Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2019 Ep 64

Episode Date: August 7, 2019

1. Café confrontation 2. Pasties 3. Spoiler blessing 4. Power Moves 5. Fast as a calculator 6. This is your captain speaking 7. Bec’s ban 

A list-snap production. Activate your internet. Cause the Hamish and the Podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. Ahoj to everyone in my present company. Ahoj. And also out there. Also ahoj to Bentonham from...

I think it was... François. No. I think Jack said France before. All right, no, I think he's from America. I think. Yeah, I think... Well, we do appreciate...

I think roughly I remember Albert Kirk, perhaps. We appreciate everyone who can go to the hassle of letting us know what they're up to. Then we all know how hard it is to then get that file on your computer, search through all the desktop junk, have to attach it to the email. We're working on a WhatsApp, a one touch WhatsApp. No, not there's a few Spanish being thrown in the works.

All you have to do is just, you record your message, save it, you just stop. And upload it straight away. I'll be desktop open file, attach. At the works. Because all you have to do is just, you record your message, 70, just up, and upload it straight away. Best up I've been fall attached. At thewebsite.com. Oh, through a website as well. Goodness me. Ah!

Probably kid is still on your phone. Pro, that's the joy of WhatsApp. Okay. Anyway, Benton, thanks for telling us what you're up to today. Hey, it's Benton from Red D'Alberta. Today I'll be going to work where I'm the boss. Then I'll be working out and training like a boss,

and then I'll be going home to my wife and kids where I'll try and be the boss. But in like a pretend kind of way, which makes me sad. I think I'm real emotion. So Alberta. Yeah. So I said, I'll be curking wrong.

Alberta. That's okay. Where's Alberta? In Canada. We're about to get it. Up into the right. Do you actually know? So I said albuquerque, wrong. Alberta. That's okay. Where's Alberta? In Canada. We're about to get it. Up into the right. Do you actually know?

Mid-right. I'm a jack-massive country. Have you ever had a look at it on the map? Yeah. Could be bigger than America. Thank you, Benton, for that. Hey, to kick things off, you said you had something for me.

Well, and oh, I... This is amazing. I was walking along the street there though. I sat down and have a coffee, just an outside area at a cafe. It wasn't planning on being there long. Not too long after I got there, a young lady sat down with a book next to me, or sort of was a shared bench seat. And she, I could, she was giving you a strange vibe because she was reading a book, which is totally fine. You'll have to do that to cafe. But she was acting like, we were quite close to each other.

It was a long band. She was acting like, I'd sat there a second. I was like, don't give me a wee look because you chose this spot. You were approaching on my side. I was struggling to determine what this look was. Anyway, she puts the book down, she turns it and she goes, hey, I've just got to say, I listen to the podcast, big fan. I'll give you a dollar.

Yep. I went to offer for the dollar. She goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I have a story. Oh, she goes, I've actually, she goes, I was going to write in about it. Um, she goes, I can't believe I'm seeing you. Me and my friend was talking about this other day. Got a story about Jack. Oh, great. And I said, here we go, baby. All right. Is it like, he's wife, land this beautiful girl from South America. More about how like he's bought the cheap wood for his house.

Oh yeah that's going to be hard. Yeah, he's made from the, yeah. Made from the lumber yard, the stitching jack up going, I like to buy the cheap wood. I didn't know what treat would it be. Would it be the fact that he's kind of sneaking more sponsorship messages that people tell him? Yeah, it was something about his peanut butter sponsor. You hear he's got one? No. Yeah, Jack the other day goes that he's a peanut butter sponsor. You hear he's got one? No.

Jack, the other day goes, I got a peanut butter sponsor. Because remember, ages ago when Eddie the strong man enjoyed it, and Jack, I said the brand name of the peanut butter as a joke. Is that the one that came onto him?

Well, it's not a sponsor, I mean, they sent me a lot of free peanut butter. That's a sponsor. Jack goes, I've got a peanut butter sponsor. What does that even mean? And who? You know what a professional toast eater? Like, you don't need a peanut butter sponsor. What does that even mean? Yeah, and who? And what do they? You know professional toast data. Like, you don't need a peanut butter sponsor.

What you mean is a company's contact that you give you peanut butter for free. What brand, yeah? Mavis food. Oh, yeah. I've never heard of them. Picks are the best as far as I'm concerned. No, are they good?

Who? Mavis. No, what is the price? What's so good about them? It's like real peanut butter. Yeah. It doesn't even know the line. It doesn't even ready to promote.

It doesn't even ready to promote that if needs be. What good about it? It comes at zero exhaust. I do want to love the overheads. Fantastic. I hope you're happy with who you've got movers. This is the quality you'll get from Jack if you're looking for to sponsor and for stuff. Anyone else you're still looking for?

About from a drum or sponsor. Yeah. Oh damn, you put me in the spot but I'd love something free. That's just a general policy. Great, great. We're gonna, in 40 minutes time, we're gonna get Jack just blurred out something. I've been in it, he's been back. I mean, anyway.

Anyway, it wasn't, it wasn't about one of Jack's new responses, whether it's a slow guitar or an unheard of, peanut butter. It was, it wasn't about one of Jack's numerous sponsors, whether it's a slow guitar or an unheard of peanut butter. I could see the cleaning around. I thought, I know, this doesn't paint Jack in a good light. I said, can I get my phone out and record this? Can you record stuff on your phone? It's a year, it's very easy. I've done it with WhatsApp, it's one type. Can you, of course, have on your phone? It's a year, it's very easy. You just said, oh, yeah, I've done it with WhatsApp. It's one type.

And so I was able to just with one press of the button, get my phone out and record. Yep. At this stage, you've got to remember, I didn't know what the story was going to be, but I suspect it was going to be a bit of a stitch up for Jack's, but I wanted to go out. Let's all hear this for the first time.

Lovely. I won't say your name. I'm shaking. Don't shame. It's a pleasure. Yes, thank you. Love it and meet you. You just said to me. What did you just say to me? I've got a story about Jack. Great. What did you do? So my friend Nanny's and she was in the bait. Actually, I'm not sure where it was. I just

presume it was bait. But she was in a bakery and Jack was in front of her and he wanted to get a party. But then a little boy behind him was like, wanted to get a party. And there's only one party left. But then Jack ordered the party and ate in front of the kid and then he said, everyone squirted,

saw him, he's eyes and said, down Jack, that's the rule. Oh, right, well, that's horrible. Well, we'll bring that up with Jack on the show for sure. Thank you. No worries. Couldn't believe it. I mean, audio obviously. No, not no. I mean, you never gonna get the quality of the phone.

She got it. She did have a coffin in the middle of the made us sound like Hamish putting on it. I think that was... No, I think that was... Tell me about it outside. Like maybe a fly here. Well, may I call a surprise witness to the box? Michael come in. Oh my. He was at the bank. I'm surprised witness. Michael did you see Jack push this child over and squirt source

in his eyes? As I was hearing that story I realized that I was there for this exact thing. Don't tell me you were the little boy. Because you do look young. No, but if I do remember correctly, Jack did say you can have the pasty. How did you even know the kid wanted the pasty? I think he was pointing at it. And then he was pointing at it and say to his mom, oh, that's the one I want.

And we knew already because we asked, it was the last one. Okay, so hang on a second. Hang on one second. What was the mama attractive Jack? I did not do it for any mama attractive this. Okay, are you saying, are you saying, is that fair? I don't remember what the mom looked like.

It was more of a jack thing. You're, yeah, what about the girl working at the bakery? Was Jack trying to impress her. She was attractive, yeah. Okay, okay, you voiced that non-office. I'm trying to impress her. She was attractive, yeah. Okay. Okay. You voiced about 9-0-5. So are you saying that what essentially has happened here is I thought I was going to get a story about how Jack was a dirty dog and I got a story about how he was a good Samaritan

and I've somehow doctored the audio to make it sound like that wasn't the case. I mean, when you're done. That's a reposterous. Yeah. Just, just, just so you could still use some of the audio when you're not playing a story with Jagley like a hero. This is great. I can't believe the turnaround

from the start of the segment where I thought I was going to get thrown under the bus. And now I'm a hero. Yeah, you're driving the bus. Yeah, you're driving the bus. Thanks to Grundi's bus. And that's the bus. Jag needs a bus sponsor Ventura.

Ha ha ha. TUNE MUSIC So quick follow up here, Jay. Pasty follow up. Yeah. Why a pasty? That's that I say had that question too. What's do you like pasty? No, it's I just was ordering a pie. Yeah. I think the translation of the story is I thought was a pie. It's all in a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was a secret and leak pie. Yeah, that makes sense. That was a Hatsuit. It's taken in Lake Pye.

Oh, that makes for delicious. It actually makes you look better. Yes, because if you've been away from the past, I would give a pasty away all every day of the week. Well, you wouldn't because it would cost you money and the opposite of that transaction is what you desire. But you're right. You'd give up the opportunity to have a pasty any day of the week.

Jack, what if I told you you could have a pasty sponsor who would give you a pasty every day of the week or once a year, you could have a chicken and leek pie for free? I would honestly take the chicken and leek pie. I don't think I would, what is a pasty? Is it like a sausage roll? No, you're not going to get one now. It's a best for you. It's all vegans.

And it's usually past nap. They put a lot of past nap in pasties, not because it sounds the same, but because I think I reckon what happens is that the, at the fact where they make it in bulk, the vegetable supplier only sells them the veggies in bulk, like in a lot, like, yeah, well, this is a mix bag of veggies you have to buy. There's nowhere else they can put the pastips and they just chuck them in the past. It's an awful dish.

It's an awful dish. Thank you. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and received this week. Thank you. Thank you. Great. This is like when you and me had the bet about, well, so if you munk stay with the guy from the patch. Oh, yeah, yeah. And you put it in your phone. Oh, yeah, you forget that you thought about the whole time. They're great. I've got one, you know, I've still got one for years

into the future, which is, yeah, forgive a mate for something that he did. You see, we can still be friends. I can't say I've forgiven you until 10 years from now. Well, is it? So mine I entered in 2015 for August 2, 2019. It says, call M-Night Shamalon and then in the notes I've written on. I'm glad I'm glad there's an exploitation. But I actually just have that as a recurring Tuesday thing to do. So let's just for people who don't know him, I'm like, show on the...

He's like... Right, a director. He created like the sixth sense and... Signs, the village. The village. Yeah, he loves a bit of a twist at the end of... Twisty McGee was... He's suited him before he began publishing under M Nightsham.

Well, yeah, they're on the show, a while back. So in 2015, he was promoting he began publishing under M night show. Yeah, we had him on the show a while back So in 2015 he was promoting his film the visit on the show I remember and my notes have written he said people can give away the ending of the six cents 20 years after its release Oh and the reason I put on August 2nd 2019 is because August 2nd 1999 was the release of the sixth sense. Brilliant Jack. Well done Jack. Did he say that on our show?

Well, this is the audio of what he said. Jack's gone and done some work. There he is being put it in the calendar. Put it in the calendar. All right. This is from 2015. What's the statute of limitations on giving away a twist in a film?

I'd say 2020, 20, 20 years, 20. So just a bit less than the JFK file. Yes, like a very 20-year. Like a 20-year. You may release it after 20 years. I reckon like probably my first experience of don't give away something was the sixth sense. Like people going, I can't tell.

Like don't tell anyone what year was the sixth sense. See, you got four more years. Four more years. You cannot talk about that move. See, you got four more years. Four more years. You cannot talk about that movie. See, you wouldn't now live on radio. No, well like the 6th. Correct, I'll tell you why. For example, like the two leads of the visit are, you know, teenagers, right?

And there's a huge teenage population going to come to the visit. We're now going to go watch my movies. True. And that you guys were about to spoil it. No, no, no, no, no. What is that? I can't believe we get done for a spoiler. Like, you should hear the stuff I've spoiled on this show. 20 is four years, you have my blessing.

We have these blessings. We have M-Nod, Shemalov's blessing. To now officially spoil the end of the six cents. Should we spoil it to someone in particular? First. Oh, okay. I was suggesting that I was going to think we should just like, you know, say it now, but out loud, out loud. Yeah. Does you feel like 94 to 96% of people listening would be aware of the ending? Yeah.

In the six cents. You've had time to say it. Or then it's not aware of the film. Yes. Or they don't care for the film. Yeah. Yeah. Which is also, who are you going to suggest? Like calling someone and going, Oh, let's just go. Just going and how they film. Well, got some bad news for you. He's the ending. And we're allowed to. We had the director and writer tell us we can do it. Jack, I picked someone,

describe anyone from the very important pod just with the list. This is a whole reason we have a database. Sadly, we didn't put a drop-down box that says, have you not seen the six cents? Who is your favorite movie? Would you, do you like the clear of M Night Shaman Lime Lime Films? But, it's got the same token.

Are you interested in them? All right. Do you know what spoilers for you in 20 years' time? If authorised by the director, would you be interested in receiving two decade-old spoilers? This is Ingrid. Gotcha. Who wants to break it to them? I guess we check if they're saying it first. Well ideally the person we're looking for here is someone that hasn't seen it. It is aware of it. Oh not even aware of it. So it just hasn't seen it because then it's a real spoiler. Hello this is Ingrid. Ingrid. Ingrid, how are you going? It's Hamish and Andy here.

Really? Yes, really. Ingrid, we've selected your number at random Ingrid and thank you for contacting the show, being part of a valued and important podcast or list. Quick question, have you seen the six cents with Bruce Willis? Oh, years ago. Yeah. You have seen it.

Oh, I like, yeah, yeah have seen it. You have seen it. Oh, I like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't remember the twist or not. Yes, I do. Okay. That's all right. Well, we've just got the blessing from the director of that film to ruin that film. We're going to release the plot twist 20 years after it was made.

Which is like this week. Yeah, but we needed someone who hadn't seen the film. See, Ingrid, probably more of just a... we thank you, we love you. We'll um... we'll speak to you again soon. Yeah. Good luck. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you so much. Gosh, we couldn't be for ages. I mean, it was a popular film. Yeah. Jack. What about ages here? I feel like someone under 20. Okay, your Ingrid was, well, maybe I shouldn't say. She was in the 30. Jack, she was in the slot where she would have saved

the movies. What about Eric and more likely, someone like under 25? All right, Emma is 20. Yeah, she was born the year it was released. She wouldn't have saved that. She can't have, not of the movies. No, horrible thing to take your children to. And even if she saw it, she wouldn't remember the twist as an infant.

Oh, yeah. We're having a scarred by that film. Hello, this is Emma speaking. Emma, Emma, it's Hamish and Andy here. How are you? Good. How are you? You're really good, Emma. Um, hey, sorry to bother you. We just grabbed your number at random on our very good important podcast as a list. Quick question have you seen the sixth sense with Bruce Willis? I've heard of it. Oh perfect and do you know

the ending? Yes. Damn it. What's your understanding of the ending? His psychiatrist or something is actually a ghost. Yeah, it's pretty bad. I just realized actually, sorry, we haven't, that's it, yeah, that's, we've spoiled it. We haven't spoiled it for someone. No, but we've spoiled it now on the podcast. Or have you, because I haven't seen it, have you confirmed it? Yeah, yeah, we know that that happens. Do you want to know, but we weren't saying what it was?

Oh, I can't. Because the moment it's on the podcast, it's a spoiler. Oh. Donnie just occurred to me as Emma was answering, he sees the... We're not spoiling it live to someone down the phone. Right. But it's now been logged on the podcast as the ending.

Yeah, okay. Okay, so you think that suffices you? Oh, I mean, we could go... Yeah, because the whole hog is going, Bruce Willis, he was dead the whole time. Yeah, really? Yeah, I can see dead people. Halijos and yeah, exactly.

And Bruce Willis is dead. He's presented as possibly alive throughout the film, you never know that he's dead. Yeah. He's actually dead and that he's dead. He's dead, he's dead. He's dead. He's absolutely dead.

Dead, dead, dead, dead. Go, go, go. Emma, yeah, thank you. Emma, you have been part of spoiling the end of that film on the podcast. I'm so sorry to everyone who hasn't seen it. Don't have to be the director. Sorry, we should point out the director gave us out. He's blessing up for 20 years. Came on our radio show in 2015 and said in 2019, you can spoil it on this day. So the one that sounded like we rang up and tricked you into spoiling it. Well, the last guys with Emma. No, Emma, you got the full backing of Emma and Nights' channel.

Yep. Oh, great. From Emma to Emma. Emma, thanks so much. Emma, I love you. Anything else you want to spoil? No, no. No, no.

We don't have the blessing. I was going to be fine out the date. We could then call Emma back to do the spoiler. Yeah, let me know. Thanks, yeah, bye. Thank you, bye. Thank you, bye. Thank you, bye.

Thank you, bye. Thank you, bye. Thank you, bye. Thank you, bye. Thank you, bye. Thank you, bye. Thank you, bye. Hey, we're going to make a book by the...

Look, the start of next year, we've just talked about that. Yeah. There's so many coming in, we're thinking, geez, we... Because we have a nice three month break and we're trying to get a coffee table book I should at the end of the year we do yeah, um, just It's I think it's only 11 weeks And we said we'd make a coffee table book of the definitive list of powermers. Yeah, it takes about three months to make the ball It really does and that's where we're really gonna do like quite a lot of work on it over the sun break

Yeah, so we're letting it kind of pile up. I like how we're talking about this in August. Yeah, we're just we're letting it pile up and deliberately. I don't want anyone to freak out that that's an unattended pile. Very much got our eyes on the pile. Jack's seen us look at the pile. He knows you can test that. He can vouch for us. And then over summer, do we have a book launch? Yeah, we do, it's next June. Yeah. You never launch. That'd be great to do. Anyway, power moves, everyone.

Yeah. Take a guess off. And a pretty good one here from Rick. Rick Rites in, he goes, got power move yesterday. At sunset, a car pulled up next to me and did the hand-flashing sign. We tell someone, hey, you make your lights on on.

Oh, right. Put your headlights on. Yeah, hand-flashing sign. Flustered. I immediately did an apology wave and turned my headlights on. Then I realized it wasn't even dark yet and only one and about one in five cars had their lights on. This person got it. You can catch someone with an alert and flustered hand. Yeah, blood's on. Like it.

And Tim Simpson here, hand. Yeah. I think from America. Two bathroom based power moves. I'm just going to rip through two of it in a row here. Commission Grant. Works best in a group this first one. When someone says to the group, they're off to use the bathroom, yell out, make sure you wash your hands. No, that's good. You could also attack on this time. This time, thank you, man.

Actually, you wash your hands this time, yeah. I mean, we all know what it's suggesting you're person. And it doesn't normally wash his hands. And it kind of makes you look like a great person, for clearly forgiving them about the time when they did something really gross and didn't wash their hands. You know what even better for this one is if you're about to sit down with a group having tapas or things that are hand-based foods, you're yelling out, make sure you wash your hands this time for the good of the whole group. Great idea.

I am another one from the... Oh, sorry, can I add one? This is what we're working on. We're working on this. You're all going down're all going in, you're having some hand-based food. When you sit down and often like, toss, toss to tartas,

toss tartas, like a Mexican is often shared. Everything's shared by its days. Can't get solid food anymore. Everything's shared. Going, if I'm there with, you know, big group and, you know, we're all there and stuff and I look at you, like,

and perhaps you wash your hands before dinner. Oh, you're right. at you, like, I know, perhaps you wash your hands before dinner. Oh, you're right. I think you're like, oh, sounds like nothing up to something. And I would have lined up for me to go, I wash mine, and I use hand sanitizer. Or just maybe just give him what you're doing, give him what you were doing, I'd wash your hands before dinner. Sounds like this person's been doing this.

He's basically the crowd. And he's gonna touch everyone's feet. Um, one more ham in the bathroom department. Again, works best in a group session situation. If someone asks where the bathroom is, tell them where it is. Yep. They will say, they will say, hold off on the power cord, Jack. I suspect there's more.

They will say say thank you. Say again Jack. Hold. Then reply with no worries everyone has to poo sometimes. I don't know why we're at that state in society bit calling someone out on a public phone. That's why I invented gone in 60s because public poo seemed to be yeah And it just it actually seems like you haven't got your life in order if you accidentally left your pooing to a public So I get it done. Oh, right. I'll rise you having literally haven't got your shit together You've got it together now now you're out and about This is a great one. He's a bit of a conundrum here, and because they get emailed in,

I actually love this so much. I rode it down during the week, and I can't find the email. It's okay. But I remember the name. We rode in under Vony. Vony, right? So because I was like not Vaughn, Vaughn,

so Vaughn, wherever you are, A, thank you, B, apologies, because I'm paraphrasing this. This is a great power move. It's a shopping center power move. And it's a great power move to do to someone that has kids. And I think I, I, I feel this right in my heart because I'm like, jeez, if this got done to me, I wouldn't know what to do. If you see, very calm and at the shopping center, you have those little cars, the rides that are a

dollar, two dollars, like even just this week, I had my little daughter in one that was a bumblebee, right? And you look at the thing I made two bucks, I'm not paying two bucks for this. But my other choice is, she's two. So she jumps in, she doesn't know if it's on her own. No, I don't care. You're waiting, you know, it was waiting for Zoe. Very common to see people would have their kids in an event and it's not on. They're just killing some time.

Yeah. For one of these power movies is stride up, put the money in. Turn it on. Turn it on. Turn it on. Give the kids a ride. I like the parents. You wouldn't know what to do because it suddenly makes you look like a really tight parent and then someone's going to the rescue and I was just thinking what would I do? Take her off

because then you look like a meme. Take her off despite the guy. Try and get a dollar to him. Just so you don't know what it was. Just try and yell at him. Oh, thank you, mate. Good. And a pal move, another one for the car, from Curtis Jones. You need a minimum one passenger while striving. When you pull up to set a traffic lights

in there are donation collectors. Obviously, there's the driver here in control of the windows. Wine down the passengers window as the donation person. This now leaves them in the position where they have to say, sorry, and so they've worn their window down just for nothing.

Or they have to donate, and they obviously weren't gonna do it in the first place, as a scenario B power move, you can then offer to donate on behalf of the person. Just go, oh, okay, sorry mate, he doesn't have any money. I'll donate. So you look like the hero of the girl. Really like it.

And a special skill time. I bought this to the table this morning to you and I said, look, how do we feel about this? Sometimes we go back to areas that we've been in before. Yeah. And I think I spent for all of us when I say most of the time, if we've seen a guy guess shoe sizes, we've seen that.

And it's happened. If you've seen a guy throw a grape in the air and catch the mouth, 23 meters up in there, sky. So I'm going to come back and go and do it with the macadamia. It's like, well, we saw it with a grape. So we've sort of had it the same win resistance on those shapes. It's like, we saw it with a grape, so we've sort of had it at the same win resistance on those shapes.

It's just kind of the same sport. So I was a little reticent to bring this up because we had a guy, but we might remember last year on the show, who could divide any number by seven. And it was almost like he'd learnt the table. It was something, I can't remember, there was like a trick to it.

He was like, give us another 15 of you're doing one and a hundred. Oh, that's right. And then did I give him like 21 or something? I thought I was picking random numbers that I did accidentally pick. And number that was perfectly divisible by 700. Yeah, he went, well, three. But for the rest, he was getting it to some crazy decimals.

And we thought it was amazing. At the time, he kind of, I can't remember, but he sort of hinted like, oh, look, there is a system. I'm not actually just doing, not a savant as much as you'd think. Billions of calculations a second in my head, I just, I just know how to do this. So, it's still impressive. And, and that was that.

And I thought, for the maths arena, we don't delve there too often. That was, you know, we had enough. It's a big ask for a lot of people. Maths, anxiety is a real thing that no one sits down on their commute to listen to this show on the train and go, I would say it's fair to say, not the majority of people going,

boy, I have this math stuff. Yes. The heart of the bed. Well, for those people today, well, for those people you are in for a treat, because I saw this from Kirsten, she goes, look, yeah, the guy on that could divide seven by seven. Um, she runs my family and I were offended

at how impressed you guys were because my husband is a true human calculator. So he's not just doing stuff by sevens. According to Kirsten's email, he is doing lots of stuff. He's dividing by four digits. A multiply by four digits gets the decimal places down. That's a bit hazy, which is why I've got the husband up, Nathan. Nathan? Nathan, how are you?

Hi, boys. Oh, and can you explain, I think just because you... It seems to me that your wife was so excited when she was typing this down, she's made a few typos and it's a bit unclear to me. Exactly what you're my skill is. I just know it's so good you were offended by the other guy we had on the show. Yeah, yeah well I was listening to it you just like there's a repeated pattern with the number seven and all you got to do is know the starting digit and you're off and so come on.

Absolutely maths hack. Yeah and then you know I I was watching an MI Bryant tab in the YouTube video about a guy on 80s who's got talent, he had like 20 million views and he was doing pretty basic stuff as well. So I thought, yeah, I've got to get out in the public here. Yes. What was this guy, what was this guy with 20 million views doing?

So he did like some low double digits. Like he did 45 times 29, basically, no one 305 that's basic yeah yeah that's a it's gonna be between one three clean and one three 10 it's gotta be in that region okay so what parameters can you map in yeah sometimes a division it's just a I can do so seven I can do pretty much any single digit I can do three by one digit three digit by one, I can do three by one digit by one digit by two digit by two digit. I'm not sure what we're talking about.

This tells us that 129 divided by 17. Okay, so you can do any three digit number divided by any two digit number. That's impressive. And then multiplication, so not just low double digits, but any double digit number divided by any two digit number? Yeah, that's impressive. And their multiplication, so not just low double digits, but any double digit number, I can probably do it quicker than a calculator. So 53 times 72, 381 six, bang. There you go.

There you go. So let's play. So we've got three digits divided by two digits as one category, and then digs times two digs. Yeah. Yeah. As another category. Yeah. And look, if we give you fun, I'm prepared. Are we impressed by this?

I think I think we're pretty impressive. Yeah. I mean, you're going to have to. You could have just been reading the examples you go. I don't think you were, but I'm just saying if you did, then we get to the event. You go, I'll look guys, I'm time for me to come clean. I can't do it. What we thought we'd do is your wife did mention that you have for charity before, race to calculator.

Raced how fast a human being could use a calculator versus you, Nathan, the human calculator. We're excited to do that. And would we let, would we go five from five is an eight coin coin. Yeah, eight coin. He's too confident. I did.

That's true. That's true. I mean, it sucks. He's got a great. I'm confident in relative to what Oliver was doing. Not confident. Yeah, he remembers his name. So what we, I think because we gave Oliver, do we give Oliver a coin?

I can't even remember. Thanks, Nathan. Because we gave Oliver a coin, it can't be five from five to give Nathan a coin, but four out of five he beats me. He gets himself a coin. What about five or five? You really want to give away this eight, don't you? No, I'm just saying it's going to be a difference, doesn't it?

What about five out of five you get a one coin coin and five tokens of no value? I think I want the eight coin coins after I'm it's not there's no one coin coin safe zone. Oh that's funny. Sometimes we do that. Yeah, we'd like to have a safe zone at one coin for four or five or risk at all and it's eight coin for five. So what maths are we doing? Multiplication? We're doing 2 digit times 2 digit and 3 digit divided by 2 digit at my discretion.

Oh, I don't know. I've never been that much of a risk taker. He's playing a sandwich. He's gaming. How about 4 to 5 1 coin? No, there's no one to get a show. You got your offer. You got your offer. You got your offer to your self mistaken for a producer of the show. You have mistaken yourself with another song.

I'll play it safe. I'll play it safe. I'll play it safe. Okay, okay. I'll play it safe. Okay, okay. You're giving yourself a one co-cution buffer. Yeah.

You're going to have to be the smartest move. Are you going to tell us whether it's a division or a multiplication before you go into it? Or are you going to say, I mean, we'll know because it's a three, we've soon as you say a three-digit number, we'll know we're dividing. That's true. That's true. And really, they are the same operation. Yeah.

I just wanted to know where my finger might be starting to fly. He's an important rule though. Andy can't be typing during the question to say it's 44 times 53. He can't have 44 and then because then he's got all these other things to do is hit enter and I've got to do the whole equation. But you're getting in your head though. You're calculating the whole calculating as soon as you hear it. Otherwise I'm going to go, okay, you're not allowed to start calculating. You can't listen until I finish the question. I can't start, Katelyn, until I hear both numbers. But I could put the first one in. I mean, yeah, geez, Nathan's right. Well, you can be the picker of the rules here, but I think I can, what about this?

I'm allowed to put the first number in, but until I've hurt like, but then I, so, as it comes. So let's just say it's 44 times 55. So I can go 44, and I can put that in, as they hear 44, but until I've heard the N times 55, then any has to do, times 55 equals. Yep, all right, that sounds like a happy, that's how we're going to have to come for our... Okay, good, okay.

She's weekend down with the Millers seconds. Okay, Annie's very kindly made a song for you, no? He's thinking it up while we're typing it down Nathan to Calculator Who's a party trick that makes his wife proud? Good Nathan, and you're proud, why? Cheers, we had a beer, you ready for battle Five divided by four their syllables, why is it the end? Time's weasered in a little bit over Ever, um, subscribe

Well you meant to sing and you went for a wee Okay mate I think Fast as a calculator on your accusations from Andy. Now he's right, mate. I took the chance to calm myself before the battle. Okay. Gentlemen, mate is your brain ready? I think so, mate Andy, is your finger ready? Yes. But, and are you ready to abide by the here pause type situation?

Okay. The first sum we have is multiplication. 72 times 85. 6208. He's got it. He's got it. He's amazing. It's amazing. He's amazing. And I'm watching Ando's hand go there there.

You were starting to speak as Andy hit, enter. Eagles. Well that's the thing. I mean, I did the pause and I know that was the rules, but I feel like we got absolutely dogged on the rules because he's calculating his, his, his, his, his, I can't. I can't catch that until his numbers are set. I know, but it can start. They can get a head start to go. I can't. Well 72't get into both numbers the same. I know, but you can start,

they can get a head start to go, okay, well 72 times one, you quicker fingers. I know it's somewhere between 72 and 72 hundred, but I don't feel like that's that big of an advantage. All right, now one year later. One year later. Okay, 63 times 17. Was that 63?

Start again, start again. We'll do a different sum. Sorry, mate. I'll speak up. 57 times 17. 99. Hey mate, he's got it. It's really good, isn't it?

Yeah, he's really good. Let's go across to some divisive. Because I would be guessing. I would be just yelling out any number. So I'd be probably a one in 10,000 chance of being that impressive. OK, hey, Ham. Yep.

How many decibel points for the division stuff? Oh, yeah, that's true. What do you think, Nathan? I would depend on the number, but let's just say at least two. Let's just go two. Yeah. OK, here we go. But what if I know more than I?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Show off, show off, show off. Show off, show off. But it all means. I mean, I'm just looking at this sum here. You just can't get this. Okay. 649 divided by 18.

36 points. 36 points. He's got me. He's got me. He's got me. He's got me. 69 divided by 18 30 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 60 Would you let me full cheat like try and get it in? Okay, just just let me Well, I haven't secure my coin yet. I know. I would you let him on the last full cheat? No, just let me just to keep it The keep it sporting you're asking nicely. Yep. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Okay. Okay. Here we go Would you prefer me to say like 500 and 15 or 515? Actually, yeah, say the numbers. You know, 515. 515, yeah.

Okay, it's better for me as well, thanks. So, and even if it was like 10, 1, 0? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Gotcha. It's better for me as well, because I just listened to what you're doing. I hit the numbers.

Cool. Yeah. Okay, it's division. 725 divided by 8, 0. 9.0, 625. He's got me, and's division. 725 divided by 80. 9.0 because you got me. He's got me and I cheated. Okay, no, that's it. It's here, he's done it. Well, let's just go on for glory. We don't want to have the business.

All right. All right, Nate. 999 divided by 27. 37 flat. Oh, so did he hit on that one? Was that a whole number? Yeah, 37 flat. 37 flat. Oh, so dead heat on that one. Was that a whole number? Yeah, 37 flat. 37 flat, yeah.

But Nathan, I mean it was a dead heat, but you've still... One more tiebreaker ready? No, we just wanted to go to the bait. And I think why you want to keep doing this? People get the thing. 860 divided by 860. One. Have you got it?

Ah! Ah! You said that was going though, Nathan, hell, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, Hey, you and I have been doing a lot of flights lately because we filmed our new travel show, perfect holiday, that'll be coming out a little later on the year. Coming soon to watch channel channel nine.

And proof there why they don't use you as the UVO voice for channel naps. Channel nine. Yes, the block on channel nine. The news. Channel nine. The news. The channel. The channel nine. The channel nine. Rare to hear the promo.

I'd be surprised. Oh, I'm good, that's back. Young Sheldon, who repeats this Saturday, channel nine. It certainly will be on channel nine. And during that time, I really felt like, with all the flights, the captains on each trip have a very set speech, even between different captains.

And... No, no, if you'd learned at a captain's school, speaking would be have to be a part of it. Or do they go, you've all been on flights before, you know, what to do, you just have to do that thing at the start, where you tell them who you are. Here you are and what's happening. Anyway, we've got me thinking there's a few ways they could mix it up.

Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking and this is your captain rapping. In West Philadelphia, your ball race on the playground is where I spent most of my days chilling out in the max and relaxing all coolness. Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking and this is your captain weeping. Just missed my family so much with all this travel and I'm so glad you're here. Hey, how are you? How the hell did you get in the cockpit? I just had some crying, I think, and even a friend. Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain speaking backwards.

Speaking captain, you're this, everyone, hello. Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking, and this is your captain sleeping. Well, sorry, I must have drifted off there. Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking, and this is an impersonator I've hired to do an impression of your captain speaking. Oh, well, over on this is your captain speaking. Oh, I'm going to take her up to a million feet through the river. And then we're going to... No, no, no, no, no.

Well, which way of north? No, sorry. No, no, no, sorry, but that was a waste of money. Maybe out front. But I'll get you back. Hello everyone. This is your captain speaking. And this is your captain not speaking.

And now I'm back speaking. I think I'm out of these. We're about to land it one. Great stuff, though, Captain. Hey, I'm thinking of laying down a band in my house. You're bringing charges against your girlfriend, Anna. That's all I know. Yep. I know that we have to be people waiting in the line. Yes. They're organized a jury to be witness to this to this charge. Is it a charge or is it a...

Yep. There's a there's an allegation. I'm going to ban it from something unless you can defend yourself. Well today you're going to be her defense lawyer. I've been appointed as Beck's public defender. I don't know the case, but I swear to defend her with vigor. Jack is going to be the judge. Beck joins us right now as the defendant.

Hello, darling. Hi. Objection, please don't talk to my client. Yes. The band that I'm going to instill in the house is I will only watch films and TV shows with you sitting upright, Beck, from now on. Don't say anything back here, because allow us to discuss this.

Too often she goes to sleep. In the middle of what is an important series we're watching. She has every right to. And then the next day, she finds it very relaxing. My client likes to lie down at the end of the hard day and have a relaxing her own home. And who are you to stop that? Okay. Your honor I asked at this case be thrown out immediately. No. No. And here's the problem. Actually, we'll do jury selection now because

then I can tell the people of everyone. You can lay your judge. I'll be back. We've got three people. First of all, yeah. I mean, back, first of all, I think we've got a very winnable case here. I agree, hey. And I hate to see you draven to the courts for this, but that's the system and now we've got a defend. So, you can pick one jury member out of three wonderful podcasters. Jury member number one, can you state your name and age? Hannah, 30. Hannah and 30, wonderful.

Moving on to the next jury member. I think it's you Scott state your name and age please Good on you scuddy, okay, and James Do you state your name and age please? Game and I'm 29 okay back you get to select one of those to be your jury. Do you want? James or Hannah You can consult with your lawyer. Well look back. I mean I know you, you mean a note seems obvious for you to

pick Hannah because she's sort of about your similar age and might have similar ways of life. Is that what you're feeling? I do think that that's what I was thinking. I think it would be nice to have someone on the jury that represents the most similar to you. But James did sound like he's sounded compassionate. I think Scott might be... Well, I think Scott's out. I think... But what do you think, James? I think Hannah will be sympathetic to you to your plight because I imagine we're going to be arguing in case of I need to nap and I'm on a comfy couch is that our defense? Yeah sure yeah Now let's go James. Look at something about James is pulling me towards him and this could be I could be I could have ruined your case here by peaking James But I'd be confident with James a fewer

James and James you've been selected as the juror how do you feel? picking James, I'd be confident with James a few. Yeah, let's look him in. James, James, you've been selected as the juror, how do you feel? Over the moon boys. Yeah, James, thanks for joining us. James, you don't know the charge yet that's been bought against Beck, it's been lodged by Andy. I'll be defending Beck as well as herself.

But you are the sole juror, James. What you lay out here is what will happen in our household from ongoing. It's a Some water responsibility. Well, Amy, level your charge, sir. James and General Man of the Dury. We watch a TV series in films of a night. Beck says, always says, yeah, let's watch another episode.

I'll just get a bit more comfy and lies down. She normally takes about five or six minutes of that show in before she falls asleep. She's outside of my range of vision because I'm leaning back so I can't see that she's asleep. I end up getting halfway through realising she's asleep. Then I get upset with her, I wake her up and she's like, no, I keep watching, keep watching. She normally gets one of those. She goes immediately back to sleep, even though she knows what she's doing. no, I keep watching, keep watching. She normally gets one of those. She goes immediately back to sleep, even though she knows what she's doing.

And then I'm forced to rewatch a TV show that I've already watched because Beck is not up to date on a series that we're gonna throw all the in. It's a crime drama at the moment. I am proposing a band on her watching any shows with me if she's unless she's upright. So no horizontal watching in the house. Right, Jack, you're running from seeing each other, Judge.

Well said Andy. No, I'm not. I'm here. I'm here to judge. So thank you, Judge. Hey, we should turn. If it pleases you, you're on our own. Might I say your hair looks great today.

Out of that. Might I be able to invest you in some sushi after the show, sir? How are you, Aitenglunch? Thanks, anyway. Can't. You know, you're after on a protein run. Like, please keep your lawyer in honour. You're okay, okay, okay.

If it pleases the court, I will now cease my tactic of light-bribs and enter into our defence. Ladies, no ladies and one gentleman of the jury. Is it not a woman's right to recline and enjoy comfort in her own home? Is it not, he's making this gender? Yes, yes. Must my client quake in fear at the thought of dropping off in what should be the safest place on Earth?

I propose the following, that Andy Lee, if he truly loved, he's girlfriend as he says he does, and shares half the house with her. If he truly believed that, he would rewatch many shows over and over again as a gesture of love. I'm sad to say this, but I think a vote for no horizontal watching is a vote against love. I arrest my case.

Yeah, yeah. Final one sentence from each party. I'll let my clients say theirs. Back. Off you go, back. I would like to just mention that when we rewatch shows, I thought, especially with crime drama, which is the genre of choice at the moment in our household, I just think that by re-rewatching the episode the next day, you might find out something that you need. I don't care if I'm a fan of that. It's a gift.

Rewatching is a gift. Don't care. Don't care. Don't care. Don't paint pieces. I don't want to give, I'm not. Rewatching is a gift. Don't let her keep giving the gift. Don't paint pieces on it. I just don't want to miss out on anything. Thank you, Beck. I couldn't have said it, but you should have represented yourself.

Gentlemen of the jury and your honor, it is clearly not a gift. Beck has lied under oath. And I think when she says that she doesn't want to miss anything I don't want her to miss anything and that's why I'm coming here today I also want to save a bit of my time the next night not having to rewatch things but that's more of a side of fishmode it from a man that wants to vote against love David you Jack all right the jury will now confer with one another. I guess I just do some, do some what are you thinking? Yeah what are you thinking Jack? Jack there's no reality show.

They don't, in court they don't go what do you guys think he talks to you process? He just says guilty and I just say okay James is back banned from enjoying television from a less than vertical position. James, please stand up and let us know how the jury has voted. In the case of back being horizontal during relaxation to rooms, the jury finds back guilty. Yes.

Yes. Thank you Jimbo. Guilty that she's done it is. What does that mean? Well, is she banned? Originally I thought it was gross negligence on behalf of the defendant allowing her to take such a comfortable position during relaxation times because sleepy though is going to incur.

But it was the point raised by the defendant that she cares about the genre. She cares about the stos, that if she wants Andy to be able to take all that he can from a bone making him ready watch it So who's why I come down to see They're the one Quick one Yeah, backwind Backwind

Backwind Oh happy That's like a guilty Guilty of winning Yeah We're watching the duo that promised to roll the coaster and delivered. We're watching a courtroom drama at the moment and I swear to God if the guys as we find the person guilty of winning, guilty of achieving a state of innocence. Well done James. Alright Beck. James, you win this time. Absolutely, Bambas. We thought you'd rule for any of you. 100%. What a very, very exciting surprise victory. Beck, we've done it. We're underfeated. I don't want to win. I don't want to win.

We're going home. MUSIC Listener!