Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2021 Ep 157

Episode Date: November 10, 2021

1. The new Power Moves book & strong coffee tables 2. Lachlan the Barcode Bandit – Special Skill 3. When Hamish turns 40 4. Song Sleuth apology 

A list-naf production. Activate your internet. Cos the Hamish and the podcast starts in 3, 2. Sorry, still buffering. 1. A whole way to be Helmsman Hamish. Keep it tight. Talking about the gym ropes there.

Yeah, it's right. Ahoi to be trimmer. Oh, I'll slug in a row. Slug in a row, mate. You are responsible for supervising the sales trim. Yes, I was just about to do that. Slug in a row, mate, because we're about to tack. Yes, I was just about to do that. You're just... Well, slacken it out, mate, because we're about to tack. Yes, I know there's a lot of sailing terms.

Also, him, a Hoi to... Well, another sailing term. Oh, Ellie. Also, him, a Hoi to Ellie. Hoi boys, Melly from Barcelona. And I have to say, I used to be very much fast and loose but I have seen converted to neat and practical and really once you try you just can't come back. Although I am not really at and is OCD level.

Also regarding Guston, I assume it's the Spanish word for taste. And in that case, it is definitely pronounced Gusto. So though it's right, him is wrong, what a shocker. I don't even know where to begin. We are obviously not assessing each week our levels of Spanish taste. We're not doing a quick gusto, Jack. How are you? Oh, I'm at Chariso.

Really, I'm at full service. No one's doing Spanish taste tests. It's gusto, gusto, the definition being thrust or emotional on. I mean, I'm making that up, but you are welcome to use it, Websters. What does Webster have gusto? It has.

And I distract the people while I'm... Certainly will. I want to thank that one coming in from Basteleon. And we also... Look, we're growing internationally. I think we're good. And we do have a patty. Yep, thank you.

Gusto. Gusto, brackets. Definitely gusto, not gusto. Enjoying an enthusiasm in doing something. Yeah. Yeah, and, you know, inversely, lack of. Yeah. And I think that's what we detect sometimes, Jack,

with the lack of gusto. Well, it's just for me. Any one on the tank would be like in gusto. From day to day. One does it more than others. Anyway, let's move on, because it's got a very, very important day to day, him. I've handed Jack a very important piece of music that I think sums up the day.

The panther of the common man. Yes. Because the song we look forward to playing with. Yes. We sent many by boat. We sent one by plane. The power move both volume two has arrived. I have to put it down.

It's that heavy. Yeah, okay. And I just saw you. I saw one of your forearm tendon snap. The quality of paper is incredible. It's obviously got a spot UV front. You'll see that glowing jacket. I can see the shimmer.

Yeah, but a matte jacket. Jamie's jacket, yeah, Jackie's so confused right now because he's brain is trying to process him. It's like the blue dress, gold dress. Yeah, it's the way we're breaking. Jack's brain's going, how can something be so matte? You'd also have a shame. Yes, that's the spot UV finish, Jacko.

I took it out of its purpose-built bespoke Corrigate card tube casing that it comes in that you can keep and reuse. That's yours. It's part of the deal. That's yours to keep. It makes a great gift by itself. Perhaps you'd like to buy the power moves for you in the two book for yourself for Christmas and give the container to a close relative if you've drawn the main Chris King Cringle and explain to them how good quality the container

is. The core, the corrugate tube. Yeah. If you can't read, still worth more. You'll be able to now. Are you still with? I trust you now, hard. We were going to go. We were going to exaggerations.

You can't read. I just feel like, it's just sitting there hard. We were going to go, we were going to exaggerations. You can't read, swear to God, pick this thing up. Something happens to you and you'll be able to read. I'm going to say, I'd love to get, I'd love to get people emailing and testimonials of that they thought they couldn't read and they picked the book up and that'd be in the most read. That'd be good for some kind of advertising.

The other thing, him is, if you can't read, just for the touch and feel of the paper. You abide as a tactile piece. You would. A lot of people are writing for the haptic experience of holding something with that much heft. A lot of people were writing in emails asking whether Jack will be signing any emails asking whether Jack will be signing any this time round. And will the answer's no? Because is it though? Well, it's not the big ask.

We know, but I just, I think I, I know, I've got a big ask of Jack because international borders are reopening very soon, I have reopened. I didn't think you would have forgotten about that, but I thought there was a one chance that you had. So I'm certain you're not. I'll add Jack, all Andy forgotten about that, but I thought there was a one-pitchet and chance that you had, so I'm certain. Are you annoyed? Oh, Jack, all Andy talks about probably is the big artist.

Is it? Yeah. I'm going to use it wisely. But there will be a signature page, or there is a signature page in the book. There is. So. So, and we encourage people to collect all signatures.

There's a space for Hamish, for myself, for Jack. And we've left the space for Beyonce. It reads in the book that we'd encourage people to have their book on them at all times. Have it on you. Yeah, for example, if you see Beyonce in the serial section at Woolworths, and you don't have your book on,

you'd be kicking it off. You'd be kicking it off, because you won't be able to sign it. Collect all the signatures like Pokemon, collect them all. And Mike has told me obviously Beyonce is the rare signature to collect. So in the most evolutions I'd say to you Jack. Yep. So in Pokemon theme, she'd be noibat flying a dragon type from Calos. I have to take your word for it. I only know the original 150.

Oh, gee. Interesting. People can go to hemishini.com to get the pre-order now. They'll be out there. They'll be on a straight and saw shores in about three weeks time. Just looking at boat tracker. Very soon. I got a quick question for you.

Yeah. Famously attempted to sign a thousand books, probably got close to 700. I did a few, you know. Amazing. Amazing effect. Could it take you longer than you thought? When you committed to a thousand.

Yeah, excellent. Yeah. Here's my question for you. I just think it would be a nice gesture for the people that hope that didn't get one. First time I got there, so many people wanted a jack post sign book. Yep.

And you've got to remember when Jack signed it, that's also personally signed off on by me and Andy. Yes. So we've all been involved in the process there. Jack's doing the signing, we're doing the signing off on that. Yep. I just think it'll be a lovely gesture for you to give another thousand people a shot. I think it's time to share it around. I'd hate to

hog all the signing glory. Do you think Beyonce should do? I think you guys should. Oh sorry, we're already we're signing off on it. Yeah, but you can actually sign so. No, we're signed off on it. That will be too much for us to do otherwise if we're signing it all I'll sign off on you guys signing them we've already signed off on you. Tony Cindy just flying around yeah snake's eating so tail here we just need to yeah bring it back we should point out though and this was signed off on by Hamish and I the first person to collect signatures from Hamish anti-Jack and Beyonce and as hard proof that they are real signatures, you got yourself an eight coin coin. Well done.

To that person. Absolutely. So, all right. I think some should be signed. I think it would be a nice gesture to do some signings. So do I. I am happy to sign a few because I have to go to the warehouse. I said I'd help hogs. I'm more than happy to personally sign. I'll fund Jack doing some as well. So we're about signing some stickers, Jack, and we can just stick him in.

I can... Yeah, 500. I don't want to. I don't want it. I don't want it. I just want to do it. I just want to do it. I just want to do it. I can't fight the honesty. Okay, so, obviously, yeah, hamishayn.com, buy the book.

Paramount's book, you can absolutely get it. Yeah. There will not be signed by Jake,. It's a very good reason. I don't want to this time. Maybe next year. I mean, she uses not to. Hey, one other thing that we feel bad about that we really have to tackle

is we're bored out a hefty book without consulting furniture makers across the country. The industry. And it's world as to whether their coffee tables are strong enough to withhold it. Do you know what we should do? Fine, let's call a... I reckon we pick just any furniture store around. Jack, you got one? Got one in the end of the year.

Oh, I got one. Yeah, because I reckon what we want to sort of say to people is, A, you know, we've got this on the way. This thing's coming, so bringing in forced tables. Yeah, and just B, do you have the table that can handle it? Yep. Coffee tables, do you have a coffee table that can handle it? And we didn't encourage them to put a sticker on coffee tables that they've been given to handle it.

Yeah. Power moves ready. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, great. Okay, Jack, here we go. Who are we calling? This is early settler Bella Ratt. Welcome to early settler, helping to make your house a home. Please select from one of our following menu options.

Coffee tables. Here are trading hours. Press one. No. For our stall location, press two. To speak to one of our team members, press three. That's right, Jacko. Oh, yeah. To speak to one of our team members, press three. Three Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jackass Jack tables. Sure. Do you guys sell coffee tables? We certainly do. Okay, I have, I'm expecting a coffee table book soon. That's very heavy. Do you have a particular model of coffee table

you'd say is the best for weight bearing? Look, all of our coffee tables are fantastic. Is there a certain size or after, a certain style? It's more about knowing that it can handle the book. I think so. Okay, so Dandy here as well. I expect in the first place. There's more of a courtesy call, isn't it, really? We're trying a bit courteous,

and we're also letting you know that you're going to get a lot of customers coming in that have a broken their old table and be the strongest on the market for the new table. Continue breaking coffee tables, that's what I say. I got a quick question for you, Lise. Are a lot of your coffee tables the standard four legs set up, one leg in each corner?

Yeah, they are. Yeah. Do you sell a fifth leg that you can insert into the middle? Or even just a sort of a telescopic brace that you'll put in the middle of the copy table to support the weak spot in the middle of the coffee table. I could probably damage a coffee table and take the leg off it and then we could use others to support. I'm just saying, yeah, there's not a bad idea.

If you have spare legs, I reckon a good front window does fly. I would have a stack of spare legs at the back. This is what I reckon we do. Let's go. I reckon a good front window would be you buy a few copies of the book, which is PowerMove Volume 2. Put them in the front window, say people go,

oh, that's the book I've got, that keeps crushing the table. Yeah. Then you have a bunch of spare legs in the window. you go, yes, we sell fifth legs for coffee tables To reinforce the weak spot on your coffee table and you will sell extra legs That's a brilliant idea. Will you will you do that? We don't want to have to follow it up with a verbal warning if we find out you haven't done it. I don't want to get fired. I don't want to follow you.

Thank you, Michele, do it, Flissa. We're going to check back in. Yeah, we're checking back in sort of closer to Christmas to see if you've done the window display. Beautiful. I'll send you a photo. Thank you, Flix. Hi. Hi, Flix. Hey, you guys still on the fifth leg? Yeah, I've just got the book. I know. Thank you. Thank you. Bye. Bye, Flakes.

Hey, are you guys selling the fifth legs? No, I've just got the book. I've got it on the floor at the moment. I dare and put it on the table till I get my fifth leg installed. And we've missed this opportunity, but next time, if we do another one, we're selling it. We're selling it. We're selling it. We're selling it.

We know the free gift with purchase we're doing for volume three, don't we? Maybe then you'll sign one, Jack. Hey, and people can go to www.hamishney.com and fill out the valued and important podcast of form. Tell us a bit more about themselves and being more part of the show. Special skills is one that we hone in on. If you think you've got a skill that is not properly recognized by the wider community,

we recognize that here give you a chance to win a coin. Lockland has done exactly that. He writes, can tell you the exact location of the barcode from any product at the supermarket. Coles is preferred. Okay, great. So he is obviously, he scans a lot. He must be a scanner.

Find out. He joins us now. Lockland, or who do you? I'm a Hamish Jack, and of course the birthday boy Andy. How are we? No need. It's like he chops. No need.

No need. I know. What do you obviously scan a lot? Yeah, I do click and collect at calls. Right. At what stage? Because for people like ourselves, we do scanning, but obviously self-check out or Jack,

you make the noise with your mouth. And that's what the... No, no, no. He's a super baroque-going bugger. Obviously. When he doesn't do that, he doesn't make the noise of his mouth. It doesn't, it doesn't, it's the midi. It's quite weird. He hides the Baroqueo behind the Helgors, and it puts them both in the container at once, and then pretends it's malfunctioning when it detects a higher weight.

So we know Jack's tricks, but for most of, when we're scanning, you do, you know, you obviously are searching around a lot for which side of the barcodes on. There would have been a point in your career lock where you went, hang on a sec, my hands seem to just instinctively know where the barcode is now. How many months into your career did that happen? Well, I've only been working there for less than six months, but I guess it's just a one in six jans most of the time, isn't it? Well, there's six most of the things that have a roughly cubic shape. So I'm hoping that you can tell us specifics here because you say, you know, the exact location.

What we've got, you today, Lockland is, we've got five items. You need to get four out of five and tell us exactly where it is. So it might be say the back bottom right or whatever it might be, that's what I'm gonna hear from you. Baroque, under the ingredients. So I think, are you ready to go Lockwood? Yeah, but just before we started,

I just needed to ask you something Andy, when you went and bought items for this segment you didn't snake him, you're weekly shopping and you got any signals to do. Lockwood? Um, question. Very, where were the barcode on a pack of Pena Jax in round 100 speed? I mean, Andy can tell you that one. Lockwood?

speed. I mean, Andy can tell you that one. Locked when he read 40s. Locked a nice job, but as if I went to the supermarket, and he got his... I thought you got a little bit of it for you, didn't you? We got Mike. We got Mike to do it here, and I suspect he's bought items that he needs for his home. I mean, I would like, and let's pretend to take these ourselves and see the slight tensing of Mike as he goes, do you definitely need all those items? Lockland, are you ready?

Yeah, ready to go. Let's show him into it. Coat it means he's gonna be a star Coat, sorry If blocland can locate the ball Coat we're gonna coin you Yeah! Really good That wasn't Jack was it?

I played the guitar Or so I'm making the beeping noise now Oh, I'm making it Now, Jack is a jack Jack is pockets Oh, yes And 10 energised at double lays.

It was Jack. Starting with a softball here, buddy. It is a value pack of wheat bicks. Value pack of wheat bicks. All right. Okay, now this one's interest ones. Visualise it. Yes, because I don't actually know where this one is.

That is interesting. I'm quite a bit impregnant. So, yeah, I'm going to have to say it's on the bottom, on the right hand side. He's got it. What an instinct. What an instinct is that where it is for a lot of things? Oh, actually, there's two of them.

No? It's the bottom on the left hand side. I was holding it the wrong way. Which is the pendant. What's that it doesn't have? It does depend on which he looking at it, but I'm going to go with it. It's going to be a line. It's going to be a line.

It's up. OK. That's true. And it is aligned with the print of the Weepix on the front. You know, I mean, that's the left hand side. Yeah. Sorry for side of the ball. Sorry for giving you the pulse wind. You wouldn't even, you wouldn't personally care

about barcode numbers being up or down, would you like to hear because you don't when you're scanning. No, that works the same. Often, it's still a die for you now. Yeah. Glad wrap. 60 meters of it. 60 meters.

All right, so this one's on the back, on the right hand side. It's on the left, isn't it? It's left. Oh, but are the numbers upside down now? They are, they're going on the right. He's got it. He's got it. He's got it.

It's interesting though, it's interesting. Yeah, because then eventually it has to flip, because it right becomes left the more he's been up round. So it's a bad point to block. It hasn't followed the same rules as we picked. Didn't follow the same rules as we picked. So you don't have to do different companies.

So if I was just to rotate the box to see the back, suddenly the numbers around upside down. Yeah, that's right. At some point you do have to flip. You just can't be right. They expect you, just for people at home, they expect you to walk like you're swiveling a rolling pin, walk the glad wrap back,

because then suddenly you see it upright. They would have discussed that as to what side they go. Oh mate, have you been in offices? The things that get discussed. The days that you lose of your life just discussing things and other things that would have been discussed. Um, Locklin, one from two. Yes. Good luck with this next one. It looks like Mike might be cooking some polonade. He's certainly the biggest level of all he can get. It's that most of you obviously, you're going to have weepings of records

and make a big salad and glad wrapper for lunch with olive oil. A morrow traditional olive oil for everyday cooking. It's the one liter. Okay, so I can picture this one in my head, visualising, so it's on the back of the left hand side. It's not on the back, my friend. No, I didn't have the sun on the side. I've gone for a three-side label. Interesting.

So it seems like the only winner today is Mike. He's winning himself the cloud wrap the wheat fix, the olive oil and the Ferrero chips. Mike's got a date. He's got it today. Mike, pop in here quickly. Who are you going to eat the Ferrero chips with you, big? Will you be sharing those Ferreros? Is there a girl in mind that you think you might forget the Ferreros? Cheers, Mike. I actually thought we could, after this,

we could have them as a team outside. I thought it was like a team building thing. That's nice. And a shot of olive oil. And then we all wrap ourselves in glad wrap. Lockland, bad luck. Never tell anyone that you can do that again. Yeah, it's a shame.

I think it actually might be a bit of a supply chain issue. Uh, different shots maybe. No, no, all for goals. But I don't think it's right. I think it's a supply chain. Maybe even a bit like this, the saltana brand debacle, the few, uh,

episodes are going through hell. Star changes. I think they're pretty, they're pretty stagnant, though, with where they put their barcodes and are afraid. Big loss for you. Big wing of from Mike.

Thanks very much for joining us, buddy. No worries. Have a good one, guys. I'm going to look. I'd like that he came prepared, A, to burn you. And B, with some excuses at the end. Ando. I am approaching a magical time in a young man's life. Not at your age. Well, still in my 30s. Well, you're right, Ando. I'm about to bust out of my late min 30. Well, you're right, Andy.

I'm about to bust out of my Chrysler's. I went in a caterpillar fat caterpillar in these 30s. I'm about to emerge a young, young butterfly in these 40s. Mm-hmm. About to cross that threshold. Yeah, you've crossed that you've crossed it. Loved it.

Yeah. Jack, you're a moment away. No idea how old Jack is still. I still think you know, like a thumbnail, like Mr. Tumness, the center. How old is Mr. Tumness in Nana? 700 years old? 15 years old?

We don't know. I keep thinking, I always look at you Jack, as like late 20s. Like that's, yeah. So how old are you? That's how I feel. That's how I feel. That's how I feel.

I'm 33. Oh. Well, you're about to have a kid, so you're about to look like you're 50. So, it's, it's coming. That's coming. Already the gray hair is sneaking in. Yeah. And this, I'll give you a little, give you a little, Jack.

I want you to let, we should have guessed. Would that have been your guess? And you're easy in his 30s. But he's the only one. You were the only 15 years and you had to be older than 50. So it was 12. We basically would have classified terrible timing. Unlike you timing for you, Jacko, because I always look back and go, we became friends

with you about one month after you invited us to your 21st. Because it was, because remember you invited us to his 21st and we're like, oh, probably not mate. Well, this is a funny point. So we were 28. We would have been 28. But you told me to my face, you didn't say no, probably not.

You said, yes, I'll be there. So then I told all my friends, hey, Hamshan, you come about 21st. And then you both had individual excuses as to why you couldn't tell me. Yeah, Andy's was you were going a little better than my you were you went for is a Friday night. You went for life the rest of the day me and my friends and I had a going away for this weekend and we leave on Saturday morning. Oh, we leave. We leave on Friday night. So I couldn't have gone either way. I sound like I've got a double excuse. I actually would have thought you'd do better than that.

I know I now think I'm in with a chance to have had a better experience. Can you remember that? James was definitely yours. Andy's been looking back on it, was rehearsed and he thought I'd better come up with a good excuse here. I can tell you thought of yours in a moment because yours is more like, ah yes, my mum and my girlfriend are coming over for dinner

and they haven't seen each other. It was something really flimsy like that. I remember that, actually it was a pretty special dinner. It wasn't even so, it was the girlfriend before so. One of the time I didn't know know. I wasn't going to text you, go down my mom and my girlfriend are coming up for dinner. Don't worry. Don't worry. I won't marry this one. No, I do. Jack, I better marry this one. Give me that guarantee. You can get out of my 21st birthday. All right, know you better and I'm never thinking, I would actually go to his 21st. Yeah, that would have been a lot of fun.

So he sort of just missed it by a matter of weeks. Yeah. And then we're laughing and laughing and ending because like I'm actually scared of travel. It was like, I don't have a girlfriend. You know, reveal. They were big lies. Anyway, Jack, so you are a bit younger than us.

But what I was going to say was when you have your baby, you know, you get all those beautiful photos in the first sort of few days, they're tiny shirts off You'll look back on them now, then like seven years later. And you'll always think as the dad, God, thick, colorful hair. Look at that thick, colorful hair. Before and all here. Those little, gorgeous little hands reached up and just run the thickness and color out of your head. So enjoy whatever you have.

What you've got now is just as luscious and as thick and colorful as she'll ever be. Well, for the next five months, maybe I won't go a haircut and just get it as big and much as I'm sure we can. Get the biggest mullet back in the baby. And make sure, Jaco, that while you're holding this beautiful baby, encourage the photographer just to go up a little bit and capture the thick luscious hair. And yeah, if you're on an iPhone or something,

you just turn up the saturation or something. So it's like quite a lot darker. But yeah, you should actually get a ferocious mullet. And then when the baby gets hold of you, that was actually very normal at the time. Yeah, for people to have haircuts. Anyway, sorry, we degress. Come into my 40s then. You know that this is a that I've about to cross this threshold and I've long promised something. Yeah. Jack, do you know that he's promised

be something when he hits the 40? No. What kind of thing? A present? Yeah, yeah, it is. It's been a gift to is. It is a bit of a gift to me. It is a bit of a gift to me and to Ando and to... I would love it. I would love him to do this. How long has it been in the making? When did you promise it? 40 years.

All right. I would say, are we just under two years ago, you said? I began to really start looking at you think about your own mortality. I'm going to spend the rest of my life. And it's part of that question. I've always said, at 40, I'll take up golf. That's the time. Oh, wow.

That's the time after so many years of people in it. Oh, no. Where does that leave me? If you guys actually start enjoying conversation about golf. It leaves you. I'm not there. I'm not there for it. Not there yet. It leaves you where it left me when you guys actually start enjoying conversation about golf, it leaves you. I'm not there yet. It leaves you were left me when you guys started talking about Pokemon. That's true. We can all pursue diverse interests here, Jack.

And you're more than welcome to run a one man teasing campaign. Wouldn't be the first time it's happened on the show. If you need to bring in backup, you know, you know how to control the buttons. Yeah, I'm not going to the buttons. Yeah, we're making a choice. Doesn't like golf. Anyway, I'm not there yet. I've just been earmarked as someone that can be radicalised and can get into the game. But there's a bit of a groundswell, Jack, because often when I play golf with it, with it,

anyone, you know, my mate to know now, my schoolmate, we're close mates at home, but they'll go, oh, it's home play golf. It's that one thing that always gets asked. And I always go, Bonds a lot of people. Guys, it's taking it up when he hits 40. Oh, when's he 40, actually, later this year? So there is this.

The chrysalis is cracking. And you're going to play properly, home, not like that funny golf we made up when we all played together where you hit it and you can catch it with your hand and piff and then it falls. Yes, in your lens. One day on a day off shooting.

Yeah, gap here. Yes, no, we. One down a day off shooting a gap here. Yes, no, we're not going to play funny golf and we're going to do real golf. I'll take the box when I go to play around. One round of real golf, please. When Hamish, hopefully at some point has to play with the captain. Oh, yeah.

OK, now on that, Jack, this is where I'm not on the golf team yet. So I thought it would be a nice surprise for me to come on the show today when we were gonna talk about this. And a couple of days ago I went, wouldn't it be amazing if I could turn up for the podcast and go, Andy, I'm not just getting into golf. I've got a become a member.

And I looked, so I started looking at memberships. And there's a thing called a five-day membership and a seven day membership which confused me at first because I was like, I thought people played all the time. Yeah. I thought this was like at the gym, like a three day pass at the gym or something. I thought maybe you could play five times a year or seven times a year, like that was the max. But Andy will tell you, it's a Monday for Friday membership. Off peak. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you can't go sat down and say,

no, which are obviously heavy golf days. Mm-hmm. So I got my hit around that. And then I saw the joining fee. Oh. Mama me. Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

And he Lee. Yeah. What is going on with the heecher? They hit you with the old money vacuum. That, it's so much money, I can't even say it. No, you have to say it. No, you have a guess. Okay, well, tell me how premium you go.

No, just have a guess. So for an hour. What ever you say it will be higher. so your joining fees one off or a yearly no you go to that's a one You can really you can really start a lot. Okay, but he really sub probably ranges between two and a half to five and a half Okay, thousand we're talking So the joining fee is obviously more than that because you're shocked so like 50,000? No. No, but you're not far off for some of these courses. Well, I mean, you know, it's

I started cruising around. It's in the tens of thousands. Yeah, okay. I forget which wrecked a bit, but sorry about that. No, no, no, no, it's like it's a it's a brand new car. Yeah, it's it's in most courses in Victoria. It's a little different in New South Wales, because you know, it's already starting. Like, or actually, etc, etc. But the it'll be about between eight and 20,000. Yeah, I mean, it's it's with food. So I'm not going to the show a proud new member. I mean my hat flew off.

What was I was like, and this is the bit it's like suddenly, and if you've been repaying this all along, I mean, we're just the one off joining for you. I mean, I don't know, but I have multiple member at different clubs. I do you enjoy enjoying it. I want to be a pretty close buddy. I eat meat. It also comes down to the popularity of said course and when... I do enjoy enjoying. I want to propose that. I eat meat.

It also comes down to the popularity of said course. And when... Sure, is there one out in the... Well, when I joined the wine club, it was three and a half thousand dollar joining free fee. Right. And now it's 14 now. So I feel like I'm ahead of the element.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm back. I'm going to a studio. I mean, it turns private. I know this has got a boring golf chat, but the Americans laugh at us because their joining fees are always $50,000 plus. If you're in LA, for instance, it's $150,000 plus. Oh, man.

How can you be sure that, okay, you want to join the club and how can you be sure that you're going to keep going with that hobby? Because you started to keep some insights that hobby? That's what I've been saying. Yeah, I know. This is where I started getting, this is where I went, well, okay, hands off the keyboard. It's not a buy now, there's not a buy now, but just in case I accidentally touched it. So that's when I backed up and I went, okay, let's give this a year. I'll start playing golf, but there's no need.

I do like to come in at the very top of a sport, totally fine to come in and buy the absolute best equipment available, not coming in as a member for at least a year. And I, G Wiz, I better love the hell out of this game, because that's, you know, I could even imagine getting excited about a membership yet, maybe because I'm not into it. And you can't normally, normally the thing that trips you up before you're like, okay, I've never had more than a kilometer in my life.

But now you've seen these sneakers that are like $300 and you get so excited about the running because you want to buy these shoes. I didn't even get that buzz looking at those membership, I just kind of felt a bit sick looking at that price. But I guess I'll get into it. I guess I'll get into it. He is, so I took me to the point. I think I've got to be more excited about this before I decided to join a membership because I didn't get to a club.

And what do you get? But you just get to play all the time. Yeah, so you don't pay to play. I mean, there might be a hat. It might be a hat involved. You sense there's a key ring or something. But how often do you have to play to actually make money? 50,000 times a year.

For it to be a better deal in the end. I don't think it's for that. No, you know, you know, Jack, this isn't like getting a coffee card or something just to go. The more I come, the more I say. Yeah, like becoming a member at the movies when I work there, if you went to four movies a year, you already made your money back.

You've not like that. No, no, no, no, it's not a value. There's no value proposition to this. No, you know when you drive past golf and you go, gee, it looks like a lot of rich old people. I wonder if that's a coincidence. Not a coincidence. Not a coincidence at all.

Yeah. So here's where I think I can get more excited. Okay. The gear side of things. Yes. Now, I know we've made on this show, we've sort of suspected. Yes. And from time to time that you mentioned a brand name, Taylor Maid, you mentioned Taylor Maid affair bit. We suspect that there's some sort of deal flowing between you and Taylor made. I deplore that. I think to just get the gear and then retrospectively say, Taylor made, Taylor made, Taylor made, is a deceitful act. Yep. And I thought I'd make up my own mind on which brands I would like to pursue in the golfing world without having to, you know, serve an overlord that I've already done

some sort of deal with. There's no deal. As it turns out, I've independently decided Taylor made that. It's just it's... I'm going to have to have a fair time for your peanut butter. So I've independently decided the tailor made looks good. Looks the best in fact. I think it's the best, yeah. I think they look wonderful.

I don't know me. Poor old me, I wouldn't know, because I don't know any of them. Really, you don't. Not a single stick. Wow. Well, I wonder if you have the number of someone I could talk to you. I mean, you're interested in purchasing or whatever deal they could offer. I mean, I'm very happy to pay, but perhaps I could talk to the guy you know at Taylor

Made. What position does he hold? For people who cannot see me, I'm winking. And I'm just very excited. I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm put anyone out, but she had love to experience the quality and performance of Taylor made. As you've discussed it, I've decided of my own volition. I would like to experience that before the weekend if possible. Hey, not often we're embroiled in a scandal and it's me that brought this scandal to the show. I'll defend you to the day I die.

You may have seen it on... I was all worth defending. I'd tell you as a friend. I'd... I'd tell you as a friend. Save ourselves, Jack. Come with me to this escape pod. I would say... Beardboy is forever.

Flea, flea. You would have seen it come in on your side of the fence for the emails, there was so many of them. A lot of degeneration messages to me after my song sleuth, where we discuss the rogue traders, doing a trade with Olivia Roggeri is for a hawk trading rogue fashion.

Yes, this is the Rogue Trader song. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ We know it. Mmm. Then I played a live-years song, which was this. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Yeah. We're like, okay, we've got to...

We pinned them down, we had a laugh. Yeah. From my memory, mostly we were laughing about wondering what the traitor's... Traided. Yeah, traitor I'm from my memory mostly were laughing about wondering what the Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's

Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader Sometimes that happens doesn't it? Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's

Sometimes that happens doesn't it? Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader's Trader like this. It can. I mean sometimes you hear a song and you realize that you know the sample, you can trace it all the way back to Adam and Eve sometimes it's a song that Adam played. This one goes back to Elvis Costello and here's a song called Pump It Up. That's it, that's it. So it's a shameful day, I've done the wrong thing, I've tried to pin it on Olivia Rodriguez and I wanted to use this opportunity for an apology. Of course, because they both, I guess they both were trading, roguely. Yes, yep.

Well, they might, we're probably trading, they could have been trading the official channels. You know, do they pay of us, do we know? Well, it wasn't listed where I looked, but anyway, I just want to move on from the whole thing. I'd written an apology to read for you guys, but it feels like someone has stolen my apology. I'm not sure if you remember there was a deal of a liberal politician in Victoria who tried to drive home three times the legal limit just recently and drove his five-day old Jaguar through the fence and into a house of a lovely family.

I did read about that. Yep. Made National News very big though in Victoria. I was shocked the other day when he got up to apologize. It was exactly what I was gonna say. Apology slug. Oh my God. Literally, it was exactly what I was gonna say.

So rather than me just read out what he said, I've got it for you here. But just imagine if you could, my response to mucking up the song's loop, these are the words I've got to say. But in the voice and words of another man. Well, here he's doing it. He's doing it. He's doing it.

He's doing it. And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and about. I've had to just adapt, I think, two little bits, but the rest sits nicely. But yeah, imagine this as me because... Yeah, it's no point doing it again. Because it might not have been, yep. I just wanted to begin by expressing my enormous humiliation. Yeah. And that's the deepest apologies to my family.

To all those who I've left down, I sincerely regret my actions. I undertake that I'll never ever do it again. Are you going to reside as a song slew? I won't be resigning for song slew thing, and I'll be spending the next couple of weeks reflecting on my career and my life. This is the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. Some of the most stupid decisions I've ever made. If I could go back and change it all, I absolutely wouldn't. You can't do that obviously, but again, I just

apologise for fusing to my family and to everyone who I've let down through what has worth to see in my life and whercing that's ever happened And I... Yeah. Bit annoyed that you didn't specifically apologize to me in J. Your family?

For dragging us into it. I mean, you'd apologize to your family first, but then you didn't... apologize to me in Jay. Your family? For dragging us into it. I mean, you'd apologize to your family first, but then you didn't. You're my family, guys. Thanks, man. Yeah, but don't you reckon, Jayga would've been nice to go, you know. Obviously, Jack and Hame, they're innocent bystanders when I'm spraying around this machine

and the accusations. That's true. And, you know, to the outside world, looks like we're all in the foxhole together. It was Andy Manning the machine of accusations as he was spraying liberally around. Yeah, that's true. I'll add that now. What a big hand I'm going on back in.

Was there a chance going on in the background? Yeah, I don't think they were saying Elvis Costello or whatever. It's in the background. Hey, Elvis Costello, he wrote the hook. He wrote the hook. I think that's what it was. I think it was, hey, write the hook. Listen up.