Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2022 Ep 200

Episode Date: November 30, 2022

1. Welcome to the biggie! 2. Loose ends 3. A sub-2 banana peel? Connor's special skill 4. Tell Us Someone We Haven’t Thought Of In A While 5. THE SLIDE   6. Government agent 

A list-nuff production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and the podcast starts in three, two... Sorry, still buffering. One. Hello passengers, and welcome to an event seemingly decades in the making. If you'd like to hear the first time the slide body was mentioned, you need to go back 18 or 19 months. We are boldly attempting to laugh in the face of some pizza out.

Faded out, faded out, and has come roaring back. As finally, all pre-fright checks are complete. Fight it out, leave it out, and there's come roaring back. As finally, all pre-flight checks are complete. Is it about the slides? Oh! And we get ready to take to the skies. Or rather, the road before the skies and then the hangar. Eh. Farsen your seapults.

Administer one last piece of protective strap and take your ankles. And get ready for Hamish and Andy's slide party. A-lite. Ahoi to my PIC pilot in command. Comonly notice Captain Hamish. Reporting for Judy or though, you would report to me, probably. How are you?

I'm good. I've hoi to my S- How are you? I'm good. I've hoied to my SIC. Second in command, commonly known as his first officer, Jack. Sixth in command, baby. Sixth in command, baby. I'll just be cabin crew today, but yes, we are on a biggie. And thanks to Rex.

Should we all, can we also say, an ahoi to everybody else on the plane? Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Making dreams come true, if you had a specific dream which was to go out of an emergency slide in a plane. Here we are, we're in row six, very in touch with the common man. Yeah.

Oh, must be nice out there in business. Yeah. Oh, then although you've kept the curtain open, which we appreciate. I think it's only because we haven't taken off here. All right, okay. No, that's definitely. You may look back upon those that you have superseded. And we're set up here, Andrew.

We're about to taxi out to do the business of sliding. We held up the bell that we use on the show before. Yeah. Huge cheer for the bell. It didn't realize it was such a hero in the show. Oh, I mean, watch this, let's hold it up again. Hey guys, the bell! Yeah!

It does indicate that they would like the break to finish more often than not. Yeah, he's getting the bell, it's nearly over. Our ramblings go too long. Hey, moments ago we bought the plane, you made your first ever, well, we made our first ever address on the cabin on board system.

On the phone. Yeah, let's have a listen to how that all went down. Oh, ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain's hats, wearing friends, hey, mission Andy speaking, welcome to this beer inaugural. And probably and probably we'll taste it only. I don't think we're doing this every year. The inaugural Paynish and Andy. Slide party, please.

Please ensure all your baggage is stored and your ankles have been strengthened. Last ankle exercises, please do them right now because you're going to need it at the end of this line. Today's flight will not happen. We are just going to push back and get a roll slowly to the hanger at which point there will be one of the doors open and you will slide gleefully onto the concrete where your ankle will be easily absorbed, the velocity of your body and you shall walk away with completely intact ankles Almost certainly. We've been told not to use the term evacuaries So I'm just gonna ask you what what should we say when we're about to deploy the slide

Okay, we're not gonna use a vacu, of course, we use the term hop-off quickly. So once you hear us say hop-off quickly, three times. Actually, at your leisure, we'll wander up here. Now, normally, we would say do not take your valuables with you, not because Jack will be a last man off the plane today, just to avoid any chance of wheezing from Jack going well I mean they have the season one because they didn't take the rhythm to take absolutely everything that has meaning with you otherwise if he is. Slide well, slide through, we'll see all the other interviews.

Hey your ankles, be firm, good job. All right now we're back in the seats as we're about to taxi out to the hangar. Good leg room. Great leg room. Big, big in leg room. I think he's more than I would normally my knees would touch the seat. Yeah, you touched the back, yeah. On a biggie, it's a roomy on a biggie.

Yeah. I guess is what we're learning. World-odd Rex. I mean, there's so many amazing, we've got so many amazing listeners of the podcast on board. Already some great barbs being thrown. Yes. You and I got Captain's hats given to us by Rex.

Jack desperately wants to. No, I don't actually, well, I do. You do, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,, but we're actually the professional. No, no, no, no. Looks like the ones they give to children. Well, you're spending the captain's name because of the room captain's hat. Jack's gone, oh, how come I don't get a captain's hat? And just across the island, see if I'm not mistaken, came the comment, well, it's just a hobby for you. So why would you get a captain's hat? I mean, this is a career for us, Jack. Yes. Just a hobby for you. So why would you get a cup of tea? This is a career for us, Jack. Yes. Just a hobby for you. Also, Sam, who's sitting behind us in what's that seven F?

How's the anticipation? Sam. I was very eager to be here today. It's huge. Sam, can you pass me what you've put in every seat pocket in the plane? We're headed for that. Oh, look at this.

Everyone had it with their meat pine sauce. I draw Sam napkin ninja the plane. Oh, what a flashback to when I bought 50,000 ammunition Andy napkins. And we didn't know what to do with them. And we did know what to do with them. We sent them out to napkin ninjas like Sam. Obviously in bulk because he's filled the whole plane with them.

Slave of selling waiting. Also my wife wanted me to get rid of him. So I thought I'd bring him along today. Ninjas are under many pressures. I'm familiar feeling for, my wife wanted me to get rid of him, so I thought, I don't bring him along today. Menges are under many pressures. I'm familiar feeling for you with a wife wanting you to get rid of impulse purchase. Great to see those, Sammy, well done. I mean, we're just pushing back now.

We're rolling. We're rolling, we're actually be told to a hanger nearby. Before the very rare, do you get a whole plenty of yourself? Obviously, Chris Hemsworth, Oprah, she would experience this, but I doubt that they would get full access to a slide. So it's just nice to be better than Chris Hemsworth today. It is isn't it? Hemsworth's not sliding off his plane.

And I think, as we heard, the excitement of knowing that very soon, those famous words quickly hop off, quickly hop off, quickly hop off, just like the movies. Just like the movies will echo throughout the plane and we will quickly hop off quickly hop off just like the movies just like the movies will echo throughout the plane and we will quickly hop off down the slide and your last man out Jackie you know I was so you didn't tell me that but only for the first time over the

announcement all the captains last but yeah we thought these captains should go off first that's what that's the opposite to what the get soley yeah that great movie about the captain who landed in the Hudson River. He actually waited till last night. Sorry, I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry, Jack. I'm sorry we have Jess. Good on you Jess. Just like long walks on the beach, margaritas and having a good time. And for those that are interested, Jess is single. Woo!

Good to see you. Wonderful. In the middle, all the way from the tropics of Norfolk Island, we have our Tahisian princess Cindy. Cindy is also single. What? Oh really, we're a single reply. We have Ash from the land of the long white clouds. Princess Cindy. Cindy is also single. Wow, really? The single replied to the man.

To the rear we have Ash from the land of the long white clouds. He loves the man in uniform and Ash is also single. What? Alright, that's the man. I had this fed in the hangar. I had this fed in the hangar. In the rear we have Julia and guess what? She's single.

And we've got Katie, but she's married. Oh, can't wait a moment. Yeah, can divorce. Now that we've got your full attention, we'd like to demonstrate the safety features of this Boeing 737 aircraft. Oh, so yeah, we know that. It is a requirement to follow crew instructions

at all times. If an evacuation is required, all cabin baggage must be left onboard the aircraft. Oh, it's a baby boy. In your seat pocket, you will find a cabin safety information card, which shows the race position and other important information on what you should do in the unlikely event of an emergency. Very likely actually.

I think it's a certainty. If you guys don't deliver on this, we'll be particularly far from the low and tight around your hips. We still have the best seat belts in the class. We'll make a buckle like this. Two Titan pull the strap outward, there are eight emergency exits on this Boeing 737. Woo!

Which you'll be climbing down today. Yes! How about these out? Your crew will now demonstrate how to safely exit the aircraft using the slides. Woo! Yes! Upside and lean slightly forward. Place your hands on your knees with your knees and legs slightly apart

On reaching the bottom of the slide stand up and move well away Please observe this person that seep on sign when the seep on sign is eliminated You must remain seated with your seep on mark this is a non-smoking flight First office from Stirling It is a federal offense to smoke onboard this aircraft. This includes the police. And the police. No detectives and alarms have been fitted in the lavatory.

We do thank you for your attention and we hope you enjoy your Hamish and Andy Plain party. Yeah! Incredible. You heard that Andy. You have got, we've got hundreds of eyes on here watching you if you go to the toilet. There are smoke detectors in there, e-cigarettes, vapes, even if you scrunch one up and eat it. We'll know. I have never smoked in my life. You haven't smoked yet on board, and I thank you for that.

It's both true. Look, we've got to thank Melbourne Airports and Rex because this is actually much harder to pull off than we first thought with a lot of our ideas. I like that. When you realize the logistics, they actually have to get a little flight, push away time. Oh, yes. And there'll definitely be like a quantus plane behind us or something that's like, what are these guys doing? Sorry, we're just going to hang it for a slide for shits and giggles.

But they did send food to everybody on board the pain, a few rules about the sliding. Yeah, they did. To ensure no puncturing, no jury. I've chosen a tracksuit pant to slide in today, where you prefer a jean. I've gone a jean because I like to simulate a real world environment.

Yes. And I often travel in a jean. How about you, Jack? I've gone jeans, but I've gone a comfortable walking shoe. I feel like you've got too much of a fancy shoe on. That's just a regular kind of a Chelsea, like a Blundstone type boost. I feel like your ankles could easily roll in that way. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I've never seen you wear those sneakers in your life. Did you bring all my sneakers? Did you bring expendable sneakers? No, I like these are my new favourite pair of sneakers. How long for? Ah, two months. Do you buy them online?

No, I went to Rebel Sport. Right, so you can phase out. Well, I actually went to the ASICs if we... No brand association. No, no surprise. Is this your engineering brand name? I had to pay full price for them, but I went to get Nike's out of this

and she convinced me to try these on. She said they're a lot more comfortable. And are they? They are. Okay. Okay, great. Um. Ah.

Ah. Ah. Ah. Ah. I'll show you in a few more minutes of taxing. You think it's happening? Ah. Ah.

We had a few more minutes of taxing. You said you'd check. LAUGHTER MUSIC MUSIC I'm episode 200. We said we'd do 40 shows for 40 years. Eightes the way through. We're getting there.

We are now. We're back in row 15. There's been very far in for you, Jack. Yeah, Jack. But I've spent way more time at the back of the plane than you got. No, because of your back problems, back. It's been way more time at the back of the plane than you got. No, because of your back problems, you insist on going business class and then you weasel the free ones through the bankers uncle. Come on, back.

Don't make us expose it. Remember? Yeah, but domestically I always go economy. Yeah, okay. Of which we'd recommend Rex now doing big east. Absolutely. Also, we'd like to thank Melbourne Airports for being us together wherever you are in the world,

trying to use Melbourne Airports. LAUGHTER Even if you've been connecting through it doesn't matter. You're absolutely wonderful. No matter what you're doing, thinking garage doors, think Melbourne Airports. Doesn't matter what product.

Looking for a comfortable shoe this summer, think Melbourne Airports. Lewis Ends. Well, actually not that many Lewis Ends. What product? Looking for a comfortable shoe this summer? Think Melbourne Airports. Loose ends. We're actually not that many loose ends. We're a pretty efficient show. Well, Peter out there will be plenty we ignore. And we won't bring him here, but Loose ends. A lot of people have been emailing me asking me

what happened to Wolffish. Yeah, it was upside down for a while. And I had sarsing at the moment. I had sarsing at daily to try and get it to fart. Did I mention you guys that it had to have salt baths? No. Is that just the ocean? Just putting the ocean. Let it go. Let it go. So the next bit of advice from the fish fit, who again I think has another job because he operates after hours, you got to give it 90 seconds salt baths. So in between massaging it I was giving it salt baths.

It did do a fart and right it itself. But then that big was the fart. And one bubble. Yep, no one here enough to impress any of you. No, no, no. And then when 48 hours later, it left. That was his last gas pit left. This world now.

Rust and piece. So the fart was keeping you alive. LAUGHTER It was the you the life. It was the fart of life. Oh, that might have been a satisfying that this was like, they've done it all. That was the bucket. That was it's soul. Maybe that was it's soul. I thought, well, that's it. I guess we will put it in the bin or something. But yeah. No, no, then that isn't this where the fish that comes in and goes, I'd like to offer you the $1200 fish burial service. If he had, Beck would have taken it, but Beck was very upset, as you know, she can be quite an empathetic person. Sure. So she insists on a burial down the coast. So we had to

travel with a fish down the coast to the beach to the beach. That seems cruel. Yeah, it's where you would have wanted. You spent your whole life dreaming about this place. It's a very tricky parking of 40 meter. Oh, Jess, it's a very narrow spot. So we're just adjusting the national. It'll be too much longer with the pad.

Oh, yeah, no worries. We're just doing loosens. He's tying up one of his own. So yeah, but that is true. We're just doing loosens. He's tying up one of his own. So yeah, but that is true. So isn't that sad for the fish to go? I've dreamed of this place and you kept me in prison in a glass jar. That's why I'm looking at all.

You go how nice to suddenly return to somewhere that you should have been. Yeah, that's okay. And Beck buried the fish in a Dior box. Oh my God. As I must be nice to be a fish. And then I, as I dug the small trench and tried to make sure the dog didn't get to the fish, as we pat it it down, it was under the earth, Beck turned to me and said, can you say a few words?

Such an expecting, but that's what happened to Wolf. I did say a few words, not worth repeating, because I can't remember them. Would you like to say a few words? Yes, I would. Without smirking. No, then I can't. Okay, any other sense? Luce Ns, since we're talking about Peter out, had a few questions already on board, what is happening with our stained glass design for St. Peter out? Yeah. Are any churches taking it? Are we making the small amulets, the small necklaces that would indicate to other members of the sect, the U2, are a fan of grand promises and then sometimes with a limited follow-through.

Can I just say absolutely still on the front burner. All systems are still firing on all cylinders there. Really a lot of thinking about that. Leap to think. That's still a going concern. I'm not giving up on St. Peter at. St. Peter at is not a Peter out there. Let's get those necklaces in 2023. Woo!

Woo! I'll take it. Amy loves it when we're doing something in public. There's no matter what he does, he yells out and says, whoa, and then it finishes whatever he's discussing. But you got to remember, I'm dealing you with people that are fans of Peter Outs. So for them to even do a woo is huge.

That's true. Anything else? Yeah, a lot of people asking about the chomp choir, but we know that we absolutely just didn't go ahead with that. Yeah. Took those teeth out. I mean, to be honest guys, that one stage,

that was a front runner for the last show of the, remember the Chomp Quiet. How much happier are we were about to go down a emergency slide than at the Sydney Chomper House? Yeah. At least you do. What was honestly 11 people? Yeah.

Go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jingle bells or something. Just doesn't have it just doesn't have the fix. So yeah, I mean, that's why some Peter out to great. That was an absolute, that was a wonderful pair of this year. Never loose end. Dyson never came back to us. I was going to bring this up. I wondered at what point there's a weasel request, turn poisonous. And when can we start having a go at Dyson? I think we do, yeah. There's something in the window, right?

Right, because I'd like to have a go at them. Have people seen that ad where there's the laser that like illuminates, you know, like the laser detecting? Yeah. It gives the impression on that ad that it is like detecting, scanning the floor like a cyborg going back here, over here, back here, over there. It's just a light.

Yeah. It's just a light. I mean, am I wrong in going, I got excited when I saw that I had thinking, oh, it's got like technology to scan the floor. It's a light. It's a light. I mean, even if it was scanning the floor,

if it saw dust, it just suck it up anywhere. It goes, it illuminates the dust in That's what it just suck it up anywhere. It just suck it up anywhere. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up anywhere. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up.

It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up.

It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It just sucks it up. It floor level. I think we just back it up from here and we'll call it a job done You move in the full thing around anyway, so Dyson is plenty more with this Yeah, this is just the team of the high spec when it comes to my problems with you. So get us on site You're on alert or 2023. We will put out dust bags of criticism on reverse and we will fill up the room with a huge cloud of problems

And all the lasers in the world couldn't stop us. Our management got sent this ham. Just found out that Hamish and Andy have been reaching out to Dyson for the cordless vacuum for a while now. So she was aware. My client, Millay, would love to come to their rescue and offer the tri-flex catindog HZ2 cordless vacuum. Just to Hamish and Andy? I'm sure you get one to Jack.

Make sure we can, can you rip her just before you. Please let me know if you think Hamish and Andy are interested. So are we just Hamish and Andy? Yes, that's the money. I think they mean the Hamish and Andy show. And members thereof. It doesn't say that. No.

So do we want to go back to Lauren from Millay? Millay, Yinez. Or do we want to just stick with kind of bullying, Dyson? I think this really puts it in Dyson's court, doesn't it? Okay, you've got Millay's interested. We're skeptical of the laser technology. Yeah. We're swayable.

We've got a government mandate of break coming up, but it gives you three months to ever think about it. Yeah. I mean, if Mila could sneak one forward because that would be a good present for Mila. Yeah. And I'm not just saying this, but I am already pro Mila. What a great coincidence. What an interesting time to air that factoid.

What other? I have a melee oven and it does a great job. Well imagine no longer do you have to put the dog in the oven to get its hair off. Now there's another melee thing that can do that. How many other losing? Look at tiny one. A few people asking, like, is the hell, is the hell start rating investigation still going? Of course.

My answer to that is always, all right, this will never be a closed investigation until the hell start people came out. Bye, Rasha. You just keep an eye on them. I'm just always looking, guys, we can't ever give you really a clean ticket until you come out and go okay

yes we either make it up or we're having a bit of a laugh or this is we hellster not Russia being cheese if we could get Putin on the show saying that like yeah okay we made up the B-decks too I mean the slide will be great but if short and mission from Putin will be huge as well for the show 200 but when the hellster people's short and vision from Putin will be huge as well. For the show 200. But when the hell start, people come out and go, okay, there has been dodging us at play. Then perhaps I'll stop this intense pressure. Until then, I will be bringing evidence like this to the fore.

Ooh, a new one. Yeah, great. This, I've got two competing packs here. Two packs of the same product. It's the berry quelch frozen fruit juice icy tubes, like you put them in the freezer, give them to kids after school, all the grownups, if they hang over. Oh, whatever.

You've got, in one pack, right? Tropical flavor. Okay. I'm actually just gonna use a bit of all-in-the-participation here. What's your name, eh? Hey, Mish. Oh, you're the best. You recognize you from the beatings.

See, it's like a plan. That's mine. You're not from the Hellstar, are you? Okay, so can you have a look, tell us what you can do on the top picture here. How many stars? Five. And what's the flavour? Natural tropical flavours.

Okay. Now, have a look under here. Yeah. And again, same product. Yeah. What flavour? Four shadowing. That's 2.5.

Oh, that's saving up for the end. Sorry, sorry. Come on home. What flavour is that? The flavour is Apple Berry. 2.5. I'm saving that for the end. Sorry, sorry. Come on, Owen. What flavor is that? The flavor is Apple Berry. Now, Andy, guess how many health stars? LAUGHTER

When I drop... When do you hear this nonchill? How many health stars? The Apple Berry flavor is compared to the tropical and their identical products. Get ready. Yep. 2.5. What? What are the health stars? and their identical products. Get ready. Yeah. 2.5.

What? And the half stars. And look at that. It's the same product. 99% fruit juice in both of them. They're four natural flavors. How is this happening? Yeah.

I mean, I've got, again, no answers, just questions for the hell stars. Yeah. Some people claim, remember the hell stuff people said, I know we changed the algorithm And that one might have been produced before the change over I don't think so. How bad is your algorithm?

There's half the... You're two and a half stars off Yeah And meanwhile, super duper bubble gum milks still out there getting four stars Yeah Poor old sailor cream's getting the half What's going on out there? We can't stop and we won't stop.

We won't stop. Who does the health stars? The government, right? Yeah. Who are the mungrels that shut us down for three months every year? Yes. Who are they? The government.

Yeah, the government. Now, you look at this and you go, because we dig and so deep on the health stars. Maybe that's why they're shutting us down. I wonder why they shut us down. What are they doing for three minutes of the year? Silencing us. Silencing us. Why?

Because we got too close to the truth on the health stars. Will we be silenced? No! No, no, no, we've got to take a whole dump break. Oh yeah, so will we be silenced? Yes. Yeah. See how reluctant it was?

We will be reluctantly silenced. Like, we're back at the front of the plane because we promised plane were the entertainment. Yes, and we've got an X-Men amongst us. A person with a special skill obviously went to HamishNandy.com where everyone must go if they've got something that is not being properly recognised by society. Kind of welcome. Thank you. And you can un-pill a banana in... Was it under two seconds?

Under two seconds on a good day, yeah. Sub two was the promise. Yeah. Sub two. Now, it's today a good day. Well, it's a good day but it's pretty hot in here and And he's wofed your cigarettes isn't helping either You've got a head spin passive head spin. Yeah, it's a good day, but

Yeah, you nervous. I'm really nervous. Well, I mean who here Wants to see a man peel a banana under two seconds? Woo!. Banner, Banner, Banner. It is plain worthy entertainment. Now, we've got one of these touch pads that they use for... Cups stacking and rubyx cubes and stuff. So both your hands are beyond pop of that. As soon as it releases, you'd have to pick up the banana, then skin it. Actually, you could start with the banana in your hand and your like,

fresh on both, or on the pads. Let's get this, I mean, first of all, you asked if you could bring your own banana. I smelled a slight rat and I was like, yeah, you can if we can inspect it. You didn't even bring your own banana. These are hand-wish-handy supplied bananas. Yep. Because we were nervous that you might get the banana equivalent of stripper pens, where it just comes off straight away.

I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it.

Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it.

Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I thought about it. Yeah, I Stopwatch. Let's just do a stopwatch. Yeah, yeah. Jack, do you want a time at? Oh, time at. Jack, you get your phone, you time at, let's go from the moment. Jack says go. Yeah, let's do that. Yeah.

I was going to say, do we do it from the moment the skin is compromised? I think that's fine. But then that could include bending, which is part of the opening process. I think Jack will just give us a standard ready set go. Yep. And when is it over? When would you stand to banana peel? Oh.

Well, when Jack sees a nude banana, no peel touching actual banana. Yep. It's stopping. Stop. How many goes am I getting? Ooh, I thought one. I think one for an eight coin and three for a one coin. Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. We like his car. Yeah think one for an eight coin and three for a one coin.

Oh, okay. Yeah, okay. We're like he's gonna say, yeah, one for an eight coin. Okay, take center stage in the aisle. Hey, Michinault will go to the aisle other side. Have you got yourself a banana? No, no. Okay, there's plenty of chews from there.

All right. Now, just for everybody at home, he started holding it almost like a sad face. A sad face. Yeah. Well, like in the rainbow position, the upside down curve, both ends, I can see a lot of precious through those thumbs. A PlayStation controller almost either side if you were picking it up at either end. And I thought you'd be peeling from one top, but you're attacking from both sides.

Wait and see. I like it. I like his prestige. You'd be peeling from one top, but you're going to, you're tacking from both sides. Wayne C. I like it. I like his prestige. I mean, yeah, Copperfield's either perform magic, not tell you how he goes on three. Okay, Jacko, you ready, Connor? Connor, I'm going to go three, two, one. Go like that.

Okay, so it goes on the zero. Yeah, okay. Three, two, one, go. It's a misfire. Yeah. It's a misfire. It's a banana. It's stopping there. It's a banana. Eight seconds. Bad start. That's a banana. Okay. Okay. It's now lost the checkpoint. We know what you're going for in our hour. I'm excited by the possibilities. What happened in Banana Selection?

I think it's just sitting in the heat of the plane. They are a tropical fruit. What do you need? A bit of luck. I'll give you that. We know what we might see here now, don't we? And it's good. It's good.

It's something we haven't seen before. How are you feeling about that banana? It feels good. OK. I think I would say the banana you've just chosen would be, the other one was slightly older. This is a less ripe banana, but it still feels in the mix. Yeah.

It's a bit more bent, so it's going to be a little bit more difficult. Really? Straighter bananas is easier. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. For the any young banana fans, um, Jacko on your count.

Three, two, one, go. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! What are you saying? What are you saying? He's not a moment! It was incredible. Andy's eating a banana! How do you mean she's eating a banana?

It's a real banana! Well done! Thank you. Connor, how are you, Dave? I'm really relieved. My God, I can't put those 1.6 acres time to stand still in the middle. it feels a lot longer than you think. Connor, you've got yourself coin.

Congratulations for not being the Simpson's guy, particularly on our last episode. You're the banana guy. Yeah. You did it. Talk about like World Cup clutch ability. You did it on the slide party. In front of the pack plane, I mean,

was that plane weather entertainment? Yes, it was. Yes, it was. And the other benefit was it was the kind of thing that was either done or not done in two seconds, which is much more than you're doing that multiple times, because boy, we had to sit through some drag. Yeah, yeah. And I love this just banana debris everywhere. Yeah. That was our standing clobber. What answer? CHEERING AND APPLAUSE All right, Hame, time for Tell us some of your thoughts

for a while. Hard, hardest time of the year to do it. Last show of the year, we've had all year to think. Yes. But to be fair, I haven't thought of anyone since June. Just to clear my mind, to give maximum chances for winning hats today. For those playing along, big news. For the first time ever, and the first ever must be nice hat

is available. Ooh. Ooh. It's actually the only one available, because as you would have known, we're encouraging people to give a screenshot this Christmas because they can only arrive in January. Give a screenshot now.

Get a hat there. So, like tickets to a great concert, fun to know you've got it on its way, that's one of the hats available. Second available is the worst beanie we've ever seen in our lives. You might be familiar with this, Physio Crem, put it on your head and have no friends. Absolute friend repellent.

Hame, get into golf hat, which I don't, which has been sent in. I'm not sure if anyone would be encouraged if they saw someone wearing that to get into golf. Yeah, I agree. From what I gather, the way that you signal that you're a cool golf person is to have 11 hats all from the same golf company not a hat that encourages others to get into golf because it sort of

makes it feel like you're not sure either. And finally a bucket hat it's got fried chicken on it called cooked to perfection. These are very reminiscent of the whole of the chickens to be honest. Yes. Yes. These are the foreheads available. Good luck if you win. You get to choose one of them. It will be a huge slap in the face. If you don't pick them must be nice. And I'll write it. Has anyone got a tell us someone you haven't thought of for a while? Hit your core, Bill. And um, oh, we're awake. Yes. There we go. Okay. What's your name? Santa. Good luck. Tell us something I'm gonna thought of for a while. Soldier boy.

Soldier boy. Soldier boy. You're out. Do you know who Soldier boy? Singer. Singer. Is it Superman that lady? Can you give us a few bars?

Oh. It's like Soldier Boy, tell him, oh, when we crank that, when we broke. I think that's right. Is it the dance? It's the one. Not that I we wrote. I think that's right. Is this a dance? Is this a dance? Not that I've seen. I mean, I wouldn't have, because I never heard of the song or the fuller boy.

I'm familiar with the young man in question. Never thought even really as an artist. You just hear the song and you're aware of the song. So yeah, I haven't thought of the song this year. I guess that's a win. Zanna, well done! Zanna. Now, what hat would you like to pick?

You've got the physio creme bini. You have to be the new merch. Must be nice. Must be very nice. Wow, we want to see it. Not in a screenshot format. I got anyone else. Oh, here we go.

What's your name, sir? Daniel, tell us where we thought of for a while. Tanya's IE from Who Dare's Wins. Bad luck, think of it regularly. Oh. Pretty hard to not think of something you've got to post or off in your bedroom. No, the unfortunate thing for you is Tanya's IE when Hamish and I went to Afghanistan to do the show for the troops, she was on that trip.

One previously. Yes, and so any time that I think about that trip, her name comes up as well. Yeah. So, but we thank her for being part of the segment. Yes. All right. Anyone else got to tell us someone who wrote the back of the plane. She must have booked late. Or drop the bell.

You've dropped the bell, and that's the most famous part of the show. Kath, tell us some of we ever thought of for a while. Dame Edna. Oh, she was a trivia question yesterday. I was playing trivia with my family, and it came up, what must Superl is used in her greeting? Hello, Possums. Got it. Oh, no.

So, really bad luck, but yeah, I was pretty bored yesterday and she was part of trivia So so sorry very recent you've thought of her you like that yesterday hours old Yep, there's any very bad 15 people I thought of and she's in there So sorry bad luck No physio crème bainey for you anyone else we've got time for one more last one him Okay, yeah, yeah, crème bainey still up for us. Tell us someone we haven't one more? Last one, him. Okay. Back here. Physio Cran Banny still up for that. Tell us someone we haven't thought of for a while. Mr. Bane. Sorry. Sorry, yeah, no, quite often.

Think of Mr. Bane. My kids. My kids have gone into Mr. Bane this year. And if you ever watch After Life, which is Ricky Gervais, he's got a famous scene where they invite people to a party and these co-worker invites Mr. Bean. And he says, so you get the actor, Rowan, that can send a half to be in character for the entire dinner. So sorry, thought of being in heaps. And also another bad one. Anytime my wife and I do French accents,

I'm an assistant school one, but we'll say two things. Shum's Bond, Shum's Bond, and Mr. Bean. Because during the London 2012 opening ceremony, my wife and I were in France, and we had to watch it on French television. And the only thing they said in English was when James Bond got out of the car,

they were like, well, well, well, well, James Bond, and then Mr. Bean. Mr. Bean! So that's the two bits of the opening, yeah, you can't. And you're not, and I applaud you, and not arguing. The bean, he remains ungiven out. Unbelievable, I can't believe we have not and I applaud you and not arguing. The beanie remains ungiven out and unbelievable. I'm going to put in a backpack to help us. A sand-effective a bell.

Thank you. Thank you. All right, everybody. We're at the front of the plane. It's parked. We're getting ready to deploy before sliding. Nicky, you are in charge of letting this thing rip. How you feeling? It's super confident.

Is this the first one you've fired off? Yes. What have you been told to expect when it happens? I don't know, I don't really know. No, it's going to be probably quite loud. Okay, a lot of hissing I would imagine as it blows up quite quickly. At the moment, doors are armed and cross checked, aren't they? Yes, they are.

When you say doors are armed, that means like the slide is loaded. No, locked and loaded. So we're opening an armed door. Yes. And is that feel very foreign for you? Because every instinct would be to get that little bit of orange tape that goes across the window and pin it over there and actually deactivate the form. Yes.

This is a huge no-no. This is absolutely no-go unless we are like full-blown evacuating emergency. In which case it's a yes-yes and that's why it's about to be a yes-yes. Andy, should we do this? Okay. So what do you do? What's the procedure? This is wild.

I didn't actually think it would be this exciting. Yeah, well we hop off quick, hop off quick hop off quick. That's what we said. Hop off quickly, hop off quickly. Okay, yeah, so should we yell that out? Okay guys, as you may have felt, the aircraft has come to a stop. And we have checked outside, there's no fire or smoke,

but there's a hot good time out there trust me. I'm off quickly, hop off quickly, I'm off quickly. She's checking. She's checked. Yep. She's open it. Oh my god. Oh, look at that sick guy! Oh, wow! That is awesome! And you had your arm across too, just like and I and you know what could I knew because I wanted to go Yeah, you're feeling yeah, that was awesome

That is all right. Let's get the heck down this fly biggest life jacket party slice party, Papa, and they're great I thought they'd be yellow. Yeah, amazing. That was awesome. Nicky, what can you do? I ran a boss from Nicky, everybody. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Guys, actually quite extreme. It looks good. It's what you want.

Before we go down, I just wanted to say what an honor it's been for us to be on the plane with you. I'm sure we'll all make it, but I'm just going to say, what an honor it's been to be here with you all. I mean, we truly believe we've got the best listeners of any podcast in the land. You guys are the best of the best for coming on board. And I just wanted to show you something.

It's a premium, premium ankle brace. I've got two of these. And I just wanted to send a message to the brace, to you guys. I'm not wearing it. No one needs them. You've got the strongest damn hearts and angles in the country. Thanks to me, part of the party got some see in the bottom. Let's sign our game.

Hey. Take her away, Andy. You sure? Come on. We've done so much for this. Slide true, slide. OK, I'm getting on the slide. It looks like a slide.

It feels like you're on the slide. Please, look at your knees. How do you feel, Andy? I feel like I'm sliding. And a perfect physical. What a landing. What a landing. I'm just stepping out of the breed.

Hey, it's the best feeling in the world. I can't believe I'm doing this. Sitting atop of the slide, looking down at the engine. That's off. That's nice and safe. Looking down at my knees. There they are. Mankles.

Nice and secure. All checks are done. Taking your time with this in the emergency. We'd want everybody off, done. Obviously done. Don't go through this many checks if you are. At the top of the slide I'm just soaking in the moment. As I know Neil Armstrong did before, he made his famous descent.

And now we're slime. Whistling. Whistling. Whistling. Whistling. Whistling. Didn't feel a thing. Well done.

Did you think it's funny? Didn't feel a thing. Okay, bring him on there. It's all the tiny thing in my knees. Whistling. Hey, fine on your ankles. I can't even feel my ankles. I think there's anything for anyone to worry about.

How did your ankles feel? It's amazing. At first civilian. Oh, fantastic. Oh, lent a bit to the left there. What happened? I was favoring the right angle. Oh, right.

You had a strong, you had a sore left ankle so you were like making sure it didn't come down to that. Just making sure we all got down sack. Yeah, well done. That was pro more than that. Hey guys. How are you feeling? Really good and I actually strapped my ankle.

And it's still all together. So I'm going to go. Yeah well done. Mate, how was that? That was great. Well, it was, it was a really, really great. Just another day in the office. You know how it is.

Didn't think about it. It was fun. It was fun. That was really fun. Can we go again? Or I feel high on life. It was a nice slide. I'm happy with that. Feel a little bit wobbly. The ankles aren't great I'm glad to have made it. Yeah, it's good. Is it any day? Love it? Not any day as we've found hundreds of days in the Thrilling I feel like it's three year old at the park on the slide. I'm amazing. How good is that better than I ever thought? Incredible. That's the experience in my life. It's awesome life that was exhilarating thumbs up guys thumbs up I look

like you still to be up my daughter last couple of weeks so good training good training should have worn the brace really have you got a soaring I have weak ankles yes take a seat of me you come over to the ankle restoration you Did I see you close your eyes a little bit down just a little hogs had me a bit worried after the toe story? Yeah, I'd be worried about it. I'll be able to get this go Look cooler out here than it is in that plane so it's good. Yeah, I think everyone just wanted to get off the hop plane Yeah, that was good mate better than I ever thought yeah, that was great life changing Yeah, I'm begging right now. We can say we've been down one. But it wasn't as high as I thought it would be.

Thank you so much. I've been practicing holding my knees. So you gave yourself a small round of applause at the end of it. If you don't, congratulate yourself, who will? Oh my gosh, that was awesome. I'm happy. Thanks for making my dreams come true.

It's what we're doing here. That is what we're doing here. I didn't want to get stuck in the middle. You know, I have to sort of push myself down. You thought your son coming down now? Is it more nerve-racking looking back at your son and going? No, no, I've had four kids, so that's like, you know, nothing. You could lose well. You would have obviously remembered the day that he came down a different kind of shoot.

Yes, very quick. What was more special today or? Definitely today. Oh, yeah! Definitely today Yes That was the best thing of my experience Seemed anxious at the top I was I was shooting myself It's too shake yeah, I'm still shaking but like I'm like I was worth every moment of shake

You play down I saw a woman change before my eyes Who is this? That was like a men and officers on the slide. That was the best. Any good reality show, you've had a journey, you've been on a journey, obviously it only took three and a half seconds, but you've done. I'm a changed woman, you know? I feel like at the top you were pretty shy,

introverted person, and now we have the bold, courageous woman we see before us. Yeah, I'm do the same. Hey, Michelin, can you hear me? Yes, I can. He raised his slide. I have the last person to evacuate this plane. Well, we can actually see two staff behind you.

Poor checking. They wouldn't go down before me. Nice. All right. Tell me in. Three, two, Nice. All right. Help me in three two one How many survivors did we care? No, not not me. Yeah So everyone broke their ankle

That's like when you came at you know that silly stuff with a megaphone We like mate read the room. You got a hundred people rolling around you. It's screaming and joking. You can't even see. Jack, can we just, can we blow your mind? You have a last unbroken pair in a perfectly unbroken chain of ankles.

You bloody did it boys. LAUGHTER Oh, yes! Okay we are down. We're off the plane. We now have all passengers safe and accounted for. On the count of three give me a cheer if you snapped your ankles. One, two, three. a cheer if you snapped your ankles. One, two, three. Now give me a cheer if you did it. Woo!

Yeah! A hundred percent non-snapy of ankles. We dreamed it, but now... If you said better than I thought we'd go. Now only now can we say, was it possible? I wish you'd thank Rex Eiland, now doing Biggies. You do. I don't know why they haven't updated on their planes yet,

they're new slogan. When you stand away from the Biggie, you do realize how big the big is. It's a biggy. Melbourne airports and Melbourne jet base for letting us do it in their base. They really appreciate it. I mean, this is, of course, is where the simulation ends, not every emergency ends with a sit-down assessment on deck chairs in the hangar with complimentary water and biscuits.

There are gift packs out the back there that you guys all have to take one of. As you leave, warning. There's Toblerone in there. Boss, your ankles are strong. Your mouths may be weak. Now, I'm fine with it. I had a test bite.

I see some shaking of the head. I know it's a dangerous chocolate. Jack won't be doing it. But we've asked Binaus by Melbourne Airports if you can attempt to eat that not on the premises because they do not want to be liable. I know we're near the slide. Just someone doesn't talk. We wish you the best. Obviously it will be a terrible day. You survived the slide, but you failed the mouth for a utility test. But that's the risks you take. And I mean, all that's really left to say is thanks for another great year.

Of course, we'll be back next year with the podcast. Unfortunately, obviously we're getting close to the government mandate at break. We've been fighting with the government over the last few weeks to let us extend the season, past 40 episodes this year. Things have got heavy. It's awesome. We won't bore you with all the legal details. It dig into the stage where we, they threaten us in an agent down.

They shut us down. We said you'd never. They swore at us. Yep, a lot of say. I don't think they have a wood send an agent down. Oh, it's the... I'm an agent, are the manufacturers. Yeah.

How do you do it? Who's this? I'm an agent from the government. I'm shutting you down. No! Yeah, no more podcast with three months! So tired. I'm actually...

No, terrible. Spot pole. Spot pole. How was my tech? Spot on. He deserves another one. No. He hates it.

It's no good. We fixed it. You got it. You got no. It's no going. We fixed it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it.

You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it.

You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. You got it. Oh, no, Andy Quickrun is the government. LAUGHTER Oh, the least intimidating agent I've ever seen! Imagine the face of testing people looking like mine.

No, we got it now, back. Well, I mean, we better go quietly and the government's here. And tied. I wouldn't want to mess with that guy. The man is short-time. I hope he doesn't toughest, but which I mean, hand-cuff, not hand-cuff. Oh, great. No, he made it so much.

It didn't work. It didn't work. It didn't work. Goodbye. Thanks, listening. Your job will contribute at hamishanandy.com.