Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2023 Ep 216

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

1. Pod wars - Mars vs Twix  2. Power moves  3. Coin Audit Taskforce 4. Andy’s toothpaste testimonials 5. Human scales test 

A list-nuff production. Activate your internet. Cos the Hamish and the podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. A hoi to my branch operator, hey, miss. Hi, yes, thank you, sir. You will not be disappointed with who you've put in charge.

We are not closing down this branch. You've put it up, which is fairly the ones. You absolutely wouldn't. Ahoj to my pump operator, Jack. Okay. I could do without the pump, I think. One. Where are you going to get the pressure, bro?

We'll find it. And I am the station officer. Are we drillers? Are we in oil drilling? No. I thought we were a bank when it was the branches. Or is it train stuff? When we talked about emergency services off air while having lunch before this show, you said this is the one you'd want to be.

Oh, is this fire department? Fire department. You said, I said outside of the hypothetical, I want to be a firefighter. Yeah, yeah, because but I haven't obviously done the training yet. Would you? Well, I didn't say I am a firefighter. If you were the branch operator hand, this is what you could look forward to. What would my roles and responsibilities be? You, the firefighter using the hose. You're the guy that gets them. Actually, you use the hose. Then we call it the branch, do we?

The branch is what the end of the hose is called. Right. And it squirts out the leaves. Well, you would need, you would definitely need the pump operator then. Yeah, we would. If you want to push it out of the hose, so you're not... That was a good firehouse camaraderie. Yeah, you're sitting near the limbo.

You're wondering, we're going around a limbre, just no thanks. And in my pump man, to have a fully pressurized hose. But these firefighters can change the patent and flow of the water. So you're in charge of your nozzle at the top. Yes, so you say shower spray. Yeah. All the fun ones, you're in charge of your nozzle at the top. Yes, so you say shower, spray, I'm in all the fun ones you have here, you go square, triangle.

A pump operator, Jack, drives the truck. Oh, really? I thought I was just like, you know, doing the, I'm the jack pump operator. Why are you doing that? You're pumping like a bike, bike, bike. Yeah, bike, bike, like I thought I was pumping pressure for the water.

Mate, don't worry, we'll splash out on a motor, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike, bike over, I guess, from when they did use the bike pump. Well, no, it's still a pump. No, no, it's still a motorized pump. But if I'm driving the truck, and I'm flicking the switch on the pump, well, once you drive there, you need the trucker. I think the trucker's actually called the pump.

You need another roll. Obviously, stop trying to wheeze all out of hell into the truck, but you don't need the hot bar. I'd never get in the truck. It's re-trapping with the lights on. It's easy to be good if we had someone back at the truck? No, Jack's sorry, don't he? He's job he's having donuts now.

Well, we man the fire. What are you again, Andrew? He plays station officer. Just looking overlooking all of you. Oh, you know what? Back is not your ass me. Do you not come out for the fire? No, no.

No, no. Come on. No, these days, mate. No, I didn't want to be young smoky. But, uh, not any more, mate. Too much chicken on that here. I'll swing pass when it's senders. We'll have to be back out there with you boys.

You'll have to get the boots on again. But you know, mate, with my shoulder, the old combo. Holy also, him. Oh, sorry, you have another move. No, no, no, no, that's my end of my questions about firefighters. A hoi also to Matt Wood, who used the easy, easy system, hamstring.com to tell us what he's been up to in the Northern Territory. Today, I'm Andy, number six.

So we're going boys. It's Matt here, currently traveling from Darwin to Perth. I'm looking at about eight to nine days of camping ahead of me. So, home, you're an expert, share some wisdom if you can. We're there, 800 Ks out of all the rooms. So I know you fellas are meant to be there for your rest day back at Cool Boy in the front there.

Unfortunately, you couldn't. So in your arm, I'll be smashing back a few tenths for you. Cheers, keep up the good work, fellas. What a legend. Matt. My camping tips for Matt, you've... I know we listen, I know we listen, we've got studio quality headphones in here.

I'm not sure how clear people will be listen to this, depends on your headphones there, but to my ear. It sounds like the first camping tip I would give Matt, is, I think you've got a flat change the tie up, did a bit like, you're rumbling a lot of flat. So definitely if you've got 800k to cover, I actually know someone that's good with a bike pump, I can send him your way. Set out the pump operator. Sounds like you might need a bit of information, but other than that, you're doing it perfectly. What are the starters today's show?

I did end it. Now, we get a lot, what's happened over the course, I think, of the last year and this year is we've sort of become the show to go to when you need to investigate something going on in the chocolate world. Yes. And look, I think we've done some amazing... Interesting. When you don't sit out, we all have a team meeting and saying, Hey, let's not be these guys. No, you know, X-Men and the people are there. They didn't ask to be mutants, did they?

No, it's fine if it's... He didn't ask to be... He didn't want to do it. No. And he does, and they? No, it's fine. He didn't need him. He didn't want to do it. No. But he does. And it's just responsibility. And that's the way Bruce Wayne, he did want to do it. He has to want to do it because he's making all the stuff. He's actually not a superhero. He hasn't been. Yeah. Third party didn't annoy him. He's just rich. And that's why a lot of gadgets. What we're saying is when you're in the justice game, sometimes it's foisted and rich. That's by a lot of gadgets. What I was saying is when you're in the justice game, sometimes it's foisted upon you, sometimes you know, sometimes you just choose to do it. We fell into it. We're probably a different category as well. We fell into it. We, you know,

have investigated many, many controversies and conspiracies within the Chocobo. Probably the biggest one of all is the flake luxury. Is it a twirl? Is it not a twirl? That, you know, get into the bottom of that. And one of the big issues that came up in that case in the flake luxury versus twirl case was the on-packet graphic. Yes. Remember it was exactly the same picture on the packet, and that's what really made us go hang on a sec. Cabri, in this case, they're defendant. They are having a laugh. They are having a laugh with us, because they're just chipping out the same bar and just

doling it up a different way. Sorry, park that for a sec. Side note. Remember then how we were talking about the breakaway? How that was actually a rebadge timeout. Went from timeout, so bought one the other day, right? bought a breakway. She's eating at home. She goes, oh God, breakaway is a nice one. I said, you know, it's just a re-made timeout. It's not delicious.

And I said, dear, I'm pretty sure, like, for knowing full well, she hadn't just had to listen to it. It doesn't very often listen to the podcast. And I floored her with my knowledge of the break away back. Like look, I'm actually going, oh my God, it is. I said, yeah, you got to ask me some stuff, but because there's a lot of things I know. It's just equally shocking that she goes, break away is her choice of chocolate bar. Someone gave her one and she really liked it. And then she she grabbed one at the side.

She grabbed a few of the supermarket and put them. I know she's got the, you's got the high up in the fridge, the, is that for cheese that can pop up at the top? We don't have any cheese in it, that's just those. Chocolate bar. Chocolate bar. You don't go in there recklessly. So that's what was living.

Anyway, someone's poured another case to us, Molly. Great. And she's like, I think I've found another chocolate crime, pods, specifically the Mars and the Twix variety of pods. Great. And she's like, I think I've found another chocolate crime. Pods. Specifically, the Mars and the Twix variety of pods. Now, pods are a format that I think is just, it's just Mars, and the cabri don't do pods, do that. It's a format they come up with to go, let's take our beloved chocolate bars and put them in pod form, which is a sort of a biscuit cup and then the chocolate layering in there. Good idea. I'm not for them. I'm not. I like a pod. I find them.

You like ABFig's sweet jacket. I just see a lot of it. I got to sweat it. I got to sweat it. Scourish anything you can. The problem with pods is they're not satisfying by themselves and you can eat a whole bag very far. Right. And obviously the company knows, and that's how they make some money. So he's the thing. I've got each got us all a bag of some pods here. We've got twigs and Mars pods.

Open them up. The first thing I want you to do, I've got my bag here, and now you got your bag. The first thing I want you to do is you look at the back. What you've got to compare them. You've got to compare them. Jack, what's one of you got? I look at the back. What do you think? Well, you've got to compare it. You've got to compare them. Jack, what's one of you?

Jack, I've got twix. Would you prefer that? Jack, read out the definition of the twix. All right. Gooey dollop of twix. Caramel in a crispy baked wafer topped off with a delicious milk chocolate. Now read out, Marz Andy. So let's just reach Marz Caramel Cradle in a crispy baked wafer topped off with creamy milk chocolate.

Now, Jackie, you give your viewers back to Andy. You look at these side by side. The contention for Molly is these are the same thing. In one, one, they've changed the adjective. You've got deliciously rich Mars caramel versus gooey dollop of Twix caramel. Yes. Both admit it's a crispy wafer. Yes. On the Mars one, Yes. Both admit it's a crispy wafer. Yes. On the Mars one, it's cradled in a crispy wafer. In the Twix one, it doesn't say cradled, but apart from that, you look at it. You look at the picture and though.

Well, the pictures are exactly the same. The pictures are exactly the same. They've put a black stripe behind the Mars and the orange stripe. I'm glad you picked up on that. That's the, that, and then look, there's a drip as well. strike stripe behind the Mars and orange stripe. I'm glad you picked up on that. That's that. And then look, there's a drip as well in the top left hand corner. They've changed the color.

On the twigs, the big drip is brown. The small drip is caramel. On the Mars, the big drip is caramel. The small drip is brown. We obviously have to do a taste test. Obviously. Now, here's the other thing. You look at these things you're like, okay.

The big question here is, at the Mars factory, like where they make all our favorite Mars confectory, M&Ms, Twix, Mars, Maltesers, at the factory, they've got two main products that use caramel. Yes. You've got Mars and you've got Twix. Do they expect us to believe that there is a secret recipe for the Mars caramel versus the Twix caramel? That's really what this comes down to. Or as Molly suspects, and I think a lot of this is now suspecting, is it the same

damn pipe? So Twix is not only has a just sucks them on. It just sucks them on. It just sucks them on. Biscuit in it, doesn't it? Yeah, the chocolate bars themselves are definitely different. Chocolate bars are completely different. So which is why we totally legal to use the same trademark Mars caramol, although when you put them in pod form, and the only ingredient is caramol and chocolate, you now have the same product again.

So you start with two different chocolate bars. This is the danger. I mean, as much as we saluted the pod format, this is the danger of what happens when you pod them. Yes. They become the same pod. So the accusation here is, are they really allowed to have two of the same pod? Because I mean, what makes us laugh is there are people

walking down the aisles going, oh, I want a Mars pod or a twig. Oh, I do. Because you have a twig when you feel like you need a bit more of a meal because you we've got a biscuit in it. There was things that you only can with the cookie crunch. OK, for anyone that's seen the candy ball lineup episode of Sonderd to the eye, they look exactly the same

as you pull them out of the bag. They don't. They do, don't they? Yeah, I'm putting it past the most jack. Make sure you remember Jack, which ones you twix with. I don't do the twix on the right. Mars on the right. OK, I'll do the same.

Twix on the right. Exactly the same without. Cross-street. Rodinarily similar. OK, twix on the right. Mars on the left. Which one do we have first? Jack I said we shouldn't be the heartbeat.

They shouldn't be the heartbeat. Let's take the Mars first. OK, Mars on the left. OK. Oh, quite. Okay. Okay, Mars on the left. Okay. No caught. I'm impressed, mate. These are quite good. Oh, they're amazing, Ado.

Well, as I said, you eat the whole bag. So you bought through the chocolate pretty fast, you're into the caramel. Everyone feeling that? No, that does taste like a Mars to me. Yeah, and we know. Cause I would say the Twitch is more accurate cause it does have a biscuit-y wife on it anyway.

Yeah, I mean, Taiset has Mars flavor. Okay, now the Twitch. And really because it has I would say the tweets is more accurate because it does have a biscuity wife on it anyway Yeah, I mean Taisa has miles five. Okay now the weeks do we we don't have to clean up else we can just go straight in because we don't think so because it's the same thing I mean anyone getting anything different there different now. I think I got a jacket with the same thing. Yeah, the same. The same. The different bars become the same thing when you pontify them. That is incredible. We've got you, Anthony. We've got you, right.

Yeah, we've got you, Andy. Now, flip around and look at the front. Prepare for the final piece of mind-blowing material. Yep. Jack, how much energy in kJ is the Mars? Mars is 503 kJ. Jack, how much energy per serve is the Twix in kJ? 505 kJ.

WTF is going. Maybe we're just not refined enough to taste two kilojoules more. It is half a calorie. So it's a tough thing to taste. So who can they're adding just like a fraction more cow and cow and cow and cow? No, try. No, okay, okay, so there's that.

So you got a case thing, but a ratio could be slightly different. Right. Now we go back to the ingredients. Now I've already done this, I'll save you the trouble. Right. First I'm going to read out the Mars. It obviously doesn't tell you exactly the ingredients, but it gives you the breakdown. Yes. Milk chocolate, 51%, biscuit, 30, caramel,

19%. Yep. Twix, milk chocolate, 51%, biscuit, 30, caramel, 19%. So it is exactly the same ratio. Oh, no. Oh, no, Mars. Yes, exactly. So in the ingredients, they're listening, exactly the same ratios for some reason. There's two kilojoules difference in energy. Now, we must be talking millions of percent of difference if there is different caramel in these. But then I'm going through all the rest of it with the cocoa fat.

I'll save you the time. It's exactly the same. Exactly the same. They're the same. They're the same. So hang on, hang on, hang on. What? Trust me mate. It's just a formatting thing.

On the bottom of the truix, it says may present peanuts, tree nuts, and barley. Where on the bottom of the Mars, it just says may present peanuts and tree nuts. There's no end barley. Maybe different factory. Maybe so you reckon different caramel. Cause don't they usually say that

if they're doing the Snickers in the same factory and the peanut accidentally falls over into the caramel? Oh yeah, that's what you're saying, Jack. So maybe they're in two different factories coming out of two different factories. I know we like speculating here, but we... We love it. I feel like we need

we actually do need a Mars person. Yeah, can we get if it comes if if it if it means I mean I think what we're discovering here is like are they going to look at us in the eye and say yeah yeah there's two different carols. Yeah, they won't I need that will not. Need to be balsy. So either way we we're just setting up our own for conclusion here. Right, stuff, eh? Hey, you're a fool if you don't listen to this podcast. Not because we're entertaining, but you're getting behind on life, aren't you?

You are. And we can call people fools because they obviously can't hear it. And if you do listen though, you gather up these power moves. Yeah. You stride forth into life. And you perform at your absolute peak capacity. Your highest voltage. In every social situation. Let's get into another batch.

And oh, all right, this comes in from Nathan. It's another AFL-based one. Lovely. Now, unfortunately, we had a pro, like we had, like, you have to be playing in VA AFL, like you have to be playing at the top level for how I'm over a couple of weeks ago. This doesn't work at the top level because it's the part at the end of the game where you do three cheers to the other team, which you don't do. Although in and of itself again, for those guys that we know there are a bunch of our

profiles that do listen to the podcast, love to see that. Love to see that. You be the team by 100 points, get your huddle and then go up to the other team and let's have three cheers for West Coast. Oh, God's please. Did you see more of the people? We used to do it for hockey all the way through. You have to, I think you do it at every sport until what state level?

We would change up the way, and different teams would try and... I used to come at uni. At uni, like, I would come, like, hung over on a Saturday morning and watch you play, like a good girlfriend. And you would do hip-ray, hip Saturday morning and watch you play. Yeah. Like a good girlfriend. And you would do hip-ray, hip-ray. Yeah, hip-ray. So, yeah.

Do you know that one, Jack? No. Melbourne three years to read. Would hip-ray, hip-ray, hip-ray. Yeah, you would probably, you would know and kind of hip out. So you don't do hip-hip. Because the second hip makes it worse, I reckon. Well, it feels very yielding.

Yeah. Like, the second, you know what's coming up to do the first hips, I can see that. But there's no reason to come out there, who? Right. That's a bit stingy. Well, it just felt more. Like, I need to hip her own.

It felt stronger. It felt more like a, you know, a huger. I suppose it would not be. But that's not the point. You've been doing so much in congratulations. No, it feels like you want to leave early. Like, you've got to do more. And do you want to get off the ground as soon as possible.

That was my tag too, because I didn't play team sports growing up. So this is almost like as in 19 years, might my first introduction to what the team sports culture is. I was like, yeah, right. So at the end, you do this really begrudging facsimile of a hip-hoperate. Like, hey, let's pretend to thank the other team. No worries. See you, mate.

See you, mate. See you, mate. What? The other one we tried for a while, we went back to you. To you, mate. To you, mate. We went hip, hip, hip, ray, ray, ray. That's him. He's one of the blinders.

Get it even faster. Yeah, it felt better just hip, bro, you, bro. You, bro. Oh, I think we were trying to do it. 3H3R. That's it. I'm not even faster. But yeah, it felt better just hip-bre. You're free. I think what we're trying to do is... 3H3R. That's...

We've reduced it to algebra and that's as fast as we can do it. It felt like you're trying to do this combat sport. Yeah. And then you had to say, he'd be a great for the other team. Or the start as well. Yeah, yeah. Both that start and finish are thought so to kill. Well, I... Well, we know it exists, right?

We know it exists, you know, and I think it exists like right into the upper level. Yes, like as adults, you stuff to do, you know, three cheers to the team at the end. Cause you are there technically for good sportsmanship. Anyway, this is from, sorry, long road to get it. Because after the other team does three cheers for your team, if you're the person that calls out, you call out,

all right, and two cheers. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I can't do this, Jack Hamish, you can do this. Be a base. Tell me whether you think this would work. If you've organized a play date for your child with a kid of a new friend, you have met the parents, and that new parent is dropping the kid off. Okay, drop and go. Usually kicks in around, traditionally, around about, you know, six, seven years old.

Before they arrive, rip a page out of the coloring book and color it in yourself and stick it on the fridge. That would be a good thing. When the current, when the current comments say, maybe, dear, fine. Really good. Um, and oh, this comes in from Meg. When somebody gives you some flowers by way of apology.

So small budget flowers could be a partner, could be a friend. If they're trying to patch something up, as they've given you the flowers, take the flowers over to the sink, unwrap them, and proceed to cut the stems down to about five centimeters long. Select only a few of the flowers and pop them in a tiny vase.

While maintaining the conversation, do not refer to it in any way and then put them on the table as a pathetic centerpiece. Pramandra Jones, if you ever caught sleeping at work, simply say the blood bank told me this would happen. simply say the blood bank told me this would happen. Get your apology and a bit of a well done for donating blood. You're a, yeah. Um, Poundo. I only works if the target's name isn't Billy. So this is for this is for a set of all humans not equal to Billy. Find a person you want to exert power over, start calling them Billy. And they never will be correct you and say, that's not their name, my name's Jack. Just

hit him back with, just saying that because everyone calls you Billy. It's short, for silly Billy. What a bird. Hit break. Ando. An interesting and serious email has come into my side of the fence. A young man named Norman Orion being serious on this show. I know, and it's quite a long show. It's quite a long show. We're happy to face up to tackle this,

especially if it's something that that A listener is feeling. And I worry that he might represent the views of many listeners here, too. That's why I think we've got to give it a bit of air. But he he's serious and it raises some big stuff. He says, look, he's weak because he comes, it starts by saying, I've got a serious allegation. You or I or both. But against the show. So that's mainly you Jack really.

Legally, yeah. We put your name on the form. In event, in event of allegation, there's a split ownership system. In event of praise and awards. Absolutely. H&A on stage. Gripping the trophy. In event of allegation, it does defer to Jackson. It's kind of for you, Jack. It does make it feel like you're greg from succession right now.

You're a little greg word. It's in relation to the handling of the H&A coins. It's a treasure issue. Narayan believes the coins have been, quote, handed out in an arbitrary fashion lately. He says, I'll add to you an examples from recent episodes. My concerns started from ep 203, the guy who could guess items in the kitchen, got every question wrong except what about rural Queensland properties and that earned him a coin.

Did we give him a coin? Yeah, I thought that was weird. Because he got, I remember the cupboard has something real obvious. No, no, no, no. He had enhanced here, Andy, as he worries about the legal ramifications for Jack. Yeah. A concerned, concerned friend. He doesn't like, doesn't like another friend's chances of beating this.

In episode 206 with the cordial guy, Hamish and Andy both agreed that the absolute bare minimum is 405. Then when he gets the first two wrong and a row, and he changes the rules to 305, then during episode 207, the go with the special skills to guess the movie did not get a coin, despite far superior skills. He guessed the movies correctly. Hamish then asked one or two, a rule that was an introduced earlier.

That was, I think that was for the movie guessing game. So what was it? Was it like Austin Powers? Austin Powers, yeah. And I went one or two. And then in black as well. Man in black one or two. Yeah. Anyway, he got that wrong on the one or two. He got man in black. And then he got it wrong on the one or two. He says, magic Mike, I think he means podcast Mike. I recognize this, but was dismissed by Andy. That sounds like me. To top it off. He wasn't given five movies to guess in the end. I felt like he was robbed.

This prompted me to investigate further. I went all the way back to the start of the podcast. Wow. On episode eight of the podcast, it's God so deep. Both coin guesser and menu guesser got H&A coins. When neither of them deserve it as they both were far off their guesses I do remember that but it guys like yeah what do you say you tell me a menu and I'll tell you the props

yeah that's right the garlic what are the classics what are the garlic bread undead if didn't this is obviously a great undertaking to review all the episodes of cases where H&A coins were handed out and I believe that I've only scratched the surface I Oh, well, I think he's under something big. I'd like to hush him up. Yes, that is an option of available to us. I'm just going to recoin my... LAUGHTER

So he says go away quietly. Well, he proposes two things. OK. One, establishment of an H&A coin task force that's responsible for reviewing questionable handing out of coins throughout the history of the H&A podcast. So it's almost like a royal commission. Hacked would be the H&A coin task force. But we would never take coins off people we've given them to. I think that's what he's saying. He's looking to write the wrongs of history. I think that's what he's saying. Wow.

He's looking to write the wrongs of history. Wow. And then number two, once the task force report is ready, and reviewed by Hamish Nadi, a mechanism by which H&A coins are recalled. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

So a two-part proposal here, establish the task force. Yep. That then I guess prepares a report. Yep. And then the second part is we then look at what we're gonna do with the report. It's interesting here because Royal commissions of course exist in democracies. And I know the question for us is,

how much of a democracy is it in how much power do you give? We love pretending we're one. Yeah. That's one of our favorite things. But I think sometimes even with the government, don't they do those kind of reports where they're like, now we got the report and we'll definitely look at that. Nothing really.

I mean, what happened with the banking one? I don't know. I don't know. Pretty sure all the banks are still in business. Yes. So we could certainly treat, I mean, this is banking. This is finance based. I mean, the general vibe of when you do a find,

look into the financial, any corruption of a financial level, it's the government's job and that would be us in this case to nod Solomon and go, hmm, many, many good points raised. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then just hope the new cycle washes that one away. But what about the, what about the, have is the Ryan sounds like the kind of guy that would be playing Michael Keaton's character in Spotlight if you've seen that film where he doesn't have it. But I know the kind of character, Michael Keaton's able to play. I don't think he's gonna stop his mind point. He's the air of the rock-a-vitch of the...

Now we're talking about the situation. I can wait, you know what, Andy? He's actually listening. He can join us now. Narayan tentatively, good morning. Oh, holy boy, it's good to be with you. Well, I see with you. And Ryan, you sir raised, I'm not going to say whether they're

valid, invalid, but you certainly raised points. And I'd like to just get the temperature, if I could first up of how disgruntled you are with possibly what you're onto here. Look, I have other conversation you, but my boys have been having. And if you want this used controversy to go, right? You could give me a coin and no one will know, but never know. And it wouldn't be that easiest coin that's ever been handed out in the chart. That's the point. It wouldn't be.

It wouldn't be. It wouldn't even be the looser's coin. Yes. Okay. Well, now we have it. This is certainly an interesting development because the head of our anti corruption power force is specifically asked for a bribe as he's opening statement. Wonderful. We're very interested in making this go away. But I do worry though that obviously now more people have heard this and this now the cat is out of the bag. Genie's out of the bottle.

Someone else is going to take this up. Yes. Put Neuron on hold for us. Thank you Neuron. You're welcome. I want him to hear it all. No, I don't want him to hear you. Okay.

So I think we take the bribe. No, he's asking you to give the bribe. Yeah. So I think we. the bribe. No, he's asking you to give the bribe. Yeah, it's not a big deal. No, no, Ryan, we'll accept the coin. We take the offer to give the bribe. Yeah, right. Yes, yes, yes. But what do you say about this just opening an absolute avalanche of people asking for

the same bribe? Tussforce. Tussforce. Tussforce requests coming in the left, right, and then what do you do? Set up like an email filter that looks for the word task force and put it straight in the bin. I think that is a good solution.

That is a good solution. This is such a fascinating peak into the power going runner corrupt government. I don't think we can set up this task force. You don't want to set up a... We don't't have to you know what I wouldn't be giving them rule commission powers would be sending up an advisory task. This is classic. I mean, this is going back to radio days where it was all self-regulated. Yeah. And you don't want another body regulating you. What are they? Okay, so they'd always go, oh yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah, we'll make sure Carl Sandland doesn't say that. We'll be fine. I got it. Okay. And then I got it. Yeah, yeah. We go doesn't say that. We'll be fine. I got it. I got it. And then I got it. What do we have? Yeah, we go back and we go. Okay, I think I've got it. You want to go back to Naurion? Okay, okay. You can hear us now. Naurion. Yes. Obviously, we're deeply concerned by the issues you bring up because here at issues you bring up because here at Hamish and Andy headquarters, we strive to run a transparent and authentic and a consistent coin giving operation. The last thing we want is for Jack to be dragged through legal mode because there's been a problem with the coin system. So we really take this seriously.

And because you're the first person to raise this and raise this concern, we would like to pay you a consultancy fee for the work you've already done of one, Hey, machine Andy Cohen, and the continued work. And the continued work you've done since you're the first person to do this week.

Now, if someone else did this work, they're just copying off you and they don't get a coin. But since you're the first person to do this consult in this work, we'd like to pay you a fee of one coin. And we'd like to absolutely take this to conduct a thorough internal review and present our findings in a few episodes. How does that sound? I think that sounds fair. That sounds fair, right. We will give you that payment in a pay-to-bag in a car park. It will have the unique coin number scratched off.

That's more, but just because of a shipping issue, nothing to see there. It's a totally above-board payment. Sounding good, Naran? That sounds excellent. Great. Deplacement doing business with you will get straight on performing the task force.

I'll chair it, Andy. Great. It has been about a few weeks since I was chastised by the two of you. The beard boys again, the lining against me. I don't know what this is about, but I stand by whatever we did. We're both young. I would just like to see you again if you lining against me. I don't know what this is about, but I stand by whatever we did. We're both just as you again, if you open your mouth. I think your crazy was added at me, this wild.

Oh, I better know. Is it the toothpaste? Tiny amount of toothpaste? It's the toothpaste. Oh, I think about it every time I clean my teeth, I think about you. Do what I do, Javita. I put the toothpaste on at night and I go, I look at myself in the mirror and I go,

you'll live in boy. And I go, keep it up, wild man, keep it up, because you know what, right now, Andy's in his bathroom. Well, probably many hours after me, but that thus is the joys of my children. Andy's in his bathroom. He's got one human hair as a stencil to make sure the toothpaste doesn't rise above the

one micron thickness across the top of the bristles. And look at you mate, squirt it on, slather it around, enjoy yourself. 41, you'll be dead soon. You don't regret the toothpaste you've seen. I felt like it was the right amount. A lot of people have come out of the woodwork saying you were right Andy. And I got a lot of messages,

a lot of emails came in. I thought what better way to do it is to get them to record what they wrote exactly. And so you could hear some of the things that have been said with regards to toothpaste gate. Prepare to hear some fun people to check. LAUGHTER MUSIC Mate, I use even less than yours.

Any more, and my mouth would be overflowing with suts. I do the same as you, Andy. I have a very extreme dental hygiene routine, but you only need to use a little bit of toothpaste. Dennis, here, the recommended amount of toothpaste is a size of a green piece, so Hamish and Jack are using way too much. You're closer to the right amount, Andy. As a fellow dentist, I 100% agree.

Very common man to be conservative with the toothpaste. Make those dollars stretch. So my partner actually thought you were crazy at first, but then he tried it and now he's converted, like way less cleanup required. You are 100% correct and no one will convince me otherwise. You are spot on and it is more than enough to clean your teeth. Only reason it is more in the ads is because they want you to use it quicker

and buy more toothpaste. Same with shampoo and washing detergent. Hey, you know what else? Electric toothbrush heads are so small. I think that also says a lot about the amount that you should use. I'm a dentist, and Hamish and Jackson Man is actually a really dangerous amount of toothpaste. Too much of that can build up a toxin called metholionide,

which could potentially make your teeth like churro. I think Andy's using the perfect amount of toothpaste. And I should also point out that he hasn't lost touch with the common man, and he certainly doesn't have an IP, if in my opinion, not an SP, but just an RP, regular P. A grateful P. LAUGHTER OK, sides the last one.

Why do I feel like? You know, it was like we're at a Donald Trump rally. So it's the last one. Why did I feel like? You know, it was like we're at a Donald Trump rally. Yeah. So that's the last one. All actual words written into this show or to me. Are you worried about that dentist saying that you got that dangerous toxic that might be being done?

From too much to face, I mean, get your act together, dentistry. When, as if, as it was ever heard of that, Jack, I mean, your dentist would do busy tickling your feet. Jettley blowing on your earlobes to worry about your actual mouth. Did you ask your dentist, Jack, and he say, what's tooth? He knows about...

White tooth, white tooth. He's in the... He weighs. Yeah. What is your holistic? He was very big on flossing. He didn't care too much about how much toothpaste he used, but I will next time on there, I'm definitely going to ask.

Yep, just go. You have a mouthful of crystals or something. You know, I've had, I don't want to sound like Andy here, but I've had a lot of people also write to me and ask for the details of the holistic dentist. Guys, let's just play in this show, and then do a one-dice. I've just shown to faked his demotives.

LAUGHTER LAUGHTER MUSIC And a little while ago on the show, we had a special skill nominated, which was someone that could feel, could tell the type of chocolate bar just purely by feeling it through the wrapper. And you sort of put your hand up and went like, yeah, but I think I could do that.

And I gave you a fair and honest trial. And you couldn't quite do it. You got very close. But to be fair, through your little fueled gist gistically shoes, I didn't get some of the A-list chocolate bars I was after. I got some more lesser-known actors. Yes, support band. Peppermint Chris, Keito.

Keito, Keito, I hadn't seen for three years. They're still gigging. So, Jury's out on whether that was fair or not. But look, another special school came in this week and I looked and I went, I hang, okay, in the similar vein, this isn't you putting your hand up because you don't know what this is yet, but I actually do, I looked at this and I went, I think again, I think this is one that normal human could do. Right. And I know an Andy is our resident normal human. Yeah. Comes in from Joanna. And she starts off by saying, Hey, I'm a

Libra. Okay. So immediately, you're like, I know that's got your attention, and because one guy know that likes star signs. So and she says, I've got the uncanny ability and very special skill of being a human scale. This is where you need to know that the sign for the labor is that I think it's justice. Adjust the scale, yeah. Which you've got the scales and the sort. Does she have a sword?

I don't know, is that statue of liberty? No, no, no, there she has a sword, apparently, they're shaking their head, they have furious scales. They're on the official, whatever. Anyway, labor is a scale. So she says, I'm a human scale. So I mean, you know, okay, this is good because remember one of the very first special schools

was just delimit by feel. Yes. And I was like, that's, we loved that one. Yeah. So, but this is what Joanna means. If you put two things in each of my hands, I can act as a scale until you which is heavier by feel. So she's one of those scales that just tips.

She's a year old scale, which I'd actually never thought of before, but I guess that is the point of those scales that just tips you see you all these go which I'd actually never thought of before but I guess that is the point of those scales to go which is heavier or you put 500 grams on one side and you just fill it up till it's level that's what you used to do yeah yeah my grandparents had one which I loved playing with but you put different size weights on one side and then pour your rice on the other. We had hours of fun. How cool. And these days, kids have to put up with Switch. So she's like, if something's 3.2 kilos and something's 3, I can detect the heavier. I'm just a human scale. She repeats with it. How we all do that?

I wondered if this is actually just more of a human phrase. Yes. So she's gone, look, my husband thinks I'm an idiot for my special skill, but I know it's the best in the world. What's not. And again, I was just like, I think I'm not taking away any instances where she correctly called it and there was someone was impressed nearby, but I don't know if it will qualify as a special skill.

We could be wrong. So to run the test and bring in the bags. What was the size? What was the size is she used? The dimensions? Three to three point two. I've gone actually a little bit harsher for ando here. I see she was doing like grams, then you go, yeah, great.

You got something that was three grams more, but the 200 grams is always considerable. Significant, 200 is a significant. Yes. Again, not to, I want us to not just always bring everything back to Chalka Bars, but that's four sneakers. Like you can tell. So, all right, ando, you've got grapes. You've got rice.

Right, grapes. And you've got ham. Yep. Okay. Make sure you pick it up in the correct order. Yes. But with your left and right hand, please pick up the grapes now and tell me what you feel.

And he's picking up the grape, two bags of grape. One is his left, one is his right. He's actually making like he's pretending he's a scale. Actually, I'm going to put them on top of my hand rather than have them. Yeah. That will kind of... I think it's even pretty smart. I do, isn't it?

Because the hands are more sensitive. I think the left is... it's heavier. Left is 300 grams. The right is 330. It's... I found it very tough. But...

OK. If she could do it within... I mean, 30 grams in a lot. That was 30 grams. That was... That's 10%. 10% variance. 10% variance. Yes.

Okay. Do the ham for me now. Okay, ahead. Left and right ham. Get in the ham is in the bag and Andy's putting his scale. Thank you, Jack. Jack, a lot of people are like... You think? get the hammers in the bag and Andy's putting his scale. LAUGHTER Jack, a lot of people were like, you think...

Like, what's Jack's, Tzuvela? You just saw it. Like, again, just... Detective Depours jumped in. Do you think that, um... tennis players couldn't do this? Because they have... Overdeveloped one arm.

Oh, yeah, they bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They bar- They Because they have overdeveloped one arm. Oh yeah, they bar up some one arm. But do they have incredible senses? You would think in their hands like that. And sometimes the slightest change of the racket. Would you say when they grab a tennis ball

and they sort of like almost, they do do it. They weigh it up in their hands and they're like, no, not that one, they get new one. Yeah, they actually do do it. That's why I thought you were doing it. I don't think it's way based on that. I think it's a squeeze for pressure, maybe. I was sort of just chemistry test like the first day. Yeah, like were you fiving it? Yeah, I'm f think it's a way base that I think it's a squeeze for pressure, maybe. I was just chemistry test like the first day.

Yeah, like were you vibing it? Yeah, I'm vibing it. Okay, back to the ham. This seems again really close. I mean, I can't do anything with co- I can't tell you with confidence here, so it's I feel like it's exactly the same. Left 110 grams, right 100 grams. I feel like it's staccolous.

Left 110 grams, right 100 grams. So again, a 10... Well, it's 10 grams. So that was 10% variance I was going for. I mean, that'd be too easy if I was doing big numbers. Okay, but she said, what did she say? She said 3.2. She said 3.2.

I actually made Andy's a bit harder because I just thought that sounded too easy. Well, yeah, two. Okay, yeah. Rice. And he's got two plastic bags of rice. Thank you, Jacko. The rice. It feels definitely heavier in my right hand.

That is 50 grams heavier. 1,000 grams plays 1,050. Well done, Andy. That one I felt like I could tell, maybe. Is it turned to the shape of, because like rice sits the easiest? Well, it's also the biggest difference. And they're so light, they are the ones are so light. Okay, so once it got to 50 grams, you could feel it. Yeah, well that's what I would think. You would think 200 grams is feelable. I should have actually got you hers, but yeah. Yeah, that would have made it.

That would have made so. Well, Jack, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, here? We've got scales here. Yes, we've got scales here. All right, go take the rice outside and make it so it's a 200 gram difference. Oh yeah, okay. Do you know what I mean? Like it doesn't. Well, we know he can do rice already. Yeah, and he's a new. I know, but Jack, well, I'm the one saying,

I think he's done better because he's detected 50 grams difference. In the meantime, we just give her a bit of time to do the rice. During the week, two people said to me, get a hamish, right? Thinking that I was hamish. And it was in two very different situations. Does that happen often? Happens, we are. One was at the airport, one of the security

guards. Oh, great to see you, Hamish. Yeah, well, I'll take it. one of the security guards. Oh great to see you, Amy. Might be about, could be about Hamie. You think so, but then you hear the behavior and Jack and I immediately go, that's Andrew. Well, like what about the person smoking a cigarette at the, at the time pushing, rushing into the smoke mark? Cigordin. I've been sighorned in my life.

We don't know. That's why your nicknames Weaver, random. That's why everyone's calling you the Weaver. See Gorn the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver.

We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver.

We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the weaver. We got the and no. So you're a scissor of the game. Here we go, there was now a 200 gram deficiency

or differential. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Easy. Yeah, yeah, that's left hand side as the, yeah, she's just got that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not right, it's left to we, like she will get it. I don't think it's impressive enough as the dandruff. Well done. You got 50. It's not impressive enough, is it? Well done. You got 50. It's not impressive enough to be a special skill. We did have some fun. Thanks for listening.

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