Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 187

Episode Date: August 31, 2022

1. Digital horse blitz 2. Fart re-investigation 3. Hamish’s snow trip 4. The Grunt Master - Tennis special skill 

A least-knife production. Activate your internet. Cause the Hamish and the Podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. A hoi to be patty one. Hamish. It's actually pat Warn, the Hamish. It's actually Patti Warn, but yes, thank you.

No, the ABA, yes. This is right, this is right in my ex-wing. At the moment, I'm reading a book to Sonny at night, times about the Jedi Council. But you're interested to see what Jack gets? See if he... Master Jedi? Ahoi to me, youngling.

Is that... Yes. A Jedi, a hoi to me youngling, is that a child? A child? That's not baby Yoda. Yes, he does. Oh, you wish, mate. Baby Yoda grow to be the grandmaster. You certainly not baby Yoda. Baby Yoda, the real Yoda.

I thought he was Yoda's baby. Oh my God. Chicken Madden Jedi school. You know what? I don't kick you out of Jedi jail. Mike is so angry at that. When I said, when I said, when I said, when I said,

when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said,

when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said, when I said,, after all the work I did, that's what it felt like.

I give this idiot, this might give him all the lines and this guy, you can't just stand there and say him. And then now he's doing the deal or no deal, no deal. You do it, come in Mike, please. And just don't, don't mind Mike, because you, you're saying no, no, no to something. What are you upset about? Come in here.

So the baby Yoda, which is grown in popularity because of the Mandalorian TV show, yeah, that's not Yoda. Keep it fun. Oh, that's right. Which is quick. Yeah, okay. So, well, that's not Yoda. That's just the same species as Yoda.

I'm right. I thought that's, well, I thought he grew up, I thought he would cross that. I was trying to be like, that's not correct, Jack. No one's right. No, not surprised that was trying to be like, that's not correct, Jack. No one's right. No, not surprised that we're getting a lot of that. It's not correct, don't a star wars open up. Not a realm easily, more mistakes or easily forgiven. So, so, so, so baby goes to another of the species.

Just a cute version of a Yoda. Yeah, in the Mandalorian, but that's after the original Star Wars trilogy So Yoda is well and truly dead Yoda is good. Well, I won't spoil. He's real name, but it's not a spoiler No, because you don't find out till the last episode Grogu, oh my god, is he idiot? Why'd you spoil that? I'm not gonna watch that Thank you, Vig.

Grogu, what a great thing to hang on to. Yeah. And like, what are you, we didn't get to your rank, Amy. Like, Mike left. But most of the episode left on Cliff Hangars, where someone goes, and what's his name? Oh, I'll tell you next week. Yeah.

And remember, Baby Yoda's real name is coming up soon. It's Gary What was your recommend? As as luck would have it I was a master I was a Jedi Well, yeah, you are a youngling their Jack you You don't get cocky basically you could be is you know usually about, because I'm reading a book at the moment about the Jedi, two sunnganized, I'm well versed in this. Is the youngest three or four, the younglings get picked, even that's late, where they show promise.

They show promise, but by no means, does it mean you're gonna advance? I mean, it says, but I'm not interested in going to the school. I'll just do it on the school. What are you out? No, I'll pick it up. Well, it says here in my nose.

I've never known, again, sent by Mike. He says that you out? No, you're on the street. I'll pick it up. Well, it says here in my nose. Even Obi-Wan. Again, sent by Mike. He says that you are a youngling is force sensitive. Yes. So you can sense a force. A force. Jedi child.

But it kind of sounds like an intolerance of life. That's like a force, Neary. Sorry about my son. But Jack, force sensitive. I mean, if we were doing parent teacher interviews at the Jedi Academy and you and I came along as Jacks' parents to go, how's our youngling doing? Yeah.

The teacher, I think, would remind us, to tell Jack back at home, that one of the key traits of a Jedi is discipline, commitment, not being swayed to the dark side, IEW's length for products. Yeah. Just, you know, it's fine. Well, look how well that's worked out for.

I mean, it didn't heave some people defect to the dark side. So, okay, well, I dare again, I just don't think you should. I'm a terrible one. It's like slither and house in Harry Potter. It's like you've made a house for just the bad people. So if they're pumping out jet eyes and 50% of them are going dark side, then they've got something wrong at the school. It's a good point. It's a good point. You've been swayed.

You've been swayed. So that's what we say back to that, Jack. I will give you that. What are you doing? Yes, I will. I will give you that. In this book, I'm reading something at No Time about the Jedi and about the dark side of the force. It lists the attributes of both, and the Jedi is like, you know, true, just as discipline, courage, honor.

And you're reading that going, this is good, you know, what, let's choose that one. But then it goes and here's the traits of the Dark Side. And it's like, you know, unlimited power, fun. Yeah, like passion. Passion is one of the traits of the Dark Side. I was like, the magazine's stuff was knowing this is for kids. Could have thrown in a few worse traits. Yeah. I gotta be honest, when Sonny goes, I think I reckon the makers' stuff was knowing this is for kids. Could have thrown in a few worse traits.

Yeah. I gotta be honest, when Sonny goes, I think I won the dark side. I think I won unlimited power in the sequence of the universe. I kinda don't blame you, that does look pretty good. Uh, Ohio also aimed to Josh who used the easy to use system and emission-eity-dubblow what he's been up to. Oh, young man. Again, again, button pressing.

A Hoi Boys, Josh Frommel Jury here. Now, I build a coffee table specifically for my copy of volume 2P. I'm moves. Here's where the issue is. I forgot now how heavy the book was, and when I set it on the coffee table, the legs buckled and the whole thing collapsed. Nearly put a whole through me floor. Commemorations on the SB, superior book. Anyway, lads, I'm off the bunst

to get some solid metal brackets to reinforce the table and try again. Hey, Ruth. Good luck. Get titanium. We do get this a lot. It is a bloody strong book. It's huge value.

It's huge weight. In the weight equals value. Proposition, it's enormous. I even, I don't want to spoil the Mandalorian again for people, but in the second last episode remember how Yoda lifts the X-wing out of the swamp with his mind in Star Wars? In the second last episode baby Yoda tries to use his mind and the force to lift the Pound Moves book and any kind. Which fans in love but it is factually accurate. He wouldn't be

out. He wouldn't be able to move it with his mind. I forgot to tell you this. I've been doing the show at the moment, obviously, you're on heaven. Thank you. The network. Both been doing it. People have been coming on the show and having their power, who's booking the background, a little nod. And the network wrote an overall note. Can we please stop people pointing their power, barefoot in the back? I noticed it. I have not passed the note. Not a show user. I'm actually not calm if you want to book there

still a few there. Hey, we have to cover off this last week on the show. We mentioned that Duffy had digital horse racing stable that people feared was a Peter out. He was out. He was out stable trainer. And we were worried. I couldn't get on to him. He hadn't replied for text for months and we were worried that he'd stolen all the bitcoins

or a theorem that we'd given him, essentially stealing our money and running away with our horses. The good news is, that's not true. And so he joins us now to take up us on what the hell was going on. Do you feed, how are you? How are you going? Good, how are you? How are you? We're going to leave.

We are relieved that you're back in our lives because obviously we trusted you with some digital horses, some digital money, which came from real money. You did mention to me during the week that you did have some family situations so we glad you're okay on that front. But welcome back to the show. First question being, are digital horses still there?

They're all still there. They're still feeling a little bit restless. I haven't had a run, I'm looking at them now. They've not run in about six months or so. Yes, no one's run them. No one's run them. How many do we have? You have to imagine Jack hosts the horse

who was put out for sire how restless and the pressure he must be feeling since he hasn't been in the stud barn, which was certainly- He felt most at home. He will be explosive when he is allowed back in the system. Do you think how many horses do we have? Half-15. We've got 15.

You've got 50. Yeah. Wow, I can't- It was Jack. It was all Jack breeding him. Yeah, yeah. You couldn't stop him. It was, yeah.

It was the horse we had called Jack Post. He was in the stud barn. He wanted to get amongst it the most, didn't he? Yeah, he was the thing was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was, it was in the day, you know, you're like, you're just wandering eye. Couldn't stop him. No, I see you've already got time. Doesn't matter. That's what I'm here for. It's what stud buns all about. Um, doofy, I've already got the answer to this, but are you still racing horses?

I'm not racing them. Are you still racing out? Are you still having any horses with a hoofs up? I've still got about 20 myself or 15, 20 about the same. I drastically reduced the size of it to focus on some other things. There was one of the projects that I'm running a few at the same time and time ran out throughout the day and that was the project where I got bored. Have you had it out of your own Peter out you, have you, have you, have you, have you,

have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you,

have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you,

have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have you, have because we hadn't heard from you. So that's okay, kind of mirrored our Peter. But can I just say, Andy, for the record, this is not a Peter at first. It feels like a natural conclusion. Oh, yes. Because we are, we're capping it off. So it's certainly not the way we initially thought it would be going 18 months ago.

Can I ask a quick question here, Do you say you'd reduce the stable? There has been a crash in the the value of crypto, currency, Bitcoin, Ethereum. Did you sell out your horses before that crash? It happened just before, yeah. So no, didn't have time to pick up the old phone. Let me let the old, some let the other horse owners know that perhaps I went to his company.

If I had that much of a crystal ball, I wouldn't have left all the cash out in a derrium. Oh, yes, okay. Fair enough. So, do you feed our generation one digital horse, Thundercastel? Yep. He was our best horse. I mentioned to you that we thought we might try and sell that one and recruit a bit of money. Hedge go.

We had a couple of offers come through. I've had people sort of starting to reach out. I mean, look, it's up there at pretty much as cheap as you can get for that type of horse. So I'm sort of just the same strong on the price for now until we get to the point. So what you're saying is, yep, got a sale. So not a huge demand, because that's okay. Well, we'll try and get somebody back there for the other 14 horses. Are there anything of value in there? Yeah, there's a couple. Which ones? One has zero, zero Pino. That has a nice little win rate percentage out of its first 30

starts. And then there was another horse that we actually bred with. I think it was pizza lotto from memory. We're something to look now. We bred with one of the top horses. So that's also got some, you know, you know, you know, green-yooge value in that horse as well. What about any of Jack posts? I'll spring. you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know,

you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know, you know That is the Gordon Jacks real son if he's can't even live up the Jacks level. Father Sunroll. All right, let's sell fun to Castle Ham. Do a bit of recouping.

That sounds like people are keen. Yeah. Doof. We just wanted to say thank you. Thank you for joining us on this natural conclusion. Yeah, this natural conclusion. Thanks very much for your time, mate. We look forward to chatting to you soon

and getting it all sorted out. It's been awesome. Thank you. Keep us informed on all the offers coming in for Thundercastle. Thank you, mate. We'll do. There's a hot mark about there. For the rest.

We'll recoup on that. For the rest of them, we've got a special something in mind, don't we? And we wanted to, we thought, look, isn't it time to share the spoils? We've built this such a successful stable. And as you've just heard, as you as you just heard digital horse racing is booming and like as we all ride this rocket ship to the moon yep get a horse with us ride with us we want to give away all the remaining

horses open the barn doors smack them on the ass let them run out and let them move to your digital stable. We put the call out on our socials. But how do we get in the light? We're in the light. With the digital horse blitz. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUT [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ OUTRO MUSIC [♪ HUMBLE HOURS WOOOOOOHOURS The horse from Warhorse Is our favorite actor of all time? HUMBLE HOURS

RAPANY ATTEE DIGGLE HOURS DIGGLE HOURS GIGGLER HOURS PLITS Wow, no, it is a digital horse, but we haven't blitzed for a long time. It's great to be back in Blitz Central. The close horse disappointed not getting a mission.

A few sore horse didn't make it in there. A couple of horses left out, but the horse a very versatile animal shape. When you think about it, a lot of things named after it. A lot of things have four legs in a back. Which seems to be the condition that needs to be met. However, and we've got to give away our digital horses. People reach out to us on social media saying, you know, please consider

me. I'd like to stable one of your horses. Nick, a hoi to you. A hoi. If you've not heard of Blitz before shoehorn Blitz, 10-spinitz. I have heard of the Blitz. Okay, well, congratulations Nick, you are inner Blitz and you know that as soon as you get awarded the thing that is happening in the Blitz, a very relevant and well-crafted song will play to celebrate you getting that thing Nick. Yep, you got two. Congrats, you got a digital horse. So you put Tony to your horse now Nick. Everything is awesome!

Woo! Everything is cool in the sea, horse world. Everything is awesome! We just do another thing. Everything is well-entrilling, horse-and-a-fing-dissue. The industry is only looking up for Tyler. Tyler now. A hoi-tiler.

A hoi-tiler. You want yourself a digital horse? Oh, yes, you got a squirrels to make well done Manes horses and known to have them your horse will be he the same names Great song great farm Great song, great fun. And they only get to the house. And the next horse ready to leave the stable and have a new owner is the Simpsons guy. Oh, great. OK.

We've got Rachel, Rachel, or who are you? Oh, how are you boys? Happy birthday, Andy. I don't need you. Ranch, understand that you have to take good care of this digital horse. I can manage that We bloody will manage it mate because you've got the Simpsons guard all down you've got a horse Who let one horse in you you you got that horse

You, you, you, you got that horse, well done. Thank you. You got the horse race. You were the you in that song, you are the you, yeah, you let one horse in. We let the horses out. You let one horse in. Well, I'm like the unlike the dog song, giving some answers and some resolution.

They just spend the whole time asking questions. What happened to you? They don't ever know. They don't progress the issue. Yeah. Alex, Ahoy, do you Alex? Hi, Andy. Yeah, good. Now what horse would you like?

I'll give you a choice. You can either have a pizza lotto or beard boy. Beard boy, as I have a beard myself. Welcome to the club and I'll tell you what beard boys a special horse because Jack post was the dad of beard boy one of the many Offspring from Jack post the digital horses mad rampage in The stud barn so congrats mate. You got that horse. Thank you very much and grass made you got that horse. Thank you very much.

Oh, my from Jack. In the sack. Now it's yours. There's no going back because Jack the horse had sex. He's the best. Now you get his offspring to cherish. Oh, Slough even acceptable. Yes, except from Jack.

Well, let's give away Jack post. Let's give away the Randiest of horses. That absolutely beast. I need to be put in a reinforced barn. Ellen, what are you? Hi boys, how you going? You're good. You'd like a digital horse? I would. How would you like the absolute king of siring Jack post the digital horse? Oh, yes, please. horse. Oh yes please. Yeah. I have first feeling to say awesome. Thank you. You will give away the rest great blitz and nice to have something that didn't

Peter out but came to a natural conclusion. Hey, I'm riddison to bring this back up because there was course of a lot of discussion in the studio. We didn't get anywhere, but more evidence has come to light. So with regards to the possible fart in the studio that we all looked at, I remember that being you. No, no, it was no one at the end. We all right. We couldn't work out who was.

No, he's remembered I don't fart that often. Well, this is why we were like, he knew he could get away with it. That's why when you can't reopen a case without new information, the new information has come to life. So this one came in from Paul, heinestnade.com. He says podcast 184, The Fire Investigation.

I hope this lands on the side of justice. Yeah. Dear Hamish and Andy and Jack, I was astounded to listen to this in-depth investigation and realize a key piece of evidence was missed. That can happen. He said, you'll note, in the moment just before the fart is let loose,

that there is a preemptive sorry. I've listened to this several times, but I have with certainty that one Hamish Blake owns this by saying sorry before farting. I wouldn't do that. Giant floor. You know, learn your, do your profile. Well, so I've discussed obviously has not ever seen any crime shows. Profile you profile your your murderer because this this is not a murderer that apologizes. Well, let's have a listen and see if we can detect the moment where Hamish knows it's coming and pre-apologize. I have a I have a competing theory but let's listen. Ah, songs like what is the song's loop? What is the song's loop? Haven't had one for a year, I don't think.

No, I don't think so. Give us enough. Do you know what that is? Do you know what that's the start of? Me going, sorry. What's wrong? What you think? Yeah, I'm about to go, sorry, what's wrong?

I must have been looking. I know my sorry, and that's me noticing physical discomfort on someone's face. Now I can't remember who I was looking at but I think I can't remember I think I was looking at one of you did you Sorry, let's have a listen again. That's a remember. I just want to put this in his head. Sorry. What's wrong? Yeah, are you okay? Song's Song's what is on the song's leave haven't had one for a year. I don't think no If so give us another. You're right, man. You're right, man.

I just got in the far. Sorry, he's a little bit off-mic, which seems to make me think that you've turned your head to Jack. Mm. And Mark was the old studios, and sometimes I'd face Jack more. Really?

Sorry, and just sort of gave you that one. Oh, well, I think that, I mean, to me, that's slowly, well, actually firmly pointing back at Jack. Right. But then Jack comes back and says, he never farts. And that made me, and you know what? That probably is why just to sort of peer into it, because like a formula one drive, you're making thousands of calculations a second when you're in here, delivering, we can't deliver this.

This isn't just off the cuff. No. You just, the calculations are wild. If, if, you know, within a one millisecond, my brain would have been processing the following data. Jack looks uncomfortable. Jack looks like he's in physical discomfort. Yes.

Is it a fight? Yeah. My flow chart would have been going to this. Yeah. Is it a fight? No, he can't possibly be parting. We know he only farts twice a week. Next piece of the flow chart.

But what if it is? Yes. All right. Next piece of the flow chart, but what if it is? Yes. All right. Next piece of the flow chart. If it is, this is, this is, he'll be deeply ashamed. Next piece of the flow chart. Next piece of the flow chart. If he does let one go, don't react.

Don't make a big deal of it. Yeah. Next and rejoin. So that explains why you don't follow on with your thought. Yeah. But Jack, you would then maintain, though, again, that you only fart twice a week, and rejoin with your face. So that explains why you don't follow on with your thought. Okay, but Jack, you would then maintain though, again, that you only fart twice a week to the odds. Yeah, no, because I would be shameful,

that would be shameful for me to fart in the studio. And I would remember that. Yeah. I would have trauma from that. Oh, no, man. Unfortunately, with trauma, a lot of the time people bluck it out. I think I know where you're getting it. I think it is.

You're getting it, even. No, you're just such a low probability of falling people black it out. I think I know when you're getting it. I think it is. You're getting it even. It's just such a low probability that you're in a fun industry over for. Never, never for we have it. English team, English team. You just covered up. Interesting you say that, Jacko, because I,

I spent too long of that breakfast, so man. You're watching God down. The question's too nice. You got a, when Andy's teared up, you got to learn to pick it. Because Ricky Patterson wrote in, he said, interesting that Jack keeps leaning on the fact that he's never part of the studio. That's the cornerstone of his defense.

And it can't possibly be here because he only does it twice a week. I've been doing a relicin of late. He's a subscribe to Apple Podcasts. We can listen to any show we've ever done. Very good. On Thursday, the 20th of April 2017, have a listen to this. First thing I thought of was like Lylos or dingy's. So it spreads the load. What's that? I think Jack's fluff to guess. What's that? I think Jack's fluff to get. Jack did you fart again? He has, hasn't he?

This is derailed things. I thought we went off here. He excrued you nose up. I actually thought you did. Before we get on to Jack's fart, the lilac or the dinghy was the nose scrub for that or was it for the fart? It's absolutely for the fluff. Jack, you once admitted on this show you only fart twice

a week and you've done both of them today during the show. What's wrong? Yes, I hardly ever fart and I'm so bad at fart. I was saying Hayley's comment. This is incredible. I'm sorry Hayley. I'm sorry I'm being emotional but like I know. I just got... Why do you have to stop for me because Hayley's fart's every day. But I know he's smell of balls. Fools! Fools! Fools! Why do you have to stop for me because Hamish fights every day. But I know he's smell of balls. Balls, balls, balls. This is balls.

Classic offensive defense from you, Jack. I don't know. You've done a magical rarity in here. I feel like you do them all the time and we never step a foot out of Jack. Yeah, but Jack. Mine are chords. Yours are diamonds.

That's why you have to tell everyone what an exciting moment. We're fair and the diamonds. 13, 10, 60. what are your thoughts, Ham? You were suggesting... Well, I know Jackson nervous about the idea. LAUGHTER Can't get any jokes together. People are going to take your calls after this.

We pick up that suggestion, yeah. I'm so sorry, mate. Wow. OK, from five years ago, Bongshell and O. Legal Bongshell. Good to see the shows evolve. From five. Half of it came here. That was see the shows evolve. Yeah, half a decade ago.

That was after the Nradio. You can just get away with fart investigations. These days you're going to do better stuff than that. Here's the thing, Jack. You claim that I fart all the time there. Never do you hear a superemptive sorry. So why would I change my MO in that moment if it was me? Why would I suddenly introduce this man that farts all the time, ladies and gentlemen?

Why would he start putting in sorries before he farts? No, he noticed discomfort on a fellow man's face and he was cut off inquiring, sorry, are you all right? With another studio fart from Jack. Yes, I don't think so. And I think that obviously, I remember when you farted in a studio, you could hover off the top of your car.

So you can't toss your memory out of this. Because the very mechanism you're using to prove your innocence is the same mechanism that's covering up the guilt. Obviously, in that 2017 audio, I've had a bad day because I've ever farted in twice in one day. I've obviously got food poisoning or something. So I'm a little curiously cool. This man's father twice. Oh, gee, we have one of other stuff to do.

No, that's so bad. In one of our days, we're... And now, even if that was a sorry from you seeing worry on somebody else's face, there's no saying, if it was Andy or... And the size may never get to the bottom of the top. Here it's finally off my you're forgetting that and and I I don't think I would have you heard you heard me react when Andy screwed his face up before I stop everything.

Yeah. I don't just say a small sorry like that. I think I was over those. Oh no. Oh no, Jack. Let's listen more more. It was you. Oh,, oh no, Jack. Let's listen one more time. It was you.

What is now the song sleeve? Haven't had one for a year, I don't think. No, I, if so, give us another. Actually, you do stumble on your words, I'm shocked. Yeah, I'm shocked at you. And I'm going, I'm not, I'm not, don't embarrass him.

He's ashamed. Wouldn't it, would have met, would have, you know, would have talked to Andy about it. He's fine with it. We covered it off last time. I love to fart. He loves to fart. You don't. You're convincing me.

And I attended something the other weekend that's fun, fun but fraught with danger. That's fun and easy for me. Taking the kids to the snow for the first time. Yeah, when we were there mate Tim and he's got four girls who took two of the oldest. And I had my two kids, I was two dads, four kids. Well, the age spread five to eight, kind of all peppered in there. How is the equipment for all? Because there's often one kid who doesn't get off guard. Well dad, dad, I'm carrying it also.

I can do very, I can do close up. Oh, I'm carrying three pairs of skis. I'm talking about the basic warmth equipment as well. All-hired, yeah, yeah, yeah. All-hired. It's all your own thermals and then you go the higher shop, higher that. That's a long process. I mean, it's a nice. It is without a doubt. I can get to the snow as the biggest endurance event of your life. Forget the marathon.

Oh, forget the marathon. Forget you have city desserts and stuff. It's like, that's fine. You've got comfortable shoes on. Yeah. And it's, and you know where the beginning and the end is. It is. And you, you're aware of the course. Taking kids to the snow is just constant.

It's just complaint management, really. Like, from the get-go, even getting the day before when you're doing the fitting, like, especially because it's the first time. And I sympathize with the kids, because there's no fun in it yet. Like they're not good at it. They're like, they're like, it's cold.

My little girl's only interested in eating this night. Like that's all she's excited to do. Never been to the snow for it. It's gonna be just wants to eat it. And then you're, you get the, like they get them in like a onesie suit. And she lies, like you're like, is this fit?

It's like, yep, like I didn't think it does. And I'm so glad I checked. Because it was so tight, it was too small. Like it was too small, like, you know, like, like when Megan said that, it was that starfish. Yeah, it's like, Christy, it's like, you're not walking this. It's like, oh, that doesn't hurt too much.

And I was like, yeah, but you're in it for 30 seconds now. You're gonna be in this for three days. So just from the get-go, like, you're just trying to lie to them about the pain that they're going to go through, with walking ski boots and stuff like. And I know this is very, must be nice problems, but that's the thing you're like, what am I doing here? I'm going to go to all this effort for them to then turn around and go, guess what? I now love the most expensive thing you can do. So I mean, even in my head, I'm like, what

am I doing? Why am I doing this? This is dumb. This is, why am I getting them into this? Anyway, it was meant to be fun and bonding. And it was a lot of fun. But I reckon five. I mean, you see little kids on the mountain sometimes. If you go the snow, you see like three year olds like hammering it and you have a fantasy

that that could be your kid. Like they could get really good. Is that my center of gravity? But again, I know you don't really want it. You don't want it? But you like the idea of them, you like the idea of them enjoying mastering something. But everyone got it, I would say,

like Rudy, who's five, our little girl, probably hasn't quite broken through for the love of skiing. I ate a lot of snow, I ate an absolute ton of snow, but it hasn't, my ski jacket pocket full of mini cookies, right? Because she was like a mule, she would just stop, and then I would have to give her a cookie like a dog trainer. We can go, do with Henry.

So I'd be like, just get from here, we're in the car, but she got two and a half cookies out of me, and we haven't even got to the sun, snow, because she would stop on the stairs and go, that's it, I don't like, just get from here, we're in the car park. She got two and a half cookies out of me, and we haven't even got to the snow, because she would stop on the stairs and go, that's it, I don't like the snow, I'm not moving. She goes, I'm just happy to sit here and eat this snow. So this is car park snow. This isn't the snow, this isn't the snow you eat.

Like the snow would be much better, but you don't eat car park snow. The biggest snow eating adventure, and we're like, finally, we like, we battle through today to lunchtime. And everyone's having fun. You go, you get like your lunchtime, it's like, super in a bread roll, whatever.

We're the little place we can sit outside. Like, we're just, you know, just wrangling like, you know, I need to do a poo. That was Tim. You know what? And then, but honestly, I need a dad needed to go the toilet too. So you're like, everyone off the mountain, yeah, come on, like, stays off, everyone has to sit over here. Why, we want to stay outside. Yeah,

well, dad had two coffees. So something was to be outside. That's the reality. There's a whole thing about who's in, who's out, right now, someone's out. So we all, I kind of make it through lunch time. We're eating a man's in the city now. I'm like, this is good. Let the kids play these like romping around like next to where the eating area is. And then suddenly my son Yosey goes, Hey dad, we found ice cream.

I go, what? What? Because they're like digging in the snow and stuff. He goes, yeah, we found Colond Snow. We're eating it. It's yum. It's like, no. And I was like, it's sunny.

What are you talking about? I've told you about this, don't eat any, only eat white snow. Yeah, like this yellow, because it's not yellow, it's like brownie purple. It's like, what are you doing? Cause he was about 15 meters away. I was like, just stop, stop, stop.

Yeah, I'm coming. So I'm like scrambling up this incline. I'm like falling over going, shit, what is this? So I'm like, it's delicious. It goes okay, that's good. shit, what is this? So I'm going to be like, it's delicious. It goes, okay, that's good. It's not like, it's not yellow, it's not, it's taste good. And so I'm like, what is this? I look in this hole they've done.

And they've come across a patch of like brownie-ish snow. And it's from like a party that's obviously been there like, you know, two weeks beforehand and buried in the snow is a full can of mother energy drink and like spilled out into the snow and create a bit this delicious trapped in the ice tree and all the kids have found it

and they've just been eating energy drink. I've actually been warping into frozen motha that's been there for two weeks. After that, they were on. They were on. No more good boy, like Sanity Vs first. Back for everybody. I'm sorry.

It's awesome. It's awesome. MUSIC Hey, if you have a skill out there that you think should be recognized by people, it's something unique to you. Of course, we have the Olympics for fast swimmers, fast runners, but you're just as good at something in a niche area. Come to us. Come to us. And look, if you're like, hey, I can make a car, I'll levitate. All right. That's Australia's Got Talent. That's too big for us. And if you're

like, well, I, you know, I feel like I could sit for a very long time. Not good enough. So we're running that band. Has to be impressive. Has to be good. Not to be. And we do love that we've never heard of before. This is what we're here for. We are here with a long tail. We here for the nation.

Jeff from Chicago contacted us, HamishNanny.com, if you want to ask us about anything. And he said, his friends refer to him as the Grunt Master. Now we refer to you as the Grunt Master, and I've been not for the same reason. The Grunt Master General. I'm not going to ask you all right. He says he can tell any A-list tennis player from the last decade,

man or woman simply by the sound of the noise they make when hitting a power shot. Fascinating. He joins us now. Oh, how do you Jeff? Did I blow? Sorry, mate. We must have the wrong Jeff. We thought you were calling from Chicago, but it sounds like we've got a fair dink and blow from the outback. It's spot on. Jeff, we don't expect you to keep that up, but it was definitely a problem.

Jeff, you've got yourself an amazing skill here if you can pull it out. When did you first realize that you had this skill? I mean, obviously taking a lot of tennis? Well, actually, I didn't play tennis at all growing up, but it was actually from working in a bar for a number of years. You know, the tennis would always be kind of on the background, so just kind of going to the habit of being able to pick up on the on the sound of the very men and women tentifiers and just nailing it with pretty much an attitude and accuracy.

That makes so much sense because of my theory that I built in my head, which I now realize is wrong, is that you would often go and get snacks. You'd watch a lot at home and you are maybe going to get snacks in the kitchen waiting for the game to start and you would hear the game begin from the kitchen and come back and find that you were quite often guessing correctly who the matchup was. But working a bar makes more sense because you would have a lot of exposure to it without ever paying attention to the game. And often, particularly in American sports, as they do it very well, the service person doesn't really get to see the screens they're behind them. So it's all sound, but Jeff, well, Jeff, we have got a series of grunts here that we're

going to play to you, four out of five, Hamdurican, and he gets himself a coin. That'd be huge. Four out of five would be, we tried this this morning, and it's one of those ones where we often have a go, and we're like, this is no chance. This is a hard, hard one to do, but it is your area. Can we just clarify? We've picked some, like they're all big players. No one's changed their grunt over the course of their career, have they? You'd be shocked, definitely notify, especially for the players that get called out on it. I feel like start to temper it down a little bit

But but not too much sheeners and like it's a pretty confident Okay, great because we've got definitely like got big name players, but the audio we've got I don't think this gives anything wait sometimes it's from like you know 10 years ago. Yeah a match 10 years ago But they're still a current big name player. Yeah, that's that's an interesting. Okay. Well, I I mean jeez eight coin coin if you like, that is vintage Williams. Jeff, you ready to go? Yeah, I'm ready for the eight coin coin and for all the listeners out there definitely won't be following it on eBay after this call.

Definitely not. That's great. So then, by the looking out, Jeff, the Grunt Master, O1 on eBay. Let's Jeffy do a jack-o. Tch. He grunts, she grunts, he grunts, so what's Jeff's guess? He grunts, she grunts, he grunts, he'll know best. In your honor, we chose the presence of the United States of America because you've come from there. Jeff, we're about to play the first one for you. Good luck.

What's your thoughts on that one? I think I know this one. Can I get an air one more time? Yep. I think that the Serbian specialists, let's turn no back. Joe Betts. Unfortunately, it is the Scottish specialist, is to Andy Murray. Because it was, it's more of a... Eeeeee. Not a grunt.

Yeah. What would he... Would he play no back, Joe Betts? He was playing... Who's he playing for? Forera. Yeah. So... So it wasn't... It's a playing for a rare? For rare. So no.

So it wasn't... Jogovic would have been around. If I know, was it during a quarter final at Roller and Garras? I know my friend Chope and Jogovic would have certainly been lurking. No, that's what you're picking up on the... You need to now get four from four, cheers. Can we just say it's not, to to name today, and players that would have been in the vicinity.

Got a specialist deal. I agree. You know, Andy Murray, I'm familiar with you. He's got a got a boat. Right. So I didn't pick up the the ghost.

I'll give us the go. Give us the go. What do you think it sounds like? Ah. Oh, let's have a listen back to Andy Murray. Yeah. I think it sounds like? AAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAA! Okay! Let's have a listen back to Andy Murray, yeah? I think he might have just been doing a low goat. That's very much.

He was a low goat. He's right. It's a... AAAAAAAA! Not a... not a... It's more drawn out than an explosive grant. Anyway. Okay, um, Jeff, good luck. This is grant number two. AAAAAAAA! Oh, no. Jeff, good luck this is ground number two.

I'm no idea that I won a second time, one for two, that's Serena Williams, lock it in. Absolutely, love your confidence. I'd hate you confident as well as you, because it's actually Maria Sharapova. And I recognize that as the grind of Jeff. Yeah. Yeah. Jeff has a good on. Where's your deep disappointment? Sheepers.

Now Jeff, we're in an interesting situation where you could become the Simpson's guy. The person that is so bad at their special skill that they take the the wall of shame. However, it's hard here because we very knowledge that the very very difficult special skill will give you a deal with the devil. The deal with the devil is this, we play you two more. Yep.

You must get one of those correct to avoid the wall of shame. If you get both wrong, you will be on the wall of shame. Or you can leave now. Oh this is interesting. I mean no, I think we're able to do double or nothing, you can go double or nothing. Okay, now there's a deal with the devil. There's a deal with the devil. Both debaust deals. but the deal with the devil is you just avoiding the wall of shame, and people will be like, oh, he did get one. Yes.

You can leave now, and people will go, well, never know, he might have actually been very good. He just had two. Shade he starts here. But if you play two more and you've had zero from four, the devil will have your soul, and you will be on the wall of shame. Yeah, who currently has the position on the wall of shame, Mike?

Because it's only one person. So I'll let you go alongside other losers. We know we've got Jacobson. He's on the wall of shame. Yeah, shame. James, just tell me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've discussed him a lot.

Yes, along to Crawford. You better. Jacob's getting more of a run, doesn't he? But, yeah, there's only place for one person. Yeah, it's the fetching. Or is it the Framershake? I can't remember what was going on. It's Framershake.

It's actually the Framershake. So Joel and he had the word count special skill. Oh, yeah, that's right. Yeah, why not? Okay, okay. The frame of shame. Jeff, is your deal you would like to make with the devil? Or works for you, Jens.

Bring on the devil. You made a deal with the devil. Good loss. Okay, okay. Okay, is one of the last two. Serve by the sounds of things. Okay, can you get that one more time? Oh, no, maybe it's not a surf. Nice one. Oh, I think that's the banished specialist, Rafael Nadal. He's the same! He's the prime of shame.

Well done, I think. It's a successful deal with the devil. The devil has been shamed. It's just, I suppose it's being petrified that brings out the brilliance in you. Your pressure player? Yeah. Okay, do we go for number four, or has he proved, has he avoided the frame? Well, again, he's up to him. Yes.

At the moment, how about this? You play again. You put the devil in the frame. We'll put a picture of the devil in the frame of shame. If you miss this, you've avoided it and the special, the word skills guy, he stays in the frame of shame. So really now you're doing it as a favor

to help get that last guy out of the frame of shame. I'm a bit confused, but yes. I should warn you, can I shock you? I'm making this up. To put the devil was not a pre-discussed form, I see. You know, maybe she didn't eat raw food. I haven't quite got the exception for quality control.

Quality control. That's what people love about this sport. How exciting to see the devil now going to the frame of shame. Do you want to have one more? I mean, I hope the devil does plan this is going to be spending a lot of time in the pre-match area. I'm going to go to America and go to the USA. Okay give me one more second. You have to have a catchphrase. That's definitely a serve. Ooh, do you want to one more time? Yeah, tell me with it.

Ooh, are you bringing it back to the US? This is Mr. Andy Roddick. It is not. And the devil breeds a side release. Big? Sorry. Well, I can follow it. I don't know. You're listening back and you'll get it.

It's exciting. The devil's not in the frame. Okay. But neither is Jeff. Okay, and the guy for the worst, the worst deal in the frame. He's still in the frame, but Jeff is in the frame and that's the exciting part. Yes, and we were very excited about that. That was Federer by the way.

Federer, I'm late. Jeff, thank you so much for joining us. Never telling anyone you can do that again. But you're not the worst. You're not the worst. You didn't go in the frame. Congratulations. You have been the first contestant. I'm deal with the devil. We'll send you a token of our value. Thanks buddy. Thanks for watching.

Next week, catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.