Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2021 Ep 123

Episode Date: March 17, 2021

1. Possible adventures 2. Power Moves 3. Only Fans hard launch 4. Horgs’s book update 5. Special skill tests - Nelson vs Meredith

A list-nuff production. Activate your internet. Cos the Hamish and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. A gusto field air howdy you, Ham. A gusto gloop, howdy you, Hame. A gusto, gloop, to you. A gusto filled a hoi, to you, Jack. Thank you, a hoi.

Yeah, medium gusto back. No. Tentative. Tentative. You don't know how to play it now, do you? I am just going to be myself, and if that's enough gusto for you, it's enough gusto for you. Well, it hasn't been traditionally. Let's see if you can change that scene. Hey also, a gusto filled a hoi to Chloe. A hoi hamish nandy, sorry a bit late

to the power moves movement, but I have a pretty good one that you might want to re-print your book to include. Wow. When you're feeding your pets, when you put your spoon into the tin or the bag and scoop out a big chunk of food they're ready to go, ready getting excited right in their bowl just as you've gotten there, eat the mouth for yourself. Oh, a high cost interspecial power move. But it would absolutely assure you it's a special winner. And all the paying back the dog for all the times, we're just done a pool and gone pick that up with its eyes essentially. So it's nice for you to be getting ready for that.

Any movement of the tall terrier at your house? Still waiting for a tall for the TT. Because you won't be able to see the dogs head from where you are, because it will be towering way up above you. It's just a taller Terry. It's not in the world's tallest Terry. It's I haven't got a Jurassic Park. Sam Neils, step out of his van and go,

when the Terry of the world's Terry bends down to you like a tip of a docus, and looks to you in the eye. You'll know the look of, hey, pick up, my extremely long poo, because it's come all the way down that long, long neck. Yeah, I've been through my incredible intestines. Yes.

Could be looking at 10 meter poos with that thing. Yeah, it would be dangerous situation for all these cockies leg. Yeah, and you would just get back. No, they don't dangerous situation for all these cockies leg. Yeah, and you would just get back. No, they don't cock their leg for food, they squat. Yeah, you've got a lot to learn. You're thinking of a week. Hey.

Just like a sort of a runny, very, very, very runny watering food. With different health. But, yeah, we get Dr. Chris Brown on if you want to give you a tall terrier. Yeah, and you need a bit. Just to explain those extra things. And by the time that land's coming out of the tall terriers arsehole, it'll be... You look a 5-seg coin dropped off the embossed tape, but... That's what I'm worried about.

You're coming at such speed by the time it gets the earth or it might burn up in the atmosphere if you might not have to ever pick one up. That's a new dad, he's just having a tall terrier, isn't it? It is. It burns up in the space quite and can get below the atmosphere. have to ever pick one up. That's an advantage of having a tall tear isn't it? It is. Turns up. And we'll space quite and get below the atmosphere. Yes. Get out of the troposphere.

Get there, ask. Close to the sea level. We won't know until it arrives. We won't know. But I think it's going to be a sub-proposphere dog. I think. Interesting. Hey, we love adventures on this show.

We do. And I feel like we could, I've got an idea where I feel like we can embark on adventure, which will involve the people of the people show. Wow. Okay. I had one as well. Right. I'm likely we've crossed, doubled up.

No. We can do it, though. Well, I had mine yesterday. And there's no rule that says an idea from one month ago is 30 times better than one day ago. But I mean, this popped into my head. Nothing. It's sort of like an idea is like seeds.

Sometimes you have one. You come back to the next dance, growing a little bit. This one hasn't moved. Now it might be a slow hatching seed. Like an acorn, I think, takes a while and then boom, you're a noctree. But maybe not. But maybe I'll throw mine out there as the benchmark. And then when I was here, your adventure and go, okay, if we were to pick... Big an adventure, yeah, sure. Because yesterday in the around house, Mr. Whippy drove past, and in the neighborhood,

heard the noise, went outside, found it, like hunted Mr. Whippy down, got an ice cream, just pandemonium for the kids, couldn't believe it. And I'm saying, you know, that's the rule if you hear Mr. Whippy, you get it. You get it, but you don't run out. No, you wait for that, and we'll find it, and we'll run out from street to street. It's a great summer memory.

And I thought, ice cream is the only food that has conquered the Mr. Whippy delivery system. It's not a food that you hear, the noise, a musical jingle, and you run out of your house, and you're just gonna eat it no matter what time of the day it is. But why does it have to be a food? Maybe it doesn't have to be a food, but I think there's gonna be another product out there.

Is there something else that we can give the Mr. Whippy treatment to? So you hear the music, you run out of your house. So then I'm thinking like pizza slices, hot chips, how much books. How much books do you think you could get a van for the second edition? For the second edition, we... Watch people flocking.

Because it's always time for a book. Ever will run up and then we'll go, would you like your book? It's $34. Yeah. I mean, luckily this guy, I realized I was running along, I only had my phone, I didn't have any cash. And you do have electrically. He had the con bank thing, the, you know, I love it.

That's a cap. But there will be something that pops up for us. Where we go, can we utilize the Mr. Whippy delivery method where you will get a van with music? Great. The crazy thing is he keeps going back and he goes, respect to ice cream because it actually works really well. It's as fresh as it will ever be out of the van. The thing with Peter is it is degrading chips. You can't drive around with a hot oil, slosh in the rain. Everybody loves ice cream. I get the point you Peter is it is degrading chips. You can't drive around with a hot oil, slash an around it. Everybody loves ice cream. I get the point you think about it the more you go.

They've got it. I've done it well. And look, Jeff Fles, on the most part, people are going there because they know it's ice cream. I suppose then you have to like culturally change people to go when you hear this. When you hear this AC, DC track, it's time for a spaghetti juggle.

It doesn't become hard. But I think I like the idea of hijacking the Mr. Whippy music. Yeah. Just sell a different product. I think we don't have ice cream. I know you were thinking you want an ice cream. But while you hear, could I interest you in a judgment T? Yes.

I think you'd have to rather go in new music. Because if I just hear ACD playing, I'm not rushing out with the nephews to go home. I know you do. We go to the rock patrol. Yeah, or probably a trady. But if I hear that music, it's way to trick customers to your store. The trouble is there has to be better than ice cream.

Anyway, that's what I said. The same plan I just said has not grown today as we can tell. We can't absolutely do both, because there's no crossover. Hey, you and I've talked about this when we've been on planes before. Boy, would I love to go down the emergency slide, just once. Yeah.

Don't want to have to go through the crash part, the emergency part. Not worth, um, certainly not worth trying a flock of fake seagulls for an engine for or something. No, no. But with all these planes grounded at the moment, there's never been a better time. Give us a go. Give us a go, but then I thought, I said, give us a go. Would it be better if we have a party on the plane?

We all get one drink from the service. I've got one. I've got one of the trolleys. You got one of the trolleys? My dad bought me one. Seriously, you know, I'm conscious of selling it. It's trolleys. Dad goes, here's a bit of an early 40th birthday present for you, last year during lockdown, it turned out

by the house and I went, you know my 40th is next year. And he went, yeah, no, it's early, it's early. He went, what an earth possessing over to you, though. Yeah, dad, like, saw them for sale. And him and my colleague, bought me an old ex-quantus service, like food and beverage service, Australia and it's got many bottles of wine in it still. So let's use mine. Well, I think you used it. So many this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this,

this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, this, I didn't pick you as an impulse purchase of it. Maybe this is, maybe you've had it all along. So we have, we're all, we have every minute we're allowed. Sure. We all take our seats. The person comes down, we get one drink, whatever it might be from your trolley. Yeah, sure as a,

sure, no, you pick. Or a beer. I don't have the beers. We can buy this. We can buy this. And then it's got Tim Tams in it too, they've expired. And then, you know, Nuts, Tim Tams, whatever. And then at some point, not not.

At some point, it's a surprise emergency slide. I know what it's gonna happen. We don't know where it's gonna happen. We're all listening to maybe the same song but through our headphones like we're all, and then it has, sorry are we simulating a fly or are we having a party? What do you think guys?

No, I don't think you want to simulate the crash because that is horrific. No, I don't think we went, ah, I don't think we don't want to roll playing. No, no, no. No, I agree, I agree. It's like musical chairs really, the music stops and we all, no, it's time.

Yeah, I think it's yeah fun. You can walk around the cabin, walk up and down the aisles and you're having fun and you're having great time So you're not in your seat there would we're avoiding the sit down in your seat and fast in your seat belt section Don't any other emergency don't any of that But you are swollen from a mini bottle. Yeah provided on the house by us because we have a contact and then There's suddenly an exciting

Fliren. Yeah, like all the R&B horn. Yeah And when that goes, we know we know we're heading out the door. Do we get to, they probably want us to do all the slides. They'll just do one one thing. Oh great question. Because I think it's expensive to set them off. It's like a sprinkler in the studio in here. If we got just one, I'd be thrilled. Yeah.

And then we all go down the slide party's finished. Yeah. People are laughing. So I'm putting it out there to the airlines. I know you're doing huge marketing drives at the moment to try, because there's planes going back up in the air. What if we've promised, what if everyone that came,

promised to buy a ticket with that airline, whoever gives it to us elsewhere, if you came to the party? So it's a promise to buy a future holiday. But if we want to put it out to everybody in the podcast, we'd love that airline to fly these people in as well. To the party. We're hitting them up for a bit.

We're hitting them up for a little bit. But that's our first position. We do like taking first position, it's because that's our first negotiating position. Yeah. And then you've got to be fun to go down one. You get to do it as a host, host, host, host. One of the only reasons I'd like to be a there host.

You get to do it in training. Yeah, lots, I think. I think you're always jumping down them. Well, I imagine they'll have a training slide there. I don't want that. I want to do it. We want the real one. We want to see it, yes.

We want to see it open. Yeah, done. That's what we want. BELL RINGS BELL RINGS BELL RINGS BELL RINGS BELL RINGS BELL RINGS BELL RINGS BELL RINGS Done. That's what we want.

Hey palmoos, there'll be an announcement. We're going to check in with Hawks a little bit later on in the show with regards to the palmoos book and the re-release or the dishonorable second edition. Yep. Don't know what he's got for us, but we'll find out soon. But... He's got some, I guess it's a manufacturing update isn So many great things coming in at HamishNerry.com so we should get into it. But we are racing, I guess, towards that, that's English and Arley. The bucket is filling up rapidly. A volume too. Volume two. Yeah. I mean, you would assume that all these ones that are getting read now since the publication of volume one are eligible for selection.

That's a good point. So the prime minister's 11, which will be volume two. But we'll also again, you would assume about 100. How of a power move though to make volume two only 99 moves, thus for awarding those that have volume one. And to move this is a power, I've got my own theory about this. We get a lot of urinal ones. Yeah.

You know, the classic one is if there's sort of five spots of the urinal, there's one person there, go and go next to them. Yeah. Or even just stand behind someone that you're waiting for there, particularly. That's right, we had to actually put pressure on them.

We had to queue up for the urinal. And that works more, I suppose, like, you know, let's say loosely, 20% of guys have stage Friday, you're an also, if you get lucky and it's someone that says stage fight, you'll have more power over them. This comes in from Dave Grimmer, who lists his country as New Zealander and he says, I've just got power moved. Just walked into a men's toilet with a urinal, Blake had his arms crossed while pissing.

It's been so intimidating in my life. He didn't skip a beat when I walked in either. So I'm so humbled. Now I think it is a power move because he was already like that. When Dave walked in, but I don't know. If we go... I think it's a power move. I think that you're just in awe of someone. You know, someone does something awesome. I don't go, it's not a power move, I think it's a power move. I think that you're just in awe of someone. You know, someone does something awesome. I don't go, it's not a power move on me. It's just like Archie. What a fellow.

Because the hand, the hand assist when you're at the urinal. I mean, I don't even know what we call it, the hand assist. I mean, the normal way you go to the urinal. It's not like it's an obscure move to use a hand. It's framing. Yeah. Because if you don't, you run a risk of a wet hand. Yes. So, I mean, the reason you have hands crossed, you could be looking at an IP, a very, very IP that can't move anywhere but straight

forward. You know what I mean? And a micro-peak. The micro-peak, yes. So suddenly... But I'm not saying you can't pull a power move with the micro-peak. Yeah. And I guess hand arms crossed is the move to pull. I don't know. It's an interesting one. Hey, this is from Hell Folks.

Hell. It's a slightly longer one, but definitely worth it, I reckon. Oh, boy, it's... Notice this one the other day, I'm on street. Good way to mess with your neighbours is to put out the wrong bin on bin night but be the first person to do it. Your neighbours will most likely use the model of bin that you're using because some of them have different gliding weeks.

Yeah, olds only with glass, recycle. Once enough of your street have put out their bins, change your bin for the correct one just before bin nighting. They'll all wonder why yours was collected in there. It's really good. It's a real good. Am I going like a forward foot? Yeah, I'm absolutely fine with it. This is from Maddox.

Yep, I know. School based power move. Am I like this because it's one of those lesses more. I think if you got greedy and went for a huge one here, it wouldn't be as effective. So a school dance power move in maths class, when the teacher isn't looking, go up to the whiteboard and change just one number

they've written. For example, change it three to a four. Then sit back down and after some time has passed, raise your hand and go, sorry, shouldn't that three be a 4? Or shouldn't that 4 be a 3? And I reckon the more subtle the change, the better. Because if you change it's like a million, they know someone's been messing with the board. And if you can now the teacher's style of 4, love it. After the power move.

Zoe, Ihoi to you, she writes, power move for you that works in corporate or recreational settings. Good to have. Whenever there's a shared elevator, and you step it and lift with someone and it's already in there, or someone that walks in with you. Just say, level four please. Immediately, makes them feel like they're a mere elevator attendant,

and makes you look like you're the one too busy to press button. And no one. No one's saying no. No, I'd love someone to have the president go, press it yourself. You're pressing people. But no one's doing that. And this comes from Caitlin. It was done to her.

An idea say, you wouldn't mind doing this to me one day. Okay. It was done to her and she was shell shocked. She was in a meeting. She had a pen none to her and she was shell-shocked. She was in a meeting. She had a pen and a hand and she was clicking it quite a lot. Yeah, click, click, click, click. We're out realising.

Just watch what she was thinking. Her friend next to her pulled the pen from her hand, sat it in front of her and loudly said, you can have it back when you can control yourself. LAUGHTER Ando, huge spike in internet activity over the week, globally. People are blogging there to their messages at hamishnee.com for the opening of the podcast. True, that is hugely labour intensive. But when people found a scrap of spare time, if they did, they were

flocking to only fans. Traditionally, a site used by any kind of creator, be your chef, be your poet, perhaps giving an inside and extra insight to your fans on how you like to create your palms. Sometimes be your model. Be you curvacious. And perhaps showing some of your more private curves. Where they end. Showing up most of the curve, let's say 97% of the curve on Instagram and keeping the 3% for a different site for a nominal fee. That is only fans. The's certainly gained a lot of traction that you'd save over the last couple of months. And I thought a wonderful place to do.

It's spot during COVID last year, apparently. Yeah, during lockdown. People the year for the extra 3% was a side of COVID. The people don't really realize. And again, could be the creative curve of the arc of crafting a poem, if you're a bush poet, there could be anything that you just are

reserving just for fans at that website. And you are in the game, you've got skin in the game, curve in the game. And you are on your only fans website, you'll be pleased to know it as the curator of it. I have taken the complete hassle and load away from you to manage this social pipe. I thought about this during the weeks. First of all, I don't, and you expect any, I've got some questions if some fans went

there. Have anyone gone? Many. You'll be pleased to know that within 24 hours of the beginning, You, my friend, you didn't break all the records, but you had over 32 fans. And that's within day one. And that number's been climbing. I've got to say, and again, I'm not putting pressure on you here because I'm not your boss, but I do rely on you to run the site. I do rely on content that I snap of you to give to your fans.

I was disappointed with those. I did think that was low. I was hoping to... 32 and 24 hours. I've been to a little harder than that. Some people have like 100,000 fans on there. Yes, but they're more curvaceous than me, him. But I just end the app. People areaceous than me, him. But I just end the app. It's roaring for you at the moment. People want to see their 3%. And I just

think people on the most part definitely want my 3% covered right up. You're wrong because the people know people aren't after DPs of you here. They're just after the real Andy. So they're happy. Trust me, the fans that we've got there and it is now dozens and dozens. What's the, what's, what have you put out? What is the content? Have you not subscribed? No, of course. I know there's a lot of ways of looking at extra revenue coming in. I encourage you to get in there and subscribe one month free trial. If you're not happy with it, it's just just snaps of you. What have you put up there? Some stuff that you know.

Have you seen the jet? It's very difficult to find. So, anyway, that brings me to my next thing. I was within the first four or five days. Did you get distracted Jack when you went on the surf for another curve? I didn't see too many chefs on the homepage or the poets or poets or house painters or you know any creative person that wants to show more so it launched soft they call it in the bits it's a soft soft air launch tonight hope and I look at me I'll be I know I'll be honest with you is

the first time I've used only fans and it was a rush to get it up in time. There was a problemo. What's that? So as you know, your only fans account is only Andy 24-7. That's your name, right? That's the user name of the account. I didn't realise this, but there's two different things on only fans. There's your URL, which is OnlyFans slash your name, and then you use a name. I, being a little bit of an, and I would take

full responsibility for this as the Chief Q-Rater, Chief Content Q-Rater of the site, I didn't realize that I needed to secure the URL, URL as well, which would have been only fans slash, forward slash only Andy 24, seven. Some other enterprising young upstart has got that URL. So the first few days of you're going to negotiate with them for the right thing, they don't, they seem to be more of a scoundrel unfortunately at this stage, which has led me to change. I had a bit of a cuff oil during the week. I've had to change the only for the address. That's what today is. This is what this is about.

This is a public announcement to say it is now, we now have both the username and the URL of official only Andy 2477. That's us. That's us. Don't go only Andy 2477. That guy's a thief and you can tell he's just using online generic photos. Hey, my my stuff is original. I'm

He's just using stuff. He's ripping off line. I've been some I'm not a photo of me. Well, yeah. Well, he's he's doing a fake account. He's trying to lure people in. That's why I'm saying go to official. Just remember this. Just change the name completely. Don't go, don't, don't, don't, don't, it's our name. You know what this reminds me of? Coffee and a jiffy. Yes. I'm the jiffy food van. Yeah. Hey, Mish and I had to do a live-readed participant for a, did remind me of the coffee and a jiffy food van, I think it was, no, sorry, the new company was coffee in a jiffy. No, no, it was a, and for a thing in Perth called the jiffy food van.

Yes. This is a radio ad, 30 seconds live read during the show. So the ad went from my memory, hey guys, just letting you know, the jiffy food van now has coffee. Yes. Delicious 100% aerobic abeans brewed beans, brewed for you early morning. Not to be confused. In the ad, they mentioned not to be confused

with coffee in a jiffy. They're a different van. They just sell coffee. The jiffy food van has coffee, has coffee. Right, so they ran an ad to clarify that they've got, they have coffee, but don't go to their competitor, coffee energy,

which is a better name and more coffee specific. And also, which is what your only fans thing is turning into. This is so easy. This is so easy to remember, because you just think I want the official one. But you're getting a official only Andy 24-7. You're going to keep saying only Andy 24-7 every time you start.

I know you're one. And then when you say, when you say it's the official only Andy 24-7, it sounds like it's the official space because only Andy 24-7. Very simple. I don't care, because I want this to follow. Very simple.

Very, very simple. Go to your web browser. Type in, HTT, P, very, very simple. Go to your web browser, type in HTTP, colon, slash. Oh, you got it. It is good. He's the only fan's.com forward slash. Yes. Official only Andy 247. That will bring up the real page there. You subscribe one month for free and you're starting these hot juicy content pies full of all the delicious Andy these. Is it on a, just on a bit where,

is it on for one month for free? Is there still a, like an auto renewal? People have to put their details in. I think you do. Please, if you go just, that's from the horse's mouth guys. If you go to it, just because you think it's a giggle, make sure you don't get stuck or turning it.

It's my point. Well, people make up their mind, man. It's good content. It's a buy, it's a steal. You thought it would be $5 a day. It's actually $5 a month. Anyway, just official only 24-7. I don't want anyone to go there, but if you are,

just remember your credit card, T-dails are in. Let's take this soft launch. Let's take this soft launch week as a learning experience. And starting today, we're launching hard. That is not what you want to say. It is. It is. Only fact. So we're launching hard. We are not. We'll be available. We. The full curve at the end experience. We are launching normally. A rock hard launch for Andy's only fans starting now. We throw down some more power moves. Plenty, half the emails at the moment at hane shane.com have been, when are you going to re-release volume one of the book? Yep, volume one, second edition, dishonorable second edition. We spoke to hogs, the publisher, in our first show back, he said he could promise

June but guaranteed July, which really, I can't remember what the issue was, wasn't it? We had to join along. We had to join along. You can't just call up these places and have them print a book. He listed a few things. Chinese New Year, which has had finished. Well, it's really finished. It's not said that you can use with Chinese New Year long holiday. Yes. Like it is only a weekend. And then he said, it takes a lot of head to print the paper and bind it as if everything was handcrafted Which we said no there's a machine and we had a giggle about that you can catch it in episode one to one And then you remember the conversation is a long queue and we said can we jump the queue anyway He joins us now because he called me during the week with some more news. What are you hogs?

Boys has gal good. Good hogs Thanks for coming in as we try and resolve these issues of the long queue and the scarce paper. I think was also... And also the Chinese New Year, yes it's a weekend in Australia, but in China, obviously it's, you know, they take a couple weeks off, like it's not just Australian rules over there. So it's a long time. How many weeks? They take two weeks. So actually, everyone actually leaves all the factories and goes back to their home cities. And it's actually a huge issue for them, all the factories because 70% of them decide not to come back. I'd have a good time at home. Yeah right. Or the chatting that they made at home going what's going on over where you were. Yeah right. I'm not going back there. Right so it holds up with

I. I hope we are getting our books printed at a factory that has a very high-customous worker satisfaction level and not only are they were coming back but they're bringing their friends from West Fund factories to come and work at the book factory. Yeah, so obviously that's all been and gone. Have you chatted to the book published over there? How did they go with employee retention? Well, I've got some great news. Yeah. I managed to skip the line.

You jumped the queue. So, we're on now. Hey, Hawks. Yeah. So, before you tell us the new date, did you do anything to get a head on the queue? No, so they just came and offered you a new time and now you're trying to present it like, alright, yes, you're the bouncer or something like that, look like you up or night back-tanneling through the Ukraine something, but really you just got a fortune at email. The first schedule was my guess. This schedule is an actual schedule.

Wow, now with actual schedule, okay. So Hawkes talk us through it. What's the new time that people at the books will arrive in Australia? Well,. Long promising first week of May, well, they'll all be dispatched out of the warehouse. Oh wow. They significantly set up. Five or six weeks away. Yeah. Hey, where's it gonna get through April

and then we're there. Yeah. So when Hawgs would normally, when you, some people do pre-os, we did way too early last time. Yeah. I reckon we should start now. Okay. Well, are people comfortable with five weeks away from dispatch?

So it'd be, it'd be arriving within six weeks if you're in Australia, wouldn't it? Yeah. But maybe we're just going to have a big, a red sign. I think we need a red sign. When we make, like, have a big red sign. I think we need a red sign. When we click, purchase. Yeah. Guys, we're promising first week of May Dispatch. And it has to be that verbatim.

And I think we need a red sign. I think the problem is the right color. Revis the right color here. It's a white, black and blue book. And we need a red sign. On the website, clearly saying, guys, we're promising first week of May Dispatch batch because we set it a lot on the podcast last time was very clear on the website but still in the excitement the detail

might have been skipped a bit and you do have people going where's that book I bought last financial year. It was $33 was the book first time round because we talked about the dishonorable second-run being a dollar more Just like tax on how to penalize those that didn't get in do we still stand by that? Or we'd like it to be the same. How is everyone feeling Jack? What do you think? I think you can afford to go a dollar more. Wow I don't know if it's a bad thing. Yeah, it's talked where do you sit? I mean is it it well? Well, I've got a couple of rules I want to put in place.

I may we should talk about them before. Rules to who? Us or the customer? The customers. I don't know if you get this, but... Yeah, okay. Customer rules. Customer rules.

We've got some real huge issues coming, because obviously we're getting a lot of orders. And so people are putting in their wrong address. The problem is that when in their wrong address, the problem is, is that when you choose your address, like when you write your address in, that the options come up and you click your address, but you've got the option to overwrite. So if there's no such address on the whole line. So to drop their menu or it's manual custom. Yeah. Arm suggesting that cut out the manual, it's if your address doesn't appear on the Australia post options, you're going to have to speak to your friend and get them to, yeah, I can

deliver there on the grid only on the grid on the grid. All recluses, yeah, reclucers, they can't have a permit. Yeah. Okay. What was the problem with the custom? Oh, because someone would write, I live in four Adelaide Street, Western Australia. You're right. And that could be a street that is in West Australia, but they actually meant South Australia and they just mucked it up.

Yeah. Or they'd spell the suburbing correctly and then they'd go, and I'd have to come in and go, oh shit, have they spelled incorrectly or have they just put the long post-coding? So I had to guess. Yeah, so that's... Well, you didn't guess, hopefully. You just manually looked it up and then...

It's cost-trty. It was costing you man hours. Oh, huge. Okay. Okay, okay. Okay, that it out. And it's cost-tronic if it was- It was costing you man-hours. Oh, huge. Okay. Okay, okay. Okay, that's fair. Any other customer rules? Well, we made, we were very generous in terms of,

there's a one shipping cost doesn't matter. If you've ordered 20 or one. People did like that. People did in there. Yeah, I took advantage. They did take advantage. Well, we left it on there. I'm happy to keep that rule. That's a fun sport

to keep in hubs. Only if we can change the international, the international is the killing us. But through COVID, we can't even get to these countries. So would an international address appear on that drop down manual? Or do they all have to be manual? That's a good point. I don't know. Okay. We'll look at that. And I mean, we can't we get in Australia and New Zealand. We can't cut off the international podcast as hogs. Hogs. How about? Is that a no go? I think international's are fine. They're the only ones that can do a manual over, if there isn't a drop down menu. So only manual over, right, for internationals.

Yep. And your company, not us, pays for the packaging and delivery internationally. That's a, I'm happy to settle on that. What about this? We put a red sign on the website, so it can't be missed. International orders, because there was a few delays in hassles with international orders. Look, hogs will pay the cost for international orders, but and it will give best endeavors.

But by ordering internationally, you forfeit your right to complain. So it's like, you know, we'll lose money on international books and we'll take that. Because people love the right to complain. We'll take that. But if it doesn't get there, you've just got to know Hogs Trotty's absolute best and you have waived the right to complain. Great. So that's a bloody big sign.

Yeah. We'll make it. But you've got to promise Hogs you do your absolute best to get those international orders there. Oh, one, I definitely wouldn't give my 100%. Yeah, it will make it. But you've got to promise Hulks you do you absolute best to get those international orders there Oh one I definitely Wouldn't give my 100% and Hawkes what was the the price of the book that we're gonna go in additional Do you how do you feel about the additional dollar for the for the late commas? I think we should I was willing to keep it there if all my rules came through but yeah, they haven't so

Okay, I don't think anyone's going to mind paying a $1 lateness tax. Yeah, knowing that we you're also freeing the bill for all the red ink and stuff on the website. So it is all is a leaving out. As of people listen to this now, we'll get it back up and it'll come out. It'll be dispatched first week of May.

Hawks, thanks for joining us, buddy. Okay. Cheers boys. Hit joining us, buddy. Okay. Cheers boys. Hit the website, everybody, if you wanted to. It's a hoax for you. Hopefully that message goes out, haymishnelly.com if you want to get yourself on the dishonorable second run.

Get it, this is your chance. If you miss the first run, great chance to get on the second run. I supposed to see footage of Hawks in his office and hearing his computer going, and I'm sorry, he's there. What have they done? What's happened? I supposed to say footage of a Hawkes in his office and hearing his computer going and he said, what have they done? What's happened? Hey, there's been so many special skills that have been submitted.

HamishNavity.com, if you want to be a very important podcast. It has been a bit of an influx, Andy. Almost to the point where over summer, when we were taking the government enforced, Austin's break. Sorry, I don't want to, I certainly don't want to kick the audience. I just want to get six months slapped on us this year.

There's been a lot of anti-government sentiment at times, so we don't really want to do that. We understand that they're doing what they can to protect the people. And they always have societies' best interests at heart, I'm just saying, as the person, is the host, the podcast host, as we cover it off on, that had to undergo the three-month of memory of not being able to jump on the mics. Sucked, and that sucked a jack.

He was able to come back early for radio, and he wasn't able to come back for podcasting. And it just goes to show. Government's not perfect. They allow radio broadcasts back under they wouldn't allow the podcast as on. Anyway, we're back. We're back, but the three months off, which did fly by,

Gapers. Gapers the opportunity. It made me realize that people's special skills are almost like stone fruits. They come out at summer and like the warmer weather. They do, don't they? They really do. They really do.

They just had an absolute bumper crop over summer. And that's why we're slowly working through them. And that's why we're trying to decide which one is to go with next. Ham, do you want to put someone forward? Love to. If I could. Young man, he's 21 years old. He stepped up.

His name is Nelson. Great. He joins us on the line now, I believe. Nelson Ahoy. Ahoy boys. Ahoy Nelson. I'm going to show him the gigantic penis. So much the Jeep is something I'm trying to well and truly take behind you, though, I just leave a physics reason. Well, you've got a chance if it is there. Well, you can put a behind you if you're good like turning around and Yeah, it's if it is there. Well, you can put a bind, you're good like turning around

and you know, it's a press. You don't stand near any coffee tables with precious vases on them. Oh, drinks that could spill on the bound moves, but because it's a nightmare. Thanks Nelson, a pressure to make, amtron move past it, we'll press on. Nelson, tell us through what is the special skill

that you want to submit. So for a few years I've known I've had this skill. So I grabbed a fruit bowl, something from the fruit bowl, where I'm a bit bored. And I just, the first time I did, I just threw it up, threw it up in the air, and I went, wow. Did you see how close that went to the roof? It just seemed like I touched the roof, and I thought,

this is crazy, I'll do it again. I grabbed a different fruit. Probably an orange or an apple, because they're in the top five. Yeah. Well, you do say now, so you say I can throw an orange or other similar fruit. So you like the spherical fruit. Yeah. I've told him to compare it to like a Olympics when they've got that specialty,

but they're obviously good at all swimming events. Oh, okay. They could take down a bit. Yeah. Yeah. Matt Horton, you know take down. That's right, yeah, yeah. Matt Horton, you know, World Champion, 400m Freestyle, could obviously do quite well breaststroke. Yes, yeah, I've got. At a district level, just not an Olympic level.

Well, Nelson, how close to the roof? That's with my key question. Yeah, okay. If you do say in your amount, here you go, we would say, wow, that was so close to the roof, but it never touched. Yeah. What do we think? Five centimetres? Yeah, I'd say. I reckon it was so close to the roof, but it never touched. What do we think? Five centimeters? Yeah, I'd say.

I reckon it's got to be much closer. You're going to like to say, wow, that's really it. You're going to be amazing. I'll say, I'll say wow within two and a half centimeters. Okay? Yeah, I think that's it. That's fair. We're saying two and a half centimeters from the roof.

Yep. We'd like to say, but go pro to the roof. Ideally here, I think, and she just won't know. And then if you get within that, I will say, well, I'm sure a home will as well. Of course I will. I mean, I think I am a little easier. I think history is shown on these special skills.

I'm a little, um, my barrier to wow is a little lesser. A little linear, but Andy has a tough, wow to unlock. And so if you unlock Andy's well, you know you would have already got mine. We're about to leave now. Um, Melbourne, so. Are you in Melbourne? OK, great.

This works. This works. OK, one specifically. OK, great. Well, well, a lot of older, like a more Edwardian houses around there, tougher with a sort of a slanted roof. I'm a single, have a flat roof for you. We'll get you in here under match conditions within the next few weeks and we will provide

the fruit. We would like us to provide the fruit bowl. Yes, please. That would be amazing. That would be amazing. Well, it wasn't easy. I had to get away out of you. I got some fruit.

We provided. Wow. Nelson, look forward to chatting with us. This is huge, mate. We're very excited about this. I love, I mean, because it's an all on nothing, a love of good all on nothing skill, because you know you touch that roof. It's all over.

It's all over. It's all over. And it's one throw. There's no sighters. Like, wouldn't you say, or do you think? Yeah, no, no, good, good, good. Yeah, it's so, I mean, you can go in the other room and practice for a bit, but as soon as you walk in our room, that's it, he's one throw.

I would think so. Yeah, I agree. One throw. Yeah, correct. Nelson, we'll see you soon. It's not all on nothing. It's an absolute all on nothing. How close did he go, but did he not touch it with the orange?

Who have you got to end? I know you wanted to put someone forth. Yes, Meredith joins us. Meredith, a hoi to you. A hoi to you. A hoi to boys. A hoi, Meredith. Meredith, I really want to throw something at you.

But not get, but as close as we can without hitting your roof. I'm going to read it out rather than you saying it, because I want to be really clear. You said no matter what disgusting smell you place under my nose, I will not flinch or react. Is that true? Well, um, is it okay if my eyes water?

Yes. Is that a reaction? I suppose that's an involuntary reaction, isn't it? So yeah, let's, let's go. It, we, you are allowed to react. First of all, I love this skill, but I guess it's about you controlling the controllables here. I mean, you can't control your eyes watering. That's just an unconscious reaction.

And maybe a person for lips just a little. Well, that's controllable. That's controllable. See, just keep that. Well, that's controllable. I'll just try it, but I, you have to give me the watering eyes. I will give you watering eyes. Nice, fine.

Involuntary body actions. Do you have, you obviously have a sense of smell. That was the first thing I wanted to check. I've got you like, you know. You covered from COVID and not, you've not had the smell like. This is not the silver line is it? You can smell things, can't you?

No. No, it's gonna get you. I was gonna get you. Good check, and oh, good check. I thought the way we would have been at it, if she lied to us now, the way we're gonna test is I thought we could have an essence, something that you don't know, like it's a color,

but you don't know what it smells like. And then you should know number five or something. Well, I was thinking more like a vanilla essence or pepinescence or something like that. So then we go, what's this? And if she can't say it in front of us, then we would have known she was lying. Yes, smell, smell qualifications, before you go to the smell Olympics.

What I was going to do, I was going to come in and I was going to suggest that we have a smell off and one of you would have to smell with me. Yes. I knew that I would react at all, but I thought it might be funny if you had to smell something. It is very funny. I mean, it is. I was in the end when you said I have a coin out, I would jump flink. I wouldn't take a coin to sell.

It's going to say, I mean, that here we go, second show of the year, and already we've been entrapped in a scam to jingle loose another coin. But also, a good news to anyone trying to scam us is that we are sharper. Yeah, we're sharper. Or you are. I didn't even think that she would be coming on just in something. I'm not worried that questions Andy would ask me. I wasn't worried about how much because I just thought how much will just be

wrapping up all these disgusting smells and thinking it's hilarious. But I thought I might not be able to get past Andy and I couldn't. I married us. We had in mind the most disgusting smell we've ever smelled, Hame. You know the one I'm thinking of? I didn't hang on a sec. Oh, it's in Australia? Yes. Yep, I know what you're thinking. Cos we're still some bad stuff. Like the Sustraman is what I was thinking of for a second that the Swedish fish, the people might have said on gap here, that fermented Swedish fish,

awful, but we even said on the day, and if I think, if I'm correct in what you're thinking about here, we set on the day that we set out, smell the sustre man. This is not as bad as the fox anal gland juice. Juice is the wrong word, the secretion. You're right. So I went and looked for the audio for when we first met a guy called Ben who was into trapping foxes. What year was that?

I reckon it was 2000 and 2008. And this was the worst thing about the Fox anal glands potion. Yeah. It drives foxes crazy. They love it. They love it. They love it. This is an punishment for the foxes. This is a treat. He's using it to lure them to the trap. He mixed them all together and boy was I surprised with the name that he had of his own Fox perfume.

That one is my favorite's called gusto. It's everything fox. So first of all, you take it at the bum hole, the anal glands, the bladder, turn it into a jam. That's what you got. Actually, number two. That's still number two. Give it a try.

I'll give it a spill of that one. That was bad. That's the old number two. Give it a try. Before I spill that one, just take the lead. Let's start with that. That is the most disgusting skull. Gusto. I cannot believe. But that gives you an idea. The most powerful thing on Earth is gusto,

whether it be in the smell realm or whether it just purely be in show performance. Meredith, I also have the bit where Hamish got some on him. I don't know. I can just get some on me. You sneered it on my upper lip and you jammed it into my nose. Where it stayed Andy for two weeks. It wasn't like an oily, it was like sardine oil. You know, like it just, you couldn't, no chemical in the world could remove it.

I remember going to the supermarket and getting like morning fresh and cleaning, trying to clean out my nose with morning fresh and it wouldn't get it out. You also drove across the country with the, with tea bags hanging below your nose as well as air frashes, the latest, anything that every time you sniffed

you'd just try to get something different. But this is the same. This is the moment whereavish copped it. This is my brand. But it gets you. It gets you. Ah! Ah!

What a police using Mace Law! No one would ever ride it again if he used this. Ah! Well, if you get it on your fingers, while you're seven traps, you can usually smell it on your lunch and your dinner for the next day or so. You'll have a good wash,

but there'll still be faint traces for about 24 hours. Oh, it was so long. It was just, it was ferocious. So Nelson, yes, Meredith, no. Well, I could say, though, what a great way to end the show. So Nelson yes, Meredith no. Well, I can say though, what a great way to end the show. Like well done Andy. I mean, my guard's up now.

I'll be honest with you. I probably was too excited coming back last week and I was excited to give him this week. And my guard's flipped. And you, with one question there, you saved us from, I remember last year the whole week. Oh, that really was.

The witcher, the rigmarole. You saved us about four hours of just a red tape. Yeah, and we hate red tape as a whole dish. We hate red tape as my worst, but absolutely my least favorite kind of tape. Including cellophane, where you can't find me in. Thanks, Meredith. Now, hurry.

Oh, good on you, Meredith. Thanks for your honesty. And I'll tell you what, we'll put the old Fox and Ugly and incident up at Hamish Netty. We just call them on our pipes. If you want to see how that went down between the two of us. It was a brutal day.

I actually don't really want to reflect them at the, because I wasn't the nicest of people. I just think it was one of those classic, you took it up a tune, you took it, that's what Fox is doing the wild, that's what Fox hunters are doing the wild. And so I can't be too upset. You were inspired. You were armed to take me down. Yeah, and then I bought a bazooka to what was not even a knife fighter. Well, if I remember correctly, let's put this up for this very reason, but I think we were talking to him about the traps and in that classic, certainly early days, Hey, Mshandee.

Okay, we've got a Fox trap, clamps them very hard. Let's put it on one of our bombs, and I guess it was on my bomb, but did you sneak up and put it on my bomb? I don't remember voluntarily presenting my bomb, but I do remember the fox trap being on my bomb. It was, it was, it was, it became a fight as to who was going to try and get gassed on each other. Yeah. And then you started it.

I was like worried. So then I, I then flicked it into your mouth and nose while you were in pain. That's everything you brought there. Then you fox trapped me after the fight was over. So it was, yeah, it was, it was a fight in the change rooms really. Like post the UFC. It was awesome. And then yeah, you got the fox trap on my bum

And that's when I really went of the two weapons we've been talking about today One is the fox anal jam and the others a fox trap both have been deployed on me It's a score of 2-0. I have no more weapons like we're at a train station from memory Yeah, I could have pushed you on the train But it would have been extreme. It would have been a desperate man stinking with a sore ass to scratch like for some sort of revenge. But now it was a solid it. Solentennial. Solentennial for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.