Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2019 Ep 46

Episode Date: April 3, 2019

1. Band chat2. Draw The Line - Special Skill3. Hamish’s cowboy hat4. Who The Hell is Hamish?5. The Duck Man of Aubas

A list-knock production. Activate your internet. Cause the Haymission and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. One! Ahoy, everyone. Ahoy, Andy. Ahoy, Ham. Ahoy, Jack. Ahoy. And Ahoy, Jason, in London, who did manage to upload audio with ease. Oh, the theme of the theme. On the website, he texted me after and said that was the easiest thing I've ever done in my life.

Obviously, texting you. Why don't you WhatsApp the audio. A lot faster, a lot simpler. One interaction. You always get your phone on, you don't have to fiddle around with the computer, a lot simpler, one interaction, you've always got your phone on, you don't have to fiddle around with the computer and the attachment. You can just do it off your phone, but it's the same thing. On the website. Yeah.

No, zoom in, pinch button, did that work. Jason didn't have that phone. I've got my phone, his birthday's coming up. Didn't ever promise it was so over, and that's why we found out what he's up to today. Oh, guys, it's Jason here from London, UK. I'm really sorry I'm whispering this because I'm at work. The time is 1741 and I'm on the toilet running the clock down till 6pm.

I'm playing score, match on my phone and hit me up for a game anytime. Okay, signing out, bye. signing out even though you had another 19 minutes to run on the clock, which is throughout up three games of score match. Certainly we'll have the he would have the red arse ring, but you know, the toilet seat. Yes. In which the imprint, which I've seen a few times on myself, not deliberately, but if I've really

done a big session just playing around in the toilet to avoid parental responsibility. Our bathroom in our bedroom has a full length mirror and you do sometimes get up and as you're tearing up, you see it almost bruises and you think... Boy, I've been seeing it for a while. I mean, I've just read the whole New York Times. I guess I have been here for quite a while. Your legs are purple. You'd have one of those going up. Tell us what you're up to each day by uploading. Sorry, we're working on what's up.

We know it is a lot easier. We know it. We're pretty abrupt into the music, bitch. The game finishes. Whatever video game that is we've got. We're sorry, I'm finished. No, no, sorry, I thought you was moving on. Jack had deemed that to be the intro. And a good point to move on because I'm gonna run this past you guys. Have you seen Bohemian Rhapsody yet? The movie? Yeah,

I just saw it. I saw two nights ago. It's one of those ones that's on the list. You know it's good. Yes. And people recommended it. Yeah, it's weird because it lacks that. If you're good and I discovered it feeling Once something wins the Oscar. I think everyone thinks I for win the Oscar. It's a slam dunk And because I think Rami won for best actor It actually more goes into like well, I know that's good for later I want the exciting thing now that that I want to discover something I want to be at the cost of telling people about the film. Luzer's Cuspenus. Yeah, opposed to coming to us some four months after it's out going.

Yeah, guys are so famous. Well, I would record. Have you seen a star as born? Yeah, I didn't know it was saying that. Sort of pods like it. It's quite expected. I mean, guy, guys, great. So I was Brad.

So that's on my list. But I mean, love, but Bami actually is great, but the reason I'm telling you guys about it, this isn't just me getting on a podcast and saying to people, hey, you know a film that won the highest accolades of film can win. I also endorse it months later. Because obviously it's about Queen, Freddie Mercury. Our band, two years ago, almost, one and a half years ago, the end of 2017, we went on tour

and we played We Are The Champions, a Queen song. Now they play that song too in the movie. And it, boys, watch the champions. A queen song. Now, they play that song too in the movie. And it... Boys, watch the film. Because... I've seen it, sorry. Yeah, okay, okay. Don't you think, Jack, it gives you a special prism with which to see it through because

sure everyone knows the song, but not everyone knows what it's like to be on stage playing that song. That's true. And for people who... We do. We do people who... We do. We do people who missed our performance 18 months ago. 18 months ago. We've got a snippet of it here with Vans Joy.

Yeah, bring it a little bit from our last show, Ja. As a from him. We will share you our way. We will keep on going to the end. So that's, that's, that was a Rod, no Margaret Court. The Rod Lover read my precinct. Yes. Because Margaret Court is just an example. But there are thousands of people in a stadium.

That was a stadium now in the movie. Now we should point out your electronic drums there. I was on key to, Jack on guitar. Yeah. But the people don't know that back. Sorry. So that was our final live radio show. That was the end of that band too as well.

Jack, don't you reckon watching, because it finishes the movie leads up to live aid, we're sort of queen reformed and they play a 20 minute set and that's their last song they play and everyone's just in tears and there's like 500,000 people at Wembley State and whatever was going crazy. Don't you reckon, Jack, when they're playing that, there's a bit of you going, I know exactly what that feels like.

I actually, you've watched the whole movie with that ever-remembered movie. What? We got the check-ins. That's outrageous. That's outrageous because it's a little... It actually feels to me, it's like it's a really interesting film to watch because you're like, okay, well, he's in a band that sings We Are the Champions, Free Mercury, we're in a band that does that song, so it's interesting to compare both bands.

Yes. It actually feels, I felt it had a huge cool boys over to overtones throughout the movie. I honestly I forgot until we saw Vance Joy and his gig the other week. When we saw him I forgot what song we played with him. Because I remember we played smooth and never tear us apart. You know when you can't quite put your finger on the most recent one? What when you can go? I'll say that. And we have played one song.

And you watched, we played the one song for three months. Yeah. And you watched. We flew around in a private jet to remind us. I don't remember that. Oh, okay. So you remember the fans for it. You remember what your job was, or what you were.

You watched a film about it, and it still didn't joke you memory. No point. Yeah. You know, these almost answers a question that I was going to ask you, because I'm side-note, but ban-related related I am being courted to be in another band I am it's the kind of thing you cut back because you want us to be of the band

No, I'm there's no plans for call was reform sunny at home. I thought you already wants to start a band I like it called pirate. Yeah, now Pretty cool name actually actually not a bad name for a band. Yeah, what got you. Called Pirate. Yeah. Now, pretty cool name actually. That's actually not a bad name for a band. Yeah. What's been on a concert for the family? In the backyard. He wants to be on guitar.

He said I can be on drums because he's seen the drum get at home. We don't have a lead singer at the moment. And it's actually interesting having conversations with Sonny about Pirate and like what we're going to do during the gig. And I'm like, do you want me to practice a song or just get up there and play? And he goes, I don't really want you want me to want to practice a song or just get up there and play? And he goes, I don't really want to do any work. So why don't we just get up there and play? Yeah.

While I'm talking to Sunny about pirate, the band, I often wonder what is a less professional band? Cool boys in the front band or pirate. And their elements where pirate is a slick operation than cool boys in the front, man. Sunny will have more stage presence than Jack. Oh, but he will he get the right notes? Well he's just, he's just, he's just, he doesn't want to practice.

He's just making one. Well, he's playing that little dog guitar you gave him for his birthday. Yeah, it's easy. And he's fast. Yeah, it's quite a fast guitar. That's the first thing you notice about it. Yeah. So after I play with a guitarist like that, they can do that.

I probably won't come back to Cool Boys. Yeah, I mean, how do you feel about that? Who's gonna sing? There's Chad that took that Ryan might, Ryan Shelton. Yeah, I mean, we have much better, we had Guy Sebastian fans, Joy. Ryan is, like, I suggested to him, Zoe. I was like, well, why on Mumgum come up and sing it? Cause no, no, she's an audience member. We can't lose an audience to him, Zoe. I was like, well, what a mum got up come up and singing.

Because no, no, she's an audience member. We can't lose an audience through. That's true. We are at the level where the gig is so small. If you get an audience member at the scene, you'll lose about 12 and a half percent of your crowd. So it's noticeable. Are you including the cat, the crowd?

Cats in the crowd. Now that's invited to the gig, but you never know where he's going to be on the day. It could be upstairs. This exciting hair now first interstate guest, Elliot. Welcome. Thank you. Man, this is a huge moment on last week's podcast where we determined you to be worth a flight and interstate flight Brisbane to Melbourne. Yeah.

You've come straight from the airport? Yep. And you probably go straight back to the airport, won't you? Pretty much. So this is a huge, we kind of have a combination in the build that we have. We do not. That just peeking behind the curtain a little bit here on the life of an interstate special skills tester. It is not a glamorous day.

I know a lot of other shows might do you get a full tour of Melbourne, you know, see the art center. What else would you want to be, just above Coles? Yeah. You're pretty much covering it all off. We do, I mean, get down there and have a look at Coles. It's an absolute... Ellie, one of the better ones? Yeah, it's really good. You'll find some real local stuff, tram cookies.

Ellie, you said on your special skills, you can perfectly draw a line on a piece of paper to a desired length without using a ruler or can perfectly identify the length of a line drawn on a piece of paper to the millimeter. You choose which better. Well, that's really what hook to see in that kind of level of flair at the end of the year.

Now, just, it's a guess of it like Superman going, well, I've got heat vision or X-ray. Well, I fly it. What do you want? What do you want? All right, I can do all through it, okay. So, how old are you, Elliot? I'm 18.

18, nice. Elliot, so you're legally eligible to win a coin if it all goes well today? We, I've got a test that has three stages. If you get through all three, that's an eight coin coin. An eight coin coin. Because that would be huge. Two out of three, that's a one coin.

You get a coin. One out of three or none out of three. One out of three you get our respect. Yep. Huge amount of respect and a token of no value. A token of no value. None out of respect and... I took it over. I was talking of no value. None out of three. Always have to assess that. We're not going to get that. We're not going to get to that.

Here's the thing. We've got the three events, I suppose, in this line triathlon. You did. We talked about margin of error last week. So when you see a line, is it fair to give you a plus or minus one millimeter margin of error? Yeah, that would be good. Yeah. So if you see a line, is it fair to give you a plus or minus one millimeter margin? Yeah, that would be good. Yeah. So if you go, no, well usually, like, they're drawn, I don't know how you've drawn them.

Is that like, you've drawn them, like spot on the millimeter? Yeah, well, I've tried to. But I think it's fair. Well, let us explain the event. Yeah, because even the thickness of a point. Yeah, because if it was like in between millimeters, then you gotta have that either side. I mean, I think that's phenomenal. I mean, just even the thickness of a bit. Yeah, because it was like in between millimeters. Yeah, you got to have that either side.

I mean, I think that's phenomenal. I mean, just guessing the closest centimeter would be to me an incredible level. That's a normal human level. What you possess is something right off the spectrum. What we're going to do is the first event, we give you the line, you give us the measurement. Yeah.

Second event, we give you the measurement, you give us the line. Can't use a ruler. So you will look at the numbers, I didn't heard of it. Third event, you give us the line and the measurement. So you destroy your own. You just freehand the line.

Okay. The only caveat we put on the event number three is, we'd like a plus five centimeter line. We'd like it above five centimeters. Okay. Yeah, not just a dot. We did, we went to you, well, we're massive shaders ourselves. We do like to for the centimetres. Okay. Not just a dot. We did. We went to you, you know. We're massive shaders ourselves.

We do like to investigate all shading options. Do you accept the terms? Yep. All right, good luck. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. So we're floating in to stay on our own time. One meal in the side and he'll be fine. To guess the least and draw the line. Great. Who's the grater? Us. So, please, glad that's the time. I've done it.

Yeah, right. Other was my. Great. We made an effort. We the time to start it. Yeah, right. Other was my, great. We made an effort. We did a bit of effort. So that's good. OK, present Elliott the Line Hem. Elliott, I'm now sliding in front of you on A4 paper, a blue ballpoint pen drawing line.

Elliott's investing in it to this. It's very interesting to see his face. It's like we've bought an NFBI code broker. Now he's using his hand just to get an idea as he put you out. Do you want to start holding a fist? Do you want to start bracketing it? So it's obviously less than a point.

It's like maybe the point. Six and eight centimeters. Okay. Yeah. Bracketing, bracketing. Is the way your brain's working now, it's just bringing it right down like what the realms are. Do you think it's...

I'm gonna lock in... maybe... 8.4. It's 8.3. I'm not! I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!

And when I threw it... I thought it was impossible. That is cheating! It was outside your bracket. I know, that's what he's been doing. When I drew it before you came in, I was a bit nervous. What did I say to you? I said, it's a fat 8.3 because I did worry

because you know what I have. I'm really a real cheap, not even a big, a big knockoff. And so it's a bit sticky when you draw it, and it rolled over a bump in the page, and I'd fun being fair, it probably is 8.35. Yeah. Like phenomenal. That is fun.

Okay, this kid. This kid has this kid. Remove that piece of paper. Oh, hey, all right. Now, and we're gonna keep that for prosperity. If you can pass Elliot the piece of paper, and we would like a line That is 4.8 centimeters long

No worries just did one for the Russian Royal family that was 4.7 so make you a customer a little longer than that He's doing dot to dumps Okay, so you put a dot on one end and a dot on the other. I like his technique. I like his technique. He'll connect it. He's looking at that now. This is really interesting.

This isn't it. Okay. What I would give to be inside Elliot's head right now is to see the grid. The grid. The grid. The grid. He comes to the line.

This is where he's sitting. And he's just connected to the dots at the end of what's he, doesn't matter, once you're happy with your dots. I can't connect them. And now, take us back before we, I can't do more. I can't do more. I can't do more.

I can't do more. That's okay. When the first time this happened, before we measure this line, you never saw you. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't want the extra meal to do. You told us a story about how you'd free-draw on the line in biology class one day,

when everyone else had rulers. And 24 hours later, you measured it, was weighing on your mind. Yeah, just thought. I got a measure of that line. It was really good. And then went back. I think I drew maybe four measurements. Yep.

Three out of the four, like very close. Mill of me to perfect. One of them was a bit of a shocker. Okay, let's hope this is not that out of shocker. You know that you, we now know you're capable of. Hamish goes into measure. You now at the same weight, was it a 4.8? 4.8 please, hey.

Yep. That's what I'd love you to read out because gosh, we all back in this. How you feeling, Ham? Oh my god, no gosh we all back is good. How you feeling him? Oh Are you kidding me? Close to it looks oh my god It is because that's the end of the rule is the beginning. It's four points. It's the skinny side of 4.9 Wow okay That's a good one! Look at him! Wow!

Okay, so we're down to the 5th this is your... You've already got a coin! This is yours, Elis. This is the first ever 8 coin coin? We've never, besides giving them to ourselves, we've never given that! And they're coin coin. Unbelievable!

I mean, people aren't going to believe this, we're filming this. This has all being documented. Hey, one more piece of paper. Mate, NASA's gonna get you. Yeah, I don't know what for because they have rulers. Probably measuring one. Let's I mean verified. Let's go a new 4.8 and requested. Yeah 4.9 Skinny side. Yeah skinny side. Yeah.

Skinny side. Our home is labelled in the piece of paper. So I'm going to be quiet. We've got history being made here, and okay. Okay. The final bit of paper. This is now where we... This should be the easiest.

You just have to draw a line and tell us how long it is. That's all you have to do. What's the thought process here? Are you picking your favourite number or your favourite line length? Are you going on... With a decimal point, are you just going straight on the knocker? I'm kind of thinking like, I know how wide an A4 piece of paper is. Okay, which one?

I'll try to see that one. You can try to think of loophole, but it would be amazing to finish. Yep. Oh, you know, not. Because it's like way cooler for like LeBron to win the championship without like going Oh, I just gaffer tape the other team together because I actually found out you could do that so In your in your own time

Why don't we say like we said plus five let's say plus five between five intense enemies plus five Five to ten do you have a line that you that's you go to the line that you often enjoy drawing? I said 4.3 is my like that was the that was the start of it. That was the start of it. That's below the five. Would you do an 8.6 just 2.4.3? Yeah, that's interesting. Kind of.

In this world. What do you think that is? He's just freestyle. It seemed like he was just freestyle in your mind. Are you clearly nervous? Because you said you do freestyle on your line. Are you clearly nervous? Because you said you do a really straight line,

but that one's wobbled all over the place. This looks like it's come out of a seismograph. Yeah. OK, Elliott. Tip to tip. Point to point. What are your aches? And that is?

Thinking 7 to 9. You're turning here? He's got a finger move as me here Quite a few different moves here as he is the double the finger I'm gonna lock in 8.7 Let the record show we don't have a lock-ins. But if you'd make for it, it doesn't.

It does make it sound like outside the studio, we send tail-in and don't you dare change the things. Okay, go for it. And, official ruler, it's going in. Oh, I've been already see before I put it on it's not bad. He's very close. If you're 8.7 what is it him? He looks closer. I'll need a second ruling here Andy. It's in 8. It looks like it's in the 8.9 region. Oh my god. Do you like it or do you want a second? I want a second one because I have to I'm reading that as generously as I can as an 8.88. Oh, okay.

I'm just a normal roll. You give me a reading. Because it needs to be 8.88 to be in the realm. And I'm reading it just above 8.88. I'm reading it just rule. I can't wait. You give me a reading. Because it needs to be 8.8 to be in the realm. And I'm reading it just above 8.8. I bet this is... Yeah, no, yeah, you got it.

Oh. Why? I bet you would... How? Unfortunately. Famicilia we being here. Not fair. It's 8.9 in plus.

It's 8.9. It's 8.9, isn't it? I think it's safe to call it 8.9. What do you read? It's an.9 plus. It's not 9. It's 8.9 isn't it? I think he's saving Caller, 8.9. What do you read? It's an 8.95. Hey, hey, hey, that's a perfect service. I mean, he's really good.

I'm so good. That's the ruthlessness of an 8.9 coin. Are you really? That's way bigger than I pictured. The coins? Yeah, no, I'm expecting that. Yeah, exactly. That was one of the most incredible skills

I've had on the show. And the energy to coin glad, I mean, one millimeter from an eight coin coin. Amazing. That's the toughness to get an eight coin coin. As Andy said, only me and him have ever got the coin.

Well, you know how rare they are. Elliott, thanks for taking the time. Make congratulations. Mate, stay in Melbourne, go blow your call in somewhere. What do you call? Coles. Yeah.

Yeah. Ando, quick question, not angry if the answer's yes, be honest. Do you have my cowboy hat and my white alligator? Just kidding, cowboy boots, because I cannot find them. No. You know what I mean? You know the hat I mean? The white mane, cause I cannot find them. No. You know what I mean? You know the hat I mean?

The white one. I do know the hat you bought. We bought it on Caravan of Carage. Yes. Best you can possibly buy. Yep. And you said you'd use it. And you were trying to encourage me

to spend a lot of money on a cowboy hat. Yep. And I said that I'm into waste of money. Got it in Texas. Yep. The 2008. Yep. Or 2008.

I came back into play. Sorry, I thought you meant $2008. No, you really said $2008. No, or 2008. Came back into play. Sorry, I thought you meant $2008. When you said $2008. No, you're shocked. Got him down just. Got him down to 2 grand, even though. No, I'm... Everybody met 10 years ago.

I think we've been at... Original caravan of carriage. Original American caravan of carriage. That is when I bought that hat. Loved it. Served me well. Used it a lot when we raced Fred Bassett on the radio show for a long time.

Listen to me, can you hear my Fred Bassett? And that's why that was the last time I saw it. I was positive I had it around the head. He's the thing. That head is, it's the best you can buy. It's a very good head. It was the best you could buy. At the time when we're in Texas or wherever.

Now, but, to your credit. Thank you I'll take whatever's coming up hats Unlike technology it's probably still holding its value to my credit Stop I at the time. Yeah, you that it was worth those $2008. Here's the thing, I've, from memory, three to 400, wasn't it? No, no, no.

Three, maybe three. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the best you could get in the store, Jack. And hanged, hanged, got down. I'm one of those guys up at home on the plane because I didn't want to crinkle it. Yeah, he, he considered, he considered buying a hat case. Yep.

I got a suitcase. It's like a tissue, though, on the way back. The sleeping fat. Yeah. And I was like, mate, you can't throw another $0.9 American dollars. I'm just insuring, I mean, yeah, it is a scam, but it's like getting the extended warranty.

That's where they're trying to get you with the hat case. And you outfrainded Tim. He wore his back. He wore his back as well. He was a great felt one, more of a formal guy by hat. Now I'm just for a work in man out in the horse to protect you from the elements. Anyway, love that hat.

I've always known it's around. Yes, I don't check on it daily. But we've got a 40 of this weekend, so and I. And the theme is a bonfire. A Western theme bonfire. The interstate for you, if everyone's going out of control, dressing up for this Western theme.

Soon as I read the invite, I punch you. Yes, it's come around. That's why you keep your props and your hats. It's better than a prop. That's why you keep the best thing you own. And then the alligator boots, I like fake crocodile whites can alligator boots. So excited.

Couldn't find it anywhere, and I looked at our TV office at a production office with all the cupboard with a junk in it from all the stuff we've worn that has someone's organised that. Who did that? Sorry, me too, man. When we pay someone to go around. Super neat in there.

I asked around the other door and said, no, did you have Jaybok? Well, I looked around, no one's seen the hat. It's like okay looked at I'll talk the place apart when to my props cupboard at home. It means some stuff in there I'm just I never say never but I would trade any of that for the hat. Yeah the bear the my bear suits. Yeah Catwoman suit Catwoman custom Catwoman suit astronaut stuff. Yeah sailor cap you know, basic, lost vagus, as far as I'm, I don't need that, I need my cowboy stuff.

Yeah. I just couldn't, it's just, it's got to the stage where I'm like, I must, well, I can't even say the words. Like, that's the word. I can't even say the words. You could say that out. No, I mean, it's got to be.

It's got to be, if you've spoken to your wife, she got, she did a junk. Oh, she always is always is She's always got those big red white and blue woven bags And see people work at markets dump all the shit into at the end of the day and take it home She's we have one of those going a week in the house and she's trying to clean out all the stuff I've got She promised me she hasn't touched the hat. I don't want to say but it's got to say to her I've thrown it out It's like a movie where the trailer where the plotline is you know She promised me she hasn't touched the hat. I don't even want to say, but it's got to say to her, I've thrown it out. It's like a movie where the trailer,

where the plot line is, you know, is it the fugitive where it's like, how you killed your wife? And it's like, I definitely didn't. And they're like, well, maybe you were drunk. Like, you have, and he's like, I know I haven't. I've got to solve this mystery. That's how I feel like with the hat.

I didn't throw my hat out. Stop things happening to it. The 40th scene a couple of days, I was like, well, I have to go and get another hat. Went to a vintage store. I've got to build this cowboy outfit. Went to a vintage store. I was devastated for now, as you can tell.

Did you consider going to Mexican long boots? Yeah, I did. And some brae-roes are almost impossible to get to fit my head. There's straw ones too, but you need the decorative one. No, yet good call. Because we do have those in the cupboard. We went to a small place in Mexico where the longer the boot, the need the decorative one. No, yet good call. Because we do have those in the cupboard. We went to a small place in Mexico where the longer the boot,

the better person you were. The more respect you get, and we made like two meter long boots. So I go to this vintage store and I find a black cowboy jacket with the tassels and stuff. And we're bigger guys, it's tough to get vintage stuff to fit us. I get that. I've got black jeans.

I've actually got black boots. So suddenly I'm thinking, oh, oh, the black cowboy. That's who I'm going to be.. I get that. I've got black jeans. I've actually got black boots. So suddenly I'm thinking, uh-oh, the black cowboy. That's who I'm going to be. That's where my, and like, maybe it's a blessing I've lost my white hat. I'm calling every, I got like four vintage sources to try and find a black cowboy hat. And who's got it? And I've got, I don't have a normal size head. I got to be of a pumpkin up here. So I'm so close to finding this perfect outfit. Then this, this, this one vintage shop goes, I look, there's a specialty hats store around the corner, like a hatter. I go round to the hatter. I heart still a bit broken. I walk in and I go,

do you have any cowboy hats? I said, I know they're not popular at the moment because a lot of places sell for doras and the flat hats, trendy hats. There's no big cowboy hat mark. Bolas, Bolas back. Would be even ahead of cowboys at the moment, which is so... I'd rung some hat stores. Melbourne, in a city Melbourne, it's hard to get a cowboy hat. It might be different in Queensland, WA, the more of a rural area. There's still a worn item, but no one, you don't see anyone in Melbourne in the cowboy.

Urban cowboys. Urban cowboys, they're out. So no one's selling a new one. I walk in and I go to this guy, I go and mark at this hat store, he goes, I said, I've got a big ass fee, I need a cowboy hat. He points for what he goes, you're in luck.

And it's the white, it's exactly the same model that I used to iron, but my heart broke, because I've built the black cowboy already around this. I was like, you can be top-deck. No, I mean, that's what I was thinking. I was like, you know what, maybe I just have to be. And it's not good because I already imagined my head the black cowboy. He's a bit of a loner.

He's, if I was able to complete the black cowboy out, I'm going to go to the party, the bonfire, and just not talk to anyone. I hang around, just gaze away from the street. Yeah, hook my thumbs into my belt loops and not chat. And everyone's like, oh, he's like, what a mysterious white cowboy. And the white hat wouldn't do it. So I said, unfortunately, I've got bad news.

It has to be black, which is a huge ask. He looks at me and he goes, slicehead-y, that's the bad news. I've got a bit of a watermelon head. Not a pinhead. Everyone's a pinhead. He looks at me and he goes, so I said, that's the bad news. I got a bit of a watermelon head. I'm not a pinhead. Everyone's a pinhead. I'm not one. He's come with me. Took me out the back of the hat store. It was like, some of my felt like I was in the other jeans.

Yeah, it was like, I could've seen his old car machine out the back, which I know is a different movie, but it's been in that era and he's a hero of magic. And he starts from, and he goes, my own personal, I got bought something a few years ago for my own personal collection, a vintage stetson, and I went, is that a cowboy hat?

Yeah, it's the, the cowboy hat. It's like John Wayne, the cowboy hat. It's black. Rommage around in his own gear, pulls out a hat box. I mean, oh, nearly bought one of those. It brings it down, opens it up. And pulls back sort of tissue paper, it goes, it's never been worn.

It goes, I bought it, but it's just not made. The hat doesn't work. It's beaver-pelt. Brush black beaver-pelt. Open said I mean, it goes, you can have it if it fits. I put on a not jerking in the back room, they had one of those oval standing mirrors that was gold edge, so it really felt very,

I know we're struggling for movie analogies here, but you can imagine the movie. I was gonna say Narnia, very confusing, but I pop it on. Perfect fit. Wow. Unbelievable, right? I've gone this wild goose chase all day long, I was looking for a hat.

I literally had spent eight hours on a hat. He's a busy guy. Kids were a kinder. I'm just, I have to tell someone, right? You're faric. Do you know the reason I've told you this quite long story, right? I couldn't believe the turn of events. He looks at me and goes, it's yours.

He goes, you have to have the hat, not for free. Again. We didn't talk money actually have the hat, not for free. Again. We didn't talk money actually until we got to the count out. There reminds a mint condition vintage sets. Yeah, yeah. Not for free. No, not for free. Some monies were exchanged, started with a two.

And look for a stetson, you know, you're going to wear it a lot. So. Started with a two, but you've got to have spent the whole day on this and it's a vintage Hopefully for the first and an eight Started with a two we have three digits low two we're doing low 200s Which I know is a lot for a hat but again, yeah, I'm in all time. I'm bloody living the fit Right and we he couldn't believe it either and because he's a hat guy He sells hats so to find someone that needed such a specific hat,

and he's had this for 10 years, we were just a high five and customers in the store couldn't believe it. Huge vibe going on. Now, like I said, it's been a lot of the day on the hat. So when I got home, I was a bit late. Just in a time I was actually being the supermarketing home. I picked the wrong time to tell Zone.

Because we've got the kids, the yellow and then, like really checking stuff on the floor. But I had to tell her. It's like, you're not going to believe the hat journey. And I go, so I'm probably, as we know, this is a long story. I was probably five per se in it. So I go, so I'm at the second vintage store and I'm trying on hats and they don't fit. So it just looks me and goes, hey, obviously you got a hat.

Yeah. Stop. What kind of hat did you get? And I went, well no I'm trying to... Yeah. Just wait, that's a very exciting story going on. She goes, I don't have time for this. What hat did you get? You obviously got one. Did you get a hat? Yeah, it's...

Well, hang on. LAUGHTER Watch the whole film. Enjoy the whole film. Don't just fall into the end. It might be good. You you wanna hear about the mirror, the kind of backroom, it was. She's like, what did you get? What did you get?

Did you get a bike one? Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I loved it enough. Did, did you? I want to say thank you to you guys because I needed to tell someone that wasn't trying to feed toddlers. How good the hatching was. I can't wait, I can't wait to be the black cowboy or whatever the Spanish translation is because he thinks he might be Spanish. It's Zorro. No, you're actually, I'm not doing that. I mean, I could.

Do you have chewing tobacco? Do you end up? Pills gone off. No, no, but do you have chewing tobacco? Do you end up? Bell's gone off. No, no, but do you have chewing tobacco? Of course. Gasp, sadly. Hey, Mew and I wake up in the morning, log on, check the podcast charts. Yeah. Make sure that we're there, there are about to the top. If we're down, we go to the coaches, we go,

what can we do this week? What's this science podcast? It's our stuff works. We know our stuff works. Exactly. And then our series of podcast coaches go, this is what we need to do to get back up the ladder. And we try and put that into practice throughout the week. Well, it's a full time. It's a time of life day in day out. This is a seven day a week affair. They're 45 minutes that drips out on a Thursday. That's just the resin. Really, that's the absolute, that's a slow, cooked broth. That's what it boils down to. But you should see the, oh, we chuck in at the start. That's the game, but all the training, the lead up exactly. Exactly. And part of training is assessing the lead-up, exactly. Exactly.

And part of training is assessing your competitors. Yeah, right. And so I've been listening to a podcast at the moment called, which caught my eye. Number one at the moment, actually. Number one. Yeah. Called Who the Hell is Hamish? Oh, yeah, yeah.

I've seen this come up a bit. Because I was nervous that you'd gone and started your own podcast. I'll be up. I guarantee you if I was saying my own podcast a week, we called Who the Hell is Andy. So, I have a lot of people sending me this. A few people sending me art with my face on it. So it's a very popular podcast at the moment. They're liking it.

And I started listening to it. It's good. But at the very beginning when I started listening to every criminal. Yeah, every time the guy's number, I'm number one's always crime. You can't be crime. Every time the person was referring to a haemish, obviously you're kind of the only aemish I know and I couldn't help but think it was you

to begin with. Hence, I have created a podcast. I've used bits of theirs to put the proper haemish in it. Now I'm gonna tell you, because I don't trust anything going on this matter, I lost about $800,000 that my family's money. Yes, family or bankrupt, me. And I hope that Amos goes to prison for a long time. It's called Extreme Heartache of My Hand.

My wife almost divorced me because she lost her entire life savings. Hamish was a sociopath. I can only assume the angry man on the phone and his wife invested in one of Hamish's ideas. I'm not sure where the Ham was trying to do a run of human size chicken suits that lay eggs, a commercial level or whether it's looking for investors for another run of Andy by Hamish the Cologne without signing off with the face and me and maybe it fell over because of that. Yeah, I don't know.

Hamish almost ruined this man's life. Like so many others, he's still in recovery, suffering a form of post-harmish distress syndrome. The width and depth of Harmish's deceit and destruction is vast. So vast. I mean, I know he heard Ricky Lee Coulter, the singing sensation. She'd have something to say if you could track her down. I remember I was asked to sing for his band, Cool Boys in the Frontman, and when it came to the big end moment of the song, I paused for effect. Only to hear Hamish sing the final line from behind his electronic drums, and he can politely stall my big moment.

I still have nightmares about it. This is what happens when you're getting tangled is someone like Hamish. You find yourself with people and in situations you never imagined. He once said you'd get me a skinny latte and come to think of it, I can't be entirely sure it wasn't full-cream milk

that I drank that day. I vaguely remember an incident with the host of a current affair, Tracy Grimshaw. Trace, hey it's Andy here. Sorry I know it's a bizarre question but have you ever had any negative dealings with Hamish Plague? No, not that I can think of. Right, right, okay. Would you mind saying something negative just so I can tap this little sketch using some sound bites out of context from a completely different podcast? Um, sure. Hamish is an absolute asshole. Tracy with Hamish's final victim, the last member of an expansive cohort. Next episode will detail the extent of his destruction. If you know more about Hamish, please contact

us head to whothehellishamish.com.au If you thought Hamish couldn't stoop any lower, buckle up. Well I'm not dubbing myself in. They barely scratch the surface. Cover things there Jack. Of course I get you a full out. Well no thank you would be a shima wouldn't get a thank you for the coffee if I got you a full fat coffee. I don't feel comfortable talking to Hamish Put the interview back on only if you listen to it it does it will feel straight View how many people did like this? Hey, wish they never be like you watching Shorsang as Redemption

We're like, you know Andy Andy should never have been gay Some birds are too beautiful to get Some birds are too beautiful to catch. I come to the show within with a request or a hope of favour we can perform for my father. Does it require a three or the greater listening? You guys are important because I need someone to talk to. Yep. How? No, if you want to do a personal message, yeah, let's take, go for a walk, fellas. I've got someone to say no. You're important as always for the other side of the conversation as I hope I am to you. But then it will be to the greater podcasting audience, specifically those for reasons

that will become clear near France. I don't know how many French podcasts we have or expats living in the French region. Don't know either. But I hope there's someone that can help. So the other day I'm talking to Dad, right? He's doing about a trip that they're going to take to Europe and the Middle Year, Dad and my stepmom. I go, he's telling me that I tend to, he sort of mentions a place I've never heard in

France. I can't remember the name. Very small town. Like, what are you going there for, Daddy? He goes, oh, you're going to go to the duck market. The duck market. Right, and I said, yeah, what's the duck market? He goes, oh, I was a small, we've been there before, we went five years ago. And it was a first day market or something, or like a Friday, a weekend market in this

tiny town that sold duck, like roast duck. Roast duck. Food. Food. Yeah. I was going to say, I was going to say, pacing duck, but I think it was more of a French preparation duck breast.

Okay. And it was the best duck that I'd ever had in his life. He tried to explain it to me. It sounded a lot like other duck to me, but he was like, no, no, you don't understand. It was very juicy. Yeah. Look at whatever. It was great duck. Like finding a hat. Yeah. After't understand. It was very juicy, whatever. It was great, dark.

Like fighting a hat. Yeah. After a while. So dad is a strange character, because I was actually saying to dad, oh, you should come and come with us, our family. We'd love to see you on a family holiday, and he said, I can't, because I'm going to France. I'm doing this thing at this time.

They've booked the only Airbnb that's available in the region for this time. With no, all they've done is booked for a Saturday, or I think like ran about the same weekend that this was on five years ago, hoping it's done. Hoping the duck guy comes back to the market. All right, so it's not even a duck. So it's not a duck market, he called it the duck market.

It's just a general market with a store. With a duck store. With a duck store. And he's hope, it's like getting at one of those nice Dutch pancakes, a little pancake, the privileges. And mean, it's like getting one of those nice Dutch pancakes. It's a little pancake, it's the Prophidages. And going, I must remember to go to the Melbourne show in 10 years time, I enjoyed those pancakes.

But better, because it's this duck and dad can't believe it. I don't know how old the duck doesn't eat it or whatever. Are you basing these whole trip on the hope that the duck man is back at the market, on this particular weekend, but no way of checking, because there's no market organiserying. I was hoping that someone lives in France or nearby and knows this area. Well, you need to get more information about that. That's okay. Let's call Dad quickly now. If we can get the town name out of it.

Yep. Any other clues? Maybe we can get some info. Name. Hello. Dad, it's me and Andy, how are you? Good, my good. Hey, Nolan. Hey, Dave, how are you, Andy? Dave, Dad, the heads up that we needed to call him.

Gays in a car at the moment, he's in a taxi. He's busy. Dad, I'll keep this quick. I'm hoping that the podcast that our podcast can perform a service for you. I just have to write it. Yep. What's the name of this town you're going to in France

that has the duck market out at the guy at the market's the name of this town you're going to in France that has the duck market at the guy at the market that sells the duck? O bus. AUBAS. O bus. Right, O bus. We. I was just trying to recap or recount the story to Andy.

If I got this right, when did you go there last? About three years ago. Three years ago. And it was just a general weekend kind of market. What's your weekday market? Weekday. My first day night. This day night.

And is it every Thursday? No, I don't know what was it before, or last Christmas, or every Thursday? It's only in summer. Yeah. So summer first days, and so you've booked your accommodation in O'Bass, which you go inside with the Thursday night,

you're hoping a duck store will be at a market. Well, yes, that's right. She's definitely one of them. Well, good, I've got to have recatted it properly. What, do you remember the guy's name or is there any... No, no, no, no, no, no, he was just... What do you look like then? Well, it's more than that he turned up at the car park.

The car park is just a riverside car park and in amongst the trees they have some benches put out there for the local people to come around and he turned up with his car pulling a refrigerator trailer with drop down size which then exposed the refrigerator at ducks pieces. Yeah, but you could come and choose. So, look, he had a barbist. Oh, a new circle barbist. He's selected cold duck and he'll cook it for you.

That's it. And he sounds very mobile. So do you know that he comes past like often to this area? Well, I think he comes every Thursday. And do you know that he comes past like often to this area? Well I think he comes every Thursday and he's just basing in that on the fact that five years ago he was there one first day. Yeah that's it. Well that's what I'm hoping. Once he's not, we hope it's a trend. Yeah.

How old was he? I mean it's five years on. Well he helped us. He helped us as well so it it was a generation to family be. Right. And it looked like it was booming. So there's no, you know, like the, ever-raising to think it. Absolutely.

And the kind of, the kind of mobile to miles around to come to this market. For the day. Okay. And so it's the kind of mobile duck barbecue you look at and go, that guy's going to have no problems keeping your float for the next five years. Absolutely.

So what we're hoping we can do that is we, this mess, you know, podcast goes out globally. We're hoping we'll get someone in France that's listening to that. Might be near a more bus. Or bus. That can maybe shed a bit more light on who this guy is and give you a bit more of a solid probability

as to whether or not he'll be there on this first day. Very considerate of you, Pam. I mean, I won't actually cry myself to sleep if he's not there. Well, I'm looking and having had the experience once I've got caught, I've been here again. Well, Chris, you're pardon him, right? Because you're making a go to a tiny town. You're stuck again.

So for Thursday, it's a long way to go for no duct. We need to get stuck. Duck confidence. Yes, we all like duck. That's all we need to go for no duck. We need to get duck, duck confidence. Yes, we all like duck. That's all we want to make sure for that. Ducks are in season. We were hoping to increase duck confidence by the time you guys live.

Let me give you a hypothetical, dad. What if we find out, oh yeah, yes, someone emailing, he goes, yeah, yeah, that's Pierre, the duck man. He used to go to our bus, but for personal reasons, he's banned from the town. He now goes to Shamibas.

Yeah. 100 kilometers away. Would you change your trip? I'd be able to do that. Right. That's a great test to see how passionate he is about the duck. Okay, Nolly, thank you. We'll come back to you if you get any leads on this fellow.

What's the closest French city just to give people an idea of the region? Oh, this is pretty good, isn't it, boy? I want to have a ban. Montennack. Well, that's good. I mean, people in that area will know where that's done. Now, now people will be like, oh, yeah, yeah, I know that area. I'll go and know someone in that area.

I can ask around. Who's the guy with the refrigerator? I'll choose you, that barbecue. Yeah. All right, Nelly, thanks very much. Cheers, bud. Bye, soon. Bye, Stan.

Bye. Oh, you guys know what to do. Help her. It's the end of the night. It's just the duck guy me a month and yet. Andy.com Listener