Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2023 Ep 229

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

1. A cheeky toilet excursion 2. Hamish’s face blindness trick 3. Andy the note sniffing canine 4. Croc myths 5. Mike’s apology song ...

Transcript
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Starting point is 00:00:00 A list-knife production. Activate your internet. Cause the Haymission and the Podcast starts in 3, 2, sorry, still buffering. 1. A hoi to me shuttle, Hamish. I shall bring you back from space. I gel I was decommissioned in the thousands. Not in space.
Starting point is 00:00:33 A hoi to my suspended. Jack. Okay. A shuttle suspended. We're not ways of keeping pads up. You're about to, you know you'd deep into the year. And Andy has gone for just pulling it. On the Wild Mouse.
Starting point is 00:00:57 Wow, shuffles suspended. The Wild Mouse. The Wild Mouse. Find these on the Gold Coast. A lot of them. They're rides at movie world. No, ride. Dream mode. They're types of roller coasters.
Starting point is 00:01:10 Types of roller coasters. Yes, these rides. Yeah, well, you're right. But the shuttle roller coaster coasters that do not make a complete circuit, they go up to one end. Oh, that's it. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:01:21 So you don't ride the shuttle, it's a type of shuttle. Sorry, I'd take it back. Yes. And then you come back suspended is when the carriage hangs below the rail. Yeah, good. And the wild mouse is when you have a single spinning cows traversing on a tight winding track,
Starting point is 00:01:37 the Scooby-Doo spooky coast at Water Roses, maybe we'll be the example of that. Very good. I didn't realize that there was all this speak of rollercoaster. Rollercoaster people, rollercoaster people, they are into it. Remember on the radio show we had one guy that was like, it's my, like all I care, he spends all his money on rollercoasters and he went to seven flags in America at midnight,
Starting point is 00:02:03 like because they opened, on New Year's Eve, 1999 and he was like, I wanted to be on the tallest roller coaster in the world, as it clicked over into the millennium. Yep. And we were like, what about the Y2K bug? And it was like, yeah, that's how I managed to get on. Everyone was scared to do it. But that was my dream roller coaster.
Starting point is 00:02:18 They're very into him. Because they thought in the Y2K bug, they really thought that anything electronic was gonna stop. So if you're at the top of a roller coaster, wouldn't it be be the best spot? Best roller coaster you've been, Ajak? At Lego Land, actually. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:31 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, was there a Lego drag in roller coaster? Yeah, which Lego land are we talking? Denmark. Have you been there? I've been there, yeah. What?
Starting point is 00:02:41 No, you're thinking of the flying eagle, but it was, yeah, maybe back, I went when I was 13 years old. Not very hard to change an eagle's head to a dragon's head. I thought he was a dragon at the time, but... That's a... That's a... That's a... That was your best ride. I haven't been on that many roller coasters.
Starting point is 00:02:56 I can tell, because as much as I love Lego land, there are better roller coasters in the world. Ahoi also, to Hannah from Denver, Colorado, who let us know what she's been up to. Ahoj, Hamish Andy, and fellow Weasel Jack. This is Hannah from Denver, Colorado. I have a job interview today with a company called Gusto, but I cannot get out of my head. Hamish's wife Zoe's insistence that the word is pronounced Gusto.
Starting point is 00:03:23 So I'm not so worried about the interview itself as I am worried about mispronouncing it and calling the company Gusto. Well, wish me Gusto. We do. Gusto to you. Yeah, and Gusto to you. Not a bad greeting.
Starting point is 00:03:39 I like that. I like it. I like it a lot. I like it for an early morning greeting. Good morning, Gusto to you. Damn Gusto to you. Under his eye with great Gusto. Good luck Hannah, let us know how you went. We've got to get into it because we've had a very exciting morning. Speaking of Gusto to you, we decided this morning,
Starting point is 00:04:01 after so many great submissions for our Gigi Boys toilets map, which is the map of publicly accessible toilets that aren't public toilets. We've got on our websites. We were, you know, public toilets are obvious. Yeah. Publicly accessible ones are not. And towards a thousand listed cheeky toilets on the website. This thing is a such a great resource.
Starting point is 00:04:22 We thought, before we do the show today, let's go out into the city. We're all three of us agreed. That's all made in the city. We did, didn't we? I do think that we did agree that. Yeah. Do you remember? I do remember, I remember agreeing that we'd all meet there. And then when it was decided to meet, I called Mike and he said, oh, you don't need to be there. That's not true. That's not true. Jack, you know, it was an early start. That's not true. Jack, you know, it was an early start. You do have a real job. This is just your hobby. And it was made known to us that Jack wouldn't be joining
Starting point is 00:04:51 the toilet crawl. I asked Mike, will I be needed at the different, that's different. So he might have said, well, you're not needed. You never needed really. I mean, that's slightly different. Am I mission critical? Right. I mean, that's slightly different. Am I mission critical?
Starting point is 00:05:06 Right, I do remember. I do remember. Did you emphasize needed when you asked him the question? My memory is, there we go. My memory is, I rang Mark and I said, I would love to be there, could I please come? And he said, the boys have specifically said, you're not needed.
Starting point is 00:05:23 Why am I there? Why not ring us? I mean, we're fine. I don't want to bother you guys if you're already, you know, what you really want to do. You're getting totally destroyed. You're getting destroyed anyway. Well, the three man. The three man toilet crawl are turned into a two man toilet crawl,
Starting point is 00:05:35 but that's okay, Jake, because now you can hear this independently. Yes. And it might excite you. You might get it. I'll be on the next one. Don't worry about that. Thank you, Jake. Thank you. Thank you. This is Manay. We thought the format'll be on the next one. Don't worry about that. Thank you. Yes.
Starting point is 00:05:45 This is Manay. We thought the format would be we'd pick one H from the list. And the idea was the list is so good and extensive, a quality control check. We haven't been able to get out to the nearly thousand toilets that have been listed. Let's just do a spot check, a random check to see whether they're at the right level that are being uploaded onto our cheeky boy toilet website. And if the directions are good enough to you, because a lot of the time it's like it's in this building, you gotta tell them if you gotta tell them right, we wanted to do a quality check. It probably does devolve more into just a review of bathrooms, but gosh, it was good fun.
Starting point is 00:06:23 of bathrooms, but gosh, she was good fun. So, a little cheeky boy toilet tour for us. Not the top tour that you wear a headset microphone and have a pocket speaker attached to your belt. We want to be a little bit more sub-titious, don't we? Put a mic on your belt too. Just in case. I'll tear off. Tear everything.
Starting point is 00:06:42 The glory of the dots. Hey, and this one I picked out, obviously, we're just going to go wandering around to make sure the quality of the ones being submitted are right. Where are we? Are we in Colin Street? Yeah, Colin Street. So, bit of a business district in Melbourne.
Starting point is 00:06:54 Yeah. This is the Paris-Hand. Yeah. What is that, the other end? It's very nice, the top end of town. We know business. Very much. It's the top end.
Starting point is 00:07:03 This one says, well maintained torts with fancy handwashed. We can look forward to that. That's great. Because we are around, like this is where a lot of businesses are. Yes. And if you're a big business, you put your big business in the big business district. People coming out, seeing world dresses, a lot of suits. So we may stick out in left-matter.
Starting point is 00:07:19 It says also, accessible during business hours, standard business hours. Of course, big business hours. Into the big business hours, seven business hours. Of course, big business hours. Enter the big business hours, seven to 10, that's AM to PM. Enter the building of business hours, nine to five. Big business, you get in early, you stay back late. What about my family? Shut up, you wanna make Parker or not?
Starting point is 00:07:36 That's the kind of toilets we're talking about. Exactly. Yeah, you feel like they're gonna have heft. I'm saying why they create you wait. You come back to work, cause that Singaporean deals got to hit. Yes. That's on your watch.
Starting point is 00:07:47 Big business. Big business, big toilets. Big toilets, my God for swim. Ha ha ha ha. End of the building and walk past reception with confidence, okay? Can do. You'll see the stairs on your left. Stairs on left.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Take the stairs down and turn left access towards the security. No passes required. The downstairs. Okay, great. You like it, right? Yeah. Do you need to please? It's a piss.
Starting point is 00:08:13 I'm my only dog. Don't take me to the office. I saw Mum for breakfast this morning. Yes. And I already had gone in 60 seconds. So I'm empty on that. All right. Do we use the big circular door?
Starting point is 00:08:25 Yeah, yeah. Confidence. Walking in, now. Is that guy security, no? Oh, it's enormous. Oh, yeah. What a good load deal's being done. What a guy's on phone.
Starting point is 00:08:36 Okay, reception on the left. What faster? You're still doodling. I looked, I actually looked at reception. I think you just looked at reception. Now, I'm glancing around three and still looking. at reception. Not glancing around. Three. But you do it very nicely with the stairs. That's the stairs.
Starting point is 00:08:49 So we made our way past reception. Lovely marble staircase. Tell Kevin we'll be up in two minutes. Yeah, thank you mate. It was a quick meeting downstairs. Applying some cover for us. Confident, I didn't chat. I just had a quick layback reception.
Starting point is 00:09:03 No one has looked at us. Here we go. Hang on. Oh, there's someone looking at us right at the bottom of the stairs. Thereident, I didn't check. I just had a quick layback reception, no one has looked at us. Here we go. Hang on, oh, there's someone looking at us right at the bottom of the stairs. There seems to be a cafe there. Where do we go at the bottom of the stairs? Was it a big bike? Let's let that go.
Starting point is 00:09:13 Oh, it's a work. A club, like it's a... Left or right, here we go. They said no security. There we go, this is toilet. Here we go. Wow, you can't be telling the toilet. We've got in the toilet, we've got a toilet. We've got a toilet, the power, we've detected it and we'll this toilet. Here we go. Wow. I can't believe we've got in the toilet.
Starting point is 00:09:25 We've got a toilet, a toilet, a toilet. We've got a toilet, a toilet. We've detected it, so we'll sell them off here. Okay, we're in there. We can sing you the store. Yeah, that's really nice. Now we can take a... Take a moment, that looks great.
Starting point is 00:09:36 But they said no security. We walked down the stairs. They're straight. There was a desk. There was someone looking straight at us. But I think she was just for the gym. I think we were allowed to go to the lab. It was never a thing.
Starting point is 00:09:47 That through us. So just be using this toilet. Look at that. Look at the gold finish on the tap way. That one's having a hunger, man. It's blowing their nose. OK, let's do this. OK, we're just going with Pat.
Starting point is 00:10:06 You have the three males in sighted on the topics. Why did we pat exonally? What are you guys doing? You're doing a business in this building? You tied that up. Since that penis. You pinched that penis. You do not pee in here mate.
Starting point is 00:10:21 What's he got business? I'm not opening a count. Alright. You do not pay me, mate. Was he got business? I'm not opening a account. All right. LAUGHTER LAUGHTER So, in the middle of trying to look at the hand, the hand wash is good. Oh, see the one in cinnamon. This year's bloody holiday.
Starting point is 00:10:35 It's like something off the block. A room-winning build. And it's a gold... Colve hand wash, yeah. I am great. For accessibility, but also, just if you want extra grip. When you see it, yeah. I am right. For accessibility, but also just if you want extra grip. When you see it, yeah. Yeah, that's great.
Starting point is 00:10:49 I actually do need to lean down. So I might do that because... I'm pinched. If you can, that's what it's up to. I'm pinched. I'm just... It's not funny. Really nice locking mechanism.
Starting point is 00:10:59 Really nice mechanism. Right. I need to get out. Get out. Count it. Hello. Hi. The ceilings are a little bit low, but that's the internet picking there. It's pretty beautiful flow. Maybe I should take a picture again.
Starting point is 00:11:30 I'm going to test it piece and see if there's anything on the perfect piece. Great experience. Just a wee. Pretty long. Oh, I was just enjoying the Cedar wood and cinnamon and the panso. Alright, I don't know if Steve Cool will blow out. Be cool when you run away and power great. That's unmanned. Here we go. Just like any great Heist movie.
Starting point is 00:12:04 He's still got to get out of the building. And here we go. Just like any great Heist movie, you're still gonna get out of the building. Fist up. How beautiful is it? Beautiful. I mean look at this. Yeah. This is unbelievable.
Starting point is 00:12:12 A marble staircase. A marble staircase. I didn't have anything to do. I'd come into the city for the day. Yep. Just eat tons of all brown and coffees and just be on a rotating work through there. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:12:23 That was, yeah. Had soft well done. To have a submitter that one. Yeah, that was, yeah. Had soft, well done. To have a submitter that one. Off to the next one from one. Remember to walk out confidently too. Yeah, walk out as confident as you walked in. Alright, him. The tour continues.
Starting point is 00:12:37 Wasn't Jack actually meant to? Jack did promise to me. He's really good to have Jack here. I guess he's too busy to even have a wee with us. That's been nice to have so many luxurious demands of your time. Famous Peter from Jack. Falsery obviously. A pee-peater.
Starting point is 00:12:53 Yes. Then you're going to have a wee with us. He just couldn't make it in. Um, so... Ando, here we are. He is the officers. One of the officers you assume that have more of NAB. NAB.
Starting point is 00:13:04 I don't know why but I get nervous stepping in on the big banks. Yeah, that's what they want. Yeah. That's what they want, mate. They're the big banks and they set the agenda. Yeah. And I obviously used to work for Ainsend, so I have split royalties. Yes.
Starting point is 00:13:18 I worked in the call center, okay? Uni. But I remember back in those days. I don't think N would get behind me. There was a bit of a camaraderie, a rivalry, you know, with the other banks. Well you spent a lot of time in the toilet at Ainsent because I'm not working. I'm going to be calling the end text, you're saying having a little time. Yes, I did.
Starting point is 00:13:38 I actually got caught good at sleeping in the toilet. Yeah, but if you're a shareholder of Ainsent, fear not, I've been cleaned. Cleansed, yeah. They got rid of me. Here's the directions. Walk forwards to the left of the escalators. So that tells me there's probably escalators in front of us. So we go to the left. Okay.
Starting point is 00:13:58 Then take the left before the next escalators. Okay. So there's gonna be two sets of escalators. We'll take the left of the first one and then we go, there's a door. There's a door handle. Before the next escalator, I'm not aware of this. Push the door handle, the handle doesn't move, so it's just push. It's like a secret. This is actually quite. Great 12. It's right there in the convenience spot.
Starting point is 00:14:19 Now I've read that a few times, so let me lead the way. You should say, hold on my heels. Let's go, Pete. Cheeky boys. Cheeky boys. You need the way. You say hot on my heels. Okay. Let's go and take. Okay, go. Chee-hee boys. Chee-hee boys. Here we go. Up there. Yes, go ahead.
Starting point is 00:14:30 How's your attention? Got some attention. Now, did we want to go... Was it into that? Okay. Was this playing a role-playing? Not that. Oh, yeah, very easily marked.
Starting point is 00:14:41 And quite good coverage. That's good we have the symbol. Having walked past a single other person. Walking this is a dream. Oh, over here. And we'll move. Here we go. This is just nice clean, run a mill, get your stainless steel soap dispenser stainless, stainless steel, paper dispenser. Nice room.
Starting point is 00:15:06 No, I thought so, the worst ones. Oh, the worst toilet paper year, that was. This is my least favorite toilet paper beer. It is. It's the one massive roll and you won, Rawer, and then you have to cut it yourself. No, but the scientists that figured it out made the breaking tension of the toilet paper
Starting point is 00:15:23 exactly the same force in your detergent. Yes, it's like you can't turn it, it just breaks. Yeah, it's a little bit worse in there, but that there's always frustrating me. Well, you did appear the last one, so... Do you like to do it right here? I'll watch it a week, okay? Do we stay here? No, it's up to Dora.
Starting point is 00:15:42 It takes a take, take your time. No, no, big quick, it's a week. Okay. I'll see taking it out. No, it's up to the door. Yeah, take it out. Take your, take your, take your, take your, no, no big quick, it's a wee. Okay, I'm off to you, that's all. It's a car, that's 60 seconds. Stay here. Come in, watch out. Ready?
Starting point is 00:15:54 Watch how it's done. You ready? Set the timer now. Okay, my pants are coming down, sitting down. It's out, I'm wiping. Wiping. Done. It's fraud, fraud, fraud, a legal 60 seconds.
Starting point is 00:16:21 Did it guess? Hey, you did it, you did it. You're my side or baby. Did it guess? Hey, you did it. You did it. And the fact that you put your hand up to you and the house and you're like, you're smoking your cigarette, that's not where you want your hands straight after a kiss. I answered call set of rules. You've been calling since just seconds. It's too quick.
Starting point is 00:16:41 It was 30 seconds, it was too quick. It was no guess. 12 claims of a guess. It was 10 seconds and that's it. I barely even tried for a five. LAUGHTER There you go, successful morning, him. Keep him coming in.
Starting point is 00:17:00 It's the website, cheeky boy toilets, if you want to update. But also go there if you're in the in pass. Yeah. And you're there. Now also I did lie about my Gondon 60 seconds. You know, these would be wonderful places to do a real one. Yeah, or a longer one. Seems like they were very accessible these words.
Starting point is 00:17:17 That's true actually. Gondon 60 seconds is useful for a date, but if you're killing time, yeah, do it, do it a gism,om kind of 60 minutes And oh you know and Jack you know you're boys of the know me for a very long time The face blindness issue the day face Day-to-day week-to-week try remember people's names that match their face. You think it can be tough. You say that you can remember everyone's name. You just can't remember the corresponding face to match that name.
Starting point is 00:17:52 That's the difficult bit. I think it holds in that argument. Well, it's hard to prove, isn't it? Well, it's not like I have a bad memory, but I just can't link faces and names. That's the tough part. Now, in that position you come up with tricks of the trade. You come up with a lot of tricks of the trade. Usually this means
Starting point is 00:18:11 before going into a room where I know that I'll be expected to remember 30 people's names quickly turning to Zoe and going introduce yourself introduce yourself introduce yourself. Yeah, just names don't. That's one of my favorites. And that's a last minute trick. But then there are other little ones that you come up with. And one thing I've been doing lately that has actually been working at charm is pretending like I, because the person, there's a patchy go through where the person feels disheartened. They'll be people who reason people like you to remember their name is, that makes them feel good.
Starting point is 00:18:43 Then when they go, oh, this guy doesn't remember my name, they feel disheartened. And you see that in people's faces. I'm used to that look a lot. Then I've got to drag it back from there. So that's my life, dragging the vibe back from people being disheartened. So I'm running to someone, hey, and the alarm bells are going off in my head, you know this person. Then I see the look and they get sad.
Starting point is 00:19:04 And what I've started to do a little bit is go, oh, suck. the line bills are going off in my head, you know this person. Then I see the look and they get sad. And what I've started to do a little bit is go, oh, fuck. Because then they'll go, hey, it's Michelle. And I'm like, oh, so, and I've started to hold my hand up as if they're really back with. They're really back with. Oh, I'm kidding.
Starting point is 00:19:17 I'm kidding. I'm kidding. It's good. You're not kidding off. Oh, no. He's chasing. He's chasing. He's chasing. Completely silo- chasing me. You can't stop.
Starting point is 00:19:25 Completely silhouetted. I know. Right. The reason I reckon I've got so into this is because I sat at a morning football like for my little boy's footy matches, under 9 footy, there is low sun in the sky. And I think it must have happened for real ones.
Starting point is 00:19:42 And it worked a charm because it was squinty. And he's like, sorry. Yeah. Oh, sorry. Yeah. Nick, how are you? I couldn't say I think. And I'm just starting to do it. I'm just starting to do it more and more. Yeah. Okay. And it would. It has worked. Right. And I realize actually, so this week I realized I've got two it's become too much of a habit. So when people are like, oh, it's Ash. Yeah, sorry mate. I didn't actually just had quite back with him. Quite back with him. I didn't actually see, I couldn't tell his face it was.
Starting point is 00:20:15 How are you? Of course, Ash. I did it this week with a guy called Ed and he looked behind it. And that's where it became, that's what Kevin done, because he was against a wall. Yeah. And I guess I've just nagged on the habit. I put so much gusto in. Yeah, sorry.
Starting point is 00:20:38 Like a belly-saving thing. And he looked behind it. And it sort of gets the side of a cafe, right? Like in an alley. He's like, oh, like a through-fair to other shops. And he looked behind it, right? And it sort of gets the side of a cafe, right? Like in an alley. He's like, oh, like a through-fair to other shops. And then, then, this weirdness hung in the air. And I had the choice of maybe I doubled down
Starting point is 00:20:55 and pretend that the light bouncing off the bricks is very, very bright to me. You got to be on a certain angle. You go across this way, Ed. Let's try to find the angle. You try and stare at those bricks with a fully open eyes. I dare you. And then, and I can't wait that for a second and then I just went, no, we just, that's just,
Starting point is 00:21:18 that was, haven't got that. Have we, I'll break this now, can never speak to you again. So it's a little warning for people out there. It's a good one, but do make sure you have some plausible backlighting that you can blame it on. The other great one I've used lately is, oh, sorry, it's been a minute, right? Which is, which then people will be like, yeah, it's probably been what, you know,
Starting point is 00:21:40 if it's anything over a few months, they'll, they'll jog the memory for you. That's not what I like. You're more on the reminiscing, oh, sorry, it's anything over a few months, they'll, they'll jog the memory for you. That's not what I like. You're more on the rim and it's, oh, sorry, it's been a minute. And again, not a good one at 40 because they can go. No, last one. I saw you could train. But anything that gives the little man in your head that's going through all the filing cabinets to try and find the corresponding name, any time you can give him, I think, is a good thing. And I think the bin amin' it's great. I like going, where was the last time we caught up? Now for the last time.
Starting point is 00:22:09 Sorry, and who are you? Someone with a hunting rig, a rabbit shooting rig on their euths just pulled up a hood you don't know how to do it, but I can't see anything. Ando, last week on the show, we all remember speaking to Joshua. Josh, of course. Young man who said he can smell $20 notes, because they smell different to any other note. He worked at a bank, he worked there for a long time, was unclear as to whether or not he'd left you to the sniffing.
Starting point is 00:22:39 He didn't really give us a definitive answer on that. No, he didn't. But he... He was a partial, sorry, as a mutual party. They just agreed to partways, which kind of in itself smells a little bit, no, of them saying, you know, we've told you once, we've told you 100 times, you've got to get your nose out of the bank, out of the bank vault. And he said, are if you give me one last sniff, I won't make a scene.
Starting point is 00:23:01 So they gave him that he walked. He's happy. They're happy. Customers are happy. We're happy. Everyone's happy. But he did reveal to us that rather than it just being some sort of like higher level, superhuman, um, or faculty sensation, he was like, oh, the 20s have a different smell.
Starting point is 00:23:20 Like he got to know the smell. He said it smelled like matchsticks. Yes. So we went, all right, well, if there's a trick to it, maybe it's not a special skill, it's just a fun fact. And if there is a trick to it and anyone could do it, could we get Andy into the other room, in here, to smell stacks of money. I can't remember how it escalated at the time, but when I reviewed it today saying, hey, can you bring in a dog collar and a lead because you agreed to be a dog?
Starting point is 00:23:47 I can't really remember. You did. Well, dogs are good at sniffing. Sniffy dogs. Yeah, I get the correlation. Humans are also good at sniffing. Sniffy human. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:57 Not as good as dogs. Yeah, so to get you right in the zone, as someone with a good snout, we thought probably best to have you as a dog. So you're going to be blindfolded with the dog collar on. I set it up in the zone. Yes. As someone with the goods now, we thought probably best to have you as a dog. So you're going to be blindfolded with the dog collar on. I set it up in the other end. Yeah. There were five notes.
Starting point is 00:24:10 We got you into the dog gear. Five stacks of notes. Sorry. Five, obviously there's five different types of notes. Yeah. Five stacks. We got you in the dog gear. Yeah. This was the test to see.
Starting point is 00:24:19 Is any human acting like a dog able to smell the 20s? Okay. Is there a preamble of this? We're just going to walk you along, all right? Okay. I don't want you seeing through the window where the money is on the ground. So, there are obviously five Australian denominations.
Starting point is 00:24:39 Five, ten. I'm going to walk you, I'm not going to walk you, you're going to give balls. I'm not going to walk. I'm just going to kick you with any strength. That was a log dog, I'm not gonna walk you, you're going you balls. I'm not gonna walk you. I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep,
Starting point is 00:24:48 I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep,
Starting point is 00:24:56 I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep,
Starting point is 00:25:04 I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm just gonna keep, I'm'd be a nice owner, Andy? Uh, I think I would be kinder to you. Probably. Yeah, but let's remember when you were a sniffer dog, it's not a party. You got a job to do. Okay. Okay, so you need someone that's got quite authoritarian. And I'd be worried now that your kids come along, Jack, I don't think you care about the dog as much.
Starting point is 00:25:17 You'd be outside a lot more. I never had any love for the dog that was stolen. So I've got a lot of love to give. Yes, how's that color, mustn't? That's a bit car. Yep, car. So I've got a lot of love to give. Yes. How's that colour, mustn't? That's a bit tight. Yep. Got a little bowtie on it too, which is cute. OK, so there are five different types of Australian notes.
Starting point is 00:25:34 Mm-hmm. Your challenge, according to what we learnt, was the 20... The 20 smells different. So we're looking for the 20 here. So we've got 10 of each note in pile. You've had a coffee. And a cheesecake. Yeah, it's a cookie. Get that nose working. The nose is working. Where's my coffee from? A cafe. The brain is working too. This is good. Okay, so as you agree to, you're gonna act like a dog, we'll be on the floor and you're gonna stiff a dog in there.
Starting point is 00:26:07 I'm not gonna have done it if you're on my hands and be. Of course you do. Well the money's on the ground, so you can't. My ex on the ground, dog in a dog convenient location. You're not a circus dog, we didn't, the crowd doesn't come here to watch you walk on your hind legs. It's no hoops or anything, but we will need you to be a dog. My job isn't to find the money, it's just to sniff different... To find the 20s. I know, but to sniff different types of money. And we didn't have to be a dog at all.
Starting point is 00:26:30 LAUGHTER Damn it. He's thinking about Jack. We can't even... Well, we've done too much dog prep now. LAUGHTER It seems like God knows this ever to bring in the leash. Just you know, I think there's poo bags on the... The lean as well. Yes, there is. If you need to do a poo. Just you know, I think there's poo bags on the lane as well.
Starting point is 00:26:45 Yes, there is. If you need to do a poo. If you need to do a poo. If you need to do a poo. Well, the dog doesn't tell you. That's what the dog doesn't tell you. Well, if you do need to do a poo place else now, because it will wreck the same thing.
Starting point is 00:26:54 That's what the dog doesn't tell you. It will wreck the same. OK. I don't know. I think I'll be fine. No, I don't normally do that though. You probably, it's not a bad power move to do one, because I'll have to pick it up as your own.
Starting point is 00:27:06 I jack it will probably as my trainee. Oh my God. Discuss my head. You've got the option. You do have the option here and it is. It's just cross my mind where it was fine to do one. And then I can see us in front of human resources here. Well you wouldn't have to go because you're a dog. That's the human.
Starting point is 00:27:26 You got to come on resources. All right. Now, it is one of those ones you could get caught up in the day. And then on paper, the sentence that Andy proceeded to defecate in the studio, too, doesn't look good. It doesn't look good. Yeah, no. We're legally defecating.
Starting point is 00:27:42 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, go and keep it in, go, keep it in. Here we go. All right, now we're looking for the $20 notes. They apparently smell like matchsticks. I'm going to bring you to the door. You just hold on to me for a sec. The doors over there.
Starting point is 00:27:55 Okay, so you're out the door. Hang on. Right the door. Now, I'll get you on the lead. We're going to keep the blindfold on. Obviously, you can't see it. Are you ready? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:04 Okay. Get down. Go boy. Go. Go Andy. Go. Where's the 20? Where's the 20? Go. Go. Go. Over here. Over here. Down. Down. Down. Where's the 20? Where's the 20? That's enough.
Starting point is 00:28:15 Andy's sleeping the first round of money. That's number one. Go. Go. Come on, Andy. Where's the 20? Where's the 20? Over here. Okay. Down. Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. Andy, I'm going to do this. Don't look, stiff, stiff, stiff, stiff.
Starting point is 00:28:25 Oh, that's good. Don't lie down. Don't suck in a pole. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it.
Starting point is 00:28:32 Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it.
Starting point is 00:28:40 Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look at it. Don't look 20? There he is on. He's taking sniff, midgen. Sniff, sniff. He's sniffing the fourth. It's got a directional ratio.
Starting point is 00:28:48 Fourth part. Sniff. Sniff. Good boy. Where's the money? Here we go. Last part. Andy, the dog.
Starting point is 00:28:55 Andy, the dog. You said you'd speak like a dog too. No, I didn't. Yes, you did. You said you'd say, oh, I think number one. Oh, shit. Speak like a dog. Where is it, Andy? One, two, three one. Oh shit. Speak like a dog. Where is it Andy?
Starting point is 00:29:05 One, two, three, four, five. I always felt the same to me. Where's the 20 Andy? No, no. Where's the 20? Say it like a dog. I don't know. One, two, three, four, five.
Starting point is 00:29:16 Well then say, I don't know like a dog. Oh no, no. That's not a dog. We're not a dog. We're not a dog. We're not a dog. We're not a dog. We're not a dog.
Starting point is 00:29:24 We're not. How do you know a dog say I was like, Jack? Two, three. Show him how it does. What? What? What? What? What? Doc's a remnant. How do you know what Doc's sounds like, Jack? Two shots. Show him how it does things. I'm not for you, Jack. That's not a dog. Well, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no five, onto power four. Where's his money, Andy? Ziff, ziff, ziff.
Starting point is 00:29:46 And now we go over here. He's picking him up with his human hand, which is back, it's not back, back a dog. Back, back, ziff. He's sniffing power three again. Where's his money? Here we go.
Starting point is 00:29:56 And this is how he's giving him a real good sniff. There's a sniffing power four, 20s. No. Say it like it dog. You know this I think they all look I feel so glad you're watching you have the fives You got the fives you got the fives so you couldn't smell the 20s So now I guess the question is do we get him back here the guy that said he could smell the 20s. So now I guess the question is, do we get him back here? The guy that said he could smell the 20s easily, you've proved it's not that easy. I mean, should we get him in?
Starting point is 00:30:29 Do we want to see it? Will he do it like a dog? Probably a bit much. What are the rules of getting a stranger to on the end of the day? I don't think you can just make another human act like a dog, it's a little bit demeaning. That's what I thought it was demeaning. Yeah, that is a good point. That's what I thought it was demeaning. Yeah, that's a good point. Let's get him in. Yeah, great. Come on, let's talk. Come on, let's talk.
Starting point is 00:30:57 Guys, I've got a crop update. Yeah, great. Awesome. And this is the story. This is what happened. You know how we've been speculating? Oh yeah. Like where does the feud come from? Yes. This is what happened. Can I just set the scene a bit for you here? And I actually bizarrely got a message the other day about something completely different. What it's actually to do with the
Starting point is 00:31:18 podcast I do about fathering, how dad's dad, someone wrote in beautiful story about father, a thing goes, PS, don't give up on the crock thing you're closer than you think So unrelated But just let it it's out there and it's similar. Yes, and people are thinking about it Yeah, what so that gave no content that gave no specifics But it did get me excited that we are close to finding it. Like, where does the root of the conflict come from? Hit the music, Jack. So we found out the two owners, by the way.
Starting point is 00:31:55 One guy's name's Weiz. He's spectacular. Yep, spectacular Weiz. And Tony is original. Original Tony, OK? Yes. This is where it gets interesting. Let's just, this is the backstory.
Starting point is 00:32:08 This is the origin story of original. Okay. Right. Tony was working on a different river entirely, right, with another operator out there. There was two of them. Right. And the new, the Northern Territory government said, hey, we want to re-zone this river. We don't want people coming up here.
Starting point is 00:32:28 It's not a tourist. It's going to be more national park. So we'd like to move the businesses. So that's where they were, were they doing crock jumping? They were doing crock jumping. Okay. So they discovered the phenomenon of crock jumping out to eat chickens off sticks. Yes. Steffen was the other guy.
Starting point is 00:32:45 It was Tony and Stefan. Stefan's river safari was called. He's the very first guy to do the croc tours apparently. He had a wooden boat and had a lot of problems with sinking. So that was a terrible thing to do. He was just sinking, sinking, stepping. Added some adrenaline apparently to the croc. That is.
Starting point is 00:33:04 That's spectacular for a whole different reason. So Tony and Stefan both move to the current sighted Adelaide River. OK. Tony wanted it all. What? This is original Tony. This is original Tony. Tony, is this why he called it original?
Starting point is 00:33:19 Tony just went across the Stefan and said, Hey, I just want the whole thing. I don't want you here as well. Wow. What will it take? And Stefan said, no. I love Croc Trump in. Stubborn Stefan. And then Tony said, everyone has a price. And Stefan said, make a million dollars.
Starting point is 00:33:40 It's in the 70s. Tony went and got a million dollars. No way. With finances, came back and said, here's your meal now. B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B-B- No, I mean, he just bought it. He's a spacey man. It's so Stefan could not right there. Well, he just said, yep. And so did he get the stinky wooden boat as well? Well, I watched all the particulars. He's a deal sweet. But that meant Tony had the only crock jumping spot. And that's why it wasn't called original. It was just the only one. And it was on the Adelaide River.
Starting point is 00:34:20 So yeah, it would have been called something else, just like crock jumping. Then came spectacular and started one up a bit further up the river. It wasn't stiff in there, nose and mustache. It wasn't. Tony's spent a million dollars already trying to buy out the whole thing. He can't offer the same deal to these new mob spectacular and hence the bad blood. He's that annoyed that he bought someone else out and then another guy came in and started their own. That's where it comes from. Now, did spectacular know about this? Great question.
Starting point is 00:34:59 Because they could have just seen a river with an idea and a business that's doing well and gone, look, there could be room for two boats on there. Well, they obviously saw an idea of doing real easy to get into the room. They might have. But that is where the beef or the dangling chicken comes for when it comes to Tony versus spectacular. So we don't quite know. So in that interim period, after he's paid the million,
Starting point is 00:35:26 you've got Tony operating out there and it's probably just called crock jumping tours. Because he would have no reason to call it the original. Then spectacular have come along and gone. This does contradict an earlier version when we heard spectacular were first. But spectacular comes along and they go, we're doing it too,
Starting point is 00:35:45 calling themselves spectacular. And then that probably forced the original to rename. So the name original was second and spectacular predates the name original, but as the operator Tony was there the whole time. Would that make sense? I think that makes sense. I think that's why maybe we've got this idea that original was named second. Yes.
Starting point is 00:36:07 Yeah. It would have been named second because you don't change. And you're clarifying. You're clarifying. Yes. So Tony's harder to get onto. I just want to put that to you guys. I mean, we still plan, are we still planning on going up?
Starting point is 00:36:21 I think this gives us even more reason because now I've never felt so far away from the issue. I would like to get Blunston's on the ground up there. Yeah, all right. Well, keep them coming in guys. Let's see if you can find someone else to verify that naming thing that you had, that naming the qualifying,
Starting point is 00:36:45 because it must have been some kind of issue there for the... I mean, a million bucks does buy you five decades of gripe. Yep. It's, that's still 20 grand a year of displeasure. It's been 50 years. So the spec, I want to know a bit more about the spec tax alongside, I guess. Like, are they there going, I hate mate, we like,
Starting point is 00:37:09 we don't know. Yeah, how are we doing? I think that's the thing. I think spectacular. It is a different crime than if Stefan had just come back and gone, I spent it. So I've been made, I lost the meal. I'm back just doing what I did before. But for what I can gather here, it's not Steph. He just took off, yeah. Okay. This is good, Andy. This is right for a piece deal. Hey, we had to get to this obviously it's been a week and we gave Mike a week to apologise in song
Starting point is 00:37:46 for the injustice he bestowed on me. And Boatley. And I'm going to show you the wrong definitions of subatomic particles during the intro of the show where you said the wrong definitions of neutrons, protons and electrons. Yes. And the mocking that came through on the emails from those in the science community was hotter than the science. So it's not.
Starting point is 00:38:11 Yeah. The hotter than the sun's surface, ran about 5,000 degrees Kelvin. Yes. I'm, Mike, how do you feel you went with the song? Is it from the heart? Yeah, it's from the heart. And I felt like I had a lot to say in the song and I, you know,
Starting point is 00:38:27 I'm definitely sorry but I think there's a few things I wanted to clear up in the song five. You were so kind of trying to last but you were so kind of in the heart and you want to, what's your walk away and we're in hang on this done fear? No, no, but I did want to point out, made if this is a song about how hard you work. Trying to think of three things that are loosely linked. No, but tell me was Runde under there.
Starting point is 00:38:53 What have I got in a song? How are you like to have a bit Runde? I did notice, I did notice. Come on, let me days a week do you like put in a time sheet for the show? Like what are you? For this show specifically. Yeah, like what do you, what are you,
Starting point is 00:39:05 what are you, every hour, are you claiming? I don't think we need to get into my pain, my hours and everything like that. I don't think that's relevant to put on this podcast. What if you're claiming that you're overworked? I think it's extremely relevant. I'm not saying I'm overworked.
Starting point is 00:39:20 I'm saying it's very hard to come up with those things. Anyway, anyway. Now, I'm not, I'm not. By the way, actually, what I arrived at the station today, the receptionist, I arrived at quarter past nine. I said the receptionist, oh, how are you? She goes, just trying to get through the day.
Starting point is 00:39:35 What is going on in this building, guys? I said it's quarter past nine. So far, so good. So, Mike, I'm not sure what's happening here if you're doing most of your work from here. Maybe there's something there. Why don't we put Mike on reception for the day? See, which is harder. All right, Mark.
Starting point is 00:39:56 Well, that wasn't what the angle we'd hoped for, but is there anything else we need to know before we hear the apology? You know, I log on to the emails where I'm working very hard. I notice all these emails. I instantly email you an apology by the way. You know, I log on to the emails where I'm working very hard. I notice all these emails. I instantly email you an apology, by the way. That hasn't been referenced. That's true. Mike actually came straight to me and was very upset with himself.
Starting point is 00:40:14 And I said, he's probably taking a little hint. LAUGHTER OK, exactly before he emailed you, he rang me in distress. I said, what? She said, I've made a mistake. I've given Andy the wrong information, should I come clean? What should I do? All right, that's, I'll do my car lead. You're doing such a good job of nearly doing the
Starting point is 00:40:35 right thing, like just that full mere culprits going, I've made a mistake. But then following it up with, should I come clean? It does show a high level of self protection is going on in there. But we understand, you talked about last week. What do you say Jack said to you? Uh, I think Jack, Jack, can I say what you say? I can't remember. Jack actually said, oh, who cares? It's just annoying nerds getting angry. We might need an apology song from Jackson J. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:05 A day they're listeners of the show. We know as you talked about, this is a really sensitive topic for you. You failed science in year nine and you bought up a lot of demons. So you're overworked, you're highly paid and you run down. You've got demons but you manage to squeeze out a song, which we appreciate and he is my apology. Because I feel like a monster because everyone knows what a neutron is, but to Andy, I didn't deliver and now I'm asking, could you please call it, give it the fake news. I provided like a long Twitter. Go to shock when I logged on. I'm seeing emails saying proton neutron electrons started electron, started making me think what the heck, John. I made Andy look like a freaking moron. You wait us along for Mike to weigh in. Go to the list and his exasperated. To hear a song where I take a deployment, finally put an answer while the Andy hates. Hey, hey, miss,
Starting point is 00:41:58 you concentrating? Don't beat her out while I'm in orated. A classic story of my educated. Where science was a subject I was definitely failing. So here's my apology about subatomic I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here to read it, I'm here So disis my apology I said yes that was a job for me I take all responsibility and please take this as my decree No more mistakes because I'm sorry I'll be honest Now I'm feeling rebellious I'm embarrassed I promise but let me just spell this Are the mistakes so please let me tell this Before we start a hunt where everybody yells Just recently in the pit to load a prank call Hamish decided that he wasn't gonna play ball
Starting point is 00:42:44 Despite the fact that we nailed it in reversal And then it came to it and Hamish nearly spoiled it all And Jack is not safe from me making eras every week in his hobby And Dossie's like na na na na na na na na na na na na na na Katie's eras after stop him ever looking dumb up And right now, well, it just seems everybody wants to point the finger at me But I think they should point it at we as in this podcast we make each drink. And I think you'll all agree there's just one man within this team who's record is completely clean and that man's name is Andy Lee.
Starting point is 00:43:14 I'm not going to want to be made to do another song. I'll just end with a very accurate, very, I love you. He did. We all make mistakes. Wow, Mike, really well done. Thank you. Thank you. We're going to the hand job at the end.
Starting point is 00:43:41 Thank you. Thanks for listening. The Hamish Namdeep podcast will return to you. Thank you. Thank you. hands over the end. Thanks for listening. The Hamish Nandy podcast will return next week. Catch up or contribute at hamishnandy.com.

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