Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2018 Ep 32

Episode Date: October 3, 2018

1. Merch reveals2. Brett’s Simpsons special skill3. International Phrase Book4. Best ear piercer5. Power Moves6. We chat to Louis the Bog Conjurer 

A list-snap production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. Ter-ve-ter-ve-ter-ve-everybody. Hello in Finnish. 1 Ted of it Ted of it Ted of everybody Hello in finish Oh, and that's and that's that we're gonna say about that because we've got big fish to fry We've got huge. No, not just fish to fry and oh chickens to fry no chickens to broil roast roast

I'm not here to tell you how to run your chicken store. It's not my job. My job is... Is yours Steve Fry or is it? No, as is roast chicken, I imagine. Yeah, I'd never gone past yours. I didn't know what you were doing over there, but I bet you knew what we were up to. I've never gone past yours. I didn't even know you were seeing a shop in Complex. Chickens back to your coupes. Now allow me as the international judge of chicken franchises.

To welcome everyone to a very historic episode of the Hamish Danny podcast, because today we will finally see, we will see what we've been waiting, I believe we can see the merchandise that we talked about on last episode. Yeah, that's quick. You got yours Jack.

I've got mine. Jack, you are in charge of your at the moment, fictional chicken shop, whole lot of chickens. On last episode you decided that you would make a T-shirt as your preferred version of merchandise and you are the CEO and founder of a whole lot more chickens. You decided you would make a chicken-shaped hat as your firm of merchandise. If you missed the episode, why are we doing merchandise? Because that is the only way to responsibly solve the debate over who's got the best chicken

shop and your jack once these merchandise items have been viewed by myself the judge and I think that's a chicken shop judge's fair. I mean put it don't put aside the fact that a whole lot of chickens is in a really poor spot in the food court right next to the toilet. Yeah we make more money each year. You haven't seen my book yet. We haven't recorded you. You haven't released your book. I've never released my book. I queried with question that, Jack, having seen the one can only discover is dismal keys outside of Holochicken's even during Russia. We put on a lot of stuff and make sure that people get through the lines quickly. I just tense the overheads way too high.

I'm in the food court a lot. And even around Christmas, I just couldn't help it notice. I didn't see a lot of hollow chickens wrappers. Can I, have you doing wrapper free Wednesday or something, but I didn't see a lot of them. We encourage people to dispose of their wrappers, responsibly? Re-sponsibly? Re-cycle?

Where they can, or put it in the trash bin, they can't? This is why I couldn't look at the books as a fair assessment of our fictional chicken chains. We needed to put to the people two items of merchandise that we're gonna be available. Now, and last week, last time I said, your item, your chicken hat was merely a sketch. Yes, I'd been working, I'd already said

that I'd been working with some distributors out of China, and the unit cost was high, high that I thought, but yeah, to describe it, what I'd sketch was a hat But a roast chicken sits where the crown would be on top of the hat And I didn't want it to be a hard-case roast chicken a lot of people wanted to be soft Look at last check. I think we were up in the 150 plus comment range on Instagram both of your merchandise

items were showcased there yep and the vibe was fairly split. I mean, if you didn't hear last episode, we have a quick recap of the prices. I was in charge of setting the retail price because this challenge is a merchandise, it's a volume based, it's a dollars based challenge. These were the prices. Jack, your T-shirts are going to be $25 a pop.

Okay. Any your hat will be $150. Now, the reason I instigated that was because I don't want to ando throwing personal money at this to win the challenge. I will not buy a single hat. No, but I didn't want you. I know the unit cost is... It was up over $100.

It wasn't a landed cost for China. not by a single hat. No, but I didn't want you. I know the unit cost is up over $100. Wasn't it landed cost for China? Yeah, it was. It was. It was. It was about $130. So I didn't want. I don't want you offering the hats for a dollar and absorbing $149 a hat so you could win this contest because I know you would. Yeah. This has to be... Well, should we do the contest on profit? That's what I was suggesting. It's like, if we just do it on a profit, I thought it was going to be total dollars. So, total dollars made.

Well, I mean, I just didn't wrangle the... I didn't negotiate the best deal for my t-shirt, so I'm not actually making a lot of profit off each set. I've got a provider that you're making no profit. No, no, no. He's trying to do. Jack, can I just ask before we go on, I think this is fair. Jenna, stand the difference between revenue and profit.

Jack. Revenue is how much you're making. No, revenues, how much is coming in? Yeah. Profit is how much you're making. Yes, yes. So I think Andy's trying to get a profit based contest. Yeah.

Because he might win before it begins. Well, I'm only making $4 per t-shirt. No, you're not. Not including shipping. I check out your numbers. No, shipping comes on top of that cost. But mine, as you heard from the grab last time, was including shipping. Is mine including shipping, Hamish?

Well, it's up to you, man. I mean, it'll mean it makes a $5.00 of a lot for the shipping. Mine, I thought my shirts were $25, 21 wholesale. Yep, that's why I'm paying. $25 online. Who's doing the, are you paying your artist anything? Yeah, I pay, well, $150 has to come out of the total earnings to go to the artist.

See, she's got a lot of stuff. This is gonna be, this is gonna come down to a lot. So I was gonna, I was gonna whack, I guess we've got to put shipping on top. I guess we've got to put shipping on top. I guess we've got to put shipping on top. So ignore the shipping costs because they'll be taken out of the account, so it's $150. Are we doing profit or are we doing revenue?

I think we're going to do revenue. Because it's disappointing for me. Because I've been negotiating hard with different Chinese manufacturers and managed to get the unit cost down to $48. We'll get it right down That's amazing. Well done. How many hats do you have to buy for that though? I've bought 20 I've only got 20 I've only got 20 I can sell because I mean let's keep it simple because otherwise

I could then we could penalize you for stock held yeah return stock It's just simply the volume of money That is made on each side of the fence, that will determine how much the public loves a whole lot more chickens because let's not forget, whilst you only probably need to sell about 5 hats and a day to win this, that's still 5 people Australia wide or internationally that are willing to spend $150 on a foam roast chicken hat. I think it's a big ask of a consumer.

Although online, there are a lot of comments going Very cryptically things like oh, you know tagging someone going man. We should have this for the tour Where did you guys go Jack on the other hand a whole lot of chickens people I have you know 25 dollars is a reasonable price for a t-shirt. And people know their T-shirt sizes online nowadays, so it's not risky to buy a T-shirt online anymore. It's not risky to buy a hat. It's no very safe.

But it is to buy funny hats. OK, you two, back in your cubes. Now back in your cubes. When will people expect to get their hat if they buy them? Are they here? They're here. They're all 20? All 20.

I know. Not're here. They're all 20. All I know. Not all. I don't remind you see on the road. But I don't need to tell you when stocks are wrong. I'll just let people know they'll get their t-shirts straight away. All right. All right. All right. All right. But I mean, they're limited by the speed of Australia post. Okay. So three business days. I guarantee 25 business days. That's good. We are heading into a time of the year though, where there are a few holidays, which might be business days. Jack, do you want to show your merchandise first? You don't need to go. No, we have here. It's a classic age-old battle between average and available and premium and exclusive. Yeah, exactly. Because the show is your t-shirt.

All right, I'm happy to go first because no surprises with a t-shirt I'll show you the back first nothing on the back No surprises What the fuck is that? Yeah, you got it black. Yes, you know what I did I was about to have the Greats the grace well. No, it's because James Fosdike who did the illustration said black t-shirts in his experience sell the best Here is the Lego a whole lot of chickens. Yep, same like we saw last step on the pizza. A lot of people saying, Jack,

that you look a bit like the chicken. Well, I mean, some of the feedback we received online. Yep, I don't look like, well, it looks like a chicken, the illustration looks like a chicken, and I don't look like a chicken, so I don't. Oh, I'm just saying, I'm just quoting the people. These shorter sides, yeah. Because last look you have got your asses in got your why aren't you in your tracks?

It's like today like I didn't cut your asses last week I love it was saying you look like mav from the wet band. It's from home alone You in your tracks, oh, I forgot Anyway, I mean, do you really want a vacation of this guy? Yeah, anyway, can, you and your tracksuit? Oh, I forgot. I can't. Anyway. I mean, do you really want a vacation off this guy? Yeah. Anyway, can we see?

This is huge. This is what everyone's been waiting for. Can we please see? Jack, I've got a little bit of music that I'd like you to play. Yep. Can I just say also, before we go on, it's an AS color t-shirt. It's a good quality. You know it's going to be a good quality.

Okay. People are familiar with the shirt. Get online now. Buy it. It's a t-shirt. It's a T-shirt. I just want to see Andy as a shark tank. Just as soon as he's done it, just as soon. Got it mate.

Got it mate, yeah, they're disposable. When I know that you can you play my music? Would everyone please welcome the founder of a whole lot more chickens. Andy Lee. Can I ask a question? I know this is very good. I couldn't trust you to give my pores, so I've got my own pores. He's played it off his phone.

I know I'm not making any of those questions during the keynote. Didn't your radio add a few weeks ago say the founder was like a guy who lived in the 1800s. Oh yeah great memory. Also founders great grandson, great grandson, from the family of the founder. Yeah, Andy Lee. Yes, not the same. Not the same. Good morning everybody. It's good to be here. And while we're excited about what we've got for you today, And while we're excited about what we've got for you today, um, here are a whole lot more chickens, not only do we pride ourselves in delivering cutting-edge rose chickens that are far more advanced in their deliciousness than any of the competition. I'm hungry.

We define ourselves by offering the very best in merchandise design. Well timed! A lot of companies. Thank you. I'm Jemaine, if you're on the company. It was that Samsung guy doing at the iPhone, Kino Cheering. That's better than our camera.

A lot of companies would just settle for, say, a print on a t-shirt. Sure, no. And just on the front. We asked our consumers what they were looking for in the merchant. You absolutely did not. In the merchandising space. And what we got back, well, it was surprising. Yeah, surprising if you're going to say that they wanted chicken on their head.

So we got to work. We got to work 24 hours a day, seven days a week. And after 189 different design alterations, we have it. Well, I'm trying to get you. A hat that doesn't just say I love chickens. It says, I love a to get you. I happen to say I love chickens. It says, I love a whole lot more chickens. And here's an extra one on my head. I present to you the best chuk-look in 2018.

There it is. It's a lot of rock. It's a rock. It's a rock. It's a rock. It jacks that's alive with a nervous man. Any way I try it on? You may. I could already... I've already got something to say about it when it's the criticism time.

The guy from Samsung. Look at... Oh yeah, we're not going to do criticism, is it the keynote? I... It's for those wondering about the material. It's the same kind of shiny, soft-tuned material you might expect to find on the outer layer of a fairground price. Say a frog or an alligator. But this is...

We need the poor honey. Come on. It's tiny. This is the kind of... poo honey. Come on. It's time. This is the kind of thing that we put it on. It's about to put it on everyone. I think of that old non-chicken hat. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! It fits, it fits go. I prefer a deeper hat. It's obviously one size fits like, there's a Velcro tab at the back. It's more, it's a kind of a brown hat

and entry level brown hat. This is where I've got to be critical, Andy. I'm trying to get it in as possible. Yeah, I'm trying to get it in as possible. So I feel it might be playing for profit. Cheap as possible, brown hat. Yep. With a, well, a covering of the chicken,

kind of a chicken condom, a roast chicken condom over the top. But it sits well. Can I say what I don't like about it? When you drew it, you drew a roast chicken that was on the head, and so the wings sort of just above the ears, and then the legs out the back, like spurting at the back of your head. You reversed the chicken.

Well, he's almost, it's like he's jumped, like he's diving into a pool. So the legs are straight up in the air, and the wind's too high. It's too high. It's not my third design. We are seeing a spillover of the unit costs, certainly. What we had, what the situation we had was,

it was going to be by the end of the year, like December, to get the design I wanted. But they could get the more vertical chicken happening straight away. This is where it's not the same as the Apple K-note. Look, it is a one megapixel camera which we know is a step back but we were going to have to wait. Mum, Scott, I thought you know you want phones now. So having seen both of them him, do you want to change the unit car? Well, I can where you know you want phones now. So having seen both of them him, yeah, do you want to change the unit cost? Well, I can't. Okay. I you knew the parameters Andy, you

knew it last week. I gave you 150 years to play with. I'm happy. I'm happy. You have, there's only 20 available. You've cash grabbed. Now, that's a good angle to go for the scarcity, but be I see a whole lot more chickens on the underside of the brim. Yes, that's nice and simple. Basically, embroidery though. Oh, it's a screen print. Yeah, it's great. It's even worse, even cheaper. The unit costs are down there. What the unfortunate thing here is because there's been so much discussion of the unit cost

is people know now that they're paying for a hat. There's got dollars profit. It's going according shipping. Yeah, and they're paying up the... Yeah, shipping... No, shipping's on top of that cost. And your time, if you were really working that hard all week, you need to put that.

So that's going to be the downside that they know in their heart, that, you know, we'll go, how much do you pay for the hat, and they go 100 bucks? Hey, we'll go, yeah, it's a lot for our... No, that's just the profit the guy made. No, actually paid 150 bucks. Hey, a Gucci bag doesn't cost $3,000 to make. Sure, it costs around $150,000.

A common argument though, for good years, they spend it all on marketing. And branding. And how good is the brand? The brand is strong. The brand is strong. The brand is strong. I think people will enjoy having one of these

limited edition. So how will this work? We open, let's, as it, the services that we've uploaded, which would be 12.01 AM Thursday morning. Yes. Open the stores. Store we open. Hamish and Andy.merch is the store.

Is that correct? Or is it merged? Merch.hamish and Andy. Merch.hamish and Andy's the new place to go for your chicken merchandise. Merch.hamish and Andy.com. Make your decision. There will be a whole lot of chickens t-shirt available

for you in a size that suits you in a color that's according to an artist the most popular on the internet. And why don't we run it for five days? Closes midnight Monday. Yep. Okay. Good luck quick. Get your merch. Hey, we love how valued and important podcasts asters, those that have gone to www.harmichnee.com decided to be more involved and filled out a little questionnaire. Well, they're our low level ex-mananda, they're the people that reach for higher heights.

They're the people that look at themselves in the mirror, often naked, from what I understand, having talked to a few of them, and scan themselves up and down and go, I can be better. Yeah. I must learn something, you know, must have a special skill that separates me from the rest of the species. Often they don't, often they've lied. And that's why we test. Sometimes they have the scanning and they catch their eyes and then they go, Tee, what'd it be quicker?

Pretending I had a special skill. We're here to test Brett today, a Hoi Brett. Hoi, boy. Happy birthday, Andy. Good evening, Brett. Thanks for your lightening the load. Off me, Hamish Blake Esquire, number one birthday, Wischer Mann, who's my throat is a little hoarse today because Andy's been making me wish it all day. Brett, in your special skills, you wrote,

can finish any Simpson's quote. Yes, that's right. Do you stand by it? Mostly. Yeah. We've been out of town, but I've heard a whole lot of things. Yeah. I've been to the exact same.

Everyone's, sorry, I did it twice when I did a party and just assumed that it would, that's good, we translate to the hundreds of thousands of Simpson's quotes. Let us ask you this, Brent. Do you have a seasonal sweet spot? I know myself. I am a seasons two to ten man. Yep. I know there are for season 34 or something like that now,

but do you have, I mean, have you watched every season of the Simpsons? I think I stepped around season 11. It just really jumped the shark. So that would be a little while. Right, so some 20 years ago. Yeah. What did you get in there? Yes,, well, we're not getting it. Yeah, so, okay.

So we're really talking that sweet spot, but like, not as early as Quigibo, but not as late as that episode they did about the Apple Store. So, yeah, that's awesome. Those are the brackets. We've chosen, we've got, we've come, and we like, okay, obviously you've said I can finish any Simpson's quote. You haven't watched two thirds of the show. But we thought we'd pick out your specified season.

I've asked Andy to do these quotes, Brett. And I know Jack hasn't seen them either because, or hasn't heard them, because I think we want to play along a little bit as well. And what's your vibe on Jack coming in for the steal, or potentially even sometimes Blakey for the steal. The two of you, the two of you, I would all big Simpson fans, Jack Durek and you'd have Hamish covered? We'd be pretty evenly matched I think.

What about, what about, let Brett go first, I reckon, of course. And we come back to the steal. Yeah, you can come in for the steal if you think correct. Brett, are you ready to go? Yeah, I'm ready. Okay. And then just to, is it like a buzzer system for us to steal and also like we're Assume we playing for Hamish and Andy coin here. We're playing for an eight coin coin a one point one coin coin coin All right, Brad good luck. How many other there's five and he's entitled to get one wrong four out of five

We'll get you an H and 8 coin, Brett. Off you go. Oh, wacky day, oh, wacky day. On a low stage, oh, cracking day. The solo boy will then start. Oh, yes. And I think I'm oh Not a good start. I think it's it's that little blonde head boy. Yeah Any change there Something something and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and

and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and and Have a listen. I'm not a good boy. Our hell of a safe, so cracking day. We'll break the backs, go shout their eyes. Very well heard. We'll pull the rise. Yeah. I can't give it to him.

Can't give it to you, Brett. You did as well as you could for a failure before it tipped over into a win. Yes. If that's anything. You haven't embarrassed yourself entirely. I think he got a bit of credit back. You ready for the next one? Yep I'm ready. It's a long quote. Good luck. Sarah, I need to know where I can get some business hammocks.

Hammocks? My goodness, what an idea. Hmm. Go. And now, Brett. You're on. No comment things, I've got for hammock stores. There's about four hammock stores, okay. Let's go to...

He's not going to get it. Let's just go to... I mean, he's not gonna get it. So let's just go to it. I mean, he, he, he's got a partial credit, have a listen. My goodness, what an idea. What did I think of that? Hamicks! Home where there's four places. There's the hammock hut, that's on third. Uh-huh.

There's hammocks or us, that's on third too. You got, put your butt there. Mm-hmm, that's on third. Yeah. Swing low, sweet chariot. Okay. Matter of fact, they're all in the same complex. It's the hammock complex down a third.

Oh, the hammock district. So you did identify there were four hammocks doors. So maybe Brett, what we're finding out is you have a comprehensive knowledge, loosely, of themes. Of themes, themes in plotlines. Well, perhaps not being able to finish every Simpson's quote. However, you still have the chance to impress us by doing something good. I'm going to give you one more. He probably

can't fail. He doesn't have a coin, but you're going to have a token of no value. You still you could play for a token of no value. Yes. As we've stated before on the podcast, absolutely no financial value, but you are welcome to give it sentimental value yourself, although we do not send them with sentimental value This is from season 8 episode 1 Hey fellow Americans, as a young boy I dreamed of being a baseball We're getting familiar with that laugh, Brett We're getting familiar with that laugh, Brett. Yeah. Oh, no.

It's the laugh that says, I enjoy the Simpsons, and I wish I knew this quote. Oh. I, Brett, never tell anyone again. Never, ever tell anyone again that you can finish any Simpsons quote. All right, all right. Round four.

No, Brett. I've got a can at save. It'sire. Alright, alright, round four. No, no, no. I thought it counted, so it's not my skill. It's not my skill. It's not my skill. At the moment, what are those? Brent, round four. Brent's choice. Just give us a simple tip and squire.

Just any quiet. Any quiet, Brent. Any quiet. Yep. Um... Oh my God. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank.

I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank.

I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play a prank. I'm going to play's a great time. Good to catch up.

Hey, we did this evening a little while back and we want to bring it back. If people haven't heard it, it's called the International Fraze book, where we look for a sign that we have in English. Are there international equivalents? Here's an example from the past. Whether you floppy off the chain, cutting the cheese or dropping your guts. In Japanese, it's H it's Hana Gamagaru. Yes, very good hand. What does that directly translate to? My nose is bent.

You have red nose, sir. You can't have your cake and eat it too. French. French. To put babo al o' le bur, it'll not zorn du bur. It just means you can't have butter and the money you would get from selling the butter. It just means you can't have butter and the money you would get from selling the butter. So the Italian version of you want your cake and you want to eat it too is you want your bottom of wine full but you want your wife drunk.

Get the picture. Get the picture. I mean it's all in the literal translation. Yes. We'll do one next episode. This is the shout out. Exactly. Yeah.

It was a one week time bomb. We want to'll do one next episode. This is the shout out exactly. Yeah, it was a one week time bomb We want to go with one. Yeah, like For arrogant people, you know like he thinks he's poo doesn't stink sure that kind of tickets on himself tickets on himself He's so far far. He's so far up his own bum that type of thing. Yeah, we will open it now Me how hello me how are you? We have no more. That's why we need to fill out Hello. Meha. Hello. Meha Ma. How are you? We have no more. That's why we need to fill out Hey Mission Andy's International

Fraize Book. Very arrogant person addition. There you go. Very arrogant person addition. It's open. Email him. Yes. We'll sit here patiently for one week.

Yep. And then read them on the next episode. And then we'll call people back. But if you're in your native tongue, if you have a saying that takes down an arrogant person, we'd love to hear or about it. What's the creation? So I'm going to check out before you ding the bell, which legally ends this segment. Might also do an upset ending next week. No, we're not doing that. No, I think we should. No, I think we should. He or we will. No, we can't stop people emailing. Well, they can email, but we won't do it next

way. I think we will. It's already working. It's upsetting you. Can I, I had one recently on holidays, it's an absurd Andy fast, it's a U versus me crossover. It's okay. I found the one spot maybe in the world where the fast and loose community maybe agrees with the neatness community. Okay. Weak zips on a suitcase. Now normally, for the first and last, I wouldn't care about anything going wrong ever. But I rely on a zip to squash all my clothes in without folding them.

So in a way, I'm forced to rely on something that you have on your team, which is a functioning zip, which is like a good trustworthy zip. I rely on that zip to help is like a good trustworthy zip. I rely on that zip to help me be sloppy in other areas. So the more we get into the division between neat and tidy and fast and loose, you do realize sometimes in the vent diagram, there is a very, very slim crossover where the fast and loose community, I suppose, do need some neat and tidy guys out there,

especially the Z-Factory to allow us to live the way we live. You're welcome. It's like a little microcosm of society, you know? Ando, my wife is looking to get something done that you're also looking to have done. Oh really? Yes, in ear piercing. Since that's your next move. Yeah, no, I'm not sure.

Have your wife never had her ears pierced? No, she's got her ears pierced, but she wants another hole, so she's weighing it up at the moment. Hi. Or just alongside. Oh, no. She's got two in one ear and one in the other. That's a current load.

Right. So I wouldn't recommend for you, you go that heavy. Which is your look like Pirates of Penn's Ants. I would just do. I think she'll even it up or Dricken's Shield. Two-month difference. Increase the lead on side. I would suggest for you, just two sleepers to start with.

I'm not getting where you're at. Just because I think too, you might, don't do a top earring too early. Grumpy Dave, L. Rodeo Boss. He was one of those guys that just had, I mean, it like a little artifact from yesterday, it didn't he? Because the whole never closes over. So you could always just see it there and he,

you know, now he was called a Harley Dave when he has a night shift You know that when we knew him is running a radio station He's in meetings about budgets and targets and you know, while expanding the reach of the station and like Oh, sorry guys. I've got a manager 600 regional stations or whatever And you know, I always look at that little hole in the year going wonder how that hole feels Thought it was on to something and and instead it ended up doing power points. Thought it was gonna be an agang at that ear.

Here's the thing, the other week she was like getting excited, looking at something online and then goes, oh, I'm gonna miss him, right? Like, what are you talking about? She goes, this is what my ear pierce, but I'm gonna miss this guy that's one of the best pierces in the world. What do you mean?

Did you know there is limit? So I'm like, what are you talking about? She goes, yeah, well he's regarded as one of the best pierces in the world. What do you mean? Did you know there is... No. So I'm like, what are you talking about? Just, yeah, well he's regarded as one of the best. He's the top. One of the best pierces. Well, I go, how do you have a band? Well, like someone does it with like a whole punch. You're like, too much, too thick.

She's like, no, no. He knows where to put it. I was like, are we talking about an elope piercing? Are we talking about, he knows where to put it to make it look the best like, starwise or for the least, for the least amount of pain or what? How could you be, it wouldn't, how could you be the best piercer in the world for just no infections? Like, isn't that the expected minimum?

Yes. It's like, oh, this person's the best window washer in the world because they don't smash the window. Like, well, they're not, that's like a given because you're not meant to do that. No, it's, from what I can gather, and I'm sure there'll be people this thing is going, yeah, that's, this is not a weird thing,

but it is too many. That's so weird. You can be that he is the best at placement. Now, I look at Zozy, you know, there's like, they're not a heap of stuff. So, the surface area there, like it's not like someone designing a golf course.

Like you go, oh well, the hole could be literally 50 meters away and there's maybe some like skill in that. Yeah. There's like one spot where you could, and so I think, can I, can I use a pen to put the mark where I think the hole would go next to the two that currently exist because she wants one where they go. All right, here I go. No EPC experience whatsoever. Complete layman. Sit as it. Man off the

street. I'll pop a hole when you're here. Right. I put it on and then there's, you really are talking about a tick tack of surface area. It's really, you can't get it too wrong. I put the hole there kind of like, you know, you've got two holes and then a bit of blank real estate on the new low. Did you go over there or did you try and bunch it up? I just landed it, you know, using about the same spacing. And like, looks, I put it there, so it looks like I'm gonna go, no, no, no,

it wouldn't put it there. Why? You're putting it, you're just going to probably just a little bit more to the right. And we're talking about the thickness of a bi-rope is where she moved it. And I was like, I think you're annoyed because you got it. And you don't need to wait for Pierre. You do not need this guy.

This guy's like on tour. And so he's like Gigi lists, CDs he's going to be in. And everyone like books in to get. How much is he charging for a piece? How much, I mean, what are the, it's like $30 to get your piece. It's not like how much could this guy charge for, you cannot miss. Like, you're either on the yellow board, you're off.

Like, I mean, I understand, I'm going, click, I'm finished, and you go, well, you didn't put it through the year. That's a big miss. It's, for my money, if you're on the yellow board, you're pretty close to the best in the world. I didn't think today that I'd find something that's a worse deal than my chicken hat. Well, it's been a while, and, eh? Let's power move.

Oh, yeah. I was inspired for us and people have been sending in some incredible ones. Howm. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. He's keeping the actual machine ticking over. And he's swannin' in here. So he'd eat a beer, friend dang, fall asleep in the corner me every day thinking, thinking, thinking.

With the coffee table book. Yep. Do we think we'll only put the ones that have gone to air? Now let's expand it. Expand it. We might need, do we need someone to come in and collate? Do we need an intern? Yeah.

We're looking at Jack. Jack. That's why I nodded when you said intern. Yes, I think we need another intern. Somebody who would love to come and work on the show, I guess there's lots of high school kids out there wanting a job in media or the radio. Would love to get a chance to get some experience behind a podcast.

Don't write in for that. We'll work it out. We'll work out to become a promised ad. Anyway, let's play on, but let's let that sound work it out. We'll work out to become, promise that. Anyway, let's play on, but let's keep let that sound the back burner. All right, I had one the other day that's personal. Yeah, personal one. Saw one in real life, okay.

Brailsing has some time to kill, wanted into a mid-range men's store, clothing store, right? Really just wanting the clock down. So I had no intention to buy, which I think is an important thing to note because I walked in and I, and when they did the standard like, how are you going today? You're like, yeah, fine.

Like I'm not, I don't want to tell you this, but no chance for sale. I'm just bored. I'm bored, I'm bored. Well, I've just got to wait 10 minutes. So I've done a very low key, fine. There's, I think there was like three other customers in the store. Shop music was on low. So it was sort of one of those ones where you're aware that everyone, you're

in a room together, but you're not acknowledging anyone and just doing some idle flicking. Door opens, quite a high energy guy walks in. Shop assistant at the standard. Hi, how are you going today, goes, hello to you and hello to everyone. Right, and then everyone turned around and it'd be like, oh hi, but then we all felt like assholes because we hadn't said hi to each other till this guy came in and it was a pretty good bound move, like, hello to everyone. Is a great way to walk into a shop because it really lets him know you're there. I like it. I also like this one from Ryan.

Hamishane.com if you've got one. So when sitting in the back seat of a car and you arrive at your destination, tell either the driver or the front passenger that the child lock is on. The driver of a front-backer will then walk, get out of the car, walk out, open the door for you. Don't acknowledge them when you leave and don't shut the door. They'll look like your first door driver. Very good. Really good.

A lot of power moves are obviously location or situation specific. Alexander here, right soon, he's collected this one from Reddit. I have seen this one also sent in, but this is originated from somewhere and I'm sure these all, we can't all get original works. We can also aggregate here. That's what our coffee table book is going to be doing. Exactly. Best way to own a guy who and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I'll go to the office and I or whatever Quickly run over off and grab it off the ground and put it on It's actually my recommendation for anyone in a fight to avoid physical conflict because we don't need it

See if you can circle the fight around all the wild trying to get close to that shirt because if you can get it on and run away, there's nothing better. And we're all four. I think fair to say at this show we're big fans of psychological warfare. Yes. And that's the thing. We don't like physical war. One of the show hates physical confrontation, psychological confrontation fantastic. I'm this one from Tom White. Yep with a Y He says I like flashing my high beams to warn other cars of police a speed camera head when they're not actually a camera It's nice to see all the drivers slowing down at my command and then

It's that thing where as kids it seems like it was bigger in the 80s and 90s and it is today But as kids we would all Like be glued to the window to try and find the camera And remember and it used to be a very obvious box. Yeah, like now. It's like bumper bar mounted and a bit more Or a guide us to the side of the road. It used to essentially be like an eski. But we still felt excited when we saw it. And then we'd always be like, do they have to ask to park on an age of strip or are they just like, I have to go do it. And then pestering dad to then go on and be doing the beans. Yeah, did you tell him? string dad to then go on and be doing the beans. Did you tell him, tell him, tell him, tell him.

And I, it's, one of those moments where, you know, often people go, you're too good to Andy. And I go, he deserves it. He's a good guy, he deserves it. And I'm going to give you another trait. But the risk of attracting that same criticism again that I'm most too generous to you, I've got a golf one. Oh, for you to use with your buddies when you're out swinging the sticks. Okay.

Now, I don't know if this is a power move or not because I'm not on the links. Yep. But tell me, tell me if you enjoy this as a power move. Okay. Golfing power move. This is from Luca. When you've hit onto the grain, that's the bit where the hole is.

But not everyone else has loudly asked, is everyone on the green? Whilst your hand is poised to take out the flag, at this point, some of them will need to respond telling you that they're not on the green yet, and this puts them off the game for the rest of the day. I quite like it. Hey, we ended the podcast last week with an interesting topic. Well, we left it again to the end of this episode for my mum specifically, if she wants to tune out. But if the whole podcast was a pack of derwent pencils, and we got all the colors of the rainbow, we've sort of, we've been ending on Brown

for the last few weeks. So Guy on the last episode, we didn't get him, we were trying to track him down, he's empty-lewie. You've been trying to track him down for a while. He's gone as fascinating special skill. If you didn't hear it last week, he claims, I'll read it, he's got his ammo here, social skill conjuring bogs out of people.

If someone's concentrated, I possess the power to expel and exercise that fecal matter, no discussion of the method, no discussion of the time frame, nothing, just an amazing skill, basically a superpower that he left us with, couldn't have been able to get in. On last week, we said, look, if you're out there, Louis, come on. I'm making this public. We're chasing you. You're often in meetings.

Yep. We need to correct the emotium discussion as well. We did say that, well, I mean, there was some chat if I remember correctly about me eating nothing but cheese for five days to be the guinea pig, the constipated guinea pig, and I was going to chow down on the whole pack of the modium because it was our understanding that it's a thickener. I think, and if you had a modium on a healthy stomach, it could constipate you.

Yeah, under the, using the science, of course, if you have it when you have diarrhea, it brings you back to normal. When eating it at normal, push you further up the solid scale. Turns out that a modium actually just slows you gut function down. Right. So not what we thought was corn flour basically.

Yeah, but it will. It's going to be good. We're going to have to have some effect, though. Wouldn't it? Mate, I'm not going to get a gut into a real back and forth online about it. People seem to know what a modium does. I can't really. We don't. it. I don't think that's worth flying this guy in or D. I don't think it's a lie. I don't think it is.

You don't think it is. We've managed to track him down after a few weeks. Louis, how are you? Good, mate. How are you? Yeah, good. Very good, Louis. First of all, thanks for joining us now.

There was a lot of conjecture about who you are and what your life is last week on the show We we deduced that you might be a lawyer because you seem very busy and sometimes late nights where you're only availability Will we close? Yeah, your deduction was actually quite accurate. I'm actually an apprentice carpenter Lawyers wood lawyers Very very accurate. Yeah, so you Wood lawyers. So very, very accurate. So you're busy on the job, you're busy on the tools and that's why things haven't been lining up for us.

And he's an apprentice, he wants to impress the boss, doesn't he taking calls during work hours, I get that. But I must point out though, you guys did cancel on the first one, so it's not just me that's being elusive. Are you sure you you not a lawyer. Hey Louis, can we get down to brass tax here? Do you want to explain your skills to us or would you like to feel the series of questions? I mean, how does it work? I think that's what everyone wants to know.

What is the methodology of conjuring a bog out of a constipated person? Okay, well, I think, firstly, you guys probably hyped this up a bit, not just giving a whole segment to their last show. I agree. And now we're doubling down. To me, it's just good money after that. Well, you, all right.

So it's always a worrying sign when someone comes in and they've got an issue with a level of hype. So you're trying to drag their expectations here. How many times, how does it work? How have you done it? Okay, so I'll start your off with how kind of bow. Which was basically, we talk about a lot of, let's call it, bog talk at work. Sure. It's a constant topic of discussion. I can imagine how I add down to work side.

It's one of the only reasons someone would leave the group. It's time to go and do a weird poo. Other than that, you're working. And you've all got to do in common, I suppose, if you're working with new people. Exactly, what are we doing? It's something we all have in common, isn't it? We like work boots with zips up the side

so you don't have to undo the laces. And we all do pits. So basically, we were talking a lot about it one day and the other apprentice had actually induced some bow movements and we sort of realised the sheer volume that we were talking about the topic actually induced this movement. We need it. I like that you're using the term induced, usually reserved for pregnancy. So, Louis, you just think... So you think it was almost like the bog equivalent of when if someone needs to go to the toilet and you start making like water noises around them, it can trick the body into thinking

time to go. Time to go. Now was this guy constipated? Because you do right. If someone's constipated, I possessed the power to exercise fetal matter. Okay, I'm not I'm gonna be truthful. He wasn't constipated on the day, but he came up with a ritual. Yeah, you came up with a ritual. Yeah, so basically it's a combination of physical elements and then what I think is would prescribe. So lots of water,

maybe dates, coffee, stuff like that. Very common. Yeah. I think then the supernatural sort of part of it comes down to getting someone lying on the bed, stomach down, and basically a fecal exorcism. Like so, what happens there? How is plastic do you need other things? No, I just said it just induces and they can slowly make their way to the toilet. In their own time. So, is it just you chatting to the bum? Do you talk to the colon, like, what do you say during this chat?

Is there chanting? It's just sort of, I suppose, it's just sort of chant, just like, I sort of get out, get out, get out. It's like, I'm really forceful. Oh dear. Louis, I'm just fairly forceful. Oh dear. Louis, I'm just going to say... I want a done dinner.

No. We don't need this day. And then, you know, how many dead-outs does it take before there's movement at the station? Oh, I mean, every person is different. And as I said, I've only conducted experiment on one person. One person who wasn't confident. So one person's sample was about 10 minutes. So it's just 10 coming next week. You want to be? You want to be? I mean tell me you don't want to see this in action. Okay, I do.

I just don't think it's broadcast worthy. But we'll broadcast it. It's totally fine. I mean, all right, here's the thing, Louis, we'll sort of time off air from when we're recording the next episode. If I'm just on a couch, will that be okay? So we don't have to bring a bed into the studio? That's fine.

You can go on the floor if you want. So what a legend. It's like Dr. Quinn Medicine woman. You can go on the floor if you want. What a legend. It's like Dr. Quinn medicine woman. He can work anywhere. Okay. You know, I like things being pretty much black and white. So what's the success for it? If I need to go and do a poo. And is Louis going to encourage you not to go beforehand? Are you like, I'll build up beforehand, Louis. I mean, I'm not asking you, I won't go beforehand

because I'm not asking you to make poo out of thin air. You're not like a turd alchemist. You have to just get one out. It can't make one out of nothing. So, I'll, So you're gonna have to feel like you want to go at the end of the chanting. That's it.

That's the difference, because you can go as well. As we say, when you're toilet training, your kids, if I feel the feeling, I'll go get to the toilet. It'll win for Louis. If he can make me feel the feeling, I can't believe it. Thanks Louis, we'll see you next week. Yeah, I'm good.

Thank you, mate. Send me through my physical requirements off air and I'll prepare accordingly. Oh, no, I love it. me through my physical requirements off air and I'll prepare accordingly. you