Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2020 Ep 92

Episode Date: May 20, 2020

1. Phone Number Heaven 2. Lockdown purchases 3. Special Skill – which liquid is depicted? 4. Pizza Lotto 5. Loyalty cards 6. Wee man 

A LISTENUP PRODUCTION Activate your internet Cause the hay mission and the podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering 1 Ohohoi do you hem Ohohoi sir Ohohoi do you him oh, sir? Oh, how do you Jack oh? How are everybody back in the studio? We are we we are back at HQ nice to be back here very nice I mean it is and it isn't obviously We'll miss the golf sim

Is wearing a glove Did you bring it no? I didn't didn't. I didn't like having it because I couldn't use the track pad on my laptop as well. I'm also a hoiter. I'm a fan of the fairway though. I'm a having you over in the rough down the screen. We also hoid a Mitch from Hong Kong. Well done Mitch. I'm going to voice it's Mitch from Hong Kong here. I'm about starting a 50 kilometer high-column Hong Kong trail Just want to give Andy a quick update on hang saying it's up 67 points today You have your own need for cigarettes and Hey, I found a great place for you to camp up here. Look it up. It's called the W. Thank you for your Chinese New Year big start. Assuming there will be a lion bounce involved.

Obviously Jack will be on the drums and will be supported by the distress of tambourine players. What I say to keep up the gusto and a big shout out to the web user jazz for creating stuff and easy form to upload this audio. Lovely. A lot of stuff to have back there, isn't it? Do appreciate, we always appreciate our gusto being recognized. Yes.

One of the key. And gusto. Oh, gusto, save some for later. Save some gusto for later, guys. 50 kilometer hike, that's impressive. Certainly won't be the most difficult thing he does that day if he's already uploaded to the audio audio. More of a cool down. You think a 50 kilometer hike after you've battled

the form to get the audio up. I think people have really used the time to learn the system once you get to know it. Sure. Very use it fairly. And that's a lot like a lot of people are like you know I'm gonna learn a language. We're gonna use that lockdown time to learn a language. Of course, you know, it'll be lovely to come out of lockdown for a lot of people around the world knowing how to upload a guide. It's an impossible task.

You could certainly make steps to learn it, but you would need perhaps 10 years of lockdown to fully understand this is to... Hey, I kicked it a off. What are you up to? I had a question for both of you. Yeah. How long do you reckon is the time period that a phone company waits before handing off

a number again? So, so someone changes their phone number. Does the next day, if Darryl walks in, can he get that? I reckon that wait a few years because you've got to flush out the wrong numbers. And where does it go to the bottom of their list? Like, and do they ever retire a number? Like, basketball clubs will like, when did Don Brandman's phone number get retired out of respect?

Peter, we'd... If Peter never closed down, that's probably the only way. If it ever closed down, that's probably the other big. If it ever closed down, that after a tie, that out of respect. And it gets raised to the top of the Telstra building. That's why we don't know these answer these questions, but that's why I've got Steve Carey, who's the general manager of media at Telstra corporate affairs.

Do you want to stay? Steve, you're there. I am indeed. Get a Andy. Get a Hamish. I'm very interested in this. This is, I mean, sub question too. Let's, I've got, I've got something else I actually want to, I've been thinking about

lately. I didn't know Andy was going to get you out today, but I'm not going to waste my time doing the talk. Don't waste your Steve time. Firstly, let's do with Ando's question. I think it's a good one. I changed my mobile phone number, for instance, you know, probably 10, 12 years ago. Yeah.

Did I, would that be back in circulation now? It certainly was. We normally quarantine numbers. So if you hand your number back or you decide to change your number, that old number that you've given back, that'll be quarantined for about six months. Yes. And then from that six month period, after that six month period, I should say, that will come back into circulation. So someone else can pick that number up after six months. Yes. And then from that six month period, after that six month period, I should say, that will come back into circulation. So someone else can pick that number up after six months. And where does it sit on the list?

Like is it coming at the bottom as I'll free all that right at the top? No, it just sits in the mix. Numbers. So to give you an example, at any one time, at Telster, we've got around 680,000 numbers that are available for customers if they wish to come in and grab a mobile number Yeah, and that's why you're in store. You're dreading that bulk that bulk order of 700,000 You're finding that I mean

I'm Becoming a salesman. We're making it on it. Be good for sales, but how are we going to do that those last numbers? The last 20,000 is out Okay, well that is fine. Here's my other question. I recently, you know, I had a mate going, oh, let me give you my work number as well. Like if you want to call me at work and it's a mobile, but it was, you know, let's just say,

and it ended in like, you know, 838 or something. And I was like, oh, good number. And he goes, yeah, I paid more to get a premium number. So you know, you can do, you can pay more to get a catching a good number. And he goes, yeah, I've paid more to get a premium number. So then, no, you can do. You can pay more to get a catching and mobile number. Yeah, there are. You can request different numbers. And then there's also certain clusters of numbers

are owned by different organizations as well. So obviously, we as Celstia pay for numbers, the we hold, other telcos pay for numbers that they hold. But then people will hang out for certain pre-sixes like you might want to go for, you know, if we're in the 0-4-1-2 numbers as an example, you might want to get 0-4-1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8 as a number to those. The person that owns that number, I think you know who that person is. That's like the person you see driving around in the Bentley, which is like just the number I've just said 8. 40 is, I mean that's just not the comparison.

I just the number, I just say it's eight. 40 is, I mean, that's what's his number. Comparison, uh, those are like, uh, like the number plates, uh, that you see on, on certain cars, people will wait to get the right one. So let me ask you this, what if, and who would ever do this, but say that person that bought that one to three for five, six, seven, eight number, what if they handed it back, with that sin in the poor for six months, when you'd sell that on or it goes to the premium pack. There's such big money in that number. you couldn't sit on that, could you? I understand it would go back into the general pool. I would

I would assume that that is the fact. I'll be making a huge vanity. A huge vanity number. By sheer luck, you could get 8888. You can barely tell the difference though, mate, once you've got it, it's say they polish them right up. That's very exciting. Steve, that's all we wanted to ask, to be honest.

Steve, would you say if someone had a vanity phone number that lost touch with the common man, or that they had just... They just take care of the people. They pride themselves, or take pride in the adherence. They're treating themselves. I think they would take pride in it. And secondly, it's actually a very simple thing to remember if you can get a rolling prefix on your numbers, but actually roll simply off the tongue.

But as you guys would know, as I do, once you've got a number generally speaking, you tend to hang onto it because you are, you're not necessarily stockpile, it's much easier to recall that number and share it with people and they don't run a risk of people calling you from years ago on different numbers. We all remember a few months ago when coronavirus hit people rushing to tell us to start and stripping the shelves with all the numbers and now they look like idiots to stop I'm serious about it. Take care. Hey, it launches my new segment. Oh!

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We've been trained. We've been trained. We've been trained. We've been trained. We've been trained. We've been trained. I've done it open, I realized there are it clapped and it's a bit slow, so we'll probably jazz it up the next time. But bear with me for this. I wonder who it will be. When we call phone number heaven, will it be a he or she? In phone number heaven. Do I get a drink of your audition? Are they receiving all of your own boutique calls? We'll find out when we die.

The phone number heaven. Me only there guys. Hey, this is... so we did nine. Who did my old phone number? I'd like to pass the piece, Pave Sheer. This is, I think I remembered it correctly. Yeah. But I couldn't find it on my computer.

He's got it. This is a phone number, how do you mean? Yes. So I thought we could take it off with your old phone number to see who's got it and find out whether anyone's contacted you and see whether they did to pass on any messages. This, this, from memory, it was because at the time, this was about 12, I reckon 12 years ago. Yeah, maybe 10, 12 years ago. At the time, it had got into a high school.

Yeah, and it just was like, okay. And you were sureing things up with your wife. So it's good just to flush out and you know, I know, might have been just before a medzah. Really? Yeah. But it was just it was a particular high school. I mean, the class has grown up now, so I won't name it, but it was a Melbourne high school. Yeah. And it just got the night and I went, look, fair play. It's pretty. It's obviously written down somewhere, but just so I

can go about my day, just so I can get my chat. I just cut this line off. Let's see if this person who's picked it up, do it, they've got calls from the high school. My best service you have called has incoming call restrictions. Please try again later. Maybe that's where sorry, your call cannot be called. Oh, we get it, we get it. We get it. Please hang up and try your call again. It's still in the next. Maybe someone got it and they handed it back. So maybe is that correct? Trek and that's it's still untaken. Is that what we're taking from that?

I reckon someone, maybe here's what I reckon, have got someone that have gone here, have this nice new number. And someone's gone great and then they've got water wall calls from a high school and they've given it back. And the phone company's taken it out the back and just chucked it in the bin.

I thought this one could have been a short segment if we couldn't get the call through, but maybe if we've ever got future guests on, it's great service we could run and there's a number we could try it again. Well, how about this? Why don't we find people that our listeners would be interested in hearing what's happened

to their odd number? If you'd like to request someone, then we'll try and hunt them down to play phone number heaven with them. So if someone's like, I'd love Eric Banner to do a investigation. Great. We'll do that. for a sent me a message going, gee, you know, of course, you know, lock down tough time

for a lot of people around the world. You're like, gee, saving money, but not going out. Yeah, I said, gee, I'm saving so much money, and you said, really? Because my online shopping, and that's when I realized very different players were very for impulse buyers, for you to stuck at home, getting bombarded by ads that have the smartest algorithms in the world figuring out what you will fall for. I was a weak and vulnerable animal. I was flipped over onto my back, the total on his back, and the sharp beak of the internet was just pecking mercilessly my soft belly. And I had to put on the point I was making to you was, I've realized front tucked in, waiting it out.

I realized that buying a beer at the pub costs a lot more than if you buy this to slab. Yeah. And so, and I haven't really been drinking all that much anyway, but not going out. Yeah, it's not going out. It's the social aspect. Now I am sure you saved money there.

Yeah. But then you, you as an impulse buyer were were opened up because they've just got me under their fish and a barrel. You're in the barrel. And they lure me in. And as you know, sand itself, I bought the world's most powerful torch again. I thought that three times now. But I, amongst other things, you'll be proud of me actually this morning I resisted heavily

buying a coppersphere. I mean, this is where, because a lot of these are into bare-mails, they've just got me in there. I just, I wish I'd have an alert. I should set that up, I should set up. I've got a list, I'll bring it in next show. I've got a list, I'll bring it in next show. I've got a list of stuff. I've got a dying to find out. That I at the moment have resisted, but the way I keep my list is I save the Instagram post.

So then I go into laugh at my list, but as I go in thinking a little laugh at it, but then when I'm in there, it's that going, actually, that is a good, I would like to learn that. This morning with the sphere, so he's not what I want to talk about, but I'll just feel you on the sphere anyway. I don't know how much it costs. I haven't bought it. But it goes, it's almost like they made this out as a joke to go, let's see if this go by anything.

Like, let's see if this guy will fall for anything, just because you will get sucked in by a shiny thing. It's like, you won't believe this cup of wine. 99.99%. 99.9%. She were like copper. And it doesn't do it. I think it does. It goes like, you know, it's like a natural antibacterial. And he made a Michael, that is handy actually.

You know, you know, you have just been manning hands in. Yeah. It's like two kilograms. Can carry around a single small shop put to just wipe your hands and get rid of any germs that are on your hands. And they're like, is it on Pete Evans's website? That's got less features than his blender or whatever it was. They're like, you know, and it's mesmerizing, it's aesthetics, mesmerizing.

And it does look beautiful. It's a good magic. You're a cop of sphere. Haven't bought this fear. What I did fall for a couple of bad a month ago, about me six weeks ago, ran about the time. This was in my head when I texted back to you going, man, I'm getting hammered by impulse A few days before, a couple of bad months ago, about me six weeks ago, ran about the time, this was in my head when I texted back to you and I'm getting hammered by impulse positive.

Was an LED hat. So it's a hat that has an in-build LED screen on the front, Jackson, Jack wants one, he's thinking, that's cool. No, I'm nodding in like that does sound like something you would buy. And you look at the ad, you know? People are programming, great fun stuff on the hat.

And really, if you think about it long term, I mean, you and I are set of flat screen orders that does it like curve slightly. It's like that's nice. Cause otherwise you've just stuck it. Yes, yes. No, no, it's not well made, but it's put thought into it.

It's what you'd hope for. It's kind of like a trucker with a, it's all black and it has a black screen. And it's a rolling thing like. You can program it program it going to the add there are different modes you can put the hat on and we have different you know I own a few different hats and over time that's going to add up that expense now you might pay a little bit more for this hat but it can be any hat you want you know you could write Chicago balls on the hat and have that scrolling across in there you've got a Chicago Bulls hat.

Wayne's World. You're right, Wayne's World. Variety discounts stores. You can have that scrolling across your head. So it really could be any hat you want. What's your favorite baseball team? Yeah, okay. It could be the Cardinals.

You can be a Cardinals guy now, but I'm going in the football week in easy reprogram it. Now it's a Carlton Blues hat. So it really is the Swiss Army hat. Yeah, of hats. And so that's the attraction, right? You get to be not for that. So it comes not surprising. I get excited. Yep. You look at the ad. It looks like it got a well put together organization. Oh, no. It's on your eye, does it? Oh, yeah. It came a few weeks ago. Here's the thing, came with, and I think it's fair for me to say here, and it's manufactured, it was manufactured in China, and I believe

the team that put it together English is definitely not the first language that the instruction people wrote, because it's quite broken English, and the, you know, often in contraptions like this, it's the engineers that write the manual. So I also bought like a clock off of my once, similar thing, you can't understand, it's like they've write it in scientific language. You can't understand how to work it. How to work it's not written by a marketing person who's like, hey man, I love this, this is easy,

you just press this part of diagrams. So it comes, you know, in this like crinkled wrapping, it's kind of squashed, it's got this very, very thin paper, like two-step thing that doesn't make any sense of what to do with it comes with a little USB cord because you've got to plug your... Okay. It's because USB mini, out that you've got to plug into the hat that both charges it and programs the language. You then have to plug that into your computer and then you have to download an app or a program that to load to load that's not used, you can even just tell by the screenshots, it's not a user-friendly program. So I went, okay, it seems like a lot of admin. I'll put that aside.

In the few weeks of past and I've lost that scrapper paper. So now I have the hat, any USB mini, but no chance. I've got what it's called or what the program is that you need on your laptop to program your hat. Chapter two of this tale contains a twist. The people that sold me the hat, unhouted, frauding my credit card. So as far as customer experience goes, it's really plummeting for me at the moment. I can't use the hat. And what they're doing is just putting through more orders of the hat. I would have reported them except I'm too embarrassed to say you purchased this hat. I kind of want the new hats to arrive because they'll have the slip of paper. But do you think I don't know? I don't know.

So so far they've put through, look I've got the hat I bought and they're arrived, which had everything in it, but I lost the paper. Two more hats have been put through. They haven't got there yet. One stay spent on holding out hope. I can't have a feel like an headquarters. They're going, this guy, he's not canceling his car. He's the most really in love with the hats.

So at the moment, I'm probably their biggest customer. But if the sleeper paper arrives, it will have been worth the fraud. Gosh, I can't wait to check back in with this one. What? Ando, we have had, I mean, we've had so many different types of special skill on the podcast. And they do fall into categories. We, I think I've got one here.

I mean, this falls into the super sense category. You do know who I'm talking about, Connor. I came to my side of the fence. I said, should we do this? And I suggested, yes, I'd back this. I want to hear if this man can do it. It gave us both, it gave us both high said should we do this and I suggest I back this I want to hear if this man can do it it gave us both Go for both high eyebrows when we read this Conor I didn't say I can successfully identify the type of drinkable liquid

So not petrol yeah being poured by sound alone Water coffee juice soft drink ice coffee beer whiskey spirits you name it? Yeah, I can do it now Normally this should be a fly in type of fear. We would want him in person, but of course, with social distancing, we thought, how do we do this? We can't do it over the phone. That's too hard for me.

I mean, it's already, I think, a very, very hard skill to do, but to do it down the phone line, no good. So what we've done is we've recorded five liquids. Number one, two, three, four, and five, and just right now, sent Connor, the audio file, he joins us now, Connor, oh, hey. Oh, hey, Connor, three, four, and five. And just right now, sent Connor, the audio file, he joins us now, Connor, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you can't have you had to listen to the audio yet. I got four out of five and never got the phone call. Oh, you listen to four out of five. Okay. So we should point out we just sent them

labeled one, two, three, four, five. Connor doesn't know what they are otherwise there is no game. Yeah. Connor, first of all, we believe this to be a crazily hard skill. Yeah. That is correct. It is quite difficult, years of experience though. We are quite simple. The effect as people will hear it and you will hear it Conner, is the liquid coming from its natural container.

We haven't poured the amount of something, say if it came in a bottle, we didn't pour it into a jar or a glass It milk from a shoe That would be hard that would be hard, but Connor you ready to jump into this yeah, absolutely all right To guess the liquid that is pouring out. What are you best actually ever? I didn't have to. I hope it's...

We put the right amount of time and effort into that out. We're about to have our socks blown off here by your guessing skills. So you close to a computer connoisseur, you can have a listen to number one now. Yeah, give me five seconds. Jack, do you want a far off number one? Do we have it here? Yep. Okay, Connor, what are you reckon? Number one, I'm going to go with a good old juice, whether that be apple or orange. Oh, we can tell you good old juice is not correct. Oh, I have it in the water. But it sound like there was some epicvessence at the end

of it, you sure about it, Mike? Mike, get in here. It's water, Mike. Mike, get in. I'm sure that wasn't sparsening water. Throwing a trick bowl in there? Was it a bubble at the end? It did sound like there's a bubble at the end, Mike.

Are you sure this list that I'm looking at here is correct? Genoa admit, guys, not sure why I've been brought in. I've had nothing to do with this one. Oh, that's a surprise. Donald Trump, he's best. No, I know. He knows their beautiful, beautiful sounds and everyone agrees.

I did hear the fizz outside and I said, this sounds like there's fizz at the end of that. Why me or what if I'll skip that? We don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, we don't, D We heard of Fizz. I'm going to strike that one from the record. Okay, there was enough confusion there on the judging team I've been.

We're getting assured that the rest of the list matches up. Okay, number two. Number two, have a listen, Connor. We'll have a listen in here. I caught it in half a day already. Connor? So that's a good old soft drink, would that be a fake a cola? Yeah, I like it I actually like it a lot

I could have come back And I like it I like your technique here of a cooling at a good old Every beverage is a good old And then you'll throw out a few examples Hoping for the bonus of getting it correct Which you have Okay, you're correct there. Let's hear liquid number three.

Will that be a beverage of choice? Oh, it's not. It is coffee. It's coffee. Yeah, we should, I think what's happened here is. What's sort of coffee, can I? I'm a conor. I don't know.

I guess it's like from a... Just tasting coffee. Well, it's not reacting with powdered coffee in the cup. I'd say maybe it's from a filter. Plunge a coffee. Don't count up all one of those, not on the wealthy side. Sure. Top end of town drink for sure.

But Andy, he shows me all of this was recorded in perfect high definition in his house. I don't even drink coffee, so I'm out of my league here. Sure, cognac man only. All right, another one for honor for Cotta, because I don't think. I think what's happening is Dars is recorded this in his studio with an amazing microphone.

And we're hearing basically a beast neising on the rim of the glass. Okay. Okay. I don't know the last song going to after Conor's song. Now I'm going to go with back to my first dance where it being a juice. And he's incorrect. Ando, what's it to me? It's coming out of a bottle because it, it, you had to get it going and then it's lost

and stopped and started. It's not stopped and started. So is it a Gordon's gin? I thought he closed, it was a vodka. Oh, I don't have any. Well, what did you get that guess, Conor? It's a candy. Good job, Andy.

I think you could do it. Okay, number five here. Scores are irrelevant at this stage, purely playing for honor. And I think we've now got the vibe of the microphone. Okay, here we go. Far away, Jack, and Connor, have a listen to number five. Oh, boy.

Now it's serious. Is that any wine beverage choice? A wine beverage? I'll put you off a note as a wine. That is not a wine beverage choice. I heard something being put down after it. So it seemed like a small container for me. Zume in and Hans.

Zume in and he working, going to you live from Quantico as he now analyzes the noise. What do you think it was, Andrew? I guess... Oh gosh, a juice. No, that's my boy, it's a juice beverage juice. It came, that's your heart, me. It's gone, Dan, juice. And he's finishing on two from five almost in clean territory. Conor was just the one we got the Coca-Cola Which you are believe a little bit of a softball

Look great skill Conor to have should you have it? which you do not, but still a great man for joining us on the show. Thank you. Well, I said you were talking of no value, but... Thank you boys. Thank you. Hey, we played this last week, and thought we'd give it another go.

Yeah, it's not like it didn't work. Oh, it worked. Last week, I mean, it sorry. I mean it showed great merit It showed great merit last week and as they say in the aviation industry if you invent a new plane Goes down the runway takes off a bit has a bit of a crash as we were bumpy landing You get you get that plane straight back on the runway You don't let that plane sit in a hanger because then it'll forget how to fly So we're getting it back on the runway and it's we're gonna play pizza lotto again. Michael joins us to play a hoi to you, Michael.

Oh, hey, how you doing boys? Michael, good luck today. You know how the game works, but essentially we are going to ring Pino. We're gonna go with the same pizza store. Yeah. And hopefully to a pizza in the oven, he won't tell us what pizza is in the oven. You have to guess. We think Pino will be more across the game this week after the last week's experiment. We simply will give you the options that Pino has at the restaurant, the menu, the available pizzas. Yeah, it's based on that.

You then go, yes, I think whatever pizza you think, is in the oven, that's the next to be ready. Bear in mind, there could be several pizzas in the oven it will be pino's call which pizza is closest to completion that's the fun of pizza lot if you win we get give you a coin and eight you know you can't I think you win the pizza and a pizza we're gonna send you a pizza we're about to you Michael I'm in Sydney great this is it being pino's pizza is in the mascot area yeah good good could you be cold that's fine Right. Well, this is in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the master's in the Hey, no, hey, no, hey, miss an Andy again. How are you? Oh, hey miss an Andy.

Hey, how are you? Right. We were hoping that we might play pizza lotto again. I know why it's my thing. Oh, great. So remember the rules from last week. We've got a young man called Michael. In fact, we'll just get him up now. Hold on. Here we go. Pino, say hello to Michael.

Hey, Michael, how are you? Good, how are you good how you doing Pino hey good to good to good okay so we all know how pizza lotto works now um Pino the first thing we need to ask you is without telling us what pizzas there they are are there some pizzas in the oven not beaten the oven they's fast in the store for. Okay. Well, it hasn't been in the morning. Thanks for having me. That's an auto in for me. No, no, no, no, that's okay. Sometimes when you're watching Tatslotto, there's no balls in the machine.

No balls in the machine. That's it, no one in the machine. Yeah. Hey, Pino, where is the rush period? When do you normally have pizzas in the machine? I know it's 145 now. Yeah, usually, but in the night, like, you know, six o'clock and not too late, eh?

Too late for us. What about the lunch rush? Is there an... Lunch, you know, like, you know, it's more than Thursday and Friday, you know? Thursday and Friday, right? Okay, Friday and Friday, right? We've heard a chord the show earlier in the week. Okay, Peno, so it might be Tuple Seaf.

We'll try you again another week. Okay, Peno, so it might be Tuple Seaf. We'll try you a get another week. And what do you hear? Different consolation prize, Michael. Would you like to guess the pastor coming out of the oven? Come on. Yeah, come on, man. Just a standard spaghetti ball and ace. And no, Marinata.

Marinata! Oh! Oh, we're still in the front of the guest. Oh, my God. All right, Peno. So maybe we'll try to, after 12 o'clock one week. We're still in the front of the guest. Oh my god. All right, Pino. So maybe we'll try to after 12 o'clock one week. OK, now I'll see you.

Heavy wrap up. Thank you for that, Pino. All right, Michael. It's a very exciting there. All right. Consolation game played and lost. We're going to send him a token of no value. We'll send you a token of no value, Mike. I love it.

Sorry, yeah. No, pieces in the oven. Not a contingency we thought of. No, certainly happens. Well, we know what happens now is pizza. It's a lot of... Like, we can even play the music. BELL RINGS

MUSIC I'm loyalty card update. What's here? How are we going? We've got some problems. We've got some problems. We have some positive stuff before. One was positive for Entree. How big are the problems? Mankos? I think it's a buffet for problems. Wow, the only buffet open at the moment. Not to say that they're into manable. We'll get through this. Yeah. Just eating comes from us.

Well, thank you to everybody who is registering their stores. You get a homie-sharee.com. Is it just me because I haven't read every single store that has been registered? I, you know, you scroll through. There's a lot. There's thousands. And you sort of scroll through the list and you'd click on a few random emails. Is there a disproportionately high amount of sex shops that you guys have noticed? No, I haven't seen what I've seen. I haven't seen

three really. So I just feel like if there's some sort of like online forum amongst and it's not necessarily sexy land either. I don't know if it's, I think it's more like boutique one off. Okay. Like, good. They're like, I just feel like they're out and forced to go, come get your card, pleasurable goods, and just get right and give us five percent. Everybody wins.

Like a generous lover. This one I have my light. Night Vision Australia is the name of the store. If you want to get yourself some night vision, I thought you might look so funny. You bring that up a couple of weeks ago with my son's birthday. And great cake, by the way. I thought it was one of these best jacket.

Easily, yeah. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. So, but here's on the present front, Ryan. I got a few presents from just a few little ones. Though it was like I organized a few things. It's like I found these walkie talkies and night vision goggles.

I said, oh honey, what did, well, well, well, let me have a look at that. Because this is not your department. No offense, you were in charge of a lot of stuff. But surely walkie talkies and night vision, you've got an ex-bed in the house. She shows me the walkie talkies. I went, oh honey, this is Mickey Mouse shit.

This is kid stuff. It's like what these trading secrets are. Yeah, true, but this is, these are toys. Yeah. She's like, yeah, that's for the six year old. No, I wish you'd have told to me because I can get you much better walking dogs than this. And the night vision goggles, she goes,

look at these night vision goggles. I said, oh, this will be good because you, again, no offense, but you have no idea what you're doing in this realm. Look at it. They're night mission goggles And I went I don't think we give them to him. This is it these won't work. They're a gimmick And they are a gimmick. They put them on to do a mission at night. There's zero extra visibility You know, I want to go your ones which has got the four

We've got the four Four spectrums on them. Well, you know where to go now. Yeah, it's in Alexandria and Sydney, night vision. I promise you, they won't be so you night mission goggles. And you'll get yourself the, the, the disc gap. Military grade, as well as Murray River Caravan. Hi, therefore you get a disc gap there as well.

Absolutely. So the Caravan Park at night, heard a funny noise, night vision night. I reckon there would be a huge overlap between night vision, afic reckon there would be a huge overlap between night vision and aficionados and caravan. So many great stores coming forth and offering the discount we thank them, we're going to put them all up at the website. It's HamishNani.com forward slash loyalty I believe.

Yep. Jack, I understand you had some good news. Well, almost. I bought coffee beans for my wife. And then after I, the guy slipped into my DMs on Instagram and said, just so you know, we do accept the Hamish and I know that the world's a card you could have had the discount. Not quite yet, because the cards aren't out. Hards aren't out, but that's still good news. It's like a reverse mystery shopper, isn't it?

A mystery store. Hey, he's the conundrum for us. Yep. There's so far to my count 24,210 people registered. That's loyalty. That's for the card. And that's taking out the Mr. Dick knows. That's for removal. Monster of testicles. Yes, yes. Oh, anatomy removed. for removal, monstros, just to kill. Yes, yes, all anatomy removed. Yep. Um, we, this is challenging on the budget for you and I. Not my department.

I know that's why I, I said to you, hey, we've got problems here and I said if it gets to 10 to 15,000, we're going to have real problems with regards to how much money we've got in the joint account Yeah Now we're at 24,000 so because we've sailed past that number am I to believe we got through the problem patch? Relief Money's are we you did say 10 to 15 would be problems. Yeah, so now we've we're 10,000 past the problem patch mega problem we can't well. I find that confusing. Okay It's it's gonna be tens of thousands of dollars

Costing saved no no so it's worth a shot. Do do we want a cap it right now? I'd proposed to use some weeks back a cap at 15 and I was pending wasn't it? It was pending. You said, you'd come back to me. You were your border Ella. So a cop was fear. Not yet. Thank you. Have more the cop was fear yet. Now you're telling me, I might have to buy it today

if I want to use the joint account. So it seems like the lever is broken. So you got caught up in, I have been distracted. Look, I understand what you're saying. We obviously can't make infinity cards. Can I throw this at you? I know we don't want to put another sponsor message on the card, and I agree.

That's not, because it's all start, all start. But there is a letter that goes out with the card. Could we have a billboard on that that is open for sale? Wow. And the billboard on the letter is bought. And then the letter goes out. And I don't even have to mention the company, the boss on the podcast.

That's like a direct mailing. It's just a mail out. It's old school, it's bloody old school. But that might be added just cover the cost. It is very old school, isn't it? Cover the costs of the cards and mail service. Cause you understand, just even sending, it's like 25,000 stamps.

It's $1.50 to send it, little loan. No, but put on a says on Julie's desk. I know, we can't put 20,000. That's not done for 10 years in this building. But 24,000, and she's not even in at the moment because no one's obviously working she might notice. From the building.

24,000 letters she'll notice. So can, I don't want to ruin the integrity of the card. I understand. No one's can sponsor the card, but they can sponsor the letter that accompanies the card. Can we dedicate a billboard box? We put another letter in. So it's on a separate letter.

It's more printing. It's more printing. Enjoy it. Julie doesn't do it. Can it be on the same letter, please? Can we mention, can we, what if we just mention the company? We do a PS.

So there's no, it's not a billboard. We're not selling like a giant, you know. Yeah. I mean like tiny. Yeah. Billboards, there's nothing that not a billboard. We're not selling like a giant, you know. I mean like tiny. Yeah. Like it's the billboard, there's nothing that says a billboard has to be, is there a, there has to be big?

So it's like a banner ad for a letter? Yeah. Gifts. Oh, if this has been done before, Jackie. Why are you so strict on it though? I just don't want to mess with the integrity of the card. No, but it's going to be, it's going to be, every one will know it's separate.

So you have your paragraph of explaining congratulations, you of the card. No, but it's going to be, it's going to be, every one will know it's separate. So you have your paragraph of explaining congratulations, you got your card. What an advantage. It's a little window down the bottom that, yeah, what about if this letter was bought to you by? That's nice. So we were really, we're really up front about it.

It's the letter sponsor. I think people will be fine with the letter sponsor. Yeah. Okay. The sale of a letter sponsor. Okay. Now, does that mean we're going uncapped or we do cap, do we cap it at 25,000 to go,

because the only reason I'd support a cap is to go, it's probably already past 25, okay, well whatever you want the cap to be, the only reason I'd support a cap, let's say 30,000 is to go, if you're not in the first 30,000, how loyal are you? Yeah, I mean, it's not a sound like Donald Trump here, but it's a loyalty test to see if you could register within the first 30,000

What do we save a hundred? Because I know people listen to this delight. Okay, we cap it at 29900 So you're saying? Drive away We have a hundred left and if you apply then in the next six to twelve months after that. Yeah, there's a lottery Oh, yeah, one of the last hundred loyalty cards. Yes, that's great. That's how we'll go. Okay, good luck. Good luck, everyone. Good luck, everyone.

Good luck, good luck. Good luck, good luck. Good luck, good luck. And, uh, before we go, I'd love to have float this with you guys. It's a special skill. Not one we can test today, but one I'd be interested to seeing if A, you want to test it.

Yep, great. If we're interested in this power and B I think there's gonna be some logistical discussion about how we test it. Okay Actually writes him with his young man called Darcy writes him with two powers The one I won't go for here unless you grabbed by this I can hear an animal sound and know the animal. Obviously not every animal. Which I think, I mean, it's just the power of someone. Yeah, yeah. And excluding silent animals. So if we were to show you, you know, like a snake without the hiss, yeah. I don't, no, that doesn't see. You can't hear a silent animal. It grabbed me. But then he's convinced he's not every animal.

His conditions definitely lost me. No, so I'll go with the other one he wrote in, which was his premium skill. Join us on the phone, Darcy, how are you mate? Oh, it was, I'm doing. Oh, how do you, my friend? Why, Darcy, you write in here, I'll give the sentence to Andy,

and then you let me know if we've got this right or wrong. Before you're an aiding, I can guess the duration of that urination within the second. Wow. So you front up to the toilet now and you sort of go mentally, I assume, or maybe you yell it out to the house? 45? No, it's in the head, you know. You're around anywhere from 5 to 30, I'll just go, oh, yeah, I'm feeling it. 5's the Christmas. This will be, you know, five example of your past five is a five. Five's your dad telling you to just do it just in case we go. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. That's what I'm doing. Just in case. Down you go, oh, this is a seven seconder and you just whip it out and go, okay, you don't. I'm, yeah, definitely, you

can't just like I'm sure you reckon you can pinch and pinch and well not, yeah, definitely, you can't just want like a, I'm sure you reckon you can pinch and pinch and, well not, yeah, like curling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Speed it up, slow it down. You can adjust the length of your ease as in duration. Sure. Just, just with regards to how high, how you might be pushing, except for timing. Yeah. We've proven, Ham, you came at all. Try and put it behind me. Yeah, we're proven, Ham.

You came at all guns blazing in the initial payoff. I mean, that was just my neck broke the scale. But yes, I did. That wasn't natural, my ears. That was natural. You told me, I would just sit, you hurt yourself. You got my natural power that I hurt myself because I held the weeper so long.

You were trying to flow as hard as you could back swim pressure. I unleashed the gates and applied so long. You were trying to flow as hard as you could. Back swim pressure. I am least the guy that's in applied the muscle. Yeah, but I'm saying that. And that was superior, thank you. But, I'm... It's a pure penis man.

But again, I was appreciate that. Thank you, and you're not wrong, but I am trying to put it behind me. Interesting. So, you're arguing here as an no challenge because you think you could. I think it's tough because it's like when someone goes I'm gonna try and get home without

Stopping at a red light and then they See that the lights are changing and they slow down so much and they roll roll roll roll roll. Oh, yes, it's green again You know, I think that's exactly what that can happen Are you doing this to us do you have what's your pelvic floor control? Well, it's about honing my skills. I'm not going to lie to myself. I want to get as good as possible out of this skill.

I'm still going. I'm not an amateur anymore. I'm getting better and I don't want to lie to myself if I'm guessing a number. Yeah, I get it wrong. But my problem, again, my problem is it weighs way too much testing on the competitor to be honest. Now that he's not clinching, unless we can set up some kind of electro-disfied to fight

out that. Yeah, we make you take a bunch of muscle relaxants, so it really is just draining out. Muscle relaxants then we get a sort of an improvised massage table with the hole in the middle. And we put a bucket underneath. Now you are only 18, so that's going to obviously raise some questions if you're mumble. So we won't do that. No, I don't think we can. But, in your mind, in your version of this skill, is it off the pressure of your bladder, you've honed your guessing skill to be able to go, I know from this pressure I'm feeling,

this is a 22 second way. Yeah, exactly, exactly that. And how are you timing it? climbing it. Uh, Mississippi's. It's the way it is. It's the professional measurement. OK, that does, that does change the calculus a bit. That does change the. To Andy's point, I'm sure I can do it. I know, mate, you're doing your pisses,

if he's in you, to Andy's point,, it does seem a lot like the user is in control of the final result. Yeah. Does take a bit of the scientific rigour out, doesn't it? Okay, it's a no from me. It's been a great discussion. Jack, where you see he got it? There's too many variables here. We can't have...

Would you be willing to come back for the animal skill? No, silent animals. No, we wouldn't. Would you be willing to come back for the animal skill? No, silent animals. No, we wouldn't do a silent animal. But again, I don't think what leads you to believe that you'd be great with the animal skill? I've done it before. What was the animal? Not a snake. It was a... I think have just just put up animal because I've you know proclaimed the skill yeah to crowds before you know mainly just the family yeah and I'm proud that they're gonna right and tested me yeah and you're memorating animals that you got oh now think of it they're pre-recognizable animals but yeah how can we talking of McDonald level like would they feature in

the song of McDonald had a farm? Oh, okay, I'm gonna play a Yeah, okay, we got it live here. We go. This is your addition Andy's playing What's that she's I can either can I have an action replay please? Yeah, we go an action replay please. Yep. Here we go. That is a. So I just just run it through hang on. Run it through.

The system run it through the system. Yeah one misses. That is a. No, slow down that's on that. That is a... Yeah. Oh, are you Mrs. Zee? No, slow down that slow down that. Yeah, four Mrs. Zee. Okay. Can I...

That is a... Macac. No, it's an otter. But... Oh, second game. That was a very sick game. Okay, Daci will leave it there. But thank you.

And no, great. Thank you, mate. You won't be required. We're certainly worth the check in. Quite a catch up, you might. Okay, thanks. See you. Thanks, yes.

Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com. Listen up.