Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2020 Ep 89

Episode Date: April 29, 2020

1. G'day from the golf bunker2. The price is…right?3. Loyalty card update4. Tao’s first crack5. Brand new6. Power Moves

A LISTENUP PRODUCTION Activate your internet Cause the Hamish and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering 1 Oh, what do you have? Oh, Yanda, oh, what do you jack-o? Oh, oh, as we come One. A HOTE YOU HAND. A HOTE YOU, Jacko. A HOY. As we come. Well, we've got to say it, don't we?

Yep. We've got to call it. Ah, the first Iso Boys episode. We are in the most secure room. I think this is great, isn't it, Jack? I'm so excited. Because we had to pick a room where we could all be a long way away from each other,

at least two or three meters away from each other for health reasons. And it just so happened that one of us had access to a room in their house that had carpeted walls and an astro-chair floor. We're coming to your live from recording to your live from Andy's golf simulator. Yes, we're in Andy's enormous golf simulator.

It took me a lot of fun and I was wondering around the house. I accidentally wanted into the wave pool and a couple of the other rooms first. Well, aren't we lucky I have one? You and I can't miss a party. Further away, almost further away than you, your fingers are to the common man. For those fingers, do not remember the touch of him Well, we needed a sound proof room sure you're right. You're much much further down the fairway than I am I'm I'm almost in the rough and jacks up on the women's team. Oh

So far away put a picture up on our pipes Casual club though don't have to wear a collar. I mean, this is nice. I mean, a warning. If you are a common man or a common woman and you look at this, this will, it will ain't you. You might as well see three guys wearing Gucci jackets right in unicorns.

It's so funny. I've got a question too while we're talking golf set up. Yeah, in the golf room. Now you cleaned out most of the golf room. Yeah. You left some balls though and a club. I was chipping earlier this morning. I mean, the other thing you've left here is two golf bags

have been taken out. Yeah. I can see that you've got several golf bags, which is a, I think, only a non-covid man can ever say. You have three sets of golf clubs in here. For one man, don't live here. I didn't wanna have to do this, Jack. But sorry, how do you continue?

Oh, what I'm gonna say is, you've left one in here. I always have that one there. You always have that one here, but I mean, cause we have sort of filming this and there's a photo. Can I ask a question, you've left the branded one in here. It's Taylor Made, it's branded Taylor Made. Andy, my question to you, I suppose the Senate subcommitter's question is, do you or have you ever received any monetary or product assistance from that company?

How interesting. I'm seeing everything I've bought Look at my hand, learn from the master He's left the brand I might as well bring my Yamaha guitar in it next to me It's an audio and my name is I'm going to bring in my Beretta over under shotgun that I've been training with to get into the clay pigeon shooting for the Olympics Just with regards to common man discussion. So I would ask me boy,

because I got a lot of shit on you man. Okay. Okay. All I need is true or false from you. Go for it. On the last flight we took together, yeah. Did you fly business?

No, yeah, next to you. Yeah, on the way home, you fly business? I think so. And I was in economy. We? Ooh, Jack. There's, I could be where you were probably back there trying to get people to sign up because I'm sort of dodgy investment scheme.

So you could buy your own plan. I rest my case, Jack. He's the business class up there and he's cheese and he's wise. I sat there back there with everybody else. Possibly. In the normal, in the normal, is it you like to be? Getting cheese, so when I got off the plan, I could hand it out to those. No, you were the personal driver.

You got out of there. Less lactose fortunate. I could give it out at the question Andy. Andy, a few weeks ago, did you post something on Instagram where your girlfriend sent you a text message saying there was a spider in the yoga mat drawer. That must be nice. That must be really nice.

I can't play this all day. I'm drawn for yoga now. Must be very, very nice. Did you do a cooking show the other day on Instagram? Hang on, did you do a... Let me ask you a question. Okay, yeah. Did you do a...

You go. Did your stove top have dials against electric? Right, and did you boil water or did you go to a specialty tap? I went out to the urn. You're a specialty. He's got one. He has one of those. Oh my gosh.

There's nothing less common than a specialty hot water tap. I will take boiling water down to the park and I'll hand it out for free to those in the neighborhood that don't have it. Let me just before we move on. This straw, this straw, where you just hit yoga mats in because you have such, you know, your sport for space as the lucky few are within an enormous house. Where in this house is it? Where in this house is it? It's not in this house.

Must be very nice, jagged at the other house. Must be extremely nice. We ran out of music bed. You see bed from the top of the show. Because examination is a lot of the stuff. All this is is nuclear war. You're destroying the earth. No one is a common man anymore. I can win. I can say, but from all the examples,

I do see you as quite the common man. Well, you know, we've had other options to do the show. Maybe at Jack's house, but they've closed state borders. So I'm sure. What the hell you explain? I don't remember what you were going to do. I don't remember what you were going to do in the right of destruction. It's very common to live far from the city. Yeah, that's very common.

It's very common to see you doing your radio show from your bespoke music room. I mean that. Yeah, for a man that's not a professional musician, that is quite, that must be really nice. And I've seen the electronic drums set up in there, Jack. But it's very expensive. Have you played a... What's that?

What's that? What's that? Very expensive electric drums. We have to also have to say a hoi hem to Scott. Of course, Scott from Salt Lake City, he told us what he was up to do via Hymnshierty.com. Hoi boys, Scott from Salt Lake City, Utah in the United States here. Still working right now for the coronavirus pandemic and needed a way to literally waste my entire day.

So I decided to upload some audio through the website. So, thank you for the handout. Finally, a use. A use. For the first time, we probably won't be looking at overhauling. No, long and drawn out clunky system. I think it's the perfect isolation challenge. People need to burn ours.

People need to burn ours, isn't that? He's a bonfire of them. I've got one other thing, Ham, that is a surprise for Jack. Jack, we've got a new little podcast set up up there. And just if you reach underneath it, I felt the cause we're in just don't just underneath the desk. Jack was looking under here because he didn't see Boba in. No, just just underneath the desk, the buttons like like, okay, oh, actually, there's some, there's some golfing clubs. There's a decent pro, Kalewe golfing club. There's some golfing clubs. There's a fusion pro-Calloway golfing club. There's a sports...

There's a golf club there for you, Jack. I feel like Jack should panel... ...file-jade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade-rade- You definitely should jack that looks really professional and now I think other people people will see it and I mean if there's ever ever been an example of losing touch with the common man it's using leather gold gloves instead of just surgical gloves during the pandemic. That is jack. That is the most so that's Jack that's Jack in the nutshell. Alright, it brings us, this is an optimistic attempt, because it's our first show doing podcast from the medically isolated confines of Andy's golf room. Have adjusted the clock guys for day one saving time for the thank you for the four billion

reminders that I got on Instagram. Thank you. Well, thank you to your butler. She is still scouring around the house somewhere as an essential service. And we're lucky enough to be here in the golf sim, but it can make special skills tricky, because I'll see we're going to minimise people face to face. But we still need to test, it's our job, it's our duty. It's our duty to test people's phenomenal skills. Angus sent one in. It's an incredible skill and I thought we can do this remotely.

Great. He claims, he says, look, he can see an item. He can see an item and immediately go, this is how much it costs. Wow. So, horrible time. He's only 18. He was born too late to play the prices right. But essentially, he has the skill to take home the too late to play the prices right. But essentially he has the skill to take home the show case. Or maybe they closed it down knowing he was coming. They sensed he was going. They were monitoring all delivery rooms. And as soon as Angus came out and went 4 steps 49.95. He was just kids good.

They knew that he would destroy the steps. Yeah. I'm not trying to have a go at your mum there. Angus that giving birth to you. I'm just going to ruin with cheap four steps. It was just the first price that came from my head. For $5,000. Wow.

Wow. Must be nice Angus. To be born to $5,000 for a four-step store. Lost touch with the common baby. But he's his skill. He does join us online. Angus, we've got him on Zoom as well. He joins us online.

Angus, how are you mate? Oh, yeah, Angus. I'm good. I'm good. Boys, thank you. Now, Angus, I made it. I, I, this, this special skill fell to my side of the fence. I'm just realizing now I've got you on a phone on a tripod in front of me here in the

girlfriend. I've found all the items online. We've gone to huge effort to set this up visually so you can sort of see the items as well. I'm re-reading your email. It actually says you can tell me any random product and I can tell you how much. All right so we didn't even need the visual. But would you prefer the visual angus? The visual yeah the visual work. The visual works I mean, you could just tell someone, I don't know, Suzuki Vitara, but. And then are you talking angus,

he's one thing for clarification, man. We need a few clarification. Yeah. Are you talking the item new? Or it's resale belt? Brand new, yeah. Yeah, that's good, I was gonna say, because it's very difficult.

RRP is your, off the shelf, off the shelf is your specialty. Okay, okay. Okay, so what we'll do then is we'll put Angus on hold perhaps and at times, and you can tell us the item, you can tell us the price, and then we'll bring him back and you'll show him the items that we're gonna do. What are we after here within 10% of the price?

I think within two, five percent, plus five, 10% minus five percent. Payment in Andy card value. Yeah. Nice. Plus five for you. Five for us. Yeah. A little pick. Yeah. Yeah. I call I guess. I was exactly how we'll do it. Five five down. Okay. That's fair. That's fair. Um, and, uh, obviously, yeah, because it is hard. I mean, we have you picked items him? Put Angus on hold, will you, Jack? Okay, I can re-jig this.

The first one, I just thought of Vespa, right? I agree. I like Vespa's. I thought of it. 1968, Poundable Vespa. Now obviously that's second hand. Right, okay, yeah. I can quickly search for a better one if you want.

I reckon it's called brand new Vespa. What does one cost? Okay, brand new Vespa. Sorry about this. It's okay. The others, I what is one cost? Okay, brand new vest, but sorry about this. It's okay. The others I've got like a KitchenAid mixer. Like a, that's like a brand new. That's brand new.

And you know the brand's supreme, right? Who just, you know, supreme. No. Like red box, white riding, supreme, normal t-shirt, $10, supreme t-shirt, $200. Oh, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think, you know, we've been in New York, I think before when they released a jumper

and everyone's queueing up for it. Supreme hat, just a hat. Like hat says supreme on the front, $150. Wow. Wow. They're really hard. They really are making Von Dutch look like a bargain back in the heyday.

Okay, and so that's, so the Vespa, all right, well, we've got here a 2019 Vespa sprint, a 150th brand new, 699 right away. 699 right away, okay, but let's bring him back off whole. That's the first one, okay, Angus, are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. Okay, this is brand new. Have a look at this gorgeous black Vespa.

Do you see that? Yep, boom, give us the price. 14,000, 500. He's high. I do not. When he's home, it's exactly double. We're back to the 8,990. Scoot away.

Okay. How you feeling? How you feeling? I mean, it's a good indication that it was like exactly double. That is a great indication. So it's something amazing working. Are you saying, say, for your next guess, the next thing you're going to have it. Okay. We're chucking on hold and to say the listeners, I'll tell everybody the amount. Jack.

He's on hold. It's a KitchenAid mixer. Retail, recommend a Retail's 899. Yep. Okay, here we go. Take him off, I'll check out. Angus, there we go. It's a KitchenAid desktop, see that?

Yep, yep, yep. Cake mixer. Cake mixer, okay. What's a vibe on that mate? I'm originally thinking 180. 100 nm. I'm carving that. I'm carving that.

Yep. It's $290. $290. $290. Okay, but I'm gonna wait, I'm gonna up that. Yep. Wow. You get it.

This is such a treat to see and decide the process. And the numbers get tumbled, I'll flip. So, stand at 180. If I have to do 90, where are we taking it from? 90. I mean, I don't want to leave it in this ear, but I would be strongly in doing the up direction from 90 rather than a further. I'd say, I'm going gonna say $320.

Wow. Okay. So start at 180. Harvest. And triple it. And add 2.30. You can't question about it. You can be more wrong.

But you are wrong. You are wrong. 899. So really what you were looking for there is when you halved it to 90, the next thing in your head should have been multiple by 10. Yeah. Would have been, I'm going to say, we're we're well out of impressive zone here, but to avoid a complete, well this is a barcle. This is as bad as I've ever heard anyone. Well, you've actually, yeah, you've been half off or twice,

you know, you've never actually been close to the factor of two. Your first one was twice as much. Yeah. Your second one was worse than half. Yeah. Close. So we're looking for you to really get close to the pinning. I'm trying.

I'm working with a bigger range of failure than some of the other people on the show. So I think you're actually the worst with a bad. Oh, yeah, double is pretty bad. Yeah, like being being out by 100% both sides Really huge. Okay, we're gonna give you one more just because we want to see how bad this failure could be Yeah, this is we're around about the zone here of like you know, this is close to Simpson's guy Yeah, I like you know, what's the what's the what's what's the capital of Switzerland? Yeah. And you're just going navy blue or, you know, 45. Okay, here we go.

Oh, good. Let's put him on hold. Here's on hold. Okay, so this is the Supreme Hat. Yes. It's camouflage, five panel hat. Yep. With the red Supreme logo on it, it is retailing for $145 Australian dollars.

Great bringing back Jack. Angus, you ready mate? Yep. Supreme hat, camo, red supreme on the front, 5 panel hat, boom. Good, supreme. Talk us through your process. I know supreme is quite pretty expensive, it's a pretty expensive. We just apparently expensive. But I don't know, a hat.

Hat? Hat? Hat? A hat? A hat? A hat? A hat? A hat?

A hat? A hat? A hat? A hat? A hat? A hat? A hat? A hat? A hat? I'm gonna... Jackets are big. Yes. I'm gonna go medium. I don't know. Maybe... Are you thinking at the moment when is the clue for the hat?

Is your brain sort of going, is it sort of dollars per gram at the moment that your brain sort of thinking like that? Is your brain working at all? Like, because you're not gonna be flustered at it. No, I just, just talk us through it. Talk us through it. Can help talking about it.

Okay, honestly, I'm thinking around 200 300 again. Mm-hmm. And I think that's where I'm gonna blend. Okay. What's firming up out of those two numbers? What's firming up as your preferred answer? I mean, he's expensive, it's a hat. But you know, you know, he's a dangerous to apply logic to anything supreme.

I mean, I think there's a little crowbar at one stage for a thousand dollars True true I'm going 300 You're exactly double Don't know how he does it But some of us always double all the side the Simpson sky. He's don't know how he does it. But some of them always double all the time. On the side, the Simpson sky. He's don't do an Angus.

Angus. Well done, Angus. Well, not really, but thank you so much. I token of no value. We sent you away. Well done. Well done for just for the entertainment, Angus. I think we should.

Can you, I mean, let's now go back to what was the thing that you must have done in the past to believe that you had this skill to kind of ride in and nominate yourself? There's nothing else on your form. Well, me and my mates, we had head off to Coles after a long day at the beach and my mates told me just start covering up price tags and you'd say how much is that and I'll just I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it.

So I'm more grocery level. Yeah, I'd say a good cautionary tale isn't it? A good caution hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it.

I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it.

I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. I'd be hitting it. You have been good at throwing some cans, like a squashed up can in a recycling bin from across the room And you got my aims great and then you've been hired by the Navy Seals to be a sniper and then you've got actually sorry Should have been more specific. Just more cans in the bin

Well done buddy, thanks so much to Joey and to go to your mate thanks I love it I'm Lorde Cahd update. Fantastic, Andy. Where are they at? Well, the numbers are rocketing, and it doesn't surprise me. People love a deal. Yes. And, uh, viewing 12,000 submissions for Lorde Cahd. Right. You know, where are we at? To a certain degree, because I called you during the week to update you on costs. Yeah. Which have been significant, Jack.

Sure. And I just say, and my, and I think my exact words were, let them fly. Yes. They were. Well, what about them, the money? The costs. Yes. The good and like. Because I just think of this, especially at this time.

Yeah. What could be greater than going to, rushing to your mailbox. Now, I know it's not going to be this week. Yeah. But very soon, going to your mailbox, opening it up, boom, there's your personalized Haymish and Andy loyalty card. And you know, your ability to go to stores

and a lot of stores are still open around and you get five percent, they get five percent of the ultimate to the card, the stores loves. I, we did get a deal. We did from our, these are the people that are printing the card. But I'm not going to say their name yet. I thought we were saying their name.

We will. Did Naya agree to wear a hat? Yeah, yeah, yeah, you will wear a hat. They don't have, they prefer not to, they've opted out of the hat deal. That's an interesting move. They don't have a hat, we could make one up for them. They said they, they, they've got every company that has that hat. But they've gone, sorry, thanks very much for the

gring or suggesting that you could both wear hats, but just mentioning it, they might be better. They take the hat off for as me, just casually wearing the hat around the street. As a very, very low-impact billboard. I think they didn't, I think they thought that we were just going to wear one of their hats. They said they don't have a hat, but they also thought maybe you wouldn't get the type of recognition required. I can see through that prism how the hat deal would seem terrible for it, because we didn't mention it's much like your golf bag behind me.

We didn't mention that, hey, you know, once something's in the golf sim, it gets a lot of eyeballs on it and people want to know about it. So I was company with this, but it's, the moment it's still an outlay of money, which I've said is. It's paid 50% for deposit. We have. Yes, because you have access to the bank because it's all your money.

Which we have. But I didn't want to give the name yet until we're happy with the quality of the card. Oh. I know this is. We're holding back. Well, for their own good end house, but if we get them and they're not described as a

plastic card, isn't it? I don't suspect there'll be any issues whatsoever, but I feel for that. I think a lot of people when we mention this, thought it would be of the quality of when you go carding license, when you're little, and it's card board laminator. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you want you can hot your card up Yeah, you can yeah, but we encourage anyone hiding their own cards up get your sharpies out Obviously, it's the laudicard that the stores love yes, it is you get 10% off

But you immediately give 5% of that 10% back to the store immediately and oh people are we we made the letter up that we'll send out to people when they get the cards When will the cards be out? Two weeks. Two weeks. Would you like me to read the letter? Yes. Before we get to the letter, I just thought, thank you for every all the stores coming in

that are honoring the card. If you are a store out there, I sail in the wet sundays. If you want a new sail for your yacht, there you go. You can get you. Andy's giving his mates a shout out. Fuck. I'm a bubble-a-bobble. I'm a bubble-bubble.

In Skone. Oh, geez, they need help. Thank you. They, they're, I mean, obviously Motel's tough at the moment, but they're gonna give me. No, it's for the ISIS. You have never thought of that. Oh, they were.

Is that being written on the website correctly? I think it'll be right. Yeah, I mean, so I mean, before the terrorists are organized, I should have been. People did have the name ISIS, it's just a bad Yeah, I mean, so I mean, before the terrorists are organized, I think people did have the name, I think this is just a bad thing. Golden planes, diggers. Great. I'm just going through.

And so these are all the companies that have... Yes, Richie's Jewels. They've said yes, they are accepting the cards. You can go there. Aussie Bricks, if you need a brick. Yes, I do. You go with a proper paper-skinned flying away. Yeah. Rebels and rainbows, don't know what the store does, If you need a brick, yes I do. You go or probably papers keep flying away.

Rebels and rainbows, don't know what the store does, but you'll certainly get your kick back there. Stores that are having teething problems. Yeah, this is a way. Because every store is on board, and that's why that's the beauty of the card. But we do understand word travel. You know, word travels, or colds.

Colds? That's a biggie. Whether you're Aldi, might not be all stores, might not be all calls and Aldi's. I would like to see people have gone to these stores and tried it and they didn't know what was going on. I think it's so much on going on at the moment, this information. Up a management hasn't filtered down.

That's what the problem is. And also super rooster. Has or hasn't? Is he the problem? He's the a couple. He's eating problems. He's eating problems. Which I am a bit disappointed with because that could be a mistake.

I look forward to the day where we're moving them from the right hand collar. As you see, Hameshine.com forward slash loyalty, stores having TV problems to the left, stores it on the card. Because a lot of the time know even rolling out a new iOS Takes time exactly or a new operating system if someone goes are we're not doing you know Are we doing a different kind of chicken salt at superoo sir? I assume that wouldn't happen overnight. There's just gonna be a little bit of a lag on that That'll be fine and art in New Zealand. Yes or no

Teething problem Steeting problem so again, we got'd love to see the footage of these. More for their sake, the footage of when you go into wine and art, you buy four or five cases of the finest. Peno, you buy yourself a mateese, you hand over the card and go, here you go, 10% off immediately, you get five on, a fake five as well.

Love to see the conversation where they go, I'm not familiar with this. And you're, you know, you're baffled, they're baffled. And more like video evidence of that. So you can show to them later when they are familiar with this. And you're, you know, you're baffled, they're baffled. And more like video evidence of that. So you can show to them later when they are familiar with it. They are not a laugh at their first day. They, when they had teething problems. Bagels and beers is our first Spanish one

that is accepted in the card. So we know it's great. That's great. With any specific city. Haven't got it listed here, but probably not. The Copper Moon work coffee house in the US is also taking it on board. So that's really great, really good to them. Lark journeys in Namibia. I assume yes. Yes, they're fine.

I assume everyone. Yeah, I mean, really, that's the thing. This is wonderful to hear these companies have done the right thing, but it's not a surprise. So keep alerting us to teething problems. If your story's on any card, put it up there. What I will have been telling to the buffens of the website to have, at the moment it's just a long, long list.

So it's very difficult. So if you had a hand-gring to buy something, it's very difficult to see, I mean, of course, all stores. Well, just assume, yeah. Yeah, all stores, but if you were a revolutionary part about the car, if you were an extra surety, all stores, but if you want a revolutionary part about the town. If you want an extra surety, I'm looking to try and get

a search function put on the website so you could possibly go. It's kind of crazy isn't it? Cause what we're really doing here is building a list of every store in the world. And which no one's really tried yet with the possible exception of Google. So do we just ask Google for their store list and put it all up, pop them all over into the yes pile

and move them right. And then move them right for 10 problems if and when they pop up I mean jazz give Google a buzz just ask for dear Google please send over full store list dot doc full earth store list dot doc or dotexls. And we can import into the e-sign. And.doc or.exls. You do want as a word doc or a spreadsheet? Spreadsheet.

Spreadsheet. So just do Google, please send over the full spreadsheet of all stores in the world. We need it for our back end. Yes. Well understand that. That's with Tech Talk. Exactly.

Hey, in two weeks time, the first round of cards, five thousand have been printed with names. We have gone through them individually. So some of the names, apologies to Sir Dick and Bulls. If you are a real person, you're not getting a card. Yeah, true. It's in the cards I'm cutting so much per card. Have you been going through it with a razor? Yeah, you were just cleaning it. Just going to clean out a few of the dud names, because obviously we can encourage stores

to give a secondary point of ID. Yeah, that's true. It won't work without a... Because I don't want... If you say if you can't give it to your mum, it's not transferable You've got a you she has to register first. We'll need stores. You go, listen Mr. Dick and Bulls I have a look at that. I'll need to see another form of IB you go. Here's my dick and bulls. That's 45. Oh, yeah, great

Sorry about that Mr. Dick and Bulls. I hope you understand that if I'm about to give you Yes, I'm 10% off on a sapphire for me it also receives a 5% of the price. I'd need to make sure you are Peter Dickenbells. And here's the letter that we'll be sending of people. This is just a bit of an excitement builder. Yes. For everybody to get it, this could be you opening this letter in the mail.

And your card will be alongside this letter. Do you deal, Seeker? Congratulations on your successful application for the Hamish and Annie loyalty card. But the very fact you are now holding this precious and more expensive to print an anticipated card. It signifies to us, you are an extremely loyal listener of the podcast. If there's one thing we wish to reward more than anything else, it's loyalty.

They say you can't put a price on loyalty, but guess what, we bloody have. If you're anything like us, you sometimes purchase products and or services, and if you're anything like Jack, you like a good deal. We noticed a lot of loyalty cards are specifically for one or at most a few stores. There also seems to be a lot of phone calls and what-night and red tape to organize those discounts and quite frankly, we found that to be a weak system, high and admin and one that's robbing you of choice. That's why we've turned the loyalty card game on its head, by beginning with the assumption

that all stores are cool with this card How do we do that by giving them a little slice of the action to? So here's your deal when you present this card to any store worldwide you immediately get 10% of your purchase Immediately after that the store gets 5% of the purchase price back to them from you leaving you with 5% overall 5% overall discount and then with a tasty 5% cutback. The more you spend, the more you save. The more they get, it's an insane win-win. And that is what everybody's saying.

It's the card the stores love. Brilliant. Yeah, so please enjoy it with our deepest compliments as we mentioned. Stores should accept this, but it's always nice to acknowledge those who do. Go to the website. No stores aren't on board yet. We can't make that clear enough. But if you experience some of the 7 TV problems, do let us know at the website too.

Go forth and enjoy. Thank you for your loyalty, your Pell's Hamish net. Great stuff. One other thing I know we've been going along on this. You know how Wayne's world is on board? From the other week? Look what we got in the mouth. Why is what hats?

Why is what hats? Now there's a straw that's got hats. Wayne's world. Disc that's got a hat. Why is it all just a variety to do? You beauty! Well because our loyalty card guys don't want us throwing the hats. Yes, it gets hat privileges for that.

We can put why in to it on social. They are awesome, thank you. They are awesome, Jack. Fantastic. Well, I'll put it on. Okay, people might have, might be remembered a couple of weeks ago, that I found a website of freelancing website called Upwork. Now, you can post any job on this website and I thought it could be a wonderful little time saver, wonderful little trick to have up our sleeve

if rather than having to come every week to the podcast with something to talk about, you know, that's a lot of pressure. It can be a lot of pressure on us and some weeks you just flat out. Now we love doing podcasts but, oh, particularly this climate, your home schooling. Oh, it's just, I mean, we just got some stuff.

You were back down here in the golf sim, you were packing it down, swinging the sticks, packing it back up for the podcast. So we really don't have a Jack still doing his radio show. Yeah. We really don't have tons of time. So I put on this website upwork. I posted a job that said,

can you write amusing conversations between three people for a podcast? Yeah. Now, only one person replied to the ad, his name was Teo. Where was he again? Gentlemen from Nigeria. Nigeria at the time. Still, you one person replied to the ad, his name was Teo. Where was he? Gentlemen from Nigeria. Nigeria at the time.

Still, speaks excellent English. Teo, back and forth, me, I said, what is this? How does this work? I said, look, Teo, here's the deal, mate. You could be, I didn't tell him, I just said, look, it's three guys. If this goes well, there could be more work here. Got him to write three scripts, three scenarios. Three, three, three, two, a bit of info about us. So this is what I said. I said, look could be more work here. Got him to write three scripts, three scenarios.

Three, three, nine, bit of info about us. So this is what I said, I said, look, it's three guys. I want this to be a natural sanding conversation. Listen, I shouldn't be able to tell this has been written for them. I think that's interesting. I think that's important. Yeah, yeah.

Now to achieve that end, here is some detailed information about the fellas. Yeah, okay. So you can be, you'll, you'll see what I've given him during the script. I think it'll become apparent, some of the facts I've given Teo, and I say I'd love it to end on a laugh. You know, and because that kind of feels like a nice conclusion. Yes. And I think it's, I think it's okay for you to know this, Andy, you get the out. I get the out, I get the out. I get the punchline. Andy gets the out. So, we all dream of it right?

Yeah. I mean, we're out. Even when this becomes a promo. That's you. That's you getting a home run. And that's what's going to get replayed over and over again across the podcast one network. And particularly when we have an award ceremony at some point,

whenever I was back at the room and they'll go, you know, when it is. Best regional podcast. Or best seemingly natural conversation. Best, best, best to the best of our knowledge. Unscripted conversation. Because I think we'll do a good job here. Kind of hiding the strings. And then I was going to help play this during the nomination phase. We'll lose out.

But it'll be nice to hear the nomination phase. We'll lose out. It's going to be nice to hear it. So the rest of the auditorium to here, we didn't deserve to win, because we know in our hearts it was scripted, and we would have had to get up and reject the award for Best Uncripted Convo, but it will still get played. You're a funny bit. Hey, we've got a little delay. His name is Theo. We've got a little jingle to kick this off.

You're just passing us some cards. Here's the, here's the, here's the way. You've all got, we've all got 15 cue cards in front of us. Each card represents the next bit of dialogue between the three of us. So you kick it off to Ando. Okay. Top and he really likes you. He's given Andy book and duties here and he kicking off the convo and you bring it on bringing you home with a big one. Okay. And I should also say he titled

this conversation called are we careful? Okay. Okay. And I should also say he titled this conversation called, Are We Careful? Okay. Right. So that's a bit of a more philosophical pondering here. It's a discussion between three men I suppose, being us, if we're careful or not. I think the only other thing you need to know is he was very, he's a great worker, TAYO. He got back to me within a day. Wow.

Nailed it. We had a bit of back and forth. I accidentally, I have been in $200 for three scripts. I didn't realize the websites in US. Oh, geez. It's like, I can't believe that's been so enthusiastic. He's emailed me almost every single day asking for more work. It's like more than you'd earn as a rider for fallon or something. This plays more than the Academy Awards. So, I absolutely think he's worth it. Here we go. So, let's go get into it. So we posted a job on a freelancing app and the job was taken up by a Nigerian chat So now we relax without worrying what to say Because this on exec that has been written by

All right as a person I love things to be very tidy and neat That's why I love the game of golf, neat and precise. Things can always be arranged in that place. That for me is being careful. Thanks, Paige. Well, for me, I'm not all together tidy. Of course, it may not be totally scattered and all, but two neat just freaks me out.

That doesn't mean I'm not careful. Thanks, Paige. Well, it's the proper place to be for you. I mean, you want a P-contest. That speaks volumes. I want a P-contest? Yes, but that doesn't make me dirty. I became a superior man.

But you, you love a rough sport. You love motorbikes. That, that's not in any way tidy. Having a neat room is not the perfect criterion for judging carefulness. I'm a chef. I must be careful and thorough with everything I do at a kitchen. But we must not forget that you are also a karate black belt holder.

I may have been a little bit generous in sort of the bio descriptions. I was just about coming to that. You love karate and you love camping in the wild. Talk about being careful again. Well, that's all adventure. I'm a person who loves the adventure and the fun that life offers. For me, life without adventure is sick. That's why I do all of the things I do, cooking, karate and camping. They are all an outfall of me being an adventurous person. But all of those

things, especially the last two, come with a lot of hazards. Well, what's an adventure with that a little bit of risk factor? That's what makes it an adventure after all. Well, that's where the danger comes in. You're in the wild. No. No. Anything could come at you.

Ryan could come at you with a beer from the house of the script. Please read the script. How do you even think of surviving out there? That's really dangerous and you're not being careful. Well I don't really think being careful has anything to do with all that we've mentioned above. You should usually say above in a conversation it does give away at scripting but we'll

I can be in the next time. Oh yes it does. You for example are extremely careful. It's just you and your wife plus your dog in your truck. That's all there is to you. Anything else? Well, he is careful about bunnies, but you, but you, Hamish, you're never careful and I'm more careful than you are.

Jack may be the most careful of us all, but you are definitely the most careless person among us all. Here we go, Jack, bring it home. I have a final thought. Peeing or cooking or camping or riding a motorbike doesn't make one careless. It goes past that. You have to look at it from the point of attitude. I may love playing guitar slowly compared to another man, someone else may not. I really do not mind driving my truck into some really bad roads, but someone may not want to do that. It's our attitude to things that determine whether or not we are careful. Here we go, here's the...

You can say that again. I'm gonna have to... That's a joke. Question for you both. Is something brand new, if it hasn't been used? I'll give you a second. I think it... I mean, here's my initial blink reaction. I think you go from brand-news time specific. And then it slowly dissolves off the item

and it can remain in mint condition, but not brand new anymore. Great, I think you've cleared it up because I'll give you the scenario. My cousins live in the country and they have a big fair in the area for the whole district, and it's the major fundraiser for the time, and they can't do it at the moment. And so I've been assisting them in the area, trying to get it all online.

And so I was looking online at the website and having a look at the raffle. And the main prize is from the local car dealer up there. Yeah, great. In the region. And he said it's a brand new car, zero kilometers on the odometer brand new car. It's 2018 Holodastra. Oh, yeah. all the astronauts. Nine to make M119, you could maybe say brand new, but yeah, an 18-astra. It's a mint condition, Astra. It is.

But again, mint condition sounds like, say if you've got something from 1970, it's a mint condition. I'm impressed. But I think it's like a Ninja Turtles figurine that's never been open from the 90s. Yes, that's not brand new. Even though no kid is played with it. That is a mint condition. So, at what year did it not become brand new?

So, you thought it was 2019? Well, even then, I mean, I think it's a once in a year you could accept a late model 2019 car as brand new. You could, couldn't you? So... But this car is only... would you accept it's new? It's a new car? Well, it's definitely a new car. Oh, actually, is it just me?

Or does this sound like one of the radio breaks written by Teo? LAUGHTER What? What? You can say that again. Don't steal my life. That's the thing. You don't my life. I'm so happy. You don't.

I'm very scared to try it. LAUGHTER All right, ando. Yeah, just because we're confined, doesn't mean we can't be full of power. Hmm. And just as a side note, we were just about to get the book out. We were wearing the ice bed, this bloody COVID.

And the Wuhan National Printing Proud. Yeah, and worse people to book for the job. Yeah, we're actually not back to square one. Yeah, we're not far off. That square four at the moment. We were well into the teens. Yeah, so apologies for that. What can you do?

But that's the way of the world. The book will come out for sure. We'll ring group. Yep. And that is on our plate. That's a big time on our plate. We have a center of the plate with the potatoes. Hey, a few people sent this one in.

Can I just keep this up? So uncredited. Yep. The on the home front, the music special that was on a couple of years ago, from home on TV, a few people noticed that Guy Sebastian, heavy's aria in the background when he was filming from home, a bit of a power move. He had five of them.

Five of them. So, not a bad power move. You could have been a good dog from anywhere in his house. You could have picked a blank wall. You could have been one of them, didn't you? Never seen his aria's. Aaaaaah, came from Richard Whitehawk, different rich. International number, so I'm not sure where he's from.

That's out loud. So that's the plus 852. I feel like some of you are from Asia, isn't it? Could be too lazy and friendly. Whilst self-isolating with my girlfriend. Hong Kong. Hong Kong. Thank you, Jack.

Not Rayman, but delayed man. Perfect, Jack. Thank you from Hong Kong, Richard. Whilst self-isolating with my girlfriend, when I see her doing the washing up, I give her a hug and I say, I like this new you. She's always done the washing up.

He's a bold move. Kevin, Kevin, when you're trying to get the better of an alpha in a conversation, ask them what they do for a living, then say, oh, that's my plan B. This is from John Bernadelo. Power move, out of wedding. So obviously not, you can't have to do it at the moment, but once weddings are up and going, there will be an absolute audience. That's a lot of fun. When the groom has said something really moving during this speech to his new bride and

the crowd claps to the approval, pick your moment for the noise to die down, just enough so you can be heard saying, I wrote that for him. Ando, how I move, when this is from Tom Ryan. Is that, no, so that's Jack Ryan, Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just for a second, I thought he might be getting a classified pal though. Tom Ryan, um, when someone tells you some good news or a cool story they have, simply reply,

wow, that's huge if true. This gives the impression that they're even lying, or it's just not that great. Example, great news guys, my wife is pregnant. Wow, that's just not that great. Example, great news guys, my wife is pregnant. Wow, that's huge. Really like it. Andrew Price here. He says, this is an asshole thing to do. A lot of them are. When you see a hitchhiker holding their thumb out, give them the thumbs up. charger holding their thumb out. Give them the thumbs up. My mum hates it, would I do it? What's she he's talking for? I gave her a lift.

Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.