Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2019 Ep 44

Episode Date: March 20, 2019

1. Kilimanjaro2. Walk the Dinosaur3. The Pledge Off4. Way Home of a Dog5. Voice to text6. #1 chip

A list-snap production. Activate your internet. Cause the Hamish and the podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. 1 Ohoy everybody, ohoy do you, Hamish? I'm to you sir Ohoy, and even to you Jack Ohoy, hello Jack how you feeling about your new tracksuit?

Nice to have you once Great to have you once again Fila, Fila World renowned leisurewear company Focusing in sports, not a huge footprint in cricket. That's probably some, not a huge footprint in, not all sports.

They probably don't do all sports, but you can't be everything to everyone, but they probably, you know, they make a mean, I feel like that makes specialty issues, like a tennis shoe well. Table tennis probably, and Fencing Who knows. Are these for lure?

Mate, I tell you what, if you're looking for a velvador of a lure track suit, look no further than what we're wearing. I don't think we'll be changing the track suits for a while. Hey, mate. I'm just looking for a new year. It was a lucky dip and you got the... A Martini Green.

But actually, I don't mind it. Oh, you've made it. You've made it a jazzy, no. Martini, sorry, I just read the label. Oh, Martini Green's generation killer. Martini's a clear drink. I mean, the olive screen. So what you're trying to mean, the olive screen.

So what you're trying to say is Spanish olive green. Correct, but you can't call yourself Martini green. That's like calling yourself royal gold. Well, that's the color of the hat, but not the queen. Yeah. Sorry. I'm, as is tradition, we've got to say,

a hoi to Hannah. She's a hoi to Hannah. She's always Hannah from Sweden. And this is what she's up to today. Hi, hey, Michelle and Andy. This is Hannah from Stockham, Sweden. Today I'm taking care of my slightly hungover boyfriend whilst watching Vossalopet, which is the world's oldest and biggest cost country ski race,

where thousands crazy people ski for 90 kilometers. Take care, bye. You have a love at Hannah. Love it Hannah. Oh yeah, that's a great ski, cross country ski race. Yeah. I love that thousands of crazy people, not just cross country skiers, but also, I loved there for the Hannah where she was like, she's obviously feels like she needs to give

us some info and we appreciate it too. But then when, now I've given enough, okay, bye. You get it. Nine of K's, it's K-Rose. Hey, kick today to show off. Hey, ando, to start today, we, Jack and I have something we're talking about the other day. And I said, actually, I think we should bring this up

on the podcast. I've either got this very wrong or I might have uncovered some light fraud in Jack's life. Not credit card or money fraud. We all know he's capable of that. We add now to stealing. Add now to stealing. If Jack need, we bring up your old job.

Or what you do at the automatic checkout. Yeah, I stole some popcorn from my previous employer. Sure did. Just like bank robbers. Sometimes steal some of that sweet popcorn from the bank vault. If we're all talking crime lingo, yes, you got so quite a bit of popcorn down your sock. No, it's okay. You got immunity on podcast. Everyone knows because it's an international format. Yeah, you can't be prosecuted by any country.

No, this is more like I think we've uncovered fraud from some and we all know Ando has told Jack something or has certainly allowed Jack to think something that I believe to be false. The man in question is our good friend, Duncan. You went to our school with him? Yep. Through his girlfriend, his girlfriend, Jack's wife, they're very good mates.

They are good mates. Jack sees a fair bit of Duncan and Jack are mates. Yep. I'm not just trying to, you Yep. I'm just trying to you know I'm gonna try to cut you out of being mates with dunk Not as close as I'm doing as close as Andy and dunk so then you dare try and play back Jack But he's the thing I was I was talking to Jack over the summer break So there's a month ago now and we were talking about altitude

You know sick this yeah talking about hiking or maybe like Everest or something. Yeah. And I don't know. Just having a general church had about something. Talking about Everest and then Jack said, oh, I was talking dunce the other day. And when he climbed Mount Kilimanjaro, what did dunce say exactly? He said, we couldn't actually stay at the top for very

long because of the altitude sickness I was getting. So we only stay there. Oh, no, that's right. I asked him, how long do you stay at the top? Do you stay and take photos? Or do you get down quite quickly? that's right, I asked him how long do you stay at the top? Do you stay and take photos? Or do you get down quite quickly? He's like, oh, you can't stay very long at the top. Well, done.

I said to Jack. Did he really say that Jack? Because I always remember that Dunk did go to kill him in Joe. Baby didn't sum it. Oh, he didn't stay at the top, because he didn't get it. He didn't sum it. He didn't sum it. He didn't sum it.

Then he was dead at the stage when he came back. He was first person out of his family. I think he's mum, and Irish woman probably sleep all the time because he's mum. I think she, she got a lot further news. Yeah, exactly. No, she's mum. Don't got nowhere near the top of her way.

And you would say that dunk was certainly keen to give the group the impression or you the impression that he had summited. Perhaps he didn't directly tell a lie and said, I got to the top and I didn't stay very long, but by no means did he say, no, I didn't actually get to the top so I didn't stay any time at the top. He was giving everyone, there was giving the group information about what it's like at the top. I think it's a thousand feet short at the top. I remember it, I think it's implied lie because he's implied that yes, I've made it to the top. I didn't stay very long. He's a fun fact about the summit of Kilimanjaro. You can't actually stay up there very long.

If Dunk, like if it was a sponge cake, he got to the vanilla in the middle. He never got near the icing. He got, he got Ray Laya sponge or even a two Laya sponge. Oh, the three Laya sponge, he would have got to the second layer of cream. Second layer of cream. We just saw a nice meal, but it's not the whole cake. We should call. I wanted to maybe call. I think you've got to call, don't, Jack, and go. So, what do you think he said? I asked the question, when you get to the top of Kilimanjaro, can you stay very long?

Do you take photos up there or do you get to the top? Go, we did it and then straight back down. of Kilimanjaro, can you stay very long? Do you take photos up there or do you get to the top, go, we did it and then straight back down. He said you don't stay very long at the top because of altitude. And how do you been talking about his trip to Kilimanjaro? Yes, we had been talking about that. He was all, he knows what he's done.

Jack, don't say that we're here. OK. And just go, I was trying to account how long you're allowed to stay at the top. Yeah. Yeah, go. I'm thinking of doing Kilimanjaro. Okay. But I don't want to, you know, I don't want to, if you can't set the top right. I can swing. Hey, Duncan's Jack Post, how are you?

Yeah, come on mate. How are you? Yeah, good man. You know the other day when you got, you got, you in Balleroy from a dinner where you talk about Kilimanjaro? Yeah. Bianca and I are thinking of doing it. Are you in Bauerro for the dinner we were talking about, Kilimanjaro? Yeah. Bianca and I are thinking of doing it. Ooh. Do you think we could?

Yeah. What do you mean? Absolutely. I just didn't know how hard it was. Oh, man. No, no, she's at all. It's not a hard thing. It's just when you're up that high, altitude sickness can impact anyone.

So it's not a physically demanding thing at all. Yeah right. So some people get less lucky than others for altitude sickness. Yeah yeah yeah it's completely yeah it's completely separate. And what's a like at the top? So, yeah, it's pretty impressive. It's just, it's dark. It's my understanding that you never made it to the top. No, the tuncher, Andy, I was up there. I had a feeling there was a... It's dark.

It's dark, sorry. Obviously, I'm doing it here as well. The stories are swirling around here about if Killam and Jaro was a sponge cake, how would you have got to the cream, the second layer of cream or indeed the icing at the summit? We, I, I thought you'd point it back, no icing at all. You didn't make it at the top. No, didn't no family members make it at the top? No, no, no, no, they, um, they, the rest of the group made it up, no problems.

I got, on the final, I mean, it was the final morning ascent. I got probably within about 150 metres at the top. I got a pretty much done. Rounding it around some GPSs are on the active to 200. So, yeah, I've been there done that. It was a little bit of a, a beam there. It was good as it's going to get. So, I might have bit mad on that. Oh, this is a little bit about my... A bit mad. I'm just going to get some over I'll head back down. A bit mad. Oh, thank you.

Sorry to bother you. Jack told us, we're talking about when you summon a kill in Jaro and the QD come within 150. So you got quite close to the icing. But it reminded us that there was some different versions of if indeed you had been up there But it seemed like even when Jack was looking to you there You're not you're not not not came to jump in and correct people about the 150 Happy enough to let the story spread the view of the top screen Great We spread the view of the top screen. You're not good enough. I agree, mate. Thanks, mate. We'll call it a summer.

See ya. Anyway. Hi, mate. Hi, mate. Hi, mate. Hi, mate. Hi, mate. Hi, mate.

Hi, mate. Hi, mate. Hi, mate. Hi, mate. Hi, mate. Hi, mate. Hi, mate. Hi, mate.

Hi, mate. Hi, mate. Hi, mate. Hi, mate. Hi, yeah. Because V's gone, isn't it? Now V's still going. V's gone. V's still going. I think so. I thought V was out quite a while ago. Ah, I thought. Maybe V's just music now because I remember they said they were getting more full of VJs. Because remember it was like, I am, there's no shows.

It's just just music. Just 100%. Yeah. Which is what people get told in when they apply to be a VJ. Yeah. Oh, mate, no, there's no shows. No, it's just music. No, no, no, it's no shows. No, she's just going to end it. That's just music.

No, no, no, just clips. Just a direct part from the US. So music max obviously. The music max is good for a classic 50 song countdown. Yeah, it just piles through them, goes mainly from, you know, 70s, 80s, 90s more than your current hit. Yeah. One thing that I've really learnt recent times is, boy boy did they love an intro back in the day. Oh yeah.

Some of the intros go for so long without any, without a... I guess because it was the days of albums wasn't it? Yeah, it was like you needed to... There's just a rule of how long a song needs to be. The vocals can come in a minute in to a song. The equivalent of the... I mean the sitcoms. Yeah, exactly.

The sitcoms, intro, sometimes with, you know, I've been rewatching the sopranos at the moment. That's a minute ands. Yeah, exactly. The sitcom, Mintro, sometimes, you know, I've been rewatching the sopranos at the moment. That's a minute and a half, that intro. That intro. And that's as money in the bank. Yeah, the same thing every week. Would they drive in home from New York to Jersey? Money in the bank.

Would they play the full intro at concerts? They probably would. They didn't care, did they? No, they'd extend it. Yeah. We've, you know, cool boys in the front, and we weren't against extending our intro a bit. Also, a lot of verses back in the day, sure. Songs were a lot longer.

And the song, Walk the Dinosaur, came on. Do you know that song? For everybody to walk the Dinosaur. Good little example for you here. People don't know the song. I had a little bit of a dance along with it. This is the intro into the chorus. I thought maybe it's not the song I'm thinking. Maybe it's the song I think about. There it is. That's what I'm remembering.

Have you ever listened to the entire song? I have children. I don't have the free time available. But this song was out before your children. No, no, but to sit at home and I haven't gone back to the back of the log yet. I have no one listen to the whole song. I mean, to assume walk the dinosaur as a dance. There's a like you dance, you walk in the dinosaur round the dance. There's a little bit of a dance that they would have tried to do that and then a group of people dance at the end. So yeah, I can't

say I've ever listened to the whole thing. Okay. I was even this is the hymns. They open the door door Yeah, so the dinosaurs at your house Get a load of the last Course, so it's an until building Yeah, then the background of drop my pen You know the verse leads up to it, but I didn't want to boy with the whole thing, but this goes into the last chorus I killed it. I've been killed with dinosaur. Weed in.

They invited dinosaur round to our house. But it seems like a party. Everyone's gathering together, they go, oh yeah great, who's had a walk, who's had a walk. What time is it? Oh, it's getting late, the party needs to finish. All right, everyone have a go at killing it. Everybody good.

That's astonishing. It's what you would do in, I mean cavemen times, if you had dinosaurs around. Yeah. You'd be a friend to dinosaur, yeah, yeah, yeah, come over to this special thing planned. Oh, what is it? Oh, you'll find out. Yeah.

If you're wondering how they got it. I was at a walking thing. If you're wondering how they became extinct, there was just a lot of dinner parties. It's one of those songs where you always think it goes one way, but you know one would ever remember the verse. Look, that chorus, everyone killed the dinosaur. Can I throw one at you that I heard the other day? That there's a shock.

Finish this lyric. Once you take me to a funky town. Yep, you reckon it's that to you, Jack? Yeah. Won't you take me to a funky town? Yeah. It's why you take me to a funky town. We all forget the off.

I do. Bum shell. You did it. Oh, well, so I didn't have time to go into it to go into the music but i'll have a few next episode and and uh... of course one thing this podcast is famous for is uh... testing the claims and the skills and the sometimes brags but other times

amazing revelations of the people there is a very important podcast is that listen to this show part of the hamish and a podcast family have special skills who yeah claim they can do something really if not superhuman at least super human is just one you know if the internet's big it's an internet version yeah, well be human the um it's not the best thing in the world but it's certainly better than a standard thing than a regular yeah it's human. It's not the best thing in the world, but it's certainly better than a standard thing. Then a regular.

It's human plus. That's the level we like to play in. Hey, from times of time, we have, obviously 50% of the emails go to you, 50% go to me. We bring to the show an opportunity to fly someone in, that maybe lives into state, and it just happened that this week we both had one.

Well, I said to you, and I want to chat to my guy, because I want to get an idea of the skill. He's outside of Melbourne where we do the podcast. There'll be some financial, there'll be a financial burden on the show. If we're going to pay for it to fly him in to see this, we're going to be sure that we're seeing the right thing. Coincidentally enough, you're in the same boat, so. We've got a pledge today to fly one person.

It's a one-skill pledge. Someone will come to the show and test their skill. Now I hope they're both at a superior level, and it's just a wonderful round robin. I also hope that they're not both at a very sub-par level. And we've accidentally pledged an airfare to someone we know is gonna be underwhelming. Do you want to to go first to meet her? I think I'd like to go first. Okay. Elliot, are you there, my friend? Oh, we're boys. I'll be going. Oh, we're all

here. And the happiest of birth days to end. Oh, you've started well, Elliot. Thank you for relieving the burden on this wonderful birthday year. Happy birthday, you're again, Andy. No. Elliot, mate, I, I loved yours because you listed two skills. You can perfectly draw a line on a piece of paper to a desired length without using a ruler or can perfectly identify the length of a line drawn on a piece of paper to the nearest millimeter and you sign off with U-Choose which is better. Wow. If we said to you, Elliot, draw a straight line. Yep. 25 centimeters.

Yeah, or actually, I'd say 252 mil. Could you do that? I'd say it for your chance. What about this? What is your error? What if it's a minus five mill? That's maybe too hard for precision. What if you drew the line?

Yeah. drew the line step back and then told us how far it was. Is that easier? Yeah, it kind of feel like that's my specialty. Three to 10 centimeters. Okay, so you like to play small-ish. Yeah. Whereabouts do you live, Elliot?

What state? Oh, Brisbane. Yeah, I thought so. Okay. All right, great. Well, we've learned enough about Elliott. I think we've got a good idea of what Elliott's got. I present to you, Michael.

Michael, Michael, are you there? Yep, I'm Heliboy. Michael, thanks for being with us. Michael writes this. Remember at school how kids would spin their pen around their thumb? I've seen you do this, mate. I can, I usually can do it. I can do it with any object.

He's like a fork or something. No, he said it can be, it, including non-pen-shaped objects. Banana? I could probably do a banana, I reckon. It's an important qualification, you have to be able to hold it in one hand, so it can't be too heavy or liquid. Michael, I assume it needs some length on it?

I need a little bit of length, I can still do pretty short items. What's the shortest thing you've done? I can do it, even cylindrical things like a golf ball or like air bud stuff work. Air bud, you can get it round. And then what about the biggest thing you've done? Could you do a pull cue? Because I've done a pull cue. Yeah, I was I was fucking do, um, I saw in a couple of mates that I was going to be on his bridge and my skill. And I was playing pool with them. And I know I got shot and so I did a pull cue. What was the reaction like? I have been underwound, you know? I know, I can

I'm that one underwhelmed. Um, cause it's all about you to find that center of gravity, the balance, being a spin on myself. That's your first step. Is it impressive to see the bud go around the thumb? I mean, the quite, the small the item, the harder it is, and it looks kind of funny because you don't get like a nice, clean spin that you get with a pen. Yeah, yeah. Cause the pen has an element of flair to it, where for a second it kind of spins around like, I don't know, like a twirling baton person out the front of a marching band.

But if they were at the front of a marching band, just with a small Frankfurt sausage, to a thing around it. It's less of a visual, it's less exciting, isn't it? Yeah, it's a lot better when it's the biggest thing. Okay, okay, I think we've heard them both. Michael, let's put them both on hold. Michael, have a me here and maybe...

Let's just, I... We have a drone or something. Yeah, yeah. I... Oh, I see how you would go with our strategy possible. Interesting. I'm glad it, because I have some element of that skill. And I think I can do it to the level mic can do it But you're not as impressed, are you? Well, I know in my heart if I'm being really honest I've done a pull cue. I know I have, okay.

Yeah, not a big one. Not the biggest one. Yeah. Not the little one that's on the end, but you can't reach the ball. Yeah. Not saying I've done that. But I am saying I've done a small pool queue. I'm saying it loud and clear. So you'd have to know that.

Going into it. You would be responsible for 130% of the energy on the day. I mean, I like Michael's bid. I am more excited about it. Yeah, I think I think I can. I know there am more excited about it. Yeah, I think I think I think I can. I know there are very small lines though. We're talking about that. That's the other negative brilliant. We were talking about quite small lines.

It didn't send me the line. Yeah, that's true. Where did you get the three to ten? I sadly was disappointed by both. I mean, I'm erring towards the line and maybe for longer lines. We're going to get rid of a lot of lines to be fair. But I think it's unfair as they're disappointed about both. They both do things you can't do mate.

So you do it with Elliot? Do you want more doughnut running? No, no, no. do with Elliot? Do you want to do your own more drone hit right now? No, no, no. I think Elliot? I think, well, I'm not to ask Elliot if he would. If he could get to do 10 to 15, so I thought, Elliot, do you think you can do 10 to 15? I think I can.

Yeah, I guess I can. You're coming. You're coming. We're going to be like, get an elbow and come and jump to the show. And if we can have Michael again for a second. Michael, I love your skill, I'm a practitioner myself. I think that unfortunately worked against you on the day. Yeah, yeah.

If I was the best at drawing lines, I think that would have worked against Elliot. Yeah, it's my life. I think Michael's gone. Yeah, yeah. Michael's other really upset, or he's just not answering, or he has gone. Yeah, that's pretty nice.

He's struggling. I started growing up with gone. Yeah, that's pretty bad. I'm struggling. I started it very quickly at this point. It's a disappointment. Yep, I understand. Mike, I'm going to send you out a token of no value. It's very small. And you don't have no trouble spending it when you're fun. And it's about again, no value.

No value. This token is not a coin. It is a token of no value. It has no value whatsoever. Is there any chance on a hollow chicken feet shirt that any of those still fighting around? Jack? No, left.

Except for the dodgy side he's doing. Don't promote them. We're trying to shut them down. There is some fake spline around. Yeah, there are some fake. There are some fake splines. Well, I mean, you might as well buy a fake since the real guy won't produce them in. Mike, we're going gonna send you out 10 bucks

to put towards a fake holiday. To put it towards a fake holiday. Check in picture. 10 bucks cash and a token of no value. So a plastic oblong of $10 value? Yeah. That's the $10 note. I'm a token of no value.

Oh, see you soon, Alex. See you, mate. Ando, some exciting moving news. A heart of the heels a few weeks ago of the bombshell that you didn't see, Mary Poppins. Yes. Over summer. I wanted to take everyone's minds back to another film you didn't see.

You promised you would see Purpose of a Dog. Purpose of a dog, yeah. Purpose of a dog is a film that came out a couple of years ago, loosely, I think we can give a bit of a spoiler here if you haven't seen it, if you're going to see it you would have seen it. Was it a dog's purpose? Yeah. We just always knew it was purpose of a dog.

I can't remember, I don't know whether it was a dog's purpose or purpose of a dog. It's not a bit of a dog's purpose. I always remembered it his purpose of a dog. I can't remember. I don't know whether it was a dog's purpose or purpose of it. I'm not a big dog's purpose. I always remember it as purpose of a dog. So in purpose of a dog, you got a dog, you got a kid that grows up with a dog, then the guy grows up to his life. He has several dogs. From the trailer, it looked like he played

with a football with the dog. When he was young, the dog did a special jumping catch. Then he's an old man and he's got a new dog, a puppy, but he's old now. And the puppy does the jump and catch. And so the gist is that dog's been reincarnated his whole life. Oh, I think the dog goes off and lives

with other families, doesn't he? I think he gets reincarnated into other family dogs and then eventually comes speculation of a trailer. Of the movie that you got. That's right, that's right. That's right, he goes off and lives with other families and has adventures all around the world through the power of reincarnation. Jack's right. Jack's right. Jack's right. He goes up and moves other families and has adventures all around the world

through the power of reincarnation. And comes back at the end of this guy's life. Does the catch and the guy's like, oh my god. I got him and he's come back. Yeah. So it's purpose is what it's called. Yeah, so that's purpose of a dog. And everyone, and we beg you, you promise,

actually, on the show, you're going to take back to go and see a gold class. Yes. And you didn't back when we had the radio show. No, accidentally. Spinoff scandal ensued. The people in charge of releasing purpose of a dog were like,

please have the DVD, you haven't watched it. You didn't follow up. Beck loves dogs, your lukewarm on pets. We thought that chapter had ended. Could you imagine my surprise the other night when I go to the movies with my wife, I see a poster, way home of a dog from From, is it a sequel?

Is it a sequel? Yeah. It's from the same people that made purpose of a dog. It's called a dog's purpose. Are you sure that the new one's called way home of a dog? That's true. I might be called a dog's way home. But from the purpose of a dog people,

okay. Now we get way home of a dog. Yeah. I just think this is a sign. I think this is a sign from the cinema dog gods. Okay. I thought we might get back on the phone. If we got back up, we're going to give her a buzz.

Because I think she would like to know about way home of a dog. I don't even have been to the name of it. Knowing your reach, level of research. Hello. Back. Yeah. Sorry, Hamish. I'm here as well. And your boyfriend, Andy here.

How you going? You doing? Beck, I'm calling you with exciting news. Do you remember a few years ago when Andy promised he would take you to go and see a gold class, that movie, Purpose of a Dog? A Dog? It's a Dog's Purpose. Yes.

Yeah, you remember that? And you remember how he didn't do that? Yes. Yeah, gutting. You probably would remember how he didn't do that? Yes. Yeah, gutting. You probably would have thought you'd never get the chance again, but there's a new film coming out by the same people that made that film. Yes.

And it's called Way Home of a Dog. It's called a Dog's Way Home. And it's probably got a symbol of Ibe. I'd love to see it. It feels something in the first. Maybe we should do a first, maybe we should do a movie, maybe Marathon. Well, Andy promised, as just promised before we called you, that he would love to take you to see this movie. We'll do one. And buy you a dog. No, he wants to see the movie he

was saying. And then if he feels he said that will be the one, the last thing that would tip him over the edge to buy a dog. I'm not sure if it'll buy a dog, but I'll definitely go and see one of the films of your choice. Well, at least you buy a dog. To convince you, I think you should enter. To convince you and we got the trailer for Way Home of a Dog. A dog's Way Home, it's cool. I should point out though, I couldn't find the trailer online, but I have seen the poster, so Jack and I made the trailer

because I think we picked up the vibe from the poster. Okay, here it is. From the producers of Purpose of a Dog. I don't believe it, Skip, is that you? Roof, roof, roof. Oh great, it is. Comes the heartwarming tale of a puppy. Oh, here's this little guy.

I love dogs, look at this, a really young one. Who faces incredible odds? Where am I? A puppy no one thought would ever make it. You lost dog. You lost. You'll never make your way home And you're never gonna get there. You're just a cute puppy. You don't know where you are. Oh What are you doing here? Yeah? Skip back. I mean, other puppies that puppies You don't know where you are available now. Funny! For sale! Hey, run you Andy! I'm really running!

Yeah, that's a really good job of pretending to be a dog. And that's the trailer. So that's why you've got waiting for you with the movies. Um, I can't wait! Are you honestly? Honestly, you can't wait. I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog.

I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog. I'm going to be a dog. And that's the trailer. So that's what you've got waiting for you with the movies. I can't wait. Are you honestly? Honestly, you can't be excited about that trailer.

Andy, think about it. The dog's purpose was the dogging ran Canada. You can only imagine what way home the dog will be about. He's probably so lost. He would give himself less than a 1% chance of getting home and I bet you what happens at the end of the film. He does get home. Somehow we can. He's way home. Thanks. Well, Beck, don't you want to go and spend 90 minutes seeing a dog go home? Is it a 90 minute film? 96. Is it? You sort of looked it up. Yeah. That's good value. I just wanted to see that. Six bonus minutes of, I guess I bet you the dog gets home at the 90 minute mark and then the last six is celebrations. I incredible.

Do you want to go? Yes. Okay. We'll go. And then we get the dog after. And then we get the dog. We can, we're, yeah, we'll go to the cinema. Yeah. Go to one near a pet store or a rescue shelter. You should get the dog. We can, we, yeah, we'll go to the cinema. Yeah, go to one near a pet store.

Or a rescue shelter. You should get a rest. Spy back. Bye. Great news about the dog, go on your back. Hey, I like to call rather than text, don't I? I think that's probably an annoying thing for most people. You like to call, if you're in the car, you like to enjoy the efficiency of the blue

fit system. That's probably where it comes from. Text will stockpile up during the day and I tend to call everybody back. What is the rule? Gotta call this, like the president. This is your call, Chef. If someone texts, are you allowed to change for them? I've got accused of you not allowed to change formats the other day.

So as someone emails you don't get back to the via text. If someone texts you don't call them back. I've got a list of people who I would never call, but I would text. I think you're rare in the sense that, you know, if someone texts you like a work thing, you'll call them back. A lot of people, these days have forgotten how to talk

on the phone. And so it made a bit of a power move from your, but half, like you're practicing every day on the phone, building up your telephone skills, you've probably got, I haven't been in your car for a couple of weeks, I know it's been repaired, but you've probably got posted notes in your car of cool things, it's all about like topics and stuff, because you're on the phone so much, you've probably got a good phone game. Yeah. And maybe you enjoyed catching people flattin' with it. Or we wouldn't use to text it. Yeah, it's probably not that bad.

But it could be. But it'd be a little bit deeper, it might be that. But it is the efficiency. When you're in a car, there's nothing else to do. Do mayors will get back to people. I call all my, like the 10 I have saved as favourites. I'm happy to do a call. But I, it's, I reckon if you haven't talked to someone

on the phone for six months, you maybe will never talk to them on the phone. Like there's a list of people that it's weird. It would be, if I went through my text messages, 80% would be weird to talk to on the phone. Yeah, yeah. So I had to get back to the head of our television network, Ham Shandy Networks.

Right. The one we work for. Who do we put in the head of our television network. Hamza Andy Networks. No, when we work for. Who do we put in the head of it again? No, channel nine. Channel nine. Yeah, channel nine. So I was like, oh, I'll wait the car and I'll get it. Now, again, for efficiency, often, as I'm getting in, sometimes the phone takes a while to connect.

Yeah. I'll actually worry about it in your car. I'll stay honest. Yeah. Yeah, I'll actually worry about it in your car. I'll stay honest. Yeah, I did after I test drove the car the first thing I said to him, after he said to the phone, he was fast. I said the phone. No airbags, missing a wheel. Clearly a dog died in the back, but my god, the Bluetooth speed, I'll take it.

So hey, I've, it was, it was kind of connected. I didn't quite hear the message back message. It might have gone straight to message bank, but I thought I have a few rings, but I heard the beep. And I'm like, oh, I'm on for a message here. Yeah, okay. Right. And right as I just started to leave the message,

a cop car comes up beside me, really blaring his sirens and had been kind of stuck so he couldn't get passed. Right. So I was like, oh, well, I'll use this. So I said, oh, G'day, you, sorry, the cops have just got me. I've just murdered someone. So they're stuck, but topical. Sure, there has been a murder recently somewhere.

Just murdered someone and they've finally got me as you can see and they was getting louder and they were like, okay mate, I'm going to have to call you back, right? And then heard this. Your voice message is being converted to text. It will be sent as an SMS. Thanks for using Telstra's Message to Text Service. Makes it darker. Makes it darker.

Yeah, the message to text doesn't yet provide context of any background noises. You might be incorporating for a funny message. Yes. So, what do you think I do from you? I've left it. This is our first morning. I've essentially text our boss, hey mate, I've just been caught for murder. The cops have got me and that's the end of the text. Has he got back to you? No, hasn't got back to me completely. It kind of shows you where we stand at Channel 9. We're like, we're not the most valuable stars. It was Gaskin' earlier. Oh man, it was someone big.

There we go. Well, one of Hamish Day's been done for murder. Yeah. Uh, Charlie Pickering back up. And I wanted to mention something that came up a lot last week during Jack's surprise housewarming. Yeah. Sometimes accidentally, sometimes on purpose. But it started a few weeks ago.

We did cover this extensively. I assume everyone's listening to this in order. Jack a couple of weeks back in the podcast made a real song and dance about mission corn chips. Yes. Tortilla triangles as we later found out they're officially called on the pack. Yep. Right.

So he's gone, man, I love him. And we thought this is, he's mentioning this a lot. We've got a couple. He's not, he has done behind the scenes paid endorsements before. Yeah. Then pop up on the show. Suddenly he's mentioning a certain brand of hardwurst or a swishy chain. I've never done a paid endorsement.

I have got sushi for free one packet only and a Yamaha guitar for free one guitar. And what are you sleeping on at the moment? Koala mattress. I'm meeting his unbelievable. He's unbelievable. So as soon as a brand name sticks out of his mouth, he instantly goes, oh, here we go.

Here we go. This is something like three layered deal. He's probably speaking at their Christmas party. Yeah, exactly. Like whatever he can. Is it a two post? Two social media posts, three times. He speaks at their party.

Two sandwich board shows. What if Rick jokes? And I wonder what Lion Iron this is, and one sneaky mention, one SM. Yeah, one pretend like a one F-O-T-H, faux off the top of the head. One pretend like one F-O-T-T-H, faux off the top of the head. Oh, yeah, what I like, guys, this is chips. Right, so anyway, they caught wind of it,

of course they did, they were monitoring because Jack had promised them a mention. They sent us a whole bunch of the things chips. Some we like, some we didn't. Some of the flavors we went to, some we weren't. Too many, I would say, where the feedback was. The bus sort of sick of them by the time we got to Jack's house. And then we find out later, maybe the deal fell through.

Like maybe the check bounced from mission, because then all of a sudden, when we turn up, he goes, I don't really like these that much. So I don't know if Dorino's got to even the meantime. I was just trying to show that I am impartial, truly impartial, and nothing has gone on behind the scenes. Right, so then we were left very confused and embarrassed with about a hundred bags of mission tortilla triangles.

And in all that confusion that occurred to me, I think we're all like, you know, we like, you like, you know, we don't like, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don, we don't, we. Oh, what are you like? You know, we're trying to cater to his ever-changing tastes We never really had the conversation. I've been thinking about it all week. All right. If you don't like him What is my question to the team? It blows my mind. We've actually never talked about this as a group And it should it's kind of probably the thing that's most passionate to us What's the number one chip? Let's let's get it on the table and have an official all categories. I think we actually have to go packet it and hot

because I'll put my vote in for hot. I don't know if this chain's available in all states but schnitz. I never have those. They're incredible. The chicken I could take or leave to be honest. Which is, I mean, that's their main product. I mean, sometimes too small.

Yeah, too much batter. I'm not chicken. I would say K's their main products. I think sometimes too small. Yeah, too much pattern, not too much. I would say KFC, when done right. It's a high risk. They're, you know, it's like they're like that. They need the chef to be on. They're like a footy player who sometimes kicks a regular skull, but then goes missing.

True. You can't rely on us every meter talk every absurd. No, it's our case. But it's too inconsistent. You know, if you got a favorite restaurant though and you know, okay, Saturday mornings, I think Terry's on. I'm not sure, hang over,

venue of choice. And then I would back KFC. I think it's, because it also comes down to, if we're talking hot chips, and I think we are at the moment, longevity. You know, because a lot of like delivery says, like your Uber Eats and stuff, I understand if we're talking hot chips, and I think we are at the moment, longevity. Cause a lot of like delivery says,

like Uber Eats and stuff, but the place is a paid endorsement. But if I had to just pick one, I'd say Uber Eats, a lot of those guys, there's some places you're gonna get chips from, some you're not. Because they're not gonna last. Let's go back to packet chips,

because I think I'm gonna chips. What is the king? Who's the king of that world? I'm gonna throw this out there that I never disappointed when they come out. Sure there'll be times I prefer another chip but I'll never disappointed with a Smith's Crinkle Cut Salmon Vinegar.

I guess I saw him vinegar kettle because I'm a little bit more of an evolved palate than you. What a smell. He's lost touch with the common man. I have to get him kettle because I'm a little bit more of an evolved palette than you. What a smell. He's lost touch with the common man. He has a little bit of a kettle. Yeah, he's a good boy. I know a kettle is very up-minded. I've got to ask for a personal shift.

Does someone feed them too? I get a fan down to you. Yeah, if they were in gloves, I don't want the hand oil to interact with the potato oil. But, Sarton vinegar and jack, I do like a thing chip. I do like I do like I do so I would happily have a Doritos cheese supreme or a mission cheese Supreme or their version of cheese supreme which I think is called cheese supreme or extra cheese So you aren't happy with the standard amount of cheese is what you're trying to say. You need a supreme and extra,

you need the maximum level of... Definitely a normal corn chip would not be my favorite. So if it's a cheese, if it's a cheese, is there such a cheese corn chip out there where the food science has haven't done everything make candy to get the maximum amount of cheese molecules on the chip? That would be a good one.

Well, just like corn. I mean, I guess you would just go to the factory and have the seasonings stamped into try and guess. Let's get the sense that's where we're heading. Cornless chips. Cornless restaurant quality. Cornless cheese triangles. We'll probably be your best friend missions next product.

All right, can I ask one last quick question? This is why I said mission the other day instead of Doritos, because they just look a little bit healthier from the packaging may be. That's clever. Do you know what the cleverness of mission is? They have the clear window on the front. So it says we've got nothing to hide.

And I mean, we pointed this out on the way there. They do have something to hide because they advertise them as tortilla triangles. But with the breakage, often the tips broken off. So it's actually a rhomboy. So if I was there, my favorite thing to be like, you should be the last company that has a window on the front because you've lied about the shape and we could all see it.

MUSIC Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.