Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 196

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

1. Celebrity Medicine Cabinet pitch 2. Power moves 3. 2 second banana peel 4. A jury of three 5. Watching a magic documentary with Zoe 

A list-naf production. Activate your internet. Cos the Hamish and the podcast starts in 3, 2. Sorry, still buffering. 1. A Hoi Timmy John, Amish. Thank you. Oh, John, you're good, sir.

I really actually had John's knowledge, somebody's solicits for prostitution. I thought there was a slight pause there. And I, and the look-o, can you guess what we are? And Jack is an undercover detective. What are we? No, that's not it. Uh, a hoi to me. Judas. Jack, okay. So on one of the bad ones.

Yes, all are. You're my friend who I go out soliciting prostitution. But you don't stop me. We don't have wives, we were going to play darts. Judas, come here, man. I probably should let you wives where we're going to play Dars. And you do just me and me. I probably should let you know where we are. I'm Peter. We of course. Of course. This is a puzzle today.

Yeah. And I've likely to only take back any notion that that's what they got up to. No. It's well known. It's well written down what they did for team building. And it was often a lot of sharing of ideas and meals. Even though you did have a lot of confidence that you'd be forgiven. Sort of a free pass.

But never used to. They didn't use it. Certainly doesn't say it in the bar. I mean, I haven't read the whole thing, but I feel like if it did, we would have heard about it. I mean, I haven't read the whole thing, but I feel like if it did, we would have heard about it. A boy all say to Dan from Belfast, we've uploaded at www.heimishnery.com very easy to use system, but what he's made up to. Hi, that's Dan from Belfast here. Before you start the show today, I have a proposition for you. I don't know how this has never happened before, but I want you to take Chet Chat Champions and create the Chet Chat Championships. I'm talking group stages, quarter finals, semi finals, the ground final.

We will have the literal Chet Chat Champion. See you. You know I think the one that is, thanks Deach. Yeah, we should get off the pitch with a mic drop in it. Yeah exactly. Like, here's what you do, guys. You take boxing, you take band-up for fighting. I call it UFC. You put him in a cage.

Yeah, you have five minute rounds. Anyway, that's my idea. Take it away from me. Well, there is good work. I would like the floor to start the show today if that's OK. Yeah. Because an ongoing saga got put to bed a little while ago, but it certainly fractured us for a while as a three.

And I certainly saw the most friction between the beard boys, as I'd ever seen, you guys have had a very strong reliance. For a second, I thought we were talking about hollow chickens versus a whole lot more chickens. That was one, but this one happened after that, where Ham Yuenai were trying to help out Jack by offering him a TV show idea.

Oh, that's right. That's why he wants this idea. Camel, I popped into my head this TV show idea and I said, Jeff, he's got legs. And the idea for the, if I'm correct here, and the refresher, for the refresher for everyone, it's called celebrity medicine cabinet. Go over to someone's house.

There's a few kinks we need to iron out. Like, it works best if they don't know you're coming, but they do know you're coming, but we sort of need them to play ball. Knock on the door. Oh, 20 goldsmiths. Hi. Hi.

Okay, let's pick someone else. Oh, you'd be the, you'd be the, you'd be the, yeah, hi, BRUKO, BRUKO, it's Hamish Nandy here. Oh, actually, we're not the hosts. It's Scott Cam here. Yeah. I thought I was the host. Okay.

No, you wouldn't even know the host. We're the production company, Joe. We're the final scene. I thought I was hosting it. No, part, owner. It's probably like Jimmy Fallon or someone that's like, yeah, Jimmy Fallon here, Someone was on it to do that. You were making a silly, silly, silly.

This is the business of television. Anyway, okay. Retake. I brought a book. Oh, hey, Jimmy, are you going? That's right, Barack. You pre-self, you ended yourself in and we've selected you for a celebrity medicine cabinet.

Oh my God, come on. Yeah. Okay, go into the bathroom. All right, let's take a smoothie medicine cabinet. Oh my God, come in. Yeah. Okay, go into the bathroom. All right, let's take a slow medicine cabinet. Okay, gee, a lot of cotton buds, what's all this about? Oh, well, you know, a little bit embarrassed, but I do clean out my ears and I like to clean out my nose. What?

That's really weird. All right, but we're learning a lot about you, et cetera, et cetera. We go through the medicine cabinet, creams, pills, for some of the stuff we most. Some that have been expired. Oh, you had that for a while. Is it. For some of the supplements. For some of the supplements. For some of the supplements. Some that had been expired.

Oh, you had that for a while. Is it cleared up? Oh, yeah. That's Michelle's. Well, it does say Barack, I'm actually, like, so a lot of good fun to be had. Pretty voyeuristic. You go through someone's medicine cabinet.

Everyone enjoys it. Now he said, look, Jack, we're not interested in hosting this. But the business of TV is there's a place you can go, you can sell formats. Yes. And so we went, look, me and Andy owned 51% you own 49 was that's what I think so it's what we offered. But you have to do all the work.

Jack you have to like go to go to the go overseas. Oh no package up get interest but we would all but the idea was would all go to Khan. Yes. You've been recently under to the this there's this big like TV. Conventional in the south of France, and you can sell formats. So, I was really looking for a way for us to go to Khan for me to not have to do much. Jack you'd organise the meetings, and the font and the packaging, but if we sold it, it

would just be a win for the show. Yes. That was the idea. There were the big game. Jack just kind of took, basically, tried to steal the whole idea for this. Oh, I can't really remember, but if it's got anything of how I feel now, like I would still be down on it. Just because like, all the work involved in it and we gave you the idea.

Yeah, putting it still out there. And we'll be at the meetings, but you can still own 49% of a million dollar idea. Yeah. So would it be fair to say that we've since cut Jack out? Am is that what we feel at all? From where I remember leaving it, I think we gave him a week. We said, hey, Jack, come back next week and present us with what I thought was going to be like a jingle credits, maybe a bit more of a fleshed out idea.

Just to sort of go, guys, I'm going to earn my 49% here, and I'm going to be part of the team. Instead, Jack came back the next week and he'd registered all the domains. And he'd like legally tried to push us out of the project, it was like a hostile takeover. So when you looked it up online, all the internet history was about how this was an original jack post idea. And if you heard any different haven't you know any were lying. So before we even really got business cards made, it was like a usurping and that's what was sort of dead in the water.

It's sorry about that. Since then Jack has. Oh, good move. Hasn't played his website domain. So they are now back and open for business to see, you know, I've had a look at that. But yes, as you mentioned, I had to go to this television convention really late. And I thought it'd be remiss of me not to pitch

celebrity methods and cabinets to as many people as I went around. That's right. I spoke to Amazon, interested. I spoke to someone at a big company called ITV, which is studios, they do a lot of shows out of the UK. I said, I've got to show you, he said, I've heard it on the podcast.

So that was interesting. That was aware. Or aware. I would say interested, I could say aware. I also pitched to Warner Brothers, a fellow called Adam Stymman, who is the head of Warner Brothers International acquisitions out of the US.

And I've recorded the pitch for you just to see. Just before we get to this, and I'd like to just check someone with Jack. Jack, are you still to use your words at down or on the idea? Are you out? You're out of the deal. I'm 100% out.

Yeah, I just wipe my hands over it. Even if it, good, best of luck to you guys and if it becomes a huge success, egg on my face, I just don't believe in the idea. Well, Clayte wasn't there for the pitch. Just thanks, Jack. So as you can see, I've got to admire the dedication to only doing things that sing to you. Thank you, if you're honesty. He is how it went with Adam. Okay, I'm here with Adam's Diamond. Welcome, by the way.

It's great to be here. Here's the concept. It's called Celebrity Medicine Cabin. So, Celebrity takes a host into their house, the host opens the celebrity's medicine cabinet and then farages through and asks them about all the ailments they've had in their life. So, for instance, ah, Chris Pratt, 10-year ointment, how often are you dealing with 10-year? Listen, this feels like through the keyhole to me, which rubbed up celebrities. I like it.

I actually think it's a clever way to do a chat show. Which celebrities buy in, do they? I think they would, absolutely. Yeah. So like, because often this weird drugs we don't know about, like, you know, oh, fioxal. Beyond say, what's that? She's like, oh, that's for, I get too much e-wax.

It helps kind of dissolve my e-wax. No, but I think celebrities want to, want to seem normal. Yeah. I think, especially in America, there's confession complex. There's almost this currency, this sort of value in being f***ed up. Yeah. I would consider this. Okay. Yeah. Good. I think it's a clever idea.

Thank you. I think it's a clever idea. Thank you. I think it's quick hits. Yeah. It's totally bingeable. Yeah. I think there's the potential for maybe brand sponsorship, maybe a bear or a fizer or a huge pharmaceutical company. Yeah, absolutely.

I take a serious look at it. Yeah, thank you. I think it's a serious look at it. Well, I've been there. I don't know. I all say that when look at it. Yeah, thank you. I take a serious look at it. Well, I bet that I don't they all say that when you smooth the first year. Do you hear the noise of the train leaving the station and you standing there? Yes.

Because it's sad. Little stick with the hangar chief tied on the end of it going, could it hop down that train? No one was checking the back freight carriages. I could have been on that train. So how do you success town? If you contact a bummer, I'll get on to Jimmy Fallon. Yeah, it's one of the key things you do in pictures to his big necks, like Chris Pratt and beyond.

Because when you picture that, I actually started thinking, that's a great show. I mean, you got the opposite. You don't see Beyonce talking about her tidium. I mean, that's, you got white horse. You don't see Beyonce talking about her TV image. What? What? What? But I'm like that he goes, that I would look at that.

Which is such a good American TV exact thing to say. Rather than, I am going to look at that. Yeah, I would look at that. Right, right. When? And will you? When? And how might we get to that stage? LAUGHTER

I mean, these ones still coming in real fast at homestay.com, which we appreciate, so let's get into Power Moose. MUSIC You want to pick us off? And this is one. First time we've ever had a redacted name or asking for anonymity, because that's how powerful this power move is it comes from

Someone who's involved in the court system. It's a legal power move, but it's so it's a government power move They were referred to it as they were registrar in the courts. I guess I was pleased to use my name or what court But one of my tasks is to sit in the court with the magistrate and run the courtroom. So when the magistrate is talking excessively and it's time for lunch or the end of the day, I wait for a break in their talking. I then stand up and confidently tell the courtroom, silence all stand please.

And as the entire room stands facing the magistrate, the magistrate is forced to stand and accept that the court is adjourned and leave the room. Small win for the staff. I love it. I do love it. We face a similar situation here during the podcast where we're like, oh, quite a way past 1230. I wonder, silence all stand please. Lunch. From Nick McCormackam, high fellers, an ice cream base power move for you. That's good.

It goes, where Kiwi's living in Melbourne, this is him and his partner. He is in my Australian aunt, he invited us to an ice cream in Belgrade, which is a 40 minute drive from home. She gave us the address of the place to meet her there. When we arrive, we're waiting for a few minutes on the corner, and then we call to see what she was, and she dissed on the call. I've been in Go on, guys, but enjoy your eyes,

Oh, we're all having an ice cream together today. We'll all be all be all right in our diaries that today we had an ice cream, but how, sorry, how I concurrently did you want it to happen? Really good one. Ando. This is a very, this is high stakes, this one. And it's for a very slick group, comes from Chloe. She goes, as you're lying on your deathbed, well, it doesn't get much bigger than this. Tell one of your loved ones

that you have something very important to tell them about themselves. Then die. Well, we've been questioning what it was you were going to tell them, even though you had nothing you could tell them. So, yeah, it doesn't get much to do with it. Just, yeah. You'd have to, I mean, I who knows what it will feel like as we take those last few breaths, but if you begin to get the sense like, yep, I can feel it coming on here. There'll be a small bit of relief to go, oh, great, I can do the move.

I can do it. Oh, come see if you do. It's a tough thing, Ron. If I go any, come here. That's something I've always wanted to do. You. It's nothing wrong. No. Here I go. Come here. That's something I've always wanted to do. You need to know about yourself. Yes.

You could have done it. You would have still seen your brother. Still see the pulse in your neck. Sorry, I thought I was going. Would you mind yanking that chord? Actually, and here's the thing. Just not going. I'm sorry. Can't get this time, right?

Great, if you can pull it off, great. This one comes in. Oh, you're wrong, boy. Oh, you're wrong, boy. Oh, you're wrong, boy. Imagine if you're like, come on, we do this. Look, this comes in from Guy, Powmoo.

When someone tells you about something, they've just purchased that they're very, very excited about congratulate them and then say you know what I've seen a ton of them popping up on Gumtree lately. That's really good. Um, don't mind this one. Ginnah, Ginnah give it a crack comes in from Nathan Nathan. It can work anywhere, but he says, best in a cafe, ideally at two person table, extra points if it's a four person table, makes it slightly harder if it's a four person square table.

When you sit down at the table, don't bring your chair in, pull the table. This is for you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yes, of course, everyone else at the table have been shuffling themselves over a bit, like film them in the business, they are.

So really harsh language there, no great move. I love it. Todd, one more. Yeah, let's go. This is from Isaac. Power move. When someone's talking about a movie, and I stress, do this for any movie, when someone's talking about a movie

that they've just watched that's really good to a group, say to them and the stress, do this for any movie. When someone's talking about a movie that they've just watched that's really good to a group, say to them, and the group, the book is a lot better. Doesn't matter what movie, this makes you look a lot more intelligent. Oh, wait, even if there's no book. Dude, where's my car? Ah, the book, the book, the book, the book's so good. You actually don't find it the last page for the car.

MUSIC And I... Mm-hmm. And as we mentioned slide parties back on. Yes. Who would have thought that? Who would have thought that? Hundreds of years after it was first discussed on the show. Do they still have slides? Do planes still have slides? I thought they may have invented another emergency escape, but no.

Just the whole... No, they've still got them. We're probably coming in here at the last piece of, the last bit of the slide here to be used. But it's still just as exciting as ever as we pointed out, excitement sky eye, strengthen your ankle order. Everybody, strap up your ankle, strengthen it now,

is that doing some toe raises, get your ankle strong if you are coming on the slide page. We also, you know, for many years on the show, we've done special skills. One of the things we like to do is to talk to someone beforehand and go, is it good enough to get you in here? Get a gauge of it. I've got one here that has nothing to do with planes. Just thinking ahead to what that show will be, where we're going to do the whole show from a plane that's slowly taxing and then at the end we jump down, the I assume we'll jump off the slide. You know, just

see if there'd be a bit of entertainment for the plane. It would be great to have a special skill kind of end the year with a fun special skill that everyone can watch. And so as I'm going through the emails, my that's the filter I'll apply. Would this be the kind of thing you'd like to see on a plane? No. That's a fast attack. And, Giana, must dress this has nothing to do with a plane. In fact, it's very much something you would never see on a plane for reasons that will become clear.

Mostly for quarantine and via security reasons. It's okay. But Connor writes in, he's 20 years old. He goes, I can peel any banana in under two seconds perfectly. Wow. Every single time. Two seconds. Without it breaking. Get out of here. Yeah. Quickly on an emergency slide.

Think about how fast two seconds it. So my question's to him, I'm going to be, because we'll get him up in a second. Does he mean that banana's completely out of the skin in two seconds? And intact. Just think about how fast that has to be. Yeah. How's he doing?

Is he holding it? I pull between the names. I would love to see that. That's what I'm thinking. If he describes us, this is the test for us. Let's chat to him. If he describes it to us in such a way that we're thinking, I'd love to see that.

I think it's safe to say, a whole plane would like to see that. And we could absolutely bring the house down. And having a banana or a plane is a rare thing. No, I'd take for it on the plane. It might be so great that planes bring a certain person on that can do this in any delayed moment. So if you go, sorry, your plane's delayed today, I was like, oh, but don't worry. Engineering problem. It means that we'll get to see a guy

unruppable. You get to see Bob the banana man. He's in town. We fly him around the guy. Come on to do a gig and call him an an article. Okay, Connor's here then. Let's get him up. Connor, I heard you. Oh, how are you doing? Oh, we're great. Oh, how are you, Connor? Hey, what's the first question you have for Connor? Is that banana?

First of all, is two seconds genuinely the time? Yeah, two seconds is like the average time. It gets better and it gets a little bit worse as well. But that's all that. You're pulling some two's? Oh, yeah. I'm a good, dark and pulled subtoes every time. Okay, how are you timing this? Because I also, in my head, imagining you,

we've ever seen competitive Rubik's Cubing where they have the cube in front of them. Yeah. They have their hands on the timing mat. As soon as they take their hands off the mat, the timer starts, they, you know, they didn't, we were just keeping like 10 seconds, put their hands back down on the mat, and that's the

time. That's how I'm imagining it. How do you, how do you time yourself? Well, that's where it came from was like used to be into room, excuse me. And then it translates well to bananas. Well, you've got the mat, you've got a mat. No, I don't, but I just get someone to time it for me. And does the banana start in your hand? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're burning it half a second, pick up and put down. And the banana start in your hand? Yeah. You have to. You're burning your half a second, pick up and put down. And the banana comes out intact, doesn't it? Kind of like perfectly intact.

Yeah, it does. Yeah. No peel attached. No peel, the banana just by itself, yeah. Any banana, like, is it to pin on the ripeness or? I'd say most of it, like if it's an old brown one. Yeah. It's a bit tricky. It's really soft or really young and the pale doesn't come off properly. Okay. At the end of the two

seconds on a good peel at the end of the two seconds, the banana is out of the skin. Yeah. No, it's banana. Completely naked banana. Yeah. Well, it might have underpants on it. You can't Yeah, well, it might have underpants on it. You can't get a shock if you say that. How many peels are you doing? Yeah, great. Three, four. Oh, I want to. Two.

Two hands at the time. Don't tell us anymore. I think it's enough for us to put, actually put him in a hole for a second, please. Yeah, he got here. I feel like we should invite him. I think it's absolutely what we'd like to say on applying. What a bit. But also I don't know.

Was he clear to you about, does it need the stem or not on the top? Go back to him. So you can hear you guys now, okay? Karma. Yeah. Do you need the stem on the top? It's easier with the stem, but you can do that.

Okay, okay. Yeah, I'll put it in another way. Describe to me you dream banana. The dream banana would be like a big stem on top and a nice long banana and then a big bit on the bottom as well. But not too greener would think because then you're not going to get any snap. No, not too green. Okay, so perfectly ripe, long stemmed long banana. Connor, what's the most amount of people you've done this in front of at one time? Oh, eight people, I'd say. I was practicing left side.

Okay. Connor, we've got a proposition for you. You may have heard that the emergency slide party is back on where we'll be jumping out of our at risk to our ankles, will we jumping out of the Rex plane and onto a emergency slide coming up to finish the year. We'd love you to come on and do it for the entire plane. That's if you have interest in going down the emergency slide. I definitely do.

We're now we're going to have a slide with lots of banana peels at the top for everyone to slip them in It doesn't produce more worries for angles We've got a banana peels here for the plane now it's become like a Mario Kart course Very dangerous for ankles this party Connor it'll be I think is it the first special skill with ever done in front of A live audience so extra patience, doesn't it? I think is it the first special skill with ever done in front of a live studio audience? It kind of has to be, doesn't it? Are you up for that? I'm definitely up for that.

We will obviously put you on hold and get the details and make sure you can arrive. One more question coming. Do you see this fact floating around from time to time going, oh, you know, open the banana from the bottom. That's how monkeys do it. Have you ever heard that fact? What's your response to that? Oh, if you're enjoying a banana, and I slow banana, I think the bottom's the way to go. You pull the little hard bit out.

That's a slow peel, is it? Yeah, a legia peel. Right, a legia man. If it's the off season, you're just doing it for the love of the sport. Yeah, not the sport. Yeah, right. So, but we do, I believe, you know, I always hear that fact and go, why are you, who cares what monkeys are doing?

Like they just let's run poo at each other. Like we are more advanced. They're not in competition. Yeah, we're doing it the right way, aren't we? Yeah. Yeah. We do the fouls the right way. And we? Yeah. Yeah, we do the false away. And we have iPhones. Where did it?

Yeah. Connor, we will see you in a few weeks time, mate. Thanks for joining us. Great. Thank you. Cut on your mate. Cut. What a guy.

Come on, wait. Some twos. Guys, could be a fun little segment here. Called Hamish Jack and Andy are a jury of three. Gone are the days of needing known. If you want a majority and one seems a bit unfair, go to the next odd number. So that is not a bad idea. Actually, I imagine it's deviled to get because with jury duty right, obviously send out the letter that everyone tries to wriggle out of it. Why me? You're not meant to be a bit bad.

They must, we wouldn't be the first people here, like putting ourselves in the judge's position. Like the judge, it's not their job, I suppose, to fill the jury, but whoever's job it is, did, you know, nine people. They must look at it from time to time and go, God, it was so hard to get married. Getting nine people to get it for anything they did. It's difficult. It must just go. It's so hard to get married together. It's hard even though it's compulsory. It's really compulsory under the rule to do it. Still hard. If we did threes, we were getting three times as many times. Have you guys ever been called up for it? Because I've wriggled out once. Have you really? I've never been, I've never been called up.

To my knowledge, there was certainly decades of my life, a lot of mail when I know. You're right, him. And you get out, Jack. I got a letter from the, well, this is when I first started at Gold, the radio station. I got a letter from the boss saying that he's newly appointed in the breakfast show and he can't take any time off. Right. That's good enough. That's good enough. They gave us a thumbs up.

Well, I suppose no one could take time off. Like, that's the point. Yeah, exactly. Was it because you're like communicating with the masses? Is it, if it's a producer on your show, would your boss have said no, I think it's because well, I know why they wanted to do it, because there's a brand new show, so they're like, we can't have one of them.

No, but that's under the nation's justice interest. That Melbourne, here's the correct mix of classic rock and banter from Christian and Jeff. Maybe the jury, or maybe the courts thought, if he's on the radio, maybe he'll talk about the case. So best look at it. I don't think they went that way. I think they gave it, I think they gave it real consideration.

I think they sent back a letter going, yeah, right. Is it an on air role? Yeah, it is. And is there any test shows as Christian? A few, they have great chemistry. Okay. Has he got his own segment? He's finding his feet.

Yeah, right. That is a critical part of anyone's on air journey. We won't take him. Maybe later in the year, we'll have a look at it. If you've got a sort of a regular segment, you can pre-record. We'll slide him in for a quick breaking and entry, but certainly not a murder or anything.

It'll take too long. And I'm still looking for that regular segment now. Five years later. Keeping you out of Djuria duty. Well, the regular thing we could be, Amy's jacket back. Andy, for Djuria 3. Judy. Well, the regularity we could be Amy's jacket. And you read the jury of three had to drop off something at my parents' house walked in on the mid

dispute. Yeah, right. And I couldn't get the details of it, but hey, I'm in jacket both the moment out well, but mum is disabled and she can't walk all that well and she has to tell just to to self-report every time she falls over right and Apparently she honest you wouldn't be doing good reporting. I'd apparently dad has questioned the reporting Who she reporting to dad He's he reporting No, I don't know sounds like an outfit for your Lee family rule.

He just wants a report to it out. What I heard was, but I didn't hit the ground. Right. OK. So Mum was arguing, I think, that, to be a fool, she has to have hit the ground. So she was arguing stumble. Yes.

Yes. Keep this one off the book. LAUGHTER Cassie. So what I thought is we should call Mum now. Yes, yes, this one off the book. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Poorly we can do fall or not. We think heavily about whether or not something approach the earth in the right way. Jack would you mind putting in one number there? One more, Dad. Calling now.

Margaret Lee speaking. Yes. Oh, Margaret Lee speaking on Michael's phone. That's nice. Yes, it is. And who am I speaking to? Your son. I also hope you might be able to pick up on it and hang me as well. Andy Lee speaking on hang me on Andy's phone. What do you want to do? We're here. That Margot hope in the rush dance of the phone. You didn't stumble or you would have needed to report that to Mike. And what we hear is the self-reporting fall system.

Is he familiar with the system? He is currently hanging out the washing. So I can't really, I can't tell you anything about that. What are you waiting for? You're so scared, you only talk about the subject. He's presence. What is Dad done to you? Well, this is perfect, Mum, while he's out the back.

We just wanted to get a full idea. Last time I was around, seem like you guys are having a dispute over the discussion, public, but more of it this we don't have disputes. We have discussions. Sam, I heard the mic was shaking his head. About what? About you if we go to the fore. Oh, yes, yes, yeah. The way it was reported to me, Mark, was Andy believes he came into the house on and heard a discussion between you and Mike over whether or not you had indeed had a fall or a stumble that day. As I understand it, you need to report those to Mike. Now, Mike was annoyed. Ted, you see. No, Mike. Okay, now, Mark, Andy believes he heard the phrase, I didn't hit the ground, so I don't have to report it.

He's been... That's exactly what I'm saying. So what we thought we'd start a new segment called Hamish Jack and Andy, a jury of three, where I'm glad we got you here, dad as well. Mum's meant to be reporting all falls. We're going to decide whether it was indeed a fall or not. So Mum, can you please tell us what happened? Well, I don't know which one you're talking about. What do you do fall? Yes, I do.

What would you classify it as, Mum? I don't want to put words into your mouth. If it's not a fall, but it's not standing up straight. What was it? It's usually a close call. Oh, a close call? Yeah. Okay. We've had plenty of those with our legal department here at the show. So your mentor report all falls to dad? Oh.

Yeah. Mom, you don't think you need to report all falls. Dad, do you think she has to report all falls to you? Well, when we go to the doctor, he says, how many falls have you had in the mum? We'll say, I don't remember any. And usually I have to remind her that she has had a couple of falls, even though it's a new miss, where she hasn't hit the floor. She's hit Anne or hit the cat.

Oh, it hasn't hit the floor. Oh, it hasn't hit the floor, she's hit air or a hit the couch. Okay, hasn't hit the couch. Okay, so Mike, let me see if I understand your rationale here. You are arguing that a fall is the commencement of the movement from standing where you're now just falling under gravity. Regardless of whether the corner of a bed saves your night, that counts as you were on your way, you were on your way to the floor, but you're lucky enough to be met by a cushion or a couch. Yes, well that's a fault. The doctor, even the dentist, your physio says it's a near-miss mark and you should report it.

Report it. So, what do you feel about that? I mean, what was the most recent one you were arguing over was in the laundry? I believe what happened in the laundry? Well, I was just going into the laundry and I managed to go towards the laundry floor. She doesn't want to say fall. I managed to approach the floor in another orthodox question. And do you think not worth reporting? Well, I think we've heard enough.

If you guys feel like you've represented both sides well enough, then I'm in dad. Yep. Yes, yes. So I'm right, but anyway, no, this is where it comes down to a jury of three. Jack, Hamish and I, we just have to say four. Oh, no, four.

Start with you, him. Can I say a bit more? Yeah. Oh, boy. I know Can I say a bit more? Yeah. I know, I know a member of the jury doesn't do usually do a closing summation, but I can't help but hearing in this relationship between Mark and Mike. You've got one, the very strict rules interpreter who'd like to keep tallies of things and report them. And the other a little faster and lessen.

I can't help but seeing a little bit of Hamish and Andy Margin Mike. And so I would be betraying the Hamish of the situation. If I was to say anything but a new miss is not a fall, it's a part of life. And I think if I think if Mark's, it sounds like she's clever enough, got the cat-like reflexes enough to know, look, yeah, sometimes you might approach the floor, but you always do it around the table, a sink or a bed. You catch yourself, nothing to see here move on. Life is for the living.

I say no for Jack. I should point out that I am full. I'd like all things reported accurately. Thank you, Jack, you've got the deciding vote. Mark, a close call is not a fault. Well saved. Thank you, Jack. I, so, who are my friends are? Which, that statement seems to think that I'm not. Yeah, I was bringing your sign around.

Me and Jack are in. Typing. Thank you, you too. Thank you, guys. Thanks for seeing me. Nothing to see here. Keep it off the books. Love you, buddy. Gentlemen. We have all been away for the weekend with our partners.

Now, often when you go for, like, let's say, quite recon you're in the country or something. Usually, quite often, and, you know, Have all been away for the weekend with our partners. Now often when you go for like let's say quite weekend You're in the country or something Usually quite often and you know maybe more so if you get kids, but the Saturday night activity is often just a relaxing night on the count Yes Now that usually comes with the prospect of someone nominating what to watch. Yes Great if you've got something on the go if you've got a series on the go But I don't know about you guys,

but sometimes for us, the Saturday night viewing, the weekday nights are for series. Yes. You see one hour of drama and a cleansing half hour comedy. Yes. You can have a very, very half hour comedy to flush. Yes. Or ideally even a 20 minute comedy to flush out the system

before you go to bed. That can commence it. If that commences somewhere near eight o'clock, you're getting towards bed by 10 o'clock everybody wins. Now on Saturday night, sometimes, especially when you're in a different place, the prospect of like, well, what if we watch some movie? What if we were something special comes up?

Now, Oswari recently was, it's Saturday night, and I was, I was, it was, it was like Saturday lunch. So it's sort of beginning to look at the evening, what are we gonna have for dinner? You know, like, oh, this is exciting. What are we gonna watch tonight? And I remembered that I had a friend of mine

and he gone, oh, there's a great docker out. And he, I'd forgotten the name. And I was like, look, a good docker, a good feature length documentary could be a winner. So it takes them, I go, hey mate, so what was the name of that documentary that you said was great? He writes, I think it's called In and of itself,

by, he goes, it's incredible, by a guy called Derek Delgado, right? It's a documentary, about a magician. I'm really glad to have it. It's about a magician, right? And I go, is that gonna be hard to get across the line with so it's in the magic? Yeah, right.

So I text back and I go, here's the situation, we're away for the weekend. I'll be putting this forward as the suggestion for tonight's viewing. I obviously don't know anything about it, so I'm putting a lot of trust in you. Here I was, I can go, couldn't be more familiar with this situation. I understand.

Then two minutes later, here I was, he goes, don't do it. I thought about it, don't do it. Don't do it. I don't want it on me. I don't want it on me. Good. You know who doesn't pull out, Ryan Scheld, now friend. Don't worry, we've got a rule about rise suggestions.

Right, you guys can't take one. I only floor. He's only floor. Yeah, can't quite trust his recommendations. So yeah, I go, I go right back to the, so for you to know what's the meaning of this, it is, I loved it. It's the most incredible thing I've seen, you know, in a year, but don't, I just,

it's too much, not just in for him, he's just like, it's just crazy to go in blind, he's looking at for me. He's like, if you throw a blind suggestion in it, so I'm laughing as we're like at this lunch and I go, hey, so this is what's going on. He said, don't do it. She has a bit of a laugh.

Then we're on the couch so much. I think because he had a laugh about him going, don't do it. Let's watch it. I was like, okay, well, this is great for you then. Because it is a documentary. I mean, if something's a great documentary,

it doesn't matter what the content is. We always talk about center. That's probably one of the greatest dockers of all time. You don't have to love Formula One. You don't even have to care about Formula One, but center is just a bridge. I watch one last night on a figure skating. There you go. It doesn't matter what is.

I would watch one on Harpest, but if it's the best Harpest in the world and they hang back from frostbitten fingers, you want to watch that documentary. And if the Russians cheated in a harp competition, they could fend it back, had a robotic harp or something. And then this Austrian harpist played hard and clean. And one of the international harp championships, like, that's a great narrative art. Sure. So I go, okay, so here's the thing. It's this great doco. I look online, it's listed as a documentary. Okay.

We start playing it and it's a guy that Susie's planning, it's like footage of his theater show. So he's okay, it must be opening with footage of his stage show. I mean, it's ways I've been doing this for 527 nights. It's a theater in New York. And he's okay, waiting for the bit like the talking head or the back story to kick in.

Oh no. Five minutes in it becomes apparent it's a filmed performance. It's not a documentary. So it's a documentary in the sense that it's an honest film in your piece of performance. And it obviously is a stage show of some renown because it's been going for five hundred and twenty seven nights. But I'm like, oh, this is not good. And so he goes, hang on a sec, are we just watching some guys show? I had it sold in as a documentary. Yes. But yes, this might be what it is, but having said that, you know, people, I had two people

recommend this, like a people rave about this. Let's stick it out. So he's doing some great, it's like a, he's made up of like this whole long story, it's a real performance, but within that, he's doing great magic, doing great, like close up card magic and stuff, which I appreciate. And so does not. No, I'm more with it. So she's looking at me. So he does this trick where he's talking about how he learned how to cheat at cards, right? So he's got a completely random deck, shuffles at like 10 times, okay? Deals out four face down piles just from the top, flips it over, he's dealt out all the suits. Yeah, which is impressive. Yeah.

So I go to say, that's pretty amazing. And she goes, why? They go, well, he's shuffled at 10 times and he's dealt out blind the suits. And he's that hard out blind the suits. And he's that hard? Well, yeah. Yeah, that's how she goes, well, I don't know magic. But you know, you know that that would be improbable. She's like, well, I don't really get it.

It's like, okay, well, let's keep watching. So the next thing you take up, like, let's say the pile of hearts, the 13 cards, they're all random. He's saying that he can make it look like he's dealing from the top, but he's cheating at cards. He's taking cards from anywhere in the deck. So he's got this deck of 13 cards. He goes, he looks at them, memorizes this random order they're in, makes it look like he's dealing them out one at a time from the top, spreads them out, he's dealt them in order.

And I go, okay, do we get that? Do we understand why that's good? She goes, not really. And even if I did, I don't know what I've got to watch a whole movie about it. This is not working. And about the 40 minute mark out of desperation, I start pointing out people in the audience that look like they're having a good time. So every now and then it cuts to the audience and there's like someone that I think Zoe would like. Like like a woman with similar style to Zoe.

I go, she's having a good time. I was like trying to keep her in the feeling like she's missing out because the girl on screens having a good time. So maybe you can have a good time. We kill it at 40 minutes. Like it's an hour and a half. Zoe cans at 40 minutes. Does that mean you don't watch anything like is that, is that when you're in the night?

No, no, yeah, we kind of relanced the night. We probably pivoted to something else like a survivor or something. So that's it leaves a bad taste amounts. During the week, I watch the ending. Okay. Okay. And it's amazing. It is amazing. And I do recommend this. This is like almost just for the ending itself. Okay. But we're not doing it for a date now. Well, I, I loved it. Right. And it's quite moving at the end. Like I you up, like it's, you know, I think it's bigger than magic, but I don't want to oversell it. Anyway, because I've teared up,

I tried something last weekend that no man on earth has ever attempted. I resold it. You still have no hope. No, no. The boldest thing. Ely once ever done. You said, DeZoe, we're going to have to watch the end.

You're going to watch the end. So I go, can I be honest with you? When's the DeZoe, we're gonna have to watch the end. You're gonna watch the end. So I go, can I be honest with you? When's the night where you're out? I watched the end. I cried. It's good, honey. I think you do want to see this. She's like, mate, it's, I don't like it.

I was like, well, I'm insisting. I'm insisting we do it. We go back in, the nerve, like it seemed like a good idea. My nose was sky high, any dull bit, We go back in, the nerve, it seemed like a good idea. My nose was sky high, any dull bit, like any bit where he's like pausing for dramatic effect, I can see Zoe like reaching for a phone. It's like not in this.

So fast forward through, like give her the gist of what's going on just to get to this end bit, hoping she'll cry. It's a KO mini. Oh my god. I wish she said it a seven minute version. So we get to the end and I like, settle it down. I set the scene.

I think I do a pretty good job and sort of show the last, you know, several, eight minutes and Bill Gates happens to be in the audience. So I try the trick again. I got, we'll Bill Gates, like, he's there. He's there. And he's, you know, just like, kind of, you see, you get a glance of him. So we do the end, like we go through the end and it's just like a powerful moment,

look over, she's crying. And I go, well, what have we learned? I think it was worth going back. Wasn't honey, just like, oh, give me a breakman and pre-menstrual cry at anything. You're not going to be able to do it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I can't win, but I give it to people with a two-cry guarantee in and of itself.