Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2018 Ep 39

Episode Date: November 21, 2018

1. Andy’s swearing story2. Ghillie suit gets used3. Jack’s Christmas gift4. Million Dollar Minute cheat5. Special Skill – team guessing6. Santo Cilauro7. Germ Lady

A list-snap production. Activate your internet. Because the Hey Mission and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. Hey, hey, hey, I know that language Hello and finish yes it is But also the thing a fun cop might say instead of LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL I remember Fatel, but would you? I remember they made a film version of it with, what's he got for you? Careful, he named me because he's a guy from SNL.

I can't remember his name though. Oh, right, okay. Don't jump in anyone because you all accidentally fatchames someone who wasn't starring. I'm a big show. Huge show, we should point out to you. I'm gonna have to ner this though. People might have seen that this episode of the podcast,

hopefully has a little e-sign next to it, for explicit, because all things going well, each of us will do a swear on today's show. We decided that we're not just gonna do the whole show recklessly swearing, it's been what this show is about, and it would look like we're just doing it for the sake of doing it. But I have a tradition. Dictates that the 39th episode each year, we are allowed to do one swear

To ward off evil spirits for the coming festivities of the season. That's what it's for That's what it's for also I mentioned in show four I think it was yeah, that I had a story that required a swear word Yeah, and Where did we sit now that we'll just a podcast and not broadcasting nationally? We can swear our, we can swear the cast come home. Yes. And then when they come home, we can tell them to have a podcast. But it does mean you get a little knee next to it.

And we just felt, as we said, the episode four, it could have turned us in a whole different direction. Might have turned into bloody Joe Rogan. Just recklessly making billionaires smoke joints and swear. Yeah. And instead, we've retained, we went into different parrots. It's a decorum. Yeah.

We're all wearing our formal tracksuits. You know, we've got, we've got, we've got lots of things a certain way on this show. However, studying other episode today, swear is in order. Yes. The spirits be warned. Be warned spirits.

You shall be warded off for the festive season. Why don't you kick us off with the story, and though, and I look forward to the swear. I've of course, you swear thousands of times every day, but I look forward to one into the mic. I read Hot Swear. That's what I'm weapons free, Andy. Permission to swear. Take them off safety. Yep. You are in your clear hot to swear. Well, we should point out to if anyone's got kids around, you can switch off this podcast cast just wait a week or go to 40. It's already out. It feels like a long run up to me. It's still going to be.

In case you haven't noticed, and you're going to do a swear. 35 week run up to the story. Sorry, I've been thinking about it every day. It better be good. Which I'm worried about. No, no, no. This will be wonderful. This will be great. You said it was a funny story. It was not the funniest story.

It was a funny story. It's a funny story. And I know where this is. No, no, no. It's a good story worth the wait. Yes. I was worth the wait. I was down the beach. Oh. Oh.

Oh, that's good. So fast, so good. Like the city. Good start, love the setting. What could happen? Maybe things could happen. It's down there with friend of mine, Jess. And Beck, as well, my girlfriend.

Here we go. And Jess is feeling, say, patty. Here we go. And Kat amongst the pigeons. And Beck had never, my girlfriend. Here we go. And Jessus Fjorn say, patty. Here we go. And Kat amongst the pigeons. And Beck had never met Patty. Oh. Oh. We've already got so many avenues for mischief and mayhem.

What if they were lying together? Yeah. And they don't know what to talk about or he calls her an F and he's. And so Patty's kind of a fairish build, shorter than me, doesn't look overly athletic, a bit more polite. Have you ever got a Paddy? Yeah, it's important to the story. Okay. It sounds like you just tried to assert dominance over Paddy. So, Beck goes to Jess. Yeah, geez, he's not very, he's not very, isn't he? No, he's strong. All right, but not the strong. What does he do? What does he do? Like,

fitness wise, he looks quite strong. Yeah, a bit stuck here, but strong. Boulder lifts. And Jess says, oh, Panty does sweet fuck all. Well, it was pretty good, I guess. I wonder how he got so strong. OK, well, thanks so much for joining us guys. It will be more on the episode of Jack and I, each after it was swear. I'll continue.

Oh, boy. I thought he went to the gym. So that was a good one. So he does. That was a good wrong foot. You got sweet fuck all right. Oh, there we go, we do lots of swear. I only thought he agreed it was one. I don't know, can you give them a menta in the story.

Tom went by, we went up to cook some dinner, and while I was over on the bar, he becky-siled at a cross to me and goes, you just wouldn't have picked Patty to do that, would you? And I was like, what do you mean? She has street parkour. You realize he does street parkour for fitness. And I was like, really? Like bouncing over.

Because you're going for these very stockings. Quite short. How does he get off the ground? Wow, this is pretty amazing. So then I'm going across to Patti. I've got a bit of a bit of a chance. It's fine isn't it when you think, if I sit, you can put anyone in the street

and if you go, oh, they do park or does change your perception of someone. Oh, wow. So then when the girls are away, I'm just sharing a beer with Patti in the barbecue and when, how'd you get in street parkour? And he's like, I don't do parkour. It's like, oh right, Beck, Beck thought you did. And obviously we complete the loop.

Figure it out, figure it out. Yes, it's a sweet parkour. Sweet parkour. It's not about the, I had this the other day. Because parkour, everyone's impressed by parkour, but can't be bothered to learn it. Because the number farer tried to prove it. So funny. The friend of ours.

And we met that kid that's like, I do parkour. You're like, you're like 15. You're like, you're just jumping from vents. It's like, the best guys in the world. No, that's super impressive. Like, the guys that are stunt doubles for Jason Bourne. Yeah. But I had someone the other day go, I mean to park or,

and you're looking like, okay, that's impressive. Because you immediately think of the YouTube stuff you've seen like people jumping buildings. Yeah. Then I kept chatting to them. It turns out they were a fan. That's like, I think you actually have to say that. Because whenever you say someone I'm into park or, I think you actually have to say that.

Because if you say someone, I'm into parkour. I think you spend your weekend back flip off a second story of getting, leaping from like an open car park wall onto the top of a truck and then sliding down a pole. We're all fat. Anyone that shows me a clip of YouTube going, look at this guy jumping from a skyscraper to a skyscraper, we're like, well, what an idiot.

Yeah, geez, that's hard. I'm not into it. I'm not going look at this guy jumping from a skyscraper to a skyscraper, and we're like, well, what a idiot. Yeah, yeah, geez, that's hard. Yeah, I'm not saying to people. Oh, yeah, I'm in the park, all right. We're trying to wrap Typh, a lot of the loose ends up him towards the end of the year. And one was, you promised two more uses of a gilly suit. Yes. I think we got downgraded last week.

I think we negotiated one use. Because we had a partial use last week. And one me use. Neu use, sorry. Which counts, which we round up to two. Certainly more than one. Yep. And this is one of those ones, so you can only round it one way.

Some of you don't know what a gillisuit is. Yeah, we tried to explain it last week as much as we can. It's like the full camouflage sniper suit. It's got the dangly bits off it. They look like vines or leaves or whatever. You know, you clear and present danger, classic film. Yep. Go to Gilly City and it's sniper with Tom Berringer.

I know there's a lot of 90s references. There hasn't been a great sniper film. Well, American sniper, I suppose. He didn't use the Gilly City. He was an urban sniper operating in a, you know, built up urban environment. We have. We would have trained with the Gilly City.

We just didn't see many of those in scenes in Clint Eastwood's masterpiece. And in true story, we had one of the teachers in a gillisuit to try and do a drug bust in the playground. But again, true story of the American snipe, American snipe, I've never got more play. But you had more gillisits. So who did make the better thing?

But the point is it's supreme level camouflage. The idea being if you're in a suit like this, we'll fall sin scene from Clarence President Andrew, or not everyone else, but you can get within meters of someone. And if you're a sneaky sniper, you're not detected. So I thought these were... Too close for your gun, I'd record though.

Yeah, man, you still did it, don't we? I don't know. You haven't seen it. Classic scene. Again. You can't see where he is. They're all trying to spot him. And then he's right in front of him the whole time.

Right, you'd love it. Yeah. So did you take the suit home? Took it. So had the suit packed it into the car, take it home, because I said on last week's show, I believed that the $400 we spent on these two high-level camouflage sheets are in worthwhile investment for the show.

How'd you go for high-density? And I pledged, you know, we got to use them because you want value out of them, right? Yeah, exactly. And I was besting I could think of as playing high-density in the backyard with the gully suit on. Money, therefore making it money well spent, therefore getting me off of it.

Okay, yes. Well, I recorded it. I recorded the hide and seek. Now, did you just set the scene? Yep. Were you in the suit before Sani had to count? No, I said, you used to go inside. Good question.

I said, you go inside and I was able to go outside and get into the suit, so you didn't know the suit. I didn't know these suit existed. Yeah, that's great. Okay, so how long was he counting for? A hundred. Got a hold of him in there for a hundred. Okay, good.

So plenty of time for me to get in the suit. So, and then where were you going? In the bushes. Okay, good luck. Thanks. All right, here I am. Got the gully suit on. Better hard here in the garden. Sonny's wet to come and try and find me. This is great. The gully suit looks good, so glad I've got these. This is awesome.

I'm just going to tuck up into a ball and pretend to be a bush. 10 minutes later. There you go. All over, all done. Good fun. Took him a little while to find me, but He did get me, but took him a while because of the gully suit. Glad we got him. That was a good use of him. Have fun with that, Sunny Yeah, he's giving me a thumbs up. He's had fun. I've had fun. Good stuff Didn't he didn't do it? I know he didn't do it because he left the suit here last week. I just wanted to see how long.

I could totally forgot. I said I'd do that till this morning when you went out. Yeah, good. You went off last week and I saw the suit just sitting on the couch. I mean, now I haven't taken that The perfect audio Worth a shot. Yeah, completely sit my mind. Tell you what I was doing there No, no, it's what will happen if you got the receipts can we still take it back now? I'll give it a crack over some. Shelby, too busy, Nick.

Okay. Jacko. You start Jack, because you started to tell us a story. Oh, you? You were joking in here to the team that we could pick any store we wanted to get a $10 gift voucher too for our Christmas present for our hard work on the show this year. Just the fact that Jack classifies it as Jack, there are some workplaces where that would

be an absolute dream come true to get a $10 voucher. But Jack, you laughed at us. The expectation from Jack that we have to get him like a hovercraft or something like this. No one's ever done under a $20 gift voucher. I don't think. And so then I said, so what is it the worst, is it the worst Christmas present?

I'd just say though, that it was a test though of character. When I made, it was a joke, because I mean, we'll probably be looking at 15 plus for sure, but it was a joke, but when I said it without blinking, Mike, radio, straightaway goes,

EV games, good, I'm not, he's outside. My two brothers and sisters. Yeah, it just seemed like a kind of kid that was like, I know what I want. I'm not leaving this city on the table. This is a trick.

I'll get it right now, EV games. Thank you. I'm not going to hang around and like check the veracity of the offer. What if it's like beat the bomb? What if it goes down or it's off the, it goes. I'll get it now at 10. 10's good.

And well unlike Jack over here, the young great, the fun of the way. I'm just like, great for like putting that back in raw and laughing, going, I'll wait till you're talking about getting your case of full body. Then we'll talk. It was expensive, but delicious.

Yes, 130 dollar bottle please. Of water. Jack, then I said, well what is it the worst gift that you ever heard of? And you started to tell us a story. You said, no I've given my mum the worst gift. That's when we paused it and we're here now. Yeah. I was 15 and it was the first time I took myself into the city to buy a present for everybody.

Come on Jack. Where are we going? Tell you when we get there. Oh, hope it's the city. buy presents for everybody. Come on, Jack. Where are we going? I'll tell you when we get there. Oh, hope it's the city. Oh, good cares. How'd you know? I'm you. First time I had a part-time job doing Boundary Empire for local footies, so I had enough money

to spend. Yes, a few years before your life of crime at the cinemas? Yes, where I stole popcorn. And money. Delicious, delicious, bankable popcorn. Yes. I didn't do that. So I got my dad actually.

You did. You did. You're a regular joys. No one will get that reference. Oh, actually, they won. At least prize. I got my dad a CD. Nice, my friend.

I was having 30 bucks. PlayStation magazine. And then I didn't have so many 30 bucks A PlayStation magazine And then I didn't get my money thing Was coming home with the train panicking So did you forget to give us a view on the pie after buying the PlayStation? I did a few shops and just couldn't find anything That I was really really right Coming home and on the walk home the only real store

Is like a small strip of shops was Bakers Delight. So I asked Bakers Delight if they would do a $20 give voucher. They don't do give vouchers. Most of the prices. bakery. So what? So what they... No, it's a problem. I mean, you get your birthday club, finger bun. But... So what they get? You would... You would...

You would... You would kick you a 500, you would kick me a 500. That's a rock. You would kick me a 500. You would kick me a 500. So... They gave me instead... They had a $2 off coupon and they gave me $10 off coupon.

What? We had $10 off coupon. They had $10 off coupon. They had $10 off coupon. They had $10 off coupon. They had $10 off coupon. They had $10 off coupon. They had $2 off coupon. 20 $2 off coupon. They have done it absolutely. They have done it absolutely. Number one, it wasn't official. No way. So the guy working there just pocketed a 20-hour

and just saw this guy magic penis. And it has no value to them. Well, I mean, they did do $2 off of you. They used to one at a time. There's no way he put that through the register. I suppose you have to go in and get your cheese and bacon roll, which are about two bucks. And then use your voucher. That's one at a time. One per visit. How much does the puppy say not roll? 45 cents. Give us four. Keep the

teeth. You know, Taylor goes, you get 20 cents out of it. So did you give your mom 10 to $10? $10. Back is the light, that's the... Paula's a response. I want to apologize to her now because I... Queen Cola? Yep. Yeah, let's call...

Wow, A. In fact, actually, let's not call a Jack. Put your apology into a song for you. Yeah, that's a nice idea. And then we'll call her. You can play the song to your mom. I think that would be more... At least then you put F in it unlike the Christmas you. Yeah, that's a nice idea. And then we'll call her. You can play the song to your mom. I think that would be more, at least then you put F it in, unlike the Christmas present. Yeah, because again, you had a call.

Just calling it after, off a whim, that's the same if you put into a Christmas present. It's an absolute afterthought. Yeah. Let me ask you this, would she normally go to Vegas to do the families like bread and bakery shopping anyway? Yes. Yeah, basically saying, well, hey, Emma, were you out providing for us anyway? Yeah.

I'll probably eat that too, back to the day. Yeah, I'm eating the, I'm eating what you're buying anyway, but he's some way of making it a tiny, tiny bit less expensive for you as you go about your shopping for me. I cannot believe it. I know, I'm not, I'm not. We're getting the dude that sold you that is still laughing. He went straight out and bought like a bottle of sand book or something.

Underage. He just absolutely, we just took you from massive ride. Checks 15. I would dream. He fixed it when he did this. 15. I think to the guy with a little rip out coupons. They're all singular.

Yeah, but like, they're actually, I remember them. They were shaped like a loaf of bread, like a slice of bread. Hey, top-pollity coupons. It is worth. It's just so for laughing. That's one of those coupons. It's part of the 2020. I remember the trend of a customer like that. Guys, you know how we sometimes just give these away for like a handful in a bag. God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, God, about the 95% off I'm going to pay full retail for the rug. Wow. Okay.

McDonald's is selling you the salt and pepper statues. Yeah, like a bundle of straws for 50 bucks. Sure we can do that. Yeah. Where's that bell? Need a setback? How phones and napkins? Not me a dollar.

D-Day baby. Okay, here we go. We've all been looking forward to this. $2. $2. $2. $2. $2. $2. $2. D-Day, baby. Okay, here we have all been looking forward to this. Yeah. Jack, we are about to get back on someone that I want you to know enjoys complete diplomatic

community from me and Andy. We have to protect him. He was a victim in a bullying case from years ago. He's the one that blew the whistle on your school guard bullying. So what I know of what we're doing now is Riley is a guy who once hinted at a story about million dollar minute, the game show, and now we're getting him on to retell that story. Well, last time we hit him on the show, he vended the phone call by yelling, oh guys, I cheated at million dollar minute and I got a cheat on a game show.

One thousand dollars. And we're like, we want to hear that that but we've gone on too long because the reason He was on the show that day was to blow the whistle on how you bullied him at school We want to the incident I'll go over it now so we don't have to traumatize Riley when we get him up So he doesn't have to hear it again because I think it's a big time should I tell it how I remember it? Wow, I don't really often get the accused to tell the version of the story and let it be entered into the record. A desperate man, Riley, wanted to get on the podcast.

He knew me from high school. That part is true. He fabricated a story where I bullied him. When you talk to him on the phone, he said, oh yeah, I think he laughed at me one time when I asked to go to the toilet. Oh, it's true. A true case of non-bullying. And then...

Oh, that's not non-bullying. You did laugh at him when he needed to go to the toilet. Well, I can't believe the victim. What he said was he needed to go to the toilet is it a really vulnerable time in his life. And rather than have you as a comrade there as a young man standing shoulder to shoulder with him, you say, wrapping an arm around him,

so I understand your pain and we're all in this adolescent mess together. I was going to the toilet, an adolescent mess. Because it's about the body and it's a confusing time for everyone going through it instead of saying that Jack, what came out of your mouth can only be described as the giggle that echoed across decades. The most bullying thing you could have done. We all giggle in a nice way. You giggle.

You've got a sharp giggle boy. And I know where it came from. And that's obviously stuck within. He did break things coming forward. So when we said we're going to give him back up to tell us a story about how he cheated on a game show. You said can that be great? Because this is the swear show. You haven't sworn yet.

Andy's done his swear. I've got my swear out of the way. Well, he caused me a lot of grief on my social media pages. And you'd be like, I started posting photos and just being my wife and I don't know, the races or something, and people go bully, bully. Look at the bully.

So you'd like to say a few to him. You said last episode, you wanted him up, so he could swear at him. Now I'm having second thoughts on that a little bit because that does seem like the punishment does not fit the crime which he did which was make people say call me a bully. That's his crime. But my punishment F saying F you do him is probably too much.

I wanted him to say like F that Riley, F that. Oh you want to down? You want to be more being zasper at the situation rather than or to maybe like right what WTF man. Yeah okay. Well you just do it however you like. Now do you want us to say Jack's got something

to say to you Riley or would you prefer us to just let you chime in when you when you're ready. Prompt him. Prompt him. Prompt him. So just a... Get him, Riley. Yeah. Jackson's something to say.

Great, great, great. Oh, we can get him up now. Riley! Oh, holy! A hoi mate. A hoi. We cannot wait to hear the story. Sorry it's been such a long time between drinks.

Yeah. That's all right. It's great to back on the show. Is Jacko there? Jacko is in the background here. Hello, Riley. Good to speak to you again. Good night, mate.

Do you regret what you said about that? I'm very sorry that I've sort of, you know, I'll contribute to the U-Venalone who's picked on now. I guess history's a circle. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Well, I am.

Very sorry, mate. Thank you for saying that. I have nothing to say. You're a fucking legend. Oh, I'm sorry. Jack said it around. What? Oh, dear.

Well, Jack has used his swear on you. But he's used it in an endearing way. He's in a positive way. Where we felt the leader that you may cop a barrage of Evan Assaults. You have actually gone under the round. Yeah, okay, well Riley that's just a traumatic reversal, he's. Yeah, it's nice. I know that's a really big review, Riley, and I was about, I was going to do the same thing, but you got him first. Actually, he wasn't actually he was it right here is the jackspan was to launch into an f you riley talk us through how you one you won five thousand dollars on the t.v. show minute to win it even

the chateau this is million dollar minute was million dollar minute yet so million dollar minute uh... basically get out of the question to the three people and if you were the person like with a highest score you got to do what was called the million dollar minute where you'd be up like a flurry of questions in one minute yeah and you have to sort of work your way up the leaderboard over consecutive tape alpha bus if you got to the top of it yeah you got to now now now popular known as alpha bucks on the radio okay Riley talk us through how you cheated though so what happened to you try it yes three of us

there's me this is other older bloke and I I know Lady, right, and the three of us, they fit us down and time in the host time and ready to come to, I do have to Google it now, I do forget that, I will crop that. Anyway, he comes out, we get down to business. Now the thing is, the lady, actually read her pistol she is, she's answering questions, let's write in the center,

sometimes four times an impinged answering. I have to ask her. I mean the older bloke, we're just sitting like a pair of purkeys, while she's firing up all these answers, getting herself, oh, there's no chance, right? So there's this bonus round, right? Where they give a chance to whoever's not winning to make up some ground.

So they're going to give me in the older life just just up to a question. And when it gets it, can I knock off a few hundred points off the leader or buddy pocket $5,000 you do? So obviously already you realize how this can end. And so Simon explains the question, the question is going to be multiple choice. And the first to buzz in after he says, now gets the first bracket answering. And it's here, but I get this idea. There is no way that they can perfectly sync up turning on the buzzers when these bloke says, now.

There is no way that they can get it perfect for us. I mean, they must have to just be on the whole time and rely on us. Not buzzing in. I mean, and you like sneaky cheats. Oh, we can be cheap, no good, but sneaky small cheats. Big cheats, I get away with it. I'm okay. Hello level, we're just well executed.

Appreciate a well executed plan. So, so Raleigh, essentially, you just buzzing a little earlier is the elaborate cheat. So, what happened to you, right? It puts up a picture of a flag. I know you have to name it. Like that flag you had with all the nights on and that sort of stuff. I know I'm a flag cold. The thing is, I've got a time that's very careful because if I do it too early,

it's going to be like the, you know, the bloke at the Olympics with the pistol who's going to have a false start, get on the block. If I do it too late, then I'll make next week's going to bug in there like that. Anyway, I think I did a pretty good job. And I answer questions with Campbell, or something. And and he turned me and he goes, well done mate, do you want the points or the money? I don't think I'm going to go mace or I think I'll set the cash. So it was like a second or so ahead of time but I definitely definitely buzzed in before.

Oh, you never said that. It's not Riley. Riley, Riley, Riley. Riley. It's an early buzz, is the cheat. I don't think we needed to wait the whole year if you hear that story I thought you saw the questions or something interesting Like they're making questions 11 for that right. This is called early buzz. You know one second

Riley one We No, hang on. Here we go. Here we go. I'm playing a playtab. No, it's not. I'm just saying. We're going to be a bit vaguely interesting.

No, I mean, look, Molly, it was quite a long runner for a one second early course. That's two swear words, mate. That's two swear words. That's mind you fucking like we do. Mind you fucking like we do. I'm a nice, don't be like Jack're You're a big fucking boy Okay Okay Down

Thank you So There was line at the end of the Tunnel thanks Good Good I don't think it's at all. Thanks, Riley. Thanks, Riley. I know, I worry. Good dream, I could bro. I'm glad you enjoyed it. No, it was good. Good dream, 90 out there.

Good dream, 90 out. But good buzzing. Yeah, good buzzing, Ellie. Yeah, cheers, mate. Cheers. Cheers. OK, Ham. We've composed ourselves.

And I look I won't swear again for the rest of the show. I think I've got mine out of the system as promised. Yep. And Jack, how'd you go? No more from me. No more from me. You would feel a bit vindicated though, Jack, because... We turned on you, but you got off. A little bit. But just after you became a nice guy, so now...

It was a roller coaster, but we all knew that... It could have been some areas we spent at the story a little bit. Like I just jumped in, perhaps before a question was finished on the quiz show and came myself a small advantage. I acknowledge. I acknowledge that. That was quite a fast way to say it was.

Yeah, yeah. I acknowledge that off the back of this podcast, I will appear more than of a bully than Jack will. That's possible. Yep. That's fine. I'll take that on the screen. Are you really stamped on him at the end?

I feel like it's a title you were seeking. Seeking a little bit of that bullying line line. No, no, no. And I thought we were zero tolerance. I'm confused. We've got a zero tolerance of bullying him. Well, that's what I saw. We've got a lot of teens tolerance. We'll let a fair bit go.

I'm a special skill to wrap. I got a young man that's agreed to come in and doesn't live too far away because I think you'll enjoy this skill and a rory. He's only 19, but goodness me he's got a skill. He says just by looking at someone, I can tell what AFL team they go for. Anyway, it's, it served me well over the years and he does a little winking emoji, sort of saying it in the way that you might, like it's got him lots and lots of perks. Yeah, exactly. Oh, I look exactly like Barack Obama. And serve me well over the years. Yeah.

A lot of it like, smell like you're gonna be free meals. Yes. Like, is it a how it's served in well over the years? Like, I just can't see too many situations where he's like getting done for speeding or something. Just the ball thought, hey, I got a sec. You're gonna be a claimant, what are we? How does he do it?

I'll let you off with a warning, mate. Anyway, it has served in well over the years. The other thing that he's put on his application is he said, by the way, we've got another bit that says the thing that you know more than 90% of the population about, he's written Jack's dodgy house building techniques. He says, I wouldn't hold your breath on the house finishing anytime soon, fellas. Really? What does he mean in those more than everybody else about it?

I guess. You have to ask him, that's a bit weird. He's got insight. He knows more than not you, but he knows more, yeah, he's around, he's going to come in. So what I thought we'd do is we get roaring, and then let's just get five people to come in. By the sound of the door. How many, four out of five?

Four out of five are going to come in. That's our usual system. Okay, we'll have a... A mini break. I hear he comes. I was going to say a mini break and allow nice walking in here we go. What do you reckon he goes for?

Don't say like Cros because even though that's he's got a stripy jumper on. Doggies. Yep. Come on in bud, take a seat over here. We're working ascendant. How are you Roy? We're just having a guess who you go for.

Yeah, who's ascendant? Yep. You'd be wrong. I said the doggies. Not. Well, I heard Ascendant. Yep. You'd be wrong. I said the doggies. Not. Why? Sort of same, same, you know. Oh yeah, not many people like that.

Same league. Same league. I'll be Robin. The same football league. Thank you, Lord. Okay, well we're terrible. Yeah, we were miles off. So it was interesting or less interesting

than hearing people guess each other's star side. Roy, just a quick one. You said you also know a lot about Jack's bad building. Oh yeah. Have you gone past his house? Have you seen him in action? No, no, I've just got a mate who works down at Jack's local hardware store. Oh really? He's been skimpin' on woodcuffs and all sorts of... What do you mean I've been skimpin' on woodcuffs? He's been going in for some good Brazilian,

would you be getting anything on the dodgy wood? Merby, yeah, dodgy wood. Don't know, don't know. When we sprized it fell down if I could be honest. All right, all right. Great, play on. True or not, I love it. It's a great, it's a great,

it's a great haymaker to throw. If you go. I know. I got a no-a mate who works at your wood shop. Yeah. I'm Rory. Very hard for Jack to combat that. Here are the terms of this contest. We have five different individuals outside that will walk in.

You'll glance at them. You'll then turn Hamish and I and say what club, AFL Club, you think they're barrack for. They're either yellow out correct or they'll give you the correct club. Look, this is a very hard skill. I'm actually going to reassess. I reckon three out of five. We were going to make it four. That's the usual threshold for getting you going. If you get five out of five, you're getting that coin claim. That's phenomenal. Good luck. All right.

Thank you. We've also checked and they do all follow an AFL team. Okay. Here we go. First of all, Lazy. Cool. Lazy, there she is. Standing there.

Mmm. I'm going to say Richmond. No. Yeah, Lazy thought you'd say Richmond. No! Yeah, Lisey thought you'd say Richmond. Yeah. Yeah. I'd like to say Richmond.

I'm definitely going to have ever got on an outside of it too, I'm telling you. Oh, okay. So, as we started off tough. Yeah. Okay. He's down one. Down one. Put it out of your mind though.

Focus on, yeah. Just go ahead and take it. You've got to take it match by match by match at the time. Here we go. Skip. Ooh. Are the Hawthorne or Essendon? I reckon. Can you give us a yes or other?

No, no, I'll narrow it, I'll narrow it. I can say, I can say, yeah, it is a Hawthorne or Essendon. Hawthorne. It's not a... You're kidding! Yeah, we can give you a hug. We give you a hug. We give you a hug. I've got it on the wrist.

Um, cheers. You're open to. You're open to. Okay. Okay. Here we go, Pete. Pete. Uh, Colinwood. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no The way I do it is I sort of picture them in the merchandise. And it looks like a man who suits the white and black.

And now that you've heard Melbourne, how does that sit with you? Well, you know, it looks a bit out of touch with the common man, so... Okay, yeah, that'll do it. That's Melbourne for you. You'd have nice boots on. Yeah, the Hrm's on. Okay, here we go. This is just for on and now.

Nick, here we go. This is just for on and here. Nick, here we go. Carlton. No, Richmond. What major do you go to Carlton? You just felt again, merchant dies? I felt you thought there was an Italian farmer. Yeah, the Mediterranean is great. Richmond has a blood streak following.

You have an occlangor here. That's all right. I mean, you got close with that. I mean, I got you mate earlier who walked me up. He asked me what team he goes for when I said Essendon. I got it right. He does have a lanyard on that's like a member. To 2018 members, Essendon landed.

But if you didn't notice the landing, I didn't see it. Last one. All right, Emily. Here we go. Now really focus here, right? I feel like you're just going knee-jerk reaction. Like, really, don't talk us through your process here. What are you imagining?

Yeah, right. Okay. Well, she's got sort of a multi-helled cardigan on, so that's not really give away. We're not going to bring him anything to her. I know, who knows. I'm going to say, I'm'm gonna go Carlton again. I was living in the swans. No, Western Bulldogs. Western Bulldogs, it's a zero count. A zero count. It is a hard game and it is a zero count.

Hey, Grinners, do you have a team? Jump in. Serious to walk back in. We'll go... I guess they killed her. Richmond! So what we've seen here is... Hey Mark, no, no, no, we can't keep doing this. You already guessed Mark.

Hey, we can't keep going through because we'll get up to 18. Yeah, and it's not going to get it. Everyone's a 180. Exactly, so my point is we'll get to a point where statistically he should have got one. Okay. Okay. What about you? I mean, no, the game's over. I would just like to know historically though,

what was the moment where you thought this was a skill? I work at a cafe and I do it a fair bit to the customers and I get it like a fair few of them. Been on a bad run this week, because I was trying to hone it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For like I was, you know, I was putting too much pressure on. That can happen, you know.

Over thought, just, you're just gonna go back to your old man. Yeah, well, let's just do it at primary school. Pretty much bang, you know, yes, and then horse on. Well, you, you have not received a coin. You have it. I mean, what are you having for?

I do you want to find a having in there. I've never enjoyed the little tid bit about Jack's house and he's cheap. Yes. Yeah, that was worth it to the others. Worth it in the cell. We can give you, though, a token of no value. I'll definitely take a token of no value.

You'll notice it's bronze, a lot smaller than a Hamish-Sandy coin. It has a blank side, which reduces its value to zero. It has absolutely no value, comes with no intrinsic value. We certainly place no value upon it. Brilliant. Comes with no loaded value.

You can add value, sentiment of value. You can add sentiment of value upon it. Brilliant. It comes with no loaded value. You can add value, sentiment of value. You can add sentiment of value to it. We don't give two hoots about that. We couldn't care less about that coin because it's no sentiment of value for us, but it is something, it's just no, I have no value. Yeah, fair enough. Thanks, Rory.

Thanks a lot. I think it's having me in. It was a pleasure to watch you on a tour. I'm just doing it more. Yeah. Ha ha ha. Spatial. Hey, you know I played a golf day this week. If you're ready. So you absolutely shot the lights out of it and the people you with couldn't play for shit. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha The man running it, who does a lot of work with Charlie called Red Dust.

Beautiful Charlie. Beautiful Charlie, it was Santo Chalaro. We know Santo, maybe people might have seen him from having you being paying attention, Santo, Santo, Sam and Ed, a cup fever, and he's also on the front bar occasionally. The guy I was playing with, you went to school with Santo. He went to school with Santo. And he told me a story about Santo with school days. And it didn't seem right to go. So I thought should we call Santa on level with him, the accusation?

Great. To see how he defends himself. Can you say the guy's name? Keith. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I was looking for you yesterday. No, there you say he'll know if he went to school with the Keith. Yes, I think so. Yeah, okay. So let's I'm any chance this guy's just talking a big game. Not expecting you to follow up on it? Could be. And that's why... Keith sound like, you know, or do you have every reason to believe

Keith was telling you? No, I... Keith seemed like a good man of his word. Okay. Yeah. I should've just say Keith is listening. Andy didn't say that about that. People were saying,

so, mild stitch up. Beep. Beep. Hello, you've called O409? Yeah, so give that out. That's okay. Ellen Jontanadon. There's still a possible...

What is that? Million possibilities. Yeah, ask that. So it takes sound. We wish you luck. We wish you luck. Go for it. BEEP Hello.

Santo. How are you? It's Hamish and Andy. Hello, guys. How are we? Yeah. Clear. Do you text some news? We're just calling you on the podcast, Santa. We should make that clear. Hey, great day with the golf day. Here it was a crack of Santa. I was just saying to home,

a lot of great work with Red Dust. And if people wanna check out that charity, they wonder what's the best place to go? Red Dust.org. And it's all there. So it's all the work that's been done over the past 20 years. It's been around for a long time, yeah. Beautiful stuff.

We firmly encourage it. But Andy had a question, Santa. Something came up with his playing partner's at the golf day. So, I was playing with a guy called Keith who said he went to school with you and I said, do you have any school stories from Santa and he told me a story? Yeah, did you go to school with a Keith, Santa? You know what, I've never recalled a Keith, but I mean, I saw him on the day, I walked around with him.

I used to be able to get away with the excuse of i can't play golf because i'm a tagging but unfortunately an Italian won a British Open this year so i can't go with him anymore yeah so santa was walking around he was just mingling with all the groups oh great and so we saw santa he was there he was he was a year below me he told me is that is that not what he told you it's already told me me and Santa he said that after you left school, yeah, they'll preparing for their exams at the end of year 12. Yeah, and then it to invite back a student that had done well to talk about studying techniques. And you run back to assembly and that you got up in front of everybody.

And you said a couple of techniques, but the one that stood with him was you study for your exams in the kitchen while your mum made dinner so you could get used to all the clatter around if people were being noisy in exam conditions. Delatal noise. Sort of ladle in noise. Look, you know, Andy, this is really weird. I have no recollection of coming back to school. In fact, I think that I've got a bit bitter for a few years because I was never invited back much. I don't think it was me. However, this is the weird thing.

This is the weird thing. I could I spoke to Keith Lader and he kind of raised it with me. He said, did you ever come back to the school to talk to anyone about technique? I said, I don't think so and he said oh that must have been Frank the zill there was another Italian guy I just want to be stupid in it too I just want to keep this there. He's an Italian guy an Italian guy came back

something about spaghetti, something about labels, something about noise, something about mother you know what it's rational stereotypes. It really is, it's filing. Plus, it can false Italian memories in, Ron. But it's, you know what, it's probably a good technique, and I still see Frank every now and again, even though he lives overseas now. But he's now surrounded by a lot of noise, and he's still very successful.

He was practicing early to be a foreman, whatever hard it was for. Santa, as everybody knows, you yourself know, I see you at a lot of events, one eighth of the time, myself. I want Andy now to conflagate that story. And in future, tell people that's our home studies with a lot of racket in the kitchen because I'm your so-er-tell-you.

Fair-tell-you, yeah. And that's how I remember studying that way as well, growing up. Do you know, this is a weird thing, but I actually edit. When I do editing for our shows, I actually edit with other television programs on in the same room,

because I do think that when you edit stuff, you think that everybody's listening and paying attention to whatever you do, but it's not, no one's doing that. Everyone's going out and like Frank's parents, they're washing the dishes and making the food so I like to have a little bit of stuff going on as I edit that's how I think people watch that a great insight so it's basically have you been paying attention because I'm not Thank you very much for joining us, mate. That's awesome.

See you guys later. Bye. Bye. Hi, my do something that I think many, many people do, and I'm not sure if it works or it's doing anything. Drain diary. Drain diary. No, it's not a dream diary.

Radicy dream. You've been begging for weeks. I got myself a packet of coolments. That's not a dream, don't you? Radicy dream. You've been begging for weeks. I got myself a packet of coolments. That's not a thing, I know a lot of people do that. That's why Alan's keep... Cleansing stocks and all those other supermarket. They announce the grid news to the coolments factory. We're continuing with the tens and the bags.

Right. It's going to put one in my mouth, drop it in the kitchen. It rolled away. I went and picked up the cool mint and just rubbed it on my shirt. And then I popped it in my mouth. It's because it's a hard shell candy. You don't think, but if you drop a wet cool mint, good god no, you would never put that in your mouth.

No. Because that thing, that's like a, you know, that will suck up any bit of the lint. Because I think because we feel nothing can stick to it. Not even germs could get a grip on a call, man. If I find myself with plenty of foods, I drop them and I just give them a quick rub on my shirt before putting them back in my mouth. And that's why I've got joining us right now,

Ham, to try and work out where it does anything at all. A professor of structural biology. Yes. From the University of Western Australia, the School of Molecular Sciences, Alice, welcome. Hi there, how are you? Hi, Alice. How's it going?

Thanks for being on the show. What's cooking in the world of molecular biology in structural molecular biology these days? Well, lots of cool stuff's happening. We're looking at lots of interesting proteins and trying to understand how they work by looking at their structure. Ah, well. Right. Yeah, well that's okay. Okay, good. So, I mean, so you would know really because at the, I mean, I'll just give you

my layperson's understanding here of what food is, the edge of the food. So when Andy drops a cool mint, to the naked, I do the human eye, that would look very, very smooth and very spherical. In fact, I was going to say if, you know, we made walls out of cool mint material, you'd never be able to climb up them because it's so smooth. But at a microscopic level, there'd be all sorts of bumps and ridges there that germs could hang on to during the brief period, it'd hit the kitchen floor. Would that be correct? Yes. Yeah, that's absolutely true. But do you need a bump for a Jim to hang on?

Do you? Even James need handles. I don't think so. I've got it written on a mug. But let's ask the scientist. I've got a mug that says even James need handles. And it points to the coffee mug's handle. I don't, but I'm going to make one.

Alice, do you need a bump for a Jim to hang on? Not really, I mean, jerks have their own ways of sticking to all sorts of surfaces. But at the nano-scopic level, it's all about hand-alusin. No, it's not. It is. We're interlocking bump. How does anything hang on to itself if it's not interlocking? It's like mini Velcro at a very nano-scopic level. Anyway, Alice, let's move on. Think of your teeth. Yep, your teeth. They're pretty smooth.

At least if you brush them and fluff them. Yep. But that area can still stick to them. Yes. But it can cause it a nanoscopic level. And Nammal does have some holes in it. Alice, is there any point in me rubbing all the foods cool men's or on my shirt my shirt is it helping at all

no i think by rubbing it you probably added more bacteria on to it yeah okay so the the the cleanest thing to do would be to get a sterile uh... it's a bit of tweezers that are still pick it up and then pop it on mouth that way should run under boiling hot water to be quite honest the best thing to do is put it in your hands and pop it in your mouth. Right, don't drop it. Hey, Alice, well, we've got you. This is sort of related, but I was having this discussion with my brother-in-law on the weekend.

He wants to do a month of just eating food off other people's plates that they'd leave behind at a cafe, right? Because he's like, you know, there's a lot of food waste in the world. Yeah. And I was like, yeah, but the, you know, the germs. I think everyone's immediate responses, but germs. And so he's response me is, yeah, but what germs? If there were really germs on everyone else's lips

that could make us sick, we'd all be sick all the time. He's like, germs, it's overstated. Like if we were that contagious, we'd all be sick. So it's just a cultural thing. Is that right? That's why we have an immune system. Because it was designed to fight that. When I was a child, my mother stuck me in the sand box

and I ate sand. It was probably full of all sorts of stuff, but I'm still alive. If someone just decided to go, from now on, I don't care who it is. If I see food on someone else's plate, they'll have to have a cafe, their meal. From a scientific standpoint, is that very, very unlikely to get sick if you have a good immune system?

Well, no, I wouldn't say that. I think it depends on who food you're eating and what they're infected with. I mean, if they have a cold, you're going to catch their germs that way. If they have a bacterial infection, you could very easily catch their germs that way. It depends, and that's the same with food, dropping food on a floor. If the floor is clean, you're fine. If the floor is filthy, then you have a bigger problem on your hands Yeah, drop a cool minute a toilet and he's floor is full No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, you haven't seen Andy's mind. Ellis, thank you very much for joining us.

Very interesting. We appreciate it. Thank you, Ellis. Okay, thank you. Bye. Listen up.