Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2020 Ep 83

Episode Date: March 18, 2020

1. Gusto 2. Loyalty cards 3. Power Moves 4. Chit Chat Champion 5. GISS feedback 6. Miracle story 

A LISTENUP PRODUCTION Activate your internet Cause the Hamish and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1 Oh, why do you co-capt in Hamish bike? Oh, why do you co-capt in Hamish Blake? How do you? Oh, how do you first meet Jack Ho? Oh, how do you?

Yeah, that works. Got Nautical, sorry. And a Hordeal, which is the famous drink that my mum invented when she was anti-cordial. Would it involve? How about a glass of Nautial? No, you can't have a cordial too much sugar. Also a hoi ham to Gala, who's in Tokyo. Hi, hey Miss Shenandi and Jack.

This is Gala from Canberra, but right now I live in Tokyo. Got it. Today it's my day off, so I'm just studying at home while listening to the podcast in the background. I just wanted to see if it actually was really hard to upload the recording or if Hamish was just making a fuss out of nothing. Anyway, hope you guys have a good day. Bye! I think we got it. I was pretty confused if it was.

No, she stuck with it. No, she did. She stuck with it because Gala is... Let's look at the facts. She's from Canberra, well-known university town. Yep. So she's a studious person. She's studying with it because Gala is, let's look at the facts. She's from Canberra, well-known university town. Yep. So she's a studious person. She's studying as we speak, so she's able to pick a task and see it through. And she's gone to Tokyo, land of efficiency, and the future. So she is a smart cookie.

And that's really what it requires. It requires an insane amount of dedication and professionalism to get it up low. It's ice-sullowing at you, Gala. And I also commiserate the note out thousands of people a week to give up on the process. It also says that she sent it in 2016. It's just a rough show that would have thrown apart a quarantine slow and everything down. No, no, it's easy. It remains. It remains the focus of the show and the easiest way to upload your HavishDee.com. Just get right there.

If you're the kind of person that loves a hassle, a drag, a pain in the ass, that is the spot for you. We wish you the best of luck. They've played. Okay, okay. May we start, and oh, a little bit of correspondence. An email that got sent to the show. Now I was in two minds if I should read this out or not,

because, you know, we've just begun for the year. So, you're obviously not going to start cheap as creepers, all guns blazing. I mean, we had a long break. And when you're riding a bike, you've got to push, push, wobble, wobble. You start peddling. You're not going to come out doing a wheelie.

Watch any two in the France. They never start with a wheelie. Yes, they should, actually. Three way cross. You make up your time. You've never want to remember you. Anyway, the point is, I was in two months because I was like, it's a bit of feedback.

Yeah. Oh, the feedback already. It's a bit of feedback. Positive or negative? Well, it's a bit of both. Is it constructive? I think it is. You know that we've got a pretty closed door policy.

With a negative feedback, that's the one of the... Not just a close door policy, but the one where you put the chair behind the handle of the door. Yeah and we creep out the window. Polls that have been passed at open door polls very open. Several doors are open. We'll slash hammer a hole in the wall if you can't get all the feedback. Get all the positive feedback in.

Yeah. We'll move to a more conveniently doored office for you to get the positive feedback in. By fault. Or the end to fully open up. Those doors that put it to an entertainer's deck. Bring positive feedback. By fault. Yeah. Or the end to it. It's fully owned up. Those doors that bought it turned into Taynors deck. Bring the feedback round the bolt. Yeah. Bring the feedback round the back. We have four metres while clearance.

We have a concertina type window for positive feedback. Not for me, we have the doors. You've obviously got them. Let's touch up a couple of them. LAUGHTER I don't know my previous house, down south. Here we go. It actually comes in anonymously.

Oh, that's a positive feedback. I know. I'm giving it anonymously. I could do it. I'd be genuinely, when you bring it through the bar folds, you certainly, you got a name badge on because you want to stick around for a drink. Hi, I'd rather not give my name,

but rest assured, I am a big fan of the show. I hope this doesn't come across as critical anyway, because I say what I'm about to say from a place of goodwill and support. Okay. So far so good. So she's gone for constructive criticism. Yeah, I don't know if it's Feef Mellafem actually. I have greatly enjoyed the return of the podcast

for its third glorious year, but something has come to my attention. I have noticed sometimes, not all the time mind you, just on a very few rare occasions that there seems to be from one or two of you, a lack of gusto in the show. Oh! I don't want to name names here,

and I don't want to start a fight But I wonder if you might have a small internal investigation as to where this lack of gusto might be coming from because I think I speak for all members of the Ancient A family, but girls family, when I say that gusto is one of the main reasons I listen keep up the good work good like with the Investigation, lack of gusto is really the only thing I can ever see singing the show. Yeah, okay, sincerely and honest. the only thing I can ever see. Singing the show. Okay, and see you on the other side. So, my question to you is, I think I've started a year with Gusto. I actually feel like it's probably one of my highest gustos.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I've been someone's response. They don't name a name in this, but someone's responsible for a lack of gustos in the show. And I want to know. To give you an example of how much gustor I'm bringing. I got home after the first record record and Beck said you look exhausted. Yeah. And I said she goes completely drained of gusto.

And she said, what would you like to do? Should we head out to do some exercise? I would know. We could never. That sounds like the kind of activity that runs off gusto. Jack. Well, I feel like in previous years, my talking on the show would probably be around 5%. I think I've started the year with about 7 or 8%.

And that's got that. Well, hang on there. I bet. No, that's in the scene. No, no. I'm thinking out the guy who doesn't know what Gostol is. It's not, Jack, it is not frequency of chat. It is energy of chat.

It is energy of chat. And what I felt like, you have bought the same frequency of chat. No, it is energy of chat. Energy of chat. And what I felt like you have bought the same amount of energy as previous years. I've been... Spread a bit, anything? No, no. I'm talking too much. And it's more than you are.

You are talking a bit too much for your normal energy levels. And so your body is somehow, I decided subconsciously probably, Jack, you wouldn't know. Yeah, you're very self-intro-entered energy-saving, mate. Yes, and you should't know. Yeah, you're very child-in-to-energy-saving, mate. You're guessing you should say that.

It's actually been to reach the new 7% that I've hit. I've actually had to have more momentum. So I've actually put more gusto into what I've been doing than I have in previous years. Maybe for your first few words you're saying, but you might find it's bragging. And that's what this person's talking about, mate. And I have also been tired after previous week's episodes.

Yeah. Oh my god, I don't want to have a girl at your heat jack because I... Why do you have so much gusto? I can't explain it. I feel fantastic. Thank you for noticing it. Why would you give me a soft, I meant. What makes you think, I'm sorry, what makes you think you have so much to do with that. I appreciate the compliment and I do appreciate that we've got a sort of a softer

alliance building, the beard boys, the dumb beard boys. Danny had a go at us the other way and we've started to cultivate a bit of an alliance and I don't want to crack that. No, I important. I know how important an alliance is can be in this show. So I'm just good, I guess it's just a reminder. As they say in the letter, let's keep the gusto at a max. Yes, that's something we all stand for. I mean, we welcome the feedback. I mean, I mean, we welcome the free book. I think Amy's just made up the email. LAUGHTER That's the sign of a man that is showing weak gusto.

That's, that's, that would like the email address. Doesn't say. You're like, I printed it off of that email address. I printed it off from work. I can, I can. Furnish you with this. Hey, he's printed off, then he's used the guillotine to chop off the edges.

That's what I'm talking about. The end boys. Alright ando, let's talk. Yeah. Homies and Andy loyalty cards. Yes. These babies are booming if listen to the podcast last week. Well done, thank you.

It's great to be back. Thank you for all your messages. Yes. It's, it's, it's hit. I don't know if people want to say Vander. It is. And these times, I mean, not even taking the financial situation out of the equation, people always want to say, right?

Yes. And look, the loyalty cards come along at a great time. But I mean, you've tied for the economy. You've tied for the economy. Yes, this is probably what cards come along at a great time, but I mean time for the economy you should have the economy Yes, this is probably what's gonna stimulate the economy Can't take all the credit if this does in fact get things back up and running That will certainly take take a huge slice of the pie all take 10 percent will give five percent back Exactly. I think we'll actually need the This is exactly how much we'll take so here's the here's the situation and a

Over 3,000 people have applied for their loyalty can't we This is exactly how much we'll take. So, here's the situation, Andy. Over 3,000 people have applied for their loyalty card. We are, we're taking that. And businesses have come out already. Businesses have come out, so I mean, can I just kind of find out the first one I saw. David Pickett said effective of the 12th of March, I liked how cool. Yeah, they're fair to try coming in.

Don't you can try back dating or your Christmas purchases. My business, digital smart solutions, except the Hamish New York Laws DeCard. Not sure what they do, but what was his name? David Pickett. Smart move from you Dave. Well, they just made 5%. And he's a smart. Look it after himself. Digital smart solutions. Actually, it's digital start. Just gave a huge amount of business digital smart solutions. So I hope your direct competitor, David, is I hope people didn't pause the podcast there and rush to the store because they wouldn't have heard the correction. Digital Start Solutions. Look, and a web designer.

Yeah, great. Well, I mean, so many people just basically came in like, I'm just randomly picking one here, Seb, Seb Santana for New South Wales. Thank you for negotiating this deal, guys. And we really appreciate that, too, because we're like, yeah, it's obviously it's a win for the customers, it's a win for the stores, it's the card the stores love. But the, yeah, like I do feel like it's a great deal. We've got everyone and I appreciate the thanks, Seb. So he's, you can't wait to use it at the Aishin Grossa down the road. You'll have a ball, though, so he's gone, can't wait to use it at the Asian grocer down the road. You'll have a ball though, no exactly what you're talking about.

Lisa here said, straight off to Louis Vuitton. I'm pretty sure that they are pretty sure they'll honor it. Brian Swain from Ireland. Yeah. Now, normally, you know, he might, someone from Ireland might be listening to an Australian podcast going, oh, he's going to transfer to mine. Yeah, no, that feels a bit different kind of thing. So when you listen to American podcast and you go, they don't really go, you're talking about,

I didn't watch the Super Tuesday primary or whatever. Yeah. And you feel a bit, you can just go a bit, you feel a bit sad. But the Hamish and Anthony podcast, we're a global podcast, actually. Yeah, Brian Spain, thanks, Hamish and Eddie. They've never really had an excuse to buy a jet ski.

Until now. Until you can, you know that Brian's gonna be, he's gonna be ripping out of bell fast. Oh, yeah. fast, fast. And because I'm pretty sure where they built the Titanic is now a jet ski dealership. And so he'll go down there, he'll get 5% off, the store gets 5%, everyone's laughing.

They'll probably get a free hat. And Brian's out of there. And hopefully, it's accepted worldwide. A flotation device put on your keys. Oh yeah, of course, yeah, a little, a little versatile. Yeah, yeah. Jordan Shane, a hoid, Hi boys, my mum works at tobacco company. I think I might be able to get her to honor the 10% off five for the Save any sim cash for a cash you'd have read that white out for chain smoking

He's a good pen Sutton, New Zealand. Hi boys, Aussie expat living in New Zealand, keen for some deals. If you're beginning it, all right, no, you get the card. Coffee's really expensive here, $5 for a large. So I'm keen to get that down to a sweet $4.75. That's over $50 of savings per year, if I have a coffee a day. That's true Ben, and that's for you. What you've got to remember is, that's actually $50 for the store. Tell them that. You tell them that they're also getting the kick back.

That's the beauty of the card. Dallin Christensen here, him from Utah, from the USA, looking to buy a truck once I graduate university, would love 5% off, and of course I'll pass on the other five to everyone's it's so, playing different cars, that stores off each other, which I can't find. That is really good. Here we go, a Gilbert from WA. This card's game changer. I'm a spender, but I'm married to a saver. That's the 5 to 10 discount. It's going to do wonders for a marriage, I can buy whatever he wants. Because the more you buy, the more you save. So with 3000 people already up for a loyalty card here

and would you agree that we haven't had a single store say they won't order it? I haven't heard of any yet. Now, we are gonna be building, we're talking about this during the week, we're gonna be building a list of stores that are honouring it. Yeah, it's just here.

Webgays are always here. Webgays, when do we think we'll get the website up and running that shows which stores are getting... Or tomorrow? Okay, that's very clear. No, 5% off for that and 5% to you. Okay, okay, well that's good. That's very good.

Now we wanted to build a list of stores that are honoring it and not stores that aren't honoring it because there's kind of no such thing because as we clearly stayed on the back of the card, this is 10% off five, for your five-door store globally, accepted everywhere. So it doesn't really make sense to have any stores that aren't honoring it because every store is.

Every store is automatically, that's the genius of this card. Yep. It starts off with every store honoring it. But I remember us saying, well, we can have a list of stores that we thought maybe having teething problems. That's right. That's a one.

So if you go to the Range Rover dealership and they look at it and they go, okay, not familiar with this, you go right, right. You shouldn't be. Because it is accepted at your store but I acknowledge you're having TV problems so we'll have a TV problem if you roll something out globally yes of course there are going to be TV problems like I mean look at the difficulty people are even having you know wondering if the Olympics will go ahead that's just a TV problem that's and that That's, and that's, and that, that's have a lot of people working on it. We're just two guys here. And, and, and, and will sort that out as well. That is what we're here for.

Hey, the button is up just for this week. Do you want me to look into logistics of the cards? Sure. Shouldn't be a problem. And make sure when you get the price. Yeah. Show on the card. Well, I was thinking maybe I'll get them during the quoting phase to send out a test card for us. And then flash it back up. Yeah, flash it back up. That's a smart move. You just saved yourself 10% five five five five. I don't know.

Hey, quick one before we roll on. Some of my defendants, my loophole, I don't think they have Tom. Love this boys. First stop, the bank. $100 with Trolls for 90 bucks. No. No.

I don't think that works. It's a great thought. Oh no. Because the bank, you get, actually it's 95. The bank gets five. But you're not actually buying a hundred bucks off the bank. No. You're just getting your money back. So it'll probably work for fees.

It'll probably work for your interest rates. And your mortgage. You can find that to get five cents less of that rate of that rate. I would assume, but you can't just get straight cash advances. And it's probably not worth it for you either because for your 100, you're only getting $95. It feels like the bank's getting that, doesn't it? So watch yourself there Tommy. I think Mike actually get Tom to write an essay to show us that he understands how to use the card before we can release it, it could be too much power for him. Yeah. Because he was only just shot himself with the foot.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah's a roared. It's it's increasing and we have had a meeting about the book We have didn't We expected to be out this year full expectations. Yep. Yeah, you can't see a reason Can see a few reasons why wouldn't but not looking at them We know when they are and we refuse to look at those reasons. I'll kick one off from Catherine Keaton. I just throw one out there for a sec for when I'm not going to read out today. I think you'll enjoy the top line of it.

From Renee, this is nothing against you and I, deepest love from us, but Power Move disclaimer. I only use this Power Move when safe to do so. And the first line of the Power Move is when driving towards deepest love from us, but power move, disclaimer, I only use this power move when safe to do so. And the first line of the power move is when driving towards an intersection with a pedestrian crossing feels like a high-stakes power move. And just for the interest of public safety, I won't read the power move at. Doesn't specifically involve anyone getting hit by a car. There's certainly a bit of faking and there are moments in the power move where I think a pedestrian would feel like they're

going to be run over. They'd be threatened. I just don't think we can do it on the park. I see interest in public safety. But it's nice to see people was gone. I was just like, people pushing the lift. I'm just saying people are pushing the lift out there. But we're obviously only going to read out ones that are done with.

There's no actual harm done. It's just, we're just looking going to read out ones that are done where there's no actual harm done. It's just, we're just looking for more emotional trauma. Yeah, just a much more emotional trauma and the boosting of social power and social status rather than. Catherine Keaton. Physical intervention. Definitely kicks that box here. We're in a group and someone says something that they do.

For example, I'm listening to this artist or I actually are doing the washing this way these days. I actually just made that up for her, that's unfair, but she was saying... I thought you did, because no one would say any group of guys, I'm actually doing the washing overhand. At the moment, how you guys watching your pots? I'm doing reverse backhand. She wrote, and artists, they listen to all the way they do things in life. So I tried to give things to animals in the good life. I always reply with, oh yeah, I used to do that when I was younger.

Oh, that's good. That's a good idea. Keep pushing them on the same level as your younger self. It does. And that's important. And that's what this is all about. Have we had, this is from Oliver, real quick one. Have we had this before, because it's a classic,

and a simple one. When you have a shared car with someone, when you park it, putting the handbrake up as far as possible. Just don't know, struggle to get it back down. I like that. I like that. I hate this again is close in the region of something we've had before. But I still like it, Dan Morgan. When you're getting to know someone and ask what they do, and it turns out they have

a very impressive job. They've obviously immediately got the upper hand. So if they say something like brain surgeon or rocket scientist or something, an engineer or something, reply with, I had you fall into that. Thank you. It feels very easy. Nice pastime. And it has come from a Jaden. It's a specific one, but we do love them, the specific ones. In our office, we've got a small four person team.

We've been debating the name of our new product for about a month over various email chains, so they're obviously at a real sticking point. Someone usually sends a suggestion, then someone disagrees, it goes on and on. My boss has started doing something. To make his ideas look popular, he has just started replying to his own emails typing a greed. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Really like that. You do see it in a grid on an email channel and it starts you start to go, okay, this is the one we're doing This one's probably my favorite the day ham Zach Magarrati a

Simple but legendary power move When you're going to an open house or even better an option option Simply park in the driveway. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER LAUGHTER You want to manage the binoculars? You want to manage the binoculars? The alpha of the bone, gruby.

Especially the deduction that's taking place in the driveway. LAUGHTER Oh, real good. MUSIC I'm excited to do this again the first time for 2020 Chit Chat Champions. Yeah. It's one of our favourite segments. Chitney with your best chat!

Not a roway, Chit Chat Champion! Everyone knows how this goes. We test people's ability to add the next layer, the next stepping stone in a conversation in an interesting way that keeps the chat up. What are some of the banned maneuvers, Andy? You cannot pose a question back to the stalling. That's just stalling.

It's got to be statement based. statement based here. You're adding another tile in the mosaic of the conversation and must be an interesting tile. We had to have this go up Isaac joins us. Oh, hi, Isaac. Oh, hi boys. How are we? Here you go, Isaac. Isaac, do you cheat or chat or both in your day-to-day life? Oh, hey, if I may. Oh, you've got it. We've got a reason. This is why I wanted to get Isaac up for this. Gotcha. I'm a barista. Yep. I've had like ten people say I should be a cheat-chat champions.

Oh, great. Give the people what they want. Double exclamation bug. I said like me. That is... So this is off the back of a normal conversation and then people will just appropile of nothing go, have you heard of them? Yes.

They do a single cheat-chat champions. You should be professional. You're amazing. Yeah. I've had many conversations, boys. And a lot of my friends are quite strong listeners. And they've said to me, you'd be great, you'd be great, you'd be great.

And then, even I've had a friend write in for me, and I said, no, no. And then I decided, yes, yes. A reward. A reluctant hero. A real reluctant hero. That's a good, a less, a less. Today you'll be up Like that gorilla. That's a gorilla. Today you'll be up against Keeley.

A horror do you, Keeley? A horror boy tell you. Very good Keeley. I take it. You have to converse from day to day as well. But what line of work and what would make you a good chit-chatter? I've just finished up, but I've worked in a call center for the last four years.

OK. Outbound or inbound? Outbound and happy birthday Andy as well. No need. Appreciate the gesture. Lightning be impossible load on Jack and I. Yeah. Well, let's kick things off with Keely then.

We're going to put Isaac on a haul. What will happen for both of you is we'll start. I'll start one line of a conversation. Hamish would do the second line and then we'll be over to you guys. As you guys well know, there is no cue to start your line of the conversation. Part of the assessment criteria is you must simply judge through tone and tempo of my voice where's the right time to jump in and instinctively add your next piece of information as you

well know, any pause, any hesitation can really get big on you and it can absolutely cripple your chances of winning. Have you said that? We were shooting a lot of luck. Good luck, Kiley. Let's chat. Oh, get a hand. Can I end it?

Did you know that the Olympics is going to be in Japan this year? Yes, absolutely. And obviously Paris after that? Oh, back in the day, my grandad was actually a coach for the Olympics when they were in Beijing. So I can imagine being in another Asian sort of country. It's going to be quite good again. Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Amazing sort of country. I don't know. That was great. That's so strong grace that's so strong that's social like what she's this is amazing straight out of the bat We're gonna great anecdote, but where but you hit that critical juncture where people go But where am I going with this? First out of the pits, but we're

Lost a little bit big wobbles. I would only have speedwobbles and correct it. You still probably made it in a corner one-on-one. Killy. I was out of pressure because I'm off against a requested champion. It's 10 times. 10 times requested. Killy. Did most of my instincts correct though you started out with a lie?

No, it was true. Well your daddy is actually a rightbie. My granddad. My granddad. My coach at the Beijing Olympics. Well that's amazing. What was he coaching? Swimming coach. Swimming coach. Oh, Laurie Lawrence.

No. No, no, but I've met him. Yeah, okay. Love that. Well, I'm killing him. Well, gee, that's very good. Okay, we're going to put Killy back on hold. Isaac is back. Are you there, Isaac?

I'm there. Your opponent has registered there. Do you say I'm there. Yes. Yes. Do you say I'm there? Sorry. I'm very mad at you. I'm very mad at you. For me.

Okay. No, pressure's off. You're ready to go. Your opponent has recorded their go. Good luck, buddy. Thank you. Oh, get out of here. Get out of here.

You know, the Olympics this year, it's going to be in Japan. Yep. And obviously Paris after that. Oh, wow. That's a big change of here. Get out of here. You know, the Olympics this year, it's gonna be in Japan. Yep. And obviously Paris after that. Oh wow. That's a big change of places. From... Ha ha ha ha! Oh!

Ha ha ha! Oh! Ha ha ha! From... What was the first one? Ha ha ha ha! It's so scary! It's still alive! he's like this!

Okay, let's eat, take a good one! Okay, great job! Thank you! I'm sure. Keeley, we're good. How do you feel about that? I feel really, really good about that, thanks. No, I'm not.

Keeley, you wouldn't have heard that, but I'm afraid you've won. Oh, really? So easily, I know you had your own little falter, but Isaac, what happened to you, mate? Did it get big on you? Talk us through it. It's different, isn't it? It's different in game situation.

I couldn't hear you guys totally well. Oh, right. I mean, you did pick up the two places. You did pick up the first place. No, I lost the first place. I put it overtaken here, but I wasn't my best work. I've been out of the game for too long. I haven't been talking.

I haven't been talking for a week. This is my first conversation today, so I haven't talked very much. I'll barrel shoot. I've got to go. Thank you very much, Keeley. Congratulations. I'm going to call Barrel's shoes. I'm going to call Barrel's shoes. I'm going to call Barrel's shoes. I'm going to call Barrel's shoes. I'm going to call Barrel's shoes. I'm going to call Barrel's shoes.

I'm going to call Barrel's shoes. I'm going to call Barrel's shoes. I'm going to call Barrel's shoes. I'm going to call Barrel's shoes. I'm going to call Barrel's shoes. I'm going to call Barrel's shoes. I'm going to call Barrel's shoes. I'm going to call Barrel's shoes. and indeed watching the Olympics in Tokyo and Moscow and noting to yourself, I knew there were different places. They are very different places.

It's a quite far from us. Thank you guys. Thanks guys. Pleasure. Bye-bye. Ando, before we finish the show, Jack, did you tell Andy what you saw the other day? The cool thing you saw.

You have to remind me. You have to show up my memory. Did you tell Andy what you saw the other day? The cool thing you saw. You have to remind me. I shot my memory. It was a cool thing we made a catch up for lunch and you saw a very cool thing at lunch. Oh, the beard boys. That's meeting. You're a bike?

No, no, no. Cooler than that. You saw something happen before your very eyes. It would be to do with him. He would have done something mate. That's why I guess the bike. Remember I went off for that quick wee? Oh yes, he performed a gun in 60 seconds on me.

Not on you. Oh yeah. It was in front of you. He witnessed me leaving in the jail with the wheel. Not just drinking the paint. He saw the absence of me for 59 seconds. You fell for one. the dirt with me. Not just drinking in both of you. You saw the abscessively for 59 seconds. You fell for one. I fell for one.

It was honestly scarily fast. Yeah. Scarily fast. Yeah. And Jack was like, wow, man. Because I got back to the table and I said, sorry about that, just had to do a quick wee. And obviously did the bright stuff before.

And excuse me, Jack's just going to go and do a wee. Sorry about taking that quick break for the wee. Jack's like, yeah, no worries. Is it? You've been done, mate. You've been done by the best. And I'm willing to reveal that to you so that you may learn the ways. Jack goes, now it doesn't count, does it? Because you told me it was going to succeed. Well, don't you have to remind people what it is? Oh, okay, sorry, fair enough. Go on in 60 seconds is the art of when you're in, out with people and you don't want them to know you're doing a poo. The ability of the distraping, this guy comes up to be at the football guys. Just don't a guess.

Yeah. I'm like, I'll guess. I was like, a guess, he's like, yeah, just did a guess. And I'm like, right, what is those? Is that some new drug that young people have been realized? I've been realized. It's kind of a drug. It's an acronym for God.

It's such a good one because like, are you doing a piss or a kiss? Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So, sorry, yes, it's the technique of being able to do a poo in under 60 seconds Which is the time period most people think is ludicrous for a poo so everything is done away now to reinforce it You say I'm gonna go and do a wee you leave you do what you're gonna do you come back. It's sorry about the way Yeah, and I guess that's fun and no one knows you did a poo Because it is not so you're doing a poo. Yeah, well some of my kids are in the wakeness. Yeah, yeah. Social weakness and... And also when you return to the table, it's just fine.

You don't want people thinking and everyone does. You don't want people thinking, how's your poo? Yeah. I know this guy's been doing. He's been sitting with his pants around his ankles. I'm on a toilet. Doing poo. Yeah.

Yeah, we're just back here like a pretending nothing happened. Yeah. So you don't want him to know. And there's a lot of ways you can do it. Now, for regular citizens of the podcast, I have released instructional tapes over the years how to do it. There's a lot of different ways you can master the art. When I told Jack and he said, oh, wow, I can't believe I got got got. And I said, would you like to know anything since this is a great learning experience?

Would you like a, would you like to know how I did it? Because I had to perform a maneuver that I've actually been getting a few emails and DMs about, which is people going, people struggling with the Wii. So sometimes for some people, they sit down and their Wii takes a little bit of time to come out of it. So they're Wii longer than they're poo? Well, it might not be a longer duration, but the bladder takes longer to realize it's on the toilet and everything's okay

in it, you know, scared, bladder syndrome, sometimes people sit down and take a while to open up. If that happens at the end of the poo, I'm in our post. Like, a lot of wives and girlfriends would be worried about people DMing your husband. Mostly's mostly tips. Mostly go in 60 seconds. A lot of people are like, what do I do about this? And they don't like the response, which is, you don't wait. Ooh. You do no way. I go, oh no, but that's not relaxing.

I said, whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop. Whoever said, a go in 60 seconds is relaxing. No. This is chess, not checkers. Do you want to do it in 60 seconds? Or not? How bad do you want it? That's what it comes down to. And when I go, oh no, but I'll be nice. Yeah, well, it'll be nice

to run the Olympic marathon and stop from massage. But if you do, you're not going to win the marathon. So do you want it or not? Yep. Sometimes you don't get to do a wee. Sometimes it means you're just going to do what you need to do. You can do a wee later in the day. You can hold a wee a lot better than you can hold a poo. Oh really? Is one of the theories a bit... Professionally out there. Or, why do you, in next location, then you really can just do a wee. Yes. And you've done that in 60 seconds. Hey, a lot of people are saying, is it on the tapes I've bought the whole set I've bought?

Because it's 32 cassettes that are the instructional tapes, like what to learn. It is on the tapes. It's towards the end of the wrap that I've made to sort of tell people that sometimes you don't always get to do a wee. Yeah. It's towards the end of tape 16 that I've made to sort of tell people that sometimes you don't always get to do a Weathe yeah, it's towards the end of tapes Extain I think jack, I think you can just chuck it in does listen to the whole thing, but I think it's in there Hey everybody sing along with me not old poos mean you have to have a wee if you pee is waiting It'll cost you time to sit the guess what buddy today is just a shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii stole one of the backing tracks from your Times Table album. You did it when you were younger. And it's a better song than the Five Times Table. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Hey, me and I both get nervous about these.

As when someone writes in, I've got a story for you. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's the bait. It's the bait. It's, I tried to write it all the message, but it's just too long and too convolated. Forrest ones, shame on you, forrest ones, shame on us,

forrest what are we able to do? Seven times? Shame on everyone. This is from Phil. Philp, he says, oh, Hoi Gentlemen, he's very late to hop aboard the podcast train. Welcome. But he did start from episode one.

And that's why I wanted to give him, at the beginning of the year, and he made his way through its entirety. All right. So 80 some odd episodes, give him the benefit of the doubt then don't we? He said, I've got for you a chicken fest miracle. And I know, okay, congratulations.

You do have our attention. Perhaps it's the first of its kind, but definitely not the last. It happened to me last night. I tried to cover it all in this morning, but the story was too long for the amount of characters that are allowed. I think we allow quite a lot of characters. Some of the emails are pretty long. Yeah. And that's the amount of letters, etc. in there. I was not that there's too many characters

and you still have big, big, big job, though. Slight peep. The chip monster. All the regs. I'd love to share this miracle with you both. Now here, are we going to take a pump and fill? We are, and don't, and he joins us now. I am the ball up. Let us punt a holy fill. Fill nervous, wait for you. Because I did, I promised you that you may be out to tell the story, but not necessarily. You've got pass round one, even trig the guys.

Take it away, fill a whole new, and welcome. Oh, everybody, thanks for having me. That's pleasure. I'm actually been nervous because I tried telling this to read some of my friends. have intrigued the guys, take it away Phil or who are you? And welcome. Oh, oh boy, thanks for having me. I'm actually been nervous because I tried telling this to some of my friends and it's kind of falling flat, so I'm hoping. Right. So it's one third in the country, seventh in the country, scratch.

And now it's got a group one race. You're not sure if it's got four. Phil, do you want to reject? Yeah, you feel you could leave now with all the cash and prizes you've currently won. But if you do, play on you'll be risking the entire show case. Yeah, no, I'll play on. I'll tell it. I need to tell it. People I've told haven't actually listened to the podcast. Oh, that hell. If you're trying to explain chicken fest to a non-listening that can be difficult. Yeah, I feel the people that would appreciate it would be the event of chicken fest.

So that's why I wrote it until you guys. Okay, right. All right. So, yeah, as you guys mentioned, I was laid to the podcast. So I only started listening to it a couple of months ago and I was listening to that work, strictly at work. So I was pumping out of that. Strictly confused. So I was pumping out of that. It's strictly to say on the relationship with the podcast.

Luckily, yeah, luckily I'm not bossed. I was listening to the podcast. Yeah. So I was listening to that two, three episodes for today, so I was getting pretty quickly. What kind of work did you do, babe? I work in a factory for like a clothing shop, like distribution.

So I was just in the background and I can still do my work. Yeah, that's fantastic. Yeah, so this brings us to about two weeks ago. It was on a Monday when the miracle occurred. So it's about to finish work and I just listened to the last episode. It was when you guys were going through the logistics of chicken fest and you decided on choosing that one shop in Victoria. You would have ordered a chicken and chicken and two. So finished up work and unfortunately couldn't listen to the next episode where you guys announced the winner. And I could have listened to it at home but I've listened to it with a colleague and I didn't really want to do the dirty on him so I thought I'd write some next day and find out

through the winner was. Yeah wonderful. So I'm at home and I get a message from my older brother asking if I wanted to come over, check out his new house. He'd recently just moved in with his family. And that character joins us. Yes, so hard, he's only got his character. So yeah, I was like, sure, I'm going came over for dinner and he was like, another character, he's a useless wife, just cooked a lasagna and there was plenty for me. I was like, I was like, yeah, it's cool, I've had a small lunch, so I'm pretty hungry.

So, I was on it, sounds pretty great. And you couldn't do all this on the phone. I'm going to go to the details, good, the details, good kick-off. Yeah, I'm going to go to the details. The details could kick on. Yeah, I don't want to get too many details because they're important. So I was like, yeah, it was done, yeah, that sounds great. So I was getting ready to leave and I was like, I better do the right thing. And I messaged him asking if I should bring anything to dinner.

But I thought I was pretty safe. Like, it was done, yeah, it was already cooked. Yeah, pretty big dish. But I've been able to look like Like, Rosania was already cooked. Yeah. Pretty big dish. But I've been, I look like a good guy for offering to bring something. Yeah. And then he messaged back, actually, Jumon picking up some hot chips on the way over. Well, this is, this is the worst case scenario, because I've now stopped and then wait for the chip to be cooked.

Yeah. You know, I was hoping, yes, it's announced off. I offered to now, yeah, sure, okay. I'll go get the chip. He's decided to go more of a pub meal with his house. It's our new in chips. Yeah. Yeah.

So then, the last three to dress, I knew he moved to like, the like, school would be area. And he wrote black, wrote back 27, like blah, blah, blaster eight, robel. And you ended up in that, no, I didn't fast forward any. Which I know who knows where it's going. Who knows where it's going. Who knows where it's going.

Yeah. What? Where'd you get the shoes? Could have been any. And those. So I get to his house. Yeah. And I realize.

I've actually forgotten the chips. I've gone to one thing he's asked me to get. And now I'm left with the decision of going to the house without the chips. And I look greedy for going for dinner and not bringing what I was after. I came to the conclusion that my brother obviously wanted these chips Like it was on your own chip. I've never been a like a popular meal combination So he really wanted these chips. Yeah, thank you for taking us inside The decision-making process. So you think and I've got to turn around and get back to that store, right? Yeah, yeah, we love know which store though

Yeah almost It's been selected at random you're in a new area. Yeah, what love to know which store though. I don't know which store. I'm in New Area. Almost as if it's been selected at random. You're in a new area. What do you do? Exactly. I'm in Robo. I've never been in Robo. I'm in the middle of a neighborhood I've never been to. Who knows if they've been in Robo.

And they've got a chip shop. Exactly. So then I started driving around. He's neighborhood. I mean, you guys were saying you guys were driven around in the limone, Robo. Yes. And if you guys remember, it's like a maze. Yeah, we've all lost it in a long time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That was the night. It's the same. So the night of chicken fest. Yeah. So I'm driving around for like 10 to 15 minutes and when I tell people this story,

they're always like, can you just Google like a fish and chip shop, like Google maps, a fish and chip shop, which, um, yeah fishing chip shop, which, yeah, absolutely valid, but at the point, like, you've never seen a man more flustered. Okay, well you've got to have a go at it. I see this one. I'm going to have to swap it. Now I'm going to go to it. I just went for a combing of the sub-a, with chip right.

Okay. And I'm hungry as well. So now, now, chip's on my mind. I'm craving these chips. Some drama around flustered, like turning into like, you know, a court, no through road, like, nobody or I am. Oh my god, I'm shopping courts.

That was a foster band. That's a fluster was. Then finally find a main road. Look at the sign and you won't guess what the name of the road was. I don't know. It was Caled's Road. It was Caled's Road. Caled's Road. So I turned, I would have...

Turn left. And he might. We might have guessed five minutes ago. Hard to say. Hard to say. Should have worn down our guesses in possible amount. With a benefit of hindsight. But yeah, so you're going to go in the girls' zone.

You go. You see the jet stop. Yep. So I I turn left I'm driving for that 500 metres and I come to a group of shops like a little little um kind of a shopping watch ship more man um Describe it more. Colors, food, sunset, tone, number of shops, names of shops. Just I can be paused for a second. Who we have to pause. Feel great so far. OK. But I'm just letting you know that you have to stop a robbery

or something else. Because if the punchline of this is this sacsame chicken shell and you find out with your mate at work the next day, I'm not sure if it's going to be enough. Phil, I was jumping here. Is that, without wanting to spoil it, is that where it's going? Hang up, you can basically where it's going. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

When you say miracle, do you mean coincidence? Do you mean coincidence? Do you mean coincidence? something for Stray? It was a quiz. It felt like a miracle when I was in the art. It would have. It was the chicken shop that you guys said. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we thought that.

And then when you listen the next day, what was the mood like when you were listening with your fans? Just flashbacks of the night. When you went to the TV's, no, to the studio. And what would you have said to him? To be sorry. Oh, your workmate, you would have said something like, oh my god. I was actually there last night. You're never going to believe this or something along those lines.

It was exactly along those lines. Yeah. And then yeah,, we can do it. But I was a bit disappointed about the lack of turnout to the shop. I was hoping I listened to it from like life. So then I could have maybe came along to the shop. Well, it was a night of Kaffir. Before we remember.

That would have been our miracle. It was a night of Kaffir if you remember, because it was a young man that had gone there to see us. It was too nervous to say anything and he only appeared in the back of our photos. So it's sort of like there'd be me to try and go to that particular chicken shop. They didn't want us there. They were confused.

The one person that did turn up the stairs and have the guts to say aye. The other person that is obviously a very big fan of the shop yourself went some months later. So just a sort of a weird time warp of timing there. Thank you. Thanks so much. Thank you Phil.

We appreciate it mate. But we always dance to the devil when you say to someone, yeah, we'll hear your story. And I know and you know, obviously word count was an issue when you're filling out the email I do think if you were interested in future if you do want to get down a written version of the account Yeah, for your kids grandkids whatever for prosperity Talk to an editor talk to a good editor there are spots you can probably trim down the story You can utilize a bit more word economy a lot of it's great. Yeah, but I just I do think there's room very little time Yeah, I I mean, one of it's great, but I do think there's room very little time. Yeah. I guess so.

I've got the race and a test. I've probably listened to my friend. No, no. We loved having you on Bill. We loved it. Thank you, man. We're going to send you a token of no value. That's exactly what you get.

Cheers, buddy. We're excited to be your legend, cheers, man. Thanks, listening. The Hamish Nandie podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishnandie.com.