Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2019 Ep 62

Episode Date: July 24, 2019

1. Super Smash challenge 2. High Society Snobbery 3. What sex is that dog? 4. Power Moves 5. Reverse inventions 6. Flat pack freestyle 

A list-knife production. Activate your internet. Cause the Hamish and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. A hoi, a hoi everyone, a how are you him? And we like to start the show with a message from one of the listeners from the podcasters Just go and upload your audio at homestay.com Not easy, is it?

I've sent you Reans, she landed on my side of the fence I've rarely seen them, I was surprised to see one, read it out Where's Rean from? She's from the Goldie I think Have you got the emila sent it over to you? Yes, you've just sent me1, read it out. Where's Rian from? She's from the Goldie, I think. Have you got the EMILE Senate over to you? Yes, you've just sent me this. Read it out. Hey guys, I'm a chevrolet casino in an in-room diamond. Sometimes we have to do orders for high rolls from different countries.

Not going to lie, I struggle to attach this audio file. That's the people speaking. That's the people speaking. It's not for me, but I wanted to send it across to you to go, this is the voice of the people. This is Rian. It's not for me, but I wanted to send it across to you to go, this is the voice of the people. Let's see, or you're in then. Away boys, happy birthday, Andy. It's Rian from the Gold Coast.

I work at the casino at In Room Dining, and sometimes we have to do catering orders for high rollers for their private jets, and today I'm doing an order for $7,000. Oh wow. That's really interesting. I mean, the reason I loved it was I'm not going to lie a7,000. Oh wow. Oh, really interesting. I mean, the reason I loved it was I'm not going to lie a struggle to attach to the audio file. $7,000 for someone's jet. Yeah.

What did you order? I don't know if you're doing the beat. But that's... No, I've been on your jet. Can I just say, she's a lovely craft. Benando runs a frugal snack pack. One mini baby bell, a factored crisp stuff. And no brand M&M fun size. So, you know, and it gives you a little indicator,

how does she have a z-4 this night? Yes, I love that indicator. Brienne, thank you. That's the first time I've seen someone struggle to catch the audio for. It's been an idea of what people are facing out there that hoops. You're making people jump through. It's even humane.

Hey, can we start the show off today? I'd actually like to invite one of the friends that works on the podcast here with us. One of our own Sila Remembers, Radio Mark. Okay. I believe in a recent episode named The Man To Go For if you're after a long fell. Sorry about that, Mai. Hey, thank you for having me on the show. It's a good whole project.

I've got, well, I'm going away this weekend, right? Going away with a family. Now, I've got an Nintendo Switch and home, which was bought predominantly for, it's time for sunny. There's a thing called, there's like this stuff, you can build out a cardboard called Nintendo Labo, Mark knows, he's into switches. And it's a match for that stuff.

Switch is the one that you can play on a red controller and it slides off. That's controller slide up. Are people liking those? When I saw them come in, I was like, this seems dumb. Supposingly, they seem, Jack, they seem popular. Oh, I don't know, I thought the same thing as Andy.

I was like, oh, people are really gonna see. Yeah, I mean, you know, for you and me, and I were PlayStation or Xbox Man, we're more computing power for our gaming tastes. But the switch is doing some innovative stuff. So it's good. You're a switch man, eh? Well, I'm a PlayStation and switch man,

but the appeal of the switch again is that you can take high profile games on the go with you. That's the main advantage. So we've got a family little couple of days away coming out this weekend and I thought to myself, you know what, we'll take the switch because we need to do it to Sonny's 5 now. He's at the age where he can probably do half an hour on the switch, got Mario Kart. So I go to Mike, what else is a good game for me for Dad? Because if we're taking the switch away, Mayas will load it up for me.

Yeah, yeah, he's only been better than seven o'clock so I'll have things to do. Yeah, maybe I just need to go to the toilet for four hours. I just need to do a go on in 60 minutes go and go and do some switch time. So I get a mic. He's always carrying out this game. What is it? Super Smash Brothers. Super Smash Bros. The current iteration of which is called Super Smash Bros. alternate because it's the ultimate addition of the game Right, so I go should I get should I get that? Should I go so I go and I'll just get that and I reckon I can in a week I can get good and I'll be at it because it's you battle each other's like Street Fighter, but with

So it's like a fight it's a fighting game all stars Nintendo characters game with a few guests characters including Sonic the Hedgehog and the few guest characters including Sonic the Hedgehog and Daphne. Were you from Street Fighter? Huge move for Sonic, he's a seeker boy. He was one of the biggest competitors, yeah. Right, so to... So Nintendo make this one. Yes. Do they pervigely make Sonic a bit terrible?

No, to be honest, I've been in there pretty fair to all of the third party characters. I just fall over out of nowhere. And Mario comes in and goes, Hey, where's the g your rings now, funny boy? I'm not the so first of Nintendo. How's it going with that? Sonic Shiloh's always tied together.

I am at the programmer. You'll never be with me on the platform. So if there's none of that, there's none of that. Right, really Mr. Trink. Pac-Man's in it as well. Yeah, right. Oh, right. I think he's the oldest character's in it as well. Yeah, right, right. Yeah, he's the oldest character in the game.

So, anyway, so they battle each other, right? So who do you like to play? You know, that's a quick question on the Pac-Man from... Why? So you've got characters, like someone from Street Fighter. Yeah. And against Pac-Man, you have a spear with a... It's sort of with Pac-Man's in a 3D render with arms and legs.

I'll show you later. I'll show you later. I'll show you later. He still has the traditional round. He has full with a male head. Yeah, but he has the ability to float. Yeah. So that's slightly magic.

I know he walks on the float. He can't float in this. Well, now they're giving him arms. Yeah, yeah. Well, I guess we're always there in the game. You just couldn't see him because of pixel rationing. Or it was just a bird's eye view and his feet was always under his eyes,

hiding his arms on the other side of his body. Yeah. Now Mike, who do you like to play? I like to play as this character called Ness who's one of the lesser known Nintendo characters. He's basically a psychic boy who can shoot fire out of his hands. Pretty cool. Basement for his story. Oh, we all shoot fire out of his hands. Pretty cool. Based on Trissori.

We all have our versions of Cool Dove. Now I go to Mike. Alright, well I'll get one on us since I'm staring down the barrel of a few days away. Plenty of time on my hands. We've probably heard Mike do it this game for a year. Off air. He went to a competition. Yeah he went to a tournament, didn't he?

Yeah. Yeah. Just a couple, I've done a couple competitions it this game for a year. Off air. He went to a competition. Yeah, he went to a tournament, didn't he? Yeah. Just a couple, I've done a couple competitions. I usually lose pretty quickly, but I'm really there for fun, so I don't really care. Sure, see you. I might a little bit. That's not true in Delhi, because the first time you went,

you were devastated. I was devastated. Didn't you try and hack in to find out who was entering the competition so you could throw a brick through there, wouldn't you? No. What percentage of player would you say you're in a star? I'm hacking to find out who was entering the competition so you could throw a brick through there when you... LAUGHTER No. What percentage of player would you say you're in a straight line? I'm not in the top.

Like, I'd say I'm good at the game, but there are some people who are so good at it. Right, freakishly good. So, I go to Mike before outside. I go, why don't I just get this Smash Brothers game and I'll have a week to practice and I'll play next week and I'll beat a beat you. Yeah. And you laugh.

The laugh you're saying now. You're cackled. Like the thought of me beating him, he just thought was so hilarious. Why can't I beat you? I am just so sure. In a week you'll just be terrible. I can already tell. You're going to get nowhere with this.

I can't. Wow. I can't. I already know. And you're going to make something up like. I can't. Wow. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you.

I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you.

I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I owe it to you. I. So, I'm quintin' off. What a point of I just agreed not to turn it off. Well, you can't be trusted. I can't be trusted.

Quite unquote, the aim is to think, here's what I reckon. Do you think if we played 10 games, I could beat you once? It depends on the rules. Like, are we using items on a flat stage or no items? I'm a deloaded, I don't know. Classic stages, there's lots of different variables. Just his traditional guys. Classic. What's the most classic form of duel?

I'm going to say two lives on a flat stage with no items. Yeah, I mean, it all means a thing. I'm going to say four and a half glasses of shiraz. It is same as monical. Two breath, two breath, six. And the wind at my back. In 10 games, in 10 games, I would give you one win, but it would only be because I stuffed up.

Don't know that's not going, that's like saying to me. Oh, Naomi Osaka, you won the open it, but I think it's all stuff. If I had been serving all this, it's like I planned to, I would have fun. Okay, in that case, I'll beat you 10 times. That's what, yeah, it's a competition. Yeah. All right, you reckon you beat me 10 out of 10, so all I'm going to do is beat you once

in ten games. I don't think it'll happen though. One quick question. Yes. The stage. Like, can you, full of the stage and kill yourself or something like that? Yeah, the idea of the game is to knock the other person off the stage. Right. If you do that, you lose.

Okay. And do you have a health bar as well? No, it's a, God, we're getting into the technicality, but it goes up and the higher your number, the higher your health, the further you will fly off the stage and therefore, the easier it is for the opponent to knock you off the stage. So are we, but you're not coming to the game with like a pre-built avatar with like all this experience points or something? No, I'll play this. There's no experience points. You can't be like, you can't log in as radio mic. Oh, hang on, he's got 10 magic batteries. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Hey, I was in a conversation the other day. Me too.

It was great. It was with you. Back and forth. That was fun. Learning things. I didn't like this. I really liked it. You'd listen, you'd do something in.

No, but you both were like this. The person was talking about Addy's workplace, how there are people that are ghosting another car out of the car park where the boom gate goes up and you see people just tell other people that's there enough to pay. And you and I do this every single day as we leave this building. And it's only a rule. It's only because it's our protest against the price of parking. I think the rich are getting richer there. I think there are fat cats right at the top of the pile behind those exorbitant prices. And it's how I was striking back.

But I, in this moment, because someone else in the conversation went, oh, that's so dangerous. And I just had to jump on board to pretend to be appalled. Dangerous. I'm like, oh, it's so dangerous. And it's one lady goes, probably startles the person that they're at their, they're at their front. I don't even know.

I'm talking from someone that's doing it almost daily. You victim really knows. So these are the things that I've drives to a boom game that's lands on the brakes. And it's your job as a precision driver behind the car to know what you're doing. Be awake, be alert. Don't forget to tell me. I know, I'm just saying. I was completely idiot. If you ever doing. Be a wake-be-alert. Don't tell me. I was completely idiot. If you ever see this lady again, let him have a hug.

Well, I went the opposite direction. I was like, oh, yeah, that is dangerous. Isn't it? I'll be sure to take down the number plate of somewhere. I say we set up a stakeout. But it led me into a segment we could do today where I wanted you guys to think of things that you can pretend to be a Paul about even though you actually do them. Yeah, right. Okay. So I think we shouldn't be in a high society setting

So Jack, I give you some music and I'll kick things out. Okay Hey guys, yeah, you don't believe what I saw the other day. I just see There was a fellow who was on the plane. Yeah, 20 don't believe what I saw the other day. I just see. There was a fellow who was on the plane, yeah, 20 minutes till landing. He turned his phone on off flight mode and started getting texts and emails, getting back to family members. I saw a guy that didn't even turn his phone off,

because he just thought if it could really damage the telemetry, they wouldn't let us have him. Yeah, I thought no, no, no, no, that's not for you to decide. And he, I saw a real bad thing the other day. So a guy at a restaurant and it was a situation when you go out of your own meal, put a bunch of stuff from the table. And he was eating all the table food

before he went to his own meal and he took certainly more than his fair chair over the popcorn chicken here of the group stuff before I take a nut on. That's pulling the spirit of eating out. Very similar to that. I was at a cafe where I saw the

self-serve waters and there's a big picture to serve the self-serve waters and the guy got up and took the self-serve waters and there's a big picture to serve the self-serve waters and the guy got up and took the self-serve water picture to his table. The as in the picture of... Oh, big! Oh, he's the H. He took it over himself because we all want to collect those photos. Thank you.

The Java. The Java. The Java. The Java. You're laughing. This is our society. Hey, Ham, you'll be appalled at this. What happened? The other day, I was on the way home and I saw a guy that clearly wanted to turn left,

but the left handland was full. Lane was full. So he went down the right headline and then put his indicator on as if he'd made a mistake and then ended up getting 40 to 50 cars ahead of point. And that's, I mean I noticed the giant time saving advantage in that unfortunate favor of the brave and what's anyone going to do about it, but that's not all. I saw a terrible thing the other day. I was in Andy's jacuzzi with a few people,

and I saw someone doing a wee under the water. I thought, no, no, no, no, no, no, I can't do a wee under the water in Andy's jacuzzi. Hey, we value all our value and important podcasters. I go to Hamishneed.com, you can fill out the form. And Locklin, Harryman did exactly that. Welcome, Lock. Thanks for having me. This is exciting.

I love it when these ones happen because sometimes we know who's coming in and we've had a small debate over with the worth of airfare or not. I don't know what Lockhe is doing here. No. Lock, you wrote this, right? Without fail, I can tell the gender of any dog just by looking at its face. Really? I wrote back, can you do it with a photo?

You wrote back, yes, I said see you next week. Easy is that. What? I mean, this is what laughing some do. Some dogs are just furbable. I sometimes can't tell the gender of a dog, even if I'm looking between its legs. Yeah, some are harder than others.

Yeah. We're curly hair dogs. I have a little, I take a little bit more time to. When did you discover that you could tell the gender by the face of the dog? Well, it was about 2012 and I just good year for I made a pretty bold claim to a bunch of my mates that I had this ability and they to me honest That's how most of the people on the segment end up here

It's just been proclaimed to agree with people and then sometimes we sometimes we'll go, I think I can actually do this. Yeah, and they proceeded to pretty brutally shut me down, and as often occurs, and then they tested me, it was about five of them, and I would have got about 27 out of 30, right? Wow, I love those numbers. Today there are six months that we've put in front. Now three. Three would obviously be chance. Yeah. So we're looking for, I think you need six out of six for an eight coin.

And then five out of six for a one coin. Yeah. You happy to play a lot? Um, yeah, let's do this. What sex is that dog in the window? Locky knows just by seeing its face. Is there a doodle on that doggy in the window? Who knows? Was there a female pun sat in its place?

Locky, are you ready for the first dog? Yeah. Jack's like this already. You love this because Jack's got a dog. Do you know what sexier dog is, Jack? Yeah, she's female, but a lot of people think she's male. Ooh, she would be a tricky one. Yeah, she would be tough.

Is this Jack's dog? Dog number one. Here we are. Right. Is that a golden retrieval? Golden retrieval. Yep. Tough breed.

Why is that a tough breed? They're just very similar looking. Yeah, I mean, but I just think all dogs are unisex looking. It's a little bit of a travel. It's a little bit of a travel. Yep. Tough breed. It was a tough breed. They're just very similar looking. Yeah, I mean, but I just think all dogs are unisex looking. Wrong. Like you. But it's like, I mean, I know it. Crofts and stuff when you see one at the dog show and it's like pink ribbons in its

hair, not the boys can't have pink ribbons in their hair, but sometimes it's a giveaway, but just in the park. Locked in male or female? Female. Roll. Ah! Oh! Tough start.

Why were you thinking female there? Is it the softness of the eye? Is it? That is exactly my main go-to. Yeah, really? Giving away the old facial recognition algorithm. Dog number two. Still one going going going going.

One going going going going. I mean, just now. That's a tough dog. I can't even see the eyes of the eyes. Yeah, the eyes of the eyes. Would you like to pass? If you think it's a tough dog, would you like to pass? No.

OK. Because ultimately I've got a 50, 50, do you have to do that? Like, Lynn? Well, we could knock out one wrong answer. I know. It was it be a million install? I'm going to say female. He's got it. Fantastic. What led you to that being a female snoutser?

I just feel like a male would have a grubby of face. Okay. Tough find that's a really difficult breed because it looks, I mean, the nature of that breed is it has a handlebar mustache, which is obviously predominantly off in a male thing. So your brain's going male, but it's actually a female with a handlebar mustache. Dog number three Australian bulldog. I feel like that's a female. I was going to say it's a soft iron. You're row throwing and you're out of the competition. Do we want to see how well you would have got because at the moment you were one from

three. That's the tossing a coin would have been better than row. That one was a male. He was a pointer. Oh, the shoes are a throw. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are.

Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are.

Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are.

Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we are. Here we go. Grudel? Female. Male, that's one from five. That's believable. And finally, an Italian mastiff. Really beautiful. Cross Australian bulldog. More puppies are harder as well. Yeah, nothing.

I think of this. You've had some troubles with the full-grown ones. In fact, I'd love to know which ones are the degrees. Yeah. Because at the moment you were phenomenally being out of bed against the house. They're all a little female. No.

It's female. One from six. It's even more impressive than being able to get it. A man that couldn't ever distinguish gender. The man didn't see gender. Yeah, completely. It's gender equality. Completely asexual in the eyes of Lock.

But you did pick them all as dogs, didn't you? Yeah. The man that can see species two weeks ago with a token of no value hand. Not even worth that. No, it's not. Like, let's do this for your mate. I'm going to tear off a bit of scrap paper here and just, when in Grayled, say cheers.

I was going to write cheers and I was saying that, hey, Mish, and it's obviously implied, although I won't write it, yeah, um, you know, for nothing. Yeah. It's like, obviously implied applied there after the cheese. And then Anders gives us a sign. Yeah. And we won't go so.

One level down from the joke, I could have known about you. It's a great leap note. Oh, thank you. What, what do you have to skip to come in today? Absolutely nothing. Yeah. Yeah. So the day, the day we've had,. I always nice to have a walk.

I'm going to go off. Thanks, luck. Never tell it I did it again. Thanks, guys. Hey, anyway, it's going to try and get the definitive list of power moves and put them into a coffee table book. But we don't have enough for the book yet. It's too many coming through, and we're going to keep banged through them. Let us log some more into the annals of history.

Real simple one. Real simple one. I love, some of those I just love simple ones. From Megan, and someone rings you, you don't want to talk to, say, right at the start of the phone call, sorry, my phone's about to go flat. And then at the time of your choosing, hang on. I mean, really great. Really great. And that I, that is done, you haven't ignored them because if someone is pestering you, let's say hypothetically it's a family member.

You gotta call them back eventually. But if you go, sorry my phone's about to go flight, you hang up. It's been called for them to chase you down in a few hours. Exactly. When your phone is theoretically that. Or so they'll just cut to the chase. Oh right, they'll get out what you would choose on a charter.

Oh yeah, absolutely. That's really good. Hey Michael, Senses in, Power Move. Works best when you're with a male friend at a restaurant being served by a waitress. As your friend begins to give his order from the menu to the waitress, I abruptly interrupt and ask him, why are you using a deeper voice? Mm. Ah.

Ah. Ah. It's a cracker. I reckon I've got one here in, really good. Got one here in the same vein. Great. Of pretty much just putting someone in an impossible position.

Cause the great thing about it is to defend it, admits defeat, and also it's in your eyes that you continue to lie. Comes from Alex Butteris. O'Hillads, this move works, especially when a group, when not everyone knows each other that well. Turn to one of your fins that needs to be ported down a pig or you need to establish dominance over.

Works a lot better if it's a guy for reasons. We'll see in a second and say gee that fake tan turned out well It doesn't matter what they say after this. They are now known as the fake Yes, congrats Hamish on the SP You Alex trying not to mention it try to move on with my life. Appreciate it though. William Scott writes in, the ultimate power move he thinks, for those who can play a musical instrument. If you're getting to know someone, and they say they play the same musical instrument as you,

immediately offer them a lesson. No! Hahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha! Hahaha! Are you playing guitar too? Alright, if you want me to go and give you a lesson, any time. Good. Good one.

So good. I'd love to offer someone a drum lesson. Hahaha! Because I want that. If you would need me lessons. I give you a drum lesson. Hahaha! Okay, so these guys here, these are the sticks. Yeah. I give you a draw, I see. Okay, so these guys here, these are the sticks.

Jack, this is the stool, you wouldn't know about that because you don't have 16 cents a week. It's a high one. Ando, this comes in from David. David grabbed, I don't know what he grabbed, but David grabbed. Can I guys, when you're at a trivia night and you come out with a team name, like pub trivia,

which is not a fun place to be, since you don't regularly go to trivia, I was a recently at a kind of fundraising trivia night, you forget the names, the fun, oh, come over the funny name. Trivia Newton, John. Always, every trivia night someone suggests it. Or like, you know, just something that rhymes with quiz,

something rhymes with, you know. Quiz each pants. Yeah, quiz in your pants, quiz in your face. Yeah, quiz everywhere. And you just go, they've all been done. And it's like, what is the point of being involved in this pun contest where all the puns have been punned? This is a good suggestion.

So I'll take care of it, which usually everyone's like, you're great, good. I don't want to have to be throwing names in. And just write down your own name and code. So what is it? What is it called? Hey, you should go. Immediately a search here is the dominant force in the crew.

And you'll be getting a lot of recognition from whoever's writing the poetry. Really good. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that. I love that.

Ando. I was just having a cruise through some older emails. This one, this one popped out. It's a couple of months old. But caught my eye not because I think we should talk to the person in question, but because someone is almost challenging one of the absolute pillars of our show for their title of supremacy. Well, someone's challenging Hawks for inventions. Now, a lady here, Carla DeFiori, has written in, touting husband, maybe he's invention.

So I think it's better than hogs. It's better than what hogs could come up with. Fennelis has hogs. Was on our radio show for many, many years after we discovered that he had an Excel spreadsheet on his desktop computer that has had ideas.xls. We found that he'd been harboring ideas for inventions. Some that he suggests in the show that we laughed at

have gone on to make millions of dollars. He can't turn it over to him. No,'d like to see a hogs would approve of this, having the stamp of being, is this of hogs quality? Right. Is this something he would be proud of? Yep. And is this car in fact right? Yep.

Or is this indeed a falls air and you can never get to hogs quality? Hogs you there? Good night, Jim. Hello, nice. Have had your own for a while. I'd love it to have you back. Good night, Jim. Hello, nice. Have had your own for a while. I'd love it to have you back. Good to be back.

This is good chat. Good to be back. Hawks. Hawks. Hawks. Do you accept this challenge? Are you a great of failure, sis, Eddie's idea? To give us your rating of, as to whether or not you'd be proud to call

this a hog's invention or if it doesn't cut it, not a tamaster. Eddie, you just got one of my ideas and tried to make a better or just a brain-y-wee. I think this is a brand-newing. Thanks for freshy mate. It's in the napkins arena. Oh, napkins. Have you ever done anything with napkins before? No.

They've done well over the years though. I have done well over the years. They're often seen on tables and people like them. Yeah. Well, if I were to reuse all, I guess, the pre-annoying out there. Yeah, you have it at Washham. If I said to you on the spot, I know I've never done this before but would you better think of a napkin invention in the arena of napkins Anything pop into mind

um Oh The heavy air in the washing I gave the washing I see you're thinking like I was thinking like them put the menu on the napkins Well, you know, you know, the really good quality, silk napkin. Silk? Not really good quality like raincoat. And the rain just falls off. Oh yeah.

Yeah. You could just have the food just falls off. So we never get on the food, but how does it, it's usually get the food off your mouth? Yeah, but normally you can't put it on your lap. Yeah, we had sausages, laugh, I've got the dirty thing. Yeah, it's last night everyone. We had sausages, they came out called. The guys go, hey, would you like me to chop them up? And we're like, yeah, maybe, hopefully, no, no, we'll chop them up.

And then, we'll go to the restaurant and we're like, yeah maybe hogs, no, no, we'll chop them up. And then hogs, I'm a restaurant. A restaurant, yeah. So because we're going to share these sausages anyway, hogs go cut them up and he's first down stroke with his knife. No, no. Just catapult it all the sausages onto his lap, not to the chair. Now yeah, hogs, if you'd had some sort of drives a bow in napkin, well all the sausages would have then fallen

onto the floor. Baff, you've got the napkin, you don't have to wash it. You just oil it up and you'd meal. Just put a resin coating. A rubber gun. A gum resin. The problem could be there though, Hugs. Say you're eating a Bolognaise,

drops into your lap, it starts sliding off because it's Teflon napkin, and that lands on the carpet. Now, for the cost of the napkin, you could have absorbed the Bolognaise, but it's now on the carpet. And I mostly use my napkin to wipe my mouth.

I'm not sure if I want to rub the scotch-guarded. Where will it go? It'll just smear it over your face because it will never jump onto the napkin. Yeah. Anyway, go back to Kyle. What, sorry. That's not a terrible idea, Hulksy.

Come in some sort of plastic edge on your napkin for scraping your face. Yeah. So it, yeah. Yep. So it scrapes it onto the napkin. Oh, it's reversible. What's reversible, Morghie? Yeah, you've got. Tal on one side the napkin. Oh, it's reversible. What's about reversible morgue?

Yeah, you've got talon on side. So you've got tali on one side. We don't face down. Perfectly stain proof of waterproof on the other side. And so you put that bit on your lap? You know what the best napkin is, the baby watch. Yeah, those bambi wipes. I mean, it's not great for an environment but I don't think since I've had kids I haven't gone back to the normal neck. It's so, I'm just using baby wipe. I do use baby wipes to wipe the table. You know, and if there's a clean corner, if there's a clean corner, no, you're jeans and stuff, they're great.

If there's a clean corner, and then you go, I just, I should wipe the baby's face. Yeah. Because I've been just cleaning up the table in my hands and stuff. And you usually just save like a little corner for the baby's face. You try not to put the dirty wipe on the baby's face, always think, you can do that, you're doing right parenting.

All right, here's Eddie's idea, all right, Hogs? Yeah. They're not called serviets, they're called sleaviets. Their napkins that go over your arms have an elastic wrist on them. Oh, right. And they go up to your elbow so you can wipe, essentially be wiping your mouth on your sleeve.

Well, don't remind me of the boy who gave you last night as well. Am I right? You're okay with that. I think this guy may have had some issues but he came into the meet-up and he said good-aid to us and then he sat down and proceeded to put on a poncho full poncho and plastic gloves and ate his meal with his hands. Hang on, this is someone you're in, one of your mates? No, just a guy that was in the store.

That was also another customer. Another customer. So he went to the shop. He started himself for three months. And he came into the make-outs to a dinner and he just ordered up an absolute store. Couldn't have seen. He was unbelievable.

Couldn't have seen the honor poem. It was so big. And then he was at another table by himself. Yeah. And the way he practiced himself, he put on a full plastic poncho, hood on, and then put some plastic gloves on, like surgical gloves, like a doctor would, and then just got sausages bored to re-react with these hands.

What do you mention this today? That's the strangest thing I've ever heard. Why wouldn't you mention it today? Because I saw last time. I saw a man in a full-run coat in surgical gloves hitting ten hundred sausages. Yeah. And, well, yeah, I didn't know where they hear. I didn't think he had mental issues. I honestly think he just

has to remember this. You said he's starved himself. What do you call it when you donate for an operation? Yeah, it'd be fasting. Hang on, have you had an operation? No, but that was just the way of me knowing what the word was. He was fasting for three months. And then dressed as a fasting for three months is dying. But then he dressed as a surgeon. Yeah, then dressed as a surgeon.

Maybe this logo is his new self, and it's for the over three months. Yeah, it was a way reminded me of this idea, which is quite a good idea. But you probably look like the bloke that we saw last night. Yeah, which is quite a good idea, but you probably look like the bloke that we saw last night. Yeah, you wouldn't do it on a day. You wouldn't take a sleeve yet on a day.

But what about for ribs? I love it. What about a rib? Put gloves on it as well. Better. I mean, you could get a good enough quality paper for the gloves. Or do you reckon use your hands. I like it just on the sleeves.

So you can be using your phone. You can feel like it's fine. It's the same way as those crab stores, they make you wear the full bib. This is even better. Do you know what? You say don't do it on a first date, but I say do do it on a first date.

What, put a whole poncho on and search your own. No, put your sleeve yet. I'll just go. Yes, this is me. Sleeve yet, so I'm fine. This is what you're gonna get. Now, join me. I'll put a pair for you. Fork in just go. Yes, this is me. Sleeve you it's up five. You're gonna get now join me I bought a pair for you. Yeah, fork in the road. Are you with me or against me?

Because if you're if you're the person for me, I say we ought to up an absolute mess here put our sleeve you it's I don't know and I know any difference. I like that idea was more just the full-poms Yeah, I said you could close it look like we at one point nobody was gonna kill us all But And then we realized what he was doing. Oh, he's put those beedies on it, dexter uses it. Yeah. Hulks, do you like it? I like it.

Oh, I mean, if I've pitched 100 inventions to you guys, it wouldn't be in the top hundreds. Oh, this thing. Like, oh, that's not what I mean. We come close, and I'll work. What's your worst? Probably... Probably the work work out. Yeah. I was the member of the pedal underneath the office chair and it was powering your office lamp.

I think that got invented though, didn't it? I thought your worst was easily the fake pool. That's what might not be the worst as well. The fake pool didn't even be wealthy worst was easily the fake pool. The fake pool to make you wealthy. I think you're wealthy, but it is. Ten cents a day to do the deep pool. Yeah. Isn't that your worst? No, fake shares will be out as well.

Fake shares. No, fake shares. Fake shares. I want to make the whole start up another share market. Yeah, but it kind of happened with Bitcoin. I mean that was the point start up another share market. Yeah, but it kind of happened with Bitcoin. Was the point of faith shares to tell people that you own them and you don't? You're not all of them are going to send them out reports and tell them how they go.

I was fraud. No, we're not fraud, so they knew it was fake. They just had how it's feeling on the day of how it was going to perform. It was the same. It was a game. It was a game. It's the same way as people have had a life where they, you know, go, yeah, it's like, you could go, oh, great, my shoes are doing well, even though they mean that. So it's for the feeling of your shoes going up, but you try, you exchange real money for

that. Yeah, well, I didn't graph that out, you know. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's not a cost neutral exercise. You go pay for graphs. I still think the fake pulls worse All right, thanks very much very good to talking to you geez the um our reckon will get driers a bone contacting us within the week to offer up a sample

Yeah for a survey yet for the absolutely impervious survey Um, it will have to be long because you know it will just slip on to the clothes obviously. It will be long. Yeah, almost have to touch the ground. Oh, that's a sheet. It's a cloak that you put over your legs. It could go to somewhere. It could go to somewhere.

What about a bucket in between your legs like a pouch so you can start off like a funnel and it all funnels down into the bucket that you have to get at the end of the night. No bear. Thanks, dogs. Speak to your lab, will you? But... Ando, before we go, I want to float a potential future special skill past you. Great.

Is he in today? Or she? He's Melbourne. He's Melbourne, but the question I have here is, what that I'd need to be answered satisfactorily? What version of this would we deem impressive? How do we make this get to a level where we go, Okay, fair play. Get him in. Have a coin. Mike is his name. He says I can build a care furniture better than anyone. I volunteer to do it for friends because I find it so satisfying.

I've never tried, but I reckon I could build something without the instructions as long as I had a photo of the thing. Wow. Now I mean, it's I- Okay, here we go problem problem paradise. Yeah Jackie you're new no, I thought maybe something was happening with your jaw Do you think that's impressive Jay? Well, could you look up online? Maybe the people say what is the most difficult thing to get from my care and build it? I just thinking of when I built the war drums

that we have and it wasn't that tricky. Which you do build in my house. Which I built. I did a lot. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it.

I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it.

I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. I actually did a lot of it. on did you your initially? No, I was think that was my thinking face It was like quite an open mouth I'm just trying to think like I don't think we get unfortunately I just don't think we're ever gonna get to a point where everyone goes. Yeah, that's impressive everyone goes, yeah, that's impressive. Right, but particularly males, because with building things, we all get, you know, you get there in the ends. Everyone gets in there, and they also, everyone just thinks there's so much better

at building things than they are, particularly males, not the stereotype. So I think it's very hard for us to go to him, yeah, that would be impressive. But the hardest thing in, I would watch it, or listen to it and go, I feel like I could do it. I feel like I could do it.

I don't mind the idea about the hardest thing in IKEA, it, or listen to it and go, I feel like I could do it. I feel like I could do it. I don't mind the idea about the hardest thing in IKEA, but to build without instructions. I mean, without instructions is impressive. Yes, but again, it's normally just Alan, K, Scrooze, and a few Dow points, maybe. All right. Yeah. I mean, here's the kicker.

I've got him out. Sorry, Mike. I can hear this. Mike, he's the kicker. I've got him out. Sorry, Mike. I can hear this. Mike, did you hear the discussion there? I did. Jack says he wasn't yearning. I don't know. For sure, we don't have cameras in here.

You just need to see back the footage. Mike, do you, sorry, I thought we were speaking in confidence. I didn't realize you were standing by, and I probably would have had a better bedside manner. And the thing is, Mike, I have no were speaking in confidence. I didn't realize you were standing by and I probably would have had a better bedside manner. Hey, the thing is, Mike, I have no doubt. I don't know that you're very, very good, but can you see a way here, Mike, where it's so impressive, it's worthwhile

sort of filming it and publicizing it? Oh, I thought the no instruction thing was pretty impressive. You said it right. So it was right. Do you see what I mean, though? Mike, if you saw someone on www.hameachanady.com building something like here, would you go I could do that?

It's post so if the video was just me then standing next to a cabinet pretty happy with myself, it wouldn't be that impressive. No. What about this? What about Andy? We introduce some sort of, because we'd have to time lapse it, of course. But what if we put a time limit on it? And you never allow to stop and think, or something. So you can't stand back and scratch your head,

because I think that's where it really drags. Like if we're watching a time most of even someone just like mulling something over. He's what I would find impressive. Finally, here we go. Could you build it quick out then someone with the instructions? Okay. And I guess it's probably two of what? Jack Post. Who yawned?

Confident. Confident. Now we have a challenge. Now we have a challenge. Now we have a challenge. Now we have a challenge. We have one man in a room without instructions, but all of a sudden.

I like this. We have Jack Post in a room with the instructions. Who can build it quicker? Has to be built properly. Yep, for that, Mike. We're going to give it a go. Yep. We will pick the item. Yep. Is that it?

Yep. And we won't tell either of you until the day. They'll walk in and be a blind test. Now you are welcome this weekend to go to IKEA and buy one of everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you can practice a great returns pulse. Yeah. This is it, hold it.

Seal it all up, take it back. And I like it, Andy. Now that's something we wouldn't be yearning through. Yeah. Who are you looking at? I mean, that still wouldn't know that something we wouldn't be yawning through You really can I mean, it still wouldn't be that impressed because no, no, it's not that we're gonna be impressed with him We're just interested in the challenge now. We're back it back to being interested. You like Mike? I'll try my hardest Okay, well you've got to be interested in this too. I am I'm match fit because I've built the wardrobe only in the last three months

That's true. he's very fit. Mark what was the last thing you built? My TV cabinet. How long ago? Probably about the same. How I'm very interested, no yaw and zia. And indeed you love doing it. It's incredibly satisfying.

And did you have any trouble? I got there in the end. Okay, well that doesn't say... Now I'm back to you. I'm about to get in. Yeah, that is not getting my kid. I'll just give you the scenario. What if we both build it? I've got the instructions. I build my first. And it goes, yeah, that's probably because you had the instructions. And then that's the end of the day. Yeah, yeah. That's that setup. Well, that's the because you had the instructions and then that's the end of the day Yeah, yeah, that's that's a tour up. Oh, that's the risk isn't it? Yeah, because the reward is you really try Jack

We see you sweating and Mike smashes you and that's that's the fan that's the fantasy Mike is there something that you want In your life that's under 150 dollars Probably come up with something. Because Jack needs a still freeze drum kit. Oh. If you lose, you have to buy Jack the best stool for under $100. But you can select the item that Jack, if you participate in the thing, you have to buy a mic. What do you want, Mike? Not a drum

stool. Okay. Any more kids. Put me on the spot I'm not sure. That's alright you can think about it but you're happy to come up with something? I suppose yeah. It doesn't have to be for my care. Yeah and you're back from keep what you build. Yeah and we're back to this being interesting. I don't know, Mike, I'm going to be honest, you seem like a slow thinker. What? Yeah, I'm interested now. Now there's been a back and forth between Jack and Mike.

It's on, it's on, it's on. We'll get you next week. Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.