl that's semi-interested coming from behind. Here's what we said at the moment. I mean, I wouldn't be surprised at this stage if we sort of vulture land to try and pick over the car because of this dead segment. if we sort of vulture land to try and pick over the car because of this dead segment. It was a kick in the... Whose fault was that?
Starting point is 00:32:09 It was a kick in the beak to Cape Ones. And but it was also a kick in the beak to us. Yeah. Because now we've realised we spent half an episode of a podcast testing a special skill that's false. Watching someone not summon ducks, which is a skill we all have. Yeah. Now, the blame game has occurred all week.
Starting point is 00:32:31 Whose fault was it? Was it the Ducks fault for not being sharp, not responding to, they were Melbourne Ducks responding to a Sydney quack? Was it lost in translation? Was it Kate's fault? Did she perhaps over in flight her ability to summon ducks was it our fault no it was Kate's fault yeah I was just tricking everyone by seaming to move past the culprit and then
Starting point is 00:32:56 swung the spotlight back on it it was Kate's fault but it's absolutely what we need to do it was our fault as well well because we we we believed we need to know We need to keep believing in people and we don't want to stop believing and you know what that's but we need to decide from the talent We're rocky at the moment. We're a ship that's all over the shop We're in we're in harsh waters and what we need something to do here is steady the ship We need a home you've said to me and I think I got the wind from bringing this. You're bringing in someone, and you want a test, a special skill, I want to wake off. And no, no, no, we talked about it.
Starting point is 00:33:28 He's sitting outside of just made eye contact with his name's Gus. I hope he's feeling confident he's not shitting himself now because the, well, really, our desire to keep delving into the people that contact the people's podcast and testing them, letting them put their skills to the test.
Starting point is 00:33:46 Rest a little bit on Gus's shoulders. Come on in here, Gus. What I was going to say before is we love Kate. Dealy is a human. Love her. She just let us down as a human, across over. Gus, have a seat, mate. Jump in front of the mic.
Starting point is 00:33:57 How's it going? Gus, nice to meet you mate. How are you mate? Go to the matcha. Oh, sorry. I don't know what we have a giant knife for. That's not to be a worry. Promise you that knife for. That's not a bit of a worry. I promise you that's nothing.
Starting point is 00:34:06 It's just from the last week we were going to use the studio. Gus, last week, I'm going to show you we had Kate who couldn't summon ducks. I haven't seen what you've listed as your special skill. Can I tell Andy your skill, Gus? You'll list here on your form. If you ask me to go to a certain page in a book I can get within 10 pages.
Starting point is 00:34:27 That's what I said. Is it, I mean, is it what you can do? If I can put forward a condition, then yes. I just need to be able to feel the page width. Oh yeah, let's bring the book in. I've got to, I've got to, I've got to, I've got hold the book. Let's bring the book in. I've got it in here. Now, tell me if this is a book that's suitable. It's the manual of accounting. I don't know where this is going. Is that in the building? Yeah, I've practiced on accounting books before.
Starting point is 00:34:55 Right, which is actually because I'm just trying to... Jesus, that can't be right. 24,000 pages. That's a very thin page. Is that right? No, it can't be 24,000 pages. That's a very thin page. Yeah. Is that right? No, I can't be 24,000. And I'm not joking.
Starting point is 00:35:09 That's a thin page. No, it starts at page 1000. How does that work? Oh, this is, so it's 2,000 pages. This is a different volume. Maybe it's a volume. Is it a volume? You're right.
Starting point is 00:35:18 It's volume one. Oh, that's a nice one. Did I just grab him? Yes, I'm scrapping this for you. It seemed too complicated. Here we go. This is, now this? It seemed too complicated. Here we go. This is, now this is a novel. Here we go.
Starting point is 00:35:28 The power of habit. Regulation. While we do what we do and how to change, who cares? And I'm sure it's a great book. Sorry about this, Gus. Not often do they invite a Usain Bolt to a track and go, sorry. This actually got moguls.
Starting point is 00:35:40 It's a run out of track of moguls. This is a normal book now. This is a 365 or so page novel, or a self-help book it looks like. Have a feel of that. That's just your normal kind of, what do you call that kind of paper, just you just stand and paint it back.
Starting point is 00:35:53 Yeah, just stand it. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Nothing too special, not too thin, not too thick. Yeah. This is a really good rub. Okay. You look like a magician. You look like a magician. Okay. Yeah, just put the book down for a really good rub. Okay, you look like a magician.
Starting point is 00:36:05 You look like a magician, you're a good test. Yeah, it's just put the book down for a second. And that's a mint book too. So we can test, there's been no tampering with the pages there of any time. Gus, you look nervous. Do I? Yeah, are you nervous?
Starting point is 00:36:19 Don't judge a book by its cover. Find the phone. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Jack has one, he has one on loan, that's not his. So how is the test working him? Are you opening the book and saying what page? Does Gus open the book and then he says the page? I think what we get you to do Gus is, however you need to, obviously, in a way, that you can't see the page number, you crack the pages a little bit,
Starting point is 00:37:01 you're a little bit crowded, a crack, you then go with confidence, without confidence, but you then go, you know, I'm at page 210, open it up and we see if you are within 10. I guess we have three shots, we have three shots. I think it's one shot, one kill. Good luck, Gus. Now no, fresh here here my friend, but we need, if we don't see before our very eyes, a skill meet all it's cracked up to be on the form, we're gonna have to talk about taking some sort of time out
Starting point is 00:37:38 of testing things. Okay. Yes, it is. Talk us through your thoughts if you think it will help, but yeah, no, I can reveal my sort of trick. Yeah. My thumb is roughly 400 pages.
Starting point is 00:37:49 Is what I'm going for. That is a skill just knowing that. Um, so because these pages are a little bit, they're a novel sized page, a little bit thick. Are you sure they're not thinner? Yeah. Oh, I'm sure. Okay. Um, so we've got about...
Starting point is 00:38:08 He's got his thumb down the middle of one side. And now he's using his other nail to find the shoe. Find the page. He hasn't, has that a look in? You've cracked it? He's cracked the book. You like where it's at? He's shaking. What do you think? What page do you think you have opened? Charles do higs the power of Habitat. I'm going to go 184.
Starting point is 00:38:30 He's handed it to me, and I... 184. Hame? I can tell you it's 205. Oh, I'm 20. Only 20 pages off. It's still... I mean, I don't know what I feel about it. I don't know what I'm going to win.
Starting point is 00:38:48 No, it's not a win. But it's all a win. No one's saying the L word. It's not a win. It's probably a loss, but the thing is... Is it a play again? Is it a double or nothing? I think it's double or nothing because I think I think I
Starting point is 00:39:07 Reckon the unspoken rule he was You won't get a coin for this win, but you'll get on it. Yeah, this is for honor Because am I fair enough insane man? I Was gonna say before we started if you get within 20 you can have another guy. Over 20 was he, you're out first. He's a thing though, whilst something made just going to a four. Try again. If you can get two or four again.
Starting point is 00:39:34 Oh, he's so impressed. Okay, two or four. He thinks he's cracked the two or four. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy.
Starting point is 00:39:56 I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. I'm so happy. We're back in business baby next week. They'll be another skill We're back Rubble my very eyes And then look
Starting point is 00:40:12 And then And then And then And then And then And then And then And then
Starting point is 00:40:23 And then And then And then And then And then And then No one, no one spots a crease like you, what a skill. I wish I could give you a coin, but that deals a deal. Oh my god! Ando, yes, time to review the birthday hard jinks from last week. Sonny's fourth birthday. A couple of things that we've been through. Hey, congrats on the the cake by the way. The cake, the slimer cake was a big success.
Starting point is 00:40:48 Yes. It was really good. Did you see Jack? Yeah, I thought I mean you outdone yourself because last year with the edible hinge, there was a little bit of like, it looked like a crappy hinge. Yes. I absolutely didn't. But this one, you said it was going to spew a green cream and he really spew green. It really was a bit of a...
Starting point is 00:41:08 Yeah, I mean just as simple as that. You say you're going to do it. Yeah, it takes you seven hours to make it and it turns out to be about 16 kilos when you've made it. Don't know how to get it to the pancake pile up and apart from that. It's hard to travel with. It had to take it there at two in the morning. Thank God, they're open 24 hours because it would have been difficult otherwise, but well for that a huge.
Starting point is 00:41:25 Couple of kids got green cream on their dress, like ruined a few clothes. He cares. That's a couple of pros I'm fun. Well, that's a great reminder. It's a great reminder. Staying on your clothes is a great reminder of a cake well done.
Starting point is 00:41:36 I mean, there's Monica Lewinsky stuff there. It doesn't matter. You can have a great time and still get green cream splurred on you and you have a fun time at birthday party. The cake, I suppose the difference between the cake and the other thing that we planned, the Batman situation, is the cake when as I'd hoped and as planned, making the slumber cake. The other situation that you and I concocted was a lot more, it was a lot more ambiguous as to how that was gonna go
Starting point is 00:42:06 and it was technically difficult. For people that are unaware, the plan for Sonny's actual birthday was gonna run like this. I'd spent $100 buying the best back gadget belt, Batman Utility Belt you can buy. Don't get too excited and don't buy these, by the way. For a hundred bucks, you get an absolute turn of a bill.
Starting point is 00:42:27 Pigs and Peas are shit. It's so cheap. Look terrible. I've been genius sending up all week saying Batman's gonna get him a present and he told me he's gonna give him a present and told him what it was. So what I had to do was unwrap the bat gadget out of his plastic and stuff and take one bat gadget off
Starting point is 00:42:44 which I gave to you the day before Sonny's birthday. The plan on the morning was open up the present from Batman. What's this? It's a utility belt. Oh my God, hang on a second, it's missing a bat gadget. Then I text you, we're ready.
Starting point is 00:42:55 Bing Bong, you know, Andy Wingsardore, he's at Andy's outside, bat Mandy, in full bat man gear, with the eye makeup on. Full bat, oh, Batman's bought the back gadget over. So that was the plan. My first disappointment was how bad the back gadgets were. I mean, because I've told Sonny that Batman's built this himself. In the box was a note going,
Starting point is 00:43:16 hey Sonny, I built this for you. Now we both got back gadgets. So something's like, you know, I could tell he's even a bit underwhelmed with it. And he's like, what are these gadgets? I'm like, I don't know. One of these is called a sonic listener and it's something you put over your ear. It looks like a Bluetooth headset and it's got a cord that dangles off with a small satellite dish on it. And I think you point it at the Joker to like hear his plans. The thing, the back edge of I gave you was a motion detector.
Starting point is 00:43:43 Right. Which is, again, it wasn't actually detecting motion either. None of them do what they say, but it has a thing on it that like just beeps, and it's got like a kind of a disc with a spout on it, and you point the spout towards the motion, like why Batman needs a motion detector at close range when he can clearly see baddies is beyond me.
Starting point is 00:44:04 Anyway, we went through with it, you were in position. Well, I'm just to go a step back from that. You would specifically told me, and we mentioned this on last week's episode, to not speak too much. Well, that was my worry, but it is. He knows you. Yeah. And so I was like, the best chance we have here of him thinking it's real Batman, is for you to, like, it's for us to like,
Starting point is 00:44:24 overwhelm him, shock and awe, you're in your out. Yep. Like a SWAT team. Like they don't hang around and have a chat. Like I wanted it to be you fast. You told me to say happy birthday, et cetera, which you did right, so much. So the night before, I'm super nervous about giving it away right. Yep. And I'm thinking, how can I make this better?
Starting point is 00:44:44 I really don't let the team down here. it's work you got into so I made a call okay great is that Will on it I know you've got to go to bed and thanks for taking the call but hey miss has asked me to be Batman bed and thanks for taking the call, but hey, Misha's asked me to be Batman as a surprise for his son's birthday tomorrow, but he wants me to be the real Batman. And he wants me to do the voice, but he thinks I'll blow it if I say too much. And obviously you are the voice of Lego Batman.
Starting point is 00:45:24 Like if I was to go, hey, sunny, happy birthday. How would I do that in Lego Batman's voice? Okay, hey who's sunny on Batman? I think you just I think you just want to go to bed. I think not. You think we better try to do it if you want to try to take deep seats to a little more trash. Okay, give us it again. He's Sonny, I'm Batman. Okay. Hey, Sonny, I'm Batman. Okay, hey sunny um Batman
Starting point is 00:46:15 Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, okay Okay Sunny Batman Okay, oh Sonny oh bad man Thank you. I'm sorry. So I don't know what could have been up putting out tonight. It's a big ball, but I'm sure. Well, thank you very much. I appreciate it. I'll let you know how I go.
Starting point is 00:46:58 Okay, great. Let me go. See you back. Bye. Very good. Now, that makes a lot of sense because when you turned up at the door and did the voice, I honestly was shocked. I was like, that was better than I expected. And now I know you got professional coaching
Starting point is 00:47:14 from Lego Batman. So for people that don't know what happened is the doorbell rings are like, oh, who could this be? We get to the door, you do, the thing I noticed the best about your voice was you took your time. And I was worried you would rush it.
Starting point is 00:47:28 And I thought you just blew it through all your lives. So you really took your time, hey, sunny. And I was like, Zoe and I, they're going, oh my God, that's real Batman. Like, what are you trying to lift it up? There's guys in the alley as traitors, like doing a Renault across the alley. So I think they knew it wasn't real Batman. You do the whole thing, we open the gate, you get the back edge yet.
Starting point is 00:47:50 It's only doing that thing that kids do with it a bit like when they see Santa, like you just all shy and stuff. You do great, you ran away. Yeah. If there was a bit of zone I going, oh, we should have got a photo. I ran away too quick.
Starting point is 00:48:01 I don't know, perfect. Because I didn't want him following you. I didn't want him getting his head around it fast enough to want to see the Batmobile. Yes. Because I know you're in like a rental Hyundai Tucson on a family and the boat. I mean, even if it was driving,
Starting point is 00:48:13 because I couldn't drive the outfit. Of course. Yeah, the gloves. Even if you weren't in your normal car, you don't drive the Batmobile. So like, whatever it is, like I don't want you saying, you know what I'm thinking,
Starting point is 00:48:22 I don't want him getting comfortable. So, Zona, they're like, well, that was incredible. Real Batman, okay, that's pretty good. So, he's like, yep, yeah, good. I'm like, very good, right? Very, very good. That was the real Batman.
Starting point is 00:48:34 He bought you a bat gadget. That's like, you know, he bought it, but he was something was a bit weird. Yes. Like, he was, you know, I think it did, and then since talking to other parents about this, this is not an uncommon thing. When you give your child their fantasy, what you think their fantasy is, it blows their mind. Like kids that get, you know, someone dresses up as joy with
Starting point is 00:48:56 the explorer and comes to their birthday party, like everyone cries and runs away. It's like, all like Elsa from Frozen turns up at a fifth birthday party and all the girls screaming and then there's something weird that happens in a kid's head. I think they like imagining it more than the reality. And it crossed the imagination barrier for him. Plus, and this is nothing to do with your voice. Someone I like, yeah, he thought it was Batman. He was convinced we were like, yeah, he bought that.
Starting point is 00:49:21 There's no way he thought it was Andy. Like an hour later, everyone sent me birthday messages like friends of ours, sending videos and people calling up me, happy birthday, you know, it's his birthday. So we're doing the list of going, oh look at all these nice people, like grandparents have sent presents and like we're opening.
Starting point is 00:49:37 And then we're going through the list of all the people that have been lovely to him and his birthday and expressed happy birthday. And I felt guilty that you weren't on the list because we're like, oh, you know, whippers down this rise and this. So like, and I said, and also Andy, Andy says happy birthday and he's got an uncle Andy's where my sister's husband's. So he was like, uncle Andy said, no, Andy from radio, you know, and he goes, oh, Batman. And then so I went, what? And then we went, what do you mean? And I said, did you
Starting point is 00:50:07 think Batman was Andy from radio? He went, no. I'm like, what do I do? You know, I go, yes, we were tricking you or go the way you like, double down. I was like, he did, did you, that was real Batman? Who did you think, does Batman remind you of it? He was like, double down. I was like, he did, did you, that was real Batman? Who did you think, does Batman remind you of any one of these? No, that was real Batman. No, he's just, I'll get down the wind. Yeah, I think he's going, I don't wanna let, I think we're playing a game here, and I don't know what the game is.
Starting point is 00:50:38 He's never mentioned it again. And every time I go, did real Batman visit you, he's like, yeah, real Batman, visit me. I can be tagging out with these kids at the kindergarten, get a load of my man. And then all the other kids are like, oh my god, did real Batman visit you? He's like, yeah, real Batman visit me. I was gonna take you out with these kids at the kindergarten, get a load of my pants. And then all the other kids like, oh yeah, my dead dress was spider-man, I think he's spider-man.
Starting point is 00:50:50 Oh my god, something happened, it's in there. It's in there. Hey, last week on the show we kicked things off because it was an important matter. Yeah. With an accusation from a guy called Riley. Young Riley has said, look, I went to high school with Jack. You guys might be having a lot of fun with him in there, but beware, you're laughing with a bully. Yes. He bullied me at high school.
Starting point is 00:51:20 Just in one incident, he wasn't Riley's bully, the way that, uh, unfortunately, some bullies may keep targeting someone. Jack obviously went to Riley, bullied him once and had had his fill. I was satiated. His thirst for bullying was quenched. Uh, we can't stand on this show for bullying, whether it be one instance or many, so we got a blanket ban on bullies. Uh, we can't support them, can't condone them. So we chocked to us to find out we had one in our midst. We got in early, we took the call from Riley from Scotland to quickly summarise the bullie. If he was comfortable talking about it now because it would have obviously happened some 15 years ago,
Starting point is 00:52:00 he was comfortable to talk about it, he explained the situation to us. He needed to do we. It was music class, Miss Beleducci was up the clock. What was their name? Biblioni. Miss Bartosi. Miss Bartosi. From the class, she had the keys to the toilet. They were locked in the music wing.
Starting point is 00:52:18 It was after ours. He did, we noticed, he did cast himself Riley as a very casual, cool student. So he just flickers the keys, teed, she said, I'm in the middle of something. You know, can't give you the keys. But I'm busting and that's when it happened. He was crossing his legs, he was very nose, he was upset, he was vulnerable,
Starting point is 00:52:35 he looks across and sees Jack, the musical bully there, Jack. And I can't believe I'm saying this without a friend. He giggled. Viciously giggled. At a boy in need. A boy. A boy who needed to leave. Just needed to do human thing.
Starting point is 00:52:52 And instead of Jack going, come on Beledogi, give him the keys. Jack chose to laugh. I chose to laugh at someone in need. And a lot of people shocks me from the sweet boy that we know. That really shocks me that he's got that in him. It was a vicious laugh. All week long people were saying, you know, you kick him out of the show, sack him.
Starting point is 00:53:10 You can't have a vicious laugh on the show. We said, look, that's Riley's side of it. Maybe there's some way for Jack to keep his job here. If he can respond in song and explain his side of it. Okay, for it, Jack. Thank you. Since Riley also wrote a song too, that just literally just said to music, Jack bullied me.
Starting point is 00:53:25 And some of the things he says in his email and story, are true. You know, I did go to school with him. There was a locked bathroom in the music room, but I remember some parts differently. In my recollection of it, he wasn't going to ask to do a way he was going to do. Number two. This is it, Chris. We might actually get a visual bully. No, no. This is it, this is it.
Starting point is 00:53:50 Jax to 50s. I did not bully him for that crime. I would like the court to imagine a funnier scenario. I was not laughing at the thought of him wearing his pants. I was laughing at the thought of him peeing pants. I was laughing at the thought of him peeing his pees, peeing his pants. Okay, I'll take that. I just remember not being a bully. It's true, I'm trying to get a sticky about him peeing his pants. Here we go. It's true that I was a legend in high school, a hero amongst the students
Starting point is 00:54:27 But I'd never use my power at their expense I might have seemed tough and strong and intimidating and hard to read But I'd never be mean, that's just not me But I'd never be mean, that's just not me. Or I'll leave, I would never giggle at you when you stand up in front of the room. I'll ask in the teacher if you can do a poo in the locked bathroom. Or I'll leave, you wrongly accuse me of being a bully But I'd never laugh at you if you needed a poo And the bathroom was locked
Starting point is 00:55:16 So it's important to know the Riley fabricated this story Just to get his email read out on a podcast Not cool Just to get his email read out on a podcast, not cool. He dragged my name through the dirt and it hurt. He got his five minutes of fame but it came out of cost. Now he's lost a dear old friend. Maybe thought I'd never see him again and it never have to look me in the eye and it made me light. I'd never giggle at you when you stand up in front of the room
Starting point is 00:55:58 I'll skin the teacher if you can do a poo in the locked bathroom. Riley, you wrongly accused needed to do a poo. She'll go down in history as one of the most powerful, romantic, moving song lyrics of all time. What an amazing show full of songs. Yeah, really. It's really neck and neck between Jake Payay and Jack Post there for musical talent and Yeah, look Riley, we can still have you on I'd like an apology. Oh, I don't
Starting point is 00:56:50 Know we're not gonna. Yeah, I do want to follow. We want to know the rest of his stories He said he cheated in one five thousand dollars on the channels. I think I trust these stories After that first one, I don't get too carried away because he I know we know you did it We'll see you next week, everyone. Hi guys, Hamish here. Andy has left for the day. The podcast as far as he knows is over. But just doing my maths next week, the podcast will upload May 24. What day is that? It's just another day to you May 24. What day is that?
Starting point is 00:57:25 It's just another day to you and me. What day is that to Andy? It's his birthday. Now I know the actual birthday, when you have a whole year of birthdays, it means nothing, but, and he'll, the celebrations he'll demand will be sky high, no doubt though, for that day.
Starting point is 00:57:44 I wanted to do something special for that episode, a special segment that he loves the most. It is often, he's often, I catch him, emailing in the show under a different name, saying, hey, you haven't had an upset Andy this year, when are we gonna upset Andy? Let's do it next week for the special Andy Lee birthday episode of the podcast.
Starting point is 00:58:04 It will be uploaded on his birthday. So please hit us up, hamishanney.com. If you've been hoarding any upset Andy's, if you've been holding on to them, let's really, really make it a special day for the big guy. Okay, thanks again for downloading. Make sure you get your bank details together in case you have a C-Jack. Bye-bye. Bye bye.

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