Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 169

Episode Date: April 27, 2022

1. Power Moves 2. Choir Chums – Mike’s exceptional gear change 3. Hamish is breaking up with his pots and pans 4. The Human Word Count – Joel’s special skill 5. Keep It or Delete It: Pubic hair 6. The Remembering Project is back! 

A list-nuff production. Activate your internet. Cos the Hamish and the podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. A Hoi Mi spot, Hamish. Oh, sorry, just checking if anything was coming up from behind. No, all clear back here, Skipper. Ahoi to me flyer.

Jack. Up there in the sky where I belong. And I'm the base. And there's only three things in this group of people. They go in another base. Three positions. Three positions. Three positions in the trio. The old back spot. I would say the flyer jack gets all the

kudos. Everyone's like, oh wow. The aqua bat. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Oh, you're the strength. You're the strength, and you're flipping jack up. Yes. And I'm just basically out of these days with the screws. Because you're stronger and more succulent. Yeah. You would have, I mean, you probably put on 10 kilos

since the radio day was jacked. Yeah, that's true, actually. Yeah, fall. Thickened out. All the time. All peanut butter and muscle. Peanut butter and muscle. What a delicious feast, Freddy Cannibal.

Should they cut you open? Also a hoi to Matt from London. Oh, boy, boys. It's Matt from London. Hey, I'm just making a call on the chime line. As a result of the people's gravy chip being announced today, just trying to make an inquiries to over them, make their way over to England. But obviously, due to the lengthy upload process of this file

and the fact there's no expiry down about hopefully, I can grab a pack of it in about 15 years when I'm able to leave my house once this file's done. All right, see you. We've got to stay over. What's the file upload? Well, that's just a snapshot into some of our dear listeners, Ando,

and a very good one there. But he, that can be the demoralizing thing and that's the issue I have with the system. When it goes estimated time remaining and it can be anywhere between 12 and 150 years. That's what can upset people. Very quick, easy use, still looking into that WhatsApp suggestion from Jacob and Austria.

Hey, we thought we'd better kick off the show because it's been a while since we've done this and they're still flooding in. So we just found out. Let's hit this on the head. Yeah. Yeah. I'll kick us off, it's from Alice.

She received a power move that would've been a slow burn because she refus certainly wrapped up an office workplace stint and she'd been there for about six months, which was a long enough time to get yourself a novelty jumbo-sized farewell card. I would think for sure. It's my- She's valued part of the office. Three months are we doing? Probably not doing a big card for three months.

Six is very minimum, or I can't give a job sticks once. What? I worked in at a telemarketing, played horrible job, but it was just for some Christmas money when you were at uni. And you're doing phone sales. And it was just, you was a written, written relentlessly by the person running the manager. I can't remember a name, but it was, I'd only been there for five days and they were doing

stuff Christmas presents at the end of the day and everyone was getting a ball of wine or a six pack. It was, but it got a celebration and then someone leaned over and whispered to her, you know, oh, I'm out of that guy. I'm trying to signal to her, it's fine, it's fine. Like I was planning on quitting the next week. We don't need to signal to her, it's fine, it's fine, like I was planning on quitting the next week, so we don't need to get to it. It's the way you quit, just to come to bar and bat with me, or is it?

No, that was a different call center. Then, Jen, I think her name was, rummaged around, got to remember, this is back when Swishi was a new novelty as a take of faith in her. And so she had the paper for chopsticks, the snap apart chopsticks, which we were still very, very new to Australia at the time. And she gave me those. There's a little something. Thank you.

She's like, they're cool, you break them apart. You know, they're like chopsticks. Yeah. So it was like probably the first time I'd seen them. But looking back, it was a long shot for her to pass that off as Christmas cheer. So yeah, that's what you get for one week. Yeah, working at a place as you get jobsticks. Well, the card had been passed around obviously in secret,

and often not in secret. But Alice writes, after I've seen the card in my last, I was reading through the messages left by colleagues wishing me my best on my next chapter, and I stumbled across this message. Dear Alice, I have not met you, but I feel you could have learned a lot from me. It's a bit of a. That's the ultimate one.

And, I love a move. I love it when you get given just one thing. You've got to put a bit of effort in on your end, but it could pay repeated dividends. This is from Dean, he goes, look, how are you, how are you best used in a social setting in a foreign country where you don't know the language, but you can hear snippets of other people's conversation like a restaurant, a bar, et cetera. Whenever you're traveling to another country, learn just enough of the language to say,

I heard what you said. Say it enough and hopefully you'll catch someone out either talking about you or something that will try to disguise. Oh, I love that. If we ever do a volume free of pal that's that's definitely I heard what you said because it is the greatest moment in any movie isn't it when like after you know there's someone speaking Russian phrases in front of them that they answer in Russian. And it's like, well, what a move. Um, which you pointed out actually, him the hogs has got the extra delivery of power moves, two books coming, you can still pre-order at the moment at homestiny.com.

So apologies for people waiting not long away. Um, came from Ainsley, asshole move. I'm not sure whether this is one of the, sometimes you're like, is this really the way things work in real life? But she says, if, and it may be more of a female thing. She said, if you're a public toilet, if you're, if you're at a crowd of pub, it can work a treat. But if you're in a public toilets and someone sticks their hand under the cubicle wall indicating they want toilet paper. Right. Give them a Chris Pye 5.

Okay. It's... It's real. I mean, it's one of the greatest sign for episodes. I can't spare a square. But Chris Pye 5, it's quite a tough bend down together. But also, you wouldn't put your hand under without saying something. I do think you would have a bit of,

hey, I haven't said someone just come straight underneath and go. Yeah, I mean, if you're doing a pun here or mine, maybe, but who's just clicking and waving their hand? And this, this again requires effort, this requires effort, but the payoff is there from the leaner. My mother has completed a power move on my father over dinner. This power move works for anyone that cooks for others regularly. Whenever serving a steak slice it up into bite-sized pieces, making sure it retains its general shape before serving. At first, most will be pleasantly

surprised and enjoy that you've done that for them. Continue to do this over time. So they will begin to expect it from you. This is when it's time to stop. So then the steak uncut and watch as they stab into it and eat it as usual but then stumble over the unexpected weight and watch as their face turns into one of confusion. A tip, A tip is to cover the steak in an opaque sauce, e.g. pepper sauce. It helps hide the lack of cuts upon the show-stopping steak. Pfff. Pfff.

Pfff. I don't know about that. I mean, that is the longest play for the smallest result. Pfff. Yeah. Because the best you can get from dad there is like, oh, don't you know we cut these up? Yeah.

Okay, so I use my knife. Ah. I've been waiting months for that. Ah. Maybe the last two haven't been. It's wrong, maybe they don't make it in the next book. Hey, let's see how this one goes. Rich.

Power move. When you stop the intersection and the person behind you honks their horn because they think you've taken too long to move off after the green has turned. If you can, quickly put your hazard lights on and jump out of the car and go, sorry, mine, sorry, I'm going to need a push, right to get jeez. As they get out of there, huh? Jack, you're stuck right. LAUGHTER

CHEERING Hey, Alena came into our possession this week and it's to do with the ongoing choir off that's happening. Come in here at Radio My podcast, Mike, choir, chum, bike. We are. Like we, we're trying to, what are we getting to the bottom of here? I mean, there's just been so many things. I guess we're examining Mike who works with us as career as a high school student, which

was funded by his singing, both as a high-voiced boy and a low-voiced pubescent boy after he went through his gear change as they called in the choir game and nature weaved its low-voiced magic on him. You know what, he was still able to keep his half scholarship, I think all the way to the year 12. You know what we should do, we should get, what's your, what's your, Mike welcome? But what's, what's, what are your parents' names? I, Tony.

My dad's name's Tony. My mom's name is Antonella. Antonella and Antonie. So, yeah, they were five percent of Tony. Five Tony's growing up. And mom had to kind of forego, been called Tony because she married another Tony.

Two, two parent Tony. Two for Tony. Two for Tony. Two for Tony. Four for Tony. Conjoined there are four for Tony. Okay. Okay.

So that's a huge sacrifice from Tony. Mum, I'm going to respect your original name. Absolutely. Your dad's now the team end. But I like that she's anti-tony too. Respect your original name. Absolutely. Your dad's now the team end. But I like that she's anti-tiny too. Like Ant-Winnell, Ant-Tiny. I'm like, matter and anti-matter touching.

In coming weeks, I feel like we should get them on. One of them on? Just to see how important the scholarship was to them. Sure. Well, I assume we're going to finish the year with a musical based on this saga. Well, a choir. Yeah, that's true. We're Mark Sings, his own role, and we'll get them to play themselves.

So we are, forging towards a choir off, because more choir, scholarship choir people have come out of the woodwork. Hamishne.com, Tyson, who was on, he has text me and said he's in for the choir of Sam, was the last person that said he was in. So at least we've got three competitors. This is a letter from whose doctor Cox? He was one of the choir conductors. And as it says, not a medical doctor either. I don't see. I'm musical. Yeah, but not a medical doctor. My prognosis is negative. Musical doctor. And look, you've got to have them.

It's tough industry. So you've got to have the dogs at the top. But it is one of those things where, you know, there is a feel. There's a group of doctors where you, you know, you know, I'm flying in it now, if someone's yelling at is anyone a doctor here, he's not grabbing the keyboard and running to the front. What got a music to you need for this heart attack? Saxophone probably.

Stand back. I've got to get the pipe right on the heart. Dr. Jeffrey Cox, it says, Ham, that he under it, it says organist as he's first thing he writes. Again, that's something he would muck around with people like, you know, I'll see you a doctor. Well, I deal with the organs. Oh, wow.

I mean, Dr. Cox, what a man. A organist and director of music. Same thing I'm in my school, the guy that could play the organ really walked around thinking he was candy. Not too many spots. You play with your feet and your hands, yes we get it. Sure, it's the rolling machine of instruments. A real full body workout. Um, Mike. Yes.

Your parents have been sent this. It says, dear Mr. and Mrs. Leverale, sorry, above that, it says, re-quire scholarship 2009. Now, they would have opened this and seen re-quire scholarship 2009 on, no. Uh-oh. And the whole thing, Mike, you, you showed this, we saw this. It's like the 22nd of December. So the evil doctor has waited, has let you go sweat all through the Christmas present shopping period to go, are the school fees taken care of next year?

Are they not? Like, can we afford this? Can we get Mike's bike? Because I assume Mike, you didn't audition on the 21st to like sing your, because you had to, according to your sort of story, you had to audition every few months to like let them know you still had what it took.

So why did they make you wait and sweat it out? Because the last thing you would sing at as part of your obligations was a Christmas day thing. So you would get this. Basically, it was a Christmas present to tell you whether or not you got the scholarship for another year. So there will be kids rocking up that didn't get a scholarship the next year still having to perform.

No, you'd get it at the end. Oh, you get handed this letter at the end of the last day of the year. So hang on, this was written on the 22nd, but it wasn't given to you on the 25th. What are you guys on Christmas day? You go into a school. You're just singing? Yeah. It's a pretty big day.

I don't know if you know the origins of Christmas or not, and it's quite heavily featured in the church. Yeah. So they've had, they might have, yeah, this is how they get you, mate. No such thing as a free lunch. Jesus, as I said, Jesus, got a bad name for the kid. All right. I don't know who said that, but that's what we're calling him. Dear Mr. Mrs. Liberale, following the annual performance review for holders of Cathedral Choir Scholarships, I am pleased to inform you that Michael scholarship is confirmed to continue for 2009. When they saw that word, I am pleased that we've

acknowledged. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, for good putting. It's put extra coins in it. Mike, what you did definical? 2012. Oh, so this is early days. Early days. This is 10 days after my 14th birthday. So it would have been 14. Huge, what a December. What an absolute December for you.

You're singing on Christmas Day. You're working on Christmas Day. So there are kids that would do the gig on Christmas Day then get fired. Yeah. Yeah. Essentially. Thanks for your work. We won't have you back next year. Brutal Christmas.

Brutal Christmas. That's the worst day of seeing you could ever have, is it? You've ruined the Christmas day. Anyway. Can you tell when they handed you the letter, Mike, if you'd made it or not? No, you weren't allowed to open it because it was for your parents. You were just supposed to hand it to your parents. Because then they'd relay the message to you. Quite clearly addressed to the two Tonys.

Yeah. Because in baseball, they just put a red ticket in your locker. So how do you know you've been cut? Yeah, so I thought you had a have gone back to take off your robe and just did the dress secret. There's a melted candle or something that just signify that you're out. The thing goes on to say, her Michael has been in the alto line for the whole of 2008. And I mean, your parents would have given, you would have given your parents regular updates, so they would have known this. And I greatly value his contribution. He still has a very comfortable alto range, and is simultaneously developing what should

turn out to be a very pleasant tune of voice. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one.

That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. That's a good one. of all enthusiasts just to nail the pleasant. How is the gig last night? You see, Colbert? Yeah. Pleasant, pleasant. Very pleasant.

Pleasant. Yeah, it's really good. His management of the in quotation marks, gear change between the two is remarkably good. What's the gear, why is gear changing in quotation marks and what do they mean, Mark? Because gear change, I mentioned it in a free list. We've discussed this. It's the change between your boy voice to your quote unquote man voice. No, no, no, it's a puberty.

It's a puberty change. Yeah, yeah. So it's this. Oh, yeah, it's that. That's the gear change. And I didn't use any clutch there. So you could hear the gears changing. But Mike is able to execute his gear change but it sounds like with a double clutch,

and it until. Are they saying he's impurity? You've done puberty well. It was basically saying like you're at this point where you're starting to develop a deeper voice and you can kind of in your singing you can kind of shift between pre and post pubic. What a play. Yes, like a super hero. When Mike eats a banana, he comes post pubic.

Yes, this is a nice way of them saying, you might have noticed Mike's been in a lot more time. He's been doing well, that's fine. But we just want you to know on the singing field where it counts, He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time.

He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time. He's been doing a lot more time.

Well, that's fine. We just want you to know on the singing field where it counts. He's able to still do what we need him to deliver. Michael has a good musical ear. And his sight reading skills are excellent. He's attitude and reliability remain very commendable. And that's continued throughout my life, I think. I think if you guys were to write one of these, that would be reflected as well. My report of you would be mysteriously, his gear change is returned. It just wouldn't have been so nervous.

He seems to transition to our high school. Sometimes we were assured by his high school, the gear change was complete. This is amazing. Well, thanks, Mike. That's covered off everything that I did. This does add weight to your side of the story that you were, indeed, rackin' up those sweet half scholarships year after year after year and doin' what it took, even workin' giggin' on Christmas day.

So what year did you start high school? I started high school in 2007. I guess so this was, you get into your third year. No, because I started that scholarship in 2005 when I was in grade five. So it was a seven year. I got into a little, little leaf. Windfall.

I had another email that came in my side of the fence, Mike. Yeah. I'm not going to say the guy's navy goes, and it's very upbeat. The guys, I, hey, hope is all well. Hey, I was also in the choir with Libba. He told you to get in touch. He told me to get in touch with you guys.

Well, I've had huge success from that choir. I'm actually a professional at precincter now. And I, all my experiences to that choir is being a major factor in the career I'm now on. And I just read this and went, this is so Mike E. Malik, the show. I'm not myself. James someone. If it's not, when he says, he's like, you're very happy to discuss.

Like, I'm gonna be honest. When you said you told him, he's told it, don't go around telling him you're gonna go next time. No, because Mike's a little bit. I know, like, you were giving scholarship kids a hard time and I saw, I remember James was on a singing scholarship, he's now an opera singer and I said, hey man, if you respect your scholarship it would be wrong for you not to get in touch with the show. To show them what a success

you can be on a scholarship. Like lobbying behind the scenes. I mean this is a stinks of Mike Riley and I saw him on TV. I was like, what? Can't listen to what he's had as he's been, he's been corraled by you behind the scenes. Mike thinks we look for you to respect. And I mean, is Libba gonna be in the quarrel? Well, you probably don't know what he's in there. No, no, he's saying Mike was Libba.

Mike's live, right? That's why I thought Mike had written this himself because he's given himself a cool nickname in his own email. So, of course. What's his bike's name, James? James Emerson. Well, he'd be in the car, you don't want him in the car off.

I don't mind. The more the merrier. Do we hold it on Christmas day to see if they still care? LAUGHTER MUSIC MUSIC Ando. Jackie Boy. over summer. My wife and I were fortunate enough to go to the shops

and a wonderful day out and we purchased a three-piece pots and pans sell. That's pretty nice. It was nice. So you got the chauffeur to drop us a soft ballet and barge straight into the pots and pans people and just went give us your best non-stick and people always go what is so in-hameysh like you know the lavish life they lead but they they went straight to I would imagine some kind of huge department DJs DJs and now they can have three soups on the go. Why not have a reduction going right? You cook a small amount of pasta for the kids with a fondant waiting at the end. It started as a drink.

It was, and it was actually, I'm actually quite happy with the pans, but what I did notice on the pots and pans box, right? It's a company called, I don't know how to pan as a steel, a steel, just a classic non-stick, right? Good pants. On the box, it has one of these guarantees where it goes, try it, love it, or your money back.

Love it? And I always, laugh. I always get interested in these things. You see that guarantee come up with a few brands where they're like, love it. So you don't even have to like it. Even if you could like it, but even if you don't love it, if it's not for you, you can get your money back. Usually you assume

that that's done because it's like no one's ever going through with getting their money back on it. It's like, you would have to, what it should be is try it, hate it money back. If no one tries something, likes it and then gets everything, it's like, if you turn this on and the pan catches fire, like, yeah, get your money back. But if it's working pretty well, as if you could be bothered getting your money back So but anyway try it love it. What it means is they can't argue if you say you're not in love with something No one can argue you into being in love with it. It reminds me of a high school Well, everyone says that we should be in love so

It's basically the bachelor. It's the final episode of the Bachelor wedding. When the girls come in, the guys come in, whatever, the Bachelor is at, and everyone's waiting, are they gonna say the L word? So what I did, here's the experiment, comes with a customer service number. I reckon we call the number now. I have gone back to the Honey Badges season of the Bachelor.

The most famous where he decided to not love other people. He did it properly. He went in history. That word was not uttered. Maybe he himself on the way. It was real. Ample. Ample chances for me to explore the language

of how to say to someone, I like you a lot. And I think you're great, but I'm not in love with you. I think the bit where he broke up with a young lady called Sof and he lets her down well. Basically, I've got the exact script of what he said here, and I've replaced every time he says, you or Sofie, I'm going to replace it with pots and pans. Because I'll be calling those to just say, look, this isn't working between me and the pots and pans. Here's a little bit of when the honey badger was going through

that difficult time for both of them. When I say those three words, I want to really mean it. And right now, I can't give 100% of me to you. Important words, OK. Well, you've got to do. It's just as... It's always difficult doing this. Jack, can we play music without the caller hearing it? Yes, OK. Let's put the Bachelor of Music on there.

Really, I mean, on the Bachelor, this takes like eight weeks to get to this moment. Yeah, thanks. So, here we go. Good luck. We're looking up over the button panel. Jack, I'm with the thumbnail. What's this? Good morning, Mayor Cook. We're malicious speaking. Hey, Melissa, my name's Craig. How you going? Well, thanks Craig. How can I help? Hey, I recently bought the E-Steel 3 piece set.

Yeah. The nonstick, uh, Pattenpans. Yep. Um, uh, this is a, this is a not an easy one to say, but on the box, it has a try at love at all your money back. So I wanted to give them, I gave them a few weeks, like I wanted to try them out properly, and my verdict is in. I look, I want to start by saying, it has been a hell of a ride, and the pots and pans, they're beautiful. And every time I'm with the pots and pans,

I have an amazing time. But I realize in using the pots and pans it's brought something out in me that I haven't felt for a while and I like them a lot. But when I say those three words, when I say I love them, I want to mean it and I want to mean it with all my heart

because that's what I want out of my pots and pans. And then my pots and pans are happy and I'm happy and I'm not able to say with all my conscience wholeheartedly to commit. I can't say those words and I can't commit to the pots and pans. So at this point I think our journey has come to an end. Okay, so is it the a demanding or the person who say that you've purchased? It's the demanding. For demanding?

Yeah, I'm so sorry. I really, I think they're great. I just couldn't get there. That's right. And are you using a gas or induction cooktop? Induction. Induction. Induction?

But if they want gas, you know, I just say the pots and pans go, find gas. If that's who they want to, you know, if that's what they work better with, that's their path. But for me, it was induction and I could not get there to say that be a word. It's a big deal for me and I couldn't say love. Okay, no that's fine. So, were there any particular issues with the induction? Induction cooking? I think it's just a matter of chemistry. Like I know obviously the induction process, it's a matter of chemistry at a molecular level, but for me it was bigger than that. It just wasn't working and it's one of those kinds of...

You know, when you find the one, you find the one and all the three because it is the three-piece set, but for me it wasn't the three. And I believe that they belong with someone else too and it's silly to keep trying. Yep, sure no problem. So what the easiest way for us to do this is if you go onto the Estelle website. Yeah, thank you for taking this so well too. I was really nervous about this call. It's okay, you know, everybody has different favourites and different ways of cooking. It's just such a hard thing to do to say, but I just thought the right thing to do is man up and be honest with the pots and pans and be honest with you guys. No problem. Now, if you jump onto our website, we have a service tab at the top of the page.

Yep, that makes it easy. Yeah. Clicking to their scroll down to the bottom of the page and there's an inquiry section. Oh, sorry. Sorry, sorry. I'm just talking about it. Sorry, sorry. It's a detail. It's a little... No, listen.

No, listen, I've got something to admit. It's a hay machine Andy here. I'm so sorry to do, Melissa. I've got two bits of good news. Yes. I love the issue. I, and I don't want to return them. So I thought I'd cut that off there because we bloody love them.

But I did see the sticker that said, if you don't fall in love with the pans, you can get your money back straight away, which it seems like you can do. And so as an experiment, I was trying to use the exact script from the bachelor when he breaks up when... You were a honey badger?

Well, the honey badger breaks up with Sophie. But I just replaced the word Sophie with pots and pans. When you see that, that didn't show with me, But I just replaced the word Sophie with pots and pans. When you see that, that didn't go with me, because I've never seen the that too. You're fair enough, aren't you? You're very close. When people normally ring up and say they want to separate

from their pots and pans, how did it rate though, as letting them down slowly? Well, I actually thought you were going to cry. What? Breakups are hard. I actually thought you were going to cry. Breakups are hard. I really felt you were so disappointed, but you had to tell me you didn't like the pot than ten. No, I mean, it was all, I mean, breakups are hard, but the great news is here, it's there is no breakup, because we actually do love the pots and pans. I love this too. We just wanted to see our customer service might react to a must-emit. You are very good. You let him down slowly. You're talking through

the process. I wish the brother. You're also very matter of fact. I think more breakups need to be liked. Particularly if you say you're part okay cool. You can just go online and go to my website and there's a phone you can go. You're not searching. I can't recommend a hurry and I'll hug. Honey Badger if you're listening, I recommend you do get together with the Steel 3 or 5 case range. You can be the ones you've been waiting for. Thanks Melissa, take care.

You have a great day. Bye. Thanks mate. Bye. Hey, sometimes we discuss special skills other times. We just bring them straight to the table. I want to do this straight through. Yeah, I want to do this one. It's because a friend nominated a friend. I think they're always more powerful. If you're nominating a mate from the special skill, it means that

they were reluctant coming forward, but they obviously have the power and they should be showing it off. It's an onlooker. It's more of an onlooker going, I can't believe what I've just said. Yeah, you should see how far I kick the ball. It's much better than that. How far? It's actually much better than me. You should see how far I kick the ball. How far? He may as well say it. You obviously want to say it. He may as well say it does. You obviously want to say it. So, um, HamishNini.com, if you have a special skill or you know someone that you want to

nominate, but Daniel nominate his friend Joel, Joel can do this. Joel can guess the word limit in a randomly selected number of words in a Microsoft document within plus or minus five words. 12 point font, double spaced in either. Calibre is a calibre? Is that easier? Calumbria? Calumbria, right?

I want to say Calibre, I think that's a pizza. Or times New Roman. To me, I thought that seems easy because he just must know how many words go across a line and he can vaguely look at it. I've tried it that many times, studying it. It's hard. It seems like a skill that would, like obviously, vibe based, but also working at like a level,

a subconscious level that, you know, we don't understand with modern science. And also probably developed at uni or like school doing essays. Yep. Joel joins us now. Or what do you, Joel? Oh, boy. How do we say Andy?

No need. Good boy. Joel. And Joel. And Joel. What do you Joel? Oh, boy. How birthday Andy. No need. Good boy. Joel. Joel. Thank you so much. It's a man that estimates size. It means a lot coming from you. Also, just trying to sweep that one away and slightly rebrand it. I don't want everyone thinking SPSPSPSP every time I think of me and imagining what's down there. So thank you, but we must move on.

Yeah, I'll try and own it, but I'll say just try to be more of a three dimensional human, but just one huge dimension. But thank you. We're talking about your bladder size by the way. We're trying to move on. We're actually trying to move on, and if you get your mind is out of my shorts.

He does have a huge bladder. Joel, how come you found out that you could do this? So, may I make Daniel who nominated me for the skill? Where are you new together? Where for the physio students? And we just did a theory block online where we have to do an essay. And the essay was pretty strict with the word count. And we have to keep going back, refining taking away things and things in and just through that process just stumbled upon this special skill and

and yeah luckily enough Daniel was able to marvel and he sent a few voices well and see this a different era back for him in I, we would write at the end of the essay, the word cap. Because they were like, they're like, right, 2000 words on, you know, whatever, management. And you'd write and write and write to a level where you, uh, self-assess that you're completely exhausted. And then you would look at the work and it was like 400 dead words. Maybe like, okay, I'll do a little bit more, call it 1600. And then hope that they'd... And then move the margins in, double space it. Just hope that they don't notice.

They didn't, and they didn't. You would, they would just look at your word count and they'd tick it off. Yeah, I know you wanted 2000, but yeah, landed the plane around about 1750. I think I said it off. Okay. Hey, give a take.

So here, we can highlight, in a word, Doc, any manner words, Joel will get it within plus and minus five. I want to try one for you, straight off the bat ham. I'll just hold up a piece of paper. What is written on this paper? Is it real English words? Is it just, you know, it's going camping this summer with what, here's what you need to know.

Oh, I don't need to read this, so I can't know how to refresh. I'm holding one up now, you can see the highlighted. Yeah. How many words do you think that is? 85. Aim 110, you will weigh off. I know.

Okay, all right, that's tough. I actually thought I was a little over. I thought. Okay, all right, that's tough. I actually thought I was a little over. I thought I'd put a bit faster than that. So Joel, how quickly do you need to be able to see the highlighted section? Yeah, so obviously six minutes, you could count them. Yeah, I just want to stay off the bat.

There's no counting involved. This is a pure gut and feel-based skill. Generally just look at the girth of the paragraph, as I'm home, we know a lot about girth. That's certainly a girth assessment. Yeah, girth assessment. I would also go to the assessment of the paragraph and it's just a pure ride based skill

and we just go from there. Okay, so let's say two seconds, if we put it up, because we've got you on a Zoom, we're gonna share the screen with a highlighted section. Should we say two seconds if we put it up because we've got you on a zoom we're going to share the screen with a highlighted section should we say two seconds? If you give me three I'd be stoked. Okay three is fine. Three is fine. Well the easiest one of the easiest opportunities we've ever had to make someone stoked. We will give you that extra second.

There are the rules. Jolly are you ready? I'm ready. Let's jump into it. you that extra second. They're the rules. Jolly, waiting for this moment to arrive. That put pump your arm. He's still there mate. I'll ready to go. Here we go. Mike, you can show Joel now. One, take it away. Our R&K nut was about 78 words there in the yellow section that Mark just showed me. 98. Okay. So obviously we're real dire straits.

If you get the next two, we'll give you a coin. Okay, yep. But got to be in the five. That's got to be really close to the pen. I want to let you know, I wasn't expecting my take it away so quickly, but that's all prepared now. Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah.

I felt like it was a generous three seconds. We'll be out. Okay. Yeah. I felt like it was a generous three seconds. We'll be out. I think I, yeah. I agree. Trust me, as someone that's been through a rigorous testing program before when I was doing my SP tests, sometimes the first few minutes of this can be wild. And you know, you're kind of going everywhere. You do in the last two thirds of the test, you do find your rhythm.

I found that when I was judged to have the SP and I'm sure you'll find that here. Yeah. You didn't get caught in the actual words, did you, if that last one? No, I didn't get caught in the word with the accent of an article about Jack Post. Fascinating. So he's on his ways on this. Right articles rather. I We saw there's one, there's a big one coming out. The next one, so you don't get distracted by the content of the page. It's all about what a podcast is, okay? This is what a PDF or a podcast is.

So don't get distracted by that. Mike, show Joel the word doc. I'd say he almost two thirds of the page and highlighted it and take it away man they'll quite a large bit of highlight of text I'm gonna say that looked about to me one, I'm gonna say one, 73, one 95. God, that's 20 off. It seems like you've got a sweet swap of big 20 off, Joe.

We might have just got a new talent that you always could, you just hook in the ball 20 to the left. This, okay, one more for honor, because we definitely can't keep you on, but if you're exactly 20 off, we'll consider. Yeah, that's true. You know, you're holding one or exactly 20 off here, and we're accepting nothing in between.

This is the analysis of cryptocurrency and it as an industry, so don't get distracted by the content. It could be some long words in there, right? And Mike, please show Joel go for it. Joel, having a look, I would say, maybe just under what we had last time if he's going up the last one.

And he'll take it away. Longer than three seconds, Joel. Yeah, yeah, it's that's probably the happy medium between the first one second one. Um, I'll go one 68 for that one, please He's one off being 20 off But on the high side this this time, which really, it was 149. What a role.

So that would have been quite the argument, because big 20 off, we always thought lower. I mean, what I love about this segment is how niche the skills are, saying I can guess the word kind of a highlighted piece of text with this font, this size. That's niche already. But then to come and add to that, I can always be exactly 20 of. We've elevated you into the rarest of air. It's a dilemma we don't have to face as you end up with three red lights. A token of no value. Probably Framus shame material. We haven't got it for this year. Send us a photo. I do think that is rough. Yeah. Well, you know, almost exactly 20 hours. Yeah.

Frame of shame. Send us a photo. You'll now replace the camera frame of shame a holder as the worst person to come on this show. Car, it's perpetual. So you get knocked off. That's, you won't go down forever as the worst. But, yeah, this is a new concept that's been introduced lately. I mean, it is a strength. You don't see it in a lot of sports with people going halfway through.

Okay. What about in the swimming? I won't come first. But if I get exactly five seconds to the hundred thousandth of a second behind first, you give me a gold as well. I also want to go for being out of nail it. Joel, you done it. Commiserations, bad luck, and never tell anyone that you can do that again. Appreciate it, boy. Cheers, buddy. Thanks, mate. Thanks, mate.

[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC That's how does this work again? Do we all have to vote to keep us? Well, because this, this, this, the people will hear this. That's two to one vote. Is it, is it, is it? It's a majority vote. Because you're voting to keep it, aren't you, yeah? No, I'm actually unsure. This is why it's different.

Normally, it's something. I wonder you can bring it to the table then veto it. Can you? Well, I want to say, I suppose you can if it just doesn't sound good coming out of your mouth. I think that's the idea. It's like it's testing something that you're not sure about. And then at the end, if we all hated it,

we just deleted it, no one ever heard it. Exactly. But let us not forget, I mean, maybe I'm just remembering my keep it or delete it, which was me sharing the very exciting crispy potatoes recipe, which was voted to keep, thankfully, because let's do get feedback on the polenta potatoes. That is the secret, Dustin with polenta.

Yeah. Let's not go back there again. But I can't be bothered to keep it. It was deemed worthy of the show. It's essentially, you bring something that you think may not be fit for the show. For many reasons, maybe do boring potatoes. Or...

Or two powerful potatoes. For mine, I think, just on the rating going to be gross, but I thought I'd... I think he's been disgusting. Yep, okay. But I happen to you. Yep. I mean, the stuff we've heard on this show, anyway. Anyway, the way this work is you're... The broken dick. You know, then, the ass, double assholes. You know, there's stuff that's gone wrong south of your border. Yes. Anyway, we're back in there.

We're going to get to it. We'll get to it. We'll get to it. All I'm saying is the way this works is we'll play the opener. Yep. And they'll either go straight onto something else because we've chosen to delete it. Yeah. Or everyone will hear it.

Ready to go? Yep. Keep it! All deleted! Everyone will hear it ready to go yep Realize that it's the sand of like a shotgun a deleted really delete it Hey, I was trimming my downstairs area. Okay I'll just keep going. I'll just keep going. I'll just keep going. I'll just keep going. I'll just keep going.

I'll just keep going. I'll just keep going. I'll just keep going. I'll just keep going. I'll just keep going. I'll just keep going. I'll just keep going. I'll just keep going. I'll just keep going. I'll just keep going. I think. Sure. And a ball of hair had gone, you know, I gathered a ball of hair at feet level in the shower.

Right? Yep. Yep. So at that point, Beck yells out and says, hey, can you come and help me? And I was thinking, well, I didn't want to yell at no, I'm cleaning up. I just said, I'll give me a second. Will you going to have a shower afterwards? Yes.

Yes. Yes. So I was going to just stuff all the hair down the drain. Get, get, get, get, get. Well, don't you know? You're a nice little net. I catch other hairs. I was going to dispose of the hair and then have a shower. Or blame it on the dog. Beck calls...

Can you come now? I think she was carrying some heavy boxes up and she felt like it was going to fall down the stairs. So I opened the door, run down, secure the boxes, I mean, I know, but like secure the boxes, I put the boxes aside and then head back upstairs to continue what I'm doing. Well, pretty much finished, but it doesn't need to clean up. You shaved Andy in long hair, and then I'm gonna shave that off. So, when I get to the top of the stairs, I see Henry with a huge ball of pew-peer mouth.

I can't even eat the pubes. Reverse fervor. Yes. So that's as you as a dog parent would know, Jack, that's when you go, no, no, no, no, no. And then I have to start, I started chasing Henry around the house. Let's get the pubs back.

Yeah, to get. Which is weird because you clearly don't want it. You just got rid of him. It's make up your mind. She would be thinking, do you want these or not? Because I just saw you cut him off. So now why do you want him? So then like Hansel and Grinnell, she would be thinking, do you want these or not? Because I just saw you cut them off. So now why do you want them? So then like Hansel and Gradle, she's leaving.

Right around the house. And they're very evasive dogs, aren't they, Jack? Hard to catch when they don't want to be cool. It would make very good rugby players, goose steps, change a direction, incredible. Speedy controls wild. So I get to Henry and I grab the majority of the balls, the hairball out of her mouth, but she clearly has eaten some, which I can't be

good for a dog, I don't think, but they're eating worse. They're eating worse. They eat their own poop, so they'll work that out. So I then have to obviously do a long vacuuming session and I dispose of everything. It's later that night where I'm like, gee, I'm glad that's all been dealt with. We are here from the dog. Reverse, reverse, verbal. The adventures of this pew.

There's a kids book of this. Patrick the adventure pub. He's off the balls, he's in the dog, he's out of the dog. Where's he off to next? Stay tuned for the sequel. So the bin, the bin. So actually, I guess I would normally

hearing the bell there, but that's where we decide whether we keep that or believe it. I mean, it's a good caution, retail. I'm happy to vote, keep it in for people that are also clipping near pube hungry dogs. Is it a dog? Does she just ate anything?

Or is she got a, is she? Yeah, particularly for the meaning to this. No, no, it's just maybe she's not just, you know, she won't eat only pubes. Yeah, I say keep it as well. All right, that, it just needs to be. She's not just, you know. She won't eat only pews. Yeah, I say keep it as well. All right, that's it there. Jack, your dog ever eaten your pews? She hasn't.

Yeah. Oh, it was an out. Hey, before we go, our other podcast, the Remembering Project, where we go back and try and remember some of our... Essentially, try and remember what we did on a certain day and usually we can't yeah It's actually over the 20 years or so of broadcasting It's out again today, but not available everywhere. It's a listen first the listener app

So you have to download the app. It's free It will be available down the track on all of podcast platforms. We've got a trailer. If you want it now go listen Yeah, we've got a trailer that explains it all in this season. Hey, Mrs. memory of celebrities is on point Pete Wentz. Well, it's he's he we'll of course know him from Fallout boy. Don't we Think you got the leo. No, we of course do know him that They remember a heist to try and egg their boss's house with a listener. You had to get away, Carl. I'll get away, Carl, but something happened and we left. I left Nathan.

Thank you, Dronevoff, for that getting night. I think you left both of us. Yes, just you remember that, yeah. Yeah, you drove off without us. I like to remember running with me. We... Our extraction vehicle took off without us. They blow wide open the perception that it's easy to get a private jet for free.

Most days on air we were pretending that everything's going well with the jet and we were inundated with offers and we were just sifting through the water. I was like, look, there's a guy that has a crop duster that will give you a joy flight. They reminisce about trying to rigick a contest to win a bull. We flooded it. We bought thousands and thousands of copies of the stuff in land. I think we had from memory about 80% of the ticket. And we didn't win it.

We didn't. We assumed we won. We assumed we was the... We thought this bull was a lockmine. On the day we were like, and when do we get our bull? And the other guy was like, well, no, no, no, and Carol Philip. We won't. And there's a new theme song. D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D That was what you put forward, but it didn't make it. We just went with like kind of polite calm jazz.

Like ponderings. Okay. Well, I haven't listed any episodes for a while. I wasn't sure which selection we got to. Season three of Hey Mission Andes Remembering Project is out now. And we can't wait to remember with you. So remember to download the listener app to hear it for free right now. Yeah, you can get it for free now on the listener app.

And I think late July it'll be available in all parts. I'll be honest with you I forgot we said listeners so much in that are regret saying I think I said it too much now. I think I think they got I read the owners even they got four too many so not saying it again. We're good.