Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2018 Ep 28

Episode Date: September 5, 2018

1. Tell us someone we haven’t thought of in a while2. Grand Stan Phone Scam3. Rory the Ballad Man4. Rory the Ballad Man pt. 25. Airport elevator6. Celebrity messages for Andy7. This weekend we piss8. Cameo correction

A least-snap production. Activate your internet. Cos the Hamish and the Podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. Nehau, Nehau, Nehau, Nihau, everybody. Say no more. Say no more.

Say some more. They're gonna switch to English. But I thought after last week's hair break, I thought it was good to come out with a clean one that everyone would go, and also I felt rude that in a country there's so many people. Exactly. We hadn't given them a nod. I'm sure there's Chinese podcasts over there. Of course, of course.

So, how do you, and let the record show that, you know, as China takes control of the world over the next century, we're good guys. Yes, this podcast is small, please smile upon us with favor. Um, conversation between Hamish and I came up that thought made us think Ham, we should probably do this segment again About the comedian James O'Lachlan. You remember him?

Yeah, tell us someone we haven't thought of in a while Um, James O'Locklin, he was big. It's a staple. ABC's staple. Yeah, I'm sure he's on radio. Jackie, you made a funny face. What's that about? It's like I don't remember him.

Oh, right. If that's something happened to him. I mean, I'm sure he's still out there. I'm sure he's still doing... I think he's on ABC radio. He did quiz shows and kind of tonight shows. He would appear quite often on ABC TV. Um, Baldur Man. Glasses have been quite often on ABC TV. Bald a man.

Yeah. Blasters. I was always a big fan. He's bald. Bald a bald. I get here hosted a new and new inventor. That's it. Yeah.

He's still doing great. I'm sure. I just have an ear. He hasn't come across my radar this year. He's bald a bald a then a normal head man. He didn't say me. Bald a then Andy than a normal head man. Say me. Baller than Andy. And he knows it.

He's cut it very short. He's done the right thing. He's got glasses. And he's a very funny man. Smart guy. I better have him thought of him for a while. And until I thought of him recently to go, he's a good one for Teller Summer,

we haven't thought of him. Well, that's the rules. If you've not heard this game before, if you knew, if've just joined us since we started podcasting. You never heard the radio show. Has to be someone that we honestly haven't thought about this year. You have to nominate someone that we haven't thought of in a while.

And if you do so, traditionally, you win hats. Now, we haven't done the shout out for hats. Token of no value. Could we have taken a no value? I do notice both of you guys wearing hats today, would you give away your personal hats? Mine was a gift and I would never give away a gift. I think you should, Jack.

I think you should give away the hat. I got this spare hat. Got an unidonna hat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that your soul? Or was that sitting in here? No, unidonna, the comedian guys gave it to me, but it's so tight.

Look at how simple we're headed at. We're on the very last rungs, I'd happily give it away. It's more headed hat. Jack, you are gonna nominate your hat, I think. That's the right thing to do. Well let's go, Andy's, Andy don't know hat, Andy's hat he's wearing, and then if three people win, I'll give away my hat.

Well, people get the choice. Well, Andy, your friend gave this to me. Oh, what's he doing again? Oh yeah, Eddie. Yeah, yeah. All right, anyway, let's gave this to me. Oh, what's he name again? Oh, yeah, Eddie. Yeah, yeah. All right, anyway, let's just see how they go. What is the prize that this is just devolved into Jack, saying Andy has to give away two hats

and he's giving away one. Oh, I'm happy to put both of mine up. You're a good boy. OK, because you love our listeners. I do. Brad joins us. A Hoi Brad. Oh, yeah, they're gentle.

A Hoi Brad. Tell us some of them we haven't thought of for a while right you guys ran the same magic means he surely remembered this chick uh Teresa Livingstone she was on uh agoris carnivore connection Teresa Livingstone who was the main girl on agoris cartoon connection amber e m re and amber e and you had Holly Bruce Lee as well. Remember Holly Bruce Lee, if you'd gone with Holly Bruce Lee, you'd probably do whatever half. But to read the movie, the goalie walking over to the guy that took the penalty going, cheesy, if you've gone right, I would have never gone there. But I'm not sure if I remember it.

Teresa Livingstone. I've not heard of her, Bradbury. And Mary was from 89 to 95. I'm the 95 one, which had Teresa. Okay. I've looked her up. She doesn't because the other thing that the hard thing here Brad from LAYA is it has to ring a bell for us too. Okay. Okay. You're a fascinating mix of very, very well armed with the facts. Slightly aggressive in making your point, but also very, very happy to accept new rulings.

Brad, thank you. Thank you, Brad. But unfortunately not, hatless. Hatless Jack you. Breeds the sigh of relief. Yeah. Crystal. Hi guys.

Crystal, you would have heard that that's the tough thing about this game. You need someone that is in the public consciousness. Or in a house, really. Yeah. For us to go, you said, do remember that person, but I honestly haven't thought of them this year who you going with? I am going this way the slaves. That's pretty good. That's very good. I'm in thought of playing it for a while you I've got a choice of hats. Actually, we get it. We said we'll just do the outer door Yeah, no, I'm worried I have

No, I'm worried I have. I'm worried I have, unless I'm mistaken with another person from the hip hop world. Who was the person, Andy? I was telling the story a few months ago, when we were filming something in L.A. Who was hanging out the front of a chicken shop, a fried chicken shop, where we stopped. No, that was a fucking convidina. No, it wasn't. It was toned like. That was toned like. It was toned like.

So you use it? Someone else from the rap game. Why not rapping? I'm not too hardcore. No you're right. And he was giving feedback on people's mixed tapes if they did not. To the box.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah wasn't thinking of flavor five. That was a different musical genius. Congratulations, Crystal. Now what would you like the Arnie Donahat and his plane hat, which I'm going to describe as a trucker hat, traditional trucker style hat, puffy front panel, puffy a perhaps an even normal, a mustard colored hat with a blank cream panel,

Jack's hat, oh, now that's what you want. That's a white fabric hat with a kind of a Chinatown, New York Chinatown, take away logo on it, from like a store or a shop in Chinatown. Crystal, your thoughts? I think I will go with Andy Sparehat because I don't want to take his present hat. Oh, she's lovely.

And Annie Donnell, who pleased for the promotion. Thank you, Crystal. You've got that hat. Genevieve now joins us. Well done. You got that hat. Hello, Genevieve. Hello, boy.

Hello, Genevieve. The two hats left in play are Andy's mustard hat. Jack's my personal favorite. And Jack's white hats, which was a freebie, and he won't miss. Genevieve, tell us some we have a thought of for a while. Have you thought of Sally from Brandt Power recently? Yep, sorry. Yeah.

Big one. Big one of Amy's top five women. Oh! Oh! No, growing trends for constantly a reference in the Sally and Brandt Power for people who watch that show. What's Joe Silverani on? Joe Silverani's also Brandt Power.

Is she Brandt Power? Is she like Byer's choice? Because ifani's also brand power. Is she brand power? Is she like buyer's choice? Because if she's a few clones popping up at the moment, eight me if you've gone with either, would have thought of them. Yeah, yeah. Or even review. Zoom review, that's another big one.

Yeah. There's one that's been banging around her that just does electronics. I can't remember who it is. I think it was someone X wheel of fortune. But yeah, Genevieve, really tricky there. Selling from brand power. Yep.

If you'd have named her and Orjo Savani, all the girl from the Ford ads. And he would have been, and he would have been interested and aware at all times. Thank you, Genevieve. Aiden, Ahoy, do you? Ahoy, boy.

Aiden, there are still two hats in play. You are our last contestant to tell us us someone we haven't thought of in a while The mustard hat is in play jacks very Very good quality wide hat that I would highly recommend is in play Aiden tell us all we haven't thought of for a while Alty and Charles of X-Factor Andy thinks of people and is and he's a people person. He's thinking of people all the time.

When did you think of our team Charles? Um, Beck and I went for a walk, uh, when we're in Sydney along the cliffs and Jack's already nodding. Yeah, that's a great, he lived there for a while. Every year when he made a camp in the cliff. Beck's an odds and it looks like they're kind of caged. People could live in the sea. Well, probably enough, I think. It's a common move. in the cliff. Beks it odds and it looks like they're kind of caged. People could live in it. I said, well, finally enough, I think. It's a common move.

Post the voice. Yeah, it wasn't the voice. X Factor. One of them. It might have been Australia's got talent. Who knows? The, um, anyway, I said to Beck, uh, finally enough, the fame got too big for L.D. and Charles,

so he was forced to go and hide in a cave. Sort of a luxury bin Laden. But we but where no no one came looking for that's giving away clues that he was in there um yeah so Alton child has been yeah he's been he's certainly he's certainly been in the headlines for and a bad luck aid and out of interest what how would you have picked definitely the white one yeah it's a shame I could have given to give it a two. I thank you. If people haven't got any others, Aidan? Any? Yeah, there's one more chance. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're right. And as soon as we see it, we'll delete it. Yeah.

And then perhaps you get a chance to play the game, get a hat, hat, hat, hat. Fat luck, fat luck, head. Fat luck, head. Fat luck, head. Fat luck, head. Fat luck, head. Fat luck, head.

And obviously we're loving doing our podcast, but yes. Probably the thing at the moment is podcasts about radio. One of the people talking about radio, and there's a great podcast rolling around called Radio Grates, which we were lucky enough we've been listening to that a lot. We've been listening to that a lot. So wherever you get your podcast from have a search, it's not a podcast one podcast, although they should get it. They'd be fine. They're chasing it. The way it goes is you've got to come on and talk about one of the greats

of radio, one of the legends. We picked probably the greatest prank caller of all time. Yes, he's name was Stanley Worthington. Yep, still is, but he's no longer with us. Yes. But we were lucky enough to go on and put together sort of a podcast documentary and in memoriam. Little tribute for a grandstand.

Yeah, we're going to play it now because it was great. Great bit of audio. And why should they be the ones that get it? Yes, he's next except for our podcast. So the other podcast, radio, great. Well, Stanley Wervington, and or Grandstand, as people often call him, or Giggles Perkins, as people much, much less often call him,

he was truly one of the great Frank Collins. Yeah, and while he's early stuff was basic. Hello. Hello. Hello. You're a Nancy. Yeah. It's bad. Yes, you fell for it.

He over time realized the power of the prank call and using the medium and his incredible convincing manner. He quickly became famous for his scams and his catchphrase. Are you sure you have unicorn for sale? I'm very, very sure. Four pounds, thruppin' 60 and a half-shelling per beast. Okay, well, I'll take six then. Well, you sir, are a fool.

Oh, no! You've been grants-danned by a grandstand phone scam. He invented the classic, then bark like a dog, ending to a prank, which he invented, I think, during one of his many phone calls to people being held by police where he would often call up and pretend to be their lawyer. I can get you off, Mr Murphy. You just have to bark like a poodle for me right now. All right.

Boop. Boop. Boop. Boop. Ha, ha, ha. You sir, are a fool. Oh no. You're so powerful. Oh no. You've been grandstand by a grandstand phone scam.

Thank you. I will kill you. Come on. Incredible. And this is before laws. So you could do that kind of stuff for a lot. Yeah, yeah. He's just had an uncanny ability to convince anyone of anything.

He was the pioneer of so many now classic angles. Hello, I am an Igerian Prince. He's Royal Highness, it can be, a land rewarju, and I need a little bit of money to help me unlock my fortune and travel to your land. Not a problem, Prince, I'll then rarju and lovely to talk to you. Would you prefer Czech or telegraphic transfer? No, I can make a check out to you right now, but there would be a postage today.

Probably more than anything though, he was famous for his clarifier. Yes, yes. For those who don't know much about the art of pranking, the clarifier is when you get pushed back from a target and you have to convince them that you are who you say you are. Yeah, for example, if I was on the phone, I might say, hi, I'm your bank manager to someone.

Now Andy might say, you're not, which means now, Hey, has to use a clarify to convince me like, I might say, no, no, no, I really am. But that probably wouldn't work because I'm just me. I'm not Stan. No, but Stan was the master of the clarify, the tone of his voice, the timing, the pitch. Everything came together to convince anyone.

He was, who he said he was, even if they were skeptical at first. Probably no greater example of this than the now famous 1969 White House call. I'd have to agree. Hello White House. Hello, it's JFK8, the President. Oh, really? Yes. How can I help you, swear?

Put me through to the Apollo 11 boys on the moon. Connecting you down, Mr. President. Hello, Neil Armstrong speaking. Neil, it's JFK. To stop the aliens eating you, bark like a dog. Yes, sir. Woo! Woo!

That's Neil Armstrong, bark like a dog everyone. Just incredible. Yes, of course, JFK was neither the president nor back to like it, everyone. Just incredible. Yes. And of course, JFK was neither the president nor alive at the time, which made it even more a month. Yes, one of the greats will miss you grandstand. And now, our search for low-level X-Men and women continues as we comb. The thousands now of people who are very generously uploaded and donated their personal data to the Hay Mission Andy

servers to be horted by Jack. We then pay a small fee per email to look at as Jack becomes a data overlord and one of the new internet's true shadowy oligarchs controlling us all by controlling the data. It seems like a nice boy and we wish him the best. I mean obviously we've trolls already taken for a certain type of behaviour on the internet. This is deeper than that. Yeah, ork like. Yeah, he is an ork. Where he jacks, Jack squints now when he comes in this year because he lives his life on the dark web.

Yeah. And I don't know what he's trading and selling but still let that not deter you We are battling to get legal control of all the data that is uploaded people have submitted there Um, of course they're valued in important podcast to forms go to hamish.com Fill out the forms just contact us if you want to if you're just random content We don't need all your details. It's just pondering pondering anything? You can be thinking of anything follow ups chase ups It does help us remind people what we promised on the show Yep a lot of people like to email about that

And then but also if you want to be more involved you can fill out this form Hey, I'm whoever got today Rory and O as listed a couple of things They actually do make him a low level X man We've got him on the line though because I wanted to get him up for one particular reason. Rory, how are you champ? I'm alright boys, how are you? I'm alright, Rory. Where about to you? Rory? I am not there. Yeah good. That's where you are mentally. We're about to say you physically. State was. Oh, South Australia. Can we just shock you Rory? We already knew that.

We already knew that. That's because we've got your Rory? We already knew that. We already knew that. That's because we've got your data. Yeah. We didn't expect. We knew that that's where he resides. It's been a good event anyway. A good event for Walk. But we actually know you're at home, Rory, for a long walk,

to leave South Australia. Where's he leaves a border to, I suppose? I've walked up the Sturt Highway, and I'm just closing it on the Alice Springs as we speak. Rory, you've listed a couple of things that grabbed our attention. Number one, can throw a playing card a minimum of 30 metres. So you will never throw a playing card less than 30 metres. Look, if I didn't, you wouldn't say it.

I don't get that. Is that because you're recording each throw and sending us the footage? No, no, no, no. If I threw it, you wouldn't be around. I mean, I mean, when footage? No, no, no, no, no. If I threw it, you wouldn't be around. I mean, I need more people around if I say any matters. If a man throws a card in the woods and no ones around the witness

and didn't throw a card, is that the... So, you just... When I asked for clarification, he gave us a riddle. Rory, so you were more confused. That's why I'm nervous about asking for another one. Well, you're out on a footy field, right? An AFL field. You're practicing throwing at 30 metres.

You throw one 50 metres. Then I turn up. And so the next one definitely goes 30 metres? Yeah, definitely. Okay. And if it didn't, would I vanish? Because you'd say if I didn't do it, you wouldn't be around anymore. Or do you kill me? You're going to kill me. It sounds like I run out the tape measure and I go 29. And then I see you put a blowpipe to your mouth. A dart hits my neck and I go, oh, Rory, don't do it. That's what those toes at your...

You use the poison from a tone. It did sound like we'll get rid of anyone that can uncover your lack of card for like a 30 meter throw. Well, all right, it's dark. Are you, okay, so that's not what we're after. Yep. That's not what we're after. What we were after was you can play any music instrument

and make a ballad out of it. Do you stand by this claim? Oh, jeez. What? I mean, Rory. I hope you do. Do you study music, Rory? Well, no, I don't.

But I have a lot of music instruments behind me. I'm passionate about it. I love it. Well, you did say you can play any musical instrument and make a ballad out of it. I mean, I'm a bit nervous because I always say lots of podcasts in the past have said they can do things. And then, sure, they could.

They still tell. And I don't want to come off like that. But, you know, you kill people. You fail, you tend to kill people, so to blow that up, you know. Incorrectly measure the plan, you're right. Well, Rory, I know you've done the right thing here, man, you're now trying to try

and to temper our expectations. What people tend to do here is to give us a range of going, you know, any stringed instrument. Yeah, what we've done to you is you're trying to weasel out of it a bit, but that's all right. You're in it now, Rory.

And I tell you why you're deeper in it. We have some people standing out the front of your house now in South Australia. Right. They're gonna knock at the door. They've got an instrument. We assume you're at your house. Are you near the door?

There's a dump truck out the front as well. That's nothing to do with us. There's a drum kit in the back of a truck. Yeah. Rory, what's the instrument? I've not yet done a big metal box. Great. A big metal box from... Are you going? I'm tired to pronounce. Serious? Serious? Serious? Damn it. Serious music.

Two, four, 249 Maggle McGill Better cuz they're giving it to us for free Adelaide the other day of 506 9 the home of great instruments Rory what's the instrument if you got out of the box? No, but I'm springing in front now all right, well they're nice people that delivered it Yeah, yeah, are they Are they coming in with you? Have you invited them in? I think they're coming in or they're gonna they're gonna maybe hold the phone while you do the battle of FMS AFM The former former station we used to work at Actually, sugar said One oh Adelaide there are for the old radio station we used to work at yep, and went through a rebrand

Gosh, what is it mate? It's a An accordion. Yes, can play any musical instrument and make a baller. Rory, we're not going to make you do it right now. You've got five minutes. We're going to call you back in five minutes, Patrick. We'll be judging you on. Structure of Ballad. Yep. Emotional impact of Ballad. Yeah. And musical originality of Ballad. And just the quality of the sound. And quality of Ballad.

And the sound. And number four, quality of sound. Yeah. Okay. Structure, emotional impact, musical originality, and sound. See you in five minutes. Five minutes exactly, mate. Five.

All right. So much better. Very confident. Back to you. Hey, it's been 5 minutes. Probably six actually. Yeah, we'll be generous there. Jack Pop the number in.

Don't give him any more time. We'll be with Jack Sloppyness. Here it goes. Here we go. Rory. A eager. Here goes. Here we go. Rory, a eager world awaits. I'm playing musical instrument and make a bell out of it. Ian McGill. Ian McGill. Ian, what can you call you back? It's 892, Jack, not 893. Ian, sorry to talk to you. Sorry. It's the Hamish Nandy podcast.

We're not going to call you back. Sorry'm sorry. We called the wrong number. Someone else. Right out. Okay. Good on you, Ian. Thank you. Right out. Bye. Jackie giving him too much. Isn't that for another because what was the name of the music store on McGill Road that we used? McGill Road. It's a series music from and that was a four nine McGill Road. That's why I thought we must have run the music store. Rodog

How I have yeah You don't like answering traditionally do you Rory Rory? Last time when Andy said where are about say you said pretty good. No, we've gone how I you said yeah, Rodog How's the ballot gone? I mean, yeah. Yes, it sounds like the words of a confident man, Rory. And someone's obviously holding the phone for you, because you're a little bit distant. So I assume you're strapped into the accordion. You've got it.

You've worked out how to play it in the last six minutes. I probably dedicated three to learning to play play it three minutes to craft or two minutes craft in the ballot lyric musical structure and then one minute just relax one minute full time off because you shouldn't go into a gig in a high-stress mind yeah you know many pack your plays playstation before a big boxing match so I assume that's what you've done so roaring anything we need to know before you play the ballad? I mean you got some professional music stuff, so you know, all the day one stuff.

Day one. That's an interesting little caveat to put it on. Well, we'll just go into it. Good luck. This is Rory's ballad. And if he pulls it off, you'll be getting an H&A coin. Certainly will. Good luck, Rory. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't know if anyone can hear us. He's probably... He's probably... He's probably... He's a problem for me.

He could have kept going because he was simply picking notes. Rory, you know what? He's a problem for me. He's what I'm liking. I mean, he's a problem for me, Hank. He could have kept going because he was just simply picking notes and playing them with feeling. What I've annoyed with us for is we've picked an instrument where you can just make a sound. You know, so like he's actually, we don't have to prove it again. We... We're like... We should have picked an instrument. And I blame you for this. You're the one that picked the accordion.

Because all you do is fan it in and out and you're getting what Raw is getting. From Siseric music. Siseric. All... We should have been picking trombone. Or something that actually requires some... I thought it needed an instrument. You can sing over because he said ballad.

I thought he was gonna sing a ballad without music I didn't think you could I didn't think you could You got a little disappointed No, no, I think this part of ourselves I'm about to say something, usually I think we left ourselves unknowingly open for a loophole I guess I just thought a ballad had lyrics

And what he's played is a well-paced progression of different notes But aren't they don't have any musical merit together, but certainly was slow enough to appear like a ballad And he's got a sandwich. He didn't say a good ballad It wasn't hard, you know hard called rock. It wasn't here. We go a ballad. Oh, he'll be like oh This is interesting. I'm just looked up the definition Here we go. Rory would you accept I mean would you accept the dictionary definition of a ballad? Okay I might just put the accordion down. Go for it mate. Yeah Right there we go. It just says a slow sentimental or romantic song

That's that's the number two number one is a poem or song narrating a story in short stances. So he's definitely far out on that regard. So Staley, that's really, but the second definition is actually, he's clear on it. Someone gives a definition on what the second definition in the dictionary is. Is that usually the non-traditional definition? Has he got a coin out of a sandwich? We can name it. We can name it. A ballad is a form of verse, often a narrative set to music.

Yeah, that's what we were expecting. I think that's his problem. I feel like you're right, hair. Maybe a ballad needed to have lyrics. I mean, what's your vibroid? I mean, you got the mention I had to come up with lyrics. No, but you said ballad. What's your vibro? I mean you got you got to mention I had to come up with lyrics No, but you said ballot Oh, I said a confusion Bro, you've got a coin you got a coin on a technicality. It's a great way to win a coin You're gonna nature that coin, it's worth a bit coin.

It's about anywhere between $5,000, $10,000 on a good or a bad day. You're rich, buddy. You're rich. See you, bud. Thanks, Steve. See you, bud. Bye. Hey, waiting for an elevator at the airport, right?

Good scene setting. And... But what's wrong with the escalators? No, there wasn't an escalator. False. There wasn't always an escalator. There wasn't an escalator. What an airport.

It was. Okay, just believe me, that's the important thing. There wasn't an escalator available. There's stairs to the left, but we're going down three stories and we're waiting for an elevator that probably held around about 10 people at a busy time. Car park elevator. No, it was inside. So airport is there.

It was a free store in the morning. It was at Los Angeles Airport, was it Lax? Right. So you can say L.A. mate. Give me that Lacks, they're not a pilot. You have to... Well, you're the one asking for the airport so bad. I just wanted to clarify.

So now I can picture it. Okay, anyway, there was a family, about eight waiting. And they seemed to have too many grandparents. Yeah, sometimes you see that, but you see like a two-poor should of met of old people to the family, you see that. I would know, I thought we'd find that weird. I would see that. You see like a person. I should have met of old people to the family. I would know. I would find that weird. I would notice that too. Because that means maybe both sets of grandparents have come in a holiday. It looks like they're six of the two.

It looks like, oh right. So it looks like, hey man, pop, do you want to bring Santa Moran? That would look like, it looked like six-year-old six grandparents and four under 60s. Yeah and then like two kids two like our parents age and then two kids. Geez. That's way too many old people. And they were getting flustered the lift hadn't come quick enough. I'm a fireport and they're old people.

And they're never unflustered. Which I thought was a strange call considering the age but they did seem able body they've gone they've looked at each other and they thought should we go take the stairs, right? Because the effort is actually is full of snap decisions like that. Yeah, we need to suddenly abandon a previous plan and take a risk. In this case, the hip replacement risk. Yeah. To just make a bit of time up and feel better about it.

So they have moved to the stairs about eight metres to the left. Everyone had cleared the area of the lift. I stepped forward because I was behind them with four or five other passengers to take up their space and the lift went off. Ding! Right? And they've turned around. They like it. I like it. They've turned around and the doors open and it's not an empty lift.

It's got room for probably six old people. Two, two middle aged kids. They have to split up the team. Or this new group of people that are now in the front row, which, well, I see I've included. Yeah. So they're looking at me. They didn't speak English, but they're looking at me like, oh, we were there. So we'll get in.

Didn't speak English. No, okay. Yeah. So they're looking at me going, we were speak English, but they're looking at me like, oh, we were there, so we'll get in. Didn't speak English. No, okay. Yeah. So they're looking at me going, we were there, so we'll get in, you know, with hands. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I gave a fingerwacker. A fingerwacker.

A fingerwacker. Commonly seen on a soccer pitch from a player who's been failed. It does not agree with the ref. But knows they have to, in fact, a bit different because that player knows he has to accept it. This has been going, no, no, no, no. This is before the ref blows the whistle.

Don't you dare. So I'm like, ah, you've left the area. You've made a choice. You can now come back. Right. To then there's some angry old people, right? And the person who's beside me gave them the come on in, we'll stand back, come on in. Did the family, this family of 10

that has six old people in it, send the oldies in first. I don't appreciate that, that's playing the sympathy card. Yeah, so this person next to me is going, okay, you guys take it, you were here. So immediately breaking the group, I was by myself. So I'm looking at them going, no, no, no, no, no, you have to waggle them now. Wageling them now. You don't speak for the group. You don't speak for the group. I'd like to get in first. I'd like to run a quick election and be the

mayor of the group and represent the interests of the group. As it turns out, all ten of them squeeze in. And you get nothing. I got nothing. Having to walk around. There would have been escalators around if I know where I'm from. What's the escalator? The thing is, they've broken several laws. Their claim of we were here, so we're still here, and it just breaks laws of physics.

You can't be in two places at once. You're either in the box or you're out of the box. The cat can't be in both boxes. Yes. The cat can't be both in and out of the box. One of the oldest rules in the box. Less the box as a cat flap. In which box the cat can be half in and half out. But the cat can't be completely in the box completely out of the box. It's something to do with Ingle and Schrodinger's cat, but I can't remember what it is. That's the number one rule of physics. From cavemen times, come to you and the caveman out of the cave. I wish I had you. The cat and the boy. The number one you break in the laws of physics. Number two, you're breaking sometimes even stronger.

Well, it's just as strong. The social etiquette law. You made a decision. You gave up. You should have, if you wanted to play this game you should have left your week in frail with the lift and center forward party. All I'm here's what I would have loved and I think I would have stepped by. He's in step and I because we had the Larry language barrier and he was like we he's pointing like we were there. I would have loved hands clasped together like number stack. No just that. That's a prayer. Can we please, sir? Well, that's a prayer.

You're asking for them to beg. Well, that is actually the begging of the... No, the image. That's begging. Well, I use the emoji as thank you. I use this thank you. Thanks, emoji. Yeah, so thank you, sir.

But people begging for their life do the same thing. That's what I wanted. You would have liked a subordinate to beg. Yeah, there should have been a way for you to... Everyone should learn that basic phrase and you should learn, please thank you, hello, in every language, and also Begg. You Begg. If there was...

Now you beg. Yeah, if they gave me a begging symbol, I would have gone... That's a nice king. A nightly... A gracious nod. Fair enough. It's a nice king. A nightly, a gracious nodding. Fair enough.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. dollars. This might be your last for the year because we did discuss earlier on the year that you were going to talk to me about it a lot more and that was a great appart. I have been talking to you about it. No, a bit retrospectively. That wasn't specified.

No, that was specified. It was the coins that were ridiculously expensive, which is fine because people are loving them and we know that they're the value of a Bitcoin. Then there was the tokens, the token of no value which I agree is not valuable. It's a nice thing to give people. It is, it is. But so... Well, you're just being a bit of a grump about this, which is a shame because it's something I did for you. It won't be.

It is 100% it's. Okay. This is unashamedly all your, go on all your way. Okay. I found a website where this is amazing. It's a company that's in America right. That, to give you a bit of context, you know sometimes a Comic Con and stuff.

There'll be like a table, like if you go to a normal Comic Con, there'll be people there that are just happy to have a day out. So I think stuff that might have played like an awl in one, Lord of the Rings film. Yeah. So there are no other celebrities know that. To the people at Comic Con, but it's still like, all right, well, you've been on the set, you've got a little bit more value than the others.

Totally. If you to view Comic Con celebrities, like a show bag at any royal show, normally there's one item that's getting you in there. And they're the bunch of junk. So I feel like, yeah. And when you get set, when someone calls you up and goes, oh, hey, Pete, you want to come to Comic Con? calls you up and goes, oh, hey, Pete, you wanna come to come and go in?

I'm Phil Arana. I'm Phil, well, of course you are. You're just in the crowd when Superman flies over in the second film. Yes. But can I still have my own desk? Yeah, if you want it. If you want it.

There's no money before you. That's, there's that tier. But then in America, this is really, really common. If you get like Jon Snow to come to Comic Con. Huge. Huge, and they charge for autographs and photos. It's not weird to come to Comic Con. Huge. Huge, and they charge for autographs and photos. It's not weird to go to Comic Con, like it's an accepted transaction. Go to Comic Con and it might be like, you know, $300 to meet Jon Snow or whatever.

That's where he goes, all right, that's worth it for me. I'll go for the day. Everyone gets a photo and send me a job, pay me 300 bucks, and it's like totally normal. 100% normal. Sports stars do it to like 50 bucks an autograph, whatever. So there's this service that's popped up in America, which is that concept, but for recording shout outs and personalized messages.

So it's full of people who are going, yeah, you tell us the name of who you want to shout out to. And for like 200 characters or whatever, you write it in, and you pay some money. Yep. And they record the shout out and they send it to you. This is where you're about to tell me that Screech from Save By The Bell or something.

How dare you. Has said, and you know, good luck with your next game of golf or something like that. How dare you. Okay. Perez Hilton. Perez, please enjoy. Oh, there's just before you hear the audio.

How much for Perez? You know, I... 25 bucks. 25 bucks. 25 bucks. That's so cheap. I still don't think it's good value. Well, why do you hear it? He did over a minute. He did over a minute for you. What? There's a ding. You'll hear a ding that sounds like a sand effect. He's filmed it outside and he's back out and he bumped, he's head on a wind chime. Hi there. I'm Perez Hilton and I just turned 40.

I'm a dork, but I'm really happy that Andy, like me, likes to celebrate his birth year. It should be months of celebrating because you are to be celebrated. Andy, you're a great guy. If you really do have great friends, you're a great guy. You have great friends. You do great things like playing the trumpet, which I think needs to make a comeback in pop music. I was literally, honestly, truly just talking about this in the gym with my trainer.

Remember all those great songs from the 80s, from Gloria, Stephon, and others that featured trumpets? I wish we had more of that. You know, the saxophone occasionally, but the trumpet, not so much. Anyways, I hope you enjoy some golf on your birthday celebration, the tour, several stops of it along the way,

hit up the links, and also make sure that you do something special with Hamish, because Hamish is your best friend. He's your most awesome friend. You are awesome too, Andy, a big hug to you both. Perez Hilton, over and out. That doesn't represent good value to Perez or me. 25 bucks.

25 bucks seems so cheap for that. Right. Yet I still didn't want it for $25. Hey, I look all proud of Perez. I mean, he's done an amazing job with what he does. I mean, he's sitting in his back, I reckon just, I mean, that's only a minute. 25 bucks a minute, that's pretty good work.

He'd be knocking off easy 20 an hour, five or a bucks an hour. Perez has got, he's got this nail. So then there's like tons and tons of people on there and they're all from reality shows and various things. So then I was like, what was expensive? Well, Dennis Robinson there for grand. Really? I was like, cool. What was expensive? Well, Dennis Romance on there for grand. Really?

I've got a lot of hooks in the water. Unfortunately, it takes a few days for turnaround and I only got onto this a couple of days ago. Little scrappy, who's a rap star? Little scrappy. Little scrappy, yeah, he's 35 bucks. He's got a message for you, come and hasn't given it to me yet. Oh, cancel it.

No, I don't even know who scrappy is. You'll love it, it's a good message. I got another guy from a TV. I yet. Oh, cancel it. No. I don't even know who scrappy is. You'll love it. It's a good message. I got another guy from a TV. I was just scrolling. I was picking anyone. What did you give Perez? I gave him a few pointers.

My friend, he loves his birthday. Can you make it special for him? Yeah. He likes golf, he likes Trump. You should include me too, my name's Hamish. Yeah, so that's him even reading that. The admin of that. Yeah.

That goes into the time for he's 25. But he's happy to do the deal. He's happy with the deal, I'm happy with the deal, with Donald Trump says let's do the deal. Even someone say that Prince Hilden's website was millions of dollars worth of, you know, I pay now and all that kind of stuff. He's got time to fill. I don't care if he doesn't the toilet. Little scrappy's got one coming for you, Andy. You also dog the bounty hunters out these a hundred bucks And I thought it was worth it, but I worry dogs not getting back to me. Yeah, I guess I think they can choose to do it too Should we get about a hundred on do it?

Hey dog, where's my hand? You haven't done my message yet. You've got one coming from little scrappy You've got one coming from a guy who just seemed like a nice guy. I've never heard of him before or he's show. Why'd you never heard a little scratch show? I think that's just as impressive. A show called Southern Charm. I feel like I'm calling him a little scrappy, but I was a little scrappy. Southern Charm, one of the lead actors off that,

which understands quite a popular show in America. He, this guy was 50 bucks. Can't remember his name, but I know he'll do you a really nice message to you, that's on its way. Not to be left out, Jack. I thought, well, since we're getting messages for everyone, how would you like a message from your favourite tennis

player, Donald Young, as high as 38 in the world at one stage, currently hovering in the one thirties? What country does he play for? America. Your favourite American tennis star. Okay. He is your message from Donald Young. Jack, what's up, man? I hear you struggling trying to build this house with these YouTube videos. I'm sure it's going to work out, man. Don't worry about it. You know, everybody uses YouTube to learn something new. So get it done. However long it takes, I'm sure you're going to do a great job. The house is going to be amazing and also sight no, no man I know your hair is looking great so enjoy and hope that house comes out the way you want it.

40 bucks I think from a guy who's reached the heights of top 40. Well it actually makes you feel special. This is him going get it done man like whatever it takes that's done with youngs attitude tennis and he's trying to give you the same attitude for house building. And now next time I see him play, I'll actually go, I didn't know you before, but I'm rooting for you for this match. Get it done.

Watching the early rounds. Oh. Oh. Oh. Show off with Perez Hilton. Oh. Oh. That can't easy boys, easy.

There's plenty of videos on their way for everyone. It's like Jack's a good job, surprise. We might have to get a surprise to do, Jack. Well, why don't you get a little... You've also got a body builder. Forget his name too, that he's doing well. I spent a few hundred bucks. We got addicted.

I'm addicted. Hey, this weekend we piss. We piss. We piss every weekend. We piss every weekend. We piss every weekend. We piss every weekend. Everyone pisses every weekend. But this weekend we do a very special piss, for a very special person.

We chow this for triumph. For triumph. For each other. You're going to come and watch the footy on Saturday night. That's where we thought we would hold contest to see who had a larger storage facility inside them to hold wheat. And what are we doing?

We doing a funnel beaker? I think we just said we just want a, I was thinking weighing but you wanted funnel beaker. I know I was happy with weighing because we want it to the gram, like I think we want it to be very, very specific. Oh, so no, I was like weighing ourselves and then getting on and we... That's what I don't want. I want... Let's use the electric scales we use for the meat weighing challenge. Yep. That has decimal points of grams.

Yep. We put a large bucket on the scales. We zero it. Yep. We then do our we in the bucket. That's the way our we. That's the way it does the most of the... So yeah, I suppose you could cheat by having a lot of heavy metals in your room, but I think it's safe to say that

human to human wee ways the same. Yep, so who's got the heaviest amount? That's the most volume. Don't even need, could just be a blank old bucket. Yep, you might even want to throw the bucket out and you might want to just rinse out the piss bucket. I'd recommend to throw out. We'll do it at my house.

Yeah. Well, yeah, you have to watch the footy. Yeah, yeah. So we didn't have to go to my house to do the work. I think Zoe will be upset if we just traips in pissing buckets. I think I'll go to the toilet. Go to your house.

Go to, go to, okay. I'm confident. I know you're confident too. To show you what a good sportsman I am though, I organised a special message for you I know your confident too to show you what a good sportsman I am though. I Organized a special message for you using the same service. I've been using to buy celebrity shoutouts and from me $50 I was able to get from the real housewives of New York seasons two to five. Carly Ben Simons Really to send you this message And I hear that you're about to do the challenge, the great flow off.

And I know that you're super, super nervous, but you should just stay calm and hold tight and have so much fun. Because everybody knows you can do it. And by the way, I'm on the streets of New York. And so hope. See you later. I don't care where you are. I guess for fans of the show, that it's exciting for them to see her in so much. I do care about the message.

That was far more impressive than the calli Ben Simon's. As to get to get to you personalized at your competitor. To get to see the CDS running a pump up message for me. Hold on tight, you can do it. My favorite thing about that was I obviously included no details of the challenge. I said, look, my friend Annie's about to go in this challenge It's called the great flow off. He's really nervous Can you give him a good luck message?

My favorite bit is that she's chosen to read the phrase you can have so much fun Just have so much fun watching a flight hold on tight. Yeah, yeah, so it feels like she knew I mean you got it You got to hold on for as long as possible for you go. Yeah. Thank you, Carly. Carly Benzheimer. Or Carly or Carly. Carly?

Carly. Thank you, Carly. If I've got my stats right, I don't feel really correct me if you're a fan of real housewives and you're going to really care, but I believe she's ever, seasons two to five. So late to come in, but obviously, hitting a few home runs and producers kept around. Only for three seasons and then that's probably gave her the axe. Well, now she's doing these videos for 50 bucks. See you next week, guys.

Hey, fans, show's not over. Any thought we should come back? We just a quick little fix up Kelly Ben Simon It's been a lot of you you said we don't need your correct. It's like we barely this up Yeah, it was what I was asking with it's Kylie you confirmed Kylie. I very certainly said Kylie It's Kelly Kelly with a case Kelly Ben Simon will see personalized message franny. She's written. Kelly with the cake. Kelly, Ben Simon and we'll see. Personalised message, Franny. She's a written frando in the flow of. Will I use the favourite?

And we break Kelly, Ben Simon's art. We'll find out next week. MUSIC Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandie podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com. Lysner. can chart or contribute at www.hamishanandhi.com