Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2019 Ep 52

Episode Date: May 15, 2019

1. Another menu challenge Pt. 12. Another menu challenge Pt. 23. Sonny’s cake4. Bec on hold5. Upset Andy6. Proctology update7. Eleanor, a hunk, and some chocolate

A least-snap production. Activate your internet. Cause the Hamish and Andy podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1! 1 Hi everyone, howdy you, Hen. Get on with it. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I will say a hoydous Scott who reached out to us a very easy way of submitting audio at the website. Tell me what he's up to today. Well, we fell as Happy Birthday, Andy. I'm Scott from the Avictorian.

Today, I fed 880 different Angus beasts. It sounds like a tongue-closed... LAUGHTER Sounds like a vocal warm-up. I fed 880 different Angus beasts. I fed 880... I'm ready to go guys. The mouse is all warm, the rain is playing.

It's mainly the plane. And I fed 880. You're a crap-played castanets. I fed 880 different Angus beasts. Good work. Thank you. Hopefully that is a new tongue can. Good work.

Can I count again? Yes. Did you do that? You did all one day. I mean, I don't know. My farming is well as you do. You. Yes. And did you do that? You did all one day. I mean, I don't know. My farming is well as you do. You do, you do, you do. You get it all done in one thing.

What it all is, I would say. What kind of year if we had rain lies, not a great one? He's probably doing it off one of the feeders, automatic feeder. Get the back of the tractor. And that'll get the beast fed. If the beast knows best, then it will have fed itself off the automatic feeder. Hey, everyone will have been racing to their internet to download this week's podcast.

Battle of the Oliver's. We set a dual last week. It just so happened. Just dissonained it was the right thing to do. Yeah, it just so happened that two people, both caught Oliver, one from Western Australia, so Western Oliver and one from Sydney, Sydney Oliver, had reached out to you and fought on your side of the email fans.

Can't believe it. And said, same skill. They were both ferocious. I'm sure people have heard last episode, both ferocious at Lockland from last year, he's poor guessing of the total cost of a meal given specific menu items. They claimed that they were within 60 cents. I think it was Western Oliver that said he was getting within 60 cents

Yep, and Sydney Oliver said similar things. Yeah, they join us both now on the line Western Oliver. Oh, hoi Oh, boy, hello. Sydney Oliver. Oh, hi, do you? Hi, boy, hello. In pretty excited to have the two Oles together to take on this battle. Guys, have you tried Western all this for you? Any practice during the week or you're coming in pretty cold? I'll eat out a lot anyway, so I practice about every day. Oh, okay. Do you take with you a finstrip of black cardboard

to lay down the edge of a menu so you can see or a ruler or some sort of bottom all ponable price obscura so you can usually usually everyone else do the ordering and then I'll tell them how much is going to cost at the end of it. Lovely western all about Cindy Oliver intimidated by that? Absolutely not I've got this I think I've been studying up and I feel pretty good about it. Study yourself. Like you've got to study. I've been rinsed the menu from every restaurant. Grover eats making no orders.

When I get my orders, I like they always send an extra menu in the bag with you. I always just have a quick plunder of the menu and just quick study of the prices and help quick look at the guide. Always learning. So it's sort of like, you're reading the financial review. You don't run a business. You don't own shares. But you're aware of what's going on. Exactly right. OK, all right.

So it works. Well, guys, we talked about this on last week's pod, but let's just reset the parameters. You both will hear the menu items that I've selected. I have picked a restaurant in a neutral state. It is not a new South Wales nor is it in Western Australia. Very good. It is a restaurant that isn't in the CBD

but it is in the metropolitan area. That makes sense to you guys. So we're not talking about rural loading, which is a worry sometimes. Well, sometimes they, like a seafood restaurant in Alice Springs. Yeah. That that that that menu would be all over the place.

Location is very important. Yep. So we're talking about a regular but we're also not talking about CBD premium loading. Yep. Often at day core of a restaurant influences my price guide. Well, yeah, I know, but in this game, you you you can't the restaurant. I will say, though, it's a Thai restaurant. It's a Poppy's Thai. They're a small franchise.

I think there's only three of them in Victoria. I think they're trying to franchise, but they haven't. And that's all you get. That's all you get. And then we'll put you guys un-hold. And then we can ask, we're gonna do, we're gonna do, we will, one at a time though, but I'll say them both now, we don't have them in a hole, we go both of them right now,

what the items are, and then we'll put one of them in a hole, have a guess, other one come back. Gotcha. Can I say something out loud? I'm worried you said the name of the restaurant. They're not the googly, they're on the phone to us, they're not good. I'm worried.

You're not worried. I don't know what to do. It's going to be fine. Change a restaurant. Change it. They haven't even thought about it. Change it, mate. No. Ready? No. Here we go. Ando. It wouldn't be hard. We put them on hold now quickly. No. We'll be back in a minute with a new restaurant. I don't need to. He's tanked. The test is untainted. Jack, what do you think? I mean, I thought about Googling almost straight away when you said the name. So I think...

I can't... I'm just... Do we just go on a C system and they have to swear swear? No, just swear, they... No. I swear not to look. I swear, swear, swear not to look as well. That's good. I think I remember the name of the restaurant. That's exactly what you'd say if you'd already looked. I don't even know if you said it.

But now we're in my town and in New Restaurant. We're going to put you guys on a whole quickly. We're going to put you guys on a whole. We're going to get a new restaurant. I will be tying random asses to the category. Yeah, just not that restaurant. Yep, sure. You know what I'm saying. I know you say people listening along who would be a very appreciative of what we're doing right there. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I mean to the keen listener that would have heard me go quiet hesitated. You would never forget there. I would feel like as a tennis player and there's some guy in the crowd with a buvasaila And I'm waiting for the ampada go well, we're not we're gonna tell him to be quiet

We're back. I think hey you guys both still there We're back. Hey you guys both still there? Sorry guys. I had a security here. I had a game security. I just did see it as my duty to try and pinch close any loop holes that anyone listening might think that you guys were using even though I Completely believed you when you said Swiss. Where no one would ever break a triple swear But we've now devised a system that's uncheatable. A double blind test, you both will be blind. You won't hear the other person opposed to hearing it.

So unfortunately for podcasts, they'll have to hear the order twice. It has to be the only way, Andy, because if we said the order and then one person went unhold, what do you think that guy's doing? Yeah, really. You guys are going to Google. Yeah, sorry guys. I spent a lot of my time, a lot of my youth on the other side of the law, and I can't turn that part of my brain off

and now I work for the law. Yep, but that's what I would have done. Let's start with Western Oliver. We're putting Sydney Elevator on hold. Western Oliver. Okay, here are the menu items. Sydney Elevator cannot hear you. And now that Sydney Elevator can't hear this, I think it's fair to say to both of the guys

what kind of tie store it is, maybe what cyber bits in in Melbourne. It is in a suburban, in a suburban of Melbourne. How far from the CBD? I would say no more than five kilometers. Okay. Okay. So, give you a little idea. Yeah. Yeah, I know I can't see it in a menu,

but if I did, I could win. If I look at a menu, how upmarket is this restaurant? The menu looks very, very stock, bog standard, stock standard, Thai restaurant menu. Okay. Okay. Another one. Here is your items.

Here are your items. Here are your items. One chicken tom yum soup. One serve of vegetarian spring rolls. It comes in six pieces. That's big, that's big serve. One beef green curry. One coconut rice to go with the curry. Size on the rice.

There's only one size. Thank you. Western Oliver. Yeah, I'm just doing my quick cuts. But all seals take your time. Gonna need an answer. Yep, I'm gonna go with $43. $. You've locked that in. Thank you so much. You'll find it shortly how you went and pop your own hold off to Sydney Oliver now. Sydney

Oliver were to exactly what we told Western Oliver. This is a, I think to use any term stock standard or bog standard. Yeah. Tied place, approximately five kilometers outside of the CVD in Melbourne. Was this kind of place you could order lunch from as well, Andrew? Yep. Yep. We're ordering dinner at the moment. We are ordering dinner. It's off the dinner menu. Yeah, don't look for any type of lunch. I know special no special yes I know he's I know you're doing yes Sydney all of it here are your items one chicken tom yum soup one server vegetarian spring rolls six pieces one yeah one it is big for it it's big for a serve isn't it? One beef green curry and one coconut rice to go with the curry,

they only came in one size of rice. One rice size. Okay. So I'm gonna say that would be approximately $41.40. Okay, excellent. Thank you so much. We now have everybody back. Sydney Oliver and Western Oliver. You both had to get within 50 cents either way, either side,

so within a dollar to get yourself a coin. But one of you will be obviously the better Oliver at this game. Ultimate Oliver. Now, Sydney Oliver, you guessed $41.40. This is the first time Western Oliver's hearing that. Western Oliver? You know what you guessed. Yes.

And it was $43. $48. Hey, you're a real damn English. $43. Okay. So you're within $6C of each other. Question being, you know, if it's high, if it's over $43, obviously that goes worse than all the below, you know, we want to help it works.

The price was $36,000,000. $50,000. Sydney Oliver. That is well. Yeah. What state was this time? I played very cheap. No, this.

Yeah. OK, we'll break it down. Wes and Oliver, what did you price everything at? Oh, I went the Tom Yum at nine. $9,850. You'll see it? Yeah, Sydney Oliver, what did you price it at? I actually had that at $10,000,000,000. OK. And next.50, you'll see it. See the olive-a-logey price of that. I actually had that at $10.50.

Okay. And next, Andy, the six-piece Svedger Spring Rolls? I went 12. That's 3.50, so you see 4.50. Yeah, the 6. Because I did $7.90, but plus, I find it on a couple, because I was like, I should have gone with your $7.90. They must be small ones.

$7.50. Must be mini. Yeah. Very fried. The beef green carriage, it's 16 on that one. 16, 15. 16, 90 I had. OK, that's real close. Everyone's close to the pin there.

And the coconut rice. I've only went too much. I went to see it 12, thinking Safron. Yeah, Safron. 4, 4's career. Sorry, who's the thing he's Safron, which Oliver? I bought. Yeah, saffron. Four, four's career. Sorry, who was the answer? Who's the thing he's saffron, which Oliver? I bought saffron up to West Norver. Yeah, right.

That's got you up to 43. That extra two bucks. Yeah. I think I think the six pieces. You got really close to all of them, but you still kind of nine bucks off. It doesn't bug off. Well, the saffron mistake and the six piece spring rolls

that's for everyone. That's really where your error margin was. That's true. And that's the toughest of the game. Show's yet again. Not an easy game. We will send out a token of no value to you both. There will be no coin, but Sydney Oliver,

you reign supreme in the Battle of the Olivas. Thank you very much. But overall, still quite a way. I feel like Hamish fell after the paint show just for... Superior paintings. We're trying not to talk about it, but um... Okay. Does keep getting mentioned until everyone's mind.

Ando, the last thing on the show, some claims were made about a birthday cake, that I would be constructing, making. No, constructing, he's finally set it, Jack. Oh, constructing, you've got to construct it first then you make it. That's, you know, you construct your plans, you construct a plan of attack. And you make the cake. And you make the cake.

And you make the cake. Oh, you're, arguable. Oh, is there anything it's? Yeah, I made a cake. Yeah, I made some of real arguable. Just because anything is. I made a cake. I made some of these birthday cakes. I'll give you that. By the way, I followed it, I text you, I text you it, I think midnight. You hit me it all up.

I said, you're hanging in there, mate. It's getting a lot of text messages coming in. A lot of people were following it. In fact, I found myself doing a lot more customer service, like, replying to people on your your Instagram, yeah. Making stuff. Because people would sort of see it on Instagram, then like, text me, and then I'm on the phone to people. For those who didn't see it.

That's a question of behavior with someone who doesn't want to finish doing something. What's the closing behavior with someone who forgets that they are the only person in charge of and working on the project? Yes, I would often find myself, that the cake started about 8pm and it finished just 12am. So it was a six hour build for this cake. At various points throughout the night,

when, how much of that was media? Because I was going in and out of moments of success, because I just sort of loosely planned to do this dinosaur cake. I had a plan, but not... Remind everyone on the plan. The cake had to roll. A door open and closes. A dinosaur that opens and closes. It's a mouth, and is able to whack my son in the head with its tail. Those were the conditions of the cake.

That was the brief. So you outsourced the engineering to brickman from the amount? I talked to a mate who offered to help. After you asked him. I talked to a mate who offered to help. After you asked him. I offered to help. Is it brick man possible with Lego technique? Yeah. Oh yeah. Came around 40 minutes later. He'd built the skeleton out of Lego technique. So the strong Lego. It was very impressive. But I was able to build cake around that frame. What did you use to build the...

Like what was going on the Lego frame? Well, wrapped it in Glad Wrap. Okay. Stereolized it, wrapped it in Stereol tape. Yeah. Then was able to do cake and melted marshmallow and rice bubbles. To create a shape of the outer layer. Yeah. To create the actual... Now, that sounds easy.

And it certainly looked... It certainly sounded easy when I read it three in the afternoon. I went, oh, yeah, this sounds like a piece of... Literally, a piece of giant piece of cake. I can just do that and just create the whole shape. And according to these people that run how to cake it and a lot of these cake blogs, it seemed very easy to do, much harder in real life.

And when I did the first melted marshmallow, a rust bubble, batch, it's hot and it just falls off. So I'd squashed it under the legs and then just watches it slowly fell back off. Then I'd sit back and go, hmm, and with no plan B, I would just pour myself a drink and do a bit of staring and thinking. And I went through a few of these phases throughout the night where I forgot that I was in charge of this and I realised I was waiting for someone to tell me what to do. There is no one to tell me what to do. I guess I've got to just keep going. And so at a stage where I realized, what made it stick here? I took it outside. I went into the backyard because it called night and I started working outside

on the outside back table to Cool, the mixture down. And that was a bit of a... Also, I didn't break up the rice bubbles. This is a game very technical. And this is more detail than anyone needed to know, but it was like the rice bubbles were too bulky in the mix, and they were kind of falling off, and it wasn't giving me the shape.

I made another batch where I crushed all the rice bubbles up. That was a break. That was when I texted you at midnight and went, I needed to. I made another batch where I crushed all the rice balls up. That was a break. That was when I texted you at midnight and went, I've had a second win here with how to break, and like an engineering break through, we're back on. I don't think the Lego frame is a cheat. I mean, it makes it less edible. It makes it less edible, but I view it as no different

than a toothpick or a chopstick. It's an elaborate toothpick. People do put toothpicks and cakes. We've seen that at a higher level cake. I agree, but the... I can't put this back at you. I think the percentage of cake to toothpicks is very different to the percentage of cake to infrastructure for yours.

And you can always split hairs. You can. And look, I view it as sort of a high tech toothpick that was running through the cake There was probably ten percent cake. Oh not 90% in this section and he's He's absolutely did anyone eat any of the actual They sure did yeah, sunny cut into these back with the back in the head had cake on it The legs had cake in them cut through the rice bubbles rice bubbles shell have some cake absolutely adored it Kids reading the rice bubbles, rice bubbles shell, have some cake, absolutely adorate. Kids are eating the rice bubble. They're like it.

Well, I've had mate. It looks like a toy to do it for, isn't it? The looks on Sonny's classmates' faces when they're eating the rice bubbles, eating their dinosaurs' head. You know, me saying, talk to me, kids, if you eat any of the actual dinosaur, volcano is all clear. Yep, that's all edible. Do talk to me before you eat.

The dinosaur has quite a lot of Lego in it and some wires and electronics for the mosa in it so don't eat the motor. Haven't we come a long way from the edible hinge. Now we've got a non-edible motor in the cake. It was a little bit like Darth Vader. I mean you go, oh he's a man, he's a man but he's a robot too and he's a robot too, and he's art machine. Was it a bit of a side book? Did you feel like, though, having taken, you know, a few days away from it now, do you feel like what was the point? Wasn't really even a cake.

Of course it was. When I saw those kids cut into the back of that dinosaur and see how edible the back was. Yep. It would have been only, it would have been less than three millimeters that they could have cut, yeah. Oh man, I'll show you the picture.

They cut a good 15 centimeters. 15 centimeters. All right, I was paid to do this too. We're live on the podcast. I'm showing you. Jack, I need your help to hear. I'm going to have to show you the video. If it's more than five centimeters,

I'll come over here. I'm coming over here. This is at the location of the birthday party. There's the dinosaur there. I think this pans down the back. And you can see the deep cut there. Yeah, it's probably eight centimeters far more. Which you know means 13 Jack,

because he's not gonna ever give me more than that. So 13's close enough. So I got into the back. Here's the best thing, though. I put my Apple Watch on during the making, because I was like, oh, it's a bit of a funny joke or for my own personal amusement. I only ever wear the Apple Watch when you're,

when I'm exercising, right? So I was like, I'll register as a workout. And on the Apple Watch, you click a button and you go, oh, what are you doing? Are you running? Are you doing a cycling? What do you put it in? I put it in as other,

because it's not listed. Cakemaking is not listed as a workout. Now, ando, when you go for a run, you've got the Apple Watch. How many do you know off the top of your head? How many calories would a run be? Oh, for like, say... It gives you your heart rate, your calories, you do. I only go probably 30 minutes run.

Yep. And then I would say... 2600, baby? In 30 minutes. Yep, yep, and then I would say 2600 maybe in 30 minutes. I'll call it sorry killer jewels it comes up with all right Yeah, so so divided by tied by four by four so what are we doing like for five six hundred maybe six hundred calories this The active calories was 1800 calories Wow in, like total calories was 2300 calories for the entire workout. When I press finish on the workout,

my watch was beeping and like coming with like awards. Awards. This, you have never exercised so much in your life. This is your longest workout. This is your highest calorie burn. This is your biggest percentage game on week to week workouts. I got three awards on the exercise front for making a cake.

I'm gonna wear it on a night out. Yeah, you should be like, I was just like, this is demoralizing. Baking cake is the most active thing I've done. Of course, according to my Apple Watch. Hey, whenever anyone calls through to me and I'm on the other line and I put them on hold to talk to the other person on another line, I do get nervous there. I've connected the two of them.

Ghosts in the machine exists. You're part of one of my ghosts in the machine. Yeah, in front of us, Jess, every time I text Jess and I just text her, obviously I've deleted her number and reinstalled it, it makes it a group chat between me, Jess and I just text her obviously I'm and I've like deleted a number and re-installed it It makes it a group chat between me Jess and Andy. It's so bizarre as a ghost in the system As a ghost in the system. So I know I know the I know the worry Yeah, you deliberately say things that are that would be acceptable to be heard by the other party Yes, we wanted to play with that today

This is very complex. I want people to follow on, but if this comes off, it will be another triumph of technical pranking. We're going to call Beck off my phone, so far so good. I'm going to have a small conversation with her, and then I'm going to pretend that you're calling through. Yes, to me. And then I'm going to put her on hold and I'm going to take your call. Yep. At that point, she'll think that that's what I've tried to do. But you and I will just have a conversation in here. She'll go, I'll know I can hear them. We'll have to remember her. Yes, we'll have to ignore her. We then use this wonderful premise to see if we can have a conversation. That would be the kind of conversation you wouldn't want back to here.

Now, after a two minute workshop, we've come up with the idea that I'm going to say to you, you say to me, oh, sorry, I'm going to the other one to back, I then go, oh, right, if you told her about the thing, you go, no, I go, geez, you better tell her. I'm like, no, I think, I don't think so. I don't think so. She doesn't like spiders or whatever. We pretend we start, do talking loose terms about, in fact, I don't think so. I don't think so. She doesn't like spiders or whatever. We pretend we start to talk in loose terms about the fact there's a spider nest in your room.

In your roof, there's spiders, but you're gonna take care of it without telling her. Yes. I then go cool mate, I'll get your lunch or whatever, hang up. And then I go back to Beck and we'll switch point. You would hope if this is all gone correctly there is a meltdown how can you not tell me about the spiders what are you talking about when you're going to tell me I'm not going home or would she respect that she shouldn't have heard

I yes and she's just a little odd and then just yeah anyways because by the way I'm going to Mum's house for two weeks I can't tell you why. Well, Jack, or I call out, don't know, because I've got the system here. All right. Are you calling out? BEEP. Hello, my king. Hey, sweetie, how are you? Good, how are you?

Not too bad, not too bad. Just breaking for lunch. We may finish up early today, so I thought we could potentially go and see Mama there. Yeah? What's up? I know probably like, I could, hang on, Hayme's calling back again. Just hold on, I'll just take the call and I'll come back to you.

Yeah. One sec, sorry. Hayme, are you there? Yeah, mate. Sorry, I'm just, I'm just on the call. No worries, menu options. Potato, did that fit the diet? Yeah, I'm only allowed to have potato I think.

Sorry, I just got back on the other line. Oh shit, sorry. Are you telling her about the thing? Pun? Is this, did you tell her about the thing? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no not talking about it. No, no. I'll give you. I told you this. I'm just getting lies to you. You're not telling you about it at all. No, no, no. Oh, shit. I'm sorry. I thought you were definitely going to text her.

I was going to text her. Because I would be horrified. I would never step foot in the house again. I know, but that's my point. I don't want her to be scared in the house. Oh. Okay. All right.

I'll get you a potato. Okay. Bold move. Okay, all right, cinematic, bye. So, what are you there? What were you talking about? I'm, hang on. Could you hear that? Yes. But I put, I swear I put you on hold.

No, you put me on a three-way. No, I, kind of, because I put you on hold and You put me on a three-way No, I kind of because I put you on hold and I couldn't hear you. Did you were you saying anything? No, I didn't say anything all of letting me speak to him right. Yeah cool. Oh Nothing nothing why why can't I hear it? I don't know like it probably doesn't pertain to you. You said something that Hamasd, if you were going to tell me, tell me something. Right. What details on that, I can't really remember. I know, it's something about potato and a mess.

A mess. A mess? No. What were you talking about? I really can't remember. Then why are you going to do something? Right. Why is he going to be doing? You said you were talking about.

Well, I seriously, it's so long ago. Really not. Right. Ha ha ha. Sorry, Beck, it's Aiden. Hey, both here. I'm here as well, Beck. I mean, what will try?

What will it try to do? We've just made a crucial mistake here. I was, we've set this up to make you think there was a cross line and I was telling Andy, is he gonna tell you about the spiders, there's the spiders nest in the roof and then him be like, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't wanna tell, I don't wanna bother her.

But we've both of us forgot to say that the word spiders nest. But it's pretty just a bit unclear what we were going for. Then the idea being, he comes back to you, you're freaking out going, you dickhead, I could hear everything. What do you mean there's a spider's nest in the house?

Everybody high fives and goes, well done. Very technical prank. We just left it a bit vague. I'm going to say is that is the issue here. You guys have lost it. You've absolutely lost it. We've lost the edge. We've lost the edge. We've lost the touch. We used to be the best at this. And what really eventually was just, it became an exercise in how vague Andy could be when you're like what were you talking about?

Andy's just going I don't know It's just we've had a bad head and he's just being in seconds ago and he's just being a bit belligerent Um, all right, you got your coffees today. Yeah, sorry. He's late now. No, no, no. One to you. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. One to you, well done. a C-minus for us there. 5, B, B's fair. 4, right. Andy.

You look happy. Yeah. Let's wipe that smile off your face. Yeah. Everything is neat and practical, because that's the way it likes it. But what if it wasn't? Obser Andy.

And, uh, geez, so many upset andes coming in. Second only really to power moves. Now, we should point out to people, because when the people come in, thank you for anyone who goes to hamishney.com and just shares their thoughts, streams, and ponderings. But 50% go to you, 50% go to me. So we never know what the other person's doing.

When an upset Andy comes in, I was deleted. As soon as I sit off and title that. People, I think people would know that instinctively because I get so many going, I'm saying this three times, to play the odds, or plating the MR stars by plating with you, going, please give this to Amish. And that's when I smile and delete. And I know they're not making it across the border.

We should know that Jack gets 100% of the emails. Yes, and reads about one. Yeah. But Jack gets the other... Jack gets like a ghost drive version. But our other producers are seeing them so you don't have to play the odds. Luckily our other producers are here, they can call people, they can get them up. We've got a bunch of people that are received a call back.

Because I always think it's better if you get to the upset Andy your face. I want to start there with someone we couldn't get onto for today, but GZ's alleged in Pascal is from Germany. They're German podcaster. Hoi Andy, Habibutte, Grease, Germany, this is what Pascal does. When he uses the microwave, rather than entering in, which I agree is very fiddly,

like oh, two, zero, zero, two minutes, whatever. He once a month or so puts in 90 minutes. Oh, the clock. Oh, the clock. Oh, the clock. Hey, guys, then I press start. And then when I smell food, I stop it. And that's just fair enough, that's a good way to cook. And I pause the clock, it just pauses the clock

when you open it up, it goes, next time, I've got a huge credit bank of time left on the microwave. It's a great hack for a microwave, because microwaves are very fiddly. You have to do the right thing by them,aves are very fiddly. You have to, you know, you have to do the right thing by them. You have to set the power. You have to set the time. This just turns it into a cupboard that can be hot when you want it to or not when you don't want it to. It's just a hot cupboard and that is a great, that's very fast. I would hate that, but I respect that.

He goes right now. The microwave's got 1824 on it. Yeah. He hasn't used it for a few days, but he knows it's there in credit when he needs the account. All right, Abby, Abby, you've got something to upset Andy and blow his headphones off with steam. I don't know, a boy boy. I actually want to say thanks to past 1000s, I'm going do it up in a good high. It's what is in it. It's really good, very smart. I think I do have something really going to upset you Andy, so I'll see how we go. I'm all about time saving and that extends into the house, obviously. So part of the dreaded changing your linen on your bed

once before night once a week however you want to do it I that four years ago said that I definitely need to do some time saving on this process because it takes good 30 minutes 45 night man yeah have a done time saving the lead up to the upset anything? Thank you, Steve. You're just trying to rally. It's just trying to rally. Right, it's going to the point. Yeah, thanks, Bernie.

So, instead of changing my pillow cases, I decided that I'd just chuck a fresh one over the top. Oh, that's good. I hate that. No, that's clever. I thought you were going to wrap up five and peel them off as time went on, but you're actually encasing the filth. I love it. Abby, move on.

Thanks, Abby. Jake, if you guys want to know what upset Andy? Oh, boy, boy. Something to do. This is a bit of a torn sabre when you're feeling a bit hungry, manga for a long day. Can I ask you? Yeah. You get hungry. This is a bit of a time saver when you're feeling a bit hungry, maybe after a long day pocket-afting. Yep. You get home.

Always very hungry work. You get home, you might want a nice hot meat pie. You might like that. I don't know, by the time you pre-heat your oven, you cook it, you let it cool down. That's 45 minutes. It is. JQ and you do eat pies in the oven.

Love it pie in the oven. Why the time saver? This is going to be a great time for you Andy. So what you want to do is you take it out of the freezer, chuck it straight in the microwave. You might use pastels, trickery, very good at running, so you put it in there for a few minutes. As you know when you pull it out of the microwave, it's a little bit hot, you can still eat not ideal. So straight from the microwave, back in the freezer. How long in the freezer?

About one minute, 60 seconds, 90 seconds, just take some heat off, put some Christmas, and then it's in the freezer. No, it doesn't. I did it first, Jonathan. This is cooking. Yes.

It's a perfect pie. Yeah, well, it comes with... It's past the loose. Time spent cooking, sub five minutes. Meanwhile, Christmas back in the day. And is sitting on the couch, three league exams waiting for his perfect pastry. Okay.

And they're playing. You won perfect pastry, Andy. Oh, you already cooked. Yeah, you won perfect pastry, move to Paris, mate. If you want to pie, move to Jokes House. Yes. I think I'll go to Paris. Yeah, right.

Kiarra. Oh, hey guys. How are you, Kiara? You got something to upset Andy? Yeah, my husband actually did this the other night. He's got a really dreadful coffee's had it for a couple of weeks and I bought him home some dry cough medicine and he decided that instead of wasting time beduring out those he just weeks it straight out of the bottle. That's fine, I do that.

I said to him, what are you doing? You got a minute ago, you said not fast and loose. Fast and loose. You get a mouthful, you'll do the job. Kia, are you able to have that? I did, because yeah, I've been working on the pharmacy. What does it say? 15 mil?

15, 20 mil for adult, yeah. 15 to 20, that don't even know. They don't even know on the bowl. He's the same as me, Kary. And this is something my dad taught me. If it's that bad for you, they wouldn't sell it to you. They wouldn't be allowed to sell it. You can take a few liberties here and there. They're feeling out, you only know your body. They don't know you, you know your body better than everyone else.

You take a good mouthful. You're gonna be fine. You get one more, you get your body. They don't know you, you know your body better than everyone else. You take a good mouthful. You're gonna be fine. One more, you get one more. Jess, a hoi Jess. Hi boys. Can you upset Andy? I'm happy to say Andy. No need, you've started well.

And congrats to Hamish on being superior. No, in what department, Jess? I'm not gonna go into school. No, you don't need to, we all know. Move on as a test on test was a test uh... this is that my husband and he's the uh... tussus and tansley in his sleep but whether pillowies

the corner of the fitted sheet pops up over the corner of the mattress so rather than fixing it he'll just sleep on a floppy sheet until it disappears so far into the bed that he's sleeping on the mattress protector. I hate you. Good on him. No.

I don't know. Sleeps asleep. If he's... Who's got time at 2 in the morning to get up and make a bed? It's already the worst job in the world putting fitted sheets on. There's always ten-saleed is too small. Surely you got one that can fit snaggly enough that you can't, you know, how much is he running around in that?

I mean, you think about bears who sleep on the dirt. And you're not better than a bear. I mean, bears are amazingly powerful animals. They, I mean, we're so lucky to even have bears. That's the way I look at it. We don't need everything to be perfect perfect on the mattress at all times. And you waste the time.

You wake yourself up fully, and that's an hour of loss sleep. He sounds like a genius, Jess, well done. Hey, quick update from a couple of weeks ago. They didn't get to last week was we're talking about proctologists. Yes. And you said, you said, you said, they don't get, in the medical industry, they don't get a sign.

When we say, yeah, you put in your, you don't, you don't go, I think you put in your preferences. So you're specialty. Yep. And then they go bad news, you're a proctor. I think it's a good news if you wanted it. A good news, yeah. So like, you know, like time,

like working a big company and you're applying for leave. Yeah. Like it when you're an ambassador. If you're a boss, of course you're putting in America. Yeah. If you're a wannabe in ambassador that, no one's putting in Syria. I mean, it's important work to do.

But geez, there'd be a lot more fun to go to Yankee's games and just take photos. So that was a question I had to ask. Yeah, I think I sound by this, where when you're finishing your specialist school, or before you go to specialist school, finishing medical degree and you go, think I'd want to be in descending order.

I, Dr. Nose, Dr. Leverguy, Dr. Bum, Dr. And then maybe you're a bit weird about feats. So I went back to visit my, the Bum doctor and I had to ask him these questions. The other question we had was, I felt that he didn't warn me. That's right when he- That's when he stuck his finger at your bum. Yes, and I believe being in there is just tacit consent. Yeah, or you have had to have had

must acknowledge that some fingers are going in some bumps and it's probably gonna be him to you. Ha ha ha. It has to be that way because otherwise- We speculated in the show- He should have given you a warning. In a couple of weeks ago, we speculated, does he go know warning because?

It's a little loose, sir. We're like, and you said no to that. You were like, no, absolutely. That wouldn't be the rule. But it was also something I caught up with him with our. Oh, great. And because it, for me, asking in first that you can say no, that was my weird thing.

I was like, he doesn't need to ask because it's kind of redundant. Because he goes, hey, can I see my finger up with him? I mean, he goes, you can say no, that was my weird thing. I was like, he doesn't need to ask because it's kind of redundant. Because he goes, hey, can I see my finger up your bum? And he goes, you go, no, he goes, well, come back when you're ready. That's true. Okay, I'll listen. Alrighty. Thanks for doing this, Paul.

Pleasure. The first question. Hamish claims that doctors are assigned their specialties opposed to choosing them. Is that true? I think I was born to be dealing with the rectum. It's in my blood, it's in my nature. So definitely was a choice.

Yeah it was a choice. Okay good. Last time I was in here, you didn't give me any pre-warning when you put your finger at my bum. Ruff. We wanted to know whether that was deliberate move. Do you normally warn people or is it better off attacking with an element of surprise so people don't clean up etc? What we like to do is actually do warn you, but you had that look of abject terror in your

face, and I suspect that you didn't absorb any of the... I was going to have a quick look at the back passage, and have a feel of make sure it's okay, but I suspect that that's actually a public zone of us that you weren't absorbing all the information. Okay, so I think there is an element of importance in just sneaking up quietly. Yeah. Perfect.

Probably one of the subjects I do. So, bum ninja, 101. Here's the part, do you see what? He's a lost in translation or a con for me. He said, I'm going to have a quick look at the back passage. I noticed this. I go feel around and make sure it's okay. But he said, feel around very fast.

Yeah. Even then, I went, you're right to miss that. Yeah. Because he actually said, I'm going to have a quick look and feel around, make sure everything's okay. Yeah. But he really rushed, feel around. And maybe that's out of habit.

So he can then slow it down and go, well, yes, the stenographer got it. But you're like, well, you really rushed it. You really rushed it. The feeling around was the bit that caught you off guard. Yeah, when he says, he emphasizes look, doesn't he? Yeah, have a quick look. Feel around, make sure.

Like, so. Emphasize, feel around. Because that, the quick look, feel like I'm making it. Yeah. Like, so, emphasize feel around. Yeah, because that's the bit I'm not used to. You're going to be a look at your back passage all day. You're going to a sweet run. Feeling around, another story. Hey, I just wanted to bring to the table, potentially a special skill for next week. Okay, yeah. Eleanor's her name. So is this because last week we had the oranges and we're now...

There's now a bit more of a thorough investigation. Approval process that's been introduced. Okay, potentially. She joined us. Passing it through the lower house now. now Eleanor how's it going? Oh Thank you, thank you Eleanor for taking the pressure off Eleanor. I don't know your skill is but You are here. I feel in some way because of me because I had a young man come into the studio You could peel an orange in one peel it did not tickle Andy's fancy Hands were now I guess scrutinizing the skills

a little more. Little more thoroughly. This one I think does pass the test though, but I need to ask more questions as will you. That one also says, can taste the percentage of cocoa or cacao in chocolate? Yeah. Right. Blind tasting. So we'll give it a…

Do you mean any chocolate like if I gave you a Snickers you'd go, okay, that's 31% or do you mean any chocolate like if I gave you a snickers, you'd go, okay, that's 31% or do you mean. Okay, so it has to be like just chocolate like nothing added to it. Yes. So like you can't have like nuts or something round a minute. Okay, I won't. Okay, so so it has to be sort of like, okay, well this is from like haigs and I know the percentage because they they usually now sell it like in the dark chocolate world they'll they brag about the percentage. Yeah, can you go across all brands, Eleanor? Yeah, I'd be happy to try it if it brands.

Like I work at a chocolate shop, so I guess I know that chocolate really well, but happy to be tested out of a comfort zone. So if I said to you like, right, here's Higgs White Chocolate, we didn't even tell you that, but I knew it was Higgs White Chocolate has a lot less cocoa in it, doesn't it? I think white chocolate is probably out of the parameters a bit, it's probably more in the dark milk area. Dark milk? Okay.

What's the lowest level that your detector could register? Your tongue could feel. Probably like the milk chocolate is around like 30% probably wouldn't go any lower than that. Okay, between 30 and 100. I still think it's in 100. 100. How do I? But there is that 99. There is the 99. We did it once in a row.

99. And it tastes like absolute candle wax. It just says it. Okay, so between 30, dirt. Yeah. Okay, so between 30 and 100, that's your range. If we, Eleanor, where do you live? In Sydney. City.

Okay, so we could organize, because we're in Melbourne, we could organize, rather than make you fly down, a link, we could link to studios. Yes. And we could do it that way. And have someone feed you the chocolate. That's a nice idea. Maybe a sexy boy or girl, your choice, like a model.

And it's just like a bachelor date. Like we could blindfold you. And you could be fed chocolate by a hunk or a model. Yeah. How do we feel about that? Um, yeah, yeah, it sounds good staying in Sydney for it, so that would be good. So yes, what about the Bachelor-esque element of it? Hey, why not throw that in?

Would you like female or male model? Oh, surprise me. Okay, okay. I have in mind a hunk. I have in mind a hunk. I have in mind a hunk with a bowtie. Yeah, yeah, okay. I'm down for a hunk. Okay, okay.

So, more like a magic mic kind of like pants obviously, ripped bowtie cuffs. Yes. I mean, I'm going to be blind folded so I don't know how much I'll see, but that's exciting. You will peek no doubt before and after. Great. You are a human. Yes. Okay. So, Eleanor, can we do this next week? Yeah, yeah, sure.

Great. Okay. What's my range that I get to like with my head? Oh, yeah. You margin of error. So, you haven't a go shadow. You're going to error bars. I would say 3% either side, posthumous 3.

That's what I was thinking. Right, that's fair. So if we give you a 40% and you go 35 you're out, if you go 38, we all know how numbers work. You're in it. Okay, okay. We will have a hunk and how many? Five.

Five hunks off. Five hunks. That was a fly down if we were splashing five hunks. Five pieces of chocolate. Five pieces of chocolate, one hunk, one blindfold, one one studio link. And if you get five from five, is that eight? Is that an eight? Yep. That's an amazing palette. And four is a one coin coin. That's correct. Okay. Thank you. I'll see you. Take care.

All right, bye. Good bye. Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com. Bye bye.