Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2018 Ep 15

Episode Date: June 6, 2018

1. Pizza mystery2. Pizza mystery Pt 23. Score yourself a mouth goal4. Jason the Sports Guy5. Eurasian Coots controversy 6. Nestle Chat7. Bec’s fish follow up

A least-snap production. Activate your internet. Cause the Hamish and the Podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. Meribar, Meribar, Meribar. Notang Meribang Meribang No, yes. Yes, no, yes, no.

So no. Hello. Hello, yes. Well done, you guessed it correctly. How does he do it? Meribang Meribang Meribang. No, some Meribang. What did you say?

Meribang. I'm sorry. Yeah. I'm sorry. Yeah. They got nothing. I'll guess one of the indigenous languages of Australia. Yes, Turkish. In the dumb cities of cities, you can find an indigenous Turkish man. Ah, Turkish it is guys.

Lovely. Yes, so keep trying. We still feel like we haven't found the one that resonates. Yes, as we go through all the aloo-o-lows from around the world. So I'll pull you a Turkish policeman if you say Stolen some of bread, which we Turkish bread I believe they still are priming Turkey. Do they call it Turkish bread? Just bread. They call they call tiptoff Australian bread They called tiptoe Australian bread, which is confusing to them. And some five to six loaves as high as a normal bread. To the two.

To the high bread. We do a high bread. Imagine. Imagine. Why don't they couldn't get their bread so high? Will they try? No, yeah, not enough yeast, I think. All right.

Ah. Now, so we start out. Can we stand the same, can we stay on the bread theme for a moment? Sure. Can we start with a, I love a mystery, Andy, you love a mystery. We all love a riddle. Here's a riddle that snagged my attention. Comes in from a valued and important podcast to Jade. It's going to look, he'll just have the contact form, how she never comes.

So some of my friends are part of a Facebook group for the mums at their school and they have crazy discussions on there. So it's just sort of, I guess, the parents gossip Facebook group for the mums at their school and they have crazy discussions on there So it's just sort of I guess the parents gossiping about what's going on at the school and teachers and stuff One of the dramas that's been happening is the teachers One of the teachers has been giving me a year six class Old pizza as a reward How old three day old so that they're like bringing pizza in from home, reheating it going, and if you do well, I'll give you some of my leftover pizza.

Wow, okay. So, this is what I want to get my head around, because it's not real. I'm elaborating a bit there, and maybe we can talk to Jay if we can get her up. I think that's what's been happening. So that's happened a few times, like at the impression that might have happened a few times. Yes. But then the plot thickens. Okay.

One of the mums we're in and swears that she can smell fresh pizza at the school, not the alleged old pizza. So now they don't know if they should say something about this teacher or if this person's using fresh pizza. So the worry was the teacher was giving old pizza because it was assumed it must be left over. And I guess the parents were getting to the stage were about to drop the hammer on this guy or girl

and go, stop getting, they smell fresh pizza. So then Jade's question is, can you smell the difference between fresh pizza and reheated old pizza? I don't think you can. So it goes, that seems like, no, contest me surely you could smell the difference but definitely it's for the investigation.

I hope your boys are up to the task. As you may have guessed, outside this studio, I do have a pizza smelling situation. Right. I've got three day old reheated pizza, reheated now to 80 degrees, and a fresh margarita's pizza from Pateunis across the road. Both the Pateunis pizzas,

I've made sure to do that scientifically. But we got Jade on the phone before we get to that. Jade, is my reading of the facts here correct? Is that what's been going everyone was worried this teacher's given old pizza out? Yeah, a hoi boy. A hoi Jade. A hoi Jade.

Using the preferred telephonic reading. He can understand it's a confusing, it is a confusing riddle that I'm trying to unravel here. Is that what was going on? The teacher was giving reheated pizza out as a prize. Yeah, as a reward for kids doing their work, apparently they were getting pizza. And was the grump on the part of the parents,

the fact that it was giving out pizza or the fact that it was giving out old pizza? Like did it make it feel, did you guys feel any better about the concept that it might have been a fresh pizza? Well, I mean, it was pandemonium on this Facebook page. It was just a weekly menu. Deep, deep, dim, a medium.

Yeah, that was, I mean, the gripe was, it was pizza. So they were handing it out on Tuesday afternoon from Saturday night. So it's old pizza. Like it was a clear Saturday night pizza, wasn't it? Yeah. And then, so one of the mums has gone into complain, or is they're building a case to go, we're actually going to adopt this teacher in for handing out sat-day-night pizza on a Tuesday.

But as they've gone in, they claim to have smoked fresh pizza. Yeah, one of the dads jumped on this chain and said, oh, I definitely was in the staff room today and it's smoked like fresh paper. And I'm thinking, how do you know? So the he's saying just before we end this teacher's career, careful, because there is fresh pizza on campus. And then Jay is saying to this dad, essentially, how do you know? I think we're going to do the bottom of that. Now we have the

classic setup, which we're going to test scientifically right now. Yep. Can you tell the difference between fresh and old? If we find out we can, it means the teacher's probably off-scot free. Yeah. Because we can stand by the dad's claim. If we find out we can't tell the difference, Jade's in a right mind to dismiss the dad's evidence. And we should still go after this teacher

for handing out Saturday night's pizza. I think that's right, Andrew. What we've got here is, Jack, you call Mike's phone, who's outside. Andy, you hop off the mic, go and get Mike's phone. I've set up pizza number one and pizza number two in airtight studios across the hall. All I need you to do is go in, sniff pizza number one,

sniff pizza number two. And really, it's an honesty system here to go, look, I can tell the difference. Yes. And then name your pizza you think is being reheated? Yes. Or you guys cannot tell the difference. Yep.

They both smell fresh to me. Okay. As Jack normally takes five hours to do anything, I'm going to ring the bell and have a quick break. And we'll make a slide out of it here as Annie leaves the room. Yeah, and then Jack has four or five attempts to ring the bell and have a quick break. We'll make a slide out of it. If you hear us, Andy leaves the room, yeah, and then Jack has four or five attempts to get the number right. All right, here we go. We're all set up. Andy, you're outside. Can you hear us?

Yes, I'm outside. I can see two different airtight videos set up with a pizza box in each. That's right. Both Patoni's right, both Paternese pizza, both margarita. I picked margarita because I think that is actually the most difficult test. If there was meat on the pizza, then you can generally tell a three day old meat.

Cheese and tomato, it's been in the fridge for three days. They do keep pretty well. And when reheated, it's just the oils that are expunged back into the atmosphere. It's going to be tough. You don't accept your job in the ham, J.T.P. Pravee, I've just been handed now a cup of coffee beans. Yes, I'd like you to neutralise your nose.

I can neutralise my nose. Now I'm going into Peter Wund, I'm not going to look at it, Am I? I'm just going to walk in the room and just take on the scent. Yeah, that's the idea. Well, you can open the lid to release the scent. OK, I can open the lid. Yeah, don't look at the pizza though.

That's good. Open the lid, don't look at it. OK, I'm opening the lid. I'm not looking at it. How does that smell? Smells like a pizza. It's like... OK, if you had to say, fresh or reheated, what would you say?

Oh, geez. I think at this stage, having not smelled the second, I would say that was reheated. Okay, please make your way to the next studio. You'll find pizza number two. I've just got the coffee beans in the meantime, I've not. You've got to realise your our faculty system. Completely neutralised. Completely neutralised. You're now carrying none of the centre pizza number one that will give you a false rate into the next studio. Please smell pizza number two. Oh,

it's not very similar to number one. How interesting. Which is very interesting. I know what I actually think about. I mean, make the call, and if your call is, there is no discernible difference to the man on the street, to the centre of a fresh pizza or a reheated pizza. That strikes out the claim that this guy,

the dad made in the star frame, that he puts in all the difference. And it means it's just as likely that this rogue teacher was serving Saturday night pizza to choose day-after-end pupils. I agree. I mean, I don't think I can smell the difference. If I have at three points each other, or like, I thought I was pizza-s pieces for the army on a pie from four metres.

Yeah, I would say that Peter 2 was the older one and Peter 1 was the fresh one. That is correct, but we forced you to split here. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I don't think it was the luck of the draw. And yeah, I think that that was a liar. Let's bring Jay back up. Jay, you've heard the scientific test then. What does this do to the calculus of getting this teacher fired? Yeah, do I have to get a teacher fired now?

Does look that way. He's so good. It's certainly seeming that way. Well, you certainly can't use his evidence of claiming to have smoked fresh pizza and the staff room to save this man's job. I think now we need to get a forensic team involved or you need to get a possibly an A. Z. O. agent to dress up as a student and sit in the class sit in the US class and when he hands out the pizza pretend to eat it put it in an evidence

bag and take it to a lab. Couldn't this be backing up his statement just as much? But, you know, could we count till the difference at all? Yeah, no, but I mean, he's going, I think I've smoked fresh pizza guys to the dad. You're going, hey, bad news, dad. There is a difference. Mort is coming to the defense of the teacher. I just do want to teach it to be fired based on my nostril, so.

No, what we're doing is we're removing the dad's testimony from the equation. And now the teacher will have to face the full Roth-Overt-Pizza investigation, and he can't claim they smell the same. Correct. Thanks, Jay. Thanks Andy. Thanks everyone. I'm bringing back in Peter one. Please do. That was half the plan. And a World Cup kicking off in a week or two.

Good fun, good luck to the audience, good luck to the soccerers. Yeah, I think people find it fun. Well, it's the most watched event on the planet. It will beat the World Cup., it's the most watched event on the planet. It will be. It will beat the world away. Did it beat the Olympics? It does. You don't know.

Yeah. Do you want me to Google it or do you just want to go with my confidence? I think it does beat the Olympics. I think I want you to say I don't know. In moments you don't know. I shan't ever. It does beat the Olympics.

It's a bloody popular event. Yes. Of, I think, you know, we're just beginning to amp it up now It does beat the Olympics. It's a bloody popular event, the World Cup. I think we're just beginning to amp it up now in Australia. We do like to just really ramp up our love for the game just in time for the World Cup. We've got rounds in our first game which isn't the best. But have you seen the coca-ads? I've just noticed them happening. I'm sure they've been having for a little while.

Not surprisingly, Coca-Cola is a major sponsor of the World Cup. Yep. Well, they like to, I mean, they're the premium brown fizzy drink sponsor. Yeah, yeah. They've been, they've been, they've been, they've been. I saw a co-cat recently that said, feel the difference. Not, that's not it. They've got a special new slogan.

And I assumed, with feel the difference. I Think that might be the new zero There's a coke zero. There's a coke max No, you feel what do you feel feel better? I suppose no sugar a bit you'll taste nothing Well, you taste the flavor of coke taste nothing. I don't think they would say feel better though There's a sense of how to feel the difference. Yes, so they're not they're not slagging off their old model Yeah, they've got a specific one for the World Cup, or a specific slogan, kick off the match with a Coca-Cola. Is Coke, is what Coke's gone for?

No doubt paid $100 million for someone to come out with. For a World Cup. The problem is, it's got a player in the ad, I don't know who it is, but that's not the message for the athletes. Don't kick off the match with a it is, but that's not the message for the athletes. No. Don't kick off the match with a Coca-Cola. You can be keeping up and kick it off with a ball. Kick it off with a ball. Kick off the match with a ball, and if you must have something, have a few sips of water. Obviously don't, D-Handrape, but don't have a fresh icy cold fizzy Coke.

You'll be doing Coke, but it's the whole match. Don't kick off anything. Kick off watching the match, I suppose, with a Coca-Cola, but they don't specify watching the match. In fact, the ad that I saw really seems to imply that it's a player. If you're playing, I guess they're hoping the soccer is still here and they've seen it. And they're, I don't know, maybe they're going for the soccerers off. They see this then the soccerza will be drinking cogs before the game. That would be helpful for them. If lead players all had a Coke before the game.

And they were panning around the grounds. I mean, how much does a sponsor own the game? Could they ask them to do that? Well I remember there was a soccer match here in Australia that was sponsored by Star Wars. Yep. And the rest or something came out dressed as the Darth Vader or something. That's the most ridiculous point. And what point does the players here just turn on and go, I don't want to have a coach before the match.

I don't want to stand at the centre and have to choose the French captain and ask Scarlett 600 mil buttery. And then have to run around with a stitched burping all night. He'll get to that. He'll 100%. They'll probably be kicking around a coke, then empty coke bottle. It's a stitched burping. Instead of the ball, he goes coke and with more money than the ball guys.

I've come up with two slogans just now. Literally just while we're sitting here, just who was that talking, that I think actually beat kick off the match with a Coca-Cola. One's a very, very advertising one, but I still think it's better. This is off the top of my hair. I could have made $100 million for this. Open bowl of dreams. Coca-Cola. Oh yeah, that's nice. Because the World Cup's all about dreaming big.

And that's easy. For me, I'll do that all day long. Come up with these. That's basic to me. This one is probably more controversial, but I think we get more traction. Score a mouth goal. Score a mouth goal. Score a mouth goal with a Coca-Cola. Because then everyone can score a mouth goal. Because you like to score a goal during the World Cup.

And that's not lying. Yeah, but a score a mouth goal. Score a type of goal during the World Cup. Mouth goal sounds bad. Doesn't sound great. And like, why is a mouth goal bad? Because it sounds like a bull's been kicked heavily into your mouth and then a golden net. So to me it seems like it's an own goal. Or an action

it'll go and you've got a bleeding lip. Hey nice mouthgoal man. Yeah, good it feels so. I'm asking, okay, reduce the smell. I already feeling sore. Have a nice, cool coat. Dreduce the smell. I've already had one. The game just started. I can't have two. Hey, Andy. Interesting piece of correspondence felt to my side of the email fence. The email's too. It's 5050. Young man, man.

Thank you to everybody going to Hamishany.com. Incredible. Feeling out the very valued and important podcaster, but also just anything that's catching your thoughts or your mind is centered into us and we'll ponder it with you. That's what we're here for. We certainly don't come in here to have fun every week. We come in here to get the job done and that's to chase up leads and to help explore and try and make says this crazy world, and. And certainly the musings of the listeners play

a huge part in that. And as you've said, every email does get read. Buy someone on the team. Often we try to make it us. Sometimes a few day slip paths and you have a sea of blue. I was very, sea of unread, but we churn through them, loved getting this from Jace, and I'll tell you why.

Basically, it's a very small line that he writes in the email. What do you know more about than 90% of the population? He's written, look, I know a little about every sport, and something he's stopped. Is that any other thing? Who's this from?

Jason. Who's from Andy Lee? Cause I know a guy that knows a little bit about every sport, Every single sport. Andy Lee, come off games on. Wardwall. Watch the whole thing. Olympics. Winter Olympics. Very interested.

Late night touch football. You'll have a squeegee. You've got to watch a whole game. You'll have a squeegee who get a basic understanding of it. And you'll appreciate it as a sport and at a game level. So I thought, this is how interesting. I now have two men in my life who know a little bit about every sport. I think I have a obligation as a broadcaster to pit you guys head to head in a challenge. We've got Jason the lion, Jason, how are you mate? Hello boys. Hi, Jason.

Tell me if you're happy with this format, Jason. Number one, are you happy to be quizzed a little bit on every sport? Yeah, yeah. I'm happy to do that. Didn't really know what I was going to go up against Andy on his birthday. I hope you're new challenge. Oh, yeah, we go. Certainly, you're going to have a guy that's riding high on his birthday year. He's birthday year, but here's some decades ago. Here's how it's going to work, Jace. I don't expect you guys to know rules or anything. That would be boring if it was just like, okay, you know, in ice skating, where the five technical fails you can do or whatever.

What I'm going to do is alternate the serve between Jason and Andy. I'm going to put two minutes on the clock here. All you have to do is give me an, because you've said you just know a little bit about every sport, Jason. That's the same with Andy. You're just going to give me an interesting fact or an interesting piece of information,

news, tidbit. Just after a tidbit about each sport, we'll alternate the serve and I'll in the moment decide who's our life's better and we'll move on to the next sport. We're going to progress through easy, harder and very hard sports. Okay. We're going to start with easy. Jace, are you happy that we'd like to serve? Would you like Andy to serve?

Um, no, I'll serve. Oh, god. Jace to serve? I'd rather be a two-foot kind of than a 1D knownie. LAUGHTER Absolutely. Jump straight up, show no fear. Well, Andy is there looking like a goose.

Oh, one knee. And a second, but still a goose on 1 knee. Jace, already, I want to give you a point. But for that, there's only... We're not a surface leader. Jace, when the serve time starts now, easy one, AFL, Jace go. Countless had the worst part for their season, but they've ever had in history of AFL.

Andy, they used to play with hats on. I'll give it to Jace. Hang on, five more interesting. Well, I think everyone was at the top of the clock. Ha ha ha. They used to play with hats on, and that's what's called a mark. When they caught the ball, they used to drop their hat and put it where they said,

because no one stood on the mark. I think you're angry because Jason's highlighted a floor in your team. A historical low point for your team. Start the clock. Jason, sorry, Andy, swimming. Swimming? Free style, you can do any stoke you like. Jason. Ah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, aah, no lies, point stands, you will, you will no lies.

One each. Start the clock. Jason, field hockey. There is a lady in the women's team called when it's her name holds Bergat, which I think is quite funny. Andy, at LBZ is when you hit it off the back stick and the low backhand zone. Easy point to Andy. Yeah, cocky come on. Sorry. Andy, weight lifting. Weight lifting. They use chalk before they go. That's what that big penalty point for you here. Jayce, what are you reckon?

I reckon there's a transgender now female in the Commonwealth games. Yeah, that was very good. Good point, Jay today. I should be harder. Jason with the serve, ice skating. Uh... We'll fill, he's probably got the best ice skating movie out. Okay, Tonya Harding with band for life. Very good. I, Tonya, will you see it? That's a lot of them.

Any judo? judo, you can choke out a player as in play pass out. Yep. Jace. I can't lie, can I? That's a new rule, yeah. It's a remade. I got in there before that rules. Yeah, need an answer.

All right. The high season will winners ever is actually the blue in your form. Look at him, to you, Jason. It's all tied up heading into the final. It's alive, though. Here we go. What did you say, Jason? So the highest percentage of winners have actually been wearing blue. Highest percentage of winners have been wearing blue. How do you know that, Jason? He knows a little bit about every sport.

Well, you just watch a little bit of the Olympics a little bit from the start. So it's like, it only comes out with these things. Andy, he knows a little bit. OK, he does know a little bit. I mean, you have your life. Yeah, OK. Yes.

And we've now stand at three all by my counts. And how many seconds to go, Jason? We've got under 10 seconds. And I actually might go here. Fastest finger first. You're both serving at once. Okay. Start the clock, modern pentathlon. Running is part of it. I've got five towards one. I'll get ready. You've got the win. They were both bad. I had to award that last fact on speed, which got Andy across the line for a 4-3 win Valley in effort there, Jace. Well, don't, Jace.

No one would be interested in listening to the commentary at the Olympics. Go, here's the modern potato line. Two interesting facts about this. Running is part of it. It's got five sports. Do you homework, mate? Thanks, Jace. Thanks, Jace.

Cheers, Jace. Do you go home work, everybody? Thanks, Jason. Thanks, Jason. Thanks, Jason. Thanks, Jason. Thanks, Jason. Thanks, Jason. Thanks, Jason. Hey, May 10. We dedicated half a podcast to a contest where a girl called Kate came down to Summon Ducks. A day that will live in Infermander.

Yes. She could not summon a duck, nor some people have pointed out, could she summon a Eurasian coot, which is actually the water bird she was placed in front of. People watching the video, and they should. The people should go and watch the video at Hamishneed.com. You'll see there as close as a duck as you'll ever find. We went down to the local lake. Everyone got his own local lake.

We went to a local lake and we assumed the water bird on the floating around the surface was a duck. We have always said, we've never hidden this fact. We have a deep, deep love for every inch of this wide country. And long country, it's a very big country, Australia. Deep love for it, all pockets of it. Wetlands, swamp lands, the country, the wheat belt, the desert, the outback, the top hand, the depths of Hobart, cradle mountain. You name it, we love it. But we've never pretended to be a marshland or a woodland show, or a urban podcast. We podcast in an urban area. So when we needed to select a duck dense lake,

our options were limited and we used the best of our judgment to go, okay, that lake, Albert Park Lake is not too far away and is well known for its Marie, it's aquatic bird life, it's water bird life, it's not unusual to see a swan there or a coot as we now know. Well that's a problem. The problem is, that's what we think. We think a coot is as good as a duck. We've said it before. We'll say it again. This week the media came down hardness. The media came down hardness. They did. This will not go away. It hasn't gone away. and then hardness, I did. And this will not go away. It hasn't gone away.

MUSIC Controversy took over the Hamish Nadi podcast this week with the pair waking up to an absolute shit storm. As news of the Eurasian Koot Kaffafel hit meteor outlets across the country. MUSIC Hello and welcome to 9 News. I'm Peter Hitchner.

Making headlines tonight a duck summoning contest fraught with deceit as it turns out there were no ducks at all. Good evening welcome to the project first up tonight an absolute duck up. Hey Mishinandi think a coot is a duck. This is a disgrace the two should be banned from organizing any duck based contest in the future. The governing body must come down hard here to prevent something like this ever happening again. Things got physical outside the courts Tuesday morning, as Haymesh Nadi attended the preliminary

hearing on the matter. The pair had this to say. We've been advised to make no comments. That's right, there will be no comments. But I will say this, the cute response to a very very similar call they have a very similar voice box and audio Hearing no no no comment. Hey, Michelle at the court sorted out. Yes, but I will say this. It's a witch hunt That's what it is. This is a bloody witch hunt certainly not a duck hunt A fight broke out and although Hamish has back problems from picking up his son

Hamish managed to get the better of the reporter in what was a pretty epic street brawl. Back to the duck koot fiasco now, chef of popular Chinese restaurant the bamboo tiger had this to say. There's definitely a difference between a duck and a koot. I've never met Picking koot. I've definitely lose my license if I did. It would taste very different no matter how much quam sauce you put on it. It was decided early on the Wednesday morning that the matter would be resolved with an internal review. Viewed as a huge win for Heymish and Andy,

we now cross back live to hear the findings. Wow, that is good news, Heym, that it's turned into an internal affair. I hadn't heard that report. That's a good, we had heard that report. So, Ham, that it's turned into an internal affair. I hadn't heard that report. That's a good note. We had heard that report, so... And Triumph for our show. When we got the news, when it came down from the media to go look,

and there are no two sweeter words you can really hear than internal reviews. Yeah. Yeah. Our industry-based association is three that are good because it means you get to police yourself But we've always said seriously that we take that responsibility very seriously All right, I actually am worried we take it to seriously my police I was a harder than the actual police would police exactly and that's the worry, but we thought we'd forge

That was a clearing era And I when we sat down to do the internal review, we knew full well. We could be looking at jail time. And if that was the call, we would absolutely cover it on the chin. Oh, totally. That's it, don't. Now that's why you've been growing that beard.

Yeah. Just in case you had the company for if someone tries to punch me in jail. Thank God I didn't need this facial crumple zone. Because the good news is it turns out we will not be going to jail. I'll start with the good. That's the I've cut off that as our downside. We have escaped jail time on this. And upon looking at the internal review and a full investigation.

And massively we did it twice. Yes. We got the results review. And a full investigation. And massively, we did it twice. We got the results and said, okay. Well, it's good. Good, but do it again. Yep. We reviewed twice internally. Huge investigation. No stand on turn.

Yep. Our findings were as such. A duck is a shoe. A duck is a shoe. A duck. A duck. A shoe is a shoe. A clear.

Absolutely. And the clear. There will be no rematch. There will be noua Shua, isn't it? I clear. I clear. That's absolutely in the clear. There will be no rematch. There will be no more. There will be no more talk of this. We have been cleared. And if you now protest, you're protesting against situations being investigated twice and cleared twice.

I know. I know. BELL RINGS MUSIC Well, this is very exciting, Ham. It is. Because last week on the show, we were discussing Smarties. Smarties. Yeah.

V M&Ms. We were delving into the history a little bit of the evolution of the M&M Mini. Yeah. Then also, now, the Mini Smartie. The question we came up with was, is this a two heavier marketplace? They're just bashing heads, these two giants of the confectionery world. So we're thrilled that the PR manager of Nestle joins us, Sally. Thank you so much for joining us, Sally.

Hi, how are you? Very good, Sel. Congratulations on what you do. Smarties, an integral part of every child's upbringing. And part of every adult's upbringing. Oh, and part of every adult as well, right? Oh, I guess so. Yes, it's ages. It's showed ages.

Yes. Our question, our question, Sal, and I've struggled to find an answer of this online was, what I believe the M&M mini came first and then mini M&Ms are more recent, mini smarties. Sorry, mini smarties are a more recent addition to the smarty lineup. They are a fairly recent addition. They are, yes, we launched those last year. We are, look, we were discussing this last week on the show, we've came up with an idea. We're just nervous that it appears that smarties are trying to copy M&M minis. Not, I mean, yeah. That could be the charge that's leveled. And hence we have a product like that.

Right, maybe you're both in the same category now. Yeah. And so we went, well, why did smarty go minis? With their delicious, by the way. But why do they go minis when they could, as anyone thought of the maxi smarty? That being one giant smarty. Yeah. That is in its own container.

It only affects your way of going. It only affects your way of going. Yeah. So how do we decide on the color? Oh, the way of the fun. And that's the like a kind of surprise, Sally, that is the fun. Not to be mentioning all these other companies.

Do you know what is crazy? And I'm just getting to this now with my little boy. But you see kids, Sally, I promise you the most incredible marketing words you can have on a pack is collect them all. I mean you would just go, all you have to do is go, I'll tell you what color it is, collect them all. Then the shit that people are pumping out in the toy world, right, collectable figurines, if you make one you make 50 and you just go collect them all, you can go bananas, go collectible, no reason, no reason, and then you make three that are silver gold or sparkly in the rare ones and then the kids go bananas trying to get the rare ones.

So do collectible, we're not telling you what smarties have had. You get a sticker or you get like a tattoo to show your friends you've now achieved the full rainbow and then do like a gold one a rare one yeah and it could be the ticket to come into the factory wow the golden smarty the golden money so Sally have we I mean I'm not sure if you know the history there in the Nestle but have they ever toyed with did anyone float the maximum smart going a bit bigger you miss what I don't I don, actually, I'll have to have a chat and get back to you on that one, that one. Before you make it, before you make it, Sal,

I will say this to you. Be, two things to be careful of. I don't think the maxi smarty, this will be controversial, should have exactly the same dimensions as the standard smarty. As in ratio, as in that shelter chocolate, that kind of overloid shape, whatever it is, that fat frisbee, because when you're eating through the middle,

there's a huge amount of chocolate. It should probably to keep a more pleasing ratio of shelter chocolate, be a flatter shape, would you consider doing that? Like a gold coin, kind of a chocolate. I still like to see the outside fin and the inside thick curve. Like a dip. But not as thick as it would you to blow up a normal smiley. The other thing I would say to you is that I don't know if this goes against the holy fuss of smarties.

It would, the melt in the hand factor would become a big issue because it's now a two-handed smarty. Could you somehow Lackarosh or you know have a have less I'm not saying you go the full Eminem Which is I'm with the the color doesn't come off But just some sort of less less color on the fingers. Would you grow that under? Yeah, absolutely Or we're gonna have to come up with some creative packaging there perhaps to help hold it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gloves, Maxie's, Maxie's starting gloves, 1295, so I'll separately collect them all. You got a glove at you. You must wear the same color. Yes, glove as you get in the smarty. Yeah, that's good. And then I suppose you can sell a glove satchel because you have a Smartie's branded glove satchel where you carry around all your gloves in. So when you buy a Maxi Smartie from the shops, you open up

Guess Green. I've got green. I've got my glove satchel with me put my green ones on. So, Sally, with regards to how big, when Hamish is mimeing eating one, looks as big as a quarter pound. It seems like your Maxi Smartie is as big as a quarter pound. Do you know what the actual almost perfect dimensions for it would be, just the top lid of a McDonald's cheeseburger bun, just that shape.

Okay, I mean, you obviously make it a bit more symmetrical, but that sort of size and feel. It would still count as maxi if it was the top lit of an orange juice container. Yes, we know that, but this is a one serve. And we do need to be mindful of, you know, proportion and I'm only talking about a 45 to 55 gram serving size here. My point is, Ham is, do we not quite go with treat? We got to be treat wise, we all know that. Not quite go as big, we might lose our, like for instance, we might lose our opportunity

to have clicked them all, but if it was a single roll, kind of like coolments or mentors, sorry, and of the biggest matters, and you kind of flick them out like that, like roll those used to do, as a different approach to a man. How many in a roll eight no sorry self sorry you need to be there for that no we're just gonna

go one big one we're gonna go a maxi smaddy well good is there do you guys have the ability there to make a maxi smie? Or are they... You know, we actually have a team of chocolate experts. So, I think this is a case of, I'm going to have to talk to my people and who can come back to your people to actually see what is even possible. Can we make a Maxie Smartie? The dimensions are critical to get shelter chocolates.

Well, we'll leave it in your court. If there's any inkling that you guys can go down this and we can get a beta version My heart of one of the Mac these parties. We're very interested in helping out with development So we will not hear back from you, hey? We'll talk to Sim Glove and bag manufacturers to get the love and love satchel You can see the show back, right? Yeah. It's a big time. Yeah, absolutely. Okay, thanks so much, Sally. Appreciate it. Please, I'll see you. Stay in touch. Thank you. And the very, very, very, very small aquatic elephant in the room, the fish

is the issue that last week on the show came to our attention that you're trying to get rid of the fish out of your house. You and your girlfriend share a fish. And initially it was her fish. You pretended to be on board for a while. Jack and I suspect your confidence in other areas of the relationship is built up to a point where you think you have enough goodwill collateral to now Make this move relocate the fish and get the fish out of the house She loves the fish. You want to tip the fish into a pond a house fish into a wild pond. It won't stand a chance You know it's a death sentence. You know it's a death sentence. No, it's it my dad's pond. It's a death sentence for a fish

That's used to living in a house watching TV Nice warm house. Yes. So last week on the show, I agreed to legally represent your girlfriend back on behalf of the fish fighter. If you missed it everybody, this is what was presented. If you want fighter to go and live in a pond, you must spend 24 hours in the same pond. So you have an appreciation of, and he's considering it.

I don't think you've lost one of these berries. Back, you really lost what's his fish god? Oh no. Four hours? No, 24 hours. 24 hours. Can we meet somewhere in the middle? Uh, alright, we'll take Sunrise to sunset.

There. I'll ever think about it and come back to the next show. Thank you. So at the end of the negotiation there, I thought about it. The deal was strong. I couldn't believe you were thinking about it. Yep. and come back to the show. Thank you. So at the end of the negotiation there, I thought about it. The deal was strong. I couldn't believe you were thinking about it.

The I said you need to spend 24 hours in the pond. We managed to get that sun up to sun. Sun rise to sun. Sun said perfect on a year for that, because, well, no, it's just less daylight hours. If it's cold. Yeah, so what are you asking with it? What I've come to.

What is there an update? You said I'll get back to you Yes, there is an update so I was down the coast on the weekend and As will leave in Beach House. I grabbed my wetsuit Very good and which you have been using for nothing Absolutely nothing

Absolutely nothing. Absolutely nothing. Tried to go for one swim, but my face got too cold. You need a balance line up. Yeah, yeah, or just I think so for stay out of the water. Press stroke and... Yeah, press stroke and be honest. Anyway, so grab my wetsuit, grab my birdies and toss them in the back of the car.

And that goes, what's that for? And I said, well, I've got a sit in Dad's pond with the other fish. That's what I've heard. 12 hours. This week at some point. And I'm going to get caught. And I'm just going to order Uber Eats. I've worked that out.

Charge my phone, take my iPad, watch a few shows. Yeah, you can knock off a box set. Yeah, I've got a box set. Where is the pond that your parents have? Yeah, outside my parents have. So the Wi-Fi will reach. Yep, yep. Knock off a box set at order of the reeds

and probably have some fried chicken and get this fish out of the house. Just so efficient. And so. Having beaten you. And I just love the links you'll go to to go. You thought you were offing me with an eculoskeletal? I will do the unthinkable.

Yeah. And Beck said, just so you know, the fish isn't going period. Well, that was the offer. I was acting under her instructions. And I said, well, you made the deal. She's no, I didn't make the deal. How much made the deal? I was acting with her best intentions.

I will admit that. She did not instruct me to make the 24-hour offer. What you've correctly assumed there was that was a gamble for me, it was a ploy and you're now calling. And she said, the fish isn't going. And I said, it's driven a rift between me and my client.

And I said to her, so I can't go and sit in the pond. She says, you can't even want the fish is staying. So I wonder if you, I've decided fish is staying. Well I wonder if you... I've decided not to. Well I wonder if you did do it if we'd legally so I have to put the fish in there because I was her lawyer in that moment. I mean shame on me, maybe I shouldn't have made that deal.

Yeah but maybe I don't charge her for that consultation or... No, no, no money. No, no fee, I'm sorry. The fish unfortunately has been relocated of so it's not going now the fish will stay For now, what's your next plan? Because the fish will not stay I Know see next week. I can't see this being Andy going okay the fish can now sleep in bed with us I love the fish to pieces. Yeah, you don't like the fish

Yeah, the fish has definitely got a target on its back. Thank God it's got three-second memory because I wouldn't want to be that fish. I'd rather forget about my current scenario where I've got a Putin-like figure trying to get me out of the house using every tactic you can think of. No, no. You're living hell for that fish. The fish is gone. Yeah, well, we'll see. Well, that's a... that's not a good sign for the fish, is it? Okay. Let's see you next week. I don't feel listening to this.

Again, thank God you'll forget this, because you're a dead fish, swimming. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.