Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2018 Ep 24

Episode Date: August 8, 2018

1. Jack Post sightings in the wild2. Speak it backwards 3. Speak it backwards Pt 24. Nike tracksuit update5. Sam Pang6. Bonds tracksuits7. Offer on a product8. Andy’s contest

A least-snuff production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and the Podcast starts in three, two... Sorry, still buffering. One! Namaste, namaste, namaste gentlemen. Ah! Good. Very good.

I probably doesn't have the energy. I always thought namaste was, is it not Indonesian? It's not Indonesian, is it? That's slumber. It's Hindi. Yeah. For hello. It's Hindi. Isn't it? Don't they say that at the end of yoga?

I always do it from yoga. I didn't know. Because it's in the classic joke, Nama leave. I go to the end. I don't know, is my right? I thought Nama's say, maybe it's just one of those chow. Like you can use it both four and against. It's like pre-makes four four four leaving or against leaving, which is arriving. It probably just is the equivalent of Super Duper.

Sometimes Super Duiver will walk... I'm not sure if it is. When you walk into a room, it's appropriate to say Super Diver. When you leave, it's also appropriate to say Super Diver. And we'll finish with a downward dog. Super Diver. Super Diver. And a yoga would actually be...

It'd fit. Ozzy Yoga. Ozzy Yoga. It's a niche that no one's doing and we give our idea to you for free. Do Aussie poses, the lost contact or the double plug or blow out if it's like a long stretch and then you end with a super duper, a super duper, Elfie go.

Anyway, there you go, one free idea already. If you choose to listen on there, maybe another. Can I start today's show with an apology to a to a listener, someone that's hit us up on the contact form, homestiny.com. It takes time sometimes to read the emails. We love every piece of correspondence we come across. Sometimes we just do a lucky dip.

Sometimes we just go scrolling through the inbox and I'll come across the whole paddock of blue dots, the unreads. And I'll just start dipping in. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, Actually, here's a better analogy. Look, we have stressed. Quit a stress thing. No, it's foul-moved me. You won't let me do a better analogy in our The Stinker Stamps.

Someone in the team will read your email. Of course, of course. We get them split-hame. And there's thousands that come in. I'm looking at my MacBook now. My wonderful, reliable MacBook Pro? Yep. I thought Jack had raised an eyebrow at that.

He's no other one that's scamming for free stuff. 44,300 unread emails. 44,000. It goes back in time to back in the radio show days. I've been very, very much better this year reading them. Yes. But there are some in there that aren't read. I've got 4,376 on read at the moment. Bulley for you. There was a period where I couldn't access them

a two-year period. And some banked up during that time. This year I would say I've only got an area of 1,000 that I haven't read, because I do enjoy going back through the patches of blue and just digging up the same way I can find it. So this is, this is from, there are only reason I mentioned what date we got this email was because the person who's about to hear it, Sam, will go, hang on, say I wasn't, and then ages ago.

And so apologies that it has taken me time to find you in my blue patch, but I'm glad I found you, Sam, because it might start what I hope to you in my blue patch, but I'm glad I found you, Sam, because it might start what I hope to be in tradition. In the same way that we out of nowhere have amassed a series of power moves over the year on this show, we've got more today. I would like Jack Post-Sidings in the Wild to become a tradition.

If you see him, you don't have to approach him. No, document it. Document it, please. Tell us what he's doing. See, observe him in his habitat. Don't spook him, because if he knows he's being observed, he'll change his behaviour, the highs and burger effect. But if you go to feed him, open hand, he will take free food. We see it

in here all the time. He likes a half a cupcake, loves oven. We'll give that hour's in-each of Versuschi. We know his exchange, SIGS for Sush. So if you see him, just casually document him. See what he's up to. So Sam's seen him. Get A-boys. On Sunday went it to my favorite restaurants. Mammacks, you know Mammacks Jack? I have been to Mammack. We don't need you to tell us that. We got the Sam for that kind of info.

As I walked in the door, I saw a knife and cackling Jack post approaching the counter to pay. I'm sure he's least favorite part of the restaurant. Don't experience. You do enjoy keeping all of your money and giving them to people even if they are listeners or have given you something in return. At first I thought I'd approach him to get myself a handy $2 but I was intimidated by his cashless stance because Jack often says don't guys don't approach me. I got nothing on me. He's like a store that leaves a cash register open at night

going, we hold no cash. Yeah. So he said, I didn't, and I left my payway of machine in my other pants, and I didn't have my details on me. But he didn't stop observing Jack. Great. Because Jack offered me.

So he followed me. That's what it's like. Well, now he was observing you at the county. He couldn't take his eyes off you, but the sense of things, which is, I haven't done a lot of bird watching, but I imagine when you see a bird of paradise or something, even if it was lunchtime. Yeah, you would go look away.

We'll eat later, because we've got a good one here. As I sat down, I saw he was having trouble paying, with the counter stuff pointing to a paper sign next to the machine. As I went to leave, I looked at what the sign said. The sign said $30 F-Post Minimum. I'd like to know how cashless Jag gets around this little dilemma that must surely happen regularly. Does he just get you both to pay for him or does he have to order more to meet the minimum? What was the rest of him again? Mamax. Mamax. What happened? What happened at Mamax? Usually, and I have run into the $30 minimum or $20 minimum,

which I believe is made up, and I think the machine still works for lower amounts, like question any business that's doing that. Did you question Memax at the time? Usually they'll just add a 50 cent surcharge, which I'll pay because I have no other choice. On this, carry money. Carry some money.

I actually remember this occasion. I was with your friend, Carrie Manny. Carrie's a money- You do have choices. I actually remember this occasion. Yeah. I was with your friend, Dunk, Andy. Oh, right. And his girlfriend and my wife and friends, we were all out to dinner, and I was saying, can we split the bill? And he was pointing to the sign and said, no, split bills.

No, split bills. Right. And I actually said, because I said to him, I've split a bill here before. Oh, and he said, no, that's not possible. We don't, I said, well, I've done it before. You are. The reason people get out of the restaurant game.

LAUGHTER You're a nightmare customer. You're a nightmare customer. You won't buy enough. You don't bring cash. You argue with the signs. Respect the signs, Jack. You're basically in someone's house.

You're at Mammack's house. And he's told you the house rules. He said, don't take your shoes off. And Jack, I'm sure I have worn gun boots in here before. I have worn gun boots in here before. Hey, and we love special skills on this show. We love all podcasters, but those that go to the VIP form valued and

involved. It's important. It's everything. That's a great bit about it. Very involved podcasters probably what it should be. Yes. But valued and important podcasters. Vavacious and intelligent producers would not have been jacked back in the radio day. They feel that a form of fake, or the interested producers might have been jacked. I feel that a form of being more involved, which includes special skills. We tend to like calling people on these and testing them. Today, it's Robert, Robert, welcome, Hoi.

Hoi boys. Hoi, Robert, and Rob, Andy, just your form came to Andy's side of the email fence. They do, right. With 50, 50. So I'm a little fresher to finding out what your skill is. I only found out about an hour ago. Yes.

As I'm not exactly sure of the daughter who built the form in for me. Yes, my dad would have done a similar thing. Robert, besides my dad, we think that you're our oldest podcast drawn record, which is six on. I'm emotional. So we're wrapped to have you at 69 years of age. Yeah, you stand up by the way.

You stand very strongly. No, I'm very strongly. I thought I would have put you at 48. I look at. And the bone to your look. Robert, this is what stuck out to me. Able to fluently speak backwards in any situation at any time. Look, I really don't know because it's never been testers.

This is what this shows for. And I've never heard myself speak. I've never had it recorded and played that to me, so I just don't know. Well, can I just ask a question here, Robert, when I heard this skill, I said to Andy, what is he doing? Is he just hearing like, you know, the quick brown frocks, John Dothalazi dog, is Robert going, go, ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro-ro? Like, are you doing that? Or are you saying the words like, dog, lazy, va, you know, etc, etc. All the way back? No, no, I say the whole word backwards, but I say it phonetically, so as in quick, you couldn't

say, you know, C-A-U-K-U-I-C-K, by the letter, I'd say just kick. Oh, well, so you're making the sound. I try to make the sound, I say it all backwards, and I can spell it backwards, the sentence for you if you want to be. This is even better than I'd hoped for him. This is better. This is actually real, expand stuff. I thought you were just reversing your sentence, but still saying words forward. Now I'll say the whole thing back with you.

Great! Robert, let's jump into it. Radio. Speak it back. Words. Have a crack. Good. Speak it back.

Words. Speak it back, Robbie. Backwards. Did anyone call you? Miss the last one. It's a quick amount. Does anyone call you Robby? Yes, my daughter's doing. Great, so yeah, borrow that. You can if you like, or Rob is better.

Okay, Rob, this is exciting. So, can we say a sentence to you? Yeah. And then you'll be able to put it back. How many words? How big can the sentence be? I look, I've got no idea, but I'd probably say something up to 10 could be start with something a bit easier first. Okay, what about we love a softball to

kick it off? What about it? We just said, speak it back. Captain Kitt. Oh, that's good. I think it's a B-T-A-A-E-T-S. Oh, this is very excellent. That's really good. We're just realising here. I'll tell you what I'll be... But you're going to want to sound like forward.

Well, thought is close to you with your Rob. What's dawning on us here is we are recording this, obviously. But we're going to take a break. I reckon we'll do this. Take a break. It's podcast as we hear no break. We're going to keep you on the line, come back, and play these back so you will get Marshae or you guys

to spin them around. And we'll see what they sound like. And we'll see what they sound like. So the moment it sounds like you're killing it. We just don't know what we're doing. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I could have a go. We'd always be like, oh, sounds like, but but but but.

Okay, Rob, here we go. All right. A duck and a coot are pretty much the same thing. You've made so much on YouTube, right? Coot next to that caddak. Oh my gosh. a pretty much the same thing. You're still incredible because it's just sound and good. I don't think I've got any inflections. Sometimes I try to get an upward inflection on a word, but again, the fruit cannot. What did you learn to do? I mean, I'm going to save us falling off our chairs in the moment when we come back and we reverse these.

So did you? The truth will out. OK, OK, OK. Let's, OK, what about this? You can be a one knee-none, but aim to be a two-foot Tony. Now, we'll repeat that here again, Robert. It's a surfing to slang. It's sort of surfing slang.

So it's not a normal, I know it's not a pretty normal thing you say, as you're down getting barreled all the time. But you can be a one knee-none, but aim to be a two-foot Tony. You know tough woost, you've woost me a club. You know you know a yib-nack-woo-ya. Okay, here's what's gonna happen rough. We're gonna put you on hold. Hopefully we won't be too many You know you know your neck will you? Okay, here's what's gonna happen Rob, we're gonna put you on hold. Hopefully we won't be too many minutes, we're gonna get marshy to reverse all that audio. I'm having a scotch anyway.

Have a scotch enjoy yourself. Should I say instead of have a scotch have a all right, we'll leave it to Robert. Thanks for all the time. The second. How to go. Okay, how to go. We're back, Robert, are you there? We'll leave it to Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert.

Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert.

Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert.

Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert.

Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Thanks Robert. Yeah. Are you just talking backwards? It was just so slurred that we missed taking it for backwards talk. Interesting point, I should have kept going and see what's all that happened. We're all, it's gone through the lab, the sound lab here. How much time haven't heard them?

If we think, well, how do we put it in place? I think what we're gonna do here, Rob, is play back, first Andy will go, this is what we wanted you to say, then we'll play back the bit of you saying it backwards, Then we'll play back the bit that Marci's produced, which is reversing the backwards talk, which hopefully gives us forwards talk. If we deem that to be legible English,

yeah. Right. Passable English, I think we'll give you a pass. Two out of three passes, we'll earn you an H and a coin. Wow. You may keep for yourself or distribute to your daughter. Inflation, she'll probably take it.

Okay. The first thing we asked you to say was, speak it back. You said this, Robert? Can't you kick? And that sounds reversed. That sounds like this. Yeah, you can kick it. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a pass. Yeah. That's speaking back. Yeah, that is speaking back. I mean that's speaking past. Yeah, that is speaking past. I mean that is... It sounds as good as I thought it might. Well, you just got to know it's very hard. It is hard.

I mean, you do know it's very hard, but you know. Well, that's the first time I've heard it. Really? Okay. Well, we know the skill remains a skill. You are doing it backwards fanatically. I don't know if it's because, you know, this year I feel like I've watched more X-Men based films than a normal year, but I just do feel like we're running an X-Man Academy.

And we've just got people here with powers that are untested. Yes. You've never tried to burn down a building with your thoughts before, but you're having to go. The wife can do that. Oh, here you may, oh, here you are. I'll bowl and you, man. Right, OK, Rob. Five years and hanging in there. Oh, I'm all injured, man. Right, OK, Rob.

Five years in hanging in. Rob, for 45, for me. 45, thank you. We asked you to say, a duck and a- and to you. A duck and a- a pretty much the same thing. You said this. You say, so, Chenyutia bra, kudnetta-kada. Reverse, that sounds like this.

A Dakhna, and Vishwara, Vivni Nashvara, Siam Singh. Oh, that's amazing. That's really good. That sounds like the old version of Mac Translate on like 15 years ago when it was two tries of computer speaking. Well, I would say he's got it.

We've got one more coin, but one more for him. That one more for him. We said to you you can be a one knee no knee but aimed to be a two foot tonic you said this. You know tough woost, you've worked me a pub. You know you know you give neck woo. And reversed, that sounds like this. Luke and me, I'm near, near, near, near. Last game, through me, through foot, but I'm near you. No, that's a bad thing. Oh my god, that's a deadly image.

I have no idea what I said, but it sounded good. I feel like we have to audition to music. That was great. Yeah, I'm free. I just can't put you in my throat. Thanks, I'll go with you. I think you're being a bit generous on that. Well, I was my favorite.

Our rule was if you can discern it as English, imagine absolutely left over the bar. Rob, have you chatted to anyone else with this super power? Do you talk to... There is a community. Is there a community out there of backwards speakers? There are... I've got no no idea i've never met anybody else who's at stupe but i don't think that

prepared to be in undated rub it will send out the uh... the coin congratulations and uh... hall of fame hall of fame your hall of fame in our professional that's fantastic things are appreciated it's been great you see six uh... six people turn up on your front lawn with automatic weapons don't get alarmed That's nearly the security detail. I shouldn't have said where I live. I haven't had a choice, mate. Bye. Okay. Thanks, guys. Bye. I'm in an amazing skill for Robert just then, but I just occurred to me that we are back in our Pymetrax.

This week. Have a mighty form. And I thought we had a gentleman's agreement before the show to not talk about the Traxit situation. I have a solid, solid deal with sports brand Nike. Yep. That next week, our Trarack suits will be here on new tracksuits.

Can you give us any, like, are they actually getting here tomorrow? That's the real deal. That's the real deal. The correspondents from them, just like, I could write to you right now promising they'll be here. And that's a huge promise.

Do you know the colors? I don't know the colors. Okay. But I know they're tri-colored. There'll be three different colors. Same model I've asked for, so there can be no winners and losers again this time. Because I, you know, those new to the podcast,

we suggest going for the start. Well, those new to the saga, I've picked the wrong, obviously picked the wrong team as soon as I'm disappointed to be back in today. I had spoken, Austin's about Austin who originally asked us about Puma. He's got to be happy.

He got months out of it. He said, did Hamish actually pick that one. Like he was in shock that you had. I think I think from, if I remember correctly, he was surprised at Puma for sending it. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He was. He's seen as a huge opportunity for them to get their label out there. So I would just send money to him. Yeah. Yeah. I had talked to bonds today about a stopgap track suit. They, as I believe it, are on their way to the studio now, but they might have missed the cap.

Okay. And the lies continue. Let's play on. Let's play on. Okay. Hey, I'm exciting for us and the podcast Sam Pang joins us. Welcome to the Potter CM. It is wonderful to be here.

And may I acknowledge that this is the first time I've ever done anything with you to on the radio or podcast or anything first time ever. We're in your show. No, no, I've never been on your show. Oh, right. Sorry, you first of you, Benny, guess on our show. It's a big thrill. Sam, we came on your show like months ago and your breakfast your show. No, no, no, I've never been on your show. Oh, right, I guess so. You first time you've been in your guest on our show. It's a big thrill. We came on your show like months ago and your breakfast radio show.

Was I there that day? I might have been there. I said to remember you being there. We talked about you acting on our TV show. I thought you were going to lie, Ben. What? I thought you were about to go. This is the first time I've ever done an extra podcast.

Like an extra, like to try and make our podcast. I heard you were Joe Rogan episode. You were really good. You and Joe talking about bow hunting and subs. Yeah, it was, I love MMA, you know. Yeah, no, and you could tell you were blowing him away with your knowledge. Well, I mean, a lot of amazing work on the,

on the telly, of course, but no more amazing than this Tuesday night coming up, coming up for your your own true story. If people are back by popular, they're downloading this and listening to it very, very hot, and straight off the podcast production line as we recommend. It's best served. I'm sure that's how they do it. They're days away. Meere days away from seeing S-Pang just rip it apart. Who would have thought that after my appearance in season one? Yes. A lot of times I catched you it.

I acted her off the screen. Yeah. Down her business card says has appeared along the same page. I always tell her and then I played in season one, I thought I was a Singapore businessman. Mm-hmm. And then someone else in the sense, and no, you weren't a singer, you were the lawyer

for the company whose office is wearing, yeah, you're like Australia. Yeah, as an actor, we didn't, typecast you, because of your ethnic background. As an actor, you're the first time ever. It's amazing. I believe I got the job. So Sam, talk us through it because,

my process, your process heading into, how many lines did you have again? In this upcoming, yeah, oh, you're a baggage handler. we did type cuss you for because we know you have hands I almost overqualified I do remember giving myself a back story and giving my character the name of Sid yes because I was reading the script and I was seeing all these things and then Dave Lawson who's also in the scene with me said few more what do you mean Sid what he called Sid and I was seeing all these things and then Dave Lawson, who's also in the scene with me said, few more minutes.

What do you mean, Sid? What do you call Sid? And I said, you know, I just seem to remember grabbing it from somewhere, haven't then, by the way, he just said, I think you've just seen a bag that said, Sid on it for Sidney. Yeah, I mean, that together. You just done that. Like, maybe. It's possible.

Like at the airport, people often call the, like the, the, the, the, the, often call the like the honest people Mel Because it's on your name day. It gets for Mel but yeah The the yeah, not many lines anybody that's fine I would argue that it's almost that's harder. It's harder to do I mean, let me ask you this how many lines again did the volleyball having cursed away none and he's one of the most famous Volleyballs of all time I actually I you, once you see the episode everyone, I think that Wilson will come to mind a lot of the way in terms of how animated I get. But it was weird when we had to put a painted pamper

in on your face to give you a bit of expression. I didn't, I was, I was in a scene, there was Lawson in a scene who's a great actor. And a big hit isn't it? Big hit is a Katrina, a lot of which, yes, from when it was, and Edmunds, you know, mean so. But to be honest, Andy, I would, it's not it worked. And it meant, you know, man, so. But to be honest, Andy,

I was not like I was going up against, you know, Judy Dench and Maggie Smith. It was like I was pretty comfortable looking at that. Those two women, great actresses. But let's be honest, probably have a good work. And I mean, probably have a good job. You were, you know, you were, were you the agitating engraving in the scene?

It wasn't you reacting. It was then in a situation, and people see this on Tuesday night, and you come in the scene. It wasn't you reacting. It was them in a situation. And people see this one, she's like, no, you come in and you really, you cause them, they're on the back foot. And so it was all kind of the same as dependent. And how much power you can bring to that moment and geez, it was nuclear jack, what are you saying?

I'm not very good at self-analysis. It's how I ask you to, who are they on the day? Oh no, I'm analyzing. I think the thing was you you have two scenes. One has a line, one doesn't. I love both the scenes. But I think you was like watching a history of film, wasn't it, from the Salary, to the talking. That's the right you, but when you're watching this show and take particular attention to my character and basically it's the narrative arc It's the journey of cinema. Oh

Brine-eyed baggage hammer by the end he's a broken crumpled confused. I mean who forces us to think about what is The point but I I was a point. It's an excess like a pretty existential ending to your scene. That's how it felt. I get a laugh from the scene where you have no lines. And that's harder to do. Of course. And then that's not a laugh at.

That's a laugh with. Really? Yeah, yeah. I've got a year in for one of those. Now, and I mean, a dream of a laugh with love to have one one day. Hey, you and I were on set to help Pangie through that particular scene. Go to hamishanye.com now. We've got some vision of behind the scenes.

I really, Sam Pang, the preparation that went into Tuesday night's episode. Pangie, we thank you so much for being part of it. As we do for all the wonderful guests we had on the series, people are very generous at their time to come and be part of it. It's great to be back. But with a reduced role, you're like considering the first role was not big. It's sort of like on SNL, we've got our regular guys back. Chris Rock this season, not going to give him much.

Some people do Chris Rock and they're like, we're in a break out into films, they're going to be the star of the show, but you're like one of the other guys who are like, all right, well, you can do, if we ever do another scene at George Bush's Ranch, you were a pretty funny butler for George Bush. So if we ever bring the butler back, you can be that guy. Season three will only even be allowed on set,

just like behind this, I'll do the behind the scene stuff with the camera. Keep an eye out for their bangs, ear, season three. Hey, can I run this past you guys? I was thinking about this today, Sam, would you like to participate in what could become a regular segment on the podcast? Working title, name game,

but I'm gonna come up with something better than that. It came to me the other week. I had to write something, and I needed the name of a furniture superstar, but because the thing I was writing sort of started turning a bit derogatory, I had to pick a name I thought might not appear in real life.

So I'm trying to come up with them. It's like furniture barn, furniture warehouse. I was like, you're gonna make it made up when you can't go. I made up, so that's the famous Fossil furniture fella. You can't go with that one. You can't do that. So everything I made up, I googled, because I was like, I wanna just call it furniture barn.

I'm like, no, no, that exists. So furniture warehouse, okay. I was like, I'm saying all the same. I can weld a furniture, you furniture, there's one in Brisbane. Every time I thought I'd nailed a cheesy generic sounding mass outlet, it existed. So actually, this is harder to do than it seems. So what I'm going to give you guys is a category of product.

You've got to come up with the best superstar or mass outlet type name for that category But it can't exist so you have to pick one that's sort of shitty enough that it doesn't exist yet Yeah, but it's got to be good enough that Peter who we've got Hang on one who have just got one of our producers to get up peak and hear these right let's maybe we say hi to Pete now Peter hoi how are hoi fellow to I very Pete. Welcome to the first edition of the name game. So it took a little while to get going, but we are playing. Yeah. Yeah, well, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, you know, what's good? Now, what Pete doesn't always do either. What's Pete's role? Guys, I'm playing all this together as we... Pete's doing an impression of me on this week's episode of True Story. Pete, here's your role. Once Andy, you pick a name that you're happy with and Sam, you pick a name you're happy with, the news that doesn't exist.

Pete has to tell us which place he would prefer to shop at. Oh, yeah, okay, good, good. So say you go for, you know, furniture jumble and hang you go for just like furniture, furniture, furniture. Then Pete, if they're both legal, Pete has to go, I think I'd prefer to shop at furniture for this. Are you gonna find out if there's a thing? I'm good, I think.

I think it's real time as you guys come up with your attempts. And you just use one of my tricks in the example there. I thought I was just doing the three, whatever category, so mangoes, mangoes. I thought three in a row would always be a good way. Well, the chose how much you love mangoes. You can't do that. I'm going to give you one other loophole.

You can't add a Christian name. So you can't just be a lot of emo. That's what I was thinking. And you can think of that. You can't just add Giuseppe's furniture. Yeah. Or you can't just add just like Don Julio's, Mango's. And you might be doing some heavy lifting, man. All right.

I'm hand cuffed now. On of the game. OK. On of the game. On of the game. On of the game. Playing the world of Bans and what a... I think that's the first one. What's the first one?

Kitchens. Kitchens. Kitchens. All right. About Sam U first. Oh. All right. Just because I saw how excited you got when you thought Andy was going to be.

I wasn't that bad because I'm not good at it. I'll be the go first hand. All right, what do you got? 100% Kitchens. 100% that's good. That's good. That's good. That's really good.

I'm shopping there, by the way, because they're not diluted. It's just, this is the moment of truth. 100% kitchens. Is it, does it exist? He's got it. It's legal. It's legal.

Andy is in play. I'll tell you what came up. I'll tell you what came up. Gyser Bastion sees the stone kitchen renovation. Because it's the keywords firing off at 100%. Guy Sebastian's, he's done something freedom of kitchen here, and he's quite is, they got it at 100%. All right, 100% kitchen is in play.

What's your kitchen warehouse, Superstore name? I'm gonna go with... Kitchen's RR. Oh, I reckon that'll be dangerous. You're right. Oh, I reckon that we take a dangerous... You're right. Oh, really? It's dangerous. ...every hour.

Kitchens are us has several locations around Australia. Kitchens are us. As the name suggests, we know and understand kitchens. We know that kitchens can be the hub of a home and we want to help you build or renovate. So can I defend myself? Yeah. And he's got one right that doesn't exist.

Yeah. All right. I've got one. But I've got one that is obviously a successful and proven business. But you've got to think of the new, the next one. But you can't bet everyone knows if you're talking kitchen's kitchen's arousal the place to go, you can't. I'm not going to top these things. There's a floor in the game home.

You're always down at 14 technology drive. Warana in Queens. I've bought a place across the road. I love it. All right, what about this one? Tell Peter that he does. We've got to border place across the road. I love it. All right, what about this? Tell Peter that he does. Yeah, yeah. We've got to keep engaging him.

Do we let Sam, and since we're making it this game, as we go along, is it fair that Sam loses a life and he gets to have another go at Kitchens? No, he's lost. But that doesn't even work. Peter, you ain't got one place to shop,

and it's 100% Kitchens. Peter, I mean, would you shop at a place and go 100% Kitchens? I fall above for Kitchens, you get one off. Yeah, that's a good point. Right there. That's a good point.

That's a good point. You're going there, wouldn't you? I feel like there's just some copyright issues or something, I don't know. I'm going to put him off. All right, do we go one more category? Absolutely. One more.

Come on. Telecommunications. So phones, anything in the telecommunications category. And one hundred percent telecommunications so phones anything in the telecommunications category. 100% telecommunication. I bet you're not a bitch, it's not there. Okay, I'm going with home of phones. Jack, can you Google Home of Phones? Please, I'm doing 100%.

You're good at this. That's not. I'm just bad at it. That's fine. It's fine. I've got some good news. Sam, 100% telecommunications is a legal name. You're in play.

I'm coming for you, Pete. Get ready, mate. Is it what you're about yours? Home of phones, Jack. I can't find a store called Home of Phones. It's legal. It's legal. Okay, Peter.

Peter, you've got a decision to make. You're in the market for not, for anything in the telecommunications category Where would you go shopping if you were to go to local Westfield? Do you duck into home of phones or do you go and see the friendly guys over at 100% telecommunications? I know it's copy Andy but I actually like Sanstice Well, we know what kind of business is Peter lives and I hope that doesn't ski things for the time breaking I might go first

The category is vegetables He has got in early with 100% vegetables No, I'm gonna I'm gonna not play that I'm gonna try and play outside the 100% vegetables I'm gonna try try different go for it. What do you got? Um, veg out. Veg out. And fortunately Andy, that is a real well-worn,

it's a reds of vegetarian restaurant, it's a garden, it's a farmer's market. Andy has, what are you gonna submit then? Gone for two. Take the wing. So gone for to take the wing so this will just take the when if this doesn't exist yes I won't there's another floor I like no I like we've I'm glad you've noticed that because if you also go when you cannot miss from you it's a penalty shot with no keeper what do you got to call it tag you want vegetables you know don't you come on I mean now it's all about the art. I mean, it really shouldn't lose from here,

because you just have to invent a name for a vegetable store. I'm actually under the part now, I don't know. Even if it was just, you know, carrot carrot broccoli me that carrot, it would still win. What are you gonna do? Yeah, I've shopped there, home don't go. I was a trick, there is one.

Yeah. I'm gonna go with vegetables. Smegdables. I must, I must check. Vegetables, vegetables. Sounds like a place that doesn't sell vegetables. That's true. That's an all made by Jean.

Actually sounds like a butcher. Well, I mean, how many smells you and X. He sounds like a butcher. Well, I mean, how do you smell shmets tables? He's got it, yeah. I know. Well, no, he hasn't got it. Pete, this is actually, if you say no here, Pete. How's this? Do I? Do I? I just choose, always, Andy out.

Well, Andy's on out, but Pete, the only question that remains, only hurdle for San Peng to jump to win the first ever game of the name game is Pete. Would you shop at vegetable smatchables? Well I would have ride at 100% vegetables but I'll go with vegetable smatchable. Hey mate! I'll go with it mate! Also at vegetable smatchables Pete they got great telecommunications as well mate.

Everybody everything was good. Basically just a $2 shop. I mean we really found out actually the big learning from today is what kind of customer PD is. He's a guy that likes 100% assurance that the product he's after is at the shop. What about you just straight away just thinking that putting a Christian name is you took that away from a straight away? Immediately.

Yeah, it's done who he goes house of vegetables. Peggy, thanks for coming in. Well, thanks Good luck. Obviously, have you been paying attention on, you got your breakfast show as well. Back to true stories. True stories of mine. 20 channel nine and Pete, thanks very much, mate. But mate, 100% true story. It's like, 100% channel nine, 100% entertainment,

100% on television. That's where you'll get it. Cheers, buddy. Thanks, Pete. No worries, boys, bye. 100% on television, that's where you'll get it. Cheers buddy, thanks Pete. No worries, bye, bye. I wanted to drop this, but earlier in the podcast we talked about the ongoing tracks, it's confirmed next week will be Nike. I had contacted our allies at Bonds, you mentioned that.

Yeah. I was under the impression the stopgap tracks is just hadn't made it in time. That's why we're back in these, the Puma ones. Back in my parachute suit of shame. Yep. Minus, everyone keeps going, oh, where's your clipboard?

Where's your whistle? Yes, I'm aware I look like a gym teacher from the 90s. Yes. The bonds gear has got here. LAUGHTER Look, it might be too late. Do we bring this show home in them? Look, I've got them here. They just were a bit late. Now, I've got a deal with not like the, I promise Nike. So we're in the Nike next week. I don't think we can delay Nike anymore. I've been talking about October from month. Andy, you can be green.

Yep. It's pretty very simple stuff, very very good quality stuff. It's just very plain. So you've got a green. Oh mate. Green looks just trache pants in a hoodie. It's very good. You'll use these.

You'll take these on. You'll be wrapped. We're not using them as trach suits anymore. Yeah. Jack, I'm giving you the pink because I actually already own this suit privately at home. So it looks like a mask. Yep. And I'm just in the light blue.

Okay. I just get pants where I get a top off. Yeah, yes, she's Mr. The Volkes here. Yes, let me open up the bags. They didn't have a mega bag. They came in three small bags. So it's a little bit collocator. So we're getting involved.

We're in the mail. It'll be 10 minutes of power. If any of this studio footage makes it to our social media channel, or whatever, this will be a real blink and you miss it, collectors edition for Hey Mission Andy. We'll only really be in our suits. We'll do some pre-recorded now.

We've already prepared. Yeah, and so for us, it really will just be, you wanted to do something at the end of the podcast? Yeah, got one other thing. That'll be it. Because for the bonds, tracksuit, so then we can take them home. We can enjoy them at home. And I think we will have fulfilled our commitment to bonds that they sort of made it on the show. They didn't make a lot of runs when they went out to play for a striker, but they at least had a green. You at least get a certificate signed by the Prime Minister that says, sorry, I couldn't see the match, but I heard Maggie Green. You at least get the certificate signed by the Prime Minister

that says, sorry, I couldn't see the match, but I heard you played. I heard you turned up. Okay, we're in the track suits. How you guys feeling? My right pocket's got a fault. Yeah, you've already tried this all you may. You can put your hand in my pocket,

see if you can get your full hand in there I won't take me to dinner I don't can't be trying to play it up I'm not putting my hand in your pocket I don't want you but that what you actually said mate put your hand in my pocket see if you can get it all you actually see if you get it all the way in oh yeah well the teeth I she's I'm aware of your tricks man you forget I visited not just in New York Lear but your London land I've seen the tricks a stray yeah thread a stitch that is stitched to my pocket half cloth you can get it yeah down a bit lower now having we're all in our more in our tracks it's yeah it's good bonds probably was hoping they get more airtime yeah out of them I'm happy but I've it's occurred to me

this is the first time I'm glad we'll be in the Nike next week. Only because this is the first time we've been in non-sports track suits. It feels like we're having a sleepover. These are hanging out around the house track suits. Have you filled Jack? You'd be wrapped, you've got a free track suit out of this.

Yeah, I mean, a pink or salmon isn't really my usual color. Oh, you're so punk. Yeah. Like, real men wear mask, mate. I'm that exact track suit. I'm never saying you in it. That's a civilian.

I don't wear track suits to work, man. I'm professional. What are you doing every day? LAUGHTER Anyway, anyway, under more important things. Yeah, this is a special announcement that needs to be addressed. Sometimes in the radio world, friends will call friends and instigate a conversation

based around a great offer on a product. The ensuing phone call becomes a terrific basis for an ad. The traditionally accepted way for these phone calls to proceed is for one friend to have the offer and the other to be excited and ask questions that lead to more positive information about the offer. However, sometimes there is a mix-up and both parties have a deal with the company and both parties will attempt to inform the other about a great deal of service. The result is a debacle. Hey man, what are you doing this weekend?

I'm headed to Couchwell's Ender Season clearance of course. Well, don't do that because I booked a 10-day bus tour of the South Island of New Zealand, including flights with super duper tours. I know what you're thinking, expensive, right? No, I was thinking I can't wait to see what kind of deals I can get on a three-piece lounge suite. You'd expect to pay $3,000, right?

I don't really care about that because we won't be needing a lounge because we'll be on a super duper tour bus and I know you. I bet you wanted to do a few things that aren't on the tour schedule. Not really. I'm happy to stick to a tour schedule if I'm on a tour but I won't go to tour because we're going to catch world. Well, we can actually get three days of extras included on the tour when we choose our itinerary. Now that's all for $2,350 per person, twin share. I'm not going and that actually sounds quite pricey. Are you kidding? That's dirt f***ing cheap. Make no-one-life couch world anyway. It's poorly constructed junk.

Another heartbreaking example of two parties trying to sell to each other. No one winning and friendships getting ruined. I've had three friends get food poisoning on super duper tours. Oh, that is just not true. For the love of God, please, please limit your great offers per phone call to one. This Sunday is double phone offer friendship protection day. By simply being upfront on these phone calls and using the code word woodpecker, you can both avert a friendship altering commercial conflict of interest.

Hey man, how's it going? Woodpecker? Oh, woodpecker for me too. Okay, have a nice day. And to you my friend and good luck talking to the others. Because no friendship is worth more than a great deal on a holiday. Actually, they have a closer look at this. Super duper-tourist one though. Look at this.

Oh yeah, you get a free bunch you jump in skydive. Wow, that actually is good. Yeah, I'd lead a friend for that. Yeah, it's a good deal. Hey, you and I have had a lot of contests over the years. Certainly, yeah. Between each other. Hey, we should make 74, Andy Lee, 61.

LAUGHTER I'll slowly come back. And the rest are 100. over the years. Certainly out. Between each other. I'm just like 74, Andy Lee, 61. That was fully come back. And the race was 100. And the race was 100. And he started saying that. And I was like, oh, maybe you should just see what he puts for you. Yeah, the thought was going to be lower than 61. That's good.

I've made it exciting, but I think 13 point buffer. Yeah. At the current rate, I'll certainly make it to 100. Yep. With a few to spare. There are ones that have cut deep. The ones I thought I was going to lose. There's ones that have cut deep. The ones I thought I was going to lose, there's ones that have cut deep

that I really wanted to win. What'd you want to win? That's what I want to bring up. Yeah, really. There was one back in 2007. Yep. 2007, it could've been 2008, where I'd just been post-op

on my downstairs region. Yep. And thought that with the clearing of the pipes... We'd been in a lot of pain, you had surgery done your urethra. Yep. Which is the weep up. For the other, no.

And the weep up, it's the weep hole. No, weep up. The whole part. The whole part had been done. And they had a part back to me. And you thought... I thought there was going to give me superior flow. Wow, it works.

To you. To take people back, we were there at this place that measures a flow itself. I went to a urologist. Yes, there's a machine you get on. Just a guy at the back of a bus stop going, piss on my arm. I'll tell you how fast I think you're doing it. I'm sure that exists, but that's Mark's nodding. Do you?

Tell us the bus stop later. But I'll take you back to 2008. I think we've got the audio. The audio 2008. Right. We've, Hamish has just finished up. We're about to get his reading. He's a reading. He's a reading.

Yeah. And I think Barrel was the nurse that was helping us out. He's really. He flowed at 50 miles a second. Why? I don't think the firefighting helicopter can deliver water fast to the map. So excited. Hamish had to tell Barrel.

Barrel! Good news, babe. Have a look at this. Oh. Very good. 30 mils a second. Well, I record breaking good. Yeah, I'd say so. I've not seen one that good. 30 mils a second. I record breaking good. Yeah, I'd say so.

I've not seen one that good. Yes! Yes! 50 mils per second. The gauntlet had been laid. Could Andy Lee, returning from injury, make a bigger splash? Come on, Lanky. Let's see your trickle.

For those concerned about the colour, a slightly lighter shade from Andy. We weren't concerned about the colour or the noise. What was the official reading? Had David beat Goliath? He comes to read out. Okay. How do you feel? Oh, it's 38 mils a second, you are nowhere near I'm smacking you! Look at your own pipes! That was unfair. Especially after breaking a world record. It's not good sportsmanship to then also heckle the guy who hasn't broken the world record. Come very short.

So what's the problem? So he's what, I'd like another contest in this area. And I don't think I'm gonna take you on flow pace, but I'd like to put to you. It was rate of flow, 15 lbs. Very, very good rate of flow. I'd like to put to you. And I should say there was a spike and it heated off after that.

Because goodness me, if I could maintain $150 a second and I couldn't turn it off I'd be dead in a minute. I was whisked out my whole body. I employed sucked out through myself. What am I, what animal life, what toy am I thinking of from the 80s, the popper, the animals that turned into soft into, I don't know. Those animals that turned into soccer balls and stuff, you can invert the whole body would end up

like inverting out through my, yes, I go inside out. And I'll end up in the jar, my wood of one, pure inventory. I put to you that I have a larger bladder, volume wise, I think that, pure, I don't really care about this subject. Rather than pace, I think volume wise, I'd like to try and get one biological win over you.

You'd like to do a bigger way than me, not a faster way. Do you want to come into the again, or do I maintain? Does he need common money? Conno my grega. Does he need the money? Does he need to be back out there refiding? Floyd Mayweather. Why would you do MMA?

Why would you fight UFC Floyd Mayweather? You've got nothing to prove. What's my purse? What's your purse? Your purse? I'll give you. Do you want this bad? I mean, I don't, anytime now anyone asks us,

who's got the most efficient if you penis I Have the stats to point to so I don't really need to go back in here and lose if you risk losing my penal efficiency Crown which is a crown made of you know little dits But it's done tastefully. I was more thinking that if you won, I will cancel out the Sophie Monk stew, whatever his name is, bet.

Not really, but it's not. Not an entirely paid at half. Oh, bet. Not really, please. You're back. Not in its entirety, paid at half. Oh yeah, yep. I just hadn't realized that. I still wanna argue that, but we'll talk about that, I'll say that. Yeah, yeah. Five hundred bucks in. Yeah, I. Yeah. Five out of a buck set.

Yeah, I do it. Here's my conditions. Good to do it. Conditions are, I'll, I want to do it. It's going to be a night out. Oh, okay. It's going to be a night out. So that's all right.

That's all right. Because I was thinking, I've shocked myself. We come to work. I was thinking we come to work one day and you have to submit before midday. No, I wanted to do it on the night out. Okay, okay. Because that's those are the moments where I've just gone cheaper as creepers.

So we're gonna take, look at the volume we've got here boy. So the way I see it, we take digital scales. Yep, yep, and a beaker, we measure each other. No, we don't have a beaker, we just take digital scales. So we get on the bucket? No, we get on the scales. Before hand.

Yeah, no, no, no, you want to measure it to the mill Because otherwise you're just going to get a gram reading. Yeah, I want that and it can be can those compounds around a hundred grams You want to we want to take a beaker Sorry mate, okay, that's the spot. All right. We'll organize that in future week We're going to take a a flask like a scientific flask. I don't think we'll get more than a liter We're going to take a flash, like a scientific flash. I don't think we'll get more than a later. So, but just in case, take a two-leater one, because you don't want it to be 1.1 liters,

so that's a little bit of spillage. Let's do that. That's the smart thing to do, it's the grown-up thing to do. And I wish you luck. Look, I hope you're at the end of this wearing the crown-made of little dicks that I'm going to get made for the P-Mail efficiency crown.

See you next week, everyone.