Hamish & Andy - Hamish & Andy 2023 Ep 232

Episode Date: October 4, 2023

1. Hamish thinks he could be a doctor 2. Platform perfection - special skill 3. Power moves 4. Special Weasels Unit - Trestle tables 

A least-knough production. Activate your internet. Cause the Hamish and the Podcast starts in three, two. Sorry, still buffering. One. A hoi-timi-seris. Hamish. I think I've got an engling.

I think we're in the sky. No, but I'll take this seriously and allow... ...and Jack you to have yours. Ahoy to my cumulus, Jack. Yes, we are in the sky. Here we go, baby. Yes. I'll be a Nimbus stratus.

Of course, the rarest and most beautiful of all the clouds. And I will be an Amazon web services. Also a very popular cloud. There you go. What a way we give us a brief description of what each cloud is. Typically a peer delicate and wispy with white strands is what a serious one is. A form when warm, dry air rises ham that's you cumulus low level clouds that are often pre-cursed to other types of clouds.

So you only merge into something else, Jacko. And a little to no precipitation. James, you've done it. No, more of an adolescent cloud. It hasn't, hasn't finished forming it. And Nibbo Strait has a multi-level, often dark gray cloud usually produces continuous rain. So yeah, probably the worst type of cloud you'd say.

You are the cloud. You've picked the cloud for yourself that would rain on someone's parade. Yeah, sorry about that, to me. Oh. But that's just the way the cookie crumbled today. Does Mike need another apology song for giving you the wrong cloud?

No, we'll let Mike get away with this one. But, hey, it also ai to Brad from Adelaide who use the very easy view system at hamishdown.com. Poor, Brad. Good 18, it's Brad from Adelaide. I do apologize in advance if you have already covered this because I haven't as suggested on the podcast listened from episode one. And I also realize that you may have hit the chocolate content quote already for the

year. But I'd like to draw your attention to the packaging on Cadbury chocolate blocks, in particular the classic line glass and a half, I'm possibly dropping the bombshell, I'll let you turn the phrase, that this is now false. On the back of the pack, it says,

the equivalent of a glass and a half of full-cream milk and every 200 gram block of Cadbury dairy milk chocolate. But flip the package over and the block is 180 grams. So we're not getting our glass in a half anymore. We're actually getting 1.35 glasses. Doesn't have the same ring to it, but looking 40 of thoughts, cheers boys.

Oh, you're right. I do remember something being a first or a well-researched bread, but very, very unusually high level of detail for this show unless it involves chocolate, but world research brand? But very, very unusually high level of detail for this show. Unless it involves chocolate, but we do like to go very, very deep. I do remember they...

I'd have to do some research on this, which seems like going... I don't know, it was just a very busy day looking ahead. But... I didn't know drop it. I remember, Khaba, coming out and saying, you were slightly changing that. We are...

Because they did drop The amount that they haven't dropped the food. It's the classic thing from chocolate bars I think you've discussed it before him you don't drop the price You drop you drop the amount of chocolate volume of chocolate. You just slightly make you make it smaller and So you hope people won't notice so they've gone down that path and changed it from 200 grams to 180 They can't have they can gone down that path and changed it from 200 grams to 180, they can't have a glass and a half, you know. What they do, they're actually saying a ratio. They're going glass and a half per 200 grams.

It would be nice for you to have 200 grams, but you poor fool, you're only holding 180. Yes. If you want 200, you got about two blocks of these and throw most of the second block away. Oh, that's true. I'll keep it. Which is not as snazzy a catchphrase, but yeah, no good detecting.

Yeah, good detecting. I mean, please. This is a show for it. If there's one industry that's just absolutely having a field day with our emotions and thinking we're not going to look deeper, it's the chocolate industry. And we will always look deeper. Yeah. We are, I think we're probably the most in-depth chocolate podcast on the market.

Well, let's just say it, because most podcasts keep out and make wild claims about how they're the most of the things. Yeah, yeah, that's fun. Number one chocolate podcast, Jackie, have you had that? Yeah, every day I get close as well to doing the door stop of the Mars-y That's true. ...for more information on Mars products. That's a lot of work. Every day.

In the future, if it happens, you are closer and closer. So another exciting step taken today. Do I have a tea, Andy? In one of the all-time great marketing spins, there's many, many years ago, two dozen Tana something. I was in an indie filming New Zealand, right, called Too Little Boys.

I'd like to be in the film by the way. Great fun. I watched it again. It is a, hey, me did a really good job. I know it's great at the time, but go check it out. It's not that little, I think it's a great, it's one of the, a straight, New Zealand's, did very well in New Zealand. Well, it was, yeah, it was like a popular indie film in New Zealand.

Although, I mean, it wasn't like a box office smash, however, that's where the marketing came in, because there's a chain of pizzas in New Zealand called Hell Pizza and they did a two little boys pizza. Like a promotional tie-in. Right. A collab. Yeah, a promotional tie-in with the release of the film. That was their highest cell as their most popular ever pizza.

And so for a while, some of the marketing material, two little boys was referred to as the number one movie based pizza. And so for a while some of the marketing material, Zoologous was referred to as the number one movie based pizza. This is what he put. Based pizza very small. Yeah, that's exactly the one. Number one New Zealand's number one movie, small font based pizza. Best. It's just nice to be a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a...

It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a...

It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a...

It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... It's a... to, we can pause the show for 30 seconds. What I want to do here is I'm about to ask you a question. I will stop the record for 30 seconds. They will come back here and after you've had your thinking time. It might even need like 15 or 20 seconds. Okay. Right.

Here is my question. We're all, I think we all can agree. We're very lucky to be in the jobs we're in. Oh yeah, Jack. Okay. You're a specially Jack yeah, Jack. Okay. You were especially Jack. Yeah. Right? Okay.

Well, I mean, I'll put my stuff on my hand a bit. No, I'm not very lucky. Very lucky. Yeah. Here's my question and we can pause the podcast, come back in 20 seconds with your answer. I want you guys to tell me, what do you think the highest paying job you could apply for outside of the entertainment industry is

with your current skills. Marks are off. Good luck. You've got 15 to 20 seconds. All right, we're back. We've got to qualify something. We can't use any of the notoriety or profile we have now, can we? Like you're saying that. Are you thinking of the old footy player real estate

agents? Yes, every previous football champion is now a real estate agent somewhere because it does. Yeah, trust it too. But it gives people a bit of an excitement to go. Hey, a brown low metal winner of yesterday, you just showed me through it too better. Yes, so is that no, no, this is just based off our skills of God. Okay, can I, like, would you like me to slightly change it? Well, can it be like the job you're buying for what you could make the most money from? No, it's like, what do you think the best job

you could do is with your current skills? All right, I'll change it slightly, that you could turn up and competently put in one day of work out. Okay. Like you could pass for one day and get through it to a competent level. I feel like I'd feel pretty cover the top

of a pyramid scheme. Oh yeah, that's the best place to be with one of those. But you know, like, selling walks into the top of a pyramid. I know, but they weren't. That's true, Jack. In fact, if you're walking in, you just never get to the top, but you mean like a Ponzi scheme? Yeah, yeah. I suppose like, kind of. That's your pick. I was like the top, the top paying. Like everything else for my skills, I wouldn't, I would not be able to have the upside. So, you could trick people off, trick people into investing.

Wouldn't feel good about it, but I think that, that'd be, answering the question. It's true. Actually, if you came to me and said, you have a great investment opportunity, I would, I would believe you. Yeah. Yeah, if you came to me and said you have a great investment opportunity, I would believe you.

Yeah. Yeah, that would be the smile there for Andy. It was so. Hello, we're already telling. No, because he had a lot of flicker roots. I'm mental. No, I should actually get that. I should do that.

I should circle around to Jack. If he finds those big coins, I will actually revisit this idea. Yes, I think Jack's way. Okay. Okay. Well, maybe mine was slightly different because I'll go next, Jack. I say this with the greatest respect to this profession. I don't want this to be confused with me saying you don't need to train to be this profession

or that I don't have respect and appreciation for them because I use them. But I honestly think I could get through one day of being a GP. No. I mean, I get through a day. I can get through a day because I think I have enough general medical knowledge because I do a lot of Googling medical issues and I've got now 20 years experience of going to the GP for what they would see most things. Yeah, but okay, colds and stuff short.

That's what they're going to get to do. Yeah, that's what I was talking about. What's the serious medical issue? What is it? What are the symptoms? Not like they can't breathe properly. God, go to emergency. That's not where you go to the GP4. I'm sending them straight to emergency.

I suppose you can. I've got it. Can you just referring or... I think, again, I'm not... We're not shooting on GPZ because they're very good and you do need to go to medical school. I'm just saying... It's like, they're all just sandy marks, isn't it?

What was the last thing you went to the GP4, Jack, that wasn't treated by the holistic dentist? No, my holistic dentist did just do dental. Okay. The last thing I went to the GP4, Jesus, been a while. Really? Yeah. They're free.

I'm surprising not there all the time. No, no, no. I go to the party, you have to pay, and you only get so much back from any care. Oh, okay. So I kind of give him a wide first. Oh, and you know what I had to the guy you have to pay and you only get so much back from any care. So I kind of give him a wide birth. Oh, and you know what I had to do? I had to get a referral from the GP to go to the sleep study. So I said I could do that.

I wasn't. I'm not sleeping well at night and I pretty much said and I want to go and see the sleep study specialist. No dramas, mate. Can I see this guy? Yeah, that's a very nice one. Mine was a referral because I'd like to get my skin checked for skin cancers. Yep, absolutely. Make me come back to me and I'll do it every six months. Here's a good clinic. Make sure you like to get my skin checked for skin cancers. Yeah, absolutely. You can't make me enough to it every six months.

Here's a good clinic. Make sure you go to a registered clinic. Registered skin cancer clinic and or if you go to a dermatologist, go to this website because you want to make sure that someone's been trained properly to spot skin cancers. And you're just Googling those doctors? And you're allowed to Google as well. I've been to GPs where they're allowed to Google. There's no rule that says you're not allowed to Google.

They Google all the time. Very good points. Like when my dad used to be the information technology teacher at the local community center, I tell you that. No. And so people would come in and say, hey, I've got a problem with my mobile phone, and he'll go, oh yes, and they said,

you know, it's an Apple did it. And he goes, yeah, yeah, I've got some notes on that. And he'd just type in. He's the problem. Because you're dad, I don't imagine he's a Apple did it and he goes, yeah, yeah, I've got some notes on that and he just typed in. He's the problem. Because you're dad, I don't imagine he's a IT. Not at all. Terrible. He just likes giving.

So I suggested he could do it a bit better places. But one guy came in, I swear I told you this, one guy came in, normally the elderly or people's English is second language, his dad is helping. One guy came in and said, I've been told there's porn inside the computer. This is 80 year old Greek guy. He said, he was holding his laptop. He said, I think it's in here.

It's in here. It's in here. He told it's in here. And dad said, well, I don't think that's appropriate to come with a community center to ask for that. But it is 90% of the internet. Google, you can type in anything. You could type in.

And if it tells you, I can tell you that. I just told you about this friend of mine who knows everything. If you type in, you know, what's the biggest frog in the world? It'll tell you what the biggest frog in the world. And the guy said, yes, but I want the porn. And I got picked up on the clues. Yes, the dead. I want the biggest something else.

Does it, is it only for frogs or would it work for the size of anything? No, you can certainly find the size of many, any and many things. I think I've got a point. What about vaccinations? Yeah, get them for sure. No, no, they come to you because you can go to the GP and say, go to the nurse, down the hall. Yeah, I don't do them.

The nurse does them. Psych, I mean, even if I have yet to bring Gordy to a doctor, that's probably the only area for baby having an issue. You feel the opposite? That's the only thing I'm not saying, you know, adult lives are not important to you, but if a baby had an issue, that's maybe where I'd lean across and go listen, I'll be honest with you, I'm just, I'm doing this as a test. This is what I'm doing.

I'm doing this as a bet just to see if I can make it through the day. So I'll tell you what I think, but do go and see a period. We never got jacks. Yeah, what's yours, Jack? I thought I could walk onto a building site as a competent fourth-year apprentice. Oh, yeah. Okay. So you still have someone telling you what to do? Yes, so you know enough of the terms.

You're not responsible, but now that I see you how much you're going for, I'm just going to black my way through it. I'll say builder. No, Jack. You can't even finish your own house. Build your house. What are you talking about? It's not me any question. Okay. We want to put working with a builder at the moment.

Give him your most recent question for your house. Okay. And we want to put a tunnel in underneath. Oh, my gosh, beep! We were, I thought you were going to say, Jack, you must be nice. Thank you very much. Remember, there's 15% on that for you, Jack. Oh!

Okay, I've seen you've dollar signs everywhere. I've been to Sydney. Jack, there's a proposed tunnel, just a small one. There's, there goes, and then one, that goes underneath the Heritage House. So we have to work out what to do with the Heritage House. Yeah, definitely ring dial before you dig to make sure you're not digging into any wire. Andy's not doing it, he's not putting the tunnel in.

You're the one building a house with the tunnels digging their own tunnel. I would confidently say that 99% of Australian builders haven't had to build a tunnel under a heritage house. That's fair. That's fair. That's fair. That's fair.

Someone is standing and these are going to take quite a lot of bullying too. So, you're going to say, I'll call Darfur for you dig. Is that the first thing you're saying? No, I'll say it's like, yes, we can make that happen. Leave that with us. Yeah, I was planning again, Jack. He's planning on leaving with the builder. He's not asking to dig, he's not in trouble.

I'm saying we can make you go about it. I hear it's quite hard. Yeah, what machine do you use? Yeah, we'll use a boring machine. But what is so boring? That was a big deal. That was a big deal, one. We'll use the drills to take up the four boards.

We'll stack them to one side of the room so that we can put them back. We'll get the boring machine going. It's a deep, unbelievable. This is pretty step by step. We'll get it going and if it doesn't start the first time, I'll have to give it a real good rip, we'll get it going again. Yeah. We'll move it.

Get the tunnel going and why are you removing the floorboards? Did you want it to start in the house? No. Okay. I thought it was like a secret tunnel under a rug topic. Okay, no. What is the time? It's not.

It doesn't matter. God, I'd love this. I'd love you to be a jack. I've been told under, how do you do underpinning? No, well, the house should have plenty of underpinning, but if it needs, if it's a phone, if it falls over, if it has, it's more. We should be able to provide that with, right? No problem.

It should be there, but if it needs, if more needs to be there, we can make more be there. Yep. Feel the best of it. Hey, this is the show you come to. If you've got a special skill that's not being properly recognized by the greater community, come to us. We'll test it. So you can't just claim it and then get the accolades. We'll test it. And then once you've been tested and you've been successful, we'll then say, yes, you deserve the accolades. We'll give you a coin, generally an H&A coin.

That is what people are playing for. That is what a young man called Jack came to the show with. He's special skilly claim was being able to tell exactly where the door of a train is going to pull up on the platform. We had a lot of conditions about this because you hear that skill, you know, okay, there's a couple of ways he could fake this. We decided to meet him at Southern Cross train station. It was a real station of our choosing. That's not one he goes to. We had a few other

conditions, so don't worry, we were on to this. We met at with him this morning. This is Hell went. We're here with Jack. Hello. How you doing, Jack? Well, it's well. Yeah, it's not a conversation. Big station. Very big. But this has been like your grandfather, and it's not a conversation. Not much of a bigger stage for someone living in Melbourne who prides themselves on train door positional guessing it's it's like a grandfinal of us from interstate so I'm Brisbane coming down to play column of the G yeah it's not my home station I'm a parliament guy croit in the station yeah you do understand the gravity of the ground and what it means to be.

I do understand it to train stations. Have you been to the station before? Like three times for what you said and get smashed up my whole soul. All right, so you don't, you don't, you don't. Not for no reason. We have people obviously nitpicking you. A lot, picking hits on our special skills

and how we conduct them. This is great news for those that there were people already writing in to say, hey, make sure make sure you don't pick a home stage. You can't take into examination because you know, for people that commute every day, you would get a feel. You'd be like, oh, if I stand like five steps left in the vending machine, I'm always hitting a door there. Yeah, better. For you, this is feel. It is feel here. Yeah, you get a lot of time at Parliament down those big escalators to suck out where you're going gonna go but here no idea. Oh, we are able to position you in the middle of the platform Ish like I say middle of the tracks. I was like no

We've been trying to make a more exciting. Oh, yeah, yeah middle of the platform You want and I walk down and choose something my point is I think you kind of know where trains going to stop Like don't they go to the very end and they've got a little... There's a line for you. Yeah, so the end is too easy. Yes, I'm happy to be in the middle. Okay, good. Yeah, good, I think.

Tell us what you know about trains. I mean, do you want to give away any of your... Trade secrets? No. No. But do you know the distance between doors? I don't even know. Like, they confuse me how they work, honestly. Right, yeah, I don't really understand.

Like, Trissety on the road. David, what's the thing at the top? What's that? That's what Trissety. Oh, is it? Is that what makes a move? Yeah. I don't know if you're playing Dr. Gauley here.

It's a learning podcast. It's not what makes a move. Well, no, it's not. Then it goes through the thing that does make it move. The engine's put you guys a train pod now. I know. No, no. We got a risk of starting the third most boring thing

we've got with fish. This is just someone that's, you know, read enough books at a five-year-old level. OK, OK. To explain to kids. Jack, I walked this station three days ago. Yeah. To the old bitch inspection.

And K-Test, there was... Can't get the K in the platform. Hard as now, Grayson. There was nothing I could see mid-platform that would indicate we're a dollar star. So you did the old, like in a movie, where you're trying to get inside the criminals mind. Yeah, how is he doing?

How is he doing it? So is there a technique? You don't have to tell us what it is. No, it's touching feel. One thing I'll say is you do have to stand behind the yellow line, obviously. I've actually, don't get arrested. Yeah, fair enough.

Have you, if you've obviously been with mates? Have you called this out to them to go fell a stand with me and we'll get the door? Look, it's a multifaceted sky. I don't like to do it around friends. I like to just do it by myself, just a, okay, get the general public. So it's like a time saving, is the first part?

Yeah. And then just a warehouse pack up. Both things have filled up. Did you find them a baby one time? Swear it, winked at me. Yeah, you've got a baby wink. Yeah, because kids would know, that you probably get to the train all the time, and go, like, hey, not being at the door every day.

Mum, what are you doing? Because for the people that move to the line early, and there are early moveers when the train's going to the platform, everyone's making their claim. When you move to the line and you stand, you're sort of going, this is it, unwritten, like unconsciously you're going, I believe, I know where the door is. I want to be first on, that's what people are.

And when the door lands in front of you, and some idiot fall steps to your left, there's completely goofed it, and they're between doors. That must feel amazing, that's really great. Just to look on their face, and as they look at you, as you just walk straight on, choose your selection of choice of what seat you want. And then you know, seconds later, they can't busle through the door, nothing left. The amount of seconds I'm saving per year is definitely in the high teens. Wow, it's just really nice.

It's one pitch, one swing, one hit. That's it. Yeah. You don't have multiple trains, but you don't have time. But you can pick a platform. I want to give you the margin of error that you are within one normal step of the door. Is it the door? The door is going to be right in front of you, or if it is within one... No, no, no, no.

I'm not giving him that. I'm not giving him netball rules. He's giving him netball rules. The door is... The door is three people wide. It's new for me, but yeah. He's got... You got a larger fella. Poor shoulders.

I would say he has to be with him. Okay, so he has to rest and walk forwards. Board forwards and hit a door. And yeah, well that door will open. Yeah, well you have to walk forwards into the train. Or I think we'd all like to see for comedic effect if it's safe to do so you walk forwards into the window. Okay, okay. If it's not there. If I could have you miss a barbell.

I have to hit the train. Your punishment is you have to walk forward into the train and bounce off and then not forward. That's fair. And then hop off really quickly because I just remember you've got our microphone. Yeah. And if you do get on it, you're celebrating where it's outside. Yeah. Which is never seen here again. We lose the mark.

Yeah. You know it. it's a coin. Alright, cool luck. Thank you very much. I'm Jack, I can't wait to see this. Welcome to Metro. We're into the train station. Hamish has jumped. Hamish has jumped.

You've got a Hamish. Hamish has jumped the rail. I was nervous that we were filming in a train station. Little lone Hamish fear of aiding. Well, I mean, that's on you, Mikey. You gave me a dad Mikey. We've got a five minute wait to fling the street on platform 10. Guys, come on. Is it the film over? It's the Glen Wavery Island. It's his old train ride. It's got a tool for

Blakey. Four minutes. Okay, let's get down there. Platform 10. Platform 10. All right. I'm going to say once we're past the vending machines, we're walking down the platform now. We know. You're allowed to pick that with cabinets as middle. Actually three minutes, okay.

This is on. We're on. We're out. We're out. We're out. We're out. We're out. Okay, let's get you to the front.

We've done it with like a crowd looking either. So, it's a bit nervous. Let's get bigger than this. Okay, let's get past the Venni machine. Let's get you on the yellow line. We are now, what we say, the middle third of the platform. Jack, it's over to you. Where's your pit? You have the red zone up to the yellow line. You go and stand in the red zone and then have a look up and down platform. Bearing in mind, train leaves in two minutes, so it's going to arrive within one. Jack, what are you thinking? Well, I'm seeing the mind the gaps, but I've never been here before so I don't I have been here, but I don't remember All right, does it touch a field job anyway? We're gonna go Right thinking about it. He's really thinking about it. He's gone to stand

Near-remind the gap now just to paint the picture for everyone at home. I've chosen Everybody's me here. No one's here. Other people have made their call They've gone off their gun up and down the track. You know what I'm worried for him. Yeah No, I'm doing it. Can I change or my lock? Yeah, I'm changing. Yeah, I think it's a short train. I think it this hour of the day There wouldn't be a big train no more change. That's it. I'm done, that's it, I'm stuck. I'm stuck, I'm stuck. I'm stuck in there. Yes.

There are people down towards the tail end. Okay. Which way? It's going to come in from that direction. So it comes from our right. I'm right behind you. I'm going to repeat. What made you change, Jack?

I feel like this has made me change. So the directions? Okay, you want it to be right outside the timetable. So people that don't have a sign up here, it's just a timetable. You think people get out but you're like oh yeah where am I going now? But why would they put it there? Would they be that a clogged exit? Wouldn't they put it outside of the exit? No because I don't feel like I feel like people go less straight away. Okay. So people will walk that way and they're not going to go that way towards the

exit so it's not going to clog it up. I feel like right here is the spot. I feel like you might be giving the transit authority too much credit to the design of the stations with that much noise. Oh my god, here we go. Here it comes. It's coming out of the tunnel. Okay, everyone, find the gap, get behind the other one. Oh my god, not on the other one. It's coming in. It's coming in. Lovely approach base at this stage. Very much as you'd expect. Nice and slow.

It'd be coming in. Jack said to the driver, slow it down. It's like curling. Pretty much slowed it down too early. There will be a carriage in front of him. It's a long and ugly. It is long enough. Medium densies.

It is slowing. Oh my god, there's a lot of people on that town. There's a lot of people, a lot of skimmy going. The wheel is spinning and it's now coming down to it. It's closed, it's going to be closed. It's right where he was. It's right where he was. I felt it.

He's turned it to one window away. And it was down the track. He went back on the track. I was right where I was. He went back on the track. I gave the transit line too much credit. It's a touch and feel thing in your overroading. I where I was. You were back on the first line. I gave the transit line too much credit. It's a touch and feel thing in your overroading. I know, I did.

I overthought it. You all touched your foot to begin with and then went all brain and head and mind after that. It was a bit fast and loose. I overthought it. I overthought it, yeah. Oh, damn. I don't think you could have got it more wronged, by the way.

You're close to in the middle, would. Yeah, now you hit this window here. It was close. It was pretty very wrong to in the middle, would. Yeah, now you hit this window here. It was close. It was pretty very wrong, but not the most wrong. Yeah. Well, and not a Simpson's guy. Not a Simpson's guy, but I think as we all discussed at the start, you will have to cover my fine for fair evasion as a penalty.

So I appreciate you. Oh, I do. All right, here we go. Jack, well done. Is this your platform? Technically, is my platform. Yeah. Are you going home, or? No, I'm going back to work. Alright, I'll go this way. I should say we can leave you here.

Wow. Congratulations. Hi everyone, Hamish here. Hope you enjoyed that last bit of audio. Just want to note something. In that package, I made a bit of a joke. Made it seem like I was jumping the gates at the train station, effectively ferrovating, which is a crime, that the Hamish Nation does not condone and none of us did.

I actually are off-mic, bought several monkeys and used them legally, just to clear that off. You'll be able to see how closely was and then we'll move, if you've got a HamishNerry.com or any of our pups, the video will be up there by WebGees or JazzTanks.js. Is that a good idea? Is that a good idea? Not from Jazz. And there will be, if you want to see a man walk,

flushed into the side of a train as a punishment. Yeah, it's worth having a world. Yeah. It's worth having a world. It's worth having a world. It's worth having a world. It's worth having a world. It's worth having a world. Hey, and they keep flooding in.

Hey, and they keep flooding in. So we'll keep giving them to the world. It's power moves. It's quickly, if I may, before we start. Yeah. I saw. I was chatting to a friend about a power move. Well, I'm not sure if it is a power move. But it's certainly a move I'd love to do at some point in my life.

So it might have its own different category. When someone gets up to make a speech and has the notes, and they look down at the notes, and then just tear them up. I mean, that's a power move. It's power move, is it? Yeah.

That is a grey power move. Yeah. It happens in films a lot. I just think that at some point in. It's power move, is it? Yeah. That is a grey power move. Yeah, it happens in films a lot. I just think that at some point in my life, I want to do that where I pull it out and go, you know what? You know what?

Not doing this. No. No. And yeah. As an audience member, yell, tear up your notes. So request the move from the audience. Yeah. Go off the cuff.

Tear him up. The moving car. The moving car. The moving car. To do it would be when you haven't planned anything anyway. So just get any old stuff planned. Take a plan. And then go, no.

No. I was going to say something to him, but I was going to go completely off the cuff. Yeah. And then deliver a clearly predetermined speech. And what have you got for us? I'll kick stuff for this one This is for at the pub is from andreia when you're at the pub the certain dominance Approach a group sitting down and ask is anyone using this chair?

When they say no no one sitting there sit down and join the group Good one really like it. This is from Lily. How move, if you're in a job where you can work from home some of the time? Email, this is essentially, I think this is a way to deflect attention of your productivity when you're working from home. Email two colleagues, you know, are also working from home that day.

So it helps if everyone's full time and there's like no, are they on, are they off today? Email two colleagues, you know, also working from home that day. So it helps if everyone's full time and there's like no, are they on, are they off today? In my two colleagues here, you know, we're also working full time and go, hi, I'm emailing you both because I'm not sure in Sir Colleckman's name here is working today. That means they start out this, they get suspicious about each other

if they're working and you can slip away. I like that. This one comes from Matt Hilton from Liverpool You can slip away. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.

I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it.

I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. and someone brings up an idea, hit them straight away with, yeah, well, there's always the obvious option. Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Look at their page and loudly say, three-letter word for an automobile with four wheels. That's easy, it's car. That's making your victim seem incapable of solving even the easiest, of course. I love it. It's funny to have to be, but I'm going to throw in from LLW here. She's got this from first-hand experience.

Great. During a conversation with any person, excluding bald people. Yeah. You got this from first hand experience. Great. During a conversation with any person, excluding bald people. Okay. Okay. Okay. Squint your eyes, focus on their hair, then say, I recommend washing your hair with shampoo twice through. Once might not be enough.

That's good. I mean, any guy in their 30s just starts getting the sensitivity here. Any any any any advice given will just be immediately taken to heart by any guy. That's good. That's good. Hey, me and I've discussed something. think is very important to finish today's show with.

We weren't going to do it before that because obviously it might change the mood for one of us in the room and in doing so, affect the whole show. It's a responsible for us to place it here. Now, obviously, before we do the podcast, we actually write down on a little, on, like, a little piece of paper, like, what we're going to, like, one word or like a couple words, what we're going to talk about. And this has times tables written on it. Um, Jack, and I've, am I right in saying that you had something placed on one of the sound effect buttons that should say times tables, but it will, in fact, place something

else. Correct. I'm seeing that. Okay, Jack. If you'd like to play that, Jack, and I think when you hear it, you will understand what we're doing. Okay. Playing it now. In the regular podcast system, requests for goods and services

with no intention of exchanging money for them are considered especially heinous. The dedicated detectives who investigate these TIDOS incidents are members of an elite squad known as the Special Weasels Unit. These are their stories. Now we're unsure whether this neatly sat into the category or a case required for the Special Weasels Unit. Jack, before we open up a SW investigation, is there anything you'd like to confess to? There is one glaringly obvious one that has happened.

I share. I don't want to say it though in case it's something else. I'm sure it'll be the same one. I'm going to discriminate myself for two things. No, I'm sure it'll be the same one, so you go for it. Is it golf club related? No. Awesome.

Awesome. Awesome. We've got it for another one. Damn, I shan't you I shouldn't have played. What is it? We've got it under the fish jump in the boat by itself. Now we could put the rod in. Why don't you do the right thing? You come on up here by yourself.

What's the golf club by, Jacko? I am, I'm joining the Taylormate family. I'm not a fantastic Jack. Well, well, well. And they are now my chosen golf club of choice as well. And that's who I decided to choose. I've done independent review of all available. And you must have done the independent review yourself, Jacko.

Yes, that's who I choose. I haven't golfed yet. They're in the lab making my clubs now. So you've been in had a fitting? I've had a fitting yet. Oh, this is not told to me, and I speak to the lads of the lab regularly. And he's a regular lab rat. Well done.

I told him to keep it a secret, because I have one idea that I mean, now it's wasted and it probably wouldn't happen anyway, but I was gonna spend like 10 years getting really good at golf and then then met you and versed you to game at golf and fleece you. Wow. But that would have been...

I bet you'd also talk to CEO of ours first. I appreciate you feeling you have a surplus of time, but as someone that has been trying now, Jackson, to the start of the year actively to get good at golf, can I just share with you my experience? It does like, there are a lot of people that try very hard at golf and haven't become quite unquote the best in the world. Quite a hard game. I only had to become better than Andy and get 10 to 15 years by range. He doesn't have kids and he has a golf simulator at his house. It's never gonna

happen. With a 20 year head start. How long have you got to go for that man? Like how much time per week were you going to invest over the next 10 years to get better than Andy. Well, the guy I asked the guy at the Taylor made, how much much was that? This is awesome. It's got a day one of getting 3.5 close. Ever played before, mate? No, but I am interested to know what it would take to get off scratch or be at a pro level.

He said, hit twice a week at the driving range and one less than a week. Yep. Over 10 years. 10 years. You should do it. Oh, I do. Is he out of telling you Andy? Well, that's a really good one.

Well, you do want to get out on a course. That's what Andy does. Yeah, because then you always say, hit me. Well, yeah, I mean, I, yeah, it's like, it accidentally played one two week. And you need to up yours to thrice me. No, Jack, I'm glad we've saved you from that. Enjoy, certainly enjoy golf for the game of itself

and enjoy Talon made after independently assessing them. I certainly agree with you, Joyce. Yes. No, me, I agree. But it's not that Jack. This is not. This is not, this is not. Do you want the music still?

No, no. No. The, the, here's what happened, Jack. And I think, Hayme said, we need to do this for your own good, because we're worried that... There's actually come from a place of love. Okay. We're worried it's not the fact that you like things for free.

We think you might be a hoarder. Is it possible you're a hoarder? I feel like I'm good at getting rid of things, but give me your evidence and all of that. I think your desire to have something for free, outweighs as we've heard with the golf clubs outweighs the likelihood that it will become a feature of your life. Yes. Now, do you see when they offered me the golf clubs, I said even before I fell in love with the idea of getting good golf,

I said yes. And then I was like, well, what am I going to do with golf? What can you possibly do with golf? I suppose I can get things down from a higher shelf with them. Can't we think of anything else you'd do with this bag of sticks? Unless there was some sort of game they invented where you could use each stick for its merits. OK, so what am I hoarding? I don't feel like I'm a hoarder. Jack, I think you have the same problem I have except I buy the stuff. And you just, that's how I buy.

I just can't say no when I see junk advertised online because let's get so excited. So and and purchasing it but then I think your excitement is just in the value you'll receive by having something for free. I know what it's about. So last would you like to confess, Jack? At risk of confessing again, is this about me picking up the folding card tables from Andy first? I know we get another freebie. Always hoping for one. So last week after the show I said, oh, by the way, moving house, we've got some card tables,

dressable tables, does anyone want them? And Jack paused and then went, nah, nah, and the name each went, oh, you nearly wanted something for free. You couldn't help yourself with the... He likes the... He likes the idea of free tables. But it doesn't have a use for them. Some 48 hours later, I gotta text saying,

hey man, most still a chance to get those treasur tables. It's made me think it really must have sat in your brain. Yeah, now, I you talk about having gone and done a sleep study the other week because you're having trouble sleeping at night, is it because you've heard during the day about a freebie and you're just in a wake or night going, how do I get?

Retable, free table, free table, free table. I just think with a, with a stressful table, you're gonna need it one time in the future and wouldn't it have been a sad day when we were trying to set about a barbecue up or something and we're gone, you know what would have been good, those trussle tables that Andy was trying to give to us?

This is the thing. Your brain does that thing that stops people being able to clean out their wardrobe. And I have it too, where I go, can't throw that out, what if there's a Hawaiian shirt themed party? And I go, but actually, I have four of these shirts that I'll never wear in real life. Well, what if there's four Hawaiian shirt themed party? And I go, but actually, I have four of these shirts

that I'll never wear in real life. Well, what if there's four parties in quick succession? And you don't want to be the guy wearing the same on shirt to all the parties? Well, I will say this. I am good at having the thing that I except for free for about a year and then going, you know what? I'm not using that.

Where's my drum? Yeah, well, they were being used at the moment. Who buy? Buy Martin. I want to say Martin. You don't know who you came up with. Yeah, he's off Instagram, but he's looking after them. And then as soon as we need them back, he said he will drive them over to bring them back.

He's gone, Jackie. He's finished his tour, my drums. Yeah, the one-year Instagram. Yeah, the one-year. So. Yeah, that's exactly what happened. He is what we wanted to say, Jacko, I think you need to provide evidence of a situation where you needed the Tresill tables with the... You need to produce just cause to have the Tresill tables. You need to have a yard sale.

How long do I have? One month. Oh, that's a little rough. Let's do I have? One month. Oh, that's a little rough. Let's go to the end of this show. So two months, into the year. There we go. Before the last show of the year,

you need to do something, which isn't selling them that requires. Me to unfold the tables. The tables. And are they the Bunnings Tressell tables, Andy? It's just like the long, right. How many? I know they're like more of a car table, so square ones.

This is where we are. Oh square, or like the one we used when we during COVID had to do the show from the golf sim. That's what it was for. Mm-hmm. Okay. Do you need a car table-based situation? Do I need to use both?

Yes. Okay. Did you take both? Yes. Why? Just in case. And here comes the here it comes. But if I had to use for everything that I've took for free, if I had to use it within a month or even two months, that's like those jackets that we go with the heat like with the heated battery

and it that makes like heats up during winter. You couldn't snatch that fast enough. I know, I've never used it and I've got to get rid of that. I keep looking at it, I keep looking at the battery charge, I keep looking at the battery and thinking, I'm never that cold. When we eventually... This is our point, Jack. This is our point, like, this is to hopefully train you

that moment where you get that last of going, God, I could have a Bosch heated jacket. Hmm. Hmm. Which we all got given. And I mean, Andy and I were smart enough to give us a way straight away to it to someone that would appreciate the more than us,

because with all due respect to Boss, you're not wearing a Boss jacket. Be the clunkiness of having to heat battery charge. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that was plenty. You know that's right. You have to really be on site every day, like before 6am to warrant wanting to warm up totally. And if you were to the footy you can eat tea's by your mates.

That's what everybody was like. Not even word. I go to dad and said, don't word the footy I think you'll be teased by my mates. We'll be back with a new program.