Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2023 Ep 217

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

1. Hamish’s incredible achievement 2. Loose ends - Bunnings and chewy dragées 3. Super Spotify scrubbing - special skill 4. Big 4 batteries 5. Cheeky toilets 

A least-knife production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and the podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. A hoi-demyita Culturalist, Hamish. Vita Culturalist? Is that what I am? I think it's Vite.

A Vita Culturalist, yes. Well, whatever the culture is, yeah, I see all cultures Vita, Vita or Vita. Vite, as in within I, at the end. Oh, yep. That's true. That's my favourite culture. Ahoy to me Cooper. Jack. Okay. Are wei to me Cooper. Jack.

Okay. Are we something to do with beer? I know, we are. I know what we are. Cooper is a barrel maker. We're in wine boys. Hey. Well done.

I'm close, Jack. Whoa, wine is close to beer. You're out of the vineyard, mate. That's your attitude towards our product. But no, he's right. That's my Cooper's called Cooper's. Because they actually have barrels, too. But I'm just saying, Jack, if that's your attitude towards our product. But no, he's right, that's my coopers as called coopers. Because they actually have barrels too, but I'm just saying, Jack, if that's the attitude you have in our vineyard.

No, I just make my barrel serve. What you do with them. Well, you should. And that's why you're out of the vineyard. Because if your attitude is we might as well give them beer, who cares what we're serving in the barrels? You two barrel centric, you've got to care about what's in the barrels mode. Hey, as a vitoculturalist, you specialize in the grape cultivation and vignade management.

So we appreciate your work you do there. Thank you, I look forward to discussing further a bonus time. Your craftsmanship for makes and repairs of wooden barrels has been fantastic for our aging wine, and we appreciate you. I am the seller rat this time round. A winery worker is responsible for tasks such as cleaning, racking, and monitoring the wine during fermentation.

Right, I thought that'd be more of a jack. I thought more of a... I thought I'd get my hands dirty this week. The racking, one of the smaller members of the Weasel family. Yes. Ohoy also to another jack, who I believe is in Switzerland. Ohoy boys, I'm coming, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,

oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh Number six, for the soft-eyed, I would recommend only looking directly at the mound through a welding mask or at the very least some sunglasses. See you later. It is a worry for the soft-eyed man, the either-matter-horn. Jack, you would never have seen it. You would have only seen the audience. No, and I know this only because any time there's any type of Toblerone news at all, people will send it to me. That Toblerone now can't use the Matterhorn on their packaging because not enough of the chocolate is made in Switzerland.

So they've just got a generic mountain. They have to round it out. I'm round it out. So you've got to say now. So now for the first time you've seen the mountain on the package? Yeah. Because as a soft-eyed man, you never have picked up the hot dog. Did it work that way, Jack?

Like, are you scared of looking at pointy things like you're scared of eating? No, no, no. Obviously, I'm not scared of eating. I'm not even scared of eating it. I'm just saying it is dangerous to eat. And of course, it's not dangerous to look at. Okay. Okay.

The real Matterhorn also very dangerous to eat. No one's ever done it. And we recommend it. Not, I had actually heard of Toblerone fact the other day. I don't know if it's true or not, but it's made by the Tobler family. And they were planning on making lots of prototypes

and it's a Tobler one. Oh. Like it's the first iteration and I guess they went, forgot it. Well, we'll be nervous. Yeah, unlike Blaine 43 from Escapade. Tobler one went, It was the first iteration and I guess they went Unlike blend 43 Escapade Table one went

Geez Slam dunk. It's pretty good. Hold in one like with just to craft it up Make that sort of any of the languages they speak in Switzerland. What's that like they don't speak English there? So why would they say what just They say one but yeah, so you think it's total iron. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's one. Maybe. Do this week German and French and Swiss. Swiss Germans, was Italian. Right. Yeah. Anyway, well, it's a fun fact. Oh, it's not a fact. I think it was fun. It was fun. You never

found I'd fun, Jack. When you do a fun fact, it reduces the owners of like, you don't have'd fun, Jake. When you do a fun fact, it reduces the onus of, like, you don't have to have a much fact in it. The funeries. The cool part. Hey, this is actually perfect segue into what I want to talk about. You might have heard me use the term they're whole in one.

Now, if you don't know about golf, that's a golf term. And, hey, how do you know so much about golf? I get a year people are asking, well, that's because over the last four months, and I have golfed several times. Yes.. And I now am at the point where I could say I golf. I was promised to use it when I turned 40, I would take up golf. You just had shoulder issues last year. There's light delay got around with this year. I'm playing. All right. I'm out there. Okay., Jack, I can already see you doing a seducing just bear with you not really good at

our you. But I just also am wary of taking the temperature of many people who listen to this, who don't cough. So just don't get, I wouldn't want you to accidentally think each other are interesting and that it's interesting to everybody. That's fair. Now, it's interesting you say that, Joe. Because it's the outsiders perception.'s interesting you say that Joe. Yeah. Because it's it's the outsideer's

perception. I've now struggled both worlds and I know what it's like to be mocking golf. I don't know what it's like to be on the inside too. Just remember what it was like Hamish when Andy would come in usually on a Monday after a weekend and it's essentially give you a play by play of every hole that he went through and what Smiles he did and what Hawks did. I rolls a plenty. I was rolling out the door, Jack. Just the two boys, two boys with young beads flopping against the walls out of sheer boredom. And I now look back at those days and I go, wonder what I missed out on there.

He's, can I give you a few learnings from the world of golf that I've learned? No, when you play a horn jack, you're getting to boring. Okay, well, here's the first thing I've learned. When you say you're taking up golf, first of all, there's a thing called speed golf. I've seen you see it now and played that. Oh no, no, no, it's in the Frisbee golf category.

I'm actually seeing it. I'm actually running between short, yeah, yeah. It's so great. I mean, I'm not by no means of my keen on taking up speed. I like the up, I like slow golf, but the, because my algorithm now on Instagram is 90% golf, I'm just getting fed to hans of just golf nonsense. And there was footage of the New Zealand speed golf. Speed golf champion, but this is the best.

Mate, the guy got through 18 holes. Even if you don't know golf, you can appreciate the distance here. 18 holes is usually about five kilometers. No, no more. More, 10 to 12. He's got through in 33 minutes. What?

Which even if you're running it. 18 holes. I think he's got through 18 holes in 33 minutes. It must have been nine holes. Maybe it was nine holes because it's just such a ferociously fast time. That's actually on World Record, Marathon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so it's super quick either.

I gave it, yeah, and five kilometers, that's still, you still, you still, very quick. You still have to play nine holes in golf and you're running whatever it's like six minute case. Remember, we had Drew Barrymore on the show. Famous Speed Golf on the... LAUGHTER I think it was Drew Barrymore. He's been through Barrymore to anger.

Oh yes, yes. That comes up a bit. That we wondered why we could we booked it for an hour and she was happy to come in and co-host the show. Wow, he was in a film with Eric Banner. Yeah, I think it was her on for the show or maybe Eric Banner came on the show, but he was a scene where he's Speed Golf. I think it was her on for the show, or maybe Eric Banner came on the show, but there was a scene where he sped golf.

I think you didn't gummed on the field. But there is a scene. They spied golf. Eric Banner spied golf. Speed had to have to... Yeah, it's not a great scene. It wasn't a great film. It's not a great film.

I respect for the athleticism, but it doesn't seem fun. No. Although, finally enough, 33 minutes, though, that's about the pace my wife thinks golf should take, which is the hard thing. This is for a lot of... Jack, if you make the transition,

you get into golf in later years when you turn 40. The very first thing, once older guys, and of course, golf is for everybody, but particularly older men. As soon as they, I was like, oh, this is my story. I'm just starting. I'm terrible, but I'm, you know, I'm enjoying it. They would grab me and take me away.

And with like a very firm grip on me. So they weren't having a laugh. They were telling me a very important secret of life, like my life depended on it. Like it's almost like where treasure was buried. Like do not make the mistake that I made. They would rip you hard on the arm or the shoulder and pull you away from the group and then say, you listen to me. I think I know what's going on.

You've listened to me. Don't you ever, ever say to me. Don't you ever ever say to anyone, like being a magician's circle and you found it how to do the woman in half trick. Like, don't you ever tell anyone that golf takes less than six hours. You must start from this, that's that's that's critical. It takes six hours. Never ever say it's less. hours. Never ever say it's less. I thought forward it. Don't you ever say four? Six. We'll say it six. We'll say it. Okay. And so that's like, Betzo is like, what are you talking about six hours? And she's thinking of mini golf. Where are you going to do it for a kids party? And even two hours seems like sure. It's got time for a coconut dog at the end.

You can talk about the windmill. So that's one of the battles that I'm negotiating in the most. Yes. It's even longer than riding, cycling, I would have thought. Like three hours is a big bike ride. Yes. Like six hours is a once a year event. Yes.

So you've got to reach in. So I already had a family to a six hour bike. I already had what I thought was a time consuming past time, and I've learned I died. No. Here's the other thing, and now, Jacko, you haven't run the bell, so I appreciate that. You might need the horn.

I want to achieve something in golf, that very few people achieve. All in one is, I understand, that's, you know, you've been playing for 20 years, and you've never had a holy month. I guess really one one. It's not a holy one. It's something even harder.

It's coming home from a game of golf with a story that's as entertaining to my wife about something that happened on the golf course. As bear with me, bear with me. Something that happened on the golf course that was the cause of much high-fiving and hooting and hollering. And then when I tell my wife, she is entertained. Okay, that's tough. This seems to be impossible.

I think that's tough. And I've tried a few times. Yeah. And I even tried again the other, even though I know that it's can't be done. No. I was driving home, and he was like, I think I'll tell her. I think I'm going to tell her. I was like, no, it's something happened here.

And I think it's universally interesting, right? Yeah. And because in my head I go, if I tell her this story, and she's like, oh, no, that's so funny and she high-fives me. She'll want me to go and play more to get more. I'm responsible for opportunity. The company's outside just banging her head against the table going, how's this man been married for 10 years?

But it was like, it was almost like you'd watched, like she was fine that I'd left for the day, totally fine that she was like, you know, well, it hadn't a fence with the heat. Yeah, that she'd go and done the, keep the kids up from school that she was like, you know, what happened to fans with the year that she'd go and done the, keep the kids up from school. And I just, you know, she'd kind of been working all day and I'd have this Sunday. So I was already up. Yes. So it's like, hey, you've won, you've, you've, you've better, you're at the wrong table. White came up. Great. You've been on red. That came up. Now you want to bet it on a number.

But what is wrong with you not going to not gonna win. But I went and was like, Hey, how's this? So I was like, so I'm, I mean, you needed that old man to walk back to work. I'm trying to entertain your wife with a golf story. You're wasted. So I go, hey, so I'm on playing with Ollie and we're on the first tea. Yeah. And just already just such a blank face. And I go, these these these older guys are there. And this guy recognized me, he goes, I mate, you know, Mr Lego versus can you do a video for my wife, right? Diane, big fan, I said, this guy's, you know, he's like, we've been married 35 years. So I said, all right, film this.

I say, so, so I tee up. And the guy's filming, and I turn around and I go, hey, Diane, this is for you. And then, honey, I hit the greatest golf shot I've ever hit. I smoked this drive right down the middle, 250 metres. And she's going, mm-hmm. And I was like, but that's okay, because there's more of the story. And she goes, what's this, she's going, mm-hmm. And I was like, but that's okay

because there's more of the story. And she goes, what's this, what's this just you doing, good golfing? No, no, but it's a fluke. It was a fluke like, you know, and we're laughing going, what are the chances of that? This guy's filming me.

Then we get to the end, the 18th. He comes running back out of the clubhouse. He goes, it didn't work. My video didn't work. And it's the last shot of the day. I mean, colleagues dating this story out there. Carl's, listen, it's a universally good story. It contains entertaining elements. Yeah.

So, here comes running out. And I've got about a 15-foot part. And I go, he goes, it didn't work. Mate, can I take a photo? I said, hey, film this. So, light up the part. And I go, yeah, I like it. I go, hey, Diane, this is for you. Am I dry in the pot?

And we all lose it. Because two times that we're filming for Diane, something incredible's happened. Two flutes. Hmm. Ha ha ha. You're doing so much better. You're big, slippage.

I can't find a horn. I knew he can't find a horn. I knew he can't find a horn know he's been looking for ages. I'm actually getting more time than you deserved. I'm getting more time than you deserved. He said to me, do we do it? So I'm there to show you guys, what's the point of it?

What, you did two great things. I was like, no, no, no, two flooks. It's a story about two flooks. It's not about golf. She's like, never tell me what happened. Because I was like, I'll show you the video. I don't wanna see a video of what you just told me. And I showed you the video.

It was like, see everyone's a cheer here. Oh, I'm fun. Mate, Jake, if you find the horn, get it to Zoe. Cause she needs it. I'll do this. It's back. It's back. Hey, I'm quick Lucense't created enough this year.

Don't worry, they'll come. First one, final banning sausages, a lot of gate. Jeepers. You guys, regarding banning sausages, there's one combo that I haven't heard you discuss, but I enjoy on a rare occasion. A squirt of sauce and mustard along the finger. No, we don't. We don't have a lot of cheese. You guys, regarding Vanning's sausage, there's one combo that I haven't heard you discuss, but I enjoy on a rare occasion.

A squirt of sauce and mustard along the finger. Normally. Do you have a man? This is not as uncommon as it seems. I had someone mention this to me the other day and this is true. They were like, what about when you just ask for it on your finger? I was like, how desperate are you for sauce, but I guess it happens. He says, a squirt of sauce and mustard along the finger.

Normally no charge, great option to give it a hurry. The sauce, the stags look a bit suspect. Smell the stags, taste the sauce. You'll be fine. Yeah, so that's that one. The other one's a bit more important. And I'm sure you may have seen this coming, your side of the fence, a lot of direct messages when we uncovered new uncovered. Sorry a lot of the detective work.

I feel like the sergeant now getting to read out all the work that you've done and trying to claim a little bit of a prize. I do it for the station. Yep. The chewy drag ease is what a mintos is. Meal-y following a tip. Yep. Born in Bionel, Lertlissner, always the best ones. For people who aren't listening to the show in chronology order, we recommend going back to the start. But if you haven't, Hamish realised that they're called a mintos chewy dragis.

Chewy dragis, the shape. That's an overloid candy with a hard shell and a softer centre. A candy diamond, kud and does also qualify as a draggy. Yep, it can be a crunchy draggy. And we were discussing today that an M&M would probably be a draggy because it's got a hard. Same set.

Same set. Bad news for us, because we've really enjoyed saying draggy. It's a French term. Oh no, you're not paying attention to that. Either a one. That's what it's just wanted to see what we see. It's a drawjade. No one say that. No, no. Chewy drawjade. If you want that, put the pronunciation in brackets. No one's expected to know that. Exactly. Just. You're someone who made Australia mate. So I just wanted to get an idea of where we stand in that position, was that we are ignoring

that. And we, the Australian way to say, there's plenty of things where we say something in Australia, it pronounced it differently overseas. The Australian way to say, draggy is draggy, not dry, Jay. Absolutely. And I will be, if we have a little meeting after the show today, I'll be asking to edit this bit out because we certainly never revisit this again. Even if this stays in, we'll never, we'll never, I'll act completely dumb to this information. Who's the guy you can't say in Harry Potter?

Voldemort. Voldemort. Okay, yeah. It's a bit like that. We will never say, I'll never say the French pronunciation of Drago. Yeah, it will lie. pronunciation of Drago. Yeah, it will lie. I'm excited to have a special skill in studio. Lucy, good to see you. Thank you. Or Lucia, isn't it? Lucia. Lucia Andy. Yeah. This, um, we had a challenge to fade about this on the way you did. And Lucia, do you know what, since we can't actually settle on, Lucia, Lucia, maybe we call you Lucia. You're not be the first.

Okay. Well, park that port and there's, but might be reasons why, well, I want you to know that if you ever hear us for 30 was Lucia, it's our affectionate Nickname for you. Yes, exactly. That's how it's sort of like our pet name. I'm not with that already. I'm petnained. But, no, Lucy, I think people thought you might be a Peter out because we talked to you

a long time ago. Even my friends are that. Yeah, really. If you you might be a Peter out because we talked to you a long time ago. Even my friends at that. Yeah. Yeah. If you think you're a Peter out. No. No, absolutely not. Because your special skill got us very excited. It's to do with being able to scrub the accurately on Spotify, band a drag that little white circle to the exact spot in songs. A pre-determined spot. You can claim, I can hit the bridge, I can hit the chorus. You just know all songs. I mean, every single one. You're a sing teacher. Yes. And so is it, is this coming handy when you're teaching students? Yeah. Let's try the chorus. Exactly. And then I'll be like, oh, let's go over this section.

And then I'll scroll to it. And it was my students that pointed out to me. There are, we put together a playlist of 100 songs, and we're going to pick them at random. I think five songs we're gonna pick. I'm gonna, you can pick any part of songs. So if I said chorus or pre-chorus or bridge or verse, you'd get a bridge. You'd get a bridge. Yeah, pre-bridge.

That was a bridge. What's a pre-bridge? I've never heard of a pre-bridge, have you heard? No, I haven't. I'm just swirl throwing around terms, so let's include everyone. What do you think, Jack, what part of the song would you like to hear? Oh, I'm sorry. Just add an interest here of pre-bridge.

I'll write one with a pre-bridge, just for you. Okay, but that's, so Andy is actually going to run that part of it because he has some more formal training and, fortunately, he can only feel me. I don't know any of the lingo. But that's fine. Ando's got the list. He's got the parts of the song he would like you to scrub too. Now, are you scrubbing to the start of them or just anywhere in them?

I can try for the start. Yeah. That's a good question because if we say chorus, what would be, would we like to land, you know, one sentence into the chorus? I think first line of any of these, you want to, that's the area you want. I've been practicing it with that way,

but I would also take the freedom, if you just say in the middle of the section. Okay, yeah, it would sound better to hear some of the chorus, not to be like, oh, I was two seconds before the chorus. Even though that would be better for your students, because you get to be the leading. What do we want to hear, Andy, you pick. I think we have to hear the first line

of the zone. That's good. Yeah. Yeah. Four out of five. It's really hard because we're talking seconds here. Yeah. Four out of five. And it's very much a gut thing. So you do feel music. I do. Oh yeah. One of the rare ones that is for me traders well as feeling I'm on you I mean, bless you Congratulations 4 out of 5 Ain't bad

Yeah, okay, you'll get yourself coin You're looking at 5 Coin town 4 out of 5 I think 5 out of 5 Get your name coin coin That is very, very fair Lucia, or as we affectionately collect it for you Lucia, for reasons you're about to hear, let's do name of how good are these guys

I'm talking about the name and they just threw it in the song live The song is Mr. Brightside by the killers Who see was putting that in and I'd like to see a chorus And I'd like to see a chorus Actually soren in her art is very dropped into a sign. Yeah, what what what what what minutes and seconds is she gone to What have you gone till it? She's got about halfway through the song surprised me wait, did you want the first chorus? Doesn't matter. Okay, I'm a chorus. I'm a chorus ready to go. Yeah, good luck

Huh Do you want the first chorus? Doesn't matter. Okay, I'll chorus. Ready to go. Yeah, good luck. Oh! No! Isn't that it? No, it's not. It's pre-chorus. It's pre-chorus. Yes. Pre-chorus.

Pre-chorus. Pre-chorus. The bit that comes before the chorus. Yeah, it links out before the chorus. You didn't know music. Yeah, I know some things. Yeah. Yeah.

It'll pre-chorus there. It'll pre-chorus and it's not as satisfying as the chorus, because that is what was requested. I'll just sing the chorus. Okay. That's okay. Lucia. Yeah. Riptide.

By Vance Chouy. I'd love the bridge. That's the song. That's just you Lucia. Yeah, that's all right. Riptide. By Vance Chouy, I'd love the bridge. That's the song. That's just you queuing it up here. You mean seeing me the bridge part? I just want to know. Oh, that's nice. This is a joke.

This is a joke off. Yeah. Are you sure? Oh, I can't do it. I don't get any. I can't do it. No,'t do it. I can't do it. Okay, no, no, trust yourself here. Yeah.

So it's the bit before. Like of course at the end. Hang on, so it's the bit where I swear she's destined for the screen? Yes, it's a three minute 20 song. She's gone two minutes 12 in. She's exactly two thirds through the song. Okay, if fans joy is listening

and we know he does listen to the pod, he at the moment is the only person that knows. If this is correct or not. Let's see if we're going to hear some bridge, first line of it. No, I'm... It was the last line of the bridge. I mean, how many lines did she miss?

I thought that was great. Three. It's six line bridge. You're going to give it to her. Well, both of these I've thought she's got correct, so. So, I'm going for the common man out there. Okay. I'll give it to her.

No, like, you did get the bridge. I think it's enough to play on. Play on and bet the leany and seas now reducing. You did technically get the bridge, but the stringency, this is where, you know when rocket ships launch and the fuel tanks fall away, like think of me as the fuel tanks. I'm now breaking away and you're left with Andy.

Okay, so I'm usually pretty loose, you see, but now I end, it's just you and Andy brawling into the stratosphere. And you please the main thruster. Andy Hero by Taylor Swift. You went out, go ahead, is that not the one you'd want? I did it recently with a student, which is why I chucked it in there, but.

Okay, I was gonna say, I've really imagined tons of people wanna sing Taylor. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. What's the most requested person that people wanna sing, Adele? Adele, Lewis Capaldi. Cat Stevens? Yeah, I just does it. Adele, Lewis Capaldi. Cat Stevens? Yeah, I just did it right.

That's my whatever cat sings in. Or Yusuf, that's my zone. Like, you know. It's nap time, Jamaica, check. That's just he and I share. We feel the same for us. We both try to show up. My mind wasn't clear.

It was confident. I was confident. I was confident. You were confident. I was confident. It's not a time. 10,000,000 you just feel it feel it's just like I did What was that that was exactly on the first eye of I should not be left or I own devices, which is the pre-chorus for Taylor Swift. Now you're standing in the presence

of someone feeling you, two people feeling you. Okay, so, I know sunshine. Okay, feel with it. Okay, I think we've been impressed, we've been near, there's been controversy. This needs to like, we need to see it land bang on. And for a coin, I think that's fair to say it all comes down to this. First line, the bridge.

Like to hear the bridge. I bet I know, I know, I know. Okay. Land it on, I know, I know, I know. That's you know. Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

What's she doing? What's she doing? Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no! Listen up! Oh, the cheaters, I almost got you! You have got a coin! You have got a coin! Y'all ready? You can scrub!

Damn, that's good scrubbing. Thank you. Were there any, were there any, is there was no cheating going on? Because that was, I have sung this song before, because I'm also a singer. I just performed these songs too.

And you've never seen that part about 58 seconds in, would you? Oh, it's about 45. Yeah. That was great. Well done. Congratulations. I hope you don't get ordered on that one. No, I think the wrong commission will be happy with that coin.

Hey, I'm on this pod. I think last year the Big Four fruits came up. Yes, yes. Which really sparked people's interest as to obviously Orange, Apple, Banana, the Big Three. That's why I was such a fascinating conversation because it clearly was a big three question. Yes. And opening the door for one lucky winner to join the big three is forced a lot of people to nominate who they would like to win, who they would like to send to the final four. We have the big four banks here in Australia. If they did open it to a big five, we'd probably have the same situation.

We, a few, no, those other banks would be going, hang on. Well, I think it's me guys. I think it might be me. People bought up the grapes. Grape scene to be where it landed for everybody. Mainly not for me either, not for me, but they did make good points. I, it's not, and don't get it confused with your favorite. That was the other thing that we would stress to the judging panel This isn't what do you like the most? It's what's sort of the most ubiquitous. What's out there? I think and again

I can't stress this enough. I'm not saying it's one of my favorite fruits. I don't have anything against it But I think pair had a climb pair had a claim I don't have anything against it, but I think Pear had a claim. Pear had a claim. Pear had a claim. People argue that because grapes get drawn painted so much, I feel like grapes is kind of forgettable when you think it like if we hadn't been talking about fruits and I said name five fruits, you wouldn't think of grapes. I agree.

Not even in my top 60. And I also think grapes, you've got wine. Don't be greedy. You already have a whole industry about you. Just set off, just set off that you don't have to go to the fruit Olympics. So I was at the supermarket. I was growing some supplies and a big, another big four question came up for me. Big four batteries. Really? What you mean? Battery types or brands? That battery types. You got a really two brand.

Double A. Yep. Double A and triple A are double A triple A 100% they occupy the top two. I would say double A then triple A. Yep. So double A's a big dog. Yep. Yep. Triple A then nine volts. Seize. Oh, season nine volt. That makes it, that sort of brings it brings it home. Is to see the small smaller of the big fatties. Well, I don't want to see. I see a bit thinner than D's of the big boys. I don't think I think I never use a seat. No No D's you use you use it. What do you use D's for is D9 for or different? No, no square is 9 acoustic guitar yeah, yeah pedals yeah pedals that is so I think that's clearly lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years.

It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years.

It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years.

It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a lot of years. It takes a But there's so many types and I just had to change one for a baby's book that sings to you and there's 2032 There's 2035 the 2027 safety winters. I could you screw it in tight. I did screw it in tight Well, there's ones there, you know, any parenting circle. It's just like that's like having a loaded gun in the house Because they can be swallowed those ones and they can burn they have battery acid in them. Yeah, so They're they're they're remember like, you know, the singing battery acid in them. So they're, they're,

remember like, you know, the singing birthday cards? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Then someone sort of figured that out and they were rapidly, I think, went out of fashion. I thought garage remote that treat, that, that kind of circular, I just pull mine up with a rusty old rope. I just parked my car out in the open. How do you charge it? I've never really actually not very efficiently, but like with a long extension cord out there, we've never really seen this. You put this extension cord out the window

to your left car. This is not one Elon in vision when he invented Tesla's Jack. You have to leave the window open. It just slightly cracked. Like cracked the thickness of an extension cord. I mean, that's like trickle-charging though, isn't it? How far's the house from, you've bought in your house? So we've got a driveway.

Yeah, OK, so it's in the driveway still. It's still in the driveway, isn't it? I was picturing, what were you doing at in Cobra? No, then I had to use the public available charges. And you, when didn't you force your radio station to put charges in there? I tried to do a deal with them where they built one to use the public available charges. And when didn't you force your radio station to put charges in there? I tried to do a deal with them

where they built one in the radio station but they never got around. But what was the deal you were offering? What was I was like, oh, I would just love that. I would love one. I would love one. I would love one. I would love for you.

I would love for you. I would love for you. I would love for you. I would love for you. Have they really said no to that deal? They're tough business mongrels. So now as it stands, Jack's has a giant aerial hoping for lightning, just directly transfers into the cast. Like back to the future too.

As soon as he hears about a lightning storm he's off. He's about to scrap the aerial on the go. Go and try and find the lightning. Mother Nature is my charger. Well that's fun. I don't think we can determine what the force back is. It's a... Could be button. I think button's going to great claim. I retract C&D. I was just thinking about the aisle. There's probably too many season days available. I actually know, I don't even know what you think about it. You see in D4. The other big one, some of the bigger, like toys and things like that would take a scene, indeed.

Like, they have to be pretty big toys. Oh, I honestly think it's just torches. It's like security torches. Well, then I thought of that big torch. Oh, the dolphin. The dolphin has that. That's like a car battery. It does have a screen.

The intensive battery to brightness ratio, because before worst on the market, doesn't it? The size of that battery, it should burn through walls, it should be that powerful, and it's the deepest piece of shit. I am. So anemic. What's in that battery? Because it's not electricity. Playing it open up a most of its hollow. It's just a nice, handy place to store socks and other nicknacks. LAUGHTER

MUSIC Gentlemen, went into a public toilet the other day. And it was one of the many toilets. Because you've been going there, accidentally. Because you've been going there, accidentally. A fair question. Had my full widths about me? And the proprietors of the toilet

had done the right thing by making the signage nice. And the three things I insist on, nice, clear and familiar rather than doing trick signs. And so both customer and venue were able to achieve the goal, which is to get the right person in the right genitals. Get them in, we're able on. So I, or even just I was trying to go into the toilet, I prefer. Yes. All right. All right. I would like to use. So I go, I'm going to make the prefer the next. It works the perfect thing because you... The perfect, there is a loophole with perfect.

There is a loophole with perfect. You don't want that. In fact, when you come in with any system, it's a worthwhile question to go. Now let's just check if there's any loopholes with perverts. Yeah, because they're the last people you want to give to loopholes too. You want it? If you're giving a loophole to give everyone, give a loophole to a Scallywax.

Not a pervert. Yeah, exactly. You're not a member. Yeah. So that wasn't a lot of preferred. It's all I wanted to go into. It means. But it was at, it was a fancier one because it was one of the ones that has advertising,

like, you know, behind this very, very locked, like you see at the airport, like there's locked down perspex things. Yes. So as you urinate, you can read it and have a read of something or like a local notice or something. But those things, so funny, always noticed that you sometimes see them in shopping centers or airports or sometimes just in regular public torts, like near the beach or whatever, they are so locked down. Those things, like, they're like, it's like,

like, on-proof glass and perspix. Sometimes you can't even see through it because, but it's like, who's trying to get in there that bad to steal? Because we obviously have to pay to be in that spot. But like, no one's at home printing off their own A4 going, hey, if we get down to the public toilets with like a small amount of explosives, we could blow open that screen. Get rid of the, get rid of the, um, Elliot Goverett. Elliot Goverett. Elliot Goverett. Elliot Goverett to be your corporate comedian post at the airport and put our own up. You're never free.

Get eyeballs for free. Yeah. Anyway, as part of this, there's a big sign that goes, um, take, take photos of your local public toilet. I have seen that. Have you seen this jacket? What? take photos of your local public toilet. I have seen that. Have you seen this, Jack? What?

Yeah, take photos of your local public toilet. Send them in. Yeah. You could win 500 bucks. I was like, then I thought, what is this being run by Per? And they're now soliciting. But I was like, what is this about? And then it's like, they're running.

What are they winning? So, let me slowly peel back the confusion layer because I have a lot of confusion with you. Yeah. Because the great dummy hunt is on. Best dummy in Australia. What do you mean we're hunting, yeah, we're hunting for dummies.

Like we've got, we've got them there everywhere. Like it's not a hard thing to find, but then I was like, this looks like it's from the government. And it kind of is, it's a government initiative to take photos like crowdsource. You only went for, well, it's 500 bucks, I suppose, if you the best. It doesn't say how you take the best photos. It says in very small print, the winner will be decided by a panel using criteria. Like, I think they've all come together and put on their photos and I would love to be

in the room to go. Yeah. Are we talking like composition of the photo? Are we talking, did you get it all in? Did you do Fishai lens? Did you, like, is a real estate one? Anyway, there's, there obviously, the prize I assume is bait to get everyone to, but really get behind the Dunning Hunt. And, but what's the goal?

The goal is, I think. So then you read sort of read the print. I went online, I was intrigued. So they are trying to of read the print. I went online, I was intrigued. So they are trying to add photos to the National Public Toilet Map website and app. Oh, so when people are wondering where to go to the Lou.

Yeah, you can get a public toilet map. And then you do know, and first I was looking at this going, what this is ridiculous. The more I looked into it, the more I'm like, fully on board, the Dunning Hunt. How many, how many toilets so much? How many photos are they getting with a little turd? Sting the bowl. Well, you wouldn't win if you do that.

Yeah, you wouldn't. But I think there has been more bubbles perverts, but they're not going to win. They're open to, they're probably going to get some graphic photos. Yes. Someone off. Yeah. That joke would have occurred to people. Yeah. You were saying, yeah, like it's the only thing that you could do.

I just think you and I know that we've seen so many initiatives come through the show and you know, like particularly when you're asking for crowdsourcing, the kind of thing that you're going to get straight away. And I would think that would be on a list of one thing. So she's the thing waiting for you. I'm actually on the website now. Winners will be notified by June 26th, right? You've got time.

You've got time to get them in. I think the prize is, at the very least, you'll get your photo possibly added to the National Public toilet map. So that's a bit of fun. That's like being able to go, hey, if you go to Google Maps, I took that photo. Yeah. But a bit different, National Public toilet map,

not quite at Google Map level. But I was like, this is actually the first I've heard of this map. Have you heard of this map before? Actually not, it's quite a useful thing. They claim that there's, I think on the website of red,

there's some right there, like this is where we need a toilet fast right so if you're living with incontinence or you know disability that's a great thing they say the five million people are living with incontinence or possibly need to get to a toilet quickly that does seem like I understand like you know pregnant ladies that sort of thing like you know maybe at some time in your life yes I look without wanting to I understand there, you know, pregnant ladies, that sort of thing, like, you know, maybe at some time in your life. I look without wanting to, I understand there are people that have these genuine medical needs.

I wouldn't not put myself in that category. What do you mean? I, well, I often need a fast toy. Yeah, right. I give you that a coffee. Yeah, yeah. It's not a disability, and I'm not trying to take away, you know, the line might from people that have a genuine disability,

but I need a quick Lou. I need it. I can't look at any other way to say. But then if you're so, if you're in a hurry to get to a Lou, are you really flicking through photos going, this one looks nicer than this one down the road? Yeah, no, Jack, I've never walked out of one. I've done. I'll always take what I'm given. But I suppose what you could do is you could pre-plan your day and maybe find one in your area that's because there are toilets that are much better. You could find the Shangri-La, like the... Here's the thing. I think it's a great service, National Public Tournament.

They're obviously only including public toilets. The map that I want to see is the next tier. I know of a few toilets. I know of a few toilets in my area that you could use without being the customer. Right? Buildings, office buildings. There's a very good one I almost don't want to reveal where it is that I use quite a lot because there's a lot of times where I'm under cafe and they don't have a toilet. And then as we've talked about before, the worst possible scenarios when the toilet opens up onto the dining area.

You can't use that. No, you can. You might as well have no toilet. And in Sydney, especially around the area where I live, they're real sets of premium. Like it's a very, very small area. There is a toilet. Mm-hmm. And I'll show you when you're up next. Thank you, mate

People often wonder what it's like being friends of how you like well you get the It's out the back of the strip of shops and it's technically just for the butcher Oh, like because they've obviously they they own the butcher and what comes if you go around the back with a with a car park, like a normal shop street, there's that user that gravel bit around the back that's not for anyone, just for the people that work at the shop. You can never walk around there. Oh, yeah. And I've had a walk around there, and there's a toilet back there that's meant to be just for the butchers.

Yeah. But you run your odds, you know, nine o'clock or, honestly. You know, as the butcher opens, do you be sitting together toilet? Yeah. I've never been caught. I've never been caught.

And inside on the butcher's thing, there's like the roster of who has to clean it and stuff. And I'm thinking of next time I go, doing a mystery clean, because it's sort of like right, you know, Dave Sally, like, it's obviously not fun to clean that toilet part of your job working with butchers. You think you've used it enough that you'll clear it? I've probably used it over a dozen times. It's not enough. And I think, and I'm usually trying to do a gun in 60 seconds, or sometimes I treat myself maybe two or three minutes.

Yeah. But you don't want to get caught in there because you're not. You don't work with butchers. But it is the most convenient toilet for me. And I think I might do a mystery clean. But then, but because I feel like I owe it to the most convenient toilet for me. And I think I might do a mystery clean. But then, because I feel like I owe it to the toilet, but then I think it will alert them, exactly.

That there's a phantom toilet user. So I'm trying to be a good guy here. Yeah, that's, but it will possibly raise security and get me caught. You know, that's the map I want to see. The national sneaky pooh. security and get me caught. You know, that's the map I want to say. The national sneaky, cheeky boy toilet map, but again, not to be confused with purpose.

That's it. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Hahaha. Sorry, just as we were having a giggle there,

we turn off the mics and Jack goes, we should do that. We should build the map. Yeah. The national turn off the mics and Jack goes, we should do that. We should build the map. The national cheeky boy toilets map. I think we should. We're going to. Even if it starts slow and it's just people saying, on email the corner of Elizabeth and Swaston Street, there's a great building there that you can get in.

Yep, cheeky boys. Cheeky boys and girls. Yes. Just a cheeky toilet map. Let's see what we get.