Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2023 Ep 228

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

1. Neutron Disaster2. The note sniffer 3. Mount Everest4. A Lost Touch Confession5. Cheeky boy toilets announcement 

A least-knough production. Activate your internet. Cause the hay mission and the podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. Turn it off, Jack. Turn it off. The whole thing. Turn it off, Jack.

Turn it off. The whole thing? Turn it off, Jack. Oh no. I don't. Ooh. This is a real gear change. Don't tell me you've run out.

I don't want to, I'd like this game. I don't want to stop playing this game. I have it right out. Don't go back to saying hello in different languages. About that. Let's let your brain block us out. I'm low. I'm low. Surprise.

We built such a follow-up after those early years. It's my pleasure. It's my pleasure. Thank you to everyone that stuck to him. It's, I'd love to laugh along with that. Who doesn't laugh to laugh? That's what we come here for. Three friends having a laugh.

No. I'm not, I haven't run out. Good. Of little fun things that we could be in different worlds. Having a laugh. No, I haven't run out. Good. Of little fun things that we could be in different worlds. Different aspects of various groupings. But I'm not sure whether I can do another one ever again. What's happened?

You definitely can. Last week on the show, you guys may have seen this in the emails. Oh, no. Was this about protons, neutrons, electrons? Yes, science. There was. There was some heavy feedback on the email. Yeah, I started to show.

I started to show. I was not a joke. I was not a joke. I started to show. I started to show. I started to show. I started to show. I started to show.

I started to show. I started to show. I started to show. I started to show. I started to show. I started to show. I started to show. I started to show. Perhaps the smallest of the subatomic particles. I accidentally gave the description for an electron when I was describing a neutron. And then a little bit uncomfortable. And then when I was describing an electron,

I gave the description of a neutron. That was swapped. Yes. And we're all culpable really, because none of us even corrected. Yeah, you didn't tell me. Oh, yeah. Oh, really?

Because if you listen, I've actually saw a few of the emails that do highlight, I'm tried to say, I'm not sure about that, but I was cut off. Anyway, one for us to listen out, you're writing in yourself.

No, that came in from Jill Saunders. Yes. I've received personal text messages. Sure, from a lot of different people. Yep. And this is the kind of thing that in the 20s actually would have ended a career. Like I remember when, you know,

you look at the three on the scene Oppenheimer, ran about that time where everyone's presenting papers. You goof up like this. Yeah. You don't come back. This is an own goal in the World Cup final. Exactly. This would be a career ender in the physics world. And the hatred and, you know, please explain.

We just say the emails were positively charged and negatively charged. Certainly, negatively slanted. Right. And like, it just obviously kept building and building it in the media. Obviously had to pick it up. It's been a tough week. So there's a huge story that went mega viral online.

If you open the newspapers, a lot of the front pages. There's been a lot of angst in local newsrooms about this. It genuinely took us all by surprise. And this is really, it's become a lightning rocket. Or all disappointed when Hay Mission Andy. Hay Mission Andy. We've got it wrong. Really made a big mistake here.

Fundamentally wrong. This is a failure, Brad, a historic proportion. Plummeted to a new low. They're the Brad one. Identified as the main spreaders of false information in the country. Why was the intelligence wrong in the first place? How did they get this so wrong?

Experts have called it a massive wake-up call. We haven't taken this issue seriously enough. US President Joe Biden has threatened sanctions including aid cuts and visa restrictions. The Justice Department is investigating this liberately false stories manufactured to fool you. Like, you might have some truth through it, but like maybe a word of truth, but not the whole truth. People have a duty to research their own information. I don't know if there's a role of the government, but I feel like there could be some outside body that sort of put their stand for approval. It just makes me even more suspicious.

Moving forward, we need to be more vigilant with what we trust from the internet. That's the time when we need to rely. It's kind of boundless trusted new sources. It's an Obama trusted new sources. Australia cannot and should not back down. We are a self-respecting nation that believes in justice, transparency, and accountability. The Prime Minister has demanded an official apology. The New Zealand has registered our concern

and there's some factual and a course that would concern us. Look, I think it was deliberately provocative. It was offensive, rightly condemned by all parties and by the Australian community. I think we are united as a community and our condemnation of it. They're sickened by this. They're uncomfortable with it.

Quote, my staff is up in arms about this. This is if you don't see the harm that you do to somebody. The explanation about what happened has changed. And the communication has been troubled. They'll try and offer excuses. And we all can't wait to see what they are. And here they come. You know as well.

LAUGHTER Sometimes in viral, like, you know, we're joint presidents of the show, Ham, and we have advisors. Yep, we have a person that hands us cards as we head out to speak to the masses, and we're a rush sometimes. We can't be... Oh, this is a mock pass. This is a... This is a shirt.

Mike is in charge. I didn't expect a shirt. Yes. If this was... Turks, turks, turks, turks. If this was... I'll do a shirt. We're... or House of Cards. I didn't remember the person getting up and going, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like,

I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I'm going to be like, I won't do that, but... Generous. Mike. So you're saying Mike handed you the wrong definitions of subatomic particles that fall in the last week. I've still got a piece of paper. Science go. And it says that neutrons have a negative charge, which in fact they have no charge,

they're neutral. Hence the neutron. I don't know if we've got audio of the instance, but I definitely remember trying to speak up again that injustice. And then I go, well, he's got the paper. It's his game. I didn't do chemistry at high school. I just hung out with the legends that did. So maybe I remembered it wrong. Hey, did remind me there was something else that happened last week. When you received an email from yourself pretending to be a person called Darren.

when you received an email from yourself pretending to be a person called Darren. No, I, I spoke on behalf of, as the government liked to call them, Scott Morrison, especially the silent majority that I believe were out there. And I sent an email in accurately saying what I think a lot of people were thinking. Well, this is what you thought a lot of people were thinking. I think he was tipped off. I think you've got a rat in the rat. people were thinking. I think he was tipped off. I think you've got a rat in the rat. Yes.

OK. Sadly, I think the rat is Mike. I do. That's my thing. Yep. I hate to say it, boys. You've got a Weaselanna rat in the studio. It's a goddamn road and fest in there.

For some reason, Mike is in this deep, and it stinks to high heaven. Flush him out. Interesting, Hando. So, I thought Mike was a rat for the pizza lotto scandal. But it turns out he was a rat, demanding you the wrong info. That's two shows in a row with possible rat-like behavior.

Come on in, Mike. Come on in because he is. Is it possible, Hando? I smelled a rat, but I just smelled him in the wrong room. But I did, my, so my brain was scrambled a little bit, but I was smelling rats. Mike, look into our eyes. Tell us, cheese isn't your favorite food.

I did. I did. Are you purposely sabotaging our show? Yeah, that's a fair call question. I would never do that. Oh, that's not an answer. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. That's just someone question. I would never do that. Oh, that's not an answer. I'm not. Oh, no.

That's just someone saying I'd hate to do that. Yeah. That could still be true. Mike, I purposely sabotaged you to share, because we know you work on a lot of podcasts and perhaps on your email signature, ours wasn't even at the top. Yeah, I'm sorry. You used to have other podcasts that you work on. Our was like, I'll bother while I do a little bit with these guys.

It was just so insignificant on your email signature. Look, as someone that follows you on Instagram, enjoys the content you put out. I see you're doing very funny stuff. You've got your own podcast. It does technically make, given that we're really asking for people's attention when you do a podcast.

We're extremely grateful that people would choose to spend their time with us. You only got 24 hours in a day. So there's a limited amount of attention people can spend on podcasts. You've figured this out. You've seen us as a competitor for attention and you've slightly begun to white out the show

by doing very offensive things like handing us bad science facts. I made a mistake. That's the reality of this situation. I made a mistake. And the truth is, I failed year nine science and stopped science at school. Oh, that's one of those levels. We should put some music behind that. That's really awesome. It's a good story. It's a good story because it's made the part. This is very rich. This is rich.

I failed year nine science. I failed D&I in science. I cheated off a guy called Michael Perks and got caught and they gave me a fail for the whole year. And it's really. Yeah. Because I was all, I was notoriously bad at science. Did they really use you in the scholarship? Yeah, you were on a scholarship.

Oh, scholarship and a scholarship. No, they were unrelated. There's, yeah, they didn't remove it. But surely there would be a clause in the singing scholarship that you had to be a good character. Yeah, you might have brought all the other carless into this review. What can I say? Maybe I was just that good at singing that they just did.

No one cranks out of him like this kid. We've got to keep him. Like a star football, he's playing up on the weekends. Come on, 10 strike policy. Okay, so that's it, so Mike, when you realized, okay, I've got a good grouping here of subatomic particles, that's a fun way to start the show. Yeah. You felt nervous and you were unsure of the descriptions.

Well, can I say, Andy and I probably agree, these are the hardest parts about making these shows. Not so much. The hardest part. The hardest thing about the hand mission, I'm scared. I'm scared. I'm a toboggan.

You're a snowball. Now what are we? Now people use in the snow. Now guys, go alone. That's the hard thing.'s the hard bit of it. Now to 20 more of those. I have to get my friend to be a week. I get to the 40 EMI.

Let's be clear there. If you are doing 20 a day, let's do mornings of work for the year and you're done. I'm just saying, we record on a Tuesday, we stop the sub music, the sub music, stop. This is part of the sub music. This hasn't turned out to be the confession.

OK. Probably lost a lot of leads. No, I didn't think there's a lot of sympathy. There was... What a ray of emotions. We've just come through in the last four minutes. That's true. What turned into a loving embrace? A turn into a witch hunt? What an array of emotions. We've just called it in the last four minutes. Let's do it. What turned into a loving embrace?

A turned into a witch hunt? A rat sniff? A loving embrace? And then battle witch hunt? Yes. One thing we heard that we never hear on this show is in mid of a mistake. We should think it was just very refreshing. That was nice, wasn't it?

Like actually the buck's stopping with someone rather than it being 50 passes around the back. I can see the buck is passed around. Like someone trying to protect the 3-1 lead in the 85th minute. So can I also... Like a new jumper, I'm not sure how that feels. For the show, it was strange to hear. We might have put a warning at the front.

Like some podcasts have, you know, like warnings about sensitive content and stuff. We could say, look, you know, if you're a fan of the Hamish Enish, someone on this podcast will admit false. Yeah. And go. So if that's something you're uncomfortable hearing from this show, yeah, maybe go to another episode.

But what I'd like to suggest, Mike, is that in the past, when we've had these type of problems, we've asked for apologies in song. Jack, you've been on the receiving end of having to apologize for his song. It's the only way to apologize. It's the language of sorry on this show. You've got a half scholarship in thing. It just felt like if you're happy, could we give you a week, you come back and apologize in song for us? Yeah. And I'll apologize to your face like I made you look like an idiot. I wasn't an idiot.

A lot of people were saying, Andy looks like an idiot. And that will stick now. I will. Even though he's like one do it, there'll always be the slight stink of idiot on him. But I, yeah, I'm happy to apologize via song. Well, this is absolutely, this should be in your wheelhouse because it's just like year nine. Science has let you down and the music will bring you back. I've only really failed, but Mike, you haven't put it in.

Oh no. And that's your song. I actually think that's one of Carly's roles. And it's nice to have some buckpile-sick back. LAUGHTER Indeed. I have some buckpile stuff. That's a ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding!

Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! feel like the form there or just drop us a line about anything. Occasion though, one will come up where you look at it and you go, okay, this, how does this happen? Something's going on it, like you know. This is not, this is like almost, this is, this is, this is true X-man ability because it's the high, I think the extreme heightening of one sense, I believe.

It's named Joshua and I'll preface this by saying he has worked in banking for 16 years, it doesn't work there anymore. Okay. But it is a money-related special skill. He joins us on the line Joshua Hoi. Oh, Hoi Hoi. Oh, Hoi Joshua.

Joshua, would you like to tell Ando what your skill is? Well, Ando, I can smell the difference between a $20 note and any other note or denomination. Smell the difference. He's a sniffler. I know. He's a note smelt. When a double check, you didn't say, see the difference. Smell the difference.

Or spell the difference. 20, T-W-E-M-D-I. Hang on. Hang on. I would have assumed the difference. It's all made of the same stuff. The print ink and the plastic would be the same stench. No, so I think it's something that we're with already ink.

Have other people tried this where they can also smell the difference? No, no, it's not something that I've walked around and said, can I check your wallet? Can we work this out? This is their name. Would you like us to get? Does it have to be a excuse me, sir? Can you pull out two beats of money and let me hold them and sniff them? I'm not going to run.

Yeah, okay. Does it have to be a fresh note? No, no, it can be, so it doesn't have to be, but it needs to be like a, like, you can't do one note. It's got to be like in banking, you call, like, stack some folds. So like, ten notes or a hundred notes. It's got to be, it's got to be like in in banking equals like stack some fold. So like 10 notes or 100 notes, it's got to be it's got to be a few. And is it only I hang on so you need you need more than one to get enough of your own. Yeah, yeah, I could go do it just off one that'd be that'd be now. Now it's beginning to sound like a highest.

Yeah, sorry, man. Well, I mean, you've come to the right, show that. And you've got to always have that. Just stacks and folds. And you've got up 100 points. Well, he just, I'm cuffed the briefcase. You always have handcuffed you and just, what have you got in there? Well, can you identify other notes than 20s, or is it just the 20 that sticks out? Just the 20.

So it's 200. So it's 200. And he's 20, and it been a 20 for a long time. I mean, no, you sit back. Okay. So it's Andy's fascinated. Would you say the five? Non-greens. How? Quite. What to buy a single P or somewhere. When you're in the same... I don't know what you've got going on at Gemini. Anyway, Josh, you talked to me. So is that the same ink, potentially, for the fives, the tens, the fifties, and the hundreds,

and it's the red ink of the 20 that has a different smell, maybe. I think it's something that it says to me, it smells a little bit like matchheads. Okay. And so that's the closest thing I can think of. This is interesting. Now, I'm actually a little bit curious because it says you worked in banking for 16 years before moving on to real estate.

That's what you're saying, your email. Were you let go due to the sniffing? Or do you feel like you've been sniffed enough and it was time to move on after 16 years of sniffs. This day decided to take another part. You did? Can you say? Yes, it was decided. It was decided.

It was decided by a new to agree upon. All right, Sniffy, I think we've had enough that now. Can you tell the difference between a ray white pamphlet and a first? This is a two bed. This is a two bed one bath. It's going to be a three bed. It needs to be a stone. We'll say one.

Sorry, sorry. Sorry, bro. one. Oh, sorry, sorry. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah.

Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah.

Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah. Bro, yeah.fare. What about this? It's also funny to see a man's stiff money, isn't it? I mean, I've seen it a fair bit of being friends with him. Followed by things like that, smell that home, has a sweet, sweet smell of success. But I know what you mean. Here's the thing though.

Would you give it a go at it? Oh, what I was thinking was, if we did it next week or something, we could get you to have a sniff of some bundles. Okay. And if you can't get it, then I would be interested in seeing him get it. Yeah. If you can, I mean, have we just discovered a fun little trick? I think that's probably right.

I think so. If we got me a set of, a set of... Faxing folds. And if I, I suppose I'd smell a bunch of them and go, this is the one that smells different. Yeah. No, do we leave any in the room, another room like a dog with a, like a tracking dog

and you get the scent of the 20, then you have to find it like a dog. That's different to the skill that Josh is doing. Not really, plus Jack, if you jump on my side, you be boy. We do get to see Andy do it like a dog. No, what you do is we have five stacks of money on the bench, and we take you in another room and you get the scent of the 20s like a dog. I can't even match it.

Actually, I like it. Then Jack, you bring him in on a weed. And you have to smell that one of the bundles will be 20s, you have to sniff it like a weed. And you have to smell that there'll be one of the bundles will be 20s and you have to sniff it like a dog. And then you woof when you're at the, if you woof when you're at the 20s, because you should be able to smell the difference in the bundles. Yeah, okay. Okay, so next down, check these because my different dog challenge. Jack goes, yeah, that makes sense. I mean, it doesn't.

It doesn't really, like if Beck turns up to visit halfway through this, it won't make sense. And if it does make sense to her, that's a real worry for our home life. Oh, you guys do that as well. Oh, you're doing Mike's different dog. Cool. Yeah, he's good at that.

We'll tell Josh. I'll tell Josh. Well, tell Josh. What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?

What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?

What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? actual camping gear. And went with Budivars' Hugh to do a few nights Alpine camping, right?

This is something we've had brought for a long time. And it was just like an idea that we're like, let's go, let's do something difficult bit outside of our comfort zone. And it's just, it's basically like, we're on with a guide and you learn how like some basic mountaineering stuff like camping. And you're not putting in the snow.

Yeah, camping in the snow. So we're in the snowy mountains in New South Wales, right? Like near Jinderbine, kind of thing. So peeing in the snow. Yeah, I'm peeing in the snow. Yeah, peeing in the snow. So we're in the snowy mountains in New South Wales, right? Like near Jinderbine, kind of thing. So you're in the snow, you're out there like, no more than five to eight kilometers from a car park. But you're in the backcountry, like you go over a few mountains and it feels like you're in the snow. So you can't just like learning how to make camp in the snow

and all the difficulties that comes with it. Great fun, had a ball. And I took a photo of Huano, it was only a last as we were hiking out and you kind of like beautiful day, we're in front of some gum trees, just a nice photo, right to remember the day by. I put something on Instagram and it was the effect of, hey, great few days away with Hu in the snow. I tagged it, Summit of Man Everest, right? Thinking, because we're in front of gum trees, that's sarcasm. That's sarcasm, yes. This is where you learn, don't be subtle on Instagram. No, never be subtle. People laugh at you and they're struggling.

They're not there to understand the subtleties of your caption or your tags or whatever. So there's me in here in front of the gum trees. I go, great few days, great fun to summit Mount Everest with you. Great few days in the mountains. We were just gonna go to the snowy mountains in New South Wales and learn some mountaineering skills, but we decided to push on and do a midweek ever of summit instead, and I'm so glad we did, right?

Then I even said, beautiful to see the Summit Gums out. Very rare this time of year in Nepal to see the Summit Gumtrees. Great fun, Bob, Bob. I thought that contained enough comedy or... No, I chose. I picked up on the fact that you got that. You got that, and I think we know

because we saw him on Tuesday. So it's weird that he was, that's true, but I still think he's not even seen him on Tuesday. I don't think he's at the summit of Mount Everest, which doesn't have any trace. There are no summit guns on Everest, even summit spruces, summit pines. Anyone that's seen Docko quite barren up there in what's known as the death zone, you don't often find, there's just no forest type activity. However, this is one of the ones where when you've been doing something for a few days like your heads in it so you think it's an obvious joke. And because we're out there with this legend of a guy, this American guy

called Robert who does guide on Everest and stuff. So he's, you know, here we are in like at like 1500 meters elevation, but he's telling us about life on 8,000 meters. He's known as a lot of Everest stories and stuff, and so we, perhaps we're coming from the knowledge that when you climb that Everest, it takes about two months to climb that. It's like you're on the mountain for about two months. You climb up, you climb down, you climb the tires.

It's not a weak, it's not a weak, there's no such thing as a mid-week Everest, even if you've got direct flights straight into Catmander. It's still a, so quite a time consuming climb. So I think that's a midweek Everest, even if you've got direct flights straight into Kathmandu. It's still a quite a time consuming climb. So I think that's why I thought this would definitely sell as comedy. But of course, you're not into mountaineering and you don't care about this. You don't know. It's two months to climb.

Mate, the amount of people. So in the comments, there's a fair few, I saw the comments coming through going, wow, that's amazing. My brother did it two years ago. Like, you want to know about that forever? I'm like, I was a little bit confused to do with that oxygen-giver. And also, yeah, we're just smiling like,

no, oxygen, no shirt. It's like a beautiful day. Like, you probably could see some man-made structures like behind Robert, who took the photos. So, I texted him and I said, hey, just give him, give him, just a quick heads up. I thought I made quite a clear joke on Instagram. I said, if I think some people think we went to Mount Everest, not the snowy mountains,

it goes, that makes so much sense because some of the work with here at the Resurance Breakers just congratulates me a very heartfelt email congratulating me for some of the right. Then, during the week, I actually, I ran into Lee Sales, right? Posted Australian story, former 7th of your report. And she did the thing that, again, everybody, you've forgiven for doing anything because you just flick past and you go, right, that's what that person's up to. And you know, we're all keeping track of hundreds of people.

So she goes, Hey, did I see you're an Everest? Well done. I mean, no, sorry. I think you're falling for it as well. And she hate that because a journalist like that. I was like, you check facts. Like a whole life is very fact checky. So I was glad I was able to give her the context there. What I did realize though is like, I'll never climb Man Everest because I have no interest in Clown Man Everest. And you're definitely have to be well into risky life to do that. Huge amount of respect for the people that do,

but I have zero interest. I'm in the never-est camp. The other reason I'll never climb it is, you get absolutely no kudos for it because I spent a week. I've spent the last couple of weeks with many people thinking I've climbed Man Everest and you get a very casual well done. It is so not anywhere near what I would

be expecting for Climb close to a 5K fun run. You get for CD to surf. Yeah, yeah. Ah, well done, mate. Climb Everest, did you get a finishes medal? Are you joking? I sit down. If I climb Manoeuvres, you'll hear about it. You will be here about it for three hours. Every time I see you. And then I think of more things I didn't tell you. And I'll show you photos, and I'll make sure you know

how uncomfortable it was. Like, yeah. Why? That would be in my advice to anyone who's thinking of climbing Manoeuvres for the kudos. Careful, you don't get it. You won't get it, people don't care. Guys, we've talked about this on the show before, where there, if there's an early declaration

of losing touch, and you bring that forward to everybody, that perhaps we looked favoured me and I wondered where the reason... I think you bring that forward to everybody. Yep. That perhaps we looked favorably and I wondered whether we should... I think you remember that episode. I self declared almost everything in my life. Yes, to give me immunity. That you racked up a lot more since then. No, but I kept it general. I said, any living arrangement, any clothing arrangement, any purchase, any holiday. Well, what I wanted to do is go a bit more specific.

Okay. I've got one to declare and I wondered whether if we had more of a church type the cathedral can you know, setting and it's a confession. Are you looking for forgiveness? I'm looking for, well, you guys can choose to forgive me or not. Oh, all right. Are you saying that the church is known for looking the other way? I prefer that to your... I prefer that. Okay, so you've got to a place that has, in some pockets, a history of looking the other way? Yes, I've got something to declare.

I feel like it's going to come back to you. And so... Like we'll hear about it. You'll hear about it. I don't want to be drawn across the hot calls on this show. Is this something to do with your new house? The haunted house you're turning into a mansion? Nothing right. Nothing to do with that. Because I had someone mention something

that you've got a TV in a dog's room or something. That's a dog's room. That is not true. The dog having its own room must be very normal. One of the dog rooms, yeah. That might be true. Isn't that amazing? Wow, we.

What's in the dog's room? I think it's a TV. I think it's a TV. I think the dog might have a little golf sim. Sticks him. The dog's got Oculus and the chasing virtual sticks everywhere. We'll come back to that another time. But I've got something else I need to get off my chair. Okay. I'm happy for me to, um, Yes, step into the step into the con on clove.

I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm going to go to the next one. I'm to get off my chair. Okay. You're happy for me to... Yes, step into the... Step into the... Step into the con... Unclave. Yeah. And...

So, hey, we should all eat in the confession booth on the... Yeah, so I'm going to do the big door near. Is this your footsteps? So we all on your back. Because there's only one pair of footsteps. You're in the confession booth. We're already upstairs, are we? We're in the corner.

Let's get into it now. Ah, brother Andrew. What brings you before us? Forgive me, guys, because I've certainly lost touch with the common man in recent weeks. It has been prophesized. Yeah. Um, bit of backstory.

Yes. I flew into state to watch a football football match AFL. Must be nice and we must all chant must be nice. And full economy. 23. Have you always flown economy when going into state? Brother Andrew might I remind you you're in the church of the common man, you must tell the truth. You're not always. Let the bishops speak. Just the priest usually digs where extra dirt. I don't know, I've never been digs fetching. I've either of like, I think.

No, this isn't, I feel like. This isn't confesses, ever. This is more like a board hearing. Now, brother Andrew, has they, have you always flown economy in the state? No, it's brother Havish. Ah, I'm not sure if you have either. So let's talk about who had a pebble in the glass. But I can be people.

I think whilst my pebble might have weighed, I don't think you have the ball to throw it back. So of course, I have also been known and I repent to fly business in the state. However, brother Andrew, have you always phone commercial? I went. Brother Andrew. I must ask you have you flown commercial? Always business or economy commercial. Let me get to the end of my story. 23D on the way up.

On the way back, I took a private jet. This is not the incident in question is it? But I just thought I'd give a quick warm up confession out of you. So that's what's happened. Okay. And I just want to acknowledge it. But is this the first time you've flown private? No, I've flown, but you guys. It's true. It's hard to...

I had to know I had to say it. We did fly a couple of boys in the funcats. I'm fine with you guys. It's true, it's hard to... I had to know I needed to cut us there. We did fly up the boys in the front, man. That was a very little jet. It was very small. That was to use private jacks terminology. That was entry-level profit. LAUGHTER We, being tall, you almost had to,

even in your seat, drink your hand a little bit. I agree. Would have preferred jet star. I had. I would have preferred Jettstar. I had a list of full headroom. Yes, so on the way back from a recent game, friend of mine said, how you find back? I said, just on Quantus, he said, cancel it, come with me.

Wally. Well, that's quite a friend. So your friend has a private jet? Yeah. Jeez. LAUGHTER Jack. Jack a private jet? Yeah. Jeez. Jack. Jack says the word. Name the last friend you hung out with that was an ass and the vehicle they have to get

around. Alright, the last friend would be Vinton Radio Mike who does have his own car but... The private car. does have his own car back. Brother Andrew, why don't I remind you not to mock the common man. You're here confessing, don't mock, no mocking. But Mike has a weird arrangement with his brother where he lets him drive the car whenever he wants. So much so that for the last three and a half months,

his brother's had the car and Mike hasn't seen it. He's got two generous soon arrangement, Mark. He's got another pride. Yeah, so he's almost a public car. Talking about the bus and the tram, Mike's always like, wow, I can't. It's not really easy for me to get there on public transport, so I won't come.

Yeah, right. Because his own car is with his brother. And my friend doesn't have that problem Your friend seems to enjoy much travel is the common man part of it. I took a photo Well, I thought common man. That's just that's just a first traffic Because that's that's influencer baby. Yeah, no, I didn't post it No, I'm just saying but everyone would take photos in a private jet because that's the, I would hope so. He didn't. Yeah, but he owns the jet. I would say it's a guest of the jet.

The other thing that happened that common man is sneaking on as a fake dude. He's stupid. Did you get a refund for your quantus flight that you didn't take? Yes. No, that's a common man. Not to just let the money disappear.

And then, there's a handy word to leave. Of course you got a refund. Yeah, it's not wasteful. And then the other thing, when we got there, you're in succession how they have the car just parked like out on the runway and then he can just walk straight down the ladder and got into the car. Oh yeah.

Yeah, I didn't have that. I had to walk out and get an Uber. Gotcha, yeah, couldn't get an Uber on the tarmac. I'll allow, we will allow this brother Andrew purely based on succession. I'll allow anyone to ride on a private jet once because he can pretend you're in succession. Or in Andy's case, twice, because we have been on one before. Now, who would you say you are, Kendall? You're a Kendall. Yeah, unfortunately. Jack? You're not a Roman. No. I don't think I'm credit with Curtis Gew and I want to just look across my good mate over there

and say you've had a great idea and it's taken fire. And so obviously cheeky boy toilets have really taken the world by storm. Yeah, this is our Google map we invented for not well non-traditional public toilets. Trilets that can be accessed by the public if they know where to look and how to play the game. Yep, and we've so far had 478 locations added around the world. Wonderful. 78 locations added around the world. Wonderful. One in Antarctica, which is great. For people who find themselves down there.

Well, it's actually really, you need it because in Antarctica, I mean, this is the, well, Antarctic is a wonderful place for many reasons, but it's also a continent where something that's generally discouraged, which is pooping behind a tree, whatever, is actively discouraged in Antarctica. He must go in the toilet. It's hard for the tree. There's no trees there. But even if you found a snow mound,

huge no-no to poop and I'm just being there. I mean also just for the metaphor of trying to protect the planet. But you know, you've got to keep it pristine in it. So yeah, very important. Even on expeditions and stuff, there's like toilets up the mountain. So what people are doing is they're adding where a toilet might be a sneaky one where if you are busting, you can access it,

they clean, they're fun, and you have your about it. We can quickly give you an update on my butcher's one? Because I have one near my house out the back of a butcher. They claim to have been onto me for, they say weeks or months. I don't believe that's true, because I have never been caught in there. I had a moment the other day where I thought it was all over.

Because I never, I actually haven't been back in the breaches after we've read this correspondence because well, you just don't like go, I thought I was getting away with it and they completely, you know, they were like, well, we know who you are and we know what you're doing in our toilet. And I've talked to them, I mentioned the fact

I'm happy to clean it, happy to contribute, just cut me in, you know, bring me in as part of the team. I went in there the other morning and was doing the right thing, being very, very clean, clean up and myself, actually replaced the toilet roll, you know, trying to be a good guest, but came out of the toilet into the back alley behind the shops, who should be approaching me, but a man dressed. What could early be described as a butcher's out here. So the apron, the blood on the apron, the bean and stuff, and we lock eyes.

And I think, what are the chances? Yeah, I've been done. Someone's taking a break right now. Been done here, approaches me. Nodz walks past me. I think, hey, what's going on here? Gets in a truck. He's a delivery driver.

He's a butcher deliverer Gets in a truck. He's a delivery driver. He's a butcher deliverer. He's a meat. Literally, he was yet. He was the truck driver. But Dressers as a butcher to take the meat in. Yeah, I can't. I mean, he probably is a butcher. So you're not done.

I'm not done, but in that moment, I mean, what are the chances? If you're robbing a bank and you walk outside and there's a cop there and it turns out to be a stripper, okay, well, I do think I've thought for a second you were a real cop. And I had a moment where I thought I was gone, but to my knowledge, I'm still undetected in that toilet. I'm proud of the amount of locations on the cheeky boy toilet map, but also 82,000 visitors so far to utilize it as a tool. I like to think that that's 82,000 more comfortable toilets

don't because of that. Hey, what worries me now is like, cause it's going huge and like what happens with any kind of startup, quality control it needs to be required. And so you and I discussed maybe a little tour. I thought that might be nice. Yeah, so in maybe next week. Jack, do you want to come and have a wee with us? I love that idea. So what we go to, we just pluck some out of a hat and go and just take quality.

Yeah, and just see. Just go for a little, like a kind of like a, you know, Hollywood stars tour, homes of the stars, but more of a cheeky boy toilet urban tour. Do we divvy up the toilets or we just pick one each? I think we maybe pick one each and we take the other guys and go, this is why I like this one, this is how we get into it. This is what they're making. We should have a lot of drinks, drink a lot of coffee, drink a lot of water. And then when we get there, maybe we all need to go, maybe one needs to go.

So I might even see if it's, if it's meeting expectations based on what was promised on the website. Usually with the cheeky boy toilets, I would say 90% of them are single toilets. So as opposed to like, you know, do you get the hotel ones and stuff like that that have four or five toilets in there? But a lot of the time, it is that,

it's a poorly guarded cafe toilet or it's a back alley toilet or it's an office, you know, small business shared toilet. You can sneak in. He is the couple of people providing the code too, which I really appreciate. So, so that's, so could, but there might not be, you know, we're not all going to go in there and have sword fights. So, we, but we might, but we might not know rules.

Let's go for a tour. Love it. Love it. Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishanandie.com.