Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2018 Ep 21

Episode Date: July 18, 2018

1. New tracksuits?2. Andy’s Mum - party prank3. The Deli Experience4. The People’s Junket update5. Upset Andy6. Tennis ad7. Bird or Absurd

A least-snap production. Activate your internet. Cause the Haymission and the Podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. Look at here. Look at here. Look at ya! It's look at ya!

Yuck! Alright, now tell us the question. I mean, not yuck to the language. Yuck to your face. It looks like you're bringing curse on us. Tell us the language of what country that comes from to make it a low, low, low, low. I went no guessing from Jack of R.I. You're a bit so.

It's no interest in us. We're probably looking out the end. We'll probably get complaints. We'll probably get complaints for this one because it was my attempted Klingon or whatever Star Trek's language is. A funny one. Again, you'll get a complaint for that. Bring them on. She'd be down with your lasers. I'll get a complaint for that. Maybe Klingon's only you two do I looked up hello in Klingon. Yeah, the Star Trek language and In every forum it was there is no word for hello Because Klingon people get straight to the point

Much like we're trying to do with cutting out the guessing phase There you go. It's been an acceptable greeting. Is this? So yeah, anyway, that's my attempt at that. Won't do it again. What else is you learning anything else about Clion? I tried not to. Yeah, I tried. Squinted at the screen,

didn't get in my brain, extra facts, I can't know this. I can't get this against everything. Yes, exactly. I mean, you always hear that thing about like, oh, Clion, it's a whole language they invented just for the show.

It's like, well, big deal. I get a Vennel language. Bookity, bookity. That's actually that's bookie board. So that one sounds really like English. But bookity. Goody. Ah, that's Lioness.

So that's very, very different. So carefully, you don't say bookie board instead of Lioness. I mean, my point is, if you have the time, anyone can finish it. And you put a Vennel language if you have the time. So what you're really saying is, like, is, if you had the time, anyone can do it. And you could have been a language if you had the time. So what you're really saying is, like, oh, can you believe we did this thing? Yeah.

You're really saying is, can you believe we had the time to be bothered doing this? I think, can you believe we wasted our time? Yeah. Exactly. What? On this thing, on this thing. Because the pyramids are a combination of, can you believe we wasted our time

last did a hard thing? Yes. Yeah. Inventing cling on is, can you believe we wasted our time doing a thing that anyone could do? That's why the Pyramids are more impressive than the language of Klingon. We've finally discovered the truth.

And speaking of great inventions, the idea of wearing tracksuits this year every day we did the podcast was a good idea. Yeah. And we stand by that idea. It's comfortable. It provides a uniform. It provides a sense of team'smanship.

On the podcast, we've been following the podcast all year. We started in Adidas many, many weeks ago, we switched to Puma. I think it was late May. Late May people were big. May we, we, we, we, we, coming your birthday episode.

Yeah. I remember correctly. People were beginning to go, what's the deal you guys with out of that? So we've been sold out. And no, no. And Pima reached out and said, hey, if tracksuits are up for grabs, we'll fling you on.

But they flung us a few. That was fine. Again, not a sponsorship deal. We're just looking for things, do we just looking for an easy uniform and sports companies do make tracksuits. I, as I see in Indiana Jones, chose poorly. I chose the track suit that made my hair grow rapidly

and I exploded into a skeleton for the last crusade. I picked a stinger. I picked what a holy grail out of a lot of different grails. We, there's a box, there was a cardboard box. This is not Indiana Jones, this is now what happened last. It's a cardboard box and there's a flurry of excitement the day the new track suits came in. And everyone was trying to balance the two things you meant to do in that situation of going, do I be a greedy boy?

You know, which we know Jack is capable of, do I be a greedy boy? Jack's first. And I know I look like a Greedy Boy now, but I might get two months of rowing the best tracksuit. And that's some people see that as an acceptable trade-off. Yeah. Then, which I see, what you didn't enter, you played it quite well, you went,

I'll hang back, and I've got a chance here of making someone, I also look like a Greedy Boy, which is a short term loss, and in their panic, because they might not like the title of Greedy Boy, they might feel self-conscious of greedy boy, they might feel self-conscious, they'll choose wrongly, they also get a long term loss and I can have both the short term gain and a long term gain. That's exactly what happened. By not being greedy boy, letting someone else make a mistake while they are a greedy boy,

you did that well. I was probably a little bit of a greedy boy, I knew I didn't want yellow, I thought at the time I thought I was going to make my skin tone look bad and it probably That's probably not a wrong statement What that did was played quite well into your hands yellow makes your skin look quite good You've got a much better style tracks. It's like a cool retro 70s tracksuit. I've ended up with a drug deal I've ended up with an absolute stinker Hey, it's a it's half drug dealer

Half mostly Gold Coast retiree. It just looks like a power walker on the Gold Coast. Who's on their way to a 430 buffet. So I've, it's been a bit of a thorn in my side the whole time. And you said on last week's podcast that next week, I said enough is enough. You're going to, you want to bring a change to the track suits. Yeah. How have we gone? I've given Jackson audio to play. He hasn't listened to it. Hit it, Jack. Ladies and gentlemen, would you please rise?

Plus, seriously, everyone's stand up. And begin taking off your old track suits. Because their new track suits are ready! OK, to be announced. And the announcement is they will be here in two weeks Now put on your old tracksuits and enjoy those delicious fumar suits. We all love them. We always said we love them What's two more weeks? All right, all right, okay. I'm sitting back down and putting

Why Jack it back on I even though I knew what was coming up the feeling of having organized He tracks it was a dizzying high for me. I just knew the week Two weeks now they'll be here. Yeah, I just knew I've had so much on I've had a lot of busy week Not done any busy week and Nike ones were getting okay interesting You just made your hair up on this spot. It's like terrible hair from your truck. I mean, you're terrifying. You're so terrifying. Absolutely terrible hair. Let's talk about it.

Let's talk about it. No, we got it. Stop trying to click over here. Stop trying to click over here. I'm afraid, did you think that's what I'm doing? Let's talk about about me being a fan of it. So let's see the poo that you're holding you left in. You're trying to click over here. But seriously, Jack's hair has been getting a little bit more out of his smoke bomb. Just not real. Okay, let's talk about Jack's hair in a moment. But let's talk about your lack of ability to organize anything right now.

Nike tracksets are on the way and I think you'll enjoy them. So a Nike and a send them for free because that's been the theme. Yeah, I did a cinema for free to begin with no cost to the show. No cost to the show. Okay, so this is what this is the order I think it happens in Hamish's head and this is what exactly what happened with the Hamish and any coins that took months and months to come. Yeah, months and months thought about them in January and they were getting minted by the world's best. He says when he says I'm gonna surprise you with an idea, that means he'll start thinking about it when he says they're on their way, that means he'll finally send the email,

or whatever he's gonna say. I'm here with your saying, I'm so distracted by your hair. Don't you think it's the worst hair? I think you're right Jack, I think it's exactly two weeks. So, Mark and I are in Calender. I'm in. And then he starts pointing to our producers.

I'll stay on the way. Oh, I said the post office, I just got the slip, gotta go pick it up, that means you may fall in the dispatch for wherever they come in next week. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER BELL RINGS Carry on here, guys.

LAUGHTER MUSIC MUSIC MUSIC Jack, I just spoke to Hamish about this morning. My mum's in go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom.

I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom.

I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom.

I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. I'm going to go to the bathroom. and they're all very adjacent and they're all tiny rooms in the walls of paper things. So everyone can hear everything that's going great. Gotcha. And I said, so Mum how's it going? She goes, oh look, I'm not sleeping that well. So that's fine, that's fine. She goes, I said, two weeks and you get through this. She goes, yeah, I'm not complaining.

It's just, I, she's selling under complainer mark. No, she said, I'm not, I'm not sure whether I'm the most popular person in the ward at the moment. I said, I would think with the rehab schedule, they don't even have time for a popular conference. You know what it'd be, good idea for morale. But I said, oh, why is that? She said, oh, well, it was 11 o'clock at night,

and it was kind of lights out, and everyone was quite quiet. Getting good scene, guys, tomorrow's swim suit. You want to win this popularity contest. And Mum has a new phone and iPhone. She hasn't ever really had a phone before, and so she's just getting used to it. Right. She sent, for instance,

she sent a text message to the family that just said Fiona, Fiona, Fiona, Fiona, Fiona. Fiona, Fiona, Fiona, it's different, different texts every time. And she was trying to write Doona. So have she, hey, I've washed the Fiona, Fiona, Fiona, Fiona, Fiona. So, it's a Steve Wanning curve, she's on. But she's discovered news, so she likes getting news alerts.

That's the widget. Yeah, and so she got alert at 11 o'clock at night, because she couldn't really sleep, she could have a little good look at news. And it came in that it said, Fev's big disaster or something, was something about Brendan Favoll of football player. You're right.

And I'm like, oh yeah, I'll see what Feb's disaster's all about. That is not much is worth sacrificing sleep for, but Feb news I'll take. So she clicked on it, and it went through to, he's on the radio, people who don't know. Fox FM in Melbourne. And it went through to the's on the radio, people who don't know. Fox FM in Melbourne. And it went through to the Fox FM's listen page

and started blaring the music. And my love, the live stream. The live stream of the radio. And it was at night, so it was party tunes right? And she had volume. She has volume way up because that's the way she likes to listen to things normally for speaker phone. And it is blaring.

And it's echoing, right? And so, and she can't turn it off she has no idea how to manage it in there in this place the hot pop music that is whaling from her phone until got a knock on the door and the nurse walked in and he goes having a little party you knew you're all right oh that is the last thing your mum would worry about it No, my mum is not a part of you. She's a do-good at it. She's a very much a do-good. She's a goodie too, she's. Yeah, not a dancing, dancing three-years. No. And so we thought, as a bit of a fun, I've got the direct line here to the hospital.

It might be fun for Hamish to ring the hospital now as if he's a high-up doctor. Yep, one about this as a thinking. Do I go, you got to turn your phone in. Yep, you can't have me for- I think we, one about this, I was just thinking, do I go, you gotta turn your phone in? Yep, you can't have any. I think we just, you know, you understand that we can't have party balloons. We're gonna come take your phone off you at night, at night, to stop these late night balloons.

What I'd like to, yeah, that's great. And what I also like to put in there, if you can get it, is, if you want a party at home, yeah, that's okay. Yeah, she goes to bed at night, no. Yeah, party in your own time. Yeah, it's just a party at home, yeah, she goes to bed at night, not in her own house, but all in serious business that people are there. Going to bed to have a seat. Margaret Lee speaking. Margaret Lee, my name is Dr. Waldox. How are you?

I'm well thanks. One of the supervisors of the wards how are you enjoying your stay it's fine yes it's great thanks lovely lovely my great hope this is not too delicate a situation but it's part of my job as ward supervisor to deal with any abnormalities that come up on the ward and I understand we had a bit of a music incident to a few nights ago. Oh, yes, that was me.

Right. I turned on something for my son that he'd sent me, and I just couldn't turn it off. Right, we have a couple of different noise complaints. Some described it as a party. Yeah, that's what the girl said to me when she came in and said, you having a party in here. I said, no, I just can't turn this phone off. Obviously, yeah, of course

Understand that can be the case Now look the cases I see it Obviously we we don't want to we don't want to make too big a fuss about this But it's you I'm sure you can understand we need to have a low noise environment. Yes, after lights out certainly no parties so to a low noise environment after lights out certainly no parties. Totally. So to look, I mean we are obviously you're free to do what you choose as long as it doesn't impact on anyone else. I mean you're free to party in your own time, you can certainly party it on. I don't want to party at all, thank you very much.

Okay. Well I don't want to, I don't want you to feel like I'm imposing any undue limitations on you. But I was, if you'd be interested, we can set up a party room. Oh, hang on, excuse me, are you for real? We can set up a party room in the ward, you can go and have your parties in there just now. I'm sorry, no, you're right, it's okay. It's a deal, it's a deal, it's a deal, I'm doing it. You're party animal man. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you.

I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you.

I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you.

I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see you. I see me, I don't like your attitude here. And I don't know, I better be polite. Like, are you wrong people? Would you be interested in a party room, mate, if we've been set one up in the wall? We know you love to party, but we can set up a soundproof party room. Why did I thought you've, I've really got...

Oh, I'm so angry with you, but you got me. Well, we do come bearing a serious message. Do you keep the party until minimum? LAUGHTER A simple mistake, an innocent mistake. I'm sure a doctor at Warlocks won't get another complaint from the ward. Love you, Mum. Thanks again. Oh, thank you, darling. Bye.

Thanks, Mum. Bye-bye. MUSIC Love you, Mum. Thanks again. Oh, thank you, darling. Bye. Thanks, Mum. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. MUSIC And a very exciting day to date. What was first because a man that we're intrigued by. Yep. Last episode, Ventschid at our cost. Yes. We were able to fly him to the studios here.

It was a special skill worthy of flight. Yep. Yep. Yep. Very, we rubber stamped. We sent it all the way up worthy of flight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Very we we rubber stand. We send it all the way up to the top. Got the travel order approved. I know very sort of cheap. No overnight stay down in the morning back in the afternoon. Get on back. Please one one day round trip to Melbourne. But it was very exciting for a young man named Robbie. And exciting for us. Ham. Can you read Eddie's special skill? For people that need a refresher from last episode, he said, look, I used to work at the Woolies Delhi.

At first, it started as a game to keep me entertained. But then I got good. I'll be able to get within 10 grams when asked for a specific amount of cold meat. The talent extends from honey ham to Danish slimy, I can even do it with rare roast beef, said Robbie. It caught our attention.

He backed it up again when we found in, we said, mate, we've got to see it in person. In Canada today, we had the meats selected and waiting in a room. We had a digital scale. We had everything set up. Everything you would need.

But we wanted to talk to the contestant. Of course. Robbie, thank you very much for coming. Thank you for having me. The meat, man. The meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, the meat, for having me. The meat, man. The meat, master. Are you the meat master? Are you more the whites wizard?

I specialize in meats. I don't know if I can just pick up anything until you the way. Oh, yeah. You're the meat master. He's the meat master. He's the meat master. So you can just pick up like a shoe and go. I would have no idea.

No idea. 100 tons, one gram. Talk us through, Robbie, since we obviously set the challenge, there's an opportunity to go and practice. Yeah, there was an opportunity. Did you take it? Yeah, so I did spend a little bit on some cool meat last night at Lowe's. What? I've been interested in what dollar value do you put on being prepared?

Like, how much did you spend on meat? Well, an H&A coin costing what? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? So what I'm hearing is about 8,000 dollars worth of old investment. 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? 10 dollars? Robbie, what kind of practicing is going on? Did you have scales at home? Yeah, so I had a scale.

It wasn't as legit as the World War Scales, but it did the trick. We actually tried to get the World War Scales. Yes, we asked them and they said no. There's no easy way to say that. Yeah, from just the honest truth. There's no way to sugarcoat that or honey ham, cosette. But it's OK.

We've got a solder scale. Are you familiar with solder, the brand? No. From what we understand, they're one of the best. They're one of the best. It's a digital scale, it doesn't take it to decimals, but it won't take it to this single ground. Okay, perfect.

We've got the meats that you requested. Yeah. There's four of them there. There are some meats. We thought that we would have a situation to set the tone. We'll go into the room, the ring, the meter drone, Hamish and I, one at a time will come up and order some meat from you. Are you happy with this format?

Yeah, so we're doing the jelly experience. The jelly experience. That's what I want. That's where I'm most comfortable. So we'll be playing the roles customers. We come up with, say for example example 240 grams of salami please. This is where I need I had a discussion and I'll be interested to get you to take it. I'll be on the side with you saying the customer. You then take the chunk of salami, put it on the scale. So you

obviously can't see the readout and he's on the side of the screen and it's covered. I initially thought it would be okay for you to look at the scale and maybe take some off and then go, I'm happy with that. But I think it's maybe more of the deli experience for you to only get one shot at putting it on. I think one shot should be, should be good. Yes, because that's the gala that I'm going to be in for the day. But I wanted you to say, but I was just, he was a friend of the guys

who wanted to take a slice off too often. Because in the deli situation, you would look at the scales, then take on it off. Yeah, exactly. You're right, you're right. You're right, I'm just, I just think it's such a hard thing for him to be able to do. Let's stick with the deli experience, TN.

So you, again, there's two different skills here that people might be wondering. One skill would be someone that just puts a lump of ham on and goes, that's 6.30. We're asking you to customize our requests. So, we're asking you to go, we'll be saying, no, I want 6.30 in advance, you feel it in your hand and you go, that's the daily experience.

Yeah. I mean, I don't sound like I'm going over it over here because it just seems like that's such an incredible skill. It is. But we're all clear, we're all on the same page. Yeah. Right. Robbie Besterluck, we'll see you in the deli.

Thank you. So there you have it. Robbie was set him. Yeah. We had kind of created like a game show type atmosphere. No expense, babe. What's some expense? Yeah.

In fact, one meet we didn't select because it was too expensive. But we had four meets set up and we were excited actually because we put a lot of effort into making the boardroom look spectacular. It was downlit. There's like a spotlight. It felt a bit like millennia.

People would be able to see it, go to the socials, go to pick your pipe, go to the website, social pamphlet, whatever you want. An infinity black background with down lights and ham. And it was beautiful, the symbolism wasn't because it was like, you couldn't see anything outside of the spotlight because what that says from a staging perspective is, this is all that matters. Why feel this meat, Robbie?

Feel this meat, tell us the grandmage. Wow, here we are. Now Robbie, this is the first time you've been here inside. What we call you? The made a drone? I don't know. The Delhi, the beta drone. The Delhi experience. First time you've been here in the del experience, we've had to set up in the border in here at the radio station. You have four meets in front of you. We now begin the inspection of the meets. So Turkey, Ham, Salami, and then Rose Beef. Now,

full disclosure, you requested rare roast beef. This is not, this is not rare roast beef. This is roast beef. Does that change the molecular composition? And therefore the weight. The density is different. Okay, I'll take that into consideration.

Yeah, Baron Mollein. What a champion. You have the option of, as customers, you don't know what we're going to ask for. We will only ask for three meets. That's true. Which adds a bit of excitement to the game. Which week will they leave out? We can all, for people that don't like guessing, but do like, meet exclusion.

This game has something for everyone. Perfect. The Turkey you'll see, the big slice as it seems to us. Now if we're asking it in 10 gram increments, we foresee a situation we might rip a turkey piece in half. Would you ever do that at the deli? We have to, I suppose, to get on the money. So we will allow that. We're just letting you know,

we'll allow the manipulation of the business. We now begin the turning out of the scales. Scales are on. Yep, that's make sure that's 10 to zero. You're happy with that? Yep, I'm happy. We're showing Robbie the zero count and grams as well. 10 grams rather than pounds. We would have 8 packs on a cock up. Okay, he's a good player. He's a good player. He sells back and then Hamish and I'll go back to the presentation area. Hi and welcome.

To the Deli experience. To you. Here we are down at ground zero about to order our first first meat order from the Delhi. The first customer today will be Andy. Andy will approach Robbie and ask for a certain grandage of a certain hamage or other meat. Good luck Andy. Thank you very much. A good luck Robbie. Thank you very much. Andy now to approach. I'm going to be.

The things racing through Andy's mind at this moment would be what meat, what grammage. Can I make a recommendation? Oh, and the deli. And the deli. It's good. Yes, yes. Hey, Andy.

Welcome. What's fresh today? The ham is always fresh. OK. Well, I might have some of your shaved champagne ham. Thank you. God, no decision. Deli Man.

And may I have 350 grams. 350? Yes. Has selected. Almost a third of a kilo Robbie now picking up the meat. Perfectly weighing. And it's an overhand claw grip. Jesus got quite a bit.

He's letting some dangle off. He's really here's focusing. He's here's both hands now, there's a slight amount of shake, and he's put it down on the scale. He's just making sure all we have rests on the scale. I'd say the first one's the hardest. No reference point. I'm going for the look, Ham.

And he's only got the scale. Would you like to come and have a look here? Andy asked for 350 grams. We have 348 grams! Oh God! This kid! This kid! This kid!

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it! Don't touch it! That is un-bully unbelievable! You have way too much, I don't know. You have way too much. I didn't want to say that I was mentally was mentally heckling the shoe out of it.

It was like, what is the last thing you've tried? I told you all this funny part of slamming down. He's fucking the coin. He made it, he did. Look at that, he's been bouncing between $3.48 and $3.49. Yeah. Happy he asked for ham. It is my specialty.

Gradset felt right, didn't question it, went with my gut, put it on the scale. I thought he was well over. When I saw him pick up that, I thought he's picked up by some people to have a whole peak. I thought it was over a kilogram. I just thought it was far too much ham. It's actually not a visual thing at all, it's completely based on weight. So when I pick it up, I just need to have a good feel.

Make sure that it feels right. Make sure that felt like 350 grams. I'm blind away and blind away. This kid knows what he's doing. And he's now one correct white away from a corner. MUSIC Hard of game for you now. Here we go.

Because you've only got three meets to choose from. Three meets for... You're just joining us, the statistics are this. Robbie has one golden meet. He's correctly guessed the weight and measured out the weight of the hand. I feel like hand was his sweet spot though. Three meets in play, two meets are left to event with, and only one meet to to guess correctly for Robin

a bit of coin. I am the customer for this round. Off you go my friend. What meet shall I choose and what grammage shall I request. You'll find out. Let's see. Hey, miss you. How you going?

I'm pretty welcome to the deck. Thanks man. Just two kilos of ham please. Two kilos of ham. Oh, you see. You're a bit low. Oh, that's okay. That's okay. kilos of ham. Oh, you see, you're a bit loud here man. Oh, that's okay, that's okay.

That's okay, I love it. Anything else you could. Actually, I just remember, she's trying to throw him. Yeah, I think we're gonna have a, have a little bit of a party at our house. Gonna make some turkey sandwiches, do you have any turkey? We do have some turkey. It's sliced, all right.

Oh, thanks for asking. Yeah, slice is great. Can I get a good customer service from Robbie, he did never choice. Why can't 580 grams? 580? 580 is sliced turkey. Slice turkey. Got a 580 on a pre-type budget.

Okay, yeah. Perfect. Robbie here reaches in now. Slice to him. He is just confident with his order. He's giving me the thumbs up. It seems heavier, off the me, it seems it's gonna be harder to get within a couple of grams.

He's folded back in, he's kind of half using his head as a scale, no, he's gone back in with his left hand to add one more half slice, as he puts it down upon the scales. Oh thanks so much man. I'll just have a look. Is it a 580 you want it? 580 yes.

I'll now approach the bench with excitement. Oh. I said 580 mate. 770. Oh. Wow. Sorry. Yeah, maybe I misled you with the party but um, I'm sorry.

Yeah. I'm sorry, baby. Oh no. Seven, seven. Oh, wow. Sorry, baby, I misled you with the party, but I can't afford that. I, I, I, I, what a blow. I must walk. Wow, that's fun. They've at least lost their sail. It's, it's, it's, it's okay. Okay, that's okay. Thank you, though.

No, no. You're a customer service is excellent. Good, good. See you next time. I wasn't as confident as I was with the ham. I thought I would have been a bit closer than 200 grams of. Without a doubt, I expected those girls to say 580 on the nose. I was as shocked as anyone that was 770. Yeah, I can't afford that.

He lost the customer. Deli lost the customer. That made spoiled. Immediate regret. It didn't feel right. And I feel like an idiot for choosing so much meat. Look, he's had a bad day in that particular moment. But I reckon good meat whares bounce back. I was a bit thrown off with the large request. I was practicing with between 300 and 400 grams last night.

It felt a bit heavy. I didn't feel great about that order. Hopefully I can pick it up there the next time. And that's what we're excited to see for the final round. As Robbie returns to the deli, he's had smaco, shaken it off, he's had a break, he's had a 15 minute break, he's legally allowed.

Come back to the deli, service final customer, he gets this right, he gets a coin. Gotta love this guy. So I'm hoping they don't go for the slimy, it's deceivingly later than it works. Never has this contest gone to the third round. Here we go the third and final round. One correct me. One slightly overestimated me. Was it the extra bits of Turkey he put on? Yes it has to be. Was he too much turkey?

Was he full of adrenaline after the win on the first one? So suddenly his strength, powering through his body made him feel like something was lighter than it was. Now it's down to Andy. Willie Pigsalami, Willie Pigg roast beef as the final meat request. Robby gets this correct. He's walking out of here with a coin. If not, he'll be scrunching up his open slamming on the ground no doubt slamming the little behind him and swearing at us. It's an exciting conclusion to the meat weight off. I mean, we can have him quite settled on a name for. People are hungry at my house. I'd better head to the deli. Good luck, man. I'll stand over here in the cereal aisle. I'm like my nose. It's the same over here in the cereal aisle.

Oh, hi there. Sorry I have to circle back. I forgot something. That's all good. Any other recommendations today? The beef is looking really good. The beef is looking really rare, A-R-A-S-B. That's one.

But it is looking good. That is good. My family do love beef, so yes, I'll have some beef. Thank you. And it has beef gone beef. No, I'll have some beef. Thank you. Thank you. Sure. And he's gone beef. No, I have 420 grams. 420 grams. And he's gone 420 grams of beef, which is the equivalent of the front, sort of the shin of a cow.

Robbie weighing it out now. He's got it in a flat way in the palm of his hand. He's putting the slices on. He's really it in a flat way in the palm of his hand. He's putting the slices on. He's really thinking about this. He knows what's on the line. He's weighted. And he's left hand. He's weighted and he's right. Where's 420? He's saying to himself. No, he's put one slice back. He's got enough. He thinks he's got enough.

That looks great. He doesn't want to repeat the turkey mishap. Okay. The beef is on the scale. The beef from the scale. That's left now is for Andy to do. He's, beef is on the scale. The beef for the scale that's left now is for any to do is for him to reveal the number. Four 20 was what we were after. The scale was off. It has re-zeroed itself at that current level scale miss. And be lifting up the beef. Out the, now we're going to just, zero.

Yeah, I put that back there. It's zeroed. I don't believe it's zeroed. No, it's telling me four or five grams. Why is it not zeroed? It's the scales that we confused. It's bouncing around a little bit. Now it's minus four minus the,

where is the angle itself? Apologies for this Rob. It's a soldier scale. We were told these are the best. That's it. Get it right. Okay. Rob, I'm gonna put that back on.

Yep, that looks good. Okay. All right, again. Oh. 388. Robby uses 32 grams. It's not bad. It's pretty good. He doesn't win.

Robbie, unfortunately this is not yours. She's so close. Get the meat and he has to pay for it. As was the rule stipulated. Because you got so close, we're letting you off the meat payment. Thank you so much. Thank you, Danny. And you're also getting a small certificate for a good effort.

Perfect. And that's all we've got time for. We'll see you next week on Meat Champions. That's the name we're off to. The video's up at www.hammachee.com and our social parts. Even though you know the ending now, we still worth a watch. Still worth a watch because the tension is... It's powerful.

It's phenomenal. Hey, quick one on this, we're loving people that are coming and submitting for the people's junkets. It's boomed, if you remember from last week's episode, if you haven't listened to it, go back to it. Listen to that order. This is our idea because our TV show is coming out early August, true story, season two, get excited. Now, very standard in the lead up to a TV show coming out, you go and do the popular drive shows, you do the breakfast radio shows, you do breakfast TV, you talk to news.com.com, you talk to the Fairfax press, but what about the smaller media outlets?

Often neglected, Andy. Often left out of those junkets, the community radio shows, the high school newspapers, the independent YouTube channels. I believe last episode, you're talking about an internal mind and use web app. These are just examples. These are not the rules. If you have any media outlet, what's the word? I real life examples come in Sarah and Danielle.

They do a gossip podcast. Goss Cast. Have only had a couple of downloads so far. They believe it's family. You had a... You had that, you're making something. That's what you want to reward. People making things.

We would love, we would love to give you a slot but apply. Apply. The people's junk at its call. This is, we're going to do a day of four minute interview slots. As many as we can fit in, back to back to back. So you only get four minutes.

So have your questions organized. Because it's a super fast interview slot. We are aiming for it to be in Sydney. It's going to be on Saturday the 4th of August. So it will look beautiful. We'll film it. We'll give you a USB stick. You can have the interview film.

You just have to worry about your questions and getting there. If you get selected and hopefully we provide you with some decent content for your whatever medium it is that you operate in. If you are a far reaching part of Australia still submit, we'd love to hear about your publications. We may be able to work some ways out. There's some arm twisting going out channel nine. As we said I think on last episode, you can get to Sydney in crazy chances of getting a slot, but if you can't still apply because we do enjoy, if there's one arm we like to twist

and we've enjoyed twisting for years now, it's the arm of terminal. I'd like to give us money. And so much success, obviously the week after your birthday or the week after your birthday I think it was a couple of weeks ago ago for your birthday edition of Upset Andy. Only two months ago, yeah. Yeah, it was several weeks ago. But we just had so many flowing in. It seems offensive to not do more.

Oh. I don't want to offend anyone. Well, you're about to offend me, Jed, really. It's a necessary cost to rid the world of the rest of the events. Let's do it. Everything is neat and practical, because that's the way he likes it. But what if it wasn't? Upset Andy. Jack, are you mentioning you had an upset Andy from the weekend?

Well, we'll see. It's a car-based one, so there's a good chance you won't like it. Okay, yeah. So much useless crap is building up in the back of our car. Well, that's just enough for me. I'm like, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. I know, I know, I know, I know, I know, I know. So much so that when Bianca drives,

she has to pull the seat forward. Stuff has been getting in behind the back of the seat. So now, instead of clearing it out, I just let Bianca drive everywhere, and I am the passenger. Okay. Because you can't move your seat back. Can't move your seat back.

He hits me in the bread basket of two things, for two reasons. A, the sloppiness of the car. Actually, three. Sloppiness of the car, the fact that you can't get around clearing it out so you can drive. And also, I just love driving, don't I, you really love driving it,

we're not going to know Andy for not being able to drive. I just love it, Jay, because it's a classic fast and loose. You're a good fast and loose boy. You've solved the problem, you haven't wasted your time. On Earth, which is limited, might I remind us all? Maximize it while you can. Even wasting time cleaning at a car, like some sort of grub. Never get there.

That's the key. That sounds like even more effort. Jack, I've been noticed, similar thing with car every day, open the door, close the door. I've just been driving around with all my doors open. Ah, don't have one. Take them off. Okay, I've got to do it.

Get into it seriously, Jed, oh, hoi. Oh, hoi, boys, happy birthday. No need. Good boy, Jed. Now, Jed, have you got something that might upset Andy? I think so. So when I'm running out of deodorant, go going you can put it in the drill in front of the old one first and then it's because it's easy

to access. I just use the old one. Straight away. The old one. Yeah. Before finishing the old one. Always empty. Any who's got time for that. Well, but otherwise you end up clattering it up with a lot of half empty ones. And I say that as a buffet. I see, Jett, I've got some of the thing in my bathroom. I've got about five of these cans on the go at the moment. And I've got about four old ones,

the one you went at the front. And then we've got a bit left in them. And even if you get as a scented wind on your underarm and there's nothing in it, you know what, and a nanoscopic level. Something's got made it on. Something's made it onto D-Pets. All right, Ted.

Thank you, and Alex. Personalised, don't get bogged down, organising cans. Alex, so how are you? Oh, how are you going? Very good mates. Actually told off, peck the other day, because I saw a new toothpaste alongside one

that still had at least two fingers worth. Yeah. Oh, and what's this? It's a tension. What? What the heck is this? Yeah, no, she would have, she'd probably still be riding at Lons. And she would do it again. Alex, sorry, Ouy, I guess I'm in the mud upside Andy. Ouy, have you built a Andy? I need. Good boy. So I drive tractor for work and a tractor or a truck? tractor, a truck of the field.

Yes. Truck of the vineyard in this case. Yeah, you're lovely. Yeah, so the steering wheel is not quite center, so it's drawn the tractor straight. The steering wheel is actually been through the road. It's a wheel on the straight. No, it's not.

The wheel alignment means steering wheel. I'm hearing whizzing a hole after that. It's not even a wheel alignment issue steering wheel. I'm hearing losing a whole after a while. Not even a wheel alignment issue. It's a Stinkled hydraulic slip starts to prevent damage in the hydraulic system So you can turn the wheel all day, but the actual wheels on the tractor won't do He's had to explain it. Yeah Alex just sounds like a new kind of hell and a new tractor. He's what required it's like You don't have time to fix any of that. You barely got time to work, good on your boat.

Fast and loose. Lucy, Lucy, a hoi. Hoi, hoi, hoi. Happy birthday, Andy. No, good girl. Lucy, have you got something to an Andy? I'm so happy. So about a year ago, we renovated our bathrooms.

And I was really excited to get all the new towels hung up in the bathroom. So I pulled the turg, got really quickly to get all the new towels hung up in the bathroom, so I pulled the turgues off really quickly to chuck them through the washing and a little plastic, coagaly bit, attached tags, attached tags that think they stayed in the towel. Okay, take any of your scenes from move them, knowing your... You're also late. Well, my whole family is adapted to drying out bodies, not using those corners of the tap. So...

I say it is, Lizzie. Oh. Human beings, what you're doing is using the human brain. It's for capacity. We are adaptive mammals, and... OK, well, here's one thing just to try... Fire one back. Because that would throw off a lesser animal.

I... Not Lucy. I'm chicken-adapt. I'm really disappointed with Lucy. Don't get me wrong. But the part of it that I wouldn't do, which makes me more fast than Lucy and her, I don't wash the towels when they come home. I can, we're just drying ourselves with towels. Yep.

And the fact that she actually put them to the washing would take longer than taking off the plastic thing properly. However, she has kept something that's both unpleasing to your eye and could scratch your body on for a year. Yeah, I hate that. Just as long as we got there. Thank you, Liz. That's it about that.

Sammy, ohoy. Jack, please no giggles during this call. It would be very offended. Great point out, Sammy, because it is an issue. The bullie gets you. Don't let the bullie the bullies get you. The bullies get you. Don't let the bullies use your superpower on you. Smiley, smirking, Sammy, but I'll try and keep a little on that for you.

Sam, far away. So everyone these days is setting alarms on their phone. No busy schedule. Me personally, I have a very busy and unpredictable schedule at uni, so I can't waste my time scheduling alarms. It's too much work for me. It's too much hassle. I'm fast and loose. So what I do, every night before I go to bed,

you know, I just set a new alarm, every night, a new alarm, just set a new one. I've got about 57 o'clock at this point, got about, you know, 80 different night at clock alarms, just, and now I'm at the point where I can't scroll and delete them, they'll take away too long. So just, just a new one every night.

Bill, baby, let me keep building. That's it, that's it. If you wanted to have a day off your phone and send them into me, I'd happily clean that up. And he would honestly be that, Terry, just because it hurts him to know there's that. Someone out there in the water. I don't want Andy prowling around my phone.

I have no idea what he's gonna get up to. I'll tell you what, it's my boy. That's exactly how he's been. That was good, Terry. To see Ando's I-tw twitch when he said 57 o'clock. The worst. The worst. The same as when you see like 50 seconds.

The same doesn't care if I'm just going to terabyte. He's got gigs and gigs. It's probably going to terabyte. Actually, wrap this up for us. A hoi, I miss you, Jack. And happy birthday, Andy. Oh yes. No need, but a hoi back to you, actually.

Good boy. Ash, what are you up? Just a quick shout out to my son, who shares Andy's birthday. Oh, you know what I'm saying? Tell us you're upset, Andy. Well, we all need to eventually once a week fill up our cars with petrol. Each car has a fuel tank on either the right side or the left side of the car. Generally, we park over our car on the side of the fuel pump that closes to our fuel tank.

Yes. But rather than waiting line through a fuel pump to be clear for my left-sided fuel tank I like going to the right side pulling the fuel pump over the boot and filling my tank on the left Save time, it saves time and makes right fuel drivers have to wait till I'm done. There's too much tension on that petrol, but it gets it actually does it get in? Does the fuel get in? It's fuel gets in and parts. Then the system works. It's a very dangerous way. The system works.

The system works. We just can't live in the nanny state where you need two meters of flak on your fuel line. Run it tight and run it all night. Boys, I have a bit of a special announcement to make. Oh, yes. A vision came to me the other day. So, all right. Okay, so like as in like in a dream or something. It actually was pretty close to being knocked off the TV.

No, because I was lying on, we got a new bed, which meant we moved our old bed to the spare room, but I was lying on the new bed, testing it out. And it wasn't bedtime. Yep. It was afternoon time. We were. About 4.30 am lying there, and so busy. LAUGHTER

So I sent my third or fourth hour, just making sure I really liked this bed, and it was good enough to then come back to that night to sleep. And I, who knows, we're in... Ah, Smykel Angelo, ask Caravaggio. Oh, who knows? My is Mark Langello, ask Caravaggio? Oh, who knows? My dad's favorite painter. Who knows where inspiration comes from?

You can't fight it. Except that's the muse. And you don't get to pick the real muse when she hits, when she strikes, when she kisses you gently on their head, it gives you an idea. You can't fight or go, I know I'd like a different idea, please. No. It's not how creative geniusness creative geniusness works in brass caravaggio. I won't.

I'm using kissing on the head and when you know, do that painting of the, you know, do your favourite painting. So he did. I didn't go anything. No, I wanted to do it with horses, right? You can't argue with the BXC. He knew it was his favourite before. He did it.

That's a very. Topping for another day. So. Our point is, because I've been doing it for a long time. I've been doing it for a long time. I've been doing with the M.C. New as his favorite before. You did it. That's a big topic for another day. So, a point is, because I've been gone and made something based on what the M.U.s gave me when she kissed me. And you're gonna go, okay, well, this is relevant to nothing.

And yes, I admit, it is relevant to nothing. But I guess what it's like is having an iPod in 1750. And you're like, just wait. Okay, so you're like when DaVinci did the helicopter, he actually drew a second of a helicopter. I've got a, what I've got to hear is a solution before a problem. Okay.

And now we wait for the problem to present itself. So I will tell you the problem because you need to understand it for what I've written. What came to you as an ad? Or more importantly, a jingle for an ad. For a problem that doesn't exist yet. But it might. understand it for what I've written. What came to you as an ad, or more importantly, a jingle for an ad, for a problem that doesn't exist yet. But it might, what this is an ad that came to me,

in the event that Tennis Australia ever approaches us and says, look, we want people to take up Tennis purely for fitness to increase their aerobic ability and to tone their body. Okay, that's what we want to do. Okay. And this is the possible last one. This would be the ad that would be perfect for that.

Hey, tennis fans, you already know this, but I'm talking to you slubs out there that need to tone up your body. Did you know tennis is the great new way to tone your body? That's right, tennis, the sport of tennis. It involves running, swinging, lunging, jumping, and a small walk by your change ends. That's why we invented this cool new jingle for tennis to be used as a turning sport.

Nick, that crabber rack, give your body a tone. Thank you. Thank you. Nick, that grab a rack, give your bottle a ton. Thank you. You didn't even bother the second line. No, that's it. Nick, that grab a rack, give your bottle a ton. That's the slow, thank you, muse. I don't deserve all the thanks. Thanks to the muse.

You don't know when she'll hit. Thanks for the kids. Thanks for the idea. You can say that on bus shelters. So, this guy gets it clean. When? Dennis Australia call. Is it for free or it's...

Oh, they've had it now. They're going to pretend they were going to do it alone, but they won't. Hey, mate. It's still reeling off the... It's good, isn't it? Yes, no, terrific. Because I think the easy version would have been for any sport, Nicknack Paddywack give you the bottitite. The coolness for the tennis slogan is the grab a rack bit. Yeah.

The nag just makes the only bit. What makes it unique for tennis? It does. Takes away from any of the squash. Very good. We could do it for squash. Should we redo what we just did? I put together a game, and I'm going to pit Hamish against Jack.

I don't want the podcast to be coming a place where just any old thing gets thrown. What? Is it good? I think it's thrown. He's a good. I think it's good. And he's the open up. Bird or absurd. I have got a list of names here. Some are actual bird names. Because I was watching a dog in the other day. A come I was like who's who's naming birds these days?

Yeah, who never's anyway like even the erosion coot I find a silly name One of our least pretty much our least favorite water bird on this show It would be our least favorite water bird in the show after the damage its causes People we know they're not ducks, we think they're similar enough. Similar enough they respond to a similar crack. No, no, no. Okay, so answer four. Okay, so answer four and certainly no need to repeat the ducks on an in test. So the way I'm going to do this is I'm going to say to you, ham, you'll have the serve. I'm going to go, I'm going to say the name. Yeah.

Have I made up an absurd name? Or is it an actual bird name? Great. Blue-footed booby. That's a real name. He's right. And he steams off to a one-nil lead. And Jack would have got that too, because I think there's an essence episode

where Homer's laughing at the bird called a boob and a tit mouse. That sounds familiar. Okay, okay. But Jack, silly name. Doesn't take any way from the faces of Silly name. Ready, Jack? I'm ready.

Yellow bellied sap sucker. I don't know. I don't know, so I'm gonna play more into the area of what kind of setup you would put into the question. Would you put true, true, false, true? I think you would, true. It is true. I'm blown away. One all. Prince Rumpolees night jackal. The music hit you. I'm gonna to say, er, there is a Prince Rumpolly something, but it's not a night jackal.

That's not a bird. It's not a bird. There is no Prince Rumpolly. Rumpolly's not a jackal. Hamish goes to 2-1. A limp-dicked new patch. A limp-dicked... New patch. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha That's false. Because they're probably all limp decked. Well, most of the time. Yeah, I'd imagine. It'd be pretty insulting to single out one bird

and go, that guy. He's a real limp deck. He's a real limp deck. That's the best of all the other birds in the flying round. All the birds must be flying around fully right now. I don't think so. The double woodpecker. Okay, hand.

An Andian cock on a rock. The double woodpecker. Okay, hand. An Andian cock on a rock. Why, where is your hand when you're making this up? That root. True or false. I got a rock. I'm only going to say that's true. Correct.

It's Peruvian. And you guys are in the Andes. Yes. So far, flawless. Yes, you guys have got everyes. Yes. Hmm. So far for all of us. Yes, you guys have got every go on. Jacko. The diabolical knight, uh. Uh, I think if you were to make it up.

Good morning. It sounds like a Batman movie. I think you've made it up. Oh, he's good. But the crazy. I've got all of the... The crazy chicken. Sorry, no, I didn't make that up. Oh, I was that a real one. That's a real one. Oh, he's good. He's good. For the crazy. He's not all of the... For the crazy. Sorry, no, I didn't make that up. Oh, was that a real one?

That's a real one. Oh, right. Sorry. I sucked him in. I sucked him in. Ah, pal, who's Jackie Gacha. No, I didn't make that up. The diabolical knight, which gives Hamish.

The big win. And an unassailable lead. I had one left, but I don't need it to have to go to the... Well, that means he gets a play more than I did, but... Yeah, well, you've already lost them, Jack. Well Well throw on more birding. Okay, saggy sack tit Raven True no Unsurprised the Diabolical Night Chars in there because Most of Annie's man at once had a value judgment in them like the Limp Dick the saggy sack

As sort of having to go with the birds and the the diabolical night revenues, having to go with the birds, but it shows you're allowed to do that in the bird world. You're allowed to have a go at the thing you're naming. I hope you enjoyed that playbook. Like the 2K was originally the big nose wanker. And it already been named by the Brazilians, so the English were rather upset and have to accept 2K. We'll see you next week.

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