Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 162

Episode Date: March 9, 2022

1. Chemist Warehouse ad 2. Harry’s gluten-free special skill 3. Kennel cough 4. A special skill challenger 5. Vale Shane Warne ...

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 A list-nuff production. Activate your internet. Cos the Hey Mission and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. A hoi to me, pilot, heinish. Coming into Lancers, permission, granted, I assume. Ahoi can be breakman. Yes, Jack.
Starting point is 00:00:31 Oh, put him on when necessary, not yet. Okay, only when we want to stop. I am. I must fly fast and loose. Do you know what? I'm not slitting. Are we bobsledders? He's got it.
Starting point is 00:00:41 He's Jack. I'm a pusher. Sure are. So I'm on the side just basically, I push and then I just hold on. Yep, hey, you're very much in charge on the way down. Up front and Jack, we need you very much at the end. And what does the fourth guy do? Is one there just to be two pushers.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Two pushers. You have two pushers behind the back. Yep, for you, Jesser. That's the normal... And sorry, Mike, that we say, and not for one second where you can see that But that is that you want the left hand side of the right hand side for pushing the bobs that he left Yeah, okay, that's fine. I can work it right great That's good. Yeah, I was actually thinking if he's called on I think I'd prefer the right but yeah, I
Starting point is 00:01:22 I'm the guy in the bathtub in think I'd prefer the right. But I'm the guy in the bathtub in cool runnings, yelling out the corners. And you have your, you're the only one that looks up. We're all head down and you're the only one that looks up and sees what's going. That's good. Also, Hoy to Matt, who's just telling you
Starting point is 00:01:38 the very easy system at Hamishin' Deckcom to let us know he's up to. Hoi boys, fellow Hoi Boi mat here. Now, Lads, I've got a little bit of a dilemma. I'm not sure whether I need to have my in touch with the common man shirt on or lost touch with the common man shirt. I've just taken delivery of my brand new golf simulator.
Starting point is 00:02:02 I know, must be very nice. Wow. But because I am a golf simulator, I know, must be very nice. Wow. But because I am a golf professional, I can claim it on tax, which is very common man. So... Not really. I need help with my social account. Cheers. I mean, Andy claimed it on tax too.
Starting point is 00:02:16 Even when we were broadcasting from his golf simulator and I was gently questioning whether this was a common man purchase, he was thundering me, mouthing the words tax deduction tax deduction. Now we've mentioned it on air. I think just golf sims in general. Yeah, lots of. And less the lost. I'm sure there's a lot of professionals that still go to the range. Sorry, Matt.
Starting point is 00:02:38 Yeah. You are in my care. I'm very, very, very hard. I'm struggling here to think of a situation where a golf simulator owning one could be an in touch with the common man scenario if you were, you know, if you had a small, if you moved out of your bedroom and rented a golf simulator,
Starting point is 00:02:55 see he'd give the money to charity, maybe, and you never played it yourself. Like maybe that's the one condition. Or you owned the shop and you lived there to save money. We've done the shop. Yeah. Yep. Yep. And you only had the base.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Naturally, send the base. Yes. Yep. Yep. And you played in BFE. Hey, man. You were to kick us off today. Look, I know the summer user has come and gone.
Starting point is 00:03:20 And I wasn't going to bring this up. And then I saw this again the other day, and I thought, okay, I've got to mention this, and then we can move past it. Because I'd like to think that one of the jobs of the show is nitpicking in a constructive way, drawing, putting a magnifying glass on some of the ads that we have to sit through on television. Look at all the feature of last year's show, do you know, do we pick a knit on any of those?
Starting point is 00:03:47 I was happy to, I was actually happy to move past it. And then this ad just keeps getting at me and I thought, look, if you're going to keep presenting knits, I will pick. Yeah, good. It's just sort of like sort of like you know how gorillas pick knits out of each other's back. It's almost like a one gorilla's gone,
Starting point is 00:04:01 you know what, there's other things to do. I'm going to enjoy the jungle. I mean, it's in bananas. It doesn't matter about myths. So many myths in this situation, you have to go back to nitpicking as a one-off. And I had to pick here because there were, you know, one time,
Starting point is 00:04:17 they've been a very close friend of the show, Chemist Warehouse, home of Andy Bayhamish. Yeah. You know, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very,. You know, very hard to selling fragrance of all time. That's right. Ever in the history of Australian fragrances. I appreciate their help.
Starting point is 00:04:30 I appreciate their help shift in a lot of scent. But it shows though that no matter who you are, you're not immune to a... Yeah, we'll get you. So if you're doing the wrong thing, what are they done here? We see a nitpool picket. This is, you might remember this had played a ton during the cricket over the summer, but I think it played in a lot, a lot of things.
Starting point is 00:04:48 That's just where I saw it a lot. It is for a thing called Wagner Liquid G-Zic, which is like a pain reliever. I'll play a little bit of the start of the, see if this jokes your memory. It's just audio. When you're used to being first, you don't wanna headache leaving a feeling second best.
Starting point is 00:05:04 Yeah, do you remember this one? So, yeah. That's the tactic they've gone with. That's really important. It's all about you're used to being first, so you don't want a headache making you second best. And it's a race between two women who live next door to each other. Do you remember this one?
Starting point is 00:05:18 They're playing like giant chess in the opening ad, right? My whole problem with the ad is they've constructed this world with these women of racing each other. And then at the end, it's like a race to the tablets in the chemist warehouse. But none of the races make sense. None of the things they're competing with each other makes sense. The opening scene is then playing giant chess in the backyard. Okay. Now, the blonde lady is the winner. And she's always like, she's a bit smug, and she's playing a brunette lady. So the blonde, in the opening scene,
Starting point is 00:05:52 she pushes over the other lady's king. So the first of all, not all out. But it's meant to show you that they're competitive. So the ad makers have gone, how do we make it look like they're competitive? The next scene is the brunette woman mowing the lawn and looking like nervously sideways. Cut to the blonde lady's backyard, she's breaststroking up the pool, like she's looking sideways right and Brunette lady's looking sideways left. It's a race between the lawn mower and breaststroke.
Starting point is 00:06:23 Which is the worst race of all time. First of all, you can't even begin to describe why that is a bad race. Yes. The lawn mower's performing a circular pattern. So I don't know what this drag race is meant to entail. Breaststroke is obviously a lot slower than lawn mowing any way.
Starting point is 00:06:40 Yes. During the breaststroke, you know, the blonde woman who I think is in front, you meant to believe she's just killing it, but a small headache has made her bow out to two meters from the end for this super competitive woman. Then it shows the chemist. It shows you like the isle at chemist warehouse,
Starting point is 00:06:59 where the brunette lady is like strolling up an aisle to come around the corner, and they're at the end of the aisle, the tablets. And who should zoom in? But one maybe. She's back. But she's not back yet because she hasn't had the pill.
Starting point is 00:07:14 She hasn't been to the condition. She zooms in and gets the pills smuggly and zooms off. Like to go, ha ha, I've beat you again, but I'm like, but you haven't, because you haven't taken the pills yet. So we're sparring to be the blonde woman in the ads. I think we are. I think that's what they're saying. I think they're saying when you're used to being first best, don't let a headache slow you down.
Starting point is 00:07:37 So I think we're meant to be rooting for the blonde lady to go, oh no, it's got a headache during the Lord plastic breaststroke race. The Lord plastic breaststroke race. How will she get of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past.
Starting point is 00:07:49 The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past.
Starting point is 00:07:57 The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. The law and plastic of the past. they have this like two second shot of a massive chemist warehouse at the end of like a cul-de-sac.
Starting point is 00:08:08 So it's like, yeah, have you seen that, Jacob? Kids are like flocking to it, like family's are running to it. It's mentioned, people are acting like it's a Mr. Whippy fan. And it stretches off the screen. It's on every chemist warehouse ad, and it is a really, it is a bizarre choice to go, isn't this the dream? That instead of a park, wouldn't you love a 25,000 square meter camera's warehouse at the end of your court?
Starting point is 00:08:37 Cause these people have got it, I'm gonna have you there. Okay. And another year, another batch of men and women standing above the crowd going me. I have a skill. I can throw fruit near the roof. What if I could tell what size shoes people have just by sight? Yeah. The special skills that we get on the show are phenomenal.
Starting point is 00:09:04 How you mean we.com, you've got to feel at the very important podcast to form. shoes people have just by sight. Yeah. The special skills that we get on the show are phenomenal. How you mean we.com, you've got to feel at the very important podcast to form, easy to find there, and then a few questions in there as well as what is your special skill we love hearing them. Yeah, I ran into the other day at the pub. Ben from Ninja Warrior, who did the sheets? Oh, the sheets in one go. He can figure he couldn't do it on the day, but he could throw a sheet. He's been known to. He's been known in one go. He can see where he couldn't do it on the day,
Starting point is 00:09:25 but he could throw it. He's been known to. He's been known to do it. I thought I could do him. In one go, perfectly, on a bed. And you know who, you spent New mentioned the fruit. I was on the freeway and going to a hundred and get a lot of tooth, some aggressive toothy
Starting point is 00:09:39 could I look across and there's a guy giving me the thumbs up and I went, oh, thumbs up back. And then he he goes it's me pointing at his face Me I think we know I of course not it's not right. I'm driving the car then mind throwing an orange into a No, that's a very difficult mind Especially the hundred he went like that very
Starting point is 00:10:03 I went oh Yes, it's like, yes, it's me. And it was the kid that couldn't throw, turns out, could throw an orange very fast into the roof. And not throw it within a centimeter of the ceiling without it touching. But anyway, not throw it, not throw it, quote, so close to the roof you'll be amazed
Starting point is 00:10:21 without touching it. No, that's what happened to me at the pub. We're having a beer and I notice something flipping over my head and I look up at the roof of the roof, you'll be amazed without touching it. No, that's what happened to me at the pub. We're having a beer and I noticed something flipping over my head and I look up at the roof of the pub and it's been from Ninja Warrior, who turns out he was on Ninja Warrior as well, flipping over my head, miming to me, sheet and melting it. It's me. I was like, what is this?
Starting point is 00:10:40 It's a ninja. And it was, yeah, it was bent. Okay, so today in that category, in the realm, this is a very interesting skill. And when I tell you, when I tell people the skill, you'll be like, okay, is he using it for an elephant here, good or evil? We've got Harry here who can accurately tell.
Starting point is 00:10:59 He was doved in by, sit or put forward by a sister Kate. He can tell if something is gluten free by looking at it. Now a lot of people would think that's because he has a gluten intolerance, but he's using this because the people around him have a gluten intolerance and he does not like biting into something without gluten. He has a gluten dependence or certainly a gluten preference. Oh, right. His name is Harry, he joins us now, oh, hi Harry.
Starting point is 00:11:24 Hi boys, and how about the Andy? No need. Thank you. or certainly gluten preference. Oh, right. His name is Harry. He joins us now, or Hoi Harry. Hoi boys, and how about the Andy? No need. Thank you. Harry could you get one away? Harry, talk us through. You can just see the food. You know if there's gluten or not.
Starting point is 00:11:33 Yeah, well, obviously my dad and sister became gluten free, pretty recently. So I had to sort of dodge the minefield that was my kitchen with regards to what was gluten free and what wasn't. You want that gluten? Yeah, I want it bad. You don't know what it does.
Starting point is 00:11:52 Sounds like it. Well, just tune in. This is the game show. Glutenfest. I want it, I want it bad. Because it can be a bit of a, I mean, they do their they do their best to gluten free people, but when you're talking about pizza bases, when you're talking about pasta, it's an important ingredient gluten.
Starting point is 00:12:10 It's what makes, it's what binds things and it's what gives them their delicious texture. And tries you might, you just can't get there with rice and potato flour, can you, Harry? No, definitely not. Like biting into something that you don't know is gluten free is almost like biting into a raisin cookie that you think is chocolate chip.
Starting point is 00:12:28 Yeah. Because not the right thing. You think of it better in our case. Well, Harry. So, to be clear here, we are going to show you, and we wanted to really do the test. So, it wasn't smell related or anything. We wanted to do it via Zoom. And you said you're comfortable seeing the product.
Starting point is 00:12:43 Yeah. Outside of it's wrapping. it's just raw product, and you'll be able to tell us whether it's good and free or not. We've got four products standing by. I love this, Harry. And it's also you, you, you, you said in your email, it's based on vibe, and it's based on sight.
Starting point is 00:12:57 Well, you assist us in the email. So we, we can get those, we can get both those things here. We've got Mike, podcast Mike is going to hold up. He's on Zoom. Harry, you're in front of his room now? He's on it. Yeah, yeah, I'm with you. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:10 Okay, well, let's, I think he has to get 4 from 4 here, because it is a 50-50 guess. You're right. Yeah, so 4 from 4. Chances are getting 4 from 4, you know, that's tough. Yeah. That's good. That's special. All right, good luck, Harry. Gluten free, gluten free, gluten free.
Starting point is 00:13:46 Harry knows from the texture, if it's gluten-e, or gluten free. Songfits, doesn't it, Harry? Does. Yeah, I mean, it's probably used that song 500 times and you don't know it, no? But when something fits like that, you can't shy away from it.
Starting point is 00:14:05 Okay, you just have to step up and go, God damn it, I think it's let it be again. Ha ha ha. All right, Harry. Here goes Merrow Mike, podcast Mike, he's holding up the first item, which is a meat pie. Okay, take it in. Have a look. What are you vibing? What's the vibe? You said it's
Starting point is 00:14:26 all vibing. Can I get him to break it open? Of course I can. Absolutely. That's how we know about the texture. Hold it nice and close to the camera Mike so you can see because I think I know what Harry's doing here and he's looking for the structural integrity of the pastry which is going to be one of the giveaways. Mike has cut open the pie and is showing Harry. It does look very puffed. It looks very puffed, which is rare in a gluten free pie. What sort of pastry do you see in a gluten free? What sort of characteristics do you see in a gluten free?
Starting point is 00:14:59 It's not only flat or like that, it just looks the vibe just real. And that looks pretty yummy. I'm not going to lie, that looks pretty yummy. So, I'm going to have to ask you to lock something in. OK, Mike, can you make sure you tear a bit of the base of the pie too? Because tops of pie is going to be deceiving. We've all got to pivot up, we've all got to pivot up. We've all got to pivot up had a good top and a disappointing base. That's true, Mike's doing that right now.
Starting point is 00:15:23 OK, I'm going to lock in, it looks normal, it's doing that right now. Okay, I'm gonna lock you in. It looks normal, it's not good and free, alright? It's a normal pie. Unfortunately, that is a gluten free pie. Oh! They've got you, Harry. No, no, the scientists are trying to trick people. Out there walking around and eating less gluten
Starting point is 00:15:44 as bastards have got you. Okay. I mean, we move on to one for fun. What else have we got? Well, I've got a cookie. We've got a cereal, which are the clusters. We've also got a pene pasta. Which one would you like?
Starting point is 00:15:58 We're going to give you the choice to look at. I feel like the pasta will be easier, but give me the cookie. Okay. Okay. In fact, for fun, why don't we just put them all out in a tray together? That is fun. That's great fun. That's great fun. Mike, do you have a tray?
Starting point is 00:16:14 We're just doing it for fun. Oh boy, do I have the word to describe the zone tonight when she goes ahead of the record? Go. Well, glad you asked, because I was very was very fun you're not gonna believe what we did why'd you put a when you put a biscuit on a tray what no why you way up multiple food multiple next to each other for fun Mike has lined up everything okay here we go rattle strong I'm gonna say the pasta is gluten free. The cookie is normal and the cereal is gluten free.
Starting point is 00:16:51 Unfortunately for you, the cereal contains gluten. So you're wrong there. The pasta contains gluten. You're wrong there. The cookie does contain gluten. So you got one It was fun for us to see all those things together who can certainly put a photo up at the website if you feel like having some fun But look honestly, this smell is normally what what helps me Don't write then don't write
Starting point is 00:17:24 Don't write, don't write, don't write, sit alone based on violence. You're setting up remotely just so you, because you need to be in the zone. But Harry, I do agree with you, often in the tearing of something, you tear the pastry or you tear the, when you tear the pen A, straight away you'll go, that's gluten free, crumbles.
Starting point is 00:17:39 Well, tear up your hopes and dreams, you're getting a gore coin, yeah, we'll send you out of token and no value. As I personally are giving no value to whatsoever. Hearing up the note, I'll check. Thank you, Alex. Good try.
Starting point is 00:17:51 Awesome taste, guys. Hey, I'm just following up on something from last week. You talk about tiny tricks. Tiny tricks. Just some good tricks. Little tricks. Just some good tricks. Little tricks. And it really has got me going through the life, looking for little tricks that I can share as well. I mean, this is the, yeah, claiming there was a bag in my car when it got stolen. There was no bag, but do you have been some mythical items that must have
Starting point is 00:18:19 been in the bag that got pinched? I think I've mentioned this before in the pod, but that got pinched. I think I've mentioned this before in the pod, but one of the downsides of having a dog is that everyone with a dog or has ever owned a dog comes up to you and wants to talk to you about the dog and feels that they should share. Even if they had a dog growing up 40 years ago, they'll tell me exactly what that dog was about and what they did and it was this type and I don't care. And we got this one, I'm happy with it. But I do it. It's amazing. I feel like it's an absolute another language
Starting point is 00:18:52 because I've never owned a dog and the way you hear dog people talk to each other. Oh, it's like a big sign on my head saying, please come and tell me everything about your dog and I don't. I don't want it. And you wouldn't do it for any other product, either. Like you don't.
Starting point is 00:19:04 But I didn't see someone walking with a printer and go oh Was it what's that a brother as yours? A piece of shit. Yeah, my business shit. Yeah, my high-preenders. Yeah, let's match them together Actually, Andy does talk about his print and more than the average man that he loves that printer He's got and I does strike up conversations when he's dragging his printed down to cheeky monkey for coffee He already lives Oh to Dan to cheeky monkey for coffee. You already lived? Oh, you got the laser. Oh, thank you.
Starting point is 00:19:26 And I do have does chew the pain sometimes. What was it, you look back at? It's a healing episode. It's a mungrel. Anyway, so all people are the worst. They've got only time in their hands and they've had dogs in their life. So they've got a bigot chance of having a dog in their life. It's a little help.
Starting point is 00:19:45 I help you if it reminds them of one of their dogs. I had the other day outside of Coles. Was way too busy. Because Henry, whilst he hasn't achieved, she hasn't achieved, she's not quite yet one kilometer tall as promised. She's growing too. Does look a bit like the, you know, she's a veteria braid, isn't she? So like not the chum dog, but similar.
Starting point is 00:20:04 They are small veterias. I've got a tall veteria. She would stomp on them. Found a trick during the week. I'm walking up and I see someone approaching with their dog and they're from ages away home, they give it the art. I was like, oh great, now we can come and they can chat the dogs and sniff each other
Starting point is 00:20:23 and then we get to chat. And I pick up Henry and I just yell, Kenyl Koff, I'm really saying Kenyl Koff. That's a thing. That's a dog disease. The dog thing where it's really contagious. So if any dogs go to like the kennels or whatever or in the park, they get Kenyl Koff and they're sick. So it's like a daycare bug. Yeah. And here in the dog parents walk the other way. They never avoid you, yeah. Raybees. So yeah, Henry said,
Starting point is 00:20:54 I mean, I thought you could hear another bell. He's pretty much, that's a great one. I thought you were gonna, he's one you could do, which is a variation of one with a, I, this is a sort of a well-known parenting hack when your key is absolutely losing it. You look at everyone else in the cafe and be like, I'm just the nanny, I don't know. It's sort of that's like an old, that's enough, that's a bit of an old tribe, you know. It was like, oh, Jack, when you're, you know,
Starting point is 00:21:19 when, if things go kicking off and this will start happening when you start visiting cafes, it's like, I don't know, there's kid, you know. Or you know, this is just an FU, don't worry about this. I didn't raise it like this. But you could, you've got to, surely you can be like, I'm the dog walker. Like not my dog. No, I still talk. But you're still gonna chat here.
Starting point is 00:21:35 I still talk here. Yeah, right. And I just feel like I'm a dog walker. What if you got, what if you guys just found this dog? I know, nothing about dogs, but I can't. I'm looking for the owner, sorry. I'm done looking for the owner. I need a ride. I'm looking for the owner, sorry, I'm done, I'm looking for the owner. I need a ride. I'm looking for the owner.
Starting point is 00:21:48 Yeah, that's what you do. Yeah. That's what you do. Yeah. Ando, special skill time. This is a rare one. This is a personal request, or, you know, didn't come through the contact form at hamishnames.com, which is where we do recommend people go to log their special skills.
Starting point is 00:22:05 Yes. For reasons that will become clear, it came late at night. After a few red wines had been drunk as admitted. One at one nine hundred number that Hamish has only fans. So it was an only fans DM and you can pay a little extra to video chat me. And that's what happened here. It'll make sense why a few red wines were drunk because Melbourne demons, AFL player, Angus Brasior, midfield or Winger, Deluxe, Winger. Premiership player.
Starting point is 00:22:36 Also a member of Football League. A straight football league, the big one. He went to the big dance and he took over the chocolates. He also runs the very popular and he took over the chocolates. He also runs the very popular Gus and Gawney podcast. So podcasting brethren, really. He texted me and he said, listen, and this is probably not. No, I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I have heard of it, but I haven't listened to it. That's okay. I've heard of a Ferrari or a not driven one. So quite a popular brand.
Starting point is 00:23:06 He texted and said, look, I know this is probably not the way it's done. And I'm not doing this in the right channels, but I have an amazing special skill. Ooh, I was like, okay, that's good marketing. So we get our right back. I like it. Athlete at the top of their game. What have I got? What have I got?
Starting point is 00:23:19 All right, back and I go, obviously no promises because, yeah, this is highly unorthodox. And I should, I should, I should, it has hang up right now because I don't know if I'm breaking the rules of the show, but what have you got? Love it. Then he goes, listen, I can pour perfectly even glasses of wine, even if they're in different rooms, like out of a bottle of red wine, I can pour wine in one room. So, exactly the same level as the other. And I'm sitting there going, we've had this.
Starting point is 00:23:46 We've done this. We've got it failed. Well, we had, I just wanted to clarify with you, two questions I've got here. What was that guy, a special skill? Was it that was it going on? We set him at different rooms, you've just got to,
Starting point is 00:23:58 they've all got to be the same ones. We can walk into a different room and pour the same amount. And if all the wine glasses meet back up in the middle. And I think we gave him five meals didn't we, that guy? Five millimetres. I think it's only a meal difference. He was pretty confident coming into it and I think we only gave him a meal.
Starting point is 00:24:17 One millimetre is very little, isn't it? It's almost imperceptible. Five, five, five, a little more. Yeah, I can't really. Anyway, all I remember is that he immediately had failed. Remember we stacked the first classes together and they were just way... You were being kind to him. You were holding the rule on an angle.
Starting point is 00:24:32 That's right. Trying every trick of the book to try and get him across the line, but it just wasn't. It wasn't there, wasn't it? So straight away, go ahead. Okay, I don't get the impression that he knows we've had this. Well, Jack hasn't listened to his podcast, he may not have listened to us. And that's okay.
Starting point is 00:24:48 And there's a lot of podcasts out there. People are busy. So I am like, look at, then I said, you know, look, it's got our attention. Yeah. I'll obviously take a Twando. Then he just sends for a picture of, he goes, these were knowing each other, separate rooms,
Starting point is 00:25:02 he goes, and I've had a few, and they were dead on. I've done a lot of things. I'd obviously someone do it. So then I go, do we've never reopened the cold case? Is there some excitement here? And do we believe he can do it? Because as an elite athlete, he does clearly have hand-eye coordination.
Starting point is 00:25:21 Like that is the skill you need to play football. It certainly helps that he's a premiership football player, like to respark my interest, like to reopen one. If anyone, that's what I think, to everyone can crack it, you have to come to the table with some sort of pedigree. It's not very common man of me, but I am enticed by the fact that, you know,
Starting point is 00:25:40 it's almost a celebrity special. No, I feel like that is common man of you, because if you're above the common man, you wouldn't care about celebrities. The common man loves celebrities. That's true. A lot of people watched SAS Australia, the celebrity version, but they did not watch
Starting point is 00:25:53 the civilian version as a fan of both formats. I prefer the regular version. Really? Well, the UK version, how it started without, so we think, we do great. We're into, we're doing Australian celebrity special skills here. Do we allow it to happen? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:26:12 Great. Because we, oh, sorry, I was going to say we've got him on one. Do we? We've got him on hold. Oh, he wasn't listening to that. Okay, bring him up, Jacko. Okay. You can hear you now.
Starting point is 00:26:21 Thank you, Spray. Sure. Ahoi, welcome to the home machine, any podcast. Ahoi, gentlemen. Ahoi, welcome to the Hamish and any podcast. Ahoi, gentlemen. Ahoi. Thanks for having me. Pleasure. And we all love the Gassengorny podcast in here.
Starting point is 00:26:31 Oh, that's good to hear. I wasn't sure how it would have been received. You know, rival podcasts at all. No, no. No, no. A rising tide rises, lifts all boats. You know, the more people out there listening to podcasts, Jack's certainly indicated awareness of the podcast, which was a great result. Now, Gus, I feel lucky here because
Starting point is 00:26:53 I've seen photographic evidence of your red wine skill, but Ferrandi and Jack, can you, I mean, you're going to have to give this is like a job interview here. Can you outline the skill and the level to which your laser-like precision can operate? It's spooky. I first of all want to apologise if I'm lacking gusto. I just missed it on winning a boat. Here's the team. Golf Day. Cotary Golf Day. I've missed it the whole in one hole by that of foot. So it would have been captain, Brasior. It's not's not like gust of wind. So if I'm a bit flat, that's why. It's okay. Fresh off a boat loss. We understand. It was actually
Starting point is 00:27:32 weird because I was saying, hey, you know, how you guys always say a hoi. And this is my first time on your podcast. And if I've won a boat and am now Captain Brasior, literally about your turn on, that would have been a genuine of a two-some-one standing on their freshly one fishing boat on the trail. So, Gasi, talk us through it. What is the skill in your mind? The skill is laser precision
Starting point is 00:27:56 and it applies specifically in this context to pouring red wine into wine glasses of various shapes and sizes, but always to the same, if you put a spirit level across it, the spirit level bubble would be snacking in the middle. Of course, the same altitude. The line, the surface of the wine is the same altitude from the other. Yes, not necessarily the same volume because different people would drink out of different glasses.
Starting point is 00:28:25 If that's interesting, that's what they're into. Like, you know, in person, glass. And someone had a wider glass. There would be in the your pouring system would be they would be, that's the that's the cheat code when you come around some of my place to have a walk. I'm going to go a short stemmed wide wide wide wide. Off and and I will before getting through the door you'll open up your case with the glass selection and often just pick a Stein.
Starting point is 00:28:55 A Stein is a good one. Yeah, it's a starically known for one drink. It's a tree code. So Angus the reason why this was interesting for us is we've had something very similar, not exactly the same, but on the podcast, and the gentleman failed in front of his children. Yep. Well, we don't generally try and bring loved ones
Starting point is 00:29:19 into increased the shame, but that's just sort of how it happened, then. Yes, oh, that's devastating. of how it happened. That's devastating. I think we'd absolutely be prepared. First time. Firstly, in amongst heavy training to go the devil, the back-to-back apprenticeships for the days, if we could find a window to set this up again and give him a crack. Because we'd love to see the attraction for us here is you are somebody that trains
Starting point is 00:29:47 regularly with hand-like coordination, being able to pick things, just judge things with your eyes as a huge part of your actual job. Very real. Yeah, it's just a touch of fuel thing for me. You know, play football and there's a talent there, sure, but this is the talent extends beyond that. And this is the talent extends beyond that and this is where I really come into my own so it's the real use. This is the real use. You weren't even the top 10 in the Brown and the Metal. Like this is you would be the Brown
Starting point is 00:30:12 and the Metalist in this field. Yes I know and that excites me so I'm willing to shift a few things around. That's the thing we want to end. Where's Angus? So you're taking the series, season zero-se, he is pouring wine for perfect level. That counts as training, all all out. I'm going to have to be in touch with you because the already is app, but we'll organize this for future weeks. Ando, we're doing one glass, two glasses.
Starting point is 00:30:37 Do we want to actually exploit how outrageous the talent is and have something like a yard glass next to you? No, I don't want him to be like, there's not many people that bring a yard glass round to the cat room. So it's just keeping many natural environment. But yes, you, you, you, Jack and I, it's like, you bring glass home from home. So we know it's not the same thing.
Starting point is 00:30:56 And then three, just, is that all right? That's fine as well. And then just to be clear, Gus, is it possible for us to be in three separate rooms? And then we meet back and see it. Or do you need to be there and see them all at the same time? Well, historically it's just been a casual pouring out wine and everyone gets a fair sort
Starting point is 00:31:12 of share. But yeah, I mean, I'm, as long as I'm there, we'd one of you at the time pouring, so that I'm in that environment then. So we'll put the same room then, let's go this, because it's a bit of a slide, if we're the same room, but the different ends of the table. Yeah, yeah, the table ends. Yeah, that's what then we meet back in the middle. And do you really do it around the table? I mean, I imagine the moment you realize this there would have been a you know, you've poured out a bottle of wine and before everyone goes to cheers, was it
Starting point is 00:31:39 the cheers that everyone noticed? That was really similar. It's about the second poor people start looking and then a bit of momentum starts building and then By the time I've poured my own last job, you'll leave poor yourself last That's just common courtesy. Um, there's like a audible buzz at the table and then everyone starts measuring and and then sure He's done it again. How's he? We'll regret that. We'll regret that. That's right. There's no balls. And there's too much chat to either get the wine in the mouth We pour it out. We don't drink it. Yeah, that's the best. Make sure you put it back in the bottle.
Starting point is 00:32:10 We'll see you soon. Cheers, buddy. Cheers, buddy. Cheers, buddy. Hame, wrap up the show this week. It's been a sad week for everyone in Australia and globally because Shane Maughan obviously legend on the cricket field. The people of our American podcast is he's probably the Michael Jordan of cricket for us. Tiger Woods if you're into golf cricket. He's called Michael Jordan rolled into Babe Ruth. Yeah. He's a very Babe Ruth.
Starting point is 00:32:42 Very Babe Ruth because he was of an era where it was like you're the absolute best. Best is ever been. You don't necessarily have to train to an elite level five days a week. And you still manage to be the very very best that there ever was. He was brilliant at playing cricket. So we grew up watching him and then he's post cricketing life was just hilarious in the meat area. He tried his own tonight show at one point, called Warnie. We just had a crack at everything. We had a crack at everything and we loved having him on the show. And so we've gone back through and seen him. We hadn't had him so many times. We're not going to play it off you, but we wanted to pick out a couple to have a look back at Shane Warn and his relationship
Starting point is 00:33:23 with the Hamish Nadi show, hey, let's start with one of the first ones. I think it's 2006 where we have a dog called Fred Bassett, a greyhound that we bought on behalf of the people. We were so excited to race Fred. And the plan was taking him around the country. People came out to greyhound tracks, sleepy greyhound tracks that maybe got 10 people a night with getting thousands of people to come out and see Fred race.
Starting point is 00:33:45 It perhaps went to Fred's head. He's gone from small time to suddenly now, thousands of people watching him, and he'd stumbled about his first race. He lost his first race. Lost his first race. So we got Warney on. Who else, who can help him here? Who's been at the absolute pinnacle of their game?
Starting point is 00:34:02 And also, Warney's first game was a terrible game. You got carried all over the park. So he wanted some advice from Shane Warren, the greatest cricketer ever to a dog that was about to have his sick and rights. Fred, it's well documented on the show, loves McNuggets. And we've had to ban him from McNuggets because he ran dead last, but what we thought we'd do is look just make it clear make it known to him that if he wants to get back on the nuggets he can have them after the race is that something you've ever done to you have you ever rewarded yourself
Starting point is 00:34:34 with food my only thing I like to do is to have a ham and pineapple pizza the night before I bow really yeah there are some pretty ordinary ham and pineapple pizzas sliding around over Australia to the choir yeah yeah and then you go about finding one of those when you're over in India well it's very tough to try and explain a ham and pineapple pizza to the room service waiter but I don't push you out the way or anything like that I just you know just find his book and try and get a ham and pineapple pizza
Starting point is 00:35:02 and come back with some trick on it it's not really that good. Look, if Fred does get the hat trick on Saturday, do you think it will be smaller as big or bigger than your hat trick? Oh, definitely bigger. You have about 50 or 60,000 at the ground. You're going to have about 300,000 for it. So definitely a bigger sporting achievement than mine.
Starting point is 00:35:20 So the dish will come. It's amazing. So that's early days. Early days. I thought he was an amazing ambassador for-look up. Amazing. So that's early days. Early days. I wanted an amazing ambassador for great foods too. Yeah, for me. The worst thing is, they do a lot of toasts and pineapple pizzas. That was the other side of it.
Starting point is 00:35:32 But we would have him on probably twice a year, something probably. We had to often eat out, we asked him to come in and he just dropped things. At the time of the had he just come and play. And one that we really ought to reflect on is when you and I tried to take down the who wants to be a millionaire machine at the local pub. Yes, this is a quote you put ten bucks in to play who wants to be a millionaire. And if you get all the way through it, think you want a hundred or maybe it was $500 or something.
Starting point is 00:36:01 Well, we found out that the machine actually changes the amount you win depending on how many payouts it's had. So you could be right. That's right. It was a floating jackpot. Now, we went, the thing about the machine is it probably reckons there's one or two people playing. What it wouldn't be ready for is a team of a late trivia nerds who are all standing around
Starting point is 00:36:23 and are trying to lock in the answer. So we tried to divide it up into categories in we, you know, arts, pop culture. We felt like any ocean from Ocean's 11, we were putting together an elite team to take down this machine. And so I was hamishin' myself. We then bought a Matt Preston for food and drink.
Starting point is 00:36:39 We had jewelry. I don't think a food and drink question ever came out. But I think he was also one of the smartest by a mile. He actually was really good at trivia. Tony Martin was in there and he's just a television savant comedian Tony Martin. Julian Zimiro was in there obviously for music as well. Mone was taking on and Mone was doing the sports.
Starting point is 00:36:58 What we forgot about was like, as people well know, like when he was got into poker, he loved a gamble. He loved a gamble. So we forgot that the discipline required to just stay in your specialty topic would of course spill over it and the enthusiasm of going for Wild Ants and we'll get the better of warning. So all these guys haven't met.
Starting point is 00:37:20 I'm a Matoni Martin, a Devon Bet Show board, and we've all got together to try and take down who wants to be a millionaire machine with a ring in foroni Martin, a Devon bit, Shay Bord, and we've all got together to try and take down the who wants to be a millionaire machine with a Ring in for science category a listener called Robert who is now part of this special pack All right gentlemen and lady. Thank you very much for coming quick roll call. I suppose then music genius Julia Roberts is in it was a mirror Thank you. Yeah, she's there. She's there. She you. Yeah she's here. Jay Z to all. Jay Z is here. Tony Martin. Movies comedy obscure British sitcoms from the 1970s. That's what I'm happy for. That's covered. Matt Preston. Obscure British that comes in 1970s. History food and drink. Welcome. Sports genius Shane Warren. Present. Sport. That's it.
Starting point is 00:38:04 Welcome sports genius Shane Warren present sport that's it Boy genius science mathematics Robert present hoping for some vector calculus First questions coming up. So with the earliest but these formula one world champion Robbers and the correct order. They won the hell No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, two, three, four. Well, all right. Rest in his hands. Rest in his hands. You know how I'm happy. First question was a sports based question.
Starting point is 00:38:32 We all looked at warning. He's set back and said, he's beer. A worrying sign. Here's the results for our live live live. Jack Bravin, yes. Graham Hill, yes. It's Nigel Nathanyah. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:38:42 We're away! We're away! We're alive. We've got the nerve sound. We're off round. We're on the ninth round. A horse won the 1993 Melbourne Cup. Vintage crop. Yeah. What a win! Which Argentinian player was sent off in the 1990 World Cup final?
Starting point is 00:39:01 Is that sport? That's what I mean. It's probably Sancini, because I don't know the other three players. OK, well done. Oh, well done. It's a world cup. Oh, Preston. Oh, no.
Starting point is 00:39:11 Moving outside his category. Oh, Preston, do sports. I thought Sancini, but surely, he's our sports guy. He should have carried us there. They were up to game 12, andani was worried about WizKid Roberts. Rob looked really confident. He was just, you can see him hanging back a little bit. So I wanted him to pipe him. Hey, Robert, Robert, lift! Robbin, lift!
Starting point is 00:39:35 Robbin, you need to dash to team. We have a social in Kevin Mags. Wani, rugby. I think Wani's biggest strength was yelling things confidently, but I'm not 100% sure he did know those answers. Kevin mags, I have to go with Ireland. He's gone! Come on! Come on, Wony! I guess.
Starting point is 00:39:57 He's a stranger. A harder thirst as there's a big cold power. Take it away Wony! VV! You're a dull! That's cool. That's cool. More questions. A harder thirst as there's a big cold power. Take it away, water! VV! You're a doll!
Starting point is 00:40:05 That's cool. That's cool. More questions about VV. That's the only falling field hockey player, Steve. I'm a homo, no, half. That's a ho-ho-ho-ho-no. You see how that's freaking Australian? It's a bit scary.
Starting point is 00:40:21 It's got your foreigners, isn't it? No, I... Well, I was very excited times towards the end because it all came down to a hockey question and he had played hockey. Did he have the knowledge to get us across the line? He's coming. And he's guess New Zealand he did play hockey.
Starting point is 00:40:35 Oh! Man, you've let us down, audience. Andy. Because I had absolutely no idea of any question, I thought it was easy to yell at you, Andy. Because I had absolutely no idea what any question I thought was easy to yell at you Andy. So I just thought that was the best thing. Get on the front foot before I started attacking me. Stop tying the point fingers, boys. Sorry, man.
Starting point is 00:40:56 It's time to win through. It's time to win through. If you weren't going to point a finger, why didn't you? Where's the finger pointing? Andy. And after one hour and 15 minutes, it came down to game 40. Should we go for one last round? Magic 2.5.
Starting point is 00:41:09 It's the magic. We will only break even if there will be no victory except for pride. Which victory are AFL players? What the brown mode? I'm not here 35. Hayden, button. Yay! Four!
Starting point is 00:41:22 Four! Four! That's a complete ask. Wait, I did going to ask the audience. We are one away from winning, Mani. Chris, every button on the machine. I did it in a packet of Peter Jackson's file. We'd used all three of our life for the first time. We've got a lot of things to do. We've got a lot of things to do. We've got a lot of things to do.
Starting point is 00:41:38 We've got a lot of things to do. We've got a lot of things to do. We've got a lot of things to do. We've got a lot of things to do. did it in a packet of Peter Jackson's file. We'd used all three of our lifelines and still didn't have a clear answer. So it was time for Warny to step up and do what he does best behind bowling spin.
Starting point is 00:41:57 Have a guess. B, I'm going to go with B. Oh, B, anyone else want it? Warny, come on Warny. Warny! Warny! Yeah! You're three hours! Three hours!
Starting point is 00:42:08 An hour's question. Which year did Mother Teresa become an Indian citizen? Oh, you've been to India Warny! You've got a big end! Go to B! God! I've never seen a highest film where they screw it up. I'm going to cow, but it's a razor.
Starting point is 00:42:26 LAUGHTER It was an amazing day. It was really nice. We'd all look back on it. I remember Tony Martin saying to me as we left, he said, I never realised I'd have so much fun with Shane Warren. I remember he was not into sport at all. A lot of people that thought that across the year's Ando.
Starting point is 00:42:44 And definitely in Jack Anu, you must have joined the years, and definitely, and Jack, I know you wascha during the week, but one is Docko. It's fantastic. It's fantastic. Yeah. It really is. I actually watched it just a couple of weeks ago, and it's phenomenal that it's been done at this time and that it's come out.
Starting point is 00:42:58 It's an amazing thing to do. And one of the things, I'm going to say just before we finish, one of the things I'd loved about it was he talks about, we all love all love wanting for what he did on the cricket field. He talks about like wanting to leave cricket so he could be a better dad. And that is a very touching moment. And you know, you like him for what he did on the cricket field, you love him for that sentiment. So he goes.
Starting point is 00:43:16 Well, me as you might, and thanks for everything. Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishnandy.com.

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