Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2018 Ep 8

Episode Date: April 18, 2018

1. It’s not just a guess2. Wilson v Wilson3. Masters sports4. Hamish’s working bee5. Surfing song update6. Andy’s boring story7. Persisting with Marty

A least-snap production. Activate your internet. Cause the Hamish and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. One! Joe, Joe, Joe! Explain, explain, explain. You guess it's now. Okay, so, Joe, Joe, Joe, I'm gonna say... I think it's Mandarin or Cantonese.

Nope. You're right. Jaco, I'll say... Indonesian. Sri Lankan. Vietnamese. Very good. As we stroll through the other languages where police officers would walk up and say hello hello hello that

does sound likely for Vietnamese policemen yeah go go go what we have here just some discounts if it is I was told not to open the bag but if I took it to a strainer and go to a family member it would be greatly received. I'm an innocent man. Hey, Big Show today. Huge show, my friend. But you know, well, it'll be as good as the rest of them. So if you've been enjoying them thus far.

And we'd like to say thank you to those people that are continuing to download and download the podcast and telling their friends as the numbers bill, even anecdotally costing Annie and I pretty penny in the street with that we haven't measured this well, but the offer of course if you see us in the flesh, at $1, as a thank you for listening is there it's their reverse subscription model. If you see us we pay you $1. Must have changed for 20. You've got to have changed for 20. We don't want any of this. And no I-rolls. No I-rolls, or we get a dollar of you. Yes, and we don't. and we march you to the ATM.

And we must change for 20 to give you change for an I roll. Guy came up to me to the train station and asked for it all the other day. And I said, so I'll make you change for a five and he didn't. And I just like, I'd help him if he I rolled. He did, he did an I roll, but I mean, how often are you carrying around coins? Luckily, the last few times I've been here, I had a few. I normally turn to Beck and she, yeah, empty too.

Yeah, so it's fun, it's, baby. I be warned, Jack, because Jack notoriously tight, he is up for $10 if someone can produce their payment details because he doesn't carry cash around. And I got upgraded to, you have to have a machine that I can tap. No, I didn't. I think it did. No, you have to have a machine that I can tap. No, I didn't. I think it did.

No, you had to do business, carbon bar. They carry around a business car with their bank details. You can direct them from an app on your phone. Yeah. I met someone that has, is carrying it. Right. Very happy Jack. They can get you.

Yeah, me. Now, let's kick off the show. If we can, with a stroll through a valued and important pod guest is, database, this database grows by the week. Jack Harvest saw the personal data we purchased it off him. And we can find out who our listeners are, who our podcasters are, people that have filled out that form. The thing that we always get drawn to

is people listing their special skills. Sometimes we like to see a special skill that reminds us of a different special skill and fight our podcasters against each other like Pokemon. Have I used that reference correctly Jack? I mean Pokemon do fight each other so yes. How often?

I mean it's kind of all they do or? No no you go around and you collect Pokemon I suppose in the Game Boy version you collect Pokemon and you battle them. So yeah 50% of a Pokemon's duties is battle. And the other thing is the other the other, the other remains possessed. The other thing is it's waiting to be collected. What's his, what's his other duties? Wait patiently to be collected and battle.

And battle, when requested. Yeah, I guess they're, when they're not battling, when you don't collect them, they're out in the wild. So living like a normal animal would. Oh, it's quite, oh, that's quite, because so they don't battle in the wild. I don't think so. So they're made to battle by their owners?

Yeah, actually, this is like cock fighting. Yeah, so they've gone and pulled animals out of the jungle and they're trying them up to fight. Do any Pokemon ever refuse to fight? They're not even the same species out of their fight. Don't get into that. So it's like going, oh, here's a gorilla, good luck against the Rhino.

Go Rhino. Does she look like one? Well, no, I'd like to say that I don't think that sounds like it. No, I just said that because Rhinocs are endangered. How's that, Gorillaz? Yeah. We're not playing for the guys. We're not making them do it.

No, I'm just the one that wants Pokemon. My point is, is that the essence of it? I think it is. Well, I made the reference first because we are making two of our listeners, essentially fight each other, but using their special skills today and because we noticed as we were looking through the data, a couple of the two people stood out to us in recent applications, recent people that are filled out the form as having outstanding skills. It's more than a guess. Some of the people would normally guess, but these people listed as a skill. First person up is candy. How are you candy?

How are you, gentlemen? How are you? How are you candy? Thank you for using the preferred greeting of the show. I'll sweet poke them on. Candy, you have listed here, your special skill, as hearing money. When someone drops a coin, I can tell you immediately what coin it is without looking at it. Do you stand by that claim, Candy? I stand by it, yes. How often are you getting it right?

I'm going to say 90 to 95%. That's good, that's a great thing. So you will hear the telltale ping of metal on concrete behind you and without turning around you out 20. Yeah, so I know whether like if it's a gold, I know to turn around and see if someone has picked it up. And you know where the stopper is. I just let it go. To Tinney, could you do it down the phone?

I'll try okay wow okay, great. I appreciate that have you ever could you detect multiple drops or is it single coin drop only? Oh Single drop only but I'd again be willing to try the double sounds like singles preferred and we'll let you just have Single phone down the phone Well, you have single because down the phone can bottom line, because the person you're going against, not guessing, better than guessing, just knowing these as faxes. Locklin, locky, how you mate. Oh, yeah, boy.

I lock. There you go, Jake. Good, I lock you. I lock you. How are you? No, that's not fair. OK, that's not fair. So, so, Locklin, what is your special skill

as listed on the Valiant and Important Podcast of form at HamishNanny.com? Well, I can guess the price is a meal, however it is I can guess it. So let us get this intrigued just like it, definitely. So, if we said to you, we went to the cafe and got two toasted ham and cheese sandwiches, a coffee and a bottle of water, you would know the price of that meal. Roughly. Great. Within how much?

How rough. Like within a dollar. Would you say you'd be able to do it within a dollar? I'll go, have that $2. Okay. Within $2. $2 is here to side. Okay, great.

Well, how are we going to do? Something I love more. I'm having a special skill with an inbuilt and advertised margin of error. So, hey, how you going to run this? I love more. Having a special skill with an inbuilt and advertised margin of error. So, hey, how you're on this? I can name. You tell me the country can name any capital, but I get three passes, and I'm allowed to Google once. So the key is here if we put them both on top.

Let's establish the rules here. We want to invent a game here where we can test them against each other because a Hamish and Andy coin is up for grabs. Essentially, we play the game with Candy, we'll drop a coin, see how close she gets. Do we drop one coin or three coins? We drop three coins. We will.

Individually. See how she goes. Mark Dan her answers. Yeah, so she's gonna have a score out of three. Then we go to Locky. Do we get it? Let's get a menu from... I've got one up, I'm not gonna say,

just in case he can hear us now. Because I think the important thing for testing Locky. Do we get it? Let's get a menu from... I've got one up. I'm not gonna say, just in case he can hear us now. Because I think the important thing for testing Locky's skills we have to tell him what type of place it is because you can't just go steak. You know what I mean? Sometimes I can be 10 bucks, sometimes I can be 50. This is the menu I've got up. Very good.

And he's showing me his computer and I like it. Okay. We're gonna take a brief break. We'll be back in a second. The contest will be on. Yeah. Back. Back.

We're back. We've worked out how these games are going to go down and aim. We've also have an opener because people, or two bills specifically, Candy and Locklin, have filled out at HamishDead.com, the valued and important podcast to form, and they listed their special skills as what some people would perceive as guessing.

Other people would guess this stuff, they know it. They reckon they know it. Candy can hear the noise of a coin, hit in the grand, she knows what coin it is. Lockham can hear the name of a meal and immediately know the cost of the meal. Yeah, exactly. So, before we jump into the actual contest, we'll literally saying it's a special skill. Cause it's not just a guess. The genuine leave the best.

Better than everyone. That's why we made this scientific test. Cause it's not just a guess. One of those songs, when Tina Turner sings it, you know, listening back, why should you... Yeah, because if you just sort of sing it, it's usually slow listening to it back, was that just me? Yeah, the other thing, because you're just like, all right, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other thing, the other I knew what was coming up because remember was singing it we're punching Yeah, we thought it was all a good time

But then let us think about the problem we had is quite all the information in the song we included in the lead up to it So if it's tinnitus came out before singing you typically do a few things you need to know And like as like a table a little song here about someone who's better than all the rest, better than anyone, anyone ever met. Anyway, here it is. Dun, dun, dun, dun. That would be also problematic for everybody. Anyway, I think that's what added to that feeling of like. Oh, boy.

This is a little slow. All right, okay. Okay, let's pace it up with some exciting guessing, but it's not just a guess, it's knowledge, Candy, are you ready to go? Yeah. Hamish is about to drop one coin, you'll have three different coins one at a time

as soon as it's dropped, a drone will drop, and that'll add to the tension before you give your guess. Are you ready for coin number one, can I am dropping this from a height of one foot onto our desk in here? So it's not concrete, is it? Desk, okay. Yeah, okay.

Come on. That's what I'm trying desk okay? Yeah, okay That's right. Give us conditions now to weasel out through a loophole. Here we go. Here comes the coin What was that coin candy I think it was gold and I think it was a two It was a 50. It was a 50. That's okay. Now, similar waiter, it's a denser coin. Yeah, nice. You need to calibrate a little bit, but you're good. Hard over the phone.

I have a acknowledge. Don't worry, wait till you hear Locky's mail. It's almost impossible. Okay, here we go. Coin number two. Dropping now. I like how $2 again. No.

That was a 10 cent piece. Let's go for one more. Sun cost fallacy. Okay, it gives the last one. Dropping now. Yeah, the kind of thing is, do you change your guess? You have had a trend to happen to this point, Danny. Do you adjust the trend? Or do you really, really think about what you heard and what your heart's telling you?

They all just sound so dense over the phone. Yeah, it's a terrible thing. Go with your heart. What does it feel like to you? Okay. I'm going to go $2 again. Yeah! She got it!

She got it! She got it! It looked like an absolute fool if you'd change. That took courage. That took a lot of courage, which will be taken into consideration when the judging comes. One out of three. I thought you might have tried to quickly answer, I wish you'd Andy coined. I was thinking of it if you were getting too good, but no offense, we didn't need to

do that. It really needed to ramp up the difficulty. I think I speak for everyone in the same way that we can all agree that song was a bit slower at the start. We can all agree we were hoping for you to get at least one. And you did, you did. 1 out of 3. I was going to say I'm back. Just 1 out of 3.

Dot dot dot, falls dot. Candy. We're done. Lucky. done lucky lucky here we go big color okay lucky now you would have to say at this stage candy has is it's a 400 meter sprint she's got 200 meters to go she's fallen over is it a broken angle is it a twist can she still get up and win it all comes down to whether or not you sprint past her here. She did a good job. Good on you lot. That will be taken into consideration too in the judging. Although ironically, that further moves the finish line away

from you. Lucky. Yes. The restaurant is love, love or cater. Eat, live, love, Italian. Not the answer. You know it.

Hashtag Glockman. So do you know Lapa Ketterlock? Do you die in there with your family or your friends? No, I would love, Italian. Not the answer. You know it. Hashagnott's ones, do you know Lapa Keterlock? Do you die now with your family or your friends? No, I'd love it. Okay, then this might play well into your court here. We have ordered a salt and pepper squid, a bowl of wedges and cheesy garlic bread. Okay.

How much that can it cost us? Now, you know the price points of a, so salt and pepper squid. Yep. All the wedges to your Gallup bread. Difficult throwing salt and pepper squid in there. Not a traditional Italian meal. Calamate frito misti is.

Another salt and pepper squid. I would say that's more of an Asian dish. I'm going to go. Yep. $21. $21? Was that someone cheering in the background? I think this guy's my dog.

Like, he's... Man's best friend. He's talking about your back door. Don't like that. So can I just get a gauge of what you've priced the squid at? I... $10.50. And the wedges?

Uh, eight. Okay, leafing is at a car. And the wedges? 8. Okay, leafing inside the garlic bread. Absolute bargain. 250. No, no. Yeah, 250 for garlic bread. Yeah.

You are off to the tune of $12. And no one can believe it, can he's one? Can he? Can he? I don't think we can send either of you at H&A coin. I just think this is... I thought it was in both of them one. You reckon?

Well, they just gave such a great effort. Jack, you've got the decider here. I say send both, Andy says send none. Send none. I value the H.A. coin very lowly, so for that reason, send them. LAUGHTER You have forgotten we haven't given you one.

Guess what, guys? You've got an H and A coin each. Jack still has none. He has one online, but it's not his. LAUGHTER Well, no, don't. Thank you, boy. No, well done.

No, thanks for being clavishose. This is probably more accurate. Hey, I'm talking to a friend of mine, Joe, who was on a beach with her husband, and she was complaining that the husband wasn't listening to her. Right? Yeah. And I went, okay. Right, to say, has a sunny how sunny day so husband was on his phone

Um, it was when the cricket scandal happened and he was he was just in loved all the articles So he did so she was speaking to him asking questions. He wasn't responding. I my head. You know in my head You know my head went to what he was distracted. Oh, right. No, no He uh don't well. I don't know what is What he was distracted. All right, no, no. He, uh, don't, well, I don't know what it is. Yeah. Well, you know what I mean, like, it's, he, maybe they don't go to the beach a lot.

He's getting in the team. And he might have been working a lot over the summer. And there was more skin than usual. First time he was at the beach all summer, like, if I get one beach trip in before we lose the good weather. Yep. And yeah, he's, he's saying what he's seen, what he's seen, taken it in. And he was overwhelmed. No.

It can happen. No, he's like, you're talking from experience over there. See what he's saying? Oh, hang on a sec. Who's that in the green bikini? Okay, play it cool. For example, yes. Okay, no, it wasn't that. He was just in his phone. He wasn't paying any attention right. And so when I went, oh gosh, you're on a beach. You're not getting a response. It's like you're talking to Wilson. Yeah. Right. Uh, referring to Cast Castaway and she went, ah, not really. And I went, what do you mean? She says, well, Wilson always talks back. And I went, she didn't think, uh, I'm in proof. Yes, she is. The guy over the fence, the, our younger listeners,

pause the podcast, Google 10 Alan, home improvement, best Wilson chats chats if you then have time sub Google best tool time antics and you see a lot of funny stuff on on she's the tool man Taylor show she thought I was referring to the neighbor who lives next daughter Tim Allen on home improvement who still on new apps do you know surely you know how they'd be like we're born back Will and Grace. It'll come back. It'll come back.

I mean the bro's hands back. Yeah it'll come back anyway. God if man he was an old man they'll still be a real. Yeah. Well we never saw a part of his characters. You only saw the toys eyes of a fence. They can be replaced. They can replace him.

They use the same shot as previous and just dumb it over. Put Jean Hackman in there or something. Anyway, she thought I was, the reference I was making was about Wilson from my improvement. I was like, well, no, no, he wasn't coming back with quips, but it may be wonder what a different film it would be. If instead of Tom Hanks' counterpart being volleyball

with a handprint on it and a face painted on top of that. I hope Andy, rather than just making this whimsical notion, you've made something for us? Oh, absolutely. Wilson! Wilson! Wilson! I hold you. I'm just testing my maracas.

Wilson! Just posing off my rocks. Wilson! You've been hearing all sorts of what's scratching noises. Yeah So what did you do? Well fair is perfectly natural everybody's afraid of something Sure good buddy. You're okay. Okay.

Yeah. I'm sorry, Ralph. Oh, that's all right, David. Different film. Different film, but what made me like was when you said, to everyone who paused their podcast and go and Google, Wilson Best Eggs, it's in there on YouTube and that's where I go. I've just heard it all.

He sounds different than I remember Wilson. Does he? No, I mean, I'm not accusing you. I'm just finding an American voice because you couldn't find enough Wilson grabs on YouTube. But, you know, I remember very romantically, like he was always like full of, like I think his voice was deeper than that. He was like full of wisdom. No, you're thinking of James L Jones.

That's right. Darth Wilson. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right.

That's right. Darth Wilson. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. That's right. Panda, quick question. You watch a lot of sport. You know, they've got the tennis the masters to which I think is quite popular. Like you get aggacy and Newly old tennis players playing in like you know, Steffi Graffle. They do it with the golf as well. Yep. Not all sports

blame themselves to masters do that. Yeah. Because I was just thinking there are some sports. Maybe this is because the Commonwealth Games run a little while back. There are some sports where you're like, this is good only because we're witnessing a human being at the limits of what a human can do. Like masters long jump. For example, I feel you'd never, you would never go, ah, you know, he was great in the 90s. Let's go see if he's still got it.

I think it's on a bell curve. I think it's boring for like from 30 year olds plus it's boring until they get to about 80s. Yeah, yeah, I was a hebraver, still curved, it's a dip. So it's a dip. So I, I'm, anyone passed a hundred doing anything.

Yes, it's amazing. That's true. So I would go and watch the Masters 5K. Yeah, it was a hundred meters sprint and you had to be 85 plus I think that gets excited. That's true. If you're in that zone where it's like all right 50 to 65 just moving your body It's not impressive like it's you should yeah, we support health. Yeah, but just going on just I'm just yeah I'm just pushing out a shop puttons. No, we're near a world record. Yeah

You can you're right. You're gonna have to get back to us in 30 years when you're throwing something that would break your contemporary's arms. They should have a healthy 100 year old next to you who tries to pick it up and snaps his arm. Thank you Fred, thank you for your time and your service of humanity. And now we're going to see another 100 year old's athlete put it. Who's still sick of doing that breaking his arm? Even if he picks it up and goes, I'm not feeling it and puts it back down. You go, well, at least you didn't break his arm. Because suddenly more, it's also suddenly more courageous.

Because for some of the hundred meters, friends, you're actually, you're life's own life. Every race, every race. Every race. I'll die. Like, you think about, I already am beginning to go. I've got to just keep my eye on. I sometimes trip over.

And I recover, but you don't when you're seven. Do you think about, I already in beginning to go, I've gotta just keep my eye on, I sometimes trip over. And I recover, but you don't, when you're 70. Anytime you lose contact with the Earth over the age of 60, it's a panic moment. That's why a hundred year old, maybe Master's long jump, easy, exciting. They're off the ground. 80, 70, 80 plus.

70, 80 plus, in the middle. Six, six, six, six. I'm watching my dad do a long jump. Even if it was the former champion. Sorry, my poor is bad poop. Hey, and the other weekend, I just, there are a little moments where you elevate, you got one level in your dad experiences. First ever kind of working B.

When you went to the working B. Went to the working B. And felt like I was, had you go in, because so you can either go in and going, this is going to be annoying. And be one of those dads who doesn't do anything. And you can get away with that. Sure.

Or you can go in going, I'm going to try and direct traffic and really get some stuff done. I went in, this was my thought process going in. I'm not going to be, the biggest mistake, I'm a big fan of the show survivor. Biggest mistake people can make, Camp Day 1 is be a leader. You have to noise everyone else.

Best thing you can do is be a team player and just a diligent worker. I'm going to go in here and impress the other mums and dads but it's been a diligent worker. Doing what I'm told, helping out, maybe having an opinion here and there. But who took the road? Well Adam's the head of the kinder. All right, so he's, and I'm told, helping out, maybe having an opinion here and there, but who took the road? Well Adam's the head of the kinder.

All right, so he's, and I knew Adam, he's sending out the email, I was first asked for it. Yeah, sorry, I didn't realize that. It's interesting you say that because once, so here's what happens, right? First, my first real experience as a dad, I remember going as a kid to working in Beesby, very different when you're a parent.

Well, you have to do something. Or do you? So the mums and dads come in immediately, and the other guy will generalise here because none of the mums felt the need to do this, but in the dads there was two distinct groups, dads that had worn work boots, and dads that came in sneakers. Yes, I wore work boots.

Oh, God, so it's brand new ones, I guess. Well, the drumming ones. The ones I wore last year is a baggage handler, which are not just work boots, but they're personalized work boots. So I'm leaving the house, so it goes, what are you dressed like that is? I'm going to come to the working boot.

The kind is only a block away. So she's, and I was like, I was early, so I'd say, do you want me to go and get your coffee? She goes, we can't go like that. What are you talking about? I'm just in short's work boots, a polar fleece. And so I go, we can't go to the bloody milk bar and costume. Why not?

And it's not a costume, honey. This is what I'm worrying to work in. And so it never works in your life. That looks like a costume. So it comes in and goes, we've just built a... Guys, it's not a costume. I'm doing real manual labor. Anyway, I loved walking around the neighborhood

in the gear. Get into the kinder work boot, dads and I, like already going, one guy went too far and bought like gloves, like, oh yeah. That's my dad's, I can't really have a guy. When he bought dad, he used to bring multiple pairs of gloves to hand out. Okay, okay, so immediately I looked at that,

I went, I think that's too far, work boots is cool. Yeah, my dad would be too far. I get assigned to bury there's some loose tyres in the back in there. What? Barry's loose tyres. Yeah. That.

Not a bad job. That was worse jobs. Alright. Barry loose tyres as well. Barry, Barry, they're in a half circle. So they become little seats. Oh, okay, yes. Let me finish.

I'm not just hiding them. Oh, we're just checking them over the fence. What the kind would become landfill? Well, a lot of the barrels of oil. Can you bury that as well? They would probably use it in another bit. One of the things the kids find out the kinder is the half a chassis of a car.

It's a pretty rustic kinder. We love it. So they're like, all right, hey, you're on this. And I got teamed up with the Sneaker Dad. Oh my god. Oh, okay. Sneaker Dad's not my god, here we go. Oh, okay. Sneaker, that's what everybody's doing. Over to you, Dad.

Even though, like, oh, pressure's on me here. Cause he's looking at me going, home with a work boot, Dad. You don't know what to do. So we sort of had to put Barry the tyres half in the ground, half out of the ground in a little semi-circuit, and make like a little camp kitchen for the kids.

So it's taking around a few ideas. Anyway, Sneaker Dad gets on the end of a shovel, can dig, right? It's like, gee, Sneaker Dad's all right. He's flying through it. And I'm, you know, we're hitting some clay, no worries, he goes against a crowbar, we're throwing a crowbar around, digging through clay.

Like, gee, Sneaker Dad's all right, turns out he's a tradie, he's a builder. All right. So, lesson one, do not judge a dad by his shoes. Sneaker dads can often be tradies in hiding, right? And work boot dads can be in costume. So you don't know who's who. Yes.

The annoying thing was he had quite a much larger tire, which obviously once you bury it, that's really buried in the ground, like a car tire. I buried a small tire first just to get warmed up. We were burying, you could live, we were burying five tires in a row. Right. I buried a small one. Some parents had bought kids, which was kind of instruction, don't bring your kids,

it's a working, there's going to be tools. These two young boys, like five, six years old, as I'm digging hole number two, I was pretty proud of my first tire I buried. As I'm digging hole number two, they run pretty proud of my first tie, I buried. As I'm digging hole number two, they run over to my tie, just rip it out. I'm like, it wasn't a big enough tie, to really bury with enough soil on it. You need a strong enough foundation.

To pin it into the ground, they just were like, you ain't getting out of like, oh guys, you're gonna hit your back, it's pretty heavily buried. It pulled it out. So, shamed me a little bit. But luckily no one really saw that, and Sneaky Dad was cool.

He was like, don't worry, man, we're just buried bigger ties. I don't think the little ones are lost. But luckily no one really saw that. And Sneaky Dad was cool. He was like, don't, man, we're just very big a ties. I don't think the little ones are last. Yeah, I was just warming up on that one. I'm going to bury a tractor tie on his again. You're going to be very jealous. That all dies down. Towards the end of the day, it was only a 2L working beef. The sausage sizzle fires up.

Man Sneaky Dad have done great stuff. Like people were commenting on how good the camp kitchen looks. We've worked up a sweat. But I knew I had an ace up my sleeve because Adam the head of the kinder had gone, hey, here's a list of tools we need for the working bee. Does anyone have a high pressure hose? Now because I only live with a block away, I immediately replied to Adam going, yeah, Matt, I've got a high pressure washer. Me, I didn't me. Me, me, me. I'm very good at it. In fact, tell the other dads. Don't bring you. I've got it. I'd bought it and left it hidden away.

And you people wouldn't have really seen it. And I'm and said to me at the start, because I came in with it. Obviously I was excited to use it. And he goes, well, we'll do it last. Because I'm going to get you to watch down all the concrete, because I've got a lot of grime on it, watch all the sand and everything off.

So towards the end of the day, it was all dying down. That's when I saw my opportunity. And actually, and I've sort of written a small story here. And that's why I've asked you to of the day, was all dying down. That's when I saw my opportunity. And actually, and I've sort of written a small story here, and that's why I've asked you to get the guitar. Because I just feel like the last chapter of the working bee would be appropriate to put to music as I went over and I got the high pressure hose.

And the high pressure was sisten out as all the other dads mingled around. And no one had really said, now we're having sausages. But the sausages started up. So you could tell, dads were sort of torn between going do I still work or am I allowed to stop now and have a sausage but I began high pressure hosing and this is what happened. So I go behind the shed and I pull out my high pressure hose. The other

dads turn to me. They know in an instant I've become something they could only dream of. I am high-pressure hose dad. The most impressive of dads at the working bee. Half men, half clean and machine. But before I begin hosing, I know I'll need some extension cables to do the job. The other dads looked on hoping I wouldn't find enough cables in my time at the top of the food chain would be short lived, but I'd already found three extension cables, and when I connected them I did that trick where you intertwine the ends so they can't be pulled apart midspray, causing them embarrassing loss of power. You literally have all the power.

So I begin spraying. But with great hydraulic power comes great responsibility. I knew I had to get my washing system right so there could be no criticism. But did you make sure you sprayed the pavement in a neat grid? I did spray the pavement in a neat grid. I was killing it. Grime was being blasted away. The dads who'd never seen one in real life just stared and the dads who knew how good high pressure housing is just gazed on with poorly hidden jealousy. Look upon high pressure, host dad, and marble at his finely focused jet spray of water. But the appeal was too much to one dad who was inching closer. wide mesmerized by my jet me clearly wanted to experience the power for himself

I doubled my seriousness on my face to send a clear unspoken message to him We might send our kids to this kinder to teach them to share but this daddy oh No, no, no, he's not sharing his He didn't get the message. He startled up to me and hands twitching in anticipation of having a go tried his hardest to shortcut his way into the alpha dog status. He said, hey, if you want to go and get a sausage

from the sausage sizzle, I'm happy to take over for a bit. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Ha, ha, ha, ha. Yeah, that's not going to happen, mate. But hey, why don't you go and get me a sausage Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha It was great. I flooded the back of the game a bit, apart from that. It's really good. It's really good. Hey, I'm fresh off the impromptu song. Yeah. That was great by the way. Yeah. Oh, I said you was pick five chords. Yeah, and you really, you really want to have. The, it made me think, gee, we've just, we've just written that song. We've got another song that we are promising the people. Yeah. It's our learning to, to surf song.

Um, we're coming together. Coming together. We talked to, uh, Lane Beechley last week on the show, uh, for a seven time world champion surfer. And she gave us a lot of areas that we should be concentrating on. The one I wanted to talk to you a little bit more about was, she said, said on average you hold your breath for eight seconds under the water. That's just long. That doesn't seem right. As long as a dumping can happen. So she said you got to learn to hold your breath. Well, she said it sort of sarcastically like,

can you hold your breath for eight seconds, which like a cat could do that. And we never know if they ever would. They wouldn't even know about holding breath. They wouldn't. cats actually wouldn't. They never consciously got on about a whole my breath here. What are they holdeth for? So another cat farts, they just breathe it. They would never... They don't go underwater.

They don't go into outer space. And that's not going to help you anyway if you're in outer space. So they would never have held their breath. Yes. So... Correct me if I'm wrong. HamishNani.com hit us up. Hit us up.

Proved show me an instance in history where a cat's held its breath. Oh! Oh! So, I thought eight seconds seemed short as well. Yeah. And what I would think though is we'd want to train to hold it much longer than that anyway.

Even if the average is eight seconds. I was. If our personal best is eight seconds, we're going out there and then we're panicking. You don't want to be doing a PB under pressure. No, exactly. I would say... I thought you were meant to be able to hold your breath for minutes if you're a surfer. I can't hold my breath for more than 45 seconds. So, say what if we pitched it like 20 seconds?

Yep. Like, let's all aim to do that as beginners. I think in the song, we should have an instrumental part where he goes like, or a solo, and he goes in everybody, and everyone holds your breath. Whatever. Yeah, that's a new dance. And then we play out this,

I thought you were trying to sneak the trumpet in to go, we should have a wind instrument. No, that has a 22nd long bit where you can't have breathed. Yeah, I can. And say what you say. We could do that. But mine was more teaching people the length. Yeah.

So when they wipe out, you sing it to yourself underwater. You sing yourself the instrumental. You play along in your head and you be underwater going, this isn't good. I'm still trapped under that rock. I know I'm coming to the end of the guitar bit, then we've just got the bongos. And maybe then I need to breathe again. That's it, and maybe it can't down halfway through.

So this goes like, you know, it doesn't end everyone hold your breath. We come into a little bit of a guitar riff, whatever it is, and then it's like, 10, up to 10. Nearly there. Don't panic, your body's got more oxygen than you think. That kind of vibe out of the tent. Neely there. Don't panic. Your body's got more oxygen than you think. That kind of vibe out of the instrumental

just to get everyone thinking that. You're sometimes hear stories of people holding their breath for five minutes. This isn't the tune everybody. It's a rap break down about breath. You keep getting tempted into trying to invent it on the spot. Yeah, which I think keep reminding people

that this isn't the song yet. It's in, we want to give in the song a bad name. We want people to get excited, the song's gonna be incredible. Exactly. So anyway, we're happy with that idea for an instrumental. I love it, I really love it. I love an inbuilt educational path.

Yeah, a whole breath instrumental. Perfect, thanks, but more long-time friend of mine. Probably a promiscor friend. Can you go? Marty. He doesn't remember that. He has vague memories of you being around, but he said things really began to click in you one.

So, Marty this morning, right, and And we're gonna play golf on the weekend. And we're talking, it was like vibing out the pickup should we do it going one car. And then I started telling him a story, right? And I just got the vibe. Did you finish talking about the car? Yes, it's like. So it wasn't just mid-legistics chat.

He knew he was gonna pick me up and I said, oh, by the way, just before you go and started telling him a story. I was watching this amazing David Aventonbro document. And I thought the story was good. What was it about? Broad strokes. Broad strokes.

It's about a friend of ours called Prousy, whose wife is a Pilates instructor. And I'd gone to this Pilates place for a whole year and thought it was a different, I thought his wife was a different person for the entire year. A personal story of a mistaken identity with the added twist of a one-year time. I'll add actually a little bit more in. I asked the, because Proust he's, he's quite pregnant. And I said, oh wow, how's it all going? How's Prénies' going to the wrong lady?

With the classic clanger, yes, of inquiring about the pregnancy to a non-pregnant lady. And that's when Beck said, what the hell are you talking about with Abby? And I said, isn't that Sammy Prousies' wife? She said, no, that was a story, right? I thought a good story, not publicly. I wish I hadn't told her on this,

but it was more just between two mates that were... There's a buzz buzz, it's better than sitting on the phone in silence. But halfway through the story, like all the feeling Marty just did, yeah. Yeah, well I have just had a show, stop by. And look, similar to this, I have had to rush the delivery and not get the... Sure, you budgeted it a little. No, not get the best out of it. Don't you please't do it again properly because we know what happens. So he was like, all right, cool, cool back to see you.

And he kind of hung up. What did you want from him? What I'd like to know is was he rushed? Was he going to? You think he was distracted? I think he was distracted rather than the story. I think the story was good enough. And he was distracted.

Good enough for what response though? What were you after? Oh, Oh just oh well, that's crazy I can't wait to tell Prousey coming a little down So you your feedback quite as often today. Yeah, you and horrible to do it on a podcasting day too because oh confidence We shot yeah, you would have been going to the phone call going boy a boy of I could have seen here for Ken dog Yeah, I'm avoiding all stories today I show because I've been shot. You should, yeah, you should because your radar is off. You're right. It's like that time where there were, you remember the 60s there,

that's the guy going, oh my god, rush us along to 200 missiles. Yes, yeah, it was a glitch radar was off. Your radar was off there and they got it back working. They're right. Luckily, I hope today cool heads will prevail and we don't have a disaster in our hands. Let's call Marty though and just see whether it was story based or whether. Do you want to? They got it back working there. Luckily I hope today cool heads will prevail and we don't have a disaster on our hands Let's call Marty though and just see whether it was story-based or whether it wasn't yes whether it was in our huge gamble Because your environmental issue

Ampling on him being distracted and if he wasn't this is gonna Shatter your confidence even worse I probably knows it's us. It's not the only one that's joining us. You've called Marty. Smarty. You've called Marty. Smarty.

That's the only thing. I think it would be you're embarrassing yourself. You're embarrassing yourself. I don't know. You're all in on this. You are all in. You might have to go home if this doesn't mean Jack would just arrest the podcast. Because if he goes, yeah, mate, I heard it, I don't know, it's done.

You've called him out twice. What are you called, Marty? I don't know, I call him one. No, you haven't. I'm calling him one speaker. I might just try it, no matter. Maybe he's just already heard the story from someone else or... Oh, mate.

Maybe just getting a mistaken identity story that's not as exciting as you think. I love you mate. The first was so long. Don't know him was a seagull out like this. It's just for the kid. You're a year called Maddie. He knows what's up, okay?

He doesn't want to talk to you, you board in this morning. He'll get back to us. Oh no, no, no, no, I don't know, we have to wait till we do. Just missed a call from Hardy, okay. We're calling him back. Sorry, I was able to take a call. Should I break? Yeah.

And he said literally he said, can I call him back from a private number? He said, what's it about? He gets nervous. Oh, that one second does pass. We know he's near the phone. Good day, you've called me. Oh, I'm sorry. He's insane.

Think about all the people listening to this commuting, like hoping that, like, download the talk to us to go, one of the boys have got for me today. It can't just be us calling Marty. Am I going again Andy? I'm, I'm, I'm gonna get going again. I'm not, I'm not, I'm terrible. Everyone else has gone home.

BEEP. The barman's putting the stools up. Hey man, she's not coming back. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

BEEP. BEEP. Good day you've called Marty, please leave a message. You know what I think he thinks it's about? Yep, yeah. And now I'm going to tell the story. You silly boy, Marty. And it's not about this, but Marty on the weekend took his new girlfriend away. I'm not even burning him.

And he's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming.

He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming.

He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. He's coming. on the podcast. You got a call back? Oh no, he said he can't make it. Is that work? Well, no. Now you did a junction here. Give us the story. Burn him. Give us the story. No, I won't give you this. Give it to us on the explicit show.

Oh, it's not rude. I'll give it to you. I suppose I could tell it and then add a few efforts. No, it's not bad. it's not a bad tell us. Okay. Well, you are. I mean, some sort of Marty can do. Okay.

He went, he went, it's not a great day for you. It's a story. No, that's not worried. Like, this is, and he's coming in a preseason where he's had four broken legs. He's lining up for the first match. He, he, I said, really, I said, you can pick up, he's like, what's it about? You really want to say what's about?

I reckon he thinks it's about this. But anyway, he got a new girlfriend. And he said, what are you doing? So I'm going to take her away to the Murray River. Yep. And I'm going to go out there for some camping. Well, that's nice. He goes with my brother.

He's whiff and their kids like, oh, wow, introducing like the new girlfriend into a family and camping. I mean, camping's tough. Camping's revealing. It's revealing. Family's tough as well. Family also reveals.

So he doubled down. Anyway, I turned to the Texas head. How's the trip going, right? And he just sent me back a selfie of him with his girlfriend and a tow truck driver because he's car broke down on the way there. And he was telling a boat. And so both of the men went for a tow truck

to come get his car, tow back the car, and the boat. And he sat next to her and they got towed back to Melbourne, right? So then in his story. He will, the way it's gonna stay there. Ah, just floating down. Get up, wait for him, he's just next to me. He's gonna be done?

He's gonna go. No, that was pretty good. That was good, that was a good thing. That was a good. That was good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, this is the story. That was funny. That was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good,

that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good,

that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, that was a good, a good, that was a good, that. Yeah, why don't you shake it off? You have to shake it off. I'd hate for you to go into a story down pal.

You got one? No, I could go get some good stuff. No, nothing's happened tonight. Say the next week. See you next week. Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at ham.hamishanandie.com