Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2018 Ep 29

Episode Date: September 12, 2018

1. More messages of inspiration for Andy2. Harry the ‘Flag Man’3. Battle of the chicken ads4. The piss test5. The piss test pt.26. Border in the Court

A list-snap production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. Nomiscar, nomiscar, nomaskar, as they say in Bangladesh. I believe they do. No handbrake, press on.

Actually, though, he tricks me there, and I was going to say, well done. It's busy. Because I walk straight into the, what's known in the business in agreement trap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Pretend to have knowledge in agree, and then the person who laid the trap quickly whooshes the bangler that actually rug from out underneath you. It's just like, ha ha, it's as Uzbekistan or whatever. But this time around, it was not an agreement trap, it was a friendship info exchange.

Spoken in Bangladesh, but also the region, so I should put that out. Of course. Speak it wherever you want, if that's your thing. Hey, ando. I heard 54,000 people speak it in a here and a show. Would you hear that from? Ah! I know, but people are saying that. I read it.

Ando, speaking about receiving great things, whether they're facts or in my case, celebrity videos for you. It's been a week, it's been a week of great thing. Can I ask you to say the Wee Challenge, a load on the show, very excited to get to that. Yes. We're Andy and I on the Wee Ken,

we've managed to get round to it. Yep. Watching the 48 Andy's house, who could have the highest volume, balladder, who would be king of wall-blooders. Yeah, the bladder king. Before we get to that, though, on last week's show, I was thinking about a great new service, King of War Bladders. Yeah, the Bladder King. Before we get to that though, on last week's show,

I was thinking about a great new service. I found where you pay 25, 35, 40 bucks, whatever it is, whatever the price being charged is. What's the most you've out laid? 50. Who was that for? Little scrappy, he hasn't written back yet. That's my, my, the big,

Who is he? Who is he? He's the King, he's not the King of Bladders, he's the King of all rap. He's probably friends with like little yoddy and all the little guys, little yoddy. Anyone with a little name, I assume all scrapies in their gang. I guess that's what you have to, if you had a bunch of guys all call little bowel or whatever. And someone else came in and went, oh, I'm the landy.

We do that. You're not part of that. So, Simon Little scrappy's part of that crew. I'm just judging a subject. Well, I mean, it's just, he's got the branding of being part of that. Part of that gang. He hasn't written back, and luckily, a few of the other videos I'd requested on this website have, if people obviously need

to this sequentially that we heard last week. Some real big names coming in. I was buying some of these videos for you, some shout outs. Who do we have, Perez Hilton? Giving you a big shout out. Kelly Ben Simon's.

Yeah. Of course, from Real Housewives of New York. You caught up Carly and Carly. Couple of times. Kelly. She was wishing you luck on the flow off challenge the big wheat challenge We've got a few nipples and then Jack had some yeah jack had Donald young 139 ranked tennis player in the world telling him to just get it done build that house

How these refuses to build I was right the same way this website works is you any close to Do that inspired I'm moving slow, but I don't refuse to build it. It seems like that's the way. It's not getting to the stage where the only logical assumption to someone that's taken this long to build the house is you're refusing as a protest. And that's what Donald Young was trying to snap you out of. Back on the radio show, almost a year ago,

Jack was asking for free timber. Yeah. It's been a quick year. Doesn't that feel like no longer go? Well, it doesn't feel like that for the house It's just been seeing their aching for an hour. We put into it and nothing's happened Hopefully, John young snaps you out of your fun That's the point of getting these videos for you guys because I want them to inspire you and oh There's a world famous body builder. Of course you know his name's Kelly Muscle

He's obviously a stage name. No, I think that's the muscles Um, he's obviously a stage name. No, I think that's the muscles. He grew into what he was deemed to be. K-A-L-I. Like me, Evil Times, where the surname came from what your occupation was. That's right, exactly right. You've day got it. Kale muscle, he's heard about you.

Kale is new. Kale, K-A-L-I. You've said Kale before and been wrong. I wrote it down his you. Kylie's new. Kylie's guy. K-A-L-I. You've said Kylie before and been wrong. I wrote it down to him. He's known Kelly. He's an inspirational guy. I told him about a few of the trials and tribulations you were going through. And asked him if he would be kind enough for a fee to record a message to get you over

a hurdle that you're facing day to day, week to week. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Carly Muscle here, and this message is for my boy, Andy. The word on the street is that you trying to quit smoking. Well, guess what? If I can quit the life of crime, you know what I mean? You can stop smoking, Bob. You know, do you want to live forever? I know I do. you know what I mean? You want to live forever?

I know I do. So I'm doing everything in my power to live forever. I'm eating organic. I'm not putting all of them toxins in my body. You know what I'm saying? You go listening to me or be blah, blah, blah. Huh? It's your boy, Cali Muscle, quit this smoking, bro, for sure.

And not only that, it's unhealthy, but you you know people paying to be unhealthy don't pay your money For that nicotine and them cancer sticks. You know I'm talking about live ever baby I love you. It's for your boy Kylie muscle. Keep hitting that gym drink you some good water good organic food without corn syrup fruit Toast you know I'm talking about Andy you hear me. I'm talking to you Andy. You hear me I love you, bro. Keep pushing for the system. Let's stop you get that money in muscle, baby Love you, baby. How did he know you catch phrase get that money in muscle? That's what I want to know I've just Googled Cali muscle. Yeah, I look healthy Have you feel let me ask you this will you have a is no doubt that he's put something in his body.

Yeah, he's here. What kind of meat and water? Will you have a cigarette today? Jacob, you've done this question. Don't touch the question. Don't touch the question. Will you have... That doesn't look all natural.

No, I believe he's word. Will you have a cigarette today? Did he think if I quit a life of Jimmy had some run-ins with the law early on okay, well you have a cigarette today You've got nicks con now. We might still smoke if the next well no, I don't I don't look it worked No, I'm not saying I don't look it up to okay, Cali muscle luckily I got one more video this weekend because you never know when they're gonna come in this one actually just came in a few hours ago I This is a guy called Austin.

I might have told you about it. Just a guy called Austin. Well, I can't remember his last name. He's on a TV show called Southern Charmy. It appears to be one of the stars. We, I don't think we get Southern Charmy in Australia, but he, I told him about something that had happened to you. I've just looked him up.

He looks quite dapper. Oh yeah, it's southern charm. I mean, I assume it's a show about handsome Jents in the South. He's a preppy who looks thing. Well, Austin, I told him, Austin Crowl, that could be him. Explain to him a little bit about a terrible thing that happened in your life regarding golf

and just let them know the details of what's going on and he sent you this message. Going on, man, it's Austin. This is a very interesting post that I've been asked for. A very interesting request. Andy, I heard that you recently got caught cheating in a golf tournament at your club. I have not. Hey, you know, if God, I don't know what words of wisdom that I want to give you.

If you ain't cheating, you ain't trying. No, I don't know if I had, look, I think that obviously your club has every reason to maybe have kicked you out of the tournament. But the kick you out of the club is a bit aggressive. But it seems to me that you have friends that are out there that are in your corner, your buddy, HeyMesh. He is in your corner. And, you know, I think that you'll get through it. It seems that the club means a great deal to you.

And we all love golf, right? I mean, I was just at the US Open. So I can understand. But I think that you hang in there, you keep your head up. You hang out with the people that are close to you. And man, just just go for that appeal. And I think that you'll come out on the other side. Just show some remorse, you know? Um, anyways, cheers and have a good week, man. If you appeal your suspension from the club, saying show some remorse, you'll get back into your club.

Okay, well none of that's happened. I thought that happened. I'm not super. Maybe I wasn't listening. I thought you got caught cheating at the club and kicked out of your golf club. Oh, yeah, 100% thought we were talking about that the other day. You were talking about golf.

I was doing some other stuff, so I might only have been half listening. He really wore it thick, didn't he? He wore it hard for me. I feel like being something bad now to get an opportunity to get the job out of the fun. I can give you that big piece of keypad forever. I reckon Austin's not cheap, I think he's in the 40s. Yeah, they get an opportunity. Well, now you can stop the out of the fun. I can give you that big piece of paper for ever. I reckon Austin's not cheap,

but I think he's in the 40s. I think it was 40, 45 bucks US. Wow. So the great news is now you can cheat at a golf tournament, get kicked out, and you know you've got a message in the back pocket that can cheer you up. I've had another thing.

Oh, I've got more coming. The game is over. The game is over. The game is over. The game is over. The game is over. Hey, and we love testing people's special skills. Oh, we've got more coming. Hey, and we love testing people's special skills. Harry, welcome to the show. You wrote in, and all it reads, is, able to identify every flag of every country in the world.

That's big, Harry. It's true. It's true. It's true. One reasonably confident. And now, what bought this on? Because it's not a subject to school. I mean, I suppose geography is better. I mean, an art too, if you wanted to paint some of the flags. Bet the spreads.

What? What? And spreads maths, if you wanted to count the flags. But I mean, it's not really a thing you learn at school. Where'd you pick up this talent? Well, I was fortunate to travel a bit when I was younger. Mm-hmm. A few countries started picking my interest.

Did you start noticing? Oh, wait a second. Everyone's going to have different color of the square color. Did you start noticing? Oh, wait a second, everyone's gonna have different color of the square color. Did you? Did you play? Did you play? Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?

No. And if a god say he's not, he's not. He's playing Fortnite. That's true. Well Jack, did you have where in the world's Carmen San Diego? Yeah, but it was retro when I was a kid. It was a joke. It was a joke.

It wasn't karaoke. kidding, kidding, kidding. Okay, okay, okay. Harry's probably got HTC Vive or he's probably on VR. Okay, okay, okay. So you're the flag man. Flag, flag and couples. Yeah, flags and capitol cities. Wow, okay.

But you would have traveled around a bit and gone. You know, so mum and dad, Papa Harry, Mama Harry would have said, Hey kids, we're going to Egypt, learn the flag or whatever. Guys, you know, I thought we might go through Europe, catch a couple of flags there. You know, you're only going to pick up six or seven really.

But then what made you go, want to get the, want to bag the rest of the one now? Yeah. Well, I suppose it's one of those things for me, which I think everyone kind of has their own kind of thing, which we know maybe a bit too much on. Yeah, and this is it. And this is it.

That's how it goes. It's hard to get them all, it's hard to get like, like, my fair, when you're in the dark. What was the hardest flag to learn? kind of thing which we know maybe a bit too much on. Yeah, and this is it. This is it. That's how it gets into it. It's hard to get like, my hair when you do this. What was the hardest flag to learn? The hardest flag. Well, the law flags are the very similar. Yep. And then the same.

Romani and Chad, basically the same colors. Same colors, same colors. You even picked that one. Okay, Harry. Because I mean, they're such a different parts of the world. They are. I don't want to brag. I do that. Harry, have you ever picked up with your flag knowledge? It's helped once

Yeah, I don't want to disclose Also helps that you see for five We had to lovely young guy, but it probably would have been the time when you sketch the Czech Republic flag. I'm Harry, we are calling you the flagman today. I keep saying that because we try to get together and open up. Well, we're trying to do as inception. You hear flagman, flagman.

You are the flagman, correct? Yeah, he's the flagman. Everyone knows you as the flagman. And so we're thinking to ourselves, what can we do with this information that everyone knows of you as the flagman? So, Annie and I spent a few hours in the studio early today concocting this incredible opener. Buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-buh-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b- I don't even know, fine tune it, fine tune it. Harry, and even then, even then, I'm doing 19, and you probably won't even remember that song. That's true, we put in, that's really all.

Yeah, okay, that's good. We put in two hours on Carmen San Diego, and then just put the cassette of that on it and just dance around the room as a break. But even then, I'd notice I'm taking 100, didn't say the word flag properly, but that's, what we thought we'd do though to test your skill in a different way, Harry,

is we're gonna pretend we're all knights on the watch at the top of a castle, right? And then we'll do any Westorossi flags. Then we're going to see an army come in towards us and they bear flags. Hamish or I will ask for the binoculars. Don't think too hard about this scenario because we know that's not really how wars work. And we'll then read to you, describe you the flag, you tell us what country it is. We'll let the drawbridge down if you're correct. They are friends and we'll all celebrate with wine. So you're incorrect, we'll all get slaughtered.

Yeah, we will be slaughtered. Okay. So again, so it's like respecting the- Yes. Obsession, yes. Yeah, it's like going, do we have a truce with them? And if you get it correct,

hopefully we've bought in the right team, the right country we've got a truce with. Now, so again, to paint the picture, we're on the top of a castle. Only Andy and I have the binoculars. Now I know it would make more sense to give the binoculars to the flag, specialised to see he can just directly look at the flag. But they're expensive binoculars. But they're expensive binoculars and you're not allowed to, your hands are covered in

butter. And you've also been playing Fortnite too much in your eyes and hurting. So you wouldn't really be good at the but you'd be good at us giving the audio description of the flag. Okay, okay. That's how it's done. Alright, let's head up to the watch. Okay. Now you're... Oh, she's a cold winter. She bites. I hate to have hands covered in butter.

Alright, actually I would enjoy that. What's that? I don't know. There's an approaching army. Hand me the binoculars. They're within trumpet range, so it shouldn't be too hard to see the flag. I think we're going to be the soft board. The first one.

I even got this here. It's Jack giving you the flag. Yeah, it's okay, but I'm just as good as having you in real life. Yeah. So people don't know, we don't actually know these flags. It's a rectangular red flag with a white cross on it. The right white cross. So, this is a company tie flag, the cross?

Yes, company tie flag. Is it Denmark? Over the drawbridge. It was Denmark! We're letting the dames, the friendly dames. I actually got it. I thought it was someone. Let's all play Lego with them. Yes, welcome Denmark. May you bring your knockers in. That your friends from Sweden may have given you a bit racist. OK.

Oh, back on the watch. Ah, she's a cruel mistress. How long for hands covered in the thermal protective properties of fat and butter. I wish I had your hands. OK. Ah, the Onise.c. A flag raised above the impending armies. What does it look like, binoculars holder?

Hang on, just give me some time. I'm just trying to focus them. I've gone the wrong way. Now it's sharp. I always get the way wrong. Anyway, they're coming, so I better describe the flag to you. It's rectangular in shape, divided into three unequal portions.

There is a thin strip. I would say that occupies it no more than 10% of the flag surface, the thin strip on the left that's white with some sort of red tapestry type design. Then the rest of the flag is divided into horizontally two stripes, a thick red portion on the top and a thin green portion on the bottom. Okay. So on the left there's like a 10% white strip with red tapestry. That goes vertically. That goes vertically up and down. Okay. Then the rest of the flag, you've got at a ratio of about three to one, red,

thick, big, thick red block that would cover about 70% of the flag. So it's a whole area. Horizontally. And then horizontally that, the remainder is green. So a lot of red, a lot of red. Some green underneath. And a white, three-notch, and a white margin on the left, covering a 10% thickness vertical white stripe with red tapestry.

Harry. Harry, doff. They'll have any idea whether we should let these barbarians in or not. So, red, green, and a white stripe on the side with red tapestry type, fiddly dittles. It's a bit, sort of a, I'm feeling... Could it be Belarus? Let them in.

Or... We need one more conference on the day, right? I've been... Oh, it's a Belarus! Let loose with Belarus! Belarus, can you do the Fandango? Yes, we can! Well done!

All right. Belarusia! I don't know if I can do that. Okay, we're just all back up there. How many we're doing? One more. If he gets easy, he gets to coin. Okay, we're just all back up there. How many were doing? One more. If you get to see, he gets going. Harry, this is massive for you, right?

She's a cold winter. Oh, there's another army coming. But maybe from Switzerland, I detect a Swiss Alporn. Hand me the binoculars. Here they are. Sorry, these seem advanced for these medieval times. Yes, these looking glasses came from the wizard from the future.

The wizard of us. Marti McFly. It's a rectangular flag. As like the... Are they our drums or their drums? Errr... Our drums, I think, because they're quite close. Which is fun because everyone in the castle is into the game. They're flying some music for us. The predominantly blue, so the the say if it was a background of blue, let's put the whole kind of blue, cobalt, light blue, I would say a royal blue.

Royal can be tackled. Then they're say if we're going to just slice it in half diagonally from bottom left corner to the top right corner. There is a white kind of star slash sun that sits on the left hand side, make up that triangle. Then how thick is the slash from bottom left to top right? My lord. It is a slash that fans out and there's an orange a slash of increasing thickness yes and it is an orange and orange like the guitarist from Guns and Roses as he gets older and fatter an orange and white stripe makes up the slash yes and then there is a blue triangle in the bottom right. Aha, so a lot of the blue triangles. So, the slash is orange and white, which creates two blue triangles, a white star. To our sauce list.

Sits on the left-hand side. Just give you two right-angle triangles. I know, it could be an idea. It sounds familiar. I'm not sure it's a major nation. Oh, no. Well, there are me look small, my lord, but we should welcome the men if they are friends of ours. I'll take you so I can identify every flame. So we've gone harder.

Tava? Okay. I'm going to say, there's a cave bird out. Let's open it. Oh no, we're going to kill Slothis! They're killing us! Barry! You goose is not came for me! Who of course we loved!

It was the Marshall Islands Mallorch. I haven't been to Marshall Islands. Marshall Islands. Not the first time. My self and my friends have been slaughtered by the martial islands. Perhaps it's a fun story I could put in the show notes. The martial islands. Just off the coast doing these great British waters.

Holler for a martial island. No, they're near the Virgin Islands. Oceanic kind of region. Yeah, sort of quite very, very watery. I'd never... Is it... I know the capital. What is the capital? Duro. For no...

For no coin. He gets a token of no value. Because you have impressive... That was impressive. That was so impressive. I can't believe he's got the capital of martial arts. I don't even know martial arts existed. Well, you don't know every island, mate.

You're not a seafaring warlord. Yeah, but it's a country. Yeah, but I mean, there's two hundred. I could probably give you five countries you wouldn't. No, no, no, no. Okay. Well, I'd have to do it. But I mean, if I gave you the list of all the, okay,

I mean, I bet you, I bet you're harrykky five countries right now you would have no idea existed. Give me some skill ones. Guyana. Oh no, no, go on. Yeah, yeah. Well, Jones town.

Okay, yeah, yeah. All right, my, my do Jones town Okay, yeah, all right my my my my my don't drives a tick one You teeth dad does drive that's where good tick was so because we've all got impressive Give him some give him some tricky one For two tokens of no value is this is cura body. He's never ever that sounds like a bread. I'll never not roll a cura body. That's a fancy. To all care about. Give him one more. Give him one more. Got him on the right. Oh, Eastern Sahara. Oh, it's just west of Sahara. Oh, it's actually west of Sahara. It's actually West of Sahara.

It's the Haras. The Zoracin Sahara. He got it! One to four. You look like a damn fool, Andy. I wish I had the camera's around and he's like, you get your face. You're so silly. You should. You were, you absolutely should,

because you were about to book flights. You were about to look like the biggest goose flights and it's had on the phone all day. And that gets you two tokens of no value. Thank you, Lord Unhoused. Well done. All right. All right.

Hey, you gave Jack and I an assignment today. Give me a marketing challenge because I was reminiscing about how on last week's show during the game of names, you guys were both tasked with the job of coming up with an original shop name for a chicken store. This is what happened. Chicken's, as in public chickens. Chicken store. It's a chicken store. This is what happened. Chicken. As in, probably chicken.

Chicken store. It's a chicken store. Yep, we got one. Okay. Whole lot of chickens. That's nice. A whole lot more chicken. I'm going to allow it.

I hope you're in the same food. Okay. One store is a whole lot of chickens. You mentioned all in the bed. You see. My next thing is the ape out first. So what an amazing, amazing genesis, amazing insight into that particular shopping center there and that food court in the hotly contested chicken lunch customer. On one side of the food court you got a whole lot of chickens who claims to be the result

of the best according to Jack. Your story and he is whole lot more chickens who actually claims to have come out first. So I said look, I'm fascinated by the rivalry between these two stores. I'd like to have come out first. So I said look I'm fascinated by the rivalry between these two stores. I'd like to know more about the what an amazing snapshot of the economy and of capitalism really and the race to get that chicken customer. Could you both please make a heads for today's show advertising for Jack, a whole lot of chickens and stating your like you're drawing your line in the sand and Andy for yourself a whole lot of chickens, and stating your, like, drawing your line in the sand, and Andy, for yourself, a whole lot more chickens,

your company, that you claim you made independently without any knowledge. I didn't, I didn't. With no knowledge. I do know that I believe you. No knowledge that Jack's store. All the chickens. Existence, not 30 meters away, I'm the other side.

Could we go first, Jack. Can we go first? I will go first, because I actually addressed that claim that you say that you didn't know about our store in my ad. You ready to go? Let's just be surprised. Despite what you may hear from one of our direct competitors, they're having a lot of chickens concept. Again, right here at your favorite chicken supplier,

whole lot of chickens. Any establishments that have a name that chickens concept, get right here at your favorite chicken supplier, whole lot of chickens. Any establishments that have a name that is conceptually similar to whole lot of chickens, who claim to have more chickens, are simply being untruthful. We are whole lot of chickens, and the thing is, I think we actually have more chickens than the store, a whole lot more chickens. Look, I hate to use their name, but it's true. Whole lot more chickens is a whole lot of nonsense, and not a whole lot of chickens, but we are a whole lot of chickens.

The original and the best and the first. Whole lot of chickens! Okay, I'm going to get you some rapid fire points on points off. Yeah. Points on for the jingle, catchy. Points off for frequent use of competitor name and when you decided to make a joke out of the concept you actually took the piss out of your name not your competitors name you said all nonsense which is the clearest clearest cousin of that joke is actually a whole lot of chickens you should have said a whole lot

more nonsense if you wanted to tease your competitors name. I'm left as a customer, as a potential customer. I also feel that I was a tad defensive. I would have liked to know a little bit more about what you do still, rough them. We do chickens. Yeah, but I would have liked to hear about some of your juicy chicken.

I would have liked to hear about maybe some specials or how convenient it is to stop by and enjoy a bit of chicken Now I don't know what Ando's ad is maybe he doesn't cover that ground too But I'll say this if Ando has any product benefit in his ad He's gonna race forward on that as a hungry chicken consumer. That's what I'm gonna hear all I'd I mean if we'd seen that ad We wouldn't even bother going out with a knife You ever tired of the house, but wouldn't even bother going out with an ad. You have to do it for them. You have to have to stay out. But you haven't seen it. We'd already got an agency involved and they'd

come back with this concept. Well all I can see is that your ad's over a minute so you're going to be paying premium for ad space. Well I got more for chickens, more for ads so just they're a better finance operation. Some brands have an undeniable prestige. Stella Artoir established in 1366. Twining's tea found it in 1706. And a whole lot more chickens that has been around since 1802. I remember my great grandfather who removed Australia in the early 1800s. since 1802. I remember my great grandfather who

moved to Australia in the early 1800s, just being overwhelmed with how perfectly conditions were for breeding chickens. He turned to his wife and my great grandma, and said, gosh, Doris, I think we're going to get a whole lot more chickens. And an empire was born. Now seven generations have passed with the

good worlds delivering the very best chicken a food court can offer. Look, other shops will come and go. Some people will try and steal our name, but people know that our name comes in the word to my great great great great great great grandfather said. That's why the shop title is in quotation marks. Oh, long more chickens. The best rotating bird. You've got granddaddy's word. Oh, come on. People see you right through that selfie.

Oh, no. I have learned a lot. I did not know the shop's name was in quotation marks. It's a cat phrase, not a title. Exactly. Oh, a lot more genes. And you told me about a GC rotating bird. Yeah.

You told me about generations of quality, which some of you I care about as a potential chicken customer. I wanted another of my chickens being handed by the best in the business, and not just someone that learned two minutes ago because the shop opened up, but someone that's been taught for generations had to handle a bird, had a care for it, had to make it juicy and delicious.

But you didn't believe, I hope, that semi-ethnic man on the street that Andy had as part of his ad. It just sounded like a regular guy to food pro. To me, it sounded like a store manager. And I liked the personal touch of getting the family on getting the store on. I mean, I think it's a no brain, Jack. I recommend you shut up, shot. APPLAUSE Hey, this has been the big one. I mean, the World Cup was huge, but mainly it was an order for the main course, which was the challenge between you and I as to who had the bigger bladder.

Oh, there's no reason this couldn't have been a half-time show at the World Cup for every play, but they didn't, I don't want to say Lazy, but I mean, I guess they thought the soccer was enough. This came from me as a crusade to ride a wrong that I felt happened, or nearly 10 years ago, where at home you beat me in a flow-off. That's not a wrong, that's just a loss. There's a loss. And I want redemption.

I mean, that's going to happen in life. You know, you're going to have wins and losses. Now, I wanted to keep my crown as having, I believe we've been calling it the most effective. I think you could get superior, it was superior penis. And now I thought there's a whole lot of other tests we need to be able to use that word.

Well, you keep testing me. And so far, there'd been one test, one pass. I did not want to see the score even up at one all. However, at some point, you can't just keep saying you're the champion and still clearly being in the game. If a contender comes up, you have to meet him head on. So you suggested, look, come over to my house on the weekend. I didn't want to take it on a flow because I know you're still superior there. Volume, volume was an area that you thought I might be able

to challenge you. This could be a fair challenge. Now I've got no idea about volume. Maybe the reverse did, but the spirit of competition was too intoxicating. So what it is, as you're again in here, because we know that the flow, I mean, we could have done it with Diet Cokes.

We could have done it with it in water. We could have to do it after a large day. Well, we just thought let's play in conditions we're used to. You'd been at the footy, like it was a day of drinking and we were gonna watch the football at your place that night, we thought, look, prime conditions for us to be able to do this. I am just gonna mention again quickly,

I'm not sure if this is in the audio, but the way we chose to measure it was having a bucket on a digital scale. All right, so you get to see that. It's like weight of... It's all it gets. Basically saying one gram equal is one mil. And it's like, well, you're good luck to you.

Okay. Okay. 10 PM, the bathroom at my house. I've been at the footy all afternoon drinking beer. A couple of hours earlier, I'd arrived at Annie's from the pub where I had been drinking beer all afternoon watching the football, and now it was time to watch the second game and for the beers to continue. And perhaps because of all those beers, we were quite competitive about who was busting to go the most.

The game's over. Now, I want to go on half time. This is the first time we've talked about this. I'm doing the dance. If this was my son doing what I'm doing now, if my dad was here and I was four years old, he'd be going, thinking he'd have a wee mate. And I'd go, no I don't, if I was four, and he'd go, just do it just in case we. Because I'm doing the same dance, my son does before we go for a long drive, and I know I've got to make him do a wee. You'll ride it to start of the game.

I'm going to do a wee mate. does before we go for a long drive. And I know, I've got to make him do a wee. You ride it to start of the game. I stupidly had a wee before the game. You don't know, I did. I forgot we were doing this. I've come over with my brother-in-law, who's another Andy. I did the unthinkable. I broke the seal.

I broke the seal, because we were at the pub for a little while before we came over. We haven't caught up for a few weeks and we're having a little bit of brother and lord arm. I broke the seal. I went twice before I realised what I was doing. So I've come into the game with a broken seal. Now I'm not trying to make excuses, but I've got a broken seal. I've been playing on a broken seal tonight.

And I know the history books are just going to show one winner. But I want the fans that we hear that saw this to know I played on a broken seal. I've played on a broken seal. Okay, well... A shattered seal. It's in shreds. It's in absolute shreds. And if I'd remembered properly we were doing this tonight, I would have come in with a rock hard seal.

And I haven't. Well, before, before the crowd starts feeling any sort of kind of feelings for you and like sorrow for you. I broke the seal at three o'clock this afternoon. I went to the footy with my family and my team played terribly again. And we had to go to the pub half way through the game. So you know what I've got? You know how I am downstairs.

Seal the morning after Hardy Clume said, sorry mate, it's not working. I'm a broken seal. My seal was broken. Your seal made your seal. It's intense because you do your two things better. You call this challenge. My seal was broken so long ago that historians can't remember it exactly the time. So they're trying to work it out, but there's people there trying to work out how it happened. We took my sealed antics broad show,

they would look at it and go, oh, maybe one's a bottle of time, but I can't even, this is barely fragments. Frigments, this thing. Do I? It's nothing. It's completely shattered. I can't.

Give you anything to this. Anyway, let's do it. I actually want to keep enjoying myself and I've been, I hated the last half hour of the game. I need one more beer for me. Yeah, great, that's fine. I mean, you're already okay, good. I can't, I can't hold it anymore.

And, you know, but were you hanging around? I'm like, it's getting late. I'm, I want to do this. So I can get me to enjoying my night. Okay, because I've been hating it. I can't focus out there. We had decided to test her the bigger volume

by peeing into a bucket on a set of scales. The weight of the bucket, roughly equivalent to mills, would determine the winner. And because I had broken the seal, I went first. Good luck mate. I'll just sit back. Get it all in. I'll keep that.

It's funny if it's washed out. It's counting up. Okay, that's a tiny bit scratched out. It's counting up really quickly. It's passatronogram mark. We know mills of grams pretty much 300. What is that? 400. It's not as small as we have it in our business. It's really amazing.

We have it in our business. 500. I'm going to try and squeeze as much as I possibly can, but it... Yeah, it's not nothing. I wouldn't like it. Yeah, I can stop nothing. Um... I wouldn't have thought. No, I'm 100. Sorry!

I'm trying to push everything out! I get you a later! I get you a later! Oh, and I can't be disappointed with later. I can't be disappointed. And it's a good round number. It smells... It smells like... It smells like... It being honest. Well done that is 1041.

1041 grams. Yep. I'm a little nervous, me. Well it's in this game. That's not going to be a world record party. It's going to be a world record party. It's going to be a world record party. It's going to be a world record party. It's going to be a world record party. It's going to be a world record party. It's going to be a world record party. It's going to be a world record party.

It's going to be a world record party. It's going to be a world record party. It's going to be a world record party. yeah, I'm playing at a broken seat. 20 minutes later, having snuck in another beer just to top up the tank, it was time to give Hamish a pancing with my pants down. Okay, well, we've stepped in back into the Ureiner Drome. Um, you... I knew it was after what you did. Well, you did it with you actually, because we never put a time limit on this match.

You could have... I mean, you could what you did. Well you did it with you actually because we never put a time limit on this match. You could have... I mean you could just hold and hold and hold and hold. Don't want to take it by watch. What? What is he giving me? Watch, watch back at you anticipating. You're taking it by watch. Watch of what?

Not waterproof, is it? That goes... Everyone put your ponjas on and he's going to piss. Take it by watch off. Well's gonna piss! Thank you for watching off. Well, good luck. Thank you, mate. And he's aim is true and fair. He's hit its traitor.

And he's raised past the first 100 grams. Piece of piss, as they say. Rolling through the 200s. 300s. He's settling into a good rhythm here. 400. Now we begin to get into the gut. There was racing, it's easy to confidence stream is, your e-thru is really opening up and we're feeling the force of what this young man can do, 650 we now pass with breeze, 700. Will he piss forever? That's what the crowd's thinking

What is fast is here with the sandwich 800 but he's slow and steady He's getting the job down he's showing no signs of slowing down He hasn't fired yet, which means he's still got along the tank He's still got a big speaking He's slowing down, I don't know where it ain't 90 He's stuck to dribbles I'm 92 He's slowing down, I don't know where they're hiding. He's stuck to dribbles. Ah!

I'm not into him! He's his always got. Are we all done? Are we all clear? As, Amish, on a broken seal, what is said this challenge in the Royal House? They can be done down the Amish House. The most useful or highest utility

penis of the two, other than a two from two, the pipes they're calling our Andy boy, you cannot think Danish's pipes for flow, for volume, don't make me do any more penis challenges. How many times must I beat you? As they say in the T-shirt industry, big **** is back in town. What I'm about to say, I mean with the greatest respect, but what you've just produced is literally a piss poor effort.

It is what it is. It is. And I'll just also, it showed great sportsmanship to give me a high five before I'd wash my hands. Sure. Don't enjoy my stats, enjoy my stats. You may not enjoy my, due to a ceremony that you are at, my marriage, you may not enjoy my pace. It is for me and those I choose only and only those I choose to enjoy it. And I do and I do not choose you. But enjoy my stats and thank you for having me.

Oh, we've been a get back to it. I wonder what people think we're doing in here. This thing back to that now. We clearly had a good day. Are you impressed Jack? You should be. Millennial Club. Millennial Club.

Yeah, well done. Well, I mean, have you ever seen a man? We out more than a killer. I wouldn't have thought you would have. I probably might have seen it, but not measured. That's it. So this is... I'm coming.

That's it. It's because I came on with that. Did you know what we just put in? This is... It's hard to come on. No, it's not. It's because I can't come on with that. You know what we just put in? Sorry. Hey, it's always fun when you see a known person in the wild. Right, Jack. Yeah, we're still waiting for people to have sightings of Jack in the wild

and write in detailed. What's he doing? Don't approach him. Don't spook him. Yes, because then you won't be observing natural behaviour. I observed someone famous during the week. How'd you get? In an airline lounge. Yep. Ex-Australian captain in the cricket, Alan Borda. Well done.

And I thought excellent Pokemon to collect. Through my observations, I've turned it into a new game. Border, border, border in the court. I'll do it. No, you're not allowed me. Hey, you're really good. I think we might be going for an Allen border security joke because I was in the airport.

Yes. I like border in the court. Yes. We should absolutely, we don't have a judge's duty in Australia. We've been crying out for one. And it should be Ellen Bauder. Bauder in the court. It would have been nice. And he should, instead of saying someone's guilty, someone's out. He raises the finger and goes, I'm sorry. I rule that a whole lot more chickens was first checked around. So, here are the questions and I'm going to ask of both of you and whoever's closest will get a point.

Sorry is this about Alan Borda? Yeah, not about what he was up to. Yeah and body's up to. When is Alan Borda like to sit in the lounge? Oh, alright. Is he over by the window so he can watch the planes? Does he tuck himself away? So he could make a business call with a comfy lounge chair or is he next to the partition

wall on the walkway but would give him a better access to the buffet? Where does Ellen board us? Is that a multiple choice question or is that just some color that you put on? I don't know, I thought you might just be giving color to the kind of places he could be. So is the answer in there? I'm going to say yes, then. I understand what he's saying, Jack. I should absolutely clean up on this,

because Jack is not a member of Lanzar. LAUGHTER So I still understand the concept of that. I don't think you would, though. So I certainly understand the concept of that. I don't think you would though. So I certainly got more experience having a shrodden in the footsteps of greats like Alan Border at the lounge, near the Cuscus salad. Do I want another bit?

Do the jerky. I can now go to the gook to me. I have no idea what you're doing. Would they still have some yoghurt from breakfast? I'm aware of the lounge jack and the lounge probably a place that you fear. Plus you don't know heaps about cricket. Well, don't fear the lounge just because I'm not a member. Jack, would you like to go first?

I'll say he's watching the planes at the window. It won't be bad. Okay. I'm gonna say, this might seem like a weird question, but if I was standing, if the buffet was a cricket pitch, where in relation to the pitch,

because he did like to feel, he was a very good fielder at Mid-On, is he sitting at Mid-On to the buffet? The ejection, Mid-off he was sitting Mid-off. It would have been, or? He was sitting at Mid-Off to the buffet. Objection, that's more information than the first guess I had. I was just talking about cricket. I think he was tucked against a wall to make a business call.

He's right. Well, he's tucked in a knuckle. He wasn't making business call. He was just confused at two, but he was against the partition wall on the walkway. So he could look at the buffet. Yeah. Like he would always stare at the batsman when he filled it.

He didn't meet on. It was a morning. What did Alan Bordard choose for breakfast from the buffet? Business or corner sandwich? Quentus business. Good luck Jack. Well I went first last time you you kick yourself. I thought you mean you went first class I was a little failed. What's Alan having now? What is Alan Borda having? What is Alan Borda having for breakfast these days? He would be in his little 60s.

Cholesterol might be a concern. They do have boiled eggs there. I don't know if he'd shell three boiled eggs and nothing else. I'm going to say he went for a vegetable juice. And if not a fruit salad I might be one of the potted birch amus leaves and a little treat one of the smaller pastry items. Jacko? Serial.

Oh, who am I going to give it to? He just had a humble piece of toast with veggie moth on it. I'll take it. No. Oh, we've locked it one all. As is the dance, I'm not having the buttons. I would give that to Jack, and I would also give a point to Alan. For being not only a great Australian, but continuing to eat an Australian breakfast long after he's served his duty to his country. So it's a three-way tie.

So why is one all- Look up. Ellen bought a set and played an iPhone game. Get out. Which surprised me. Yeah. As I hovered behind him. I was very confident because he was engrossed in a iPhone game.

Yes. Could have got right up behind him. I reckon enough to sit his neck. Could have got right up behind by record enough to see if he's... Could have stolen his moustache. I don't think he has any more. Don't say that. Someone's already stolen.

Are you sure that was Ellen Boyer? Yeah, don't think, are you sure? He was. Sure, I don't think Ellen Boyd has a moustache. Are you sure you didn't just see an old man with no moustache? No, I don't think he's had for a while. He hasn't had a moustache. Someone's stolen with a long time ago.

I am thinking of him winning the ashes. Not him in current days. While he was in grossed at iPhone game, or maybe a different game, someone's still he's missed out. This mustache is a long ago. What category of iPhone game does Alan Bauder play?

Current cricket commentator, X Australian grade. Oh, I was category. You know that category, I mean. I feel like if anyone who gets addicted to phone games, it's you. Puzzle. Jacko? I mean, that's a safe bet because like,

Joel, you know, I can't seem playing Clash of the type. I was going to go guard the fort type game. Okay. Okay, he was playing Sadooku. Puzzle! Puzzle! Puzzle! Puzzle! And Hamish wins this week. 212121211 of No Your Allens.

What I say this week, doubt would be playing it again? Although Alan the Water Must Be Gunnard, he lost the game based on him. We'll see you next week, everyone. We'll see you next week, everyone. catch up or contribute at www.hamishanandhi.com