Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2023 Ep 224

Episode Date: August 9, 2023

1. Croc wars - Kip the spy 2. Special Weasel’s Unit 3. Keep it or delete it - British Airways 4. Cheeky toilet update - Hamish’s butcher deal 

A list-naf production. Activate your internet. Because the Hamish and the podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. A hoi- me, Christmas! Hey, Mish. Hey.

I'll fold you a good one. That's not a Christmas I was thinking, but that's good. Oh, a Hoi to me. Fogo. Jack. Fogo. All right, like a Pogo stick, but with it there being acronym, it's really, if you're out, you're out.

Oh, it's kind of acronym-y. I'm the long stick. We all have sticks. I'm sorry I'm a Christmas, but I have a stick. Jack's a photo, but I have a stick. Like a poker stick, I guess. And what are you again, Andy? The long stick.

The long stick, not surprising. Congrats on the L.S. And it's fun to write. It's fun to steal on the IP. No,ats on the L.S. And it's fun to write some still on the IP. No, I'm in defense. And so I guess this is what this is looking for. You got it. Oh boy, bass.

Yes. Yes. Yes. Fogo stands for face off get off. So you do the face off at the start of the game and after each ball. And then normally go straight to the bench, I think is what they're saying here. I haven't watched too many of their cross-gones. Hey, I'm Criesman, you're the attacker.

Hangs out close to goal, get it to the Criesman. School goal, go home. Yes, school goal, go home. You have to stay face off, get off the school goal, go home. And what are you doing? You're a long stick. I just quite like the fact that Jack is the, I'm a long stick. I'm a defender who's the longer stick in the back one.

Yeah, I mean, I, I can't say I've ever watched more than one minute of lacrosse, like you see a highlight here and there, but I don't have no idea how it's played. No. But a longer stick, well I guess it can reach up higher in the air and grab the ball. Yes, you can. Can you poke people with the stick? No, no poking, I don't think, but I think that you, I would imagine you want to be more nimble with the smaller one to be able to flick gold.

Yeah. And maybe you would, you would catapult further with the longest stick would you from the back? I'll like the tennis ball throwing stick with the dog's pie. Yeah. The wang up. Yes. Interesting question on the wang.

I was actually thinking about this the other day. It's what it's called. The wang. No, isn't it? I've just always called them wangers. Well, the like the stick with the tennis ball. That's what it's called. The wang. No, I've just always called them wangers. Well, the faggustik with the tennis ball. Yeah, the thing is called... I think it's called a throw stick.

Throw stick? Well, you know, you see them, you use them in the cricket that's to throw it down and stuff. So, is that an Aussie invention? Oh. And, and if you're the person that invented the throw stick, slash the wanger. Yeah. Are you a mill you near? sticks, latched the wanger. Yeah.

Are you a millionaire? Oh, yeah. You've done a lot. You've done a lot. No, you're easily a millionaire. But would everyone steal the design? Or is it just one brand? But maybe he's patented.

Can you patented that? Oh, you have to. Because it is pretty smart to go. When you just flick it, just perfectly releases the ball at that speed. Kales, can you grab us the inventor of the wanger on the phone by the end of the episode? That's the first time you've ever done that. Yeah, just search wanger.

Tiki, I just search wanger online. She's saying they call chukets. Oh, chukets. OK, not a millionaire. They've missed out on a good branding opportunity when they didn't call them wangers. See what? Carly's eyes went a little wider when he typed in wanger. I might need to take my computer to the other room

to thoroughly research this. Ahoy also to Rachel in Brisbane ham using the very easy to use system at www.habisheed.com to upload audio and what she's been up to. Ahoy boys, Rachel from Brisbane, currently sowing old towels into door socks to stop the cold breeze coming under my door this winter and I'm pondering in the situation of a partner or roommate walking in to the toilet when you're on the

toilet is that a totally powerless situation for both parties or does someone have the upper hand there. Thank you. Great question. Great question. Well, I mean, if you sit on the call and just go, hey, mate, can you pass me like, and you're just really cool about it. I mean, if you're seeing the turn, someone walks in and you just stand up for front ones,

spread your arms and go, this is who I am. Get a great walk. I mean, no one's expecting that level of confidence. No, but it's just that it's been quick into it though. Even remaining seated and being casual, I think would give you the power. I think if someone walked in and you're in the middle of your business and they went, oh sorry, no, come in. Come on in. Come on in. What are you doing? I've actually been meaning to talk to you. That is a power move.

What do you think that is about? It's home. Something that has been brewing in the background for a while. We get some relief. Then we follow them up and we're like, is this progressing the story? Is it the same information? Yeah. It's the crock bombshells that we're getting from the Northern Territory of Australia. We're obviously, it was the two spectacular crock jumping tour.

And then the original crock jumping tour, they refused to admit that the other two, they either the other ones each other exist. And then the real bombshell was the piece of information. And we won't go into it here, but just to quickly recap. But original was the second business in the market. So, very rare you would think for the second business to name themselves original. They obviously felt they did have a claim to the originality of the idea of holding chickens out on sticks to make crocodile jump.

Because you're right. And it all came about because if you see spectacular jumping, crock jumping to us, you know their second market. Yeah. And this is where this is coming. This is where the bad blood starts by them both going, hey, we thought of this idea where we've got claim to this.

Got an email from a person called the Territory Informer. So anonymous. Boys, I work for the NT government parks and wildlife commission. Okay, this is probably one of someone high up. I've got someone in the inside. And someone neutral for the first time. Yeah, that's true.

Of course, so we hope Jack, because I hate to wake up your naivety, but sometimes those in government are not always neutral my friend. He goes, I've looked at our records, we issue licenses for croc tours to operate. Correct. So he knows. And back in the day, things got so bad between the operators,

we had to officially step in and mediate. So there already has been peace talks between these companies. Because again, people have to speed. We were hoping to perhaps win a Nobel Peace Prize, if needed, by getting everyone around the table and negotiating a crock piece. He said, the outcome being that the bridge, I remember I mentioned the bridge, it feels like one of them is north of Bridge One Cell.

The bridge is in fact now an official no man's land, and neither shall pass onto other side. The person who said that there is a big rub between the operators wasn't exaggerating. Back in the old territory days, there were lots of shenanigans going on between. That's what I wanna hear more about. What were the shenanigans? What shenanigans, if you've got any other intel.

That is an area with like flesh down. It is funny, the no-un Territory is such a fun place. Like it's so much fun day visit and live there. But there always is talk of the old Territory days. Like it was like something happened 10, 20 years ago where the Territory started getting a little bit more formalized. Like, it felt like you could get away with stuff in the Territory. Because there was no speed limits in the territory and then they're like

All right Like 100 coming line Yeah, 130 isn't it. Yeah, all right fine. We'll put a number on it But we don't love it We want it high. We don't love it. So there was just it just seemed to be like quite a lot of slack And that was that was something that people a lot of people enjoyed having that level of slack in the territory She talks to the Sunaticans and he says, it's now evolved to an easier flat out refusal to acknowledge one another. Okay, great.

As for the best tour, it's an eternity end of your trip. Come up, try and both. You guys make the decision. Now obviously he's trying to press a little bit of tourism for Newtodd, but he has got a point. I mean, we'll promote the tourism tourism so whether we go or not. Yes. If we can, I mean if we do get up there to negotiate a truce, you'd have to take both tours.

Yeah. After you say, but what we don't want to start is a war by taking the one tour and all unanimously deciding that one's the best thing to do. Yeah, absolutely. My answer to this is, yeah, that's right. This is like Kofi and I and Seen down going, hey, come on guys, let's just agree to put aside our differences. Even though country A is clearly better. That's right. That's not what a U.N. So we won't do that to a future moment.

He's the thing. We obviously want to go on. We're going to want to go on both tours, but really with the intention that we're going to bring together the similarities. Sure, we do have a blind taste test of Pepsi and Coke, but what about tours? Oh, that would be hard, but not a bad idea. So we just want, so we never know which is, we don't know what to or open our eyes and we see crocs jumping and we independently go, I enjoyed the second tour of the house.

So the guy would have this. We're a non-branded top. Yep. And they wouldn't be able to say where they are. Yes. We might not have to do it. I've got Nemo here from a young man and royalty card holder. Kip.

Kip's a Darwinian. He's a resident and he goes, look, I'm heading out that way this weekend. Okay, that's this this weekend coming. He said, I am going to find myself on the spectacular jumping crocodiles cruise with my partner. He said, unlike Andy's Victorian hose of money, I didn't buy my ticket. I had to win it in a local, local voucher form at the Darwin Travel Expo, very common man. Oh, good stuff. Because the spectacular jumping tour about is slightly more expensive.

It was a dollar or two more expensive than that. I think it, oh, I can't remember. To be honest. Anyway, he's heading out. He's very excited. He said, look, I would be happy to go on both in an undercover weasel-like fashion. Yeah, that's good. That's great. That's good.

So he's offering his investigative and diplomatic services, because if down the road you would like to use me as an H&A special envoy, I will be happy to do that too. So I wrote back to him and said, look, first mission, don't say who you are or who you're representing, go as a spy. He said, look, I suggest that I could weasel some information on the following topics, origins of the dispute, when was jumping discovered in the Adelaide River. Who was second to market and how they got the naming rights original? Who ticketed first? Who saw jumping first? Current B4 issues between the two,

any compromises or previous mediations that have been had? 0.8, interest in participating in H&A sponsored peace talks. Nine, interest, that's not what it was. I'll tell you, don't do that, keep that undercover. Nine, interest in bringing the bridge down or permitting the other party to venture past the bridge. That's interesting. And add to that past shenanigans.

Past shenanigans. Yeah, past shenanigans. Yes, we'd like to know shenanigans. So I'll give you that info. What shenanigans has taken for? See if you can get it out of both of them. Do you feel that you know how we're saying, okay, we want someone to take them both and give us an unbiased nod.

Yeah. Maybe we should take that off, but that's not what this shows about. It's more about, we don't care which one's the best. We always choose who's the best on the show. That's what about a courtent? Well, I'm just saying, I don't think we have any, I think we have a lot of weight on our personal preferences.

I don't think keep, can go and do all those questions. Yep. And then have the natural experience of crock jumping. No one goes there and asks of the history so deeply. Well, we've got a real tourism fan on our hands. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, okay. And it's also be clear too that the idea of peace talks again,

gentlemen, I bring you back to the notion that it is not deciding who's the best. That's a point of fact. Yeah, yeah, it's saying, guys, that's not the point of what's going on here. We've got to learn how to get along together and see. What is the best outcome if we did go there with the idea? I do what this is really about, Jack. It's about getting someone from spectacularly to say,

no, they're the best at original. And some from original to see the good in spectacular. That's what real piece is. Seeing the positive in each other, not having it decided by a third party, you are in fact, if the best. I feel like, I feel like if we could get them together, if we could get them to take each other's tour.

And one of them complements the other. Yep. Oh, take each other's tour. Take each other's tour and hug at the end. And say something nice about it. And not do this when they say something, Go. Yeah. No, I don't know. I don't know, giggles. Yeah. Jackie, just wanted to. I thought maybe the, we do some sort of event when we get up there. If they agree to come together and have peace talks, we hold some sort of party

on the bridge. In the middle of the bridge, they come and shake hands, the two tours, and then the town celebrates and we all party into the night. It's like, it's North Korea, isn't it? It's very North South Korea that you meet or Berlin, really. Berlin. It feels like very Berlin. I've heard a very big news in Visiting. Basically, the bridge from Berlin, like from like Cold War movies, yeah, between East and West Berlin. Yeah, it's a very close of the map. It's a, it's like a, yeah, between East and West Berlin. Yeah, it's a very bit hotter than that. It's like a tiny, tiny Sydney Harbour bridge. Right. It's like a very well-used highway. Like, it's a road bridge. It's a road bridge. Cars, shut it down. We're in the middle of it. Cars are going at 130 km.

Right, it's a freeway. It's quite it's it's quite a I still like it Jack though I still like the idea that maybe meet under the bridge can we do that and bury a hat chair down let's put the crock's lip It's actually both ways it's dangerous, but I actually think I'd prefer on top of the top of the least you can see him coming, but I like that's the symbolic. That's that symbolism around. It needs to be somewhere that is neutral territory. That's the outcome you want to see.

But first, let's get an answer to all those questions from Kip. Can you ask Kip to do this as well, him? Soon as he gets off, I know we're not huge on voice notes here, but as soon as he gets off, one of them just gives a report. Just give us a quick one minute. And then it's because I want the immediate impact of that, that to it. And then you see to get the other one the same thing immediate first impressions. Smart, great stuff. And a concerning dossier came to my side of the fence.

You mentioned this to me. I don't know the details of the dossier, but... The heading is special skills misappropriation and weaselry. Weaselry. Weaselry. Now, who could that be referring to on the team? Well, I don't have anything to do with special skills, but I have been labelled a weasel,

so I guess is it something I did? Well, you don't have anything to do with special skills. Like, I don't interfere with any of like, you're rewarding though, you see. Oh, certainly, you see. You see, you see, you see, you see, you see, you witness them, you see them in the studio. You come up to the rooftop. Sometimes it's a casually cast and I have a procedure. Clear up something.

Here, I, Jack, I would never say would weaselies wait into any special skills and compromise any of the competition. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, he wouldn't do that. Nor would he try and affect one of the outcomes. No, not nearly. He's Switzerland in that regard. And squeaky clean record. However, would he ever weasel his way into the contact details of some way that had registered for a special skill? This came in from a young man called Michael Wilson. Okay. Michael Wilson, people might remember on the show, being the record holding largest amount of H&A coin winning people of all time, he assembled Ikea furniture with the skills of the Savon, you laugh Mr. Weasel. Why do you laugh?

Cause I guess, I mean, I feel like this is, this weaseling was done six months ago, so a weasel thought he was out of the bushes, I guess. A weasel's paw-printing neck, he's hiding on this one. But yes, no, unfortunately, this guy has been caught in a weasel trap. This guy, he can put together IKEA furniture in express time without instructions. What a great, quick time. What a great, special skill it was. Beat Jack, that was a day you were involved

in special skill, Jack. He beat you, you had instructions, he did not. Yes, and I was going, I thought I was actually moving so fast and he beat me by, I was on the halfway done when he, and he smoked that desk set. So, you got all the information here. We've thought we should start...

We should start a special court. In the regular podcast system, requests for goods and services with no intention of exchanging money for them are considered especially heinous. The dedicated detectives who investigate these Tidouse incidents are members of an elite squad known as the Special Weasel's Unit. These are their stories. How you taking away? He writes, it's with heavy heart, I feel the need to reach out and report some concerning behaviour.

Earlier this year, I received a text from an unknown number, claiming to be Mr. Jack Post, requesting I come and help him assemble some IKEA furniture. At first, I assumed this to be some kind of joke or a scam. But a quick bit of social media revealed that Jack was indeed putting in some IKEA wardrobes. I was however forced you to work commitments to decline.

Mm-hmm. Mr. Post did not accept my answer. He continued to... Oh, what are you doing? He continued to send me the begging emoji. And I can say, you're on it. This is now me speaking as me, that I have seen screenshots of this.

And it is not, doesn't pay a great picture of Jack. Now, the bit... What? The begging emoji also could be used as thank you emoji sometimes. So maybe I was saying, thank you for your time. Thanks anyway. Unfortunately, it was in a begging context. It seems big ring.

My manager Chloe shout out is a big fan of the show that she would not have been overly happy if it came out that I called in sick because Jack told me to come over and build some wardrobe. Most importantly, and this is why it qualifies, this is why it's not just misappropriation of personal anti-data from the special skills list. This is what qualifies. We'll get to the trial. How did you get the number? Yeah, you put the bear dead. How did you get the number? I think I didn't, it's not like I hacked into the system. I either went to Carly or Mike who worked on the show and said would you please pass on the The winner of the IKEA furniture's details. I want to talk to him privately

I want to talk to him. So it makes it sort of sound like I want to say well done mate. Thanks again for coming on the show Talk me through the thought process that led you to I know the solution I was desperate solution. I was a desperate man. When we got to, we moved house over summer and I built the wardrobes myself on the Ikea digital platform where you get to make it a little digital. You just put it together online. I clicked and it was like playing playing the Sims but for a bedroom. Yeah. I accidentally made it way too tall and way too big. And when it got there it came in 88 boxes.

Yep. And joking. Yeah, no. 88, 88 different boxes. Did you get it wrong by a factor of 10? No, it was just like the doors are in a different box of the instance. If this guy wants a 20 meter high wardrobe,

who will we to say no? So, let me get this straight. Did you make it too big for the room, or it's just wow, it's a lot of wardrobe? No, you can fit to the top of the room, but I just, no one could ever reach up there without a ladder. I just measured the room and I was like, all right, I can get up to three meters

and I had made it 2.8 meters. And then it wasn't until I was building it, I was like, this is way too high for a wardrobe to go. So I have all the 88 boxes open, everything's all over the floors. It's day two of me trying to put them together and I thought, I need a miracle here. And then who popped into my mind,

but Michael, the Ikea genius and I thought he might get a kick out of it like, I get to go to Jack's house. Oh, I want to cross my mind. Oh, I get to go to Jack's house. You already built a house using that theory with all your friends. I might be able to go and do some tiling. Jack, it sounds to the core. I actually heard this season of the block.

The winners don't win money. They just get to go to Jack's house at the end. I actually heard this season of the block. The winners don't win money. They just get to go to Jack's house at the end. Get a real kick out of it. Hey, Jack, it sounds to me like you were desperate, right? Yes, I was. Like, you would have done anything to get that built. Yes. Anything it seems Andy accept paid actual money.

I thought Michael writes. Michael continues in his email. More concernedingly, no compensation of any kind was offered at any point to me and it would appear Jack has taken it upon himself to use the special skills register as his own personal slave workforce. We's already of the highest order. It really makes me wonder who else he's taking advantage of. Well, Jack, I'll be honest, I'll be honest And I was meaning to pay him but what I did What I've seen the Texas yes, yes, no point doesn't say what's your rate? No, can I hire you?

Because I wrote it in such a way that he might do it for free at first And if he didn't want to then I was gonna obviously offer payment Well, you you didn't offer you didn't know No, no, I tried and you didn't even while you were begging for him, like, please, please, please, please. That's when you would put me bring up a money. That's maybe like, oh, of course, you know, mate, or whatever it costs, I'm in over my head,

I'll pay you handsomely. And you got the, I'm surprised I didn't do that because I was so desperate. I saw a blank face, I saw a blank sort of look, come over your face there when I said the phrase, whatever it costs, I'll pay you handsomely. You've never written that and have you, Jack, do anyone. I would never use the term handsomely.

I would use the term mates rates question mark. Amazing. Jack hit the little clanger at the end of the... So did you get him built, Jack? I had to build it. It took me five days. Yeah. Starting first thing in the morning to last thing at night, lights on at night, still drilling away. Unbelievable.

They're all wonky as well. And did you um... what about what about the part of the house we had to guess what brand of baked beans it was? Did you call any of the special skills people for that? Hey, Jack, I want to do a keep it or delete it. Okay. Because I want to go hard. And how disappointed I was at the service of a big company. Oh, I think they could be. They could be a real friend of the network.

Yeah, yeah. So if you guys find out that this is deleted, it might be deleted. We all might all decide that we should delete this. Or our company that runs the podcast for us might lean into a thinker, hey, delete that. Delete that. Well, I hope it's not one of the companies I feel passionately about. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, a sinker, hey, delete that. Well, I hope it's not one of the companies I feel passionately about.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Neither of you will feel the need to defend this, I don't think. I guess it's not one of several peanut butter brands. No. Yeah, my heart. Slow guitars that Jack might need to defend. All right, well, I think we remember how this works. I think Jack's about to play the Keeper or Delete it. If you guys hear anything after that, the break remains, but if not, he has been deleted.

If you go, Jack. Keep it. Or delete it. if you go jail. Cheap it! Or the lead it! Pretty share ways is who I'd like to go after. Yep. I was traveling to Sweden from England with my mum and dad and Beck.

Right. And because my mum's disabled, she normally has to go through a different entry in a wheelchair and so normally takes it either much quicker than us or much slower than us. Yeah, because you think that'd let her jump the line, right? She normally has to go through a different entry in a wheelchair. And so normally takes it either much quicker than us or much slower than us. Yeah, you think that let her jump the line, right? I think they let it jump the line, but sometimes you have to wait for the assistants

to come and find you know, they're on rotation, they will end up around different people. Can I just say and though? Yeah. Take Mark to Disneyland. Oh, you won't regret it. She's just gonna sit and watch me do all the rods. It's like wheeler up. Tell her to bring a book. You guys will have a fun day. That is a well set up system. Okay. Cool. So dad loves doing the push because he sometimes gets through the fast lane and he says see you later very smuggly as he wills through his pass

His human body Um, back and I had gone through the traditional customs lines Dad often just goes he likes being early their things We're gonna go straight to the gate. It was about 40 minutes things we're going to go straight to the gate. There was about 40 minutes. Oh, me? I wouldn't even be at the airport by the end. Exactly. So I said to back, well let's go sitting around. There was murmurs of it being delayed. I went up to the person that landed and said, is it going to be delayed? She said, oh I know, you should all go to the gate or go to the gate now. I said, well I have

time for a massage. Sir, that's only available in the first class lounge. Where do you think I am, babe? Of course, Mr. Lee, right this way. That must be nice. Thank you. I said, this doesn't seem right. Yeah. So I said, you stay over here, lounge.

I'll go chat to my dad. See what's going on. Went down and the airport at Heathrow was one of those ones where they actually kind of check you in the gate and you go into like a glass box. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like the kind of free check in the holding box. Yeah, how many of you, sometimes you feel like, have we done this already? Yeah, two or three in a row.

Yeah. So they're getting us all in the holding box. Yeah, so everybody gets stuck in the holding box here that if you have an option of being in the box or at the food court or whatever Yeah, all lounge. Yes, then you've got to be so careful about going the box Really you're going to early I see mum and dad in the box He's waving to me like There's no food or drink in there

Not going in. He's like no, we could and going in. And I said to a lady, what's going on is the flight delayed. Are we about to board? And she says, yeah, I think so. I think we're checking everybody in. We're checking everybody in. It did seem suspicious. I shouldn't really answer me. So I go through, right?

They're thrilled, they've got me. I reckon that you can see on there in their face that they're like, yes, we've got one of fish. Do they do they get prizes for most men and people they get in the box early So we get in the box and they close the get the doors behind us and This point I'm like sealed in the box now like a David Blaine trick like a magic trick And I said oh, can I understand what's going on? She said we'll tell you in a second sir Um, and I said oh, but just partner's actually at the lounge because we heard it could be delayed. And she said, oh, she'll have to come straight down here. We'll be out

of lettering. And I said, well, what's happening? And she said, I'll turn a second, sir. All the staff, pretty sure, we're staff left the box. Right? Here we go. This is such a baron-con film, something's happening. One staff member came to a microphone on the other side of the glass. They had speakers. That's not a good sign. That's sugar. Had speakers. Attention box people.

This is your life now. You absolute pieces of shit. Look at you. Ha ha ha. Trapped in your box. Yes. He gets on. And he says, attention everybody hitting the Gothenburg. You're playing as cancelled.

You now live in a box. You... There are 10 meal packages, but only 130 people. If you have seen Squid Game, you'll know what happens from here. And so, unsigned a dad, we can't protect him. If you have seen Squid Game, you'll know what happens from here. And so I'm saying to Dad, we can't protect Mum, we have to... He says, what... She's, she might be, you're talking to get out of the box. We are going to open up the, the bridge, the air bridge.

That's what they said. Yes. You will walk down it, because that's the only way out. And then go downstairs and go straight into arrivals. All your bags are on a baggage claim already waiting for you. That's sneaky. So they've waited till everybody was in the box to call it. Oh, you've been boxed and now you're out.

So people are starting to go. Now you're out of the airport. What, what? He's on the other side of the class. And he says, no additional flights have been booked for you. If you've got a problem with it, have a go at me. Try and get through the walls of the box. You can't. It's military, clay, bulletproof glass. Box people suck. Staff rule forever. I know. Pretty much. No fights have been rearranged you.

Please don't try and book them at the airport. We do not have the resources. So they're essentially saying go elsewhere. Kick you out of the whole airport. Kick you out of the airport and saying for all of you that it obviously planned to go to Sweden tonight, have a think about where else you might like to go. May I remind you, Sweden's not the only place in the world. Paris is particularly lovely this type of year. Would you like to go to Paris?

If you need accommodation, you cannot claim anything more than 200 pounds per person, dropmark walks off. So dad's going, I think, I think there's stairs at the end of the end of the bridge, which my mum can't do. I said, Dad, we're not doing this. We're going to go back to the lounge and Mum's like, we can't we've been told, you know, she's the only one way out of the box. It is quick game.

Only one way out of the box. I grabbed Mum and wheeled it down to the far end and hit an emergency exit thing. Great. And the alarm went off, the doors opened and I wheeled my mom out of there and they crashed down and had a go at me and closed the door behind Dad. Did more box people walk out with your dad? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no still had to leave, we had to get back to arrival somehow, which was hard to do because once you threw customers, they don't quite like you going back the other way.

You swimming against the stream, you don't know really how to get out. Got our bags and had to go to a book our own hotel and then get another flight. Now. Just another day. Yeah, that's awful. It's awful.

What was back doing this whole time? I think just having another round of cheese. I'm sorry. Well, they never got her in the box. No, she was never in the box. That's awful. What was back doing this whole time? I think there's having another round of cheese. But they never got her in the box. No, she was never in the box. No lounge people were having fun. Yeah, laughing. Probably had a security camera looking down at the box.

I'm betting on them. He's squeaking. He's absolutely sick. He's had a golden bear mask on. I've said this before. The guy with the lady in the chair, he's smart, he'll get out the exit. And it's been a few weeks since our request for the cheeky boys toilet map of Australia to be user generated.

And, and, and we say that's just a brand cheeky boy. Good boys, Angles. Sorry, we were being cheeky boys by developing the map, but of course we want all, whatever you identify, accessible to everyone. Yes. But it was invented by two cheeky boys. We acknowledge that public towards are helpful, but not always available.

And they're not always at the quality that you love. And sometimes you need to know where a toilet could be used, even though it's possibly only for either customers, staff, guests, or members of that office building. Still a race, I would say, between the big paper brands as to who will sponsor our website eventually, whether it be Quilton, Salvin, yeah, all the, yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, would they even sponsor this because you're talking about customers here who shun going at home, going around out on the road, playing away games.

We don't shun it, that we are mobile people who aren't, we're not purchasing, we're not bringing our own toilet paper. No, that's a whole new map, that's the private tree map of Australia. So you think it's more of an opportunity for toilet, Duckel, or one of the cleaning services? Yeah, that's true. More of an industrial agent.

But still one of the toilet paper brands who come on and go even have a little logo on public toilets that go, this public toilet uses quilting and it gets like, I don't know that, Jack. I'm not cutting a deal with each individual toilet. Someone's just buying it and chucking it in there. Well, you might have every time someone sees it in the market and then suddenly someone gives a game breaker. Right, well, let's, for example, I'm just randomly selecting one here from the map, Northbridge,

WA, the Guzmini Gomez, okay? So, for example, it's probably just the manager of that store jack that's ordering the toilet paper. I don't know if Sorbonne would know that they are stocked at the Guzmini Gomez. Yeah, but sometimes fast food restaurants do like a coaxial or a Pepsi deal. So maybe you could do the deal with your toilet paper as well. And then the whole franchise gets the same toilet paper. Okay. Yeah, that's just anyway. Yeah, that is true.

And it's we continue to pronder how that the corporate side of this will work. This is a great example of someone that's a minute one. It's already got 4.3 stars from people rating it. The Guzman Twermitts toys are very easy to access as you walk into the store, just a quick ponder of the menu is all that's required. They're more straight past towards the bathrooms. That's stuff that we need to do. Yeah, this is because sometimes it's easy to get into without being detectives. And then other times you have to walk past a counter and that creates some anxiety for people that they're going to get busted for without being detectives. And then other times, you have to walk past the counter

and that creates some anxiety for people that they're gonna get busted for using the toilet without purchasing something. This one's from Orlando, Florida, him. Yeah, that's right. The four seasons golf club. You said that is a toilet. You don't, you almost just go there for the toilet.

You said into the club and directly on your right of the bathrooms. So I think that's helpful to know that if you're going to a club, members would know where they are, so you can walk in with a sense of authority. There is no member check-in. It's what he says. So you feel free to go right in. These bathrooms are impeccable with plenty of stalls.

Treat yourself after bathroom complimentary lotion, mouth lotion, mouthwash or shave cream. I mean, again, that's a full day out. Yeah. That's one where I'd go. Do we just go there for this? Yeah. How's this handle? Sky Tower.

This is in Auckland. Auckland, New Zealand. Yeah. You're free to go about your business anywhere in the entire city and no one around here will bat an eyelid. That's, that's like you're just going in the street. Yeah, so much so I'm just actually read the description here. That's because everyone here is a huge asshole. Like, some people are registering.

So they're taking their other gripes out and abusing the map in that way. Most of them are above board. From Andy's earl and listeners. I'm going to say this, there's one in Antarctica I noticed. It is for real. It's at the McMurdo Scientific Station. And they just simply say the dining hall is the pick. No need to pay. Everyone's welcome. But it is obviously hard to get to.

Yes. But should you find yourself in Antarctica? You know, because you can actually, you could do severe damage if you try to go the toilet outside there. Oh yeah, yeah. You can get frostbite. Yeah. So in places that you don't want to be bitten on, let alone frostbitten on. A submission for one in Melbourne, him, Brunetti, classico, Carlton. Toilets are at the very back. Pretty bougie too. Waiters are always too busy to notice. I've actually been there and that's true.

They're absolutely getting, they get pummeled. They get pummeled by that's the sort of the, let's go see a movie on a Sunday afternoon and have a biscotti, you know, cappuccino. Yeah, I can. And they get hammered. There's no under. And it's also a bit horseshoe shaped.

So you can, you know, you don't always have visibility from if waiters are over the other side of the restaurant. Yeah. And also, when you're when you're a waiter too, I never, I never did any way during because you just seem like, hospitable to seem like you worked too hard for not enough money. Yes. But if you were waiting like, I imagine, just keep pummeled. You're not stopping anyone to go.

On top of this, I'll try and police the toilets. Yes, I'm going to. Yeah, that's. It'd be good for everyone to continue to load up. And, and Jesus, obviously, the man that's going to look through those that maybe aren't as helpful, like the one for more funding. Yeah, I'm going to Auckland and let's just keep it

to the helpful ones because this is going to be an extremely helpful tool. I mean, people are using it, people are enjoying it. I've got it. I suppose it's a conundrum to bring to you. You remember this whole thing started because I was explaining to you guys that there's a strip of shops near my house and out the back is the toilet that's technically owned by the butcher. It's a staff toilet and it's sort of there's a car park that fits about eight cars. Yeah. Staff cars. You're not meant to go back there as a person, okay? It's just bins, staff cars and toilets. I do go there because there's just no convenient toilets in the area.

Yes. And after I go to the cafe, things happen. Got an email from the owner. I feel like it's my responsibility to bring this up because hi guys, Josh here. I'm trying to take up too much of the precious time that you say if I conducting daily, God in 60 second as I wish. Look, long story short, Mum and I are proud owners of the butcher shop that Hamish frequents, and by extension, owners of Hamish's preferred Dunny.

Mm-hmm. Whilst we would like to state our appreciation for Hamish using not to plug publicly, our toilet on the podcast, make no mistake, we're already well aware of his post-coffee exports. Now this was unfortunately news to me. I think that's a shy. I thought I was absolutely getting away with this. And I still think to some degree, I am, like they might have just put two and two together

here and figured this out. That's got it. That is like a scene in the movie when you're like, there's cameras in the house. You know, all of them bugged. Yeah, after the, after the highs, you just look up and see the blinking red light. Yeah. Okay. So I think I mentioned to you guys there, that locking mechanism is broken.

And so it's sort of, it is a high risk maneuver. Anyway, I had never been, I'd been, no one's ever come in. Like no one's ever gone, what are you doing? I thought I was just absolutely getting away with this and I was thinking of putting myself down on the cleaning roster, which is on the back of the door because I am using it a lot. Because I'm happy to put a deal on the table

in exchange for not including our still very private toilet in your national cheeky boys toilet map of Australia. I will bestow one symbolic key to Hamish. Please keep in mind that the locking mechanism is broken and that the key is symbolic in nature. So it's almost like a key of no value. You can use to sign whatever level of symbolic security to the key that you wish. So once you have this key, you, hey, you might may use the toilets at your leisure and you'll be considered part of the team. You'll be allowed up to 10 minutes of usage at a time.

Of course, I will then have to fold you into the toilet cleaning roster, but this can be discussed to the ladies, right? So this is... So what do you feel about that? Do you get more comfort to go there or are you feeling there? You've been called... My question to you guys is, what is my obligation here? They are asking to be kept off the register.

And when in essence, I would be receiving, this is weasel behaviour. Because in essence, I will be receiving a benefit with holding this information from the public. And my head went straight to take the benefit. Yeah, well, my hijack, that's one for you. Mine was the opposite way, but what I think I would. So I'm the swing vote. My head went straight to take the benefit. Yeah, well, my hijack, that's one for you. Mine was the opposite way, but what I think I would have done was I would have gone, shhh, I don't hear about it.

I don't hear about it. So I couldn't be implicated in the decision at all. Now I do hear it, and now I have heard about it. Well, you didn't do shush, shush, you heard the whole thing. I know, but normally you would have done it. Well, my point is, normally if you're about to, you know, put a moral impasse on someone, you go to them, hey, you might not want to know about this.

But this, you know, it's called that reason. So he says, if you include the toilet on the map or you don't respond to this, it will be considered a direct defense. I will therefore be forced to alter the science op reads for employees of this butcher only. That includes you, Amish Donald White. He's threatening to name and shame me on the toilets. That's fair because you're naming them. I've never named them.

No, you will be putting them on the map. What do you think? What about this? I think I put, we see if we can them on the map. What do you think? What about this? I think I put, we see if we can put on the map, a zone. Like Airbnb, it doesn't tell you where it tells us. This butcher lies in a zone. A zone, so for any listeners that are really keen, they could try and find the toilet, but I won't be here staying specifically where it is. And for not fully betraying the butcher, they then give me three minutes a day, not ten.

So it's a, it's a, it's a, it's a smaller deal that I'm prepared to take. I'll take three minutes a day. And, but I haven't named them publicly and I've put a zone around where the butcher may be insid me. That way, how big is a zone? I mean, I zone around where the butcher may be. Incidentally. That way? Yeah, how big is a zone? I mean, I have to include three butcher.

So that doesn't take for people very long to figure it out? I mean, have definitely, though they want to use this tool check. It's not that flushed toilet, man. It's got no lights, the doors broke. What's a deal? I need to go deal. Put that to him.

I'll put it to him. Alright. I need to do it, I need to do it, put that to him. I'll put it to him.