Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2018 Ep 31

Episode Date: September 26, 2018

1. Lil Scrappy 2. Bec public transport prank3. Battle for chicken supremacy – merch designs4. Merch designs side note5. Special Skills speed round6. Louis the Bog Conjuror

A list-snap production. Activate your internet. Because the Haymission and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. Suilad, Suilad, Suilad. Fellas, how are we all? Very good, Officer, nothing to see here. That's how an officer would say hello, hello, hello, in Elvish Tung if you were saying

on Middle Earth or what Hamish says to his mates, Doug and Trevor, when he goes laughing of a weekend, which is short for live action roleplay, which Hamish says to his mates, Doug and Trevor, when he goes laughing, of a weekend. Which is short for live action roleplay. I would say, he always explains to me, Howdy, I'm an Ork. I would never speak Elven, they'll cut my tongue out. Although, as we all know, Ork's have the toughest tongue in the land, you would need it,

Dragon Fire, they'll cut my tongue out. And you cannot cast Dragon Spide, Jack, because I put the cloak of Harzbad on you, which stops you from casting a spell for four rounds. Until you pull out the dildo with Evergrande. I don't see much. But that is how they use to do it. That is how they use to do it.

Back in the day. Back in the day. That's a solid, emerald piece. Very rare. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. in the Washington State Forest in America. Get back to number one. Let's post it as a flashback.

We should post that since we... Let's put it up. There's a flashback. We'll put it up at Facebook and Instagram this week because when we went, when you loosely would be people casting spills each other, but we didn't really ever see Jack.

The takeaway from that weekend wasn't the amazing for us. That day that Jack was so sneered so much at the laper. Exactly. I've just never seen Jack. We always regarded as a gentle, nice guy. Until he giggled at a guy wanting to go to the toilet at all. It was really now when we heard that he was a bully this year. It all made sense because we thought back to that lapping weekend where you really behave like a bully Jack. He was sneering at who you thought were underlings to you Mettling was a guy dressed as a cat

He was the sheriff saying a baby and there was a guy in a full suit of our with it He clearly hated but he spent thousands of dollars. I didn't he couldn't walk around He was itchy. He was hot. I kept jabbing into it. I liked me a cat I think I was good. I was good. I was a deal He tried to he tried to have the execute It's you know, he did leave the execution I was a guy. He tried to have me execute it. I think he did leave the execution. I think the execution gets you.

After I killed the imagined bird. Stormbird, anyway, we'll put it up. We'll put it up, but it was what an adventure it was. We all have fond memories of people firing arrows with small bean bags on the end of the matters. Essentially, just making up any spell they wanted to. Yelling out thunder, thunder clap, your dead. And then when we yelled out nuclear blasts,

they were like, what the hell's on the hip and when you can't do that? You can't do that. You're the lowest of the low. And then when you're clearing nuclear explosions, you're literally there to get killed. We were there. We were with Cannon fodder.

It was the worst. It was the worst. Anyway, I have. What have we got first? I think I am massive. I'm expected lapping these. Shout out to all the lup am massive. I'm expected to be laughing. Shout out to all the LARPs though. And we love them.

We love them. I understand it's a lot of fun once you get into it. We just was so rushed to this time. We rushed that day. And also, and one thing I couldn't get over was the fact that once we did get into the thick of the LARPing and essentially allowed to just roam the world and do it you want in the tavern, you wanted an ale, I got a blue power, right?

And he said no, it could have a real ale. And they all said no, we're all 20, yeah, under 21 in America. But you don't drink, you couldn't have a lapping, we can replenish the electrolytes. But we can't have a real ale. We can kill someone. We can't have a real ale. We can kill someone. We can't have a beer.

Hey, let's start things off on a celebrity note. Oh, and the week's gone by and I have been using a service I found in an American website where you can pay $mivel. Selling the top dollar. You can't pay. Actually, almost bottom dollar.

I've done bottom dollar. Bottom dollar to get celebrities Top dollar, not that. Actually, almost bottom dollar. Top dollar, bottom dollar. To get celebrities be they from reality shows, or we had of course Donald Young, the world's 139th ranked 10th player, to a shout out to Gettys' house going. You can pay in the region of $25, $35 to get a celebrity to do a message for you.

How is the house going just quickly? Did Donald Young help you? Uh, but it's still a little bit neglected at the moment. We're here for a while. It's an outtellers themed. I've pulled over the house and we put a Santa card in. It's going well. Should be done by Christmas.

Oh, honestly, give us a finished date. Yeah, next Christmas 2019, we should, I'll have you guys all around. Oh my God. A year and a half. No, no, it should should be well that's giving me a lot of leeway What's wrong? It was positive giving you so everybody gives you some three years of leeway Wow Wow And it's gonna look like I'm just a regular house like if you had some wild design you're like, oh, yeah

This took four years you got a terrible situation ahead of you Jack because it's gonna be It'd be is good. it should be as good as the worst on the block I'm gonna say it makes it sound like absolute assholes but I'm gonna have to say it it's gonna be nowhere near as good as me and any which is wrong I know I'm only saying because ours were built by professional builders. Why does this book guys become? I asked this book guys because it's true. It's true. It's unfortunate but it's true because ours were built by professional builders.

I'm not a contestant. You guys have nice houses. You actually have lovely houses. That's the one I need, I don't need this. Let's go to the next. But that's the toughest thing for you, but you deserve the most food I've said to me, is because you build it with your bare hands, but that's what's going to be hard for you. When you show us the house,

we're going to automatically go on that house. We're ever recently seen one of those. Oh my. Well, maybe I won't have you around for Christmas. I probably lost my invite. We're still very, very proud. Just as Donald Young said the other week. Hurry up.

And we'll wait on one final celebrity to do a video for you. Remember I said to you last week, I just had one hook in the water. We got your favorite reality stuff. Oh, yeah, the rapper. Kelly Bence, I'm in a little scrappy. Little scrappy. I'd lost hope hook in the water. We got your favorite reality stuff. Oh, yeah, the rapper. Kelly Bing's time and little scrappy. Little scrappy. I'd lost hope that little scrappy.

Because the way this website works is you go, look, I'll pay the 25 bucks. You get 250. Do we have a little scrappy song? Is anyone? Oh, yeah, yep. What's his best hit? Oh, God, it's scrapping around.

Scrapper, uh, scrapper, Lepidding Dong. I hate Bing's scrappy. I'll never be Bing's scrappy. Okay, no idea. No. Lian Low was one of his. Okay. You don't know.

I don't know. But no, little scrappy, he's working on a new album. And that's what I'm most excited about. But because you get 250 characters, you write a message to the person saying, I want you to make this video please, my friend, include these notes. Here's the personalized touch.

That's a hotline of the site. And I thought I'd- I thought I'd- I thought I'd- I thought I'd pushed it a bit too far for little scrappy. Because I'll give you the message first before I give you the scenario I gave little scrappy before I play it.

Because I think you need to know the context before I play your video. I said, look, hell scrappy, Can you make a video for my friend Andy? I was around, my friend Andy's really into wine and I was around at Andy's house and we were watching the tennis. And I accidentally drank a thousand dollar bottle of wine and I can't pay him back. Could you make a video to get me out of this vehicle? They're in brackets. I said, but I did three years ago. I did donate a kidney to his brother. So I am, I should be in his good books, right? Well, scrappy. No. And I thought I've pushed it too far. That's just silly.

Yeah. No, little scrappy candy. Hey, man, what's happening? What's happening, man? Andy, this your boy little screws in the A.K. A little scrappy A.A.P.A. The Prince. You feel me? Yeah. Man, listen, bro. Hamish, dumb drum. A thousand dollar bottle wine that you own, bro. And he really is definitely sorry for doing that. He just got a little lost, little, little lit. You know what I'm saying? It was hard to come down, man.

And he was supporting you when he was doing it was just trying to you know watch your tennis game get a little tips you know turn up but that's how it go man so this your payment you know saying me doing this this for you I mean your man donated a kidney you know I'm saying like to your real other you know I'm saying three years ago you know I'm saying so that man is he should be okay with you know I'm saying and years ago, you know what I'm saying? So it matters, it should be okay with you. You know what I'm saying? And he want to say he love you, man. You know what I'm saying?

And I ain't never love coming from the script and I ain't. You got a man of chance. Give a lot of chance. Well, a lot of the time I don't know what you're saying. Little scabby, when you are saying to me, you know what I'm saying? No, you sound like you've drunk about $1,000. Actually 1,000 bottles of wine before you've done it. Looking judging by the video.

Yeah, it seemed like he was actually just finishing a workshop. So it might be, he might be low blood sugar. Was there any kind of feedback that you give them? Yeah, I always write them very high. Can you write back to him that I've forgiven you? I actually just always just say you've done it again. To whoever it is. So I actually just wrote back, you're done and you're inscraping. Ha ha ha ha.

Ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Ha ha ha ha ha. Hey, this show, and you and I together have a long history of pranking my girlfriend back. We do, Tony. When the first day of going out, it was a dime a dozen.

They pranked back. It lost all the value. The prank lost so much value because it was so common. It was a classic hyperinflation prank attack. It lost all value. The prank lost so much value because it was so common. It was a classic hyperinflation prank situation. Suddenly we had to prank back one million times just to get the same amount of joy where you used to get pranking her one time. And so you deflated the market.

You did the right thing, the central prank bank took steps to intervene. And it's been a while now and and Frank Value is now back up. And you've come in today and you're excited because it seems like it's, she's ripe for the prank. Yeah, I mean, we know it's gonna be tough still given the conditions that we've got us so often,

but it's worth a try. So you're a joint, just thanks there. How we said it. Usually every friend of ours eventually develops a guard up situation. Yeah. What's amazing about Beck is it took years. every friend of ours eventually develops a guard up situation. What's amazing about Beck is it took years. Years and years of pranking before,

almost out of mercy, like watching a kid that just shouldn't be boxing. Someone stepped in and said, hey, just put your hands up here. It's your face is wide open. That's why everyone's having a go. I'm, she's too sweet. That's her super bare and her vulnerability. I hope, she's too sweet. That's her, that's her, her super bearer

and her vulnerability. I hope we get her because she ruined a prank that I was setting up for the show. How did she do that? I'd been ringing my mum throughout the week and putting on a British accent and saying that there's a call pre-connected from Andy. And would you like me to put them through?

And he'd say yes. And I go, oh, good day, mum. How you going? And she said, who's that? I've just got a concierge now. Someone who, nothing, she's like, oh, that's a nice. That's a good idea. I've got to be very positive of anything I'm doing.

And then Beck called Mum and told her that. Oh, you don't know, concierge. So I was hoping that, I was hoping to use that on the show. But anyway, so I'm happy to be pranking Beck. There we go. The situation is this, on the way came we went to the footy. On the way back she realized that her card, her transport card didn't have enough money on it,

but there was an open turn style. And I told her to come through and she was very nervous, she hates doing the wrong thing. So you said, what's the system saying, hey, if your cards, if you're out, come and have a free thing. That's true. That's why they do that. And so she, she, she, she, she took them up on the offer. Then we got to the station, we had to get off to get to our, Emma housing, she was just so worried. And there was a nuller open to her style. And she just went through

and she couldn't believe she got away with it. She was very, very nervous. So I think it'd be nice if Sarah rings as if she's from the transport authority to say that we caught her on maybe vision. I think it's a token of facial recognition in there. Everyone's scared of that these days. And say that got a video footage of her not touching on and touching off and a, and a fine um, is available to all, we're gonna be sent to her. Have you ready to go, sir?

Perfect. Ready. Good luck pranks away. Hello. Hello. Hello there. Hi, this is Elizabeth from the public transport authority. Who's speaking. Yes, Rebecca, I just had a message from you. Oh, is this Rebecca Harding of St St St in St St St? I don't live in St St anymore, no. Did you ever live in St St St? I did. Why, what is it regarding? It's regarding the vision that we have of you using the train on Saturday afternoon from a trip that you did on Southern Cross, from Southern Cross Station to Richmond Station.

Does that sound correct to you, Rebecca? Yeah. Okay, great. It actually appears that you didn't touch on and touch off, but you still did use the service. Can you confirm that that's correct? Yes, it is. Okay, unfortunately Rebecca, that's actually against the law, and there will be a $300 fine that you'll be sent out. So are you able to give me your new address? Yeah, it is. Okay, there's also another alternative that we can we can do instead of giving you the fine You can allow us to use a picture of you that we post

Saying I cheated the trains and got caught and it's not worth it Would you like to use that instead or no? I'll pay the fine. Thank you You know. Do it idiot. Do you concerned at all? Yeah, I was like, oh my god, I'm busted. I think I heard a little bit of springing step back. I think you're a vigilante who likes doing this.

I think you wanted to get caught a bit. Oh my gosh, I hate doing things that are wrong like that. And he did not say it that way. He said to me that you did it like a thrill kill. Back when did you cotton on that it was us? Um when she asked if I wanted to take use if I wanted to use my photo. Oh right So all the way to the end. Can I ask back you and Andy lived together, but you gave an address then That's not your address. You gave a mum's address. So did you not want Andy to see the farm? Oh no, Andy was hearing about this farm Is that gonna be interesting? He wouldn have let me go and top up. It would take time. No, back, the rule, the unwritten rule is if the gates open, then our party on it. I'm worried that the mic of the public transport of Victoria going to be listening and I'm

still and now I'm actually going to get a phone. Oh that's the hope happened. If you do get another call though it will be them. Yeah. I won't answer that one. I'll be mil stop pestering you and you'll get away with it. See you back up love you. Oh you're in so much trouble. Oh, it's tap on. Always tap off. Let's chat on. Always chat off. What's your name? What's your name?

What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name?

What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name?

What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? What's your name? We haven't played too much. Another rep, no doubt, coming up pretty soon. On one of the episodes where I asked you boys, going head to head, Jack and Andy,

can you come up with a great name for a chicken shop that hasn't already been taken? These were your responses. Chickens, as in public chickens. Chicken store. It's a chicken store. Yep, we got one. Okay. Whole lot of chickens. It's a chicken store. Yep, we got one. Okay.

Whole lot of chickens. That's nice. A whole lot more chicken. I'll see him. I'll see him. That's began the greatest chicken rivalry since Red Rooster, VNando's VKFC, V to a lesser extent, a port. A port. We now have on our hands a battle of chicken supremacy. Chicken supremacy. Chicken shop supremacy. Who's the biggest rooster? It's who's the biggest cock in the coop.

Yep. And it's a battle for chicken supremacy. We like to imagine, or I mean, we had on last week show the ad between against the two companies. They exist in the same food court opposite Same food court, opposite ends. Obviously, it's size of the food court, clearing it each other. Andy, as you stated last week, Holland Mortchigan says, premium real estate in the food court,

I do I detect a double front in the store? It is. Jack was waving to the loose. Jack was given a spot that the original planners of the Westfield hadn't thought would be a food and beverage, no, the spot is a storage storage facility initially intended as a storage facility or perhaps an information booth but the guys the good folk at Hololot chickens came along and said we'll make something work Jack claims he was there first.

We put that battle to bed last week. We did we did and I want to settle it by we both got the chance to submit one bit of merchandise that will go up at The hey mission Andy merchandise page. Yep. Which other piece of merch is more successful? Well the people decide will mean will will beam that chicken shop the victor This is a branding battle. This is a battle of the brands and I Think the only way to do it is to for people to actually spend money to vote with their cash to say yes. I actually do want a whole lot of chickens, pencil case, versus a whole lot more chickens. Gumboots or BMX decal.

So whatever you guys have picked, I suggested hats and t-shirts. The rules, the refine rules since last episode are one item. It's up to you. I will be pricing it. So you can't beat each other on price. This is a fair brand, battle of the brands. You remember last week that as soon as this came up, I said, I've got mine. I do remember that. I went to Straiton to work on it. Should I reveal it to you all yet? Well, I also know if I'm trying to be impartial here, but I also know if if I jack hadn't finished his, I don't think you'd done anything until this morning. I didn't start it, actually.

Until this morning. And even much like his house. He remained undone. Completely forgot about it, because you got too comfortable living in these parents' house. And even as many as 10 minutes ago, it was still putting the finishing touches on something. I don't know what he's working on, but Andrew. Let me launch into one.

As a sporting gesture, why don't you go first to give Jack a few minutes over the finishes off? I'd love to see and hear what you've come up with for you to design. Ladies and gentlemen, I have for you a strong player in the merchandise game a hat excellent choice sir a hat not like no other my design team me it's been a lot of time during the week and we've come up with this. A bowl of bowl decisions. It's a whole lot more chickens had a hat in the shape of a chicken.

How is it made? It will make this. How will we get this? It's not in the problem this week. Is it bespoke? No, there is a place in China that are willing to make Millenia a few of them. Have you actually asked? Yes. Because people are going to order these.

They're going to be waiting a long time. No, they are $66 US to buy. You're so cute. But so, justish. I think we're trying to just explain to me where you're. Let's explain what it is. Well, the brim, the brim is the only part of the hat that's not found on a chicken.

The rest of the chicken, if you can imagine, is an upside down roast chicken. It's lying on its back, the legs are at the back of the head, the wings are at the front. Just near the peak of the cap. Which kind of bit of a Roman feel, you know how they had those kind of... No, you'll think you've raced. They never wore a chicken on there. But the wings feel like... The wings look a bit like, but in real life I assume they're brown. Like the real... It's a roast chicken hat. So a whole roast chicken, which if you took a roast chicken straight

out of the rotisserie, it is kind of head shaped if you just put it on your nose. It's got to be almost actual size. So it's an actual size roast chicken and your head. It's at the spine of the chickens in the light. Yes, so you can't, it doesn't have a hole there. The spine will be removed for where we bring it. I assume it's not made out of the material. What is the material? Yeah, what is the material?

That's the thing, it's going to have to be foam padding to create the drumsticks and the wings. Is there a hatch? Shelling the middle in there somewhere. So it's not a flood. It's some of the trucker I'm wearing at the moment drumsticks and the wings. Is there a hat shell in the middle in there somewhere? So it's not a flutty. It's sort of the trucker I'm wearing. I can see a foam front. With a chicken at the top.

And then yeah, a chicken at the top. Because internally there's a hat structure. That's all I'm asking for. So it's not wobbling around. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,'s the design. Then on the underneath of the peak will be the brand, a whole lot more chickens. Really, so it's not even externally brand? No, it's not even going to be externally brand, because I think the hat is so unique.

People will know it as a whole lot more chickens hat. Yeah, Jack. I think it relies so much on how well they can manufacture that. Because you might open the box whenever it comes in six months time I remember how long it takes to make. Probably 12 months. You might open the box house garden. You could see the house garden.

Before they arrive. This looks nothing like how I think it is. And that's why that's the problem. That's the challenge I've given myself. I hope you understand it. It's a giant gamble. So what's the landed cost including shipping? It probably has 70 bucks US.

So we're probably talking retail 85. 85. Retail is double the wholesale price. Well, I'm trying to check. I'm trying to throw Andy a wishbone. Well, it was like those Von Dutch hats back in the late 90s. They were like,

well, it could be like a Chanel. Yeah, back in. Or something. Or something. You're not silly. You're paying for, well, give your like a Chanel song or something. You know, you're not silly. You're paying for it. Well, I'll give you a shock here, Jack. You're paying for a little bit more than just materials when you buy something that's Chanel.

Yes. So paying for those seats. It'll be brand and once I get them into the country at the prize, I think we have to set the price after it. I'd be wearing setting a price now. But people have to pay to order them. They will. Are we still doing this challenge this week?

I thought they were to be like, by the time we pitch this. Well people, I'll be judging you next week based off orders made. So, okay, you can't start selling this until he's seen the product, surely. Well, I thought the whole point of this was go, pitch him merch and the way we can find out if it's... That plays into my hands. I don't think people are going to buy something that they just have faith in you to produce. Yeah, because you can't buy it on spec-end.

It's like going, Elon Musk isn't going, oh, we'll see if we sell any and then we'll tell you if we're making a Tesla. Yeah, and if people put their money down, they ordered one. Well, what if, okay, okay. You say turn around to problem. Yeah, I know. So what if that, you basically ordered a miniature mascot costume. It's not just that.

It's a way of life. How many did you get after order for the $60 price point? At the moment, they haven't even discussed how many you're going to get it. They're going to start working on how they can make it. You're going to have to order them in reselled. I'm going to have to order them in reselven. I'm gonna have to order in bulk. I'll be honest with you, you're probably to cover losses and shipping.

You're probably looking at at least over $100 Australian landed. So we're probably talking for a really skinny profit margin. Yeah, you're probably looking at it. Customs fees, did you include that? What are you looking at? I'll be honest with you, so I'm putting it at retail $150.

Are you letting Australian people? Are you allowing me, Hank? I'm not letting you. Do you know that? Do you know that? Can you then, Hank? Can I ask this, because I have put a challenge on myself? Can I ask this, and then you have, boy?

Can I ask this I? Can I? Is this a mature boy? Can I see Jack's price point before I put my price point on? I'm telling you, I'm the jock guy that decides the price. Can I see Jack's price point on? What if I want to go out higher? I mean, I want to go higher. Hmm. And we're going for, we're going for, we're going for, I don't know, we're not going for units

moved. Otherwise, everyone would have just made a ruler. Yeah. So we're going for money made. Yeah. Yeah. All right, so you're just gonna hope that I'm looking you a hat Jack. I'm gonna look at your hat and go I think 12 people will buy I'm gonna price my One to beat you 12. That's what that's what that was my plan. But anyways, let's see what he's got over there. I also, I want to, I mean, I'm in a cast of ruling here. I will be the judge at the price point.

I'll take your argument into account. But I want to cut off the possibility of a whale sale. Yeah, I don't want you just making it a $10,000 hat and ringing warning and go, hey, do me a favor in next charity night. I'll buy. Yeah, okay. I'll buy a Lamborghini ride for seven round Tasmania or something. Okay, okay, okay. Let's, can we have one more week? One more week, I ask. Let's have Jack. Before we begin to, before we start

doing the leading. I would love to know there was one more week before I got in today You do one more week last week. You didn't do anything? Well Good when I spoke to you this morning Andy You actually asked me I'm like the chickens at your store, which I say cooked a perfection. That was a great burn You asked me this morning if I was happy with my design and I had forgotten to do it. So far, snowing you information has been offered. And you went, oh, and F word. You went, oh, F word.

It's that today. It's that today, yes, mate. Is that, we're doing that podcast. I thought we were doing a podcast, but we had to science questions. So, Jack, what have you done? So I hurried to think of anything that I could get a logo. I was like, I would just go inside the mind of a genius. I would just go simple, make a D-shirt, whack a logo in the front of it.

T-shirt, you got me? Yep. Okay. So I called James Fosdark, who is an Australian artist. No, no, no, let me tell you who he is. Fosd me, dead. From preparing nothing to pulling out such a big gun. No, he's actually drawn New Havenish. He does all the artwork for many Australian comedians in podcast and he also did our...

As if from a philosophy. He does wheelandesons podcast. Yeah, okay. Which he does. Alright, so that's why we take back my stuff. I guess he can post. So he's actually very good. If you've seen any wheel podcast on the dollop.

You could post-dike. What do you say? This is the call. BEEP BEEP Hello James Beak. G'day is that James Post-dike? It do you say? This is the call. BEEP BEEP Hello James speaking. G'day is that James Fosdike? It is Jack, how are you? Yeah, thanks for giving me your number over Twitter,

I appreciate that. I'm not worried. I ring you because I'm in a little bit of a pickle at the moment. Yeah. Hamish has challenged Andy and I to come up with hypothetical chicken shops. Hypothetical chicken shop.

It makes sense in context, but without giving you a long backstory as to why we came up with competing chicken shops, just know that we have competing chicken shops. Andy's got his one, I've got mine. Now, Hamish wants us to make merchandise for the chicken shops, which includes a logo for the shop, and we're going to sell the t-shirts online whoever sells more t-shirts has the better chicken shop. That's where you come in. Yep, I get you. When do you need it by?

That's the thing. I've left it to the last minute. I need it in one hour. One hour? How long do drawings usually take? It all depends on the detail and and all that kind of stuff I'm just trying to figure out a price for you like um is 150 or right 150 we got to do yeah there's not gonna be a stick figure

chicken right you're still gonna put Tom and Effidan. You should see what I can do in an hour. Stick me a chicken. I don't even know what that looks like. How do you do stick me a chicken? How do you do stick me a chicken? Has he come back with something? He has done such a good job. Hey, what's he doing now?

He's in a mating, amazing house. Now we know who he is. Yeah, he's a legend. So this will be on my t-shirt. Oh, a lot of chickens. Oh wow. It's a roasted churk wearing some sunglasses. The only problem is, because I gave him the brief over the phone,

he's written a whole lot of chicken. The store is called whole lot of chickens. I can just draw an S on the end of that. It has got the, he has, you've given him a tie. He's actually McDonald's with an ass. Okay, okay, he's a thought. He's a thought. Because your 150's coming off your tally.

That's great. That's great. That's a really good picture, too. Hold on. What about you? I've got to say, both submissions are not really what I expect. what about this we've got a uh...

uh... you just got a bit of paper you have an even put it on a t-shirt to show you what would be a t-shirt it seems to me like you want this next week we wanted this content next week and i've and it might i may have to have been laying this process What about this? What about to put this hat on a t-shirt?

And it's just said I wish I owned this hat on the top and then a whole lot more chickens underneath Then we can do it this week. Well, we can, I know, but I think we want to see that. It's still getting made. I'll still get it made. No, look, no. I think we want to see that. I can't. Give me one more week then.

One more week to just work out exactly. No, what I want you to do is finish up today and get on the blower. I was like, give me one more minute. And then next week, next episode. I'll have a rival, don't you? You actually go, guess what? I spent them six rival, don't you? You actually go guess what? Yeah, I spent them six days ago. Yeah.

And you'll do this, Jack, you won't. You probably forget to even put the S on the... Why? Where's your chicken logo going? Corner on the back? No, it's going to be the size of... Oh, it was cross the shoe box lid. A shoe box lid.

Across the front. Across the front of the tea shop. Yeah, lid. Shoe box lid. I crossed the front. I crossed the front of the T-shirt. Yeah, okay. And mine will be head size on you. Oh, no. Okay, Jack, your T-shirts are going to be $25 a pop. Okay.

Annie, your hat will be $150. That's true, yeah. And we'll be basing it next week once we have an idea of when they're landed. Orders will go open up next week. And you have an idea of when it will land. And you'll be able to say, then we're going to go it's a one week order period. Right. And then I'll, that's fair.

They won't get it within a week. No, yours might be just several months. But the orders will be taken. And then you have it, then the onus is on us to deliver the merch. That's promise and we'll have a winner be taken. Yes. And then you have it, then the onus is on us to deliver the merch. As promised, and we'll have a winner. OK, fantastic. Sorry, we're back.

Just a quick add on, quick tack on to the last segment. Just because it was a quick, a quick carry to it was a quick, I'm a bit carried away. I was a quickie. Ando was just still so telling us off here that he couldn't believe he's designed. Has it been taken? He was convinced some of the rules of the world do it. Senator was honestly didn't he, Jack? It was like, guys, I couldn't believe my luck. I was walking around with a giant chicken with a. I just thought that you would have been done. I just thought it would have been. Now, we'll put up.

We'll cover your eye quickly. Yes. We'll put up at hamishney.com to go there now, or on our socials, our pictures of your design, Jack, the Fosdike design, which is good, and the concept image of my chicken hat. They're up there, they're the else to with pieces. Australia's my expensive chicken hat, so you can get you wet your appetite. Start looking your lips, maybe you're doing a few odd jobs

to save up your money. You think you want to be the thing? Think about which one you want. You think about which one you want. Is the big question is, is a hat worth six t-shirts. Yep, that's what people've got to decide. Oh, yeah, good fun. Yeah. How do you feel about it? I'm glad you're doing it.

Yeah, that's what people've got to decide. Oh, yeah, good fun. How do you feel about it? Hey, we love the listeners of this show, the podcast, as we salute you. Tell a friend. If you like. Always tell a friend. But people write in as well.

Hey, machineeat.com, if you want to share any correspondence with us or fill out, you chance to be a more involved listener with the value of an important podcast of forms. Often we get special skills from that, but home, sometimes there's something in there that sparks our interest. Not enough to do a whole break. Possibly not to spend five or ten minutes with someone, but you want to give them the credit, you want to let them air their moment.

Or sometimes we've just got a quick question to ask a clarify and we put him in a special file Yeah, we try to get to him as often as we can bit of a speed round. Yes. Jacob a hoi Jacob Oh, I'm sure you're going terrific mate. Your email fell to my side of the fence says in your special skills. This is just one where I was like if we just can you do this once I'll be satisfied This is just one where I was like, if we just can you do this once, I'll be satisfied. So you can name every player in the NFL just from hearing their jumper number. Every player in the AFL, Jake. I reckon I could get 95%.

What team do you very for? Trey, I. Okay, who's number 18 for the demons? The demons. Oh, you test me there. I reckon. It's a Jake no Potties. Okay, milk.

Okay, number 29 for Carlton then. Number 29 for Carlton or... Let me Google that. That makes me so awesome. Olsen? Who? Can Paulton. You're Google-y.

You're so annoying. I went Olson. J.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G.G Well, well done. Congratulations. It's a round of applause, Nick. Yeah. Also, thank you, mate. That's all we need. I'm going to send you a token of no value. Yeah. Oh, man.

You're the type you're getting, Jacob. From Jacob to Josh. Josh, you there, mate? Yeah, mate. Oh, how do you? Oh, Josh. Hey, we've already missed this, but you had your mate's wedding in May.

I just got a game across this email. You got a video for the Prime Minister for that, and you're asking where the week could do a video. How do you get a video from the Prime Minister? I cornered him in the shopping center. Cornered him in the shopping center. And is it sort of like in Pac-Man, where he goes, you have cornered me, I'll do the video, but if you'd have left me one every new of us,

Gabe, I would have taken it. So, Whitney have had, I mean, you're cornering and Whitney have had his secret service type people around. Yeah, I had to be friend of a couple of them and then we sort of walked me through that, I think. He's breaking up a bit there, Josh, but... Possibly because, yeah. Constantly monitored as you call him. That's what I need to know, though. I just, I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't up a bit there Josh, but... Possibly because Azeo constantly monitors you, monitor as you call to.

I don't need to know that. Oh, that's what I call a choir team. You get a video from Turnbull. You call on him. Okay, great. No, speeding through Scott. Oh, he's Scotty. Oh, he's void.

Oh, he made. Scotty, couple of things just jumped out of me from your chorus. Bonnets, thank you for listening. Thank you for contacting the show. You write about how once you just quite simply say there's no explanation here, but you spend an entire day at home shuffling playing cards. Yeah, not my proudest moment. How long did you spend shuffling cards?

I just tried to start from school. So, Jack was really in a big trick. So, wasn't it you just one of them thoroughly shuffling? Yeah, exactly. Like how long did you spend shuffling? Oh, probably eight hours or so, but you would have done a trick in between. Yeah, a couple of tricks. Okay. Not eight hours. The shuffling says to keep morale up. Is it possible, Scott, to shuffle the cards so much you accidentally get them back in order? Yeah, I think so. I think so. Really dare.

I think you'd be a real bummer to get eight hours in a go. Hang on, I think what's a real bummer to get 8 hours in a go. I think it was his Acer Clubs 2 or Clubs 3 or Clubs 4. Clubs 4 because I love shuffle the back into order. Alright, thanks, buddy. Great stuff. Scott to Brittany, Brittany, Ahoj. Hi. Ahoj, Brittany.

Brittany, you've had more than 10 surgeries. Yeah. Cheapest. Question for you. Was it the same area that kept playing up? Oh, is it like the game, the book game operation all around the body? It's all kind of. Okay, that's all I wanted to know.

I just wondered whether if you can't really claim 10, if it's like your need is keeps playing up and you're going back in there. But you give Brittany 10. But I'm going to give you, how many different body parts, Brittany? Ah, four. That's good. That's a good spree and a half two per part. Very spree and a half. Thanks for your attention. Great stuff. Eli, I know we're going to wrap this up in and Eli, very quickly. Eli, oh, I made it. How are you?

Oh, boy, very well. How are you? Oh, good. Very good. Eli, love your email, love your correspondence. One thing stuck out to me, you wrote, I refuse to eat soup at a restaurant. What do you refuse? Absolutely ridiculous that that would be even beyond a menu at a restaurant. I don't understand why I would go out to a restaurant, pay someone to serve me flavoured water. So Ely, would you eat super home? If it's been made, yes, and if it's served up, I don't have a restaurant. Absolutely. Where can a super restaurant? Wow, you wouldn't find me there. Okay, and Ely, the final one, if the waiter comes out and says, compliments

of the chef, compliments of the chef. He's a soup. Would you still refuse? You're not paying for it? I guess it depends on how good the chef has been, whether I feel like complimenting him. Oh, no, but he's not. That's not what governments are. That's governments to the chef. No, no, no, no. He's offered me a compliment and then I compliment him by eating his food. Yeah, okay, okay, but off it would be first before I start. So you have any food? You just do a report.

You've got a chef. You've got, I have garlic bread and a salami pizza. Yeah. I got no worries. Guy comes, he comes, he comes, he goes, oh, sorry, Eli. We love what you do. We've seen you in town. Compliments of the chef. A lobster soup. No, out of principle, no.

In salt, thanks to the chef, thanks Eli. Have a good one mate. He waited, huh? And somehow I didn't include in the speed round, where we were just ringing people, was a man I'm chasing for the show. He's email came to my side of the fence. He's named Louie, or possibly Louis. You just can't tell with those ones. Yes.

I mean, I'm going to say, I'm going to say Louis. Louis. I'm going to back to Louie, actually. Lewis. Lewis. I'm going back to Louis actually. Okay. You know, it's the L.I.S. Yes. You just don't know. Louis says he's got a special skill.

And this one absolutely got my attention. And I got my attention weeks ago. So I said to Sarah, our producer, I said, let's chase up Louis. I think we'd like to, at first have a chat with Louis and ascertain his powers. She said yes, no worries. I'll teard up for the next podcast. Louis was teard up. He slipped the net. He got busy. Takes a minute. Sorry. Can't come on the show when you're recording.

If you're very busy. What's he doing? Maybe next time. Don't know. He seems to be in meetings. Okay. He gives a lot of late night start times. Like we've got. Can't do it then, mate. You know, maybe I can do it later at night. No, so we're not recording. Yeah. Can't bring everyone to the studio just to chat to you, Louis. You know, then I thought we had him for today. Yep. Felt through again. Wow. Another meeting. I think so. I think that office was in town. So he's high up somewhere. He's a busy man. And he seems to be white collar. Say it, yeah, she's nodding. High up professional. I'm in a guest in the legal profession.

Do we know how old? 25. It's done well. Straight out of you. He seems very high up in the legal profession. He's a bad partner early. That's why he's such a conundrum because Louis seems to be

Extraordinary Lee success limit his work life, but he has his secret power Or he and he jacks. I think nodding along already Is he the kind of person that has said something big? No, and now I'm made to back it up maybe maybe and I hope it's playing a dangerous game But go oh we can do 7 30 tonight and you're like he knows it I hope it's not stage fright because in my heart I know you have to believe all people are good and are telling the truth and I hope he is Because if we could get if we could witness this skill Special skill he writes

Conjuring bogs out of people I if they are constipated I possess the power to expel and exercise the fecal matter. Now he writes like a lawyer. He writes like a lawyer. No, he... I want to know how he does this. So, my initial man was we told him on the phone, he tells us, yeah, this is my way. Yeah.

Ideally, we get him in... You're not flying him to come to your bog mate. He lives quite close to you and I like it. It's a local boy. Made done good. Okay, good. I wanted to get an idea over the phone, because if it was just like, oh, mate, you know, I just say to people, I think you need to do a poo.

That's not impressive. But if there's some sort of system where we lie down and he's, and he's, if it's some sort of stomach massage, or if he plays a flute or he plays like a like a snake charmer. A boghorn. A bit of a brown path in charmer. I'd choose. He said boghorn. But if there's some way he can conjure it out. I think we all agree. In the name of science, we'd love to know about that on this show. My appeal is to him, Louis, we're interested. We want to know what this is about. Then where haamed you want to get your constipated person? Well, it's hoping we could discuss here. Now, I can,

I could do five days of cheese. I'll put myself forth. That's great. It's like when early days at NASA they said, let's send these monkeys up and they're head of NASA, no, send me. Now they did in the end send the monkeys, but it was nice to see the head of NASA willing to go up as well. I'll do five days of cheese. Okay. If we can get him on,

and I'll step up and say, let's see what you can do. Because I think it has to be one of us to give everyone an accurate but tasteful account of what you're carrying, what he got out of you, that sort of stuff. Yeah. Unless to anyone else in the room wants to step up

and do five days of games. No, no, I'm fine with that. Would you take any medication? Can you take something to constipate you? I suppose you can take painkillers and stuff, don't you? Yep, doesn't code in constipation. And you've also... You can add in to leave your notes at the top.

What about just... Gen when you're not... Like, turd toughness when you're not sick. You take them when you're sick.. Like you take them when you see. Oh, a modium. Yeah. Like to... Yeah, that's right.

Diarrhea medication must be thickening it somehow. So if you start for a base lip and then... I'm thinking your double-standard, Zanda. First you said boghorn. Then I said, then I said, I said around snake charmer. And you turn your nose out of that. You just said turd toughness.

Everyone was all right with that. Then Jack goes, it's thickening it. And you scrunch your nose out of that. You just said turn toughness. Everyone was all right with that. Then Jack goes, it's thickness it, and you scrunch your nose up of that. No, source for the goose, source for the goose. Yeah. Roll it together. Okay. I agree with Jack, if it's a cement-like effect,

from an podium. Yeah, that was my point. And you're already rocking something quite hard. We'll make it double there. Well, I'd be full of diamonds, I think. Absolutely. Full of brown diamond. That's the goal, isn't it? That's a goal.

So, I should eat some food that will block me out, take a lot of the modium, and then let Louie, if we agree with his skill, do what he can. Are we going to just get him in straightaway? Or we're going to ring him in. Let's get him. Let's get him straight in. Like, do you want to ring him and talk to him? Or, so we ring him next week. I'm putting on a public appeal this week

if you're friends with Louis. Get him on the phone. Yep, get him on the phone. If we need to speak with him. If we need to talk to him. If we need to speak with him. If we need to talk to him. Then you go through the cheese,

cheese on Odium. Yeah, go on. Okay, fantastic. Happy with that. What a show. Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.